EWA Tuesday Night Heat Results For June 22nd, 1999, Hosted By Tom Stone & The EWA Informer.
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� Chandler (w/ Mike Extreme and Tom Stone) Interview.
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The Informer - Welcome to Tuesday Night Heat Everyone. Tonight we are live for 2 solid hours. Fans, last Sunday at Global Threat, we saw the line being drawn in the sand. And tonight, we will give you answers. Chandler is here, Mike Extreme is here, Tom Stone is here, the old school is represented. Practily EVERY member of the EWA is here tonight. You notice Tom Stone isn't here with me at ringside, in fact, i haven't seen him all day. I've heard he's here, so fireworks are going to go off, right here tonight.
[Suddenly the lights in the arena go pitch black. A set of 5 large blacklight pyrobombs go off instantaniously and "Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against The Machine comes on over the PA system. Alone spotlight shines on the entranceway where Chandler, Mike Extreme, and Tom Stone are being driven into the ring on top of a jet black flatbed truck. They all have jeans and "Mid-Card 1:23" shirts on. The truck eases up to the ring where the three men hop off and get into the ring (this is one badass entrance right here). They go to 3 seperate corners and climb the ropes, throwing their hands in the air. Some older fans in the crowd cheer, some boo, and some just sit there. Chandler pulls a mic out of his back pocket]
Chandler - Hahaha, shocked?
[Fans pop and cheer. Fights start to break out in the audience between older and younger fans]
Chandler - You should be. You know folks, there comes a time when you just have to put pety fueds aside and focus on the bigger picture. And in the state of the EWA right now is simple. The lower tier of talent wants to step it up. They want to make it to the top of the ladder. Now, under normal circumstances that's fine, it's called competition. But in the wrestling world, you can't just "go up the ladder," you have to earn your spot on top. As I've said before, you can't ask for anything, you take it. What we did at Global Threat was a wake-up call to the younger talent. SHUT THE HELL UP!!! Quit you're whinin' and quit your bitchin and come in the fuckin ring and do something. Now Mikey, come here. You shocked the world last night when you came back.
Mike Extreme - That was my idea
Chandler - Bringin the barbed-wire bat in was brilliant by the way.
Mike Extreme - Ha, yeah it was.
Chandler: Man, me and you, we're like Thelma and Louise, Spick and Span, Arm and Hammer...
Mike Extreme - Umm, hello
Chandler - Oh yeah, anyway. Now, we don't have matches tonight. But that doesn't mean we can't have our presense felt. So Tom, come here man. Now TS, what would you say if i asked you if me and Mikey here could do a little referring tonight?
Tom Stone - Hey, I'm the president of the company. You want it, you got it.
Chandler - Great, great. Okay, so howabout we have me ref Blackout/Divine? How about that?
Tom Stone - Sounds good to me.
Chandler - True, but you know, sometimes in these extremely important North American title matches, yeah right, things get a little out of hand, so i don't think one ref can be enough. How about, me AND Mikey here ref the match?
Tom Stone - I think that's fair. Sure.
Chandler - Nice, nice. Now, one more thing...
[Suddenly lightning quick fireballs shoot from the arena ceiling to the EWA Big Screen, where the Brink is seen ziplining down to the ring. He leaps off and lands on his feet right next to Chandler. He's wearing the same attire as the rest of the group. He pulls a mic out of his pocket]
The Brink - Hey guys.
Chandler - Hey man, damn, that was an entrance. I think you jacked that shit from Death Row though.
The Brink - Aw nah man, although, Death Row can suck DEEEEEZ NUTZ. Now, why the hell couldn't you dudes wait a second for me? I mean, you come out here by yourselves, making people think i'm dead or something.
Chandler - Well, I figured we come out first, you get the big fancy entrance, it all evens out.
The Brink - True, oh well. I hear y'all talking about matches and stipulations and shit, well, I've got a match tonight, how come I don't get a special ref?
Chandler - Well, dude, you're fighting Viruz.If you need help for that shit your pathetic man.
The Brink - Hey shut up, haha, i knew that. Where the hell is Nomad anyway?
Chandler - Good question. You seen him?
The Brink - Nah man, not since the ppv. He's probably up in his cardboard box wankin his ass off.
Chandler - Damn, cardboard wankin, that's a new one.
[This reminds a lot of people of HHH and HBK's antics in heel DX so much it's actually scary]
Chandler - Now, we can't talk about cardboard boxes without talking about Tom Stone. So Tom, how about you finish up this little interview?
Tom Stone - Gladly. IF YOU WANT TO LIVE IN A CARDBOARD BOX HOME.... HAVE THE BALLS TO MESS WITH, no, not just me, HAVE THE BALLS TO MESS WITH THE OLD SCHOOL!!!!
Chandler - So there you have it, tonight me and Mikey here are gonna ref the North American Title Match, and The Brink gets to kick some jobber ass.
The Brink - I sure do.
Chandler - Do the honors my friend...
The Brink - HIT THE FUCKIN MUSIC!!!!
["Whatever" comes on and the 4 men exit the ring. Once they get to the EWA Big Screen, they turn around and give the fans in attendance a bigass quandruple california howdy and exit the arena]
The Informer - Steriotypes, Tom Stone is a pro at it.... Crazy Wild Man sets him up, WHAM!!! Egg Plant Surprise!!!! He goes for the cover.... Mike Hunter counts, 1... 2.... 3!!! Headhunter 1 rolls into the ring, Egg Plant Surprise!!!! Mike Hunter counts again, 1... 2.... 3!!!!
[Crazy Wild Man won the match in 7 minutes and 44 seconds.]
Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, Crazy Wild Man!!
Tom Stone - These are my boys!! They're my pick to beat all those young punks in that Tag Title Tournament...
The Informer - Umm, aren't they young??
Tom Stone - SHUT UP.
The Informer - G-SPOT!!! NUTZ UP ON YA!!! Both men NAILED their finishers at the same time... Look's like they're setting up for thier signature move... Crimson Tide goes to the top, Climax throws Headhunter 1 out of the ring. Climax lifts Headhunter 2 up to the top rope... Crimson Tide lifts him...... DVDA!!!!!!! WHAT A MOVE!!! They're going for the cover!! Mike Hunter counts, 1.... 2..... 3!!!!!
[The Dungeon Masters won the match in 9 minutes and 2 seconds.]
Johnny Bones - Here are your winners, The Dungeon Masters!!
The Informer - I'd have to say your ego....
Tom Stone - Well FUCK YOU!!!
The Informer - Straight back at ya! Big Dunda jumps off the top rope.... Elbow drop!! He goes for the cover... 1..... 2..... Kickout!! Big Dunda goes to the outside... He's climbing the cage!!
Tom Stone - DONT DO THAT!! YOUR GOING TO BREAK MY CAGE!!!!
The Informer - He could get hurt doing this, and your worried about the cage??? Big Dunda is right above The Tongan... Tongan gets up, Big Dunda releases the cage..... WHAM!!!! Neckbreaker from the top of the cage!!!! Big Dunda picks up The Tongan, He lifts him.... DUNDA DROP!!! Mike Hunter counts... 1..... 2..... 3!!!
[Big Dunda won the match in 11 minutes and 57 seconds.]
Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, Big Dunda!!
Tom Stone - I hope that loser falls!
The Informer - Mr. X is up... He grabs Zed by the leg and starts pulling!! Zed jumps off the ladder....... UNFORGIVEN!!!!
Tom Stone - What a gay move.
The Informer - Zed climbs up the ladder... He grabs the Cattle Prod!!! He gets off the ladder..... ZAP!!!! ZED WINS!
[Zed won the match in 22 minutes and 56 seconds.]
Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, Zed!!
Tom Stone - Of course!! It's The Brink!!! The Brink climbs up to the second turn buckle. Short elbow drop right across the throat! Brink off the the ropes. Aggressive elbow drop right to the sternum. What's this??
The Informer - He's going old school!!!!! RUGGED RONNY GARVIN STOMPS!!!! OH MY!!! The Brink is stompin a mudhole in him and walkin him dry. This is embarassing.
Tom Stone - Here it comes... Inverted Boston Crab... But Viruz powers out of it. The Brink... kick to the stomach. Gutwrench suplex.
The Informer - No offense from Viruz at all here. The Brink is waiting in a corner... Just waiting for Viruz to stand up... I think we all know whats coming now...
Tom Stone - Viruz..... your about... to take.... the.... PLUUUUUUUUNNNGGGEEEEE.... Stick a fork in him its over with. Mike Hunter counts... 1... 2... 3!
[The Brink won the match in 16 minutes and 56 seconds.]
Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, The Brink!!
Ultimate Warrior - First off I would like to thank each and everyone of you fans out there for your constant support but I have let you all down. At Global Threat I lost the title that I worked so damn hard to get and in that match I was badly injured. What most of the people didn't see was me getting the living shit kicked out of by Hardcore Inc. Like any beating I thought I would be okay but this time it was different, this time I got hurt. I knew this day would come but I had never thought that it would happen last Sunday. I payed for my mistakes, I let the title get to my head and I changed. I changed for the worse and I would like to appologize for it. But as much as I appologize I will never be the same. What once was a great time in my life has now been destroyed. I said in every damn interview that I would come out the winner and said "That's Not Only A Threat it's A Promise." But that will be the last time I utter those words as the Ultimate Warrior. I was a sorry excuse for a North American Champion but I had my pride and dignity and worked my ass off in defending it. I won it at the last PPV titled "Shreveport Showdown". I remember the time well, because it was the best damn time I have had in the EWA. That title made me something much more. When I first entered the EWA I had one helluva ego and not much in-ring ability to back it up. But you can only get better and I did, I went up in the record book, I pulled off some surprise victories in my day. And Then came my shot towards glory.... a chance of a lifetime, and what did I do.... I capatilized on it. I won the damn title that I wanted so damn bad, I had the Flame back then. The Flame that seperates the Boys from the Men. But then everything just went down hill, I had less interview time, more autograph signings.... my enourmous ego resurfaced from the jobber days and I got a kick in the ass from it last Sunday. I was planning on giving my best shot, I gave it all I got but that just didn't cut it. I lost that match, but I lost a number of other things with it.... fame, a title, my ego, and the main reason I am out here.... my career. My time in the EWA has come and gone in a heart beat but I will always remember the EWA as the best damn fed I have ever been a part of and I would like to thank Tom Stone for that. He believed in me when nobody did and he was always there for me. I didn't have one of the best careers but I did accomplish my goal for the EWA.... making a major impact. At Global Threat I had no idea what I was in store for, if I only knew, if I only knew. Hardcore Inc. have taken away from me something I will never ever forgive.... they took
away from me the most important thing to me.... my wrestling career. This is a very hard thing to do and I hoped it would never come down to this but it has. I would like to say sorry to all my fans, the EWA superstars, and last but not least Tom Stone, you all gave me a chance to be a somebody.... and I thank all of you for that. This is the Warrior.... the former North American Champion.... Up.... Down.... Over.... In.... and out...
[Warrior runs his fingers through his hair and tries hard not to shed a tear as the EWA fans begin a Warrior chant. He takes off his glasses and takes a long hard look at the arena where he would be wrestling in if it hadn't been for this injury... and suddenly a tear runs down his cheek as he disappears behind the curtains, leaving the fans on thier feet....]
The Informer - Your hilarious Tom.
Tom Stone - Thank You, I know I am!
The Informer - Oh please... Zed has Gangrel in the corner, Draven has Edge in another corner.... WHAM!!!! WHAM!!!!! DEATH DROP!!! UNFORGIVEN!!!!
Tom Stone - *Yawn* THIS IS EXCITING!!!!
The Informer - What the hell is this?? They switched!! Draven lifts Grangel in the air.... Zed has Edge.... WHAM!!!! WHAM!!!!! DEATH DROP!!! UNFORGIVEN!!!! They both go for the cover... Mike Hunter counts, 1.... 2..... 3!!!
[Zed and Draven won the match in 18 minutes and 36 seconds.]
Johnny Bones - Here are your winners, Zed and Draven!!
Tom Stone - YEAH!!! You shut the hell up Informer. You dont' see legends until their hitting you right in the face.
The Informer - Sure I do. Man, you�ve changed.
Tom Stone - Shut the hell up. Anyway, see there, because of you we missed the entrance!!! They�re already in the ring now. Damn you.
The Informer - Asshole.
Tom Stone - I�ll fire your ass, you better leave me alone
[ECW cut to ending of match]
The Informer - And there it is!!!! Divine just nailed Blackout with Divine Intervention, that should be all!!! Chandler over to count... 1..... 2..... OUCH
Tom Stone - YES!!!! THAT�S BRILLIANT!! AHAHAHA, MIKE EXTREME JUST NAILED DIVINE WITH A GUILLITINE LEGDROP!!! AHAHAHA, KICK HIS ASS MIKE!!!
The Informer - Well, that�s a shame. A great match like this ends in a disqualification.
Tom Stone - WHO CARES?!?! THE POINT IS MIKE EXTREME AND CHANDLER ARE KICKING THE LIVING HELL OUTTA BOTH THESE GUYS!!!! THIS IS GREAT!!!
The Informer - No, this is sick. Chandler and Extreme hit both men with their trademark maneuvers. Now they�re just stomping them. Wait, Chandler�s signaling Extreme to go get something. What the hell is he doing? Mike Extreme reaches under thing ring...
Tom Stone - AND HE WHIPS OUT THE BARBED-WIRE BASEBALL BAT!!! WOOOO!!!! THIS IS AWESOME!! KICK THEIR ASS!!!
The Informer - Awww man, that is sick, Mike Extreme just hit Divine full force with that baseball bat. He does it again, again, again, this is just horrid. Chandler�s asking for the bat, he gets it, and he hits Blackout with it, again, again, again, SICK. THIS IS DISGUSTING!! Well, Chandler and Mike Extreme are leaving now, but the damage has been done. We need some help out here.
Tom Stone - HOW GREAT WAS THAT?!!?!?? OLD SCHOOL FOREVER!!!!!!
[Divine won the match in 23 minutes and 18 seconds.]
Johnny Bones - Here is your winner by Disqualification, and STILL EWA North American Champion, Divine!!
The Informer - Look out!! There's Mr. X, he's coming from the crowd!!
Tom Stone - Who???
The Informer - WHAM!!! He nails BlackOut with a chair!! He's mumbling something to him......
Mr. X - Mr. X DOESN'T LOOSE TO JOBBERS LIKE YOU!!!!
Tom Stone - Well, that guy who just attacked that other dude--
The Informer - MR. X just attacked BlackOut.... you idiot. LOOK OUT!!! HERE COMES DA BJ BOYZ!!! They're beating on BlackOut!!! What is this?!?! Does everyone hate BlackOut???
Tom Stone - I DO, THATS FOR SURE!!!
The Informer - As much as everyone hates you, and you know how much I hate you, I think it would be best if you stayed here...
Tom Stone - Awww shit.
The Informer - Thorn has a table set up on the outside.... He puts it over the stairs... Oh No... Not this again... Lets refer to this BIG load of steele and wood as the Pile of Hell, shall we??
Tom Stone - Your fruity.... LOOK!! YES.... KILL HIM!!!!
The Informer - Thorn puts a chair on top of the table... He gets onto the apron, Wildman with a drop kick.... Thorn lands on the Pile of Hell... Wildman jumps off the top rope... Thorn moves!! Wildman lands face first on the chair!!
Tom Stone - BREAK HIS SKULL!!!!
The Informer - Thorn goes inside, he's headed to the top rope... Thorn jumps........... THUMP!!!!!! THORN JUST NAILED A 360 MOONSAULT ONTO THE WILDMAN AND THEY BOTH WENT STRAIGHT THROUGH THAT PILE OF HELL!!!! Mike Hunter counts... 1..... 2...... 3!!!!! WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!!!!!
Tom Stone - Yehaw.
[Thorn won the match in 48 minutes and 12 seconds.]
Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, and NEW EWA Extreme Champion, Thorn!!
The Informer - He's holding up his belt celebrating.... wait! Here comes Brink!!! He jumps into the ring and nails Thorn with a steel chair!!! He's setting him up.... Lyin Tamer!!!
Tom Stone - YES BRINK!!!!
The Informer - After the abuse he took in that last match, Thorn is out cold from that chair shot! He's helpless! Wait.... maybe not!!! Here comes Nomad!!!
Tom Stone - Get out of here you loner!!
The Informer - Nomad jumps in the ring, grabs Brink.... front face lock, tie up.... The Wandering!!! He's going for the Journey's End.... NO! Brink got out!!! He slides out of the ring!
Tom Stone - You see Informer, only LEGENDS get out of situations like that!!
The Informer - Nomad helps up Thorn, Brink is on the outside taunting the two of them! This looks like the end of Brink and Thorn's friendship!!! Nomad and Thorn are standing in the ring, Thorn has that chair that Brink brought in.... Brink is backing down! Well, folks, this has been EWA Tuesday Night Heat, we'll see you on Friday!!!
