EWA - Tuesday Night Heat Results

EWA Tuesday Night Heat Results For August 3rd, 1999, Hosted By Tom Stone & The EWA Informer.

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Hell In A Cell First Blood Match: Curv vs. BlackOut.
Flaming Graveyard Brawl: Team Woof vs. The D-Generation Nation.
Unescapable Abyss Match: Mr. Extreme vs. K-Dogg.
Big Daddy Hack vs. Justin Credible.
No Interferance All Around The World Barbed Wire Hell Death Match: The Wildman vs. Sandman.

Match #1: Hell In A Cell First Blood Match
Curv vs. BlackOut.

10:34 Into The Match...

The Informer - Curv is grinding BlackOut's head on the cage!!

Tom Stone - Good!! Rip his eye's out!!!

The Informer - Sounds like a good meal!!

Tom Stone - Only immigrants like you eat eyes and shit like that...

The Informer - Sorry, but I'm not an immigrant.

Tom Stone - Unfortunatly, I can't deport you.

The Informer - Yeah... Curv has BlackOut high in the air.... NO REMORSE!!!! He can't win like that, its First Blood!!!

Tom Stone - Duh!!!

The Informer - Curv jumps on BlackOut... He's trying to bite him!! This guy is sick!!! Curv goes under the ring... He grabs a chair. Curv sets up the chair in the middle of the ring, and lifts BlackOut to his feet. Curv lifts him up...... NO REMORSE ONTO THE CHAIR!! BLACKOUT IS BUSTED OPEN!! CURV WINS!!

[Curv won the match in 16 minutes and 31 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, Curv!!

Match #2: Flaming Graveyard Brawl
Team Woof vs. The D-Generation Nation.

14:58 Into The Match...

The Informer - To win this match you have to put your opponent into that hole over there and shut the lid!!

Tom Stone - Some f*cking GENIUS thought that one up... Damn retarded people...

The Informer - Yeah, I know... Big Kev grabs a shovel... WHAM!!! He nails D'Lo in the head!! Big Kev tries to push D'Lo into the hole, but D'Lo isn't going in easily!!!

Tom Stone - What a dumbass... How often does someone win like that?!

The Informer - Never.

Tom Stone - Exactly.... Some people shouldn't be allowed to live.

The Informer - Yeah, people like you!! Little J charges at D'Lo, Little splash!!! Big Kev runs in.... BIG SPLASH on D'Lo!! Little J runs at X-Pac, Little Splash!! Big Kev runs in, BIG SPLASH!!! Team Woof rolls both D'Lo and X-Pac into the hole... AND CLOSE THE LID!!!

[Team Woof won the match in 21 minutes and 33 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Here are your winners, Team Woof!!

Match #3: Unescapable Abyss Match
Mr. Extreme vs. K-Dogg.

18:44 Into The Match...

The Informer - Mr. Extreme and K-Dogg have given it their all in this match!!

Tom Stone - K-Mart AGAIN?!?! Damn man, this guy is EVERYWHERE!! Can someone PLEASE put him out of buisness?!

The Informer - Mr. Extreme might do it here, tonight!!

Tom Stone - *weird look*... Dude, you're fucked up.

The Informer - Only cause I'm sitting beside you!!

Tom Stone - No... You're like that all the time!!

The Informer - Uhhh, No... Sorry

Tom Stone - Then what the hell was that video of Thorn taking a shower doing in your briefcase?!?!

The Informer - FUCK YOU, YOU SICK FAG!!! HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET INTO MY BREIFCASE?!?!

Tom Stone - HHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

The Informer - Mr. Extreme scoops up K-Dogg, Powerslam!! The door is open... Mr. Extreme goes for a kick to the stomach, K-Dogg sidesteps it... Oh!! K-Dogg fell into the hole!! Mr. Extreme wins!! What a dumb mistake by K-Dogg!!

[Mr. Extreme won the match in 26 minutes and 11 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, Mr. Extreme!!

Match #4: One On One Match
Big Daddy Hack vs. Justin Credible.

21:07 Into The Match...

The Informer - Ummmm... To all you people out their in TV land, I've just been informed that Curv has been savagly assaulted and is on his way to the hospital... He is in critical condition and the only sign of the attacker was a note, writen in blood that said "I told you so...".... This is pretty messed up.

Tom Stone - WHAT?! That's it, that so called "Security Crew" are ALL FIRED!!!

The Informer - What's wrong Stone, you got a soft spot for Curv?!

Tom Stone - Hell No!!! Think about it dickhead, bloody notes... "I told you so"??? Thats Serial Killer shit!! That's nuts!!

The Informer - Oh, I guss you're right. Big Daddy Hack tosses Justin Credible off the top!! He drops a leg, and goes for the pin... 1.... 2..... No!! Kickout!! Big Daddy Hack picks up Justin Credible... Short Clothesli--No!! Justin Credible ducks it.... THATS INCREDIBLE!!!!

Tom Stone - What is?!

The Informer - Thats his finisher name dumbass!!

Tom Stone - Uhhhhhhh, this guy is pretty dumb then.

The Informer - I'd like to see you in the ring with him!! He goes for the pin... 1...... 2..... NO!!! BIG DADDY HACK KICKED OUT!!! Justin Credible can't beleive it!! Credible picks up Big Daddy Hack... He throws him to the ropes, Spinebreake---NO!! Big Daddy Hack reverses it in mid-air... HACKNIFE!!!! THAT WAS AMAZING!!! A REVERSED SPINEBUSTER INTO A HACKNIFE IN MID AIR!!! Mike Hunter counts, 1...... 2..... 3!!!!

[Big Daddy Hack won the match in 28 minutes and 34 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, Big Daddy Hack!!

Match #5: No Interferance All Around The World Barbed Wire Hell Death Match
The Wildman vs. Sandman.

26:00 Into The Match...

The Informer - Well Ladies and Gentlemen, we're now in the 3rd stage of this match, with The Wildman taking the first win, then Sandman, and now we're in a Parking Lo--BANG!!! OH MAN!! Sandman just got whipped into the dumpster and it went kaboom!!

Tom Stone - Good, he's got a heavy salary... One I wouldn't mind getting rid of...

The Informer - Damn, you're fucked up.

Tom Stone - Dude, he's getting A LOT of money man!! I could buy another casino with that kind of cash!!!

The Informer - Oh please!!! 4 or 5 food stamps won't get you anywhere!!!

Tom Stone - Only people like you get paid in food stamps!!!

The Informer - That's nice to know!!! Sandman comes walking out stunned from that explosion... The Wildman rolls him up..... 1...... 2...... 3!!!! We're going to the last match area!!

Tom Stone - Good, I'm getting tired!!!

The Informer - Now these guys are going to have a Barbed-Wire Ladder Match.... but what the hell is a ladder gonna do for you?! They both get into the ring... Sandman lays on the mat in pain, as The Wildman climbs to the top of the ladder and waits on top... Sandman gets to his feet, The Wildman jumps....... WHAM!!!! One Hit Wonder!!!! SANDMAN NAILED IT!!! He goes for the pin, 1..... 2......... 3!!!!!!!

[Sandman won the match in 34 minutes and 51 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, Sandman!!

The following is completly OOC...

Well guys, The reason there are only 5 matches is because I had no other matches!! Nobody sent anything in, and it really pisses me off. This is RIGHT after a PPV... There should be LOTS of interview forms and matches coming in for new angles, but I've gotten SHIT ALL. This is 2 straight nights of me putting the cards up on time, or even early. I'm trying so damn hard to get back into the groove of how it used to be before, but nobody is making it any easier. I've REALLY considered closing this for several reasons, and this time it won't re-open. I get NOTHING out of this fed, sometimes I wonder why I waste the majority of my time on this fed if nobody gives a damn... I'm really disappointed, so you guys better get your acts together or its bye bye EWA!! Do you give a damn about the EWA??? Now's the time for me to find out...

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