The Informer - hahahha.... Oh my!! The Final Bet!!! "The Sexy One" goes for the cover... Mike Hunter counts, 1... 2.... 3!!!!

["The Sexy One" Sonny Fletcher won the match in 0 minutes and 35 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, "The Sexy One" Sonny Fletcher!!

The Informer - OHHH!!! Low blow!! Badd Ass Billy Gunn with the upper hand again... THE FAMEASSER!!! The ref is calling for the bell!! What the hell?!?

[Double Countout in 18 minutes and 47 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Ladies and Gentlemen, this match has been ruled a Double Countout!!

Damian - Oh shit man... why didn' you tell me I was on? Ahh fuck it ...anyways... what's up ladies and sluts of the EWA? Damian here... TNT's over there in that other bed, passed out. Well, I suppose you're all wondering what I'm doin' here and not there. Here goes... a couple of nights ago, me and T were hangin' out over a M... a friend's house... and well, he had nigger-rigged this electric bong up and we were gonna check some shit out. We had some killer buds... anyways... Me, this "friend", and TNT all had hoses in our mouths, ready to light the thing... our "friend" lit it, and when we began to take a hit, the bong water shot into all of our mouths. Nasty shit... but it gives you one hell of a body buzz. As soon as the water entered our mouths, we saw a flash and then felt a massive shock. It didn't hurt too bad... hell, it kinda tingled but... it still put us here. Things in the hospital aren't too bad though. They got some kickass drugs up in this bitch. The morphine is my favorite...

[He holds the button up and presses it 5 or 6 times]

Damian - ...wow ...I love this shit. Anyways... unless you're dumb, dead, or just Zed, you've probably noticed that we aren't gonna be at Heat. Nope. The drugs here are too good to miss out on so we're gonna milk this one out. The doctor says that we'll be out of action for 6 months but you know what I say? I say that its gonna be another 6 or 7 days... another 10 or 12 thousand bucks worth of morphine and we'll be back in action. As for my handicap match tonight... it's not gonna happen... at least not with me. You all heard Dank say that he would take my place... he got that directly from me. Snatch, Rocco... Dank's a tank, not a prank... unlike your skanks. Wow, this morphine is makin' me sound like Mr. Fuckin' Rogers... I gotta have some more... oh shit... I forgot to tell ya about the nurses. They are hot as hell man... I almost had one give me a BJ but TNT woke up, bitchin' and moanin'... and he told this fine hoe that his bedpan needed to be changed... I was pissed. Oh well, I guess that about explains everything...see everyone in a week or so...

[The camera pans out, as Damian repeatedly presses the button for more morphine. The camera begins to fade and the last thing seen is Damian, laying back, totally relaxed, with his eyes rolled back in his head, a half smile on his face, and drool running down his chin...]

The Informer - Mike Hunter counts the pin... 1... 2.... 3!!!!

[Brightblade gets up and raises his arms. The ref walks over to him and puts his arm down... Micky Finn wins??]

[Double Pin in 24 minutes and 46 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Ladies and Gentlemen, Both opponents shoulders were pinned to the mat... Therefore, this match is a No Contest!!

The Informer - X-Treme ducks a chair swing... Kick to the gut, Dank drops the chair. X-Treme with a stunning DDT!!! X-Treme sets up the chair in the corner... He whips Dank to the corner, He climbs the ropes.... THE SHOWSTOPPER!!!! Mike Hunter rolls over... He slowly counts... 1..... 2...... 3!!!!!

[X-Treme won the match in 33 minutes and 57 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, and STILL EWA North American Champion, X-Treme!!

The Informer - TBL lifts Jabroni to his feet... Justin Jabroni with a kick to the jewels!! What a cheap ass!!! He lifts TBL, THE JABRONIE DRI--NO!! TBL jumps over his back.... THE LEGEND LOCK!!! Justin Jabroni is tapping out!! Mike Hunter is calling for the bell!!!

[TBL won the match in 29 minutes and 23 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, TBL!!

The Informer - Deuce goes into the corner... He walks out backwards half dazed... Wildman kicks him in the back... The Atomic Death Drop!!!!! Mike Hunter counts... 1.... 2.... 3!!!

[The Wildman won the match in 43 minutes and 20 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, The Wildman!!

The Informer - WHAM!!! THEY JUST RAN OVER CHAZZ ROCCO!!! They all jump out of the truck... They've all got chains!! They're whipping them with the chains!!

[Trinidy grabs pad locks out of the glove box of the truck. They chain the two up and carry them to a nearby dumpster. They throw them in the dumpster and pad lock it shut. Dank backs the truck up to the dumpster... They chain the dumpster to the trailer hitch. They all get in the car and start to drive off dragging the dumpster behind the truck. They get on the nearest highway and travel to the first exit. They take the first dirt road off the exit and stop about three miles down the road. They unchain the dumpster and pile back in the car leaving the dumpster in the middle of nowhere.]

[Dank won the match in 47 minutes and 37 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, Dank!!

The Informer- Damn right Tom, Brink and Zed have been battling back and forth for about fifty minutes now! Zed goes for a Reverse Edge... WHAMO!! He pulled it off!! Zed with the cover... 1... 2... Kickout!! Brink kicked out of the Reverse Edge!! Zed picks up Brink again... another Reverse Edge!! Another cover... 1... 2... Thr... wait!! Kickout again! That had to be two and 7/8!! Zed picks up Brink yet again, Zed's going for another Reverse Edge! He sets Brink up... NO!! He missed!! Brink reverses and whips Zed into the corner!!

Tom Stone - Oh baby, here it comes!

The Informer - Brink's setting him up for the Plunge! Brink steps back... Superkick!! Zed took the downward plunge!! Brink goes for the cover... wait... he gets off of Zed! Brink going to the top rope now!

Tom Stone - What the hell?!?

The Informer - Brink with an inverted frog splash! The Brink gets up now... He's putting him in... wha?!? It's a sharpshooter!!

Tom Stone - It's old skool! Brink's old finisher! The Lyin Tamer!!

The Informer - Mike Hunter checking Zed... He tapped out!! Brink with the Lyin Tamer to defend his belt!! What a match!!

[The Brink won the match in 56 minutes and 57 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, and STILL EWA International Champion, The Brink!!