The Informer - WELCOME FANS TO TUESDAY NIGHT HEAT!!!!!

Vic Canon - AND GET READY FOR 2 HOURS OF NON STOP ACTION!

Eddie Sensation - You better beleive it Canon!

The Informer - We have an action packed show for you here tonight... One of the many matches will feature Blitzkreig taking on one of Da BJ Boyz, Adam Kress!!

Vic Canon - Who is the Mystery Opponent? Tonight, we find out!

Eddie Sensation - Also, DMX will get what he asked for last week... An Extreme Challenge! And that challenge will be from The Hustler!

The Informer - Plus, The Seventh Layer and Triple Threat will get it on to find out who will go to HH2 as the challengers for the Tag Team Titles!

Vic Canon - And, Zed and Starshot will get it on once again in a re-match from last week! Tonight we find out who is the better man!

Eddie Sensation - But in the main event, Deuce and Thorn will get it on to see who deserves to be the #1 Contender and who should go to Hellacious Halloween!!

The Informer - But first, he says he has no competition! He will leave you UNFORGIVEN! He is ZED!

Zed - Well well well.... look at this capacity crowd in attendance for tonights live Heat event...

[The fans begin to cheer for themselves, indicating they are more than excited to be in attendance for an EWA related event.]

Zed - You people need to learn to settle down. Wrestling is the same crap week after week. Zed beats this guy, then Zed beats that guy, and the next week Zed pummels another guy. How much more of me can you people handle?? I know I'm the reason why you idiots decided to show up, but god, even I thought you zombies were smart enough to know when to stop wasting your cash. I've beaten just about everyone in this federation, so as far as I'm concerned, the show can't get anymore exciting unless I'm wrestling someone good.... or new. And unfortunately, the EWA can't provide anyone good... or new!!!!

[The fans begin to boo like mad hell upon hearing Zed's insults and cheap shots taken at the EWA roster.]

Zed - However, believe it or not I didn't come out here to point out everything wrong with the EWA. Hell, that'd take me about ten Tuesday Night Heats to do. In fact I'm out here to discuss tonights main event match between "The Bulldog Cracker" Deuce and "The Inbred Tinkerbell" Thorn. These two fairies are going to attempt to wrestle a match of some sort in the main event slot, and sadly enough for the rest of us suckers, we all have to watch it. Since I'll be too busy celebrating after I knock around Starshot, I won't have time to give my last minute thoughts and comments later on. Therefore, I am doing it now.

[The fans begin to boo but quickly settle down as Zed begins to speak even louder.]

Zed - NOW THEN, lets go through a step-by-step careful analysis of tonights main event bout. We have in one corner the guy who puts the "Juvinile" in "Juvinile", Big Daddy Deuce. And in the other corner we have Mr. "I only give interviews when I feel like it...", Thorn. Incidentally our rather unactive comrade Thorn just so happens to be the EWA International Champion. Uh oh... I see yet another title losing its prestige, much similar to the way The EWA Heavyweight Title lost its prestige after being held by The Brink. Tonight main even match will be a simple one. You've got a bum in one corner and an idiot in the other, and when you let them loose it'll closely resemble a mexican cockfight. They'll be pecking, clawing, and chewing at each other until one of them finally cries and runs away shrieking. Who will be the victorious rooster in the end? My guess would be Thorn. In comparison to Deuce he's a far better athelete. Deuce is just..... Deuce.... 'Nuff said right there. However, when you compare them both to me you realize that this coming PPV's main event is going to be lacking something. What will it be lacking? Oh... just a little something I like to call "Decent Competetion" for Zed. I'm going to save you morons out there about 20 bucks by giving away the ending of Hellacious Halloween 2. The winner of the main event will be Zed... because his opponent will suck. See? I just saved you people alot of cash. Needless to say after the PPV I will be the Heavyweight Champion, regardless of who I face in the ring. So quite frankly I don't give two sh*ts about who wins tonight, because I know.... and just about everyone knows I could beat both Deuce and Thorn anyway. So enough of my blabbering, lets get on with the event! And before I go, I'd like to say goodluck to you tonight Starshot, because you are definately going to need it. And when all is said and done, in the end, you will be left UNFORGIVEN!!!

[With that all said Zed tosses the mic out of the ring and rolls out of the ring. "The Unforgiven" by Metallica begins to blast over the arena speakers as Zed and Santoro disappear into the back locker room area.]

The Informer - Damn, he sounds confident!

Vic Canon - You could say that...

Eddie Sensation - And you could also say that he will be the Heavyweight Champion on Sunday! Woohoo!!

The Informer - Alright Eddie....... Now let's send it up to the ring with Chris Myers!

["Sir Psycho Sexy" by The Red Hot Chilli Peppers blasts through the speakers, as Leroy, followed by Sir Psycho Sexy, step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And his opponent, standing 17'6" and weighing in at 4026 pounds, from The Land of The Rising Preliminary Wrestlers... The MAN! The MYTH! The LEGEND! Often times seat at the left hand of the Father! Here comes.... The world's GREATEST freeeestanding pro wrestler IN THE WORLD TODAY!!........ M......M......G!!!!!

["Mambo #5" by Lou Bega blasts through the speakers, as MMG steps out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - Ummm... oh... you're not seriou.... oh God... there he is... this isn't a rib... oh, damn... oh.... DAMN!

Vic Canon - Who is this guy, Informer??

Eddie Sensation - Yeah! Who is he??

The Informer - If I told you, well... you just wouldn't belive me. Put it like that.

Vic Canon - We're being told that this man was last spotted in the DEAD or ALIVE Pro Wrestling Organization... and he's known for sporting the imfamous "bruises that don't go away"... what the hell does that mean?

Eddie Sensation - It never heals because the dude never stops getting beat up!

The Informer - Exactly. Look at him... he's fat! He's not quite 4000 pounds as announced, but he ain't no french model! That's for sure!

Vic Canon - Oh no! He's grabbing the mic! HE'S GONNA DO A MIC-SPHEEL! WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE A MIC-SPHEEL THESE DAYS!

Eddie Sensation - Damn... let's sit back and watch, shall we?

MMG - [Loooooooooooooooooooooong Pause] HEY YO! COMO ESTAS SENIORITA! SIR PSYCHO SEXY!!! YOU ARE STOOOOPID! I HATE YOU!!! TONIGHT I CAME, ARRIVED... SHOWED UP, CHICO... TO MAKE YOUR LIFE HELL!!!!

The Informer - He's gonna make our lives worse than this???

Vic Canon - Folks, we just got word from the people who do the Neilson ratings... and, well... if MMG doesn't stop talking soon, Tuesday Night Heat may be cancelled...

Eddie Sensation - HA HA! ARE THE RATINGS THAT LOW??

MMG - YEAH CHILANOS!!! I AM HERE TO SQUASH YOUR SPIRIT!!! NOT ONLY AM I GONNA KICK YOUR ASS BACK TO MEXICO...

Audience - CALIFORNIA!!!

MMG - ...BACK TO OHIO...

Audience - CALIFORNIA!!!

MMG - ...BACK TO TEXAS...

Audience - CALIFORNIA!!!

MMG - ...BACK TO THE FORMER YUGOSLAV...

Audience - ERRRR????

MMG - ...BUT GUESS WHAT??? I'M ALSO GONNA KICK YOUR ASS BACK TO CALIFORNIA TOO!!!

The Informer - Does this state enforce the death penalty?

Vic Canon - I hope so, because this dude is killing us out here!

MMG - TONIGHT!!!!!! SIR PSYCHO SEXY!!!! I GIVE YOU BEATING! THEN I GIVE YOU SOMETHING SPECIAL!!! IT'S IN MY PANTS!!! AND TO GET IT, YOU HAVE TO BEAT ME FIRST!!!!!

The Informer - OH MY GOD NO!!!!!!! THAT IS SICK AND VULGAR!!! YUCK!!! PLEASE NO!!!

Sir Psycho Sexy - I've already let the world know that I am not gay on many occasions. So whatever sick games you are playing will have to wait till after I kick your ass!

MMG - HA HA HA!!! IF YOU ARE SO LUCKY TO BEAT ME!! THE GREAT MMG!!! REACH INTO MY PANTS AND GRAB YOUR DESTINY!!!!!!!!!!!

The Informer - Whoa! That one actually rhymed! MMG has an ounce of talent afterall!

Vic Canon - Well, let's see. Sir Psycho Sexy just knocked MMG down with a simple punch, so... I kinda doubt that, Informer!

The Informer - WHAT WAS I THINKING!

Eddie Sensation - Looks like this match is officially on the way! Sexy tosses MMG to the ropes... DROPKICK! RIGHT ON THE MARK!

Vic Canon - Sir Psycho runs to the ropes.... BIG LEG DROP! WICKED!

The Informer - Ah, Sir Psycho is flexing! I wonder if that means this one will soon be over? Maybe the Sexy Drop is in the near future!

Eddie Sensation - Looks like Sexy is going for a powerbomb instead!

Vic Canon - Wait! Folks... we're being given word that this move is actually not just a regular powerbomb... but actually MMG's own move... the MMG BOMB!

The Informer - Whoa... ho... ho.. HOLD ON A SECOND! ARE YOU SAYING THAT THE "MMG BOMB" HAS ACTUALLY BEEN PERFORMED BEFORE??? THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!! MMG HAS NEVER WON A MATCH, HAS HE???

Eddie Sensation - HAHA!!!

Vic Canon - Either way Informer, that's what I'm being told.... and here it comes!!!

The Informer - WHAM!! A RUNNING POWERBOMB!! RIGHT INTO THE PIN... 1... 2... 3!!! PSYCHO WINS! PSYCHO WINS!!!!

Eddie Sensation - Calm down Informer, you're making it seem like you didn't expect this!

The Informer - MY BAD!

Eddie Sensation - Hmmm... I wonder if Sir Psycho is gonna reach into MMG's pants now and grab his "destiny"!! HAHAHA!!

Vic Canon - SENSATION!!!

The Informer - NASTY MAN, NASTY!!! UGH!!!

Eddie Sensation - Well, MMG did say he was here for more than one reason. He said he came to beat up Sexy, and to do something else too. Hold on... Sir Psycho is calling Leroy up into the ring.

Vic Canon - Leroy is entering the ring, I wonder what they have planned.

The Informer - I have no clue! Sexy is whispering something into Leroy's ear...

Eddie Sensation - WHOA! Leroy doesn't wanna do whatever Sexy just told him too! HA HA!! I know... he's gonna make Leroy reach into MMG's pants for him to see if MMG has anything down his pants.

Vic Canon - I love the way you worded that...

The Informer - Hold on for a ride folks! Leroy has a grip of MMG's tights.... LISTEN TO THIS CROWD REACTION! YOU'VE GOTTA LOVE IT!!

Eddie Sensation - IT'S IN!! PAST THE SURFACE!! 100% PENETRATED!! LEROY'S HAND IS IN MMG'S PANTS!! AAAHAHAHAHA!!!

Vic Canon - Whoa, what is that he pulled out? It's a piece of paper...

The Informer - Not just any piece of paper! IT'S ANOTHER "TDS" LETTER!! THAT EXPLAINS IT ALL!! WHOEVER SENT MMG OUT HERE ALSO SENT HIM OUT TO DELIVER SEXY THIS LETTER!!

Eddie Sensation - So, I guess this means that Sir Psycho Sexy has been selected to fight in the "TDS" invitational tournament! This is too weird!

Vic Canon - Sir Psycho Sexy is looking at the letter, and he doesn't look too pleased!

The Informer - HE'S RIPPING THE LETTER UP!! HA HA!!! AND LOOK!!! HE'S SHOVING IT DOWN INTO MMG'S MOUTH!! LEROY JUST HANDED SEXY THE MIC!!

Sir Psycho Sexy - So, I'm the next one "selected", huh? MMG, if you're still conscious enough to hear this... you go back and tell whoever sent you out here that the SEXY ONE accepts the challenge!! AND SIR PSYCHO SEXY DON'T LAY DOOOOOWN FOR NOBODY!!

Vic Canon - That a boy Psycho!

The Informer - Man, this "TDS" Dark Secret mystery gets more interesting as we go on. So far, we know that this "TDS" thing is an invitational tournament... and we know that DMX and Sir Psycho Sexy have been "invited" to fight. I guess that explains why Hellacious Halloween 2 is now sub-titled "The Dark Secret"! I'm sure we will find out the rules to this tournament, and all of its competitors on Halloween night! Only on Pay-Per-View!

Eddie Sensation - Fans, you owe it to yourselves to tune into the EWA's second annual Hallacious Halloween extraviganza! Check us out, only on Pay-Per-View! Sunday Night, October 31st! Be there!

Chris Myers - The next match is scheduled for one fall. First, standing 6'3" and weighing in at 263 pounds, from Miami, Florida, Mr. Extreme!

["Brainstew" by Green Day blasts through the speakers, as Mr. Extreme steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And his opponent, standing 6'4" and weighing in at 265 pounds, from Indianapolis, Indiana, The Wildman!

["Living Dead Girl" by Rob Zombie blasts through the speakers, as The Wildman steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - The Wildman slides into the ring and takes Mr. Extreme's head off with a clothesline! Mr. Extreme gets up, Drop Kick by The Wildman! Mr. Extreme rolls to the outside!

Vic Canon - Nice series of moves from The Wildman!

Eddie Sensation - Ha! Mr. Extreme just pulled The Wildman out of the ring by his feet! Mr. Extreme picks him up, samoan drop! Mr. Extreme is laying the boots to The Wildman!

The Informer - Mr. Extreme rolls into the ring, resets the count and goes back to the outside! Mr. Extreme picks up The Wildman, WHIP INTO THE STEEL POLE!

Vic Canon - Wildman is rolling around on the floor in pain! Mr. Extreme gets into the ring... He bounces off the ropes, SUICIDE DIVE ONTO THE OUTSIDE! The Wildman goes flying backwards!

Eddie Sensation - Hahaha! Mr. Extreme picks him up... Russian Leg Sweep onto the concrete floor!! YES!! That's what I'm talkin about!

The Informer - Mr. Extreme picks up the Wildman, and throws him into the ring. The Wildman gets to his feet, he bounces off the ropes... FLYING CLOTHESLINE! Mr. Extreme gets back up... The Wildman charges at Mr. Extreme with a spear, but Extreme sidesteps him and Wildman goes flying into the ropes!

Vic Canon - Mr. Extreme picks up The Wildman... Powerbomb attempt! He lifts him.... HURRACONRANA BY WILDMAN!! INTO A PIN.... 1.... 2..... NO! Mr. Extreme just gets out!

Eddie Sensation - What a fluke!

The Informer - The Wildman kicks Mr. Extreme in the gut... PILEDRIVER! ITS OVER!

Vic Canon - Lee Fleming counts... 1.... 2..... JUST IN TIME!

Eddie Sensation - That was closer then Divine is to his.... his..... his unit!

The Informer - His WHAT?! The Wildman picks up Mr. Extreme... Swinging Neckbreaker! He goes for the pin... 1.... 2....

Vic Canon - Kickout! The Wildman looks frustrated! He picks up Mr. Extreme... OH NO! The Wildman has Mr. Extreme locked with a mandible claw!! Mr. Extreme is fading!!

Eddie Sensation - Ahh! He's down to one knee!

The Informer - Mr. Extreme is now on the mat! OH! LOW BLOW!! THAT EVENS IT OUT!

Vic Canon - The ref begins to count... 1.... 2.... 3.... 4....

Eddie Sensation - Ha! These guys would both look like idiots if the match ends in a double countout!

The Informer - 7... 8.... Mr. Extreme is on his feet! He picks up The Wildman... POWERBO-- No! The Wildman lifts him for a bakc body drop! NO! Mr. Extreme gives him a fist to the back of the head and The Wildman goes back down! POWERBOMB by Mr. Extreme!

Vic Canon - He goes for the cover... 1... 2... The Wildman gets his shoulder up!

Eddie Sensation - Dammit! Stay down!

The Informer - Mr. Extreme goes to the top... The Wildman is slowly getting up... Mr. Extreme jumps!

Vic Canon - Looks like a hurraconranna attempt!

Eddie Sensation - WHAM! OUCH! POWERBOMB BY THE WILDMAN!

The Informer - The Wildman picks up Mr. Extreme... Uh oh! Looks like it's time...... YES!

Vic Canon - ATOMIC DEATH DROP! The Wildman goes for the cover... Lee Fleming counts... 1..... 2..... 3!

Chris Myers - And the winner of this match, The Wildman!

Eddie Sensation - What a move by The Wildman!

The Informer - The Wildman picks up a victory over Mr. Extreme! I understand that backstage, Rob DiMarco is with Blitzkreig! Rob?

Blitzkreig - Well... that depends on what outcome you are talking there son..... if you are talking about the fact that Adam Kress decided to take it upon himself to lay me out... HELL NO!! But if you are talking about the Kress Express making an unscheduled stop at Blitzville courtesy of the Blitz~Plex you can bank on it.

Rob DiMarco - And what do you think about your partner, Deuce, fighting for the #1 Contender spot here tonight??.

Blitzkreig - Well you know... Deuce and I are boys. Friends. And hell practically family. We have been there through thick and thin. Now he has a shot at something that he has wanted for as long as I have known him. And for me to stand in the way of that would but our friendship in jeapordy.

Rob DiMarco - Alright... Good luck with your match, and now lets take it to Chris Myers in the ring!

["When Worlds Collide" by Powerman 5000 blasts through the speakers, as Blitzkreig steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - Now, lets take you backstage with Rob DiMarco once again...

Rob DiMarco - Adam, last week you took out Blitzkreig with your vicious Kress Kick. Will we be seeing the same thing tonight??

Adam Kress - Of course Rob, would you really expect anything else from Adam Kress? Tonight I am going to show Blitzkreig what true talent is all about! The Kress Kick is the most devastating move in the EWA today for one very simple reason...... I can hit you with hit anytime, anywhere, and Blitzkrieg found that out the hardway last week when I amazed the entire EWA with my awesome job as a referee! Blitzkreig isn't in my leauge, can't you see I'm the one with the title belt sitting next to me??? Sure he was a tag champion a long time ago, but this is now, this is my time! And if Blitzkrieg doesn't watch himself he's going to end up getting a whole lot more than he bargained for.

Rob DiMarco - Also last week, your partner Brian was beaten after he controlled the match for several minutes. Will you be more cautios?

Adam Kress - Well see my brother really wasnt trying his best but I'm not going to make excuses for the stupid son of a bitch. It's not the fact that I'm going to be more cautios, I'm just gonna be myself, and thats one hell of an entertainer. The fact that he beat my brother last week has nothing at all to do with me. We are two very different competitors with two completely different styles. I take every match as if it were my last, and there is no way in hell I'm gonna job to some loser on Tuesday Night Heat. Everyone in the EWA knows what kind of tag team wrestler I am..... now they're all gonna see what kind of singles wrestler I am.

Rob DiMarco - Strong words from Adam Kress! Chris, take it away...

Chris Myers - And his opponent, standing 5'11" and weighing in at 225 pounds, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, one half of the EWA Tag Team Champions, "Awesome" Adam Kress!

["Shake Your Bon Bon" by Ricky Martain blasts through the speakers, as one half of the EWA Tag Team Champions, Adam Kress steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - This should be more then a fight!

Vic Canon - Certainly will! These guys are aiming for each other's necks!

Eddie Sensation - There goes the bell! This match is underway!

The Informer - Looks like a test of strength! The men lock one hand... Rake to the eyes by Adam Kress! He LEVELS Blitzkreig with a clothesline!

Vic Canon - Adam already has the match in his hand not even a minute through it!

Eddie Sensation - Adam Kress drops a knee across the throat of Blitzkreig!! YEAH!! CHOKE HIM! CHOKE HIM!

The Informer - Lance King threatens to disqualify Adam Kress, and he lets go of the hold!

Vic Canon - Adam goes for the cover... 1... Ohh! One count!

Eddie Sensation - Are you trying to be funny?

The Informer - I hope not. Adam picks up Blitz... DDT! Kress gets up, and works the crowd.

Vic Canon - He's wasting valuable time! Adam applies a Figure Four! Blitzkreig is wincing in pain! He's pulling himself towards the ropes... and gets to them!

Eddie Sensation - Ha! Adam isn't letting go of the hold!! BREAK HIS LEGS!

The Informer - The ref breaks the hold! Kress pulls him back into the middle of the ring.... What's he doing?? He's putting on another Leg Lock! This time he applies a Sharpshooter! Blitzkreig is holding on! He won't give up!

Vic Canon - Blitz has a hold of the referee's shirt! He throws the ref backwards, and the ref nails Adam Kress! The two bumped heads!

Eddie Sensation - KILL HIM KRESS!! KILL HIM!!

The Informer - Adam releases the hold, and kicks the referee out of the ring! Adam Kress climbs to the top, and showboats! Meanwhile, Blitzkreig is getting up! Kress climbs to the top rope, and prepares for a mooonsault....

Vic Canon - No! Blitzkreig knocks him off onto his jewels! Blitz sets him up.... BLITZ~PLEX!!! BLITZ~PLEX!!! IT'S OVER!!

Eddie Sensation - No it's not you idiot... there's no ref!

The Informer - Blitzkreig has just screwed himself out of wining the match! Blitz goes to the outside and rolls the ref into the ring. He stands the ref up, and tells him to count!

Vic Canon - Blitz turns around...

Eddie Sensation - WHAM!! KRESS KICK!!!! KRESS KICK!!!

The Informer - Adam Kress has made Blitz taste his boot for the second time in just over a week! Lance King counts.... 1.... 2.... 3!!!

Chris Myers - And the winner of this match... Adam Kress!

Vic Canon - Adam Kress has once again left Blitzkreig in the middle of the ring out cold!

Eddie Sensation - That's what he gets!

The Informer - Well Blitz won't be happy about this... Adam Kress will get his one day.

Vic Canon - Next up we have Divine taking on Chris Slates in a Non-Title Match!

Eddie Sensation - Divine? Yuck.

The Informer - Don't go away, Divine vs. Slates is next!

Chris Myers - The next match is scheduled for one fall and is a Non-Title Match. First, standing 6'7" and weighing in at 325 pounds, from Cleveland, Ohio, he is the EWA North American Champion, Divine!

["I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred blasts through the speakers, as Tito followed by the EWA North American Champion Divine step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And his opponent, standing 6'2" and weighing in at 245 pounds, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Chris Slates!

["Welcome To The Fold" by Filter blasts through the speakers, as Chris Slates steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - Chris Slates isn't taking his eyes off Divine... I think it's safe to say that Slates isn't too happy with Divine's "style", if you know what I mean.

Vic Canon - Hahha, yeah... You could say that! Divine walks towards Slates... And Slates runs out of the ring! Divine follows him....

Eddie Sensation - They do a lap around the ring, then Slates slides in... Divine follows him into the ring, and Slates lays the boots to Divine!

The Informer - Divine gets up... Slates grabs Divine in a belly to back suplex... Wait a minute! Slates just let go of Divine and ran out of the ring! What the hell was that?!

Vic Canon - Obviously, Divine is playing mind games with him... He probably told him that he'd like to be in that position after the match or something!

Eddie Sensation - Ummm... Canon, do you practise these lines at home, or have you used them in the past?

Vic Canon - SHUT YOUR MOUTH EDDIE.

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHHAH! Chill dude! It was a joke!

The Informer - Calm down Vic... You're taking your job to seriously! Slates is still on the outside shaking off... Divine leaps over the ropes, CROSS BODY! Divine lays the fists to the skull off Slates!

Vic Canon - Divine throws him into the ring... He climbs to the top rope. Slates gets up... MISSLE DROPKICK BY DIVINE!

Eddie Sensation - He goes for the pin.... 1.... 2.... Kickout by Chris Slates.

The Informer - Divine picks up Slates, and throws him to the ropes....

Vic Canon - BIG POWERSLAM! He goes for the cover... 1.... 2... No! Slates gets out just in time!

Eddie Sensation - He shouldv'e stayed down if he doesn't like Divine! That way he wouldn't have to wrestle this match!!

The Informer - How do we know he doesn't like it?

Vic Canon - Yeah!

Eddie Sensation - Vic?? Are you a little... Umm....

Vic Canon - NO! SHUT YOUR FACE.

The Informer - Eddie, he's gonna snap soon... And we all know he's Canadian!

Eddie Sensation - HE IS?!

The Informer - Yep.

Eddie Sensation - OH SHIT!

Vic Canon - Divine picks up Slates... DDT! Divine climbs to the top rope.... ELBOW OFF THE TOP! He goes for the pin....

Eddie Sensation - 1... 2..... No! Slates gets out again!

The Informer - Divine picks up Slates by his hair. He scoops him up.... TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER! Divine goes for the pin... No, wait...

Vic Canon - Awww god! Divine is touching Slates in... well, obsene places! This is gross!

Eddie Sensation - Vic......... No comment...

The Informer - Good man... Divine gets up. He lifts Slates to his feet.... OH! FULL NELSON SLAM! Divine goes for the cover... 1... 2.... No! Slates gets out again!

Vic Canon - Divine picks up Slates... And he ties him up in the ropes! Uh oh! Slates is in trouble now!

Eddie Sensation - SICK! DIVINE IS....

The Informer - DON'T SAY IT! You could get us in trouble! Divine is embarassing Slates! He's all red in the face! GROSS!

Vic Canon - The ref unties Slates....

Eddie Sensation - HA! HE'S GOING BACKSTAGE!

The Informer - Well, the guy has just been sexual asaulted! He's had enough!

Vic Canon - There goes the bell!

Chris Myers - The winner of this match by Count Out, the EWA North American Champion, Divine!

Eddie Sensation - HAHHAHA! THAT WAS THE MOST HILARIOUS MATCH I'VE SEEN!

The Informer - Well, he's done worse... lets just say that.

Vic Canon - As Divine leaves the ring, you've gotta wonder what Chris Slates is going to do to prepare for his match this Sunday! If he's anything like he was this match, then he shouldn't even show up!

Eddie Sensation - Who do you think is gayer? Goldust or Divine?

The Informer - Who?? Did you say Goldust?? Who the hell is that?!

The Informer - Uh oh! Sir Psycho Sexy has just beat the hell out of Blitzkreig! Blitzkreig is going to be pissed!

Vic Canon - Wait a minute, I hear that Rachel Stevens is backstage with Divine...

Eddie Sensation - OOOH! This is gonna be funny!

The Informer - Rachel?

Divine - First of all honey, dont come up in my face and get an attitude with me! I am the one and only diva of the EWA and if I feel like faking my death, I will!! And dont forget that even though I am one sexy son of a bitch and the EWA's leading Diva, I am the EWA North American champion!! Divine works in mysterious ways and if you dont watch yourself you'll find out first hand........well.....then again......your not my type.

Rachel Stevens - Are you trying to gain a mental advantage over Chris Slates by showing him how far you'd go to get a victory??

Divine - What is it with you and all these questions? Do you have your eyes on Tito or something? Well you can just forget about that because he's taken and he doesnt swing that way so you can get lost you pervert. But the answer to your question is this......Chris Spanks should of realized that when he entered the EWA he was going to have to compete with the worlds very best, and Divine is exactly that.....the worlds best!!! I am the worlds most famous Transexual and the man who is going to take away Chris Slates ass virginity!!! And as far as a mental advantage goes.....a 5 year old child has a higher mental capcity than Chris Spanks, and as we all know, I would do anything for a victory.....and I do mean ANYTHING!

Rachel Stevens - This Sunday, you will be taking on Chris Slates in a North American Title Match... What can we expect on Sunday that we didn't see here tonight??

Divine - Alot more skin. Since Tuesday Night Heat is not on Pay-Per-View, the viewers at home will not have the pleasure of seeing Divine's goods, but if you tune in on Pay-Per-View this Sunday, you will get to see it all......not to mention me spanking Christopher all over the arena!! I am the sexiest EWA North American champion in history and there is no way that Chris Spanks is going to beat me.....unless I let him. That sounds pretty good doesnt it Chrissy??? I lay down in the center of the ring......you reach down my tights and grab my lightning rod and ride it all the way home. How about it Chris? Are you up for it? I know I am!!!

[Rachel Stevens has a disgusted look on her face. She slowly walks away.]

The Informer - And that can only mean that the newest member of our EWA Family is on his way to ringside. Here comes "The Cornerstone"! We'll be right back!

The Informer - And welcome back to Tuesday Night Heat! And with us now, "The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Thanks a lot, guys. The action tonight is red hot, and non-stop tonight! There are high stakes and it's time for some of the guys to put up or shut up! Let's get to it!

Chris Myers - The next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a #1 Contender match for the Tag Team Titles! First, at a total combined weighing of 505 pounds, from Parts Unknown, Fallen Angel and Havoc, The Seventh Layer!

["F*ck Dying" by Ice Cube blasts through the speakers, as The Seventh Layer step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And there opponents, at a total combined weighing of 476 pounds, Justin Credible and Taz, Triple Threat!

["Survive If I Let You" by Various Artists blasts through the speakers, as Triple Threat step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - Taz and Justin Credible slide into the ring and both Havoc and Fallen Angel lay the boots to their heads!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - The Seventh Layer need this shot at the Tag Titles, or their careers could be in the gutter.

Vic Canon - Double Irish whip to the corners... BIG SPLASH by Fallen Angel! Fists to the head by Havoc!! The Seventh Layer are in controll early in this match!

Eddie Sensation - Who's the legal guys?!

The Informer - It looks to me like Havoc and Taz are... Havoc wraps his hand around Taz's neck.... BIG CHOKESLAM!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Great move by Havoc. The tag team situation is heating up here in the EWA, and the Seventh Layer is in the thick of the fire.

Vic Canon - Havoc goes for the pin... 1.... 2... No! Taz kicks out.

Eddie Sensation - Havoc picks Taz up by the neck, and tags in Fallen Angel. Fallen Angel climbs to the top as Havoc twists Taz's arm... Angel jumps... Double Axe Handle Smash on the arm of Taz!

The Informer - Fallen Angel picks up Taz... and PLANTS him with a DDT! Fallen Angel picks up Taz... He leaves him in the middle of the ring stunned as he bounces off the ropes.... Spinning heel kick!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Nice move.

Vic Canon - He goes for the pin... 1..... 2.... No! Taz gtes out!

Eddie Sensation - Fallen Angel throws Taz to the ropes... Taz ducks a clothesline, he stops and turns around.... BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!

The Informer - Both men are out! Taz needs to make the tag!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Triple Threat have made the jump, from one Extreme to another. From the ECW to the EWA, and they're looking to achieve the same glories they did in the ECW. Make no mistake about it... Taz and Justin Credible can get it done.

Vic Canon - Well, Taz needs to make this tag badly. Fallen Angel tags in Havoc... He runs over and knocks Justin Credible off the apron! Havoc picks up Taz.... VERTICLE SUPLEX! No! Taz gets out and lands behind Havoc.... BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX BY TAZ!! INTO A BRIDGE.... 1..... 2.... OH! JUST OUT!

Eddie Sensation - Havoc gets up quickly. Taz charges at him... SPEAR!

The Informer - Taz is back in this match!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - I'm still wondering who the third threat in the Triple Threat is. It's not Joey, is it?

Vic Canon - If it was Joey, they wouldn't be a "threat" would they?

Eddie Sensation - Taz grabs Havoc... T-BONE SUPLEX! Taz picks up Havoc... OH! LOW BLOW! Justin Credible comes into the ring... The ref goes over to get Credible out of the ring, and The Seventh Layer are both choking and beating on Taz!

The Informer - Havoc scoops up Taz.... THE HAVOC DRIVER! THATS IT! IT'S OVER! 1.... 2....... OH! TAZ KICKED OUT! TAZ KICKED OUT!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Wow... That was impressive.

Vic Canon - Havoc is in shock! He tags in Fallen Angel! Fallen Angel charges at Taz... Taz ducks, Fallen Angel goes straight into the corner! He comes stumbling out... Taz grabs him, INVERTED SUPLEX! Taz crawls over to his corner... AND TAGS IN JUSTIN CREDIBLE!

Eddie Sensation - Fallen Angel tags in Havoc! Justin Credible de-heads Havoc with a clothesline! He gets up, Drop Kick! Fallen Angel holds Justin Credible from behind... Havoc takes a running start.... Credible ducks, CLOTHESLINE!! Havoc just took out his own partner!

The Informer - Taz scoops up Havoc.... Credible is going to the top.... TOMBSTONE BY TAZ!! MOONSAULT BY CREDIBLE!! THE PAIN KILLER!! Wait a minute! Havoc isn't the legal man! Fallen Angel clotheslines Taz over the top, and rolls up Justin Credible.....

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - One.....

Vic Canon - Two......

Eddie Sensation - THREE!!!!!!!!

The Informer - THE SEVENTH LAYER ARE GOING TO HELLACIOUS HALLOWEEN 2!!!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Not the greatest pin, but it got the job done.

Vic Canon - The Seventh Layer are being chased out of the arena by Triple Threat!!

Eddie Sensation - RUN!!! RUN!!!!

The Informer - So, at Hellacious Halloween The Seventh Layer will be taking on Da BJ Boyz in a Tag Team Title Match! That should be interesting!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - What I find more interesting is the next match... I said it last week, I'll say it again. Cody Covington is on his way. The chip that he's carrying on his shoulder, though, is a hinderance, not an asset.

Vic Canon - Lets send it up to Chris Myers, and we might get your answer Dino!

["Lithium" by Nirvana blasts through the speakers, as "Crystal Clear" Cody Covington steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And his opponent, standing 6'3" and weighing in at 260 pounds, from New York, "The Assassin" Dan McClure!

["Born Slippery" by Underworl blasts through the speakers, as "The Assassin" Dan McClure steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - Dan McClure is getting into the ring, Dino, what's your opinion of him?

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - "The Assassin" has taken the low road since arriving here in the EWA. He hasn't said much and you have to wonder what he isn't saying.

Vic Canon - Who knows... Maybe he's shy...

Eddie Sensation - Vic... your setting yourself up....

The Informer - Covington charges at "The Assassin"... McClure nails him with a body slam, and quickly drops an elbow!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - You see what I mean? Dan McClure is a great athlete and he just got the better of Covington. And why? Covington is not taking "The Assassin" seriously.

Vic Canon - "Crystal Clear" gets up... He backs off a bit, then kicks McClure right in the ribs! McClure holds his chest in pain and leans over... DDT by Covington! He goes for the pin... 1..... 2..... No! Too early.

Eddie Sensation - Covington got him with a good one that time!

The Informer - Cody Covington picks up Dan McClure... Neckbreaker! He quickly goes to the top rope... Leg Drop!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Did you see that? Covington is proving me right. He's showing signs of greatness to come.

Vic Canon - He's gotta go for the cover more often! He could get the job done a lot earlier then it normally takes him!

Eddie Sensation - Canon, keep your stupid comments to yourself.... He wins his matches, thats all that matters.

The Informer - Covington misses a clothesline attempt... Dan McClure scoops him up, Samoan Drop! He bounces off the ropes, Leg Drop! He goes for the cover... 1.... 2..... No! CCCC kicks out!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - This is anyone's match...

Vic Canon - McClure picks up Covington... Standing Hurraconranna! McClure picks him up again... Reverse DDT! Nice succession of moves by "The Assassin".

Eddie Sensation - You've got a drity mouth Vic.

The Informer - McClure goes for the cover... 1..... 2..... Covington gets the shoulder up.

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Dan McClure on the attack. He's not letting up either. He knows that if he is to get anywhere in this company, he needs to get past "Clearly Crippling."

Vic Canon - McClure pulls Covington into the middle of the ring... He applies a Figure Four! "Crystal Clear" is holding on... he's dragging himself to the ropes!

Eddie Sensation - No! McClure is bringing him back into the middle of the ring!

The Informer - Covington puts his shoulders down... Fleming quickly counts... 1.... 2.... No. Covington gets off his shoulders.

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Good strategy by McClure.

Vic Canon - Covington is laying on his side.... He's passing out slowly!

Eddie Sensation - McClure is showing no guilt! He's tightening up on the move!

The Informer - Covington gives one last effort towards the ropes, but McClure is too powerful! Covington is getting nowhere fast!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - McClure might upset "Crystal Clear".

Vic Canon - Fleming asks Covington if he gives up, but Cody won't give up! It looks like Covington is out cold! Fleming lifts his arm once... It falls. He lifts it again... down twice!

Eddie Sensation - Umm, McClure just let go of the hold!

The Informer - Yes he did! But why? He's going to the top rope! He jumps... ELBOW DROP!! NO! COVINGTON MOVES!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Stupid mistake. It doesn't look good for McClure.

Vic Canon - Covington picks him up... There's the signal!

Eddie Sensation - Uh oh!

The Informer - He lifts him high in the air.....

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - CLEARLY CRIPPLING! Lee Fleming counts... 1.... 2..... 3!!! A rookie mistake by McClure cost him the match!

Vic Canon - Don't go away ladies and gentlemen, we'll be right back!

Chris Myers - The next match is scheduled for one fall and is a Non-Title Match. First, standing 6'4" and weighing in at 242 pounds, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, The Hustler!

["Walk" by Pantera blasts through the speakers, as The Hustler steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And his opponent, standing 6'4" and weighing in at 268 pounds, from Boston, Massachusettes, he is the EWA Extreme Champion, DMX!

["Big Balls" by AC/DC blasts through the speakers, as the EWA Extreme Champion, DMX steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - DMX slides into the ring...

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - He ducks a clothesline from The Hustler, bounces off the ropes, and knocks down The Hustler with a shoulder tackle!

Vic Canon - The Hustler rolls to the outside...

Eddie Sensation - DMX bounces off the ropes... SUICIDE DIVE TO THE OUTSIDE!

The Informer - DMX picks up The Hustler by the hair, and smashes his head into the announce table here infront of us!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - DMX won't win this match this way... This match isn't Extreme rules!

Vic Canon - DMX throws the Hustler into the ring... The Hustler rolls all the way across the ring out the other side!

Eddie Sensation - Hahaha! What the hell was that?!

The Informer - DMX bounces off the ropes.... Baseball slide to the outside!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - The Hustler throws a handfull of..... flour?? DMX is down!

Vic Canon - The Hustler gets back into the ring... He gets a running start.......

Eddie Sensation - OOOOOOH!!! HOT DAMN!

The Informer - CORKSCREW MOONSAULT OFF THE TOP ROPE!!! WHAT AN AMAZING MOVE BY THE HUSTLER!!!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - No one should underestimate the Hustler. If DMX wants to get past him, he's got to stop talking a big game and start wrestling one. The Hustler is NOT a jobber, and will not lie down.

Vic Canon - Lance King is counting them both out...

Eddie Sensation - Yes! That's what you get for being a psycho!

The Informer - The Hustler gets back into the ring... He pulls DMX in by his hair over the ropes. So Dino, who do you pick for this match?

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Philly's own, The Hustler. I'm going to pick him in this match. He's tough, he knows his wrestling, and he swings like Mark McGuire.

Vic Canon - So I guess that means he's your pick at the PPV also....

Eddie Sensation - Canon, were you born slow?

Vic Canon - Eddie, catch!

[Vic Canon throws Eddie Sensation a left fist to the jaw!]

The Informer - OUCH!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Nice shot there Canon!

Vic Canon - Maybe that'll shut you up.

Eddie Sensation - Oooooow! You son of a bitch!

The Informer - Hey there, watch the language... Well, it's not like we're a G rated program or anything....

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - DMX tried to shock the world last week, but I'm not impressed by a "Hardcore" wrestler beating up a bunch of jobbers.

Vic Canon - Well DMX is getting choked out by The Hustlers boot right now!

Eddie Sensation - Much like what I'll be doing to you soon!

The Informer - The Hustler picks him up... OH!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Nicely executed Full Nelson Overhead Suplex!

Vic Canon - Wait a minute, who's that?!

Eddie Sensation - Thats your mother coming down to pay me for last night!

Vic Canon - Child...

Eddie Sensation - What?!? She's a petefile?!

The Informer - Watch your mouth Eddie! That's Mr. Extreme, and I have no idea why he's coming down here! All I know is that he has a baseball bat in his hand!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Look out... Mr. Extreme is on the apron...

Vic Canon - DUCK!

Eddie Sensation - WHAM! OUCH!

The Informer - MR. EXTREME JUST NAILED THE HUSTLER WITH A BASEBALL BAT TO THE HEAD!! HE'S OUT COLD!! THE REF IS CALLING FOR THE BELL!

Chris Myers - And the winner of this match by disqualification, The Hustler!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Although The Hustler won the match, he's going to want more then a win come this Sunday... He wants that Extreme Title.

Vic Canon - If he makes it to Sunday!

Eddie Sensation - Mr. Extreme and DMX are beating on him with a baseball bat and a chair!!

The Informer - Wait a minute... Who's that?!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - I don't know...

Vic Canon - It's CHAOS!

Eddie Sensation - WHO?!

The Informer - WHAM! CHAOS JUST NAILED MR. EXTREME IN THE HEAD WITH A HOCKEY STICK!! DMX IS RUNNING FOR HIS LIFE!!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - What the hell did Chaos do that for?

Vic Canon - Chaos is helping The Hustler to his feet... They are shaking hands!! Have Chaos and The Hustler formed some kind of alliance?!

Eddie Sensation - Who knows?! Who cares?! Next is Zed vs. Starshot! Don't change the channel, or Vic Canon will come to your house and force sex on you!!!!

["Bad Magic" by Godsmack blasts through the speakers, as Damian Starshot steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And his opponent, standing 6'5" and weighing in at 270 pounds, from Chicago, Illinois, Zed!

["Unforgiven" by Metallica blasts through the speakers, as Zed steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - Zed gets into the ring... Starshot flys at him with a spinning heel kick and connects! Zed quickly gets up... Starshot attempts a cross body... Zed catches him! Fallaway Slam!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Zed is doing the right thing. He's focusing on the match at hand. He's putting the past in the past, and that is the only way he'll get through the tenacious cruiserweight.

Vic Canon - Zed applies a Texas Cloverleaf on Damian Starshot! Smart move by Zed! He's going for the legs!

Eddie Sensation - Damian Starshot is already at the ropes! Zed releases the hold!

The Informer - Zed picks up Starshot... He lifts him high in the air.... BRIANBUSTER! He goes for the cover... 1.... 2.... No! Kickout by Damian Starshot.

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Damian Starshot, as he's called now, has an uphill battle to climb this week. He is determined to get the clean pin over Zed. I've always said that a name change and new ring attire equals a new attitude.

Vic Canon - Zed applies a headlock on Starshot and squeezes down on it! Starshot whips him to the ropes...

Eddie Sensation - Shoulder Tackle! Hahaha! Zed nailed him!

The Informer - Zed climbs to the middle rope... Starshot is getting up... MOONSAULT OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE BY ZED!!!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - WAIT! Starshot reverses it into a Facebuster! AMAZING move by Starshot!

Vic Canon - Damian Starshot quickly goes to the top rope... LOOK OUT!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - SENTON BOMB!!! Starshot picks him back up, and puts him on the top rope! Damian Starshot climbs up to the top....... OOOOH SHIT!!!

The Informer - Corkscrew Hurraconrana!!!! WHAT A MOVE! HE GOES FOR THE PIN... 1........ 2...... NO!! Zed kicked out!!!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Look at Starshot go! That guy is firing on all cylinders right now. Let's see how he capitalizes.

Vic Canon - Starshot picks up Zed... It looks like he's going for a Powerbomb!! He lifts Zed... but Zed shakes loose! Starshot turns around... Discus Punch right to the jaw of Starshot!!!

Eddie Sensation - Nice shot!

The Informer - Zed picks up Starshot and throws him over the top rope!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Starshot is looking to prove that size doesn't matter. But it could be that Zed's attitude is bigger than the kid's heart.

Vic Canon - Zed follows him to the outside... He throws Starshot into the tiem keepers table! Lee Fleming is yelling at Zed to get back into the ring!

Eddie Sensation - Zed picks up Starshot...

The Informer - LOOK OUT! Right into our table!! Dino, can you hear me??

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Yeah, I'm still here.

The Informer - Canon?!

Vic Canon - I can hear ya!

The Informer - Zed throws Starshot into the ring....

Eddie Sensation - HEY! You don't ask me if I'm still here?!

The Informer - Your opinion isn't neede... Theirs are!

Eddie Sensation - Really?!?! Ok... I get it....

The Informer - Zed is letting out all his anger for last week's loss on Starshot!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - I might have been wrong about Zed's place in this federation. Instead of getting over that loss to Damian Starshot, he's let it get to him. If he loses this week, he's got no excuses, and THAT is "Written in Stone!"

Vic Canon - Who knows Dino, Starshot could get the 3 out of nowhere!

Eddie Sensation - *whistling*

The Informer - Zed is putting Damian Starshot up on the top rope!! What's he going to do?!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Oh shit... It looks like Zed is telling us to move, as if he were going to powerbomb Starshot threw our table!

Vic Canon - He better not! He'll kill the guy!

Eddie Sensation - *singing*

The Informer - What I'm afraid of is if Zed has the balls to do it, he will... Because he could lift Starshot easily!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - What Zed has to realize is that Starshot is not his caliber. Yeah, Starshot got a count out win last week, but Zed has to realize that he has Deuce and Thorn to look forward to and they are NOT cruiserweights.

Vic Canon - Zed lifts Starshot... No! Starshot locks his legs around Zed's head... He twists around him, and stands behind him on the top rope!

Eddie Sensation - *still whistling*

The Informer - Zed turns around, Starshot kicks him square in the NUTS!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - OUCH!

Vic Canon - Starshot turns Zed around on the top rope... He hooks him, OH GOD LOOK OUT!!!!!!

[The announce team move out of the way just in time for Starshot to nail his Top-Rope Double-Underhook Suplex threw the table.]

Eddie Sensation - HOLY SHIT!! WHAT WAS THAT!!!

The Informer - STARSHOT AND ZED JUST CAME CRASHING THROUGH THE TABLE!!! WHAT AMAZING STRENGTH FROM STARSHOT!!!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Hey Zed... Starshot... You guys better get up! Fleming is counting you out! He's already at 3!!!

Vic Canon - ARE THEY ALIVE?!

Eddie Sensation - I DON'T THINK SO!

The Informer - Starshot is bleeding from his head, and Zed has a TV ontop of his face... I can't see if he's concious or not! Fleming is at 7!! This match is going to end in a double countout unless these guys get up!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Let me tell you something, THEY'RE NOT GETTING UP. And probably won't untill an amubluance comes down here....

[Ding Ding Ding!!]

Chris Myers - Ladies and Gentlemen, the result of this match is a Double Countout!

Vic Canon - DAMN! WHAT A MATCH! IT'S A SHAME IT ENDED LIKE THIS!

Eddie Sensation - Hey check this out!

The Informer - STOP POKING STARSHOT WITH YOUR CHAIR!!

Eddie Sensation - Hahhaha! This is fun!

Vic Canon - It's not a laughing matter you moron!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - You see what happens when they try and get Extreme?? If I got my hands on the guy who came up with this useless and dangerous type of match, I'll kill him.

Vic Canon - Well, as we try and clean up this mess, Lets take you backstage to Rachel Stevens. Rachel??

Deuce - Who's comments? Oh Zeddy Pooz, well I have just about one thing to say to Zed.... SHOVE IT!!! Zed, I am better than you and I deserve this shot... I don't care what you think.

Rachel Stevens - Do you think that Zed is misjudging your talent, and is taking you too lightly??

Deuce - You know Sizzlechest.... I have always been misjudged and over looked and not taken seriously.... but to all those people that don't think that Deuce has what it takes to become champion.... watch and learn.

Rachel Stevens - At the same time, are you taking Thorn too lightly??

Deuce - I don't take any opponent lightly... I set my sights on one thing when I step into the ring with an opponent... total domination. Of the match, of my opponent of the whole situation.

Rachel Stevens - For you to be able to acheive your dream of becoming the EWA Heavyweight Champion, do you realize that you have to go through Thorn and then Zed, 2 extremely talented wrestlers, in less then 5 days?? And can you imagine what a loss to one of these wrestlers could do to your career??

Deuce - One loss to either of these guys? Just another L in the ol' record book if you ask he..... but now I ask you..... what does it do to lose against the Bigg Daddy?? INSTANT STARDOM.

Thorn - Well, Rob you can't honestly think that Deuce doesn't have some stoner friend following me around trying to run up behind me and whack me with a crow-bar or something. I know that somehow, someway Deuce has been watching me and my every move. Either way, it's not going to matter cause he may have heard of what I can do, but he has never face-to-face with me and he doesn't know what pain I can dish out. But when its time for our match, he will know that I can bring a full bag of pain, and use that how thing on his useless ass. So he won't know anything about me until he steps into that ring and the time comes for him to show his worth.

Rob DiMarco - What will your future look like if you lose tonight??

Thorn - That's the stupid question I've EVER heard, but the main point is that you don't even need to ask me that. Lose to Deuce? I think not, the only way I lose to Deuce is if some of his stoner friends from Danger Inc. come in and screw over the match. But I'll humor you, tonight, if I do actually lose, then that might very well be the last time you see Thorn in the EWA, probably not forever, but it means that I have alot of working out to do.

Rob DiMarco - How do you respond to Zed's comments about you not being a wrothy contender here tonight??

Thorn - That's a shot to the gut right there. Zed and I went through alot and every since we kinda lost each other, he's been kinda bitter about it. But if he wants to feel that way, more power to him. Cause if he thinks that I'm not worthy and he takes me too lightly, I'm going to sneak up on him so fast, he won't know what hit him. But in a way, I don't think I'm a worthy enough contender too, because lately I've came down with a bug I like to call J-itis, but enough of that, I've also been very busy with other things that I've gotten so used to doing during the off-season of the EWA. I mean now I've gotten used to a life out of wrestling, I have a fiance, alot of friends that I hang out with, and I've become very fond of sitting around and just living life without doing a thing. So the only time I've been able to show up is when I HAVE to show up, which is basically every Tuesday, but I'll come around more and more soon enough.

Rob DiMarco - Is your Hostile Youth 2K alliance with Zed going to get in the way if there is a future match between you two??

Thorn - Alliance?

Rob DiMarco - ..... At this moment in time, you are the EWA International Champion.... Are you prepared to step it up to the next level??

Thorn - Prepared for the next level? When I first came back to this fed I was prepared for the next level. I've been waiting my turn and soon enough, I WILL BE the next level. You all watch out cause I'm coming around the corner, taking the next step in the ladder, whatever, but I'm going to be on top of the EWA soon enough and then I will finally get recognized for my ability and I will be known as the EWA Heavyweight Champion, people have recognized me for shit lately and people just don't realize that I am Thorn, and that I am one of the best wrestlers if not the best wrestler in the EWA today.

Chris Myers - Ladies and Gentlemen... The next match is the MAIN EVENT! It is scheduled for one fall, and will determine who goes to Hellacious Halloween 2 as the #1 Contender to take on Zed! First, standing 6'9" and weighing in at 310 pounds, from New Orleans, one half of Danger Inc, Deuce!

["When Worlds Collide" by Powerman 5000 blasts through the speakers, as Deuce steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And his opponent, standing 6'2" and weighing in at 219 pounds, from Sacramento, California, he is the EWA International Champion, Thorn!

["EdgeCrusher" by Fear Factory blasts through the speakers, as The EWA International Champion, Thorn steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - Now that all the smoke, music and pyro has come to an end... it's time for us to figure out who will be going to Hellacious Halloween as the second number 1 contender to the vacant EWA Heavyweight title belt. I'm sure Zed is in the back somewhere watching this as we speak!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Watching and waiting, Informer. Zed probably has a bnch of butterflies in his stomach as he waits for a decision to be rendered.

Vic Canon - Gentlemen, the warriors are in the ring ready to do battle. I say let the games begin!

Eddie Sensation - I doubt they're gonna start wrestling just because little ol' Vic Canon said it was time... HA! But I say let's take it to the ring anyway!

The Informer - Would you look at this! Right in the centre of the ring... we have DEUCE and THORN both locked in a staredown. Neither man blinking... Neighter man flinching.

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - LISTEN TO THIS CROWD!

Vic Canon - OH! OH....

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAHA!!! BIGG DADDY DEUCE JUST HORKED A BIGG DADDY LOOGIE RIGHT IN THORNS FACE! OH MY GOODNESS!! THORN IS RUNNING INTO DEUCE.... AND DEUCE IS BACKING INTO THE CORNER, TIED UP IN THE ROPES BEHIND REFEREE LANCE KING!!

The Informer - Trust me. Deuce is playing a smart game. He's not actually scared of Thorn. He just wants to get Thorn pissed off and frustrated.

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - No doubt about that, Informer. In the ring, Deuce gets on your nerves, and he loves it. I've experienced the feeling, and it is nothing but frustrating and annoying!

Vic Canon - With both men back in the middle of the ring, we finally get a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Both these stalions are struggling for control... and Deuce shoves Thorn on his butt!

Eddie Sensation - HA HA! That a boy, Bigg Daddy! Make this punk pay!

The Informer - You know what just came to my mind? Deuce really has everything to gain, and nothing to lose in this contest. If he wins, not only will he go to the PPV and wrestler for the Heavyweight title, but you'd have to consider him the number 1 contender for the International belt also!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Good point, Informer. And I'm sure Deuce knows that he needs this win!

Vic Canon - Thorn quickly gets back to his feet as Deuce is gloating. Thorn quickly sprints at Deuce, AND NAILS HIM WITH A HUGE SHOULDER TACKLE WHICH SENDS DEUCE TO THE OUTSIDE!! MY OH MY, WHAT IMPACT THERE BY THORN!!

Eddie Sensation - Thorn runs to the opposite ropes... springs back in Deuce direction... OH MY GOODNESS!! THRON JUST WENT AIRBORN OVER THE ROPES, TO THE OUTSIDE WITH A MAGNIFICENT FLYING CROSS-BODY!! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN, BUT DEUCE GOT THE WORSE END OF THAT MOVE!!

The Informer - In just seconds, Thorn has turned this thing around!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Thorn is a man alone. Hostile Youth 2K haven't made the explosion that we expected. But Thorn has a chance to pick up the pieces and become a man tonight.

Vic Canon - Thorn picks up Bigg Daddy Deuce and shoves him back into the ring. What's next?

Eddie Sensation - Thorn whips Deuce to the ropes... Deuce ducks the clothesline and continues running...

The Informer - Thorn attempts a leap-frog... UH OH! HE GOT CAUGHT!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - WOW! WHAT AN IMPRESSIVE FEAT OF STRENGTH!! DEUCE HAS THORN UP OVER HIS HEAD IN A GORILLA PRESS!! AND SENDS HIM CRASHING DOWN TO THE MAT!!

Vic Canon - DAMN!! YOU COULD FEEL THAT IMPACT ALL THE WAY IN TORONTO WHERE WE'LL BE FOR HELLACIOUS HALLOWEEN THIS SUNDAY!! THORN IS IN PAIN!! HE MAY HAVE PULLED A MUSCLE!!

Eddie Sensation - Wouldn't that be fantastic? As much as I'd love to see Zed and Thorn beat each other's brains out, I KNOW Bigg Daddy Deuce deserves the championship!

The Informer - I really hope Thorn is ok!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - All history aside... just put all the bad blood on the backburner... and look at what is in the ring. I've faced this man more than once, and it wasn't easy either time. Bigg Daddy Deuce is, and I don't say this lightly, he IS the next EWA World Champion.

Vic Canon - That still has to be proven this Sunday! But right now, Deuce has Thorn in position.... OUCH! WHAT A HUGE DDT!! THIS COULD BE IT!!

Eddie Sensation - Deuce goes for the cover... 1... 2... no deal on that one! Too bad!

The Informer - It takes a lot of courage for Thorn to kick out of a huge move like that... especially when he knows that there are more vicious moves coming!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Thorn is in trouble. When I found myself in trouble, the MVP was always there to bail me out, and unfortunately for Thorn, his friends are all gone.

Vic Canon - Deuce tosses Thorn into the corner.... HUGE AVALAUNCH!! UNBELIEVEABLE!!

Eddie Sensation - Man! Thorn went down on the mat faster than Rachel Stevens went down on...

The Informer - HEY HEY HEY! NONE OF THAT!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Sensation, you're pure jokes. But this match isn't a laughing matter. This match is gonna decide a lot of stuff in the future.

Vic Canon - For the last 5 mintes, this match has been all Deuce. Bigg Daddy brings Thorn to his feet, and it looks like he's gonna attempt a verticle suplex.

Eddie Sensation - NO! THORN GETS OUT OF THE SUPLEX... WHAM!! REVERSE DDT BY THORN!! THAT WAS A DESPERATION MOVE, BUT IT WORKED!

The Informer - Oh no! Not only did Thorn take Deuce out with that move, but he took out the referee too!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - This is it! This is the point in the match when the Champions are decided! This is the turning point that only one of them will come away from.

Vic Canon - Even though Thorn executed the last move, it looks like deuce will be the first one to his feet! WAIT!! WAIT A MINUTE!! LOOK WHO'S COMING OUR WAY... I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!

Eddie Sensation - HEY!! IT'S SOULSTORM!! AND HE'S GOT A 2 X 4 IN HIS HANDS!! HE'S COMING INTO THE RING!!! BAAA-BOOOM!!! SOULSTORM JUST TOOK DEUCE'S HEAD OFF WITH THAT PIECE OF LUMBER!!

The Informer - Actually, I think it was Spruce, not lumber... BUT WHO GIVES A DAMN!! WHAT IS SOULSTORM DOING IN THE EWA??

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Unbelieveable! This guy, we're told, had a huge past in the now defucnt FCA. He's someone you don't wanna mess with, no doubt about it! He's heading to the back, and Referee Lance King is still out! This could be Thorn's lucky day... but, somehow I doubt it!

Vic Canon - All 3 men are down, and the only one showing signs of life is Thorn! He's back up to his knees, but he's still dazed!

Eddie Sensation - Thorn is up! This one will be over soon after he hits his next big move!! NO! NO! WAIT A DAMN SECOND!!

The Informer - NOW HERE COMES LEROY!! I BET YOU HE'S COMING FOR DEUCE AGAIN! BUT WHY HAS LEROY PIN-POINTED DEUCE??

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - INFORMER, GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT!! LEROY JUST ATTACKED THORN!!

Vic Canon - Leroy is Sir Psycho Sexy's bodygurd, so you have to believe Sexy has something to do with this! Leroy just tossed Thorn to the ropes.... OH DAMN!! THE MOVING TARGET EXECUTED BY LEROY!! JESUS CHRIST, HE JUST KILLED THORN!! And now, as fast as he came in... he's on his way out!

Eddie Sensation - Guys, Lance King is getting up. And he's starting his count... 1... 2...

The Informer - What a travesty of justice, it can't end like this! ... 3... 4...

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - I really doubt any of these guys are gonna make the count... they both look dead!!

Vic Canon - 5... 6... NO! NO! GET UP GUYS, GET UP!

Eddie Sensation - This is total confusion! Why the attacks? What will this do to the PPV? ... 7... 8...

The Informer - I have no clue, Sensation, but it can't be good! ...... 9......

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - .....10!! IT"S OVER! BOTH MEN HAVE BEEN COUNTED DOWN, AND THIS MATCH IS A DRAW!

Chris Myers - Ladies and Gentlemen, the result of this match is a double count-out!

Eddie Sensation - Aww, listen to these fans boo! I can't blame them!

The Informer - But, this is our last event before Hellacious Halloween 2! Who is the number one contender? Who will face Zed for the vacant belt???

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - The EWA is gonna have to do a lot of scrambling over he next few days. I'm sure they'll have an announcement on the EWA web site in 48 hours!

Vic Canon - This was wrong! I can't believe it!

Eddie Sensation - Tell me about it dude! I wanted to see this thing go on to declare a true winner!

The Informer - Well fans, like Dino Delsante said... I'm sure there will be some sort of official announcement on this matter, on the EWA page within 48 hours. Folks, from Buffalo, we say so lo..... wait! THAT'S THE EWA THEME MUSIC!! It... It's Tom Stone! MAYBE WE WON'T HAVE TO WAIT FOR AN ANNOUNCEMENT!!

Tom Stone - Last week, I came out here and signed this match between Deuce and Thorn because I felt that they needed to be given a chance... I figured that they paid their dues, and it was time for them to get their chance and the Heavyweight Title... Instead of being thanked by Zed for giving him a Heavyweight Title Match at Hellacious Halloween, I get shit on. I get yelled and screamed at, and harassed because "Deuce and Thorn suck... They're not good enough for me". Well Zed, you're not so good yourself are you?? You just double counted out with Starshot! Why should I give you a title match at the Pay Per View??

[The crowd cheers in agreement.]

Tom Stone - Deuce... Thorn..... the same goes for you two! Double countout?! NONE OF YOU DESERVE A TITLE MATCH AT THE PAY PER VIEW!!!!!

[The crowd is silent, in fear of their life if they interupt Stone while he's talking.]

Tom Stone - So, here's what I'm going to do.... All three of you will have a match at the Pay Per View... But, it won't be for the Heavyweight Title! You will all have to win a match at the Pay Per View to be entered in the main event! So, lets think of some matches..... Hmmmm... Deuce! You and Da BJ Boyz are having a rough time... Can you beat the streak that Adam Kress has? We'll find out this Sunday, because you and Adam Kress will be getting it on! Hey Thorn! Mr. Nobody is good enough to beat me for the International Title! How about this?? This Sunday, International Title on the line, you Thorn will be taking on "Crystal Clear" Cody Covington!! Lets see if you can beat him, and retain your gold! And my favourite! Zed!!! Mr. Nobody is good enough to fight me but I still haven't won a match since the EWA's return!! Zed, you will be taking on your favourite opponent... The guy who gave you your 2 losses already... NONE OTHER THEN DAMIAN STARSHOT!

[The crowd goes wild.]

Tom Stone - So boys, if you can win your match at the Pay Per View, you will wrestle in the Main Event for the Heavyweight Title! If not, consider yourself not in the main event. I hope you enjoyed the show... Have a good night!

The Informer - WOW! WHAT AN ANNOUNCEMENT! DEUCE WILL BE TAKING ON ADAM KRESS, THORN WILL BE TAKING ON CODY COVINGTON, AND ZED WILL BE TAKING ON DAMIAN STARSHOT ALL AT HELLACIOUS HALLOWEEN 2 THIS SUNDAY!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - And if they don't win their match, they won't be in the main event! These guys have a lot of training ahead of them!

Vic Canon - THANK YOU FOR JOINING US!! SEE YOU THIS SUNDAY AT HELLACIOUS HALLOWEEN 2!!!!!