| In the begining there was Ewan. He sat on his cloud and looked down into nothingness. He was bored and lonely so he decided to make light. Then he decided to make all these little planets that go wizzing aroud the light. Then he made water and plants and animals aof all different shapes and sizes. Last but not least he wanted to make something truely wonderful that resembled himself. He picked up a bit of clay from the little planet earth and sculpeted it into the form of him. He than baked it but left in in the kiln for too long so it got all crscked and old looking. He was not please as it looked ugly and hidious but never the less as he was such a kind god he breathed life into it, named him Adam and put it onto earth where the new man could wander aroud freely. He was so disatified by his creation and felt sorry for Adam that he set about making another one. This time he made a female because by this time he was getting fed up with making humans so he made them make their own. He made sure so was beautiful and didn't leave he for too long in the kiln. He decided to call her Eve. When he breathed life into her and put her on earth to play with Adam he watched them and was pleased. The next day however he could not find them so he decided to make a beautiful garden for them with very high walls so they couldn't escape. He eventally found them and placed them in the garden. Adam and Eve were very thankful for this garden and praised their lord Ewan emensely. They had everything they needed, a swimming pool, a vegetable patch, even a chicken coop with lots of little chickens in. There was however one condition that lord Ewan did order, that they were not alowed to eat the brussell sprots from the vegetable patch (because they make you fart). Adam and Eve were very happy on earth going about their dayly buisness but lord Ewan was still getting lonely. 'They do not involve me and I feel that I am just prying in on them'. So he disguesed himself as a mear mortal and flew down to Earth. He walked into the garden and saw Adam and Eve playing together. A pang of jellousy fell across him and he realised for the first time that he had fallen in love with Eve (it makes you sick doesn't it). Lord Ewan didn't know what to do but a plan was hatching in his mind. He would dress up as a pennyless sitar player and play sweet music to her when Adam was not there. He wooed her with his beautiful music but she was ever faithful to Adam. Lord Ewan had to think of other tactics. He changed himself into another mortal this time with a curnaled chin and talked with a scottish accent. He came along and flashed his smill at her. She imideately fell in love with it but she didn't want to leave Adam for he was very old now. Ewan did daring things that normally would displease him but he had to get the girl. On day a master plan popped into his head. He would use the brussell sprouts! He went over to Eve and sayed 'have you tryed these sprouts' to which she answered 'my lord forbids it'. But Ewan didn't have to use much persuasion. He picked one up and munched on it happyly. After seeing this Eve thought that it must be ok and picked one too and started eating. Then Ewan made his excuses and ran away. When he was far away he changed back into his goddly form amd flew back to heaven. When he got there he spoke loudly down to earth so that Adam and Eve could hear him. 'Eve you have eaten the one thing that I forbade you to eat. Therefore you will have to leave your beautiful garden and I shall make you live in France where it is not a nice place and it smells.' Eve was distraught but there was nothing she could do.She packed her bags and got a concord to France. Lord Ewan seeing that she arived safely in Frace changed back again into the same scottish man that he was before and flew down to the land of France. There he walked the streets looking for Eve. Eventally he stumbled across her in Paris and she was shocked to see him. She was still angry that it was him who got her thrown out of her garden. Lord Ewan started to feel guilty and confessed his plan to her. She then felt flattered and agreed to his marrage proposal. Lord Ewan decided that it was more fun on Earth than in heaven so he hired a wonderful little girl called Fiona to be his angel and to look after heaven for him. She accepted at once for she too had seen that Lord Ewan was a beautiful person. She however had one condition, that he comes to visit her at least once a week to relieve her of her sexual tension. To this day Lord Ewan has kept his word and he and Eve have produced two beautiful children. |