This small sitting room with its high angular ceiling, and austere fluted walls is drafty. I, the newest Knight in the Order, have stared at these highly-stylized walls, sitting upon this cold marble floor, languishing in the stillness. I wish things had gone very differently. Qui-Gon meant so much to me. He wasn't just my mentor. He was more like a father; a loving friend. Sobbing openly at his funeral would not have been fitting, but I had wanted to.
All the attendees have retired for the night--Palpatine, Queen Amidala, Sio Bibble, Captain Panaka, Yoda, Mace Windu, Even Piell, Depa Billaba, Saesee Tiin; even that wisp of a boy, the tow-haired object of my Master's burning contention that he is the vergence, the Chosen One.
Anakin Skywalker...why does a sense of foreboding loom within me whenever the thought of him crosses my mind? Regardless of these ominous feelings I keep having of late, I will keep my promise, made to Qui-Gon as I felt his life slip away.
The vitality of the Force, attuned to enveloping me, caresses my soul, and despite my uneasy feelings, I feel better attuned to releasing all that is negative into the Force. I will never forget what happened, but coming away stronger is incumbent. I will fulfill my destiny as I have always promised Qui-Gon that I would.
I am no longer a Padawan learner. I am a fully-trained Jedi Knight, and I will make my Master proud. I breathe in deeply once more. Ah...that is much better, but what would be best would be having Qui-Gon here.
Qui-Gon... I squeeze my eyes shut again, longing to feel the comforting touch of his hand upon my back, to ease the taut muscles in-between my shoulder blades. I start imagining that I do, craving his fortifying presence, coupled with the warmth of solace that he could effortlessly channel the Force to lend. Those are the times I'll always cherish.
'Obi-Wan...'
I snap my eyes open, shaken from my fond memories.
"Yes, I am here..."
'Good. We will talk.'
I strain to hear the staid whispering of the voice that has always brought me such comfort and stability.
"Ma--"
'The Force, Obi-Wan, stretch out with it. Where there is oneness of purpose, there is where you will be, centering yourself.'
I sit up straighter, raptly looking about myself. From the other side of the room, tendrils of light are merging.
'Release all disquiet into the Force.'
"Yes, Master..." I voice aloud breathlessly, so glad, I feel I could burst with joy. So there was a reason for the quirking of expectancy within me. The bond I shared with him when he was still among the living is still intact. "Qui-Gon," I happily pronounce.
The sound of his words floats upon the air as my smile fully blossoms. 'The Force will be with you always, as I shall be.' Qui-Gon's transparent aura shimmers before me. Tentatively, I reach out to touch him, but my hand stalls just as he begins to speak again. 'The living Force is your steadfast ally. You, its receptive vessel. Trust your instincts. Mind all that you have learned, Obi-Wan.'
"Yes, Master," I readily acquiesce, and feel my eyes water a little. I am aglow with the Force and I bask in the warmth of Qui-Gon's presence. No longer is this room chilly.
'Train the boy.'
"I will, Master."
'No. I am no longer your Master; you, my Padawan learner. You know all that you need. You are every bit the Jedi Knight I have trained you to be.' His spectral presentiment brightens in intensity. I feel invigorated to the marrow, feeling truly good. I did vanquish a Sith, but I didn't do it soon enough, and despite the satisfaction Qui-Gon has engendered in me, I confess, "I'm sorry I wasn't quicker. We should have defeated the Sith together."
His diaphanous image flickers in what he wants me to discern is his protestation, but I feel his censure to be mild. 'Divorce your true self from those negative feelings. They mislead you. Live in the present as I have often had to remind you.'
"Yes, you have had to do that from time to time."
'As I feel I need to remind you again, now.'
We share a light chuckle, and it is truly then that I realize that a separation between my mentor and me will never exist. I nod, happier again, feeling his smile of approval aimed directly at me. The feelings of closeness in our bond have been beautifully resurrected.
'You have much work to do, remarkable Knight. Yours is a life of sacrifice, as it is willed by the Force.' His image drifts, wafting serenely over to the paned glass that has taken on the complete darkness of night. He raises his hand in farewell, and I raise mine, in imitation.
"I won't fail you, Mast--I mean, Qui-Gon," I promise, and he smiles at my slip of the honorific.
'There is no failure where there is complete reliance on the Force actuating a noble heart.'
I feel my Padawan braid being gently tugged as his temporal image wanes, and I wipe away a few errant tears of contentment with the back of my hand. His ephemeral touch brushes my cheek. The caress feels so similar to the one he gave me before he began his transcendent journey within the crux of my arms.
I sigh, and continue to stare at the void his absence has created. Meditation is easier now, throwing myself into it this time, full force. I will train Anakin, and he will bring balance to the Force as Qui-Gon profoundly believes. I embrace his belief too now because I believe in him with all my heart. Not only will the Force be with Anakin and me to finish my Padawan's training...Qui-Gon will be too.
End
