[ Suddenly all goes black, and a flash consumes the building. Then an M wrapped in barb wire once again appears on the giant screen tv as the song Parabol by Tool blairs over the speakers.. Fans look around confused as an unrecognized, disguised voice speaks. ]

Unknown Voice - I feel... somebody holding me.... reminding me that I am not alone.....this somebody makes me feel eternal.....and all this pain is an illusion....

[ The arena flashes again, and the man who was seen in the crowd for the last few weeks is now in the ring with his arms out to the side. As the arena goes back to black... the song fades out, and the arena begins to light back up. The man is gone, and everything is back to normal. ]

[ We fade to the halls of the arena, where Leon Sharpe is walking~!, Sharpe stops to catch a drink from a water fountain when he is approached by Rob DiMarco. ]

Rob DiMarco - Hello Thundergod.. I must ask now... why did you spare Divine last week on Heat?

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - Give me a moment here.

[ Sharpe finishes his drink. ]

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - I spared Divine because of a few reasons.

[ Sharpe pauses for a second. ]

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - Reason #1, I felt that it was wise to not hit a big man like Divine with a chair so suddenly. Reason #2, I realized that maybe Divine wasn't out there to hit me with a chair, he was possibly out there to defend me for some bizarre reason and reason 3....

[ Sharpe smirks. ]

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - I know that I can scare Divine into liking women more than men. Basically, I will get him to think that if he does like me, or other men, I will beat him silly. That fear will adjust him to being somewhat normal. Although, he will still be bizarre.

Rob DiMarco - So.. your idea for Divine is... Scared Straight?

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - I think that it's not hateful, but Divine will realize that if he does make a move on me, I will beat his ass. Although, you must admit that in size, we are both formidible. One day, I will finally repress Divine's weird sexual urges and help him turn into the champion that he should be. Okay, i'm gone. Keep me away from Divine.

[ Sharpe walks off. ]

[ The camera cuts backstage as Divine stands next to Rachel Stevens moments before his tag team match. ]

Rachel Stevens - Divine, in just a few short moments you will team with M.U.D. to take on Dino Delsante and The Hustler. Do you think you can co-exist with M.U.D. and achieve victory here tonight?

Divine - Honey...I am VICTORY!!! Tag Team wrestling is second nature to me!! And M.U.D. is a meaty man and will satisfy my craving as tag team partner tonight....but the main course....my main MAN....my one and only true blue tag team partner....is LEO SHARPE!!! And whatever LEO wants LEO gets!!!

Rachel Stevens - What?

Divine - Rachel...can you believe that Garth Brooks is actually number one on the Billboard charts with his new album "scArecrow"?

Rachel Stevens - You mean he beat out Britney Spears?!?

Divine - Yes, she was number two! If my memory serves me right, he only beat her by 200,000...

Rachel Stevens - But what does this have to do with your tag team match tonight?

Divine - AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

[ Divine rips off his EWA T-shirt to reveal a picture of "The ThunderGod" Leon Sharpe painted on his chest. ]

Divine - LEON!!! NEON LEON!!! I wanna go all night, aint no stopin till the breakin of the dawn, I wanna go INSIDE every corner, LEon you really turn me on!! I wanna go knock knock....

Rachel Stevens - Divine....Divine!!

[ Rachel Stevens puts her hand on Divine's shoulder and he quickly pushes her away. ]

Divine - YOU BITCH!!! YOU SLUT!!! YOU THINK JUST BECAUSE YOUR TITS ARE REAL THAT YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME?!?!?!? THINK AGAIN HONEY!!!! CAN YOU DO IT LIKE THIS?!?!? CAN YOU DO IT LIKE THIS?!?!?

[ Divine begins to hump a nearby garbage can as the camera cuts back to ringside. ]

[ M.U.D. is glaring at Rachel but she doesn't see it yet. He looks not so disturbed, but overwhelmed. Rachel, by whipping of the camera is adjusting her skirt before walking over to the man she does not like at all. ]

Rachel Stevens - Hello..

M.U.D. - Greetings.

[ Her eyes brighten surprisingly and she gives him a quick look over. ]

M.U.D. - Before you run of the mouth child, I will say that after my words last week when we were last together, I was a bit wrong. I am proud of you. You are growing up, my girl.

Rachel Stevens - Um, what do you.. oh nevermind.

M.U.D. - You no longer fear me. You are annoyed by me. It's good progress.

Rachel Stevens - I told you before, I've gone through worse things with people worse than you.

M.U.D. - Oh.. So I'm not bad? Am I... not BAD ENOUGH FOR YOU?

[ Rachel looks at the camera and rolls her eyes slightly. M.U.D. grabs her arm and whips her to face him. ]

M.U.D. - Maybe it is because I choose not to be so dangerous around you.

Rachel Stevens - Uck, whatever...

M.U.D. - Tom Stone does not slow me down a bit. The biggest hypocrite in possibly the whole world, would never attempt to protect you. He cares less about you then...

[ Pause.. ]

Rachel Stevens - Than who MUD?

M.U.D. - Have I ever slapped you?

Rachel Stevens - Surprisingly no. But you nearly tore my jaw off last week.

M.U.D. - Would it pleasure you if I was to strike you?

Rachel Stevens - ....No.

M.U.D. - Hesitant are we? Heh, you've grown attracted to the abuse you receive from the men in this business. You can't be happy with a man unless he is to hit you. That is why you are so alone.

Rachel Stevens - What are you saying? You want a date with me or something?

[ M.U.D. rubs teh knot that is still on his head from last week and just stares at her eyes coldly. ]

Rachel Stevens - You sick fuck.

Chris Myers - The next match is scheduled for one fall and is a Tag Team Match!

[ "When Doves Cry" by Prince blasts through the speakers... ]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'8" and weighing in at 335 pounds, from Hollywood, Divine!

[ Divine steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]

[ "Dead Weight" by Simon Says blasts through the speakers... ]

Chris Myers - Next, his tag team partner... standing 6'8" and weighing in at 250 pounds, from the Tibetan Sanctuary, M.U.D!

[ M.U.D steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]

[ "Alive" by P.O.D. blasts through the speakers... ]

Chris Myers - And their opponents! Introducing first... standing 6'3" and weighing in at 240 pounds, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, "The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante!

[ "The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]

[ "Walk" by Pantera blasts through the speakers... ]

Chris Myers - And his partner... standing 6'3" and weighing in at 233 pounds, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, "The Hustler" Marty Delaney!

[ "The Hustler" Marty Delaney steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]

[ Ding, Ding, Ding! ]

The Informer - And here we go! M.U.D. is starting off against The Hustler! They lock up... The Hustler with a headlock! M.U.D. throws The Hustler to the ropes... Clothesline! Hustler gets up... Drop Kick! OOH!!!! M.U.D. just clotheslined Dino Delsante off the apron!

Vic Canon - M.U.D. is taunting Dino now.... FROM BEHIND, ROLL UP BY THE HUSTLER! The ref counts... 1... 2.... NO! Divine breaks the count!

Eddie Sensation - M.U.D. gets up... and Divine slaps his ass! HAHAHA!

The Informer - M.U.D. is getting a little distracted now... The Hustler tags in Dino Delsante! Dino charges at M.U.D. and NAILS HIM with a clothesline! M.U.D. gets up... BULLDOG by Delsante!

Vic Canon - Dino gets up again... M.U.D. is up... and Dino clothesline's him over the top rope, and onto the concrete floor! Dino tags in Hustler, and "The Cornerstone" rolls to the outside to take care of M.U.D.!!

Eddie Sensation - Dino approaches M.U.D. and DDT's him onto the concrete floor! Dino jumps up onto the apron... and the referee begins to count out M.U.D.!

The Informer - 1..... 2....... 3...... 4.... and Divine is walking over to M.U.D....

Vic Canon - 5... 6.... 7.... Divine picks up M.U.D., and rolls him into the ring!

Eddie Sensation - The Hustler lifts M.U.D. to his feet, and lifts him up in a suplex! NO! DDT BY M.U.D.! And M.U.D. is back onto his feet!

The Informer - A little burst of energy there by M.U.D.! M.U.D. tags in Divine... and climbs to the top rope!

Vic Canon - Heads up! OOOH!!!! MY GOD!!!! M.U.D. JUST JUMPED FROM ONE CORNER TO THE ONE BESIDE IT, AND NAILED DINO DESLANTE WITH A CLOTHESLINE!

Eddie Sensation - HOLY SHIT! THAT WAS A PRETTY HUGE LEAP!

The Informer - I know! And now M.U.D. and Delsante are brawling on the floor! Divine has The Hustler up on his feet... OOH! The Hustler knee's Divine in the nuts, and lifts him to his feet!

Vic Canon - OOH!!!!!!! HE NAILED IT! THE HUSTLER NAILS DIVINE WITH THE DISSOLUTION!

Eddie Sensation - But the referee is watching Dino and M.U.D. go at it!

The Informer - HEY! LOOK! HERE COMES LEON SHARPE! HE'S IN THE RING... HE TURNS THE HUSTLER AROUND....

Vic Canon - THE LSS!!!!!! LSS!!!! HE NAILED THE HUSTLER WITH IT!

Eddie Sensation - Now what's he doing?! .....What the hell?!?!?

The Informer - Leon Sharpe is putting Divine ontop of The Hustler! I guess he paying Divine back for last week!

Vic Canon - Leon Sharpe slides out of the ring, and the ref turns around! He counts the pin! 1...... 2....... 3!

Chris Myers - The winners of this match... Divine and M.U.D.!

WINNERS: Divine and M.U.D. w/ help from Leon Sharpe by Pinfall

Eddie Sensation - I dont think Divine knows what the hell just happened!

The Informer - And I'm having trouble figuring out weather Leon is with or against Divine!

Vic Canon - We'll be right back fans! Don't go anywhere!

[ Suddenly the arena goes dark, and out walks the current EWA Television Champion to an arouse of applauds by the fans. The song "I Who Have Nothing" by Jedi Mind Tricks plays through the speakers as Sakyo Kyuma makes his way to the ring. ]

Sakyo Kyuma - Tonight is the night where the EWA... and the Television Title division changes forever....

[ Fans go into a frenzy as Sakyo walks his way up the ring steps. ]

Sakyo Kyuma - Tonight your EWA Television Champion brings you a night that you will never forget... and a night that will change the course of the EWA as a federation and as a unit....

The Informer - What is he talking about?

Eddie Sensation - Its called Paranoid Skitzophrenia or Manic Depressent. The man was assed raped when he was 10. Come one, hes bound to have problems.

Vic Canon - Eddie, SHUT THE HELL UP!!

[ Sakyo continues to look around the ring at all the fans in attendance. ]

Sakyo Kyuma - The First Chapter has been written..... and may you all see that what we do has already been inscripted and concealed in a book...and tonight the second Chapter begins.......

[ Sakyo stands on the top rope and stares out into the audience and right into the camera with desire and determination.... ]

Sakyo Kyuma - GENJUTSUSHI!!!

[ We see Thundergod Leon Sharpe at a table with some EWA referees. ]

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - Now now now... in the last few weeks, I've lost due to four people attacking me, due to a man having my tights in his hands and due to hypocrisy. I have the EWA referees in the room here.

Lance King - Now, you said you wouldn't attack us.

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - Why would I hurt a ref? that's not unique. Now, I want you all to apologize for screwing me out of the tag team titles by allowing four people to beat me for them.

Lance King - That match was a Hardcore Match.

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - But you all didn't go and force those extra people to leave. Next week, Delsante's hands on my tights.

Lance King - We didn't see that.

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - Look Lance Wonder, as far as I am concerned, you did see that happen, so did Lee.

Lance King - We can't call what we can't see.

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - Yes you can... but you insist on screwing me. Next week, you let Doe's sheep hit me with chairs but you end the match when Divine hits one of them with a chair

Lance King - Divine wasn't in the match..

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - It doesn't make the match unfair. Now, tonight.. whichever one of you gets my match, lets go thru some stuff beforehand. Say I say that Howell was cheating, what do you do?

Lance King - Go with what we saw?

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - You take my word for it! Because I don't lie about that! One for Lee, say that four guys come down with chairs and hit me with them, what do you do?

Lance King - I declare the match a DQ win for you.

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - Good... although you can let someone hit them with chairs also. Is all understood here?

Lance King - Sure...

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - Good... as long as you understand that the rules will be the same for me and my opponent, instead of me being screwed by your shitty job officiating.

[ We fade to black. ]

Rob DiMarco - Folks I'm here live with Sakyo Kyuma. And tonight Sakyo... you take on your first challenger for the EWA Television Title you won last week from Arthryn. Are you ready for this challenge?

Sakyo Kyuma - Jay Flash is no challenge. All week long,... let me rephrase that. Ever since I've stepped into this fed I've told Jay about himself. I've been upfront with him, and all of you haven't I?

[ Rob nods ]

Sakyo Kyuma - And what has Jay done? Nothing but move closer and closer to his demise. Jay, I dont like you and I never will. As for your "Icon"... I dont like him either and I see why you are who you are. I see whats wrong, and tonight your misery is over. HIM was all a joke....... but Jay when you talked about him, there was something different about HIM.... I think I know the HIM your looking for Jay.... and tonight I will show you HIM.....

[ Sakyo starts laughing obsessively. Rob looks at him with a confused look at he speaks. ]

Rob DiMarco - HIM? Sakyo... who is Him?

[ Sakyo doesn't speak and looks at Rob as if it was his time to go. Rob stops him quickly. ]

Rob DiMarco - Quickly, before you go. Give us some more words. I must ask, is this the match you have been waiting for? Since you've first fought Jay it seems as if this is what you were waiting for. And now that your anger with him as gotten more intense, is this the night the EWA and its fans have been waiting for?!?!

[ Sakyo looks at Rob and chuckles to himself. Suddenly his eyes turns RED and he stares at Rob, and then at the camera with a look of death. Suddenly an M wrapped in barb wire flashs across the Giant TV screen over the image of Sakyo and Rob. Sakyo speaks. ]

Sakyo Kyuma - Did you see that? Rob... Tonight is the night..... the night not just for me to prove to this fed who I am.... but to bring forth hopefully what will be the most unholy alliance this federation and this great sport has ever seen.... its a new era... a new time... and that time is now for all this pain is an illusion!!!!!!!

[ Sakyo stares into the camera with his fiery red eyes, and stone cold face and screams out to Jay flash, and the rest of world..... ]

Sakyo Kyuma - GENJUTSUSHI!!!

Chris Myers - The next match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the EWA Television Title!

[ "God Send Death" By Slayer blasts through the speakers... ]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'4" and weighing in at 278 pounds, from Birmingham, England, "The Future" Jay Flash!

[ "The Future" Jay Flash steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]

[ "I Who Have Nothing" by Jedi Mind Tricks blasts through the speakers... ]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'5" and weighing in at 164 pounds, from Osaki, Japan, Sakyo "Genjutsushi" Kyuma!

[ Sakyo "Genjutsushi" Kyuma steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]

[ Ding, Ding, Ding! ]

The Informer - Here we go! Sakyo defends his title aga--OOH! BIG CLOTHESLINE BY SAKYO KYUMA! JAY FLASH DIDN'T SEE IT COMING!

Vic Canon - Sakyo is kicking away at Jay Flash! Kick kick kick kick kick! He lifts up Flash, and throws him to the ropes..... BULLDOG!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - Sakyo covers Flash... the ref counts... 1... 2.... No! Kickout!

The Informer - Sakyo gets up, and lifts Jay Flash to his feet... WHAM! GERMAN SUPLEX!

Vic Canon - But Sakyo doesn't let go! He's going for another Suplex! WHAM! And he nails a second German Suplex!

Eddie Sensation - And he still hasn't let go! He's up one more time... BANG! Three German Suplexes!

The Informer - Sakyo finally lets go... and gets to his feet. He lifts Flash up to his feet.... and puts him on his shoulders!

Vic Canon - Uh oh! LOOK OUT! .......WHAM! 5 STAGES OF CONCIOUSNESS! HE NAILED IT!

Eddie Sensation - The referee counts... 1... 2.... 3!

Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and STILL EWA Television Champion... Sakyo "Genjutsushi" Kyuma!

WINNER: Sakyo "Genjutsushi" Kyuma w/ 5 Stages of Conciousness by Pinfall

The Informer - Wait a minute... Sakyo isn't done... he's walking towards us.... and he's got 2 steel chairs!

Vic Canon - Sakyo gets into the ring, and brings the chairs with him.... Jay Flash is getting up slowly.... WHAM!!!!! SAKYO NAILS HIM WITH A CHAIR!

Eddie Sensation - WHAM!!!!! SAKYO NAILS HIM AGAIN! DAMN! That must hurt!

The Informer - Wait a minute... who the hell is that?!

Vic Canon - You tell me Informer! Some guy is walking towards the ring... hey, isn't he the guy who keeps appearing in the crowd?

Eddie Sensation - Yeah! That's him!

The Informer - This mysterious person is by the ring apron, and he's looking at Sakyo Kyuma!

Vic Canon - OOH!!! SAKYO THROWS THE CHAIR AT HIM! AND THE MAN CATCHES IT! HE CAUGHT THE CHAIR!

Eddie Sensation - That guy is on the apron now! He pissed of Sakyo!

The Informer - I guess so! WAIT A MINUTE! Jay Flash is getting up! He's right behind Sakyo!

Vic Canon - SAKYO SWINGS THE CHAIR AT THE MYSTERY MAN! THE MAN DUCKS...... WHAM!!!!!! WHAT LUCK! SAKYO HIT JAY FLASH, WHO WAS STANDING BEHIND HIM, WITH THE FOLLOW THROUGH OF HIS CHAIR SWING!

Eddie Sensation - That mystery man is in the ring now... and Sakyo is going for Jay Flash! He lifts him to his feet, and whips Flash to the ropes!

The Informer - LOOK OUT!!!!!! OOOOOOOOH!!!!!!! WHAT A VICIOUS DOUBLE TEAM MOVE! SAKYO KYUMA AND THAT MYSTERIOUS MAN JUST HIT JAY FLASH WITH A VICIOUS MOVE! WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY?!

Vic Canon - I have no idea, Informer!

[ "The Winds Of War" by Jedi Mind Tricks blasts through the speakers as Sakyo Kyuma and the mysterious man leave through the crowd, and eventually exit, without saying a word. ]

[ We are taken to the backstage area of Key Arena. We saw Rob DiMarco standing backstage with a microphone in hand. The camera zooms in. ]

Rob DiMarco - Ladies and Gentlemen, I am standing by with Howell only moments before his first round match with "Thundergod" Leon Sharpe. After almost two years with the company, this is your first chance at being able to win the EWA World Championship. What are your feelings about being in this tournament?

[ The camera zooms out until Howell is in view standing next to Rob DiMarco. He takes he Oakley sunglasses from his face and puts them in this pants pocket. ]

Howell - Well Rob, you can say I have mixed emotions about being in this tournament. It is good to be known as one of the best in the EWA...but on the other hand...it is about god damn time I have gotten this opportunity. For the time I have served, this is my first opportunity at the most coveted title in the business...maybe the last chance I have at it. With the rare opportunities I have to take advantage whenever I can. So that means, I'm gonna have to do whatever it takes to win this tournament, because I feel it is the only shot I have. But there is no long shot to it...because I've been doing whatever it takes to get the job done for almost two years. So having to ruin a career...or severly hurt another induvidual to accomplish something isn't a new thing to do...it is something I believe I am one of the best at and I start by showing it tonight.

Rob DiMarco - Tonight you go one on one with Leon Sharpe. Both of you have been poking fun at each other the past couple days of former personas each of you had in the federation...what is the point of doing this?

Howell - Ask Sharpe? He started the trash talking, I just had to add my two cents. He wanted to use mind games on me...make me go over the edge...because he knows that probably the only chance he has tonight is a disqualification on my part...which isn't gonna happen. I have infact placed some mind games of my own on Leon, so if anything he would be the one going off the deep end. The different between me and another is I can usually control my anger, and I will make sure to control it until the match is over and my hand is raised...anything after that would be out of my hands.

Rob DiMarco - I just want to know...if you are victorious tonight...who would you want to fight in the next round of the tournament?

Howell - When I am victorious Robby...if is not part of the question. Really it doesn't matter. One fellow that really intrigues me is Holden Raines. I'll admit he is one sick son of a bitch. I like that in a person. He doesn't care about anyone but himself...he goes out there and gets the job done in any way, shape, or form...like myself. I would love to since which of the two of us would go to more of an extreme to win it all...but I know that no one will risk as much as me...because right now I have nothing to lose...and in the state I am in right now...that makes me a very dangerous person.

Rob DiMarco - Thank you for your time Howell, good luck in your match with "Thundergod" Leon Sharpe in a few moments.

[ We go to the back where Rachel Stevens is standing by Leon Sharpe's dressing room door. ]

Rachel Stevens - I am waiting for Leon Sharpe to come out right now...

[ The door opens and Thundergod Leon Sharpe, Shawn Vinson and infamous boxer James Butler walk out. ]

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - First off, I'd like to replay something that happened on Friday Night fights..

[ We cut to Friday Night Fights clip of the James Butler-Richard Grant incident. ]

"Richard Grant, in the mild upset, a uniamimous decision victory-- ooohh... whoa, Butler just ran across the ring! Butler just went over there suckerpunched suckerpunched and knocked out Grant. Oh boy, and The New Commissioner Ray Calley will do something about very very enforceful here, you want to talk about Zab Judah with his antics, losing some money, James Butler should never be allowed in the ring again, absolutely, never, that is Assault! that is Assault! he should be arrested on the spot!"

[ We cut back to Sharpe. ]

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - Now, we got some people in New York to get him out on bail, and we flew him here. James Butler, a man who faked a handshake and punched a man after losing to him, is a natural for Pro Wrestling. I might call Sabu to train the man. Isn't that right James?

James Butler - No comment..

[ Thundergod Leon Sharpe starts moving in for a handshake and then suckerpunches James Butler, sending him down in a heap. ]

Shawn Vinson - That is Assault! that is Assault brotha!

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - Shut up Vinson... Butler, you don't suckerpunch people in public at Charity events. Idiot... get his ass out of here.

[ Vinson drags Butler off and hands him to a crew member. ]

Rachel Stevens - Okay...

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - I have first dibs on Osama Bin Laden and first dibs on Rob DiMarco. I'm gonna be so pissed if someone gets Rob first. I also want first dibs at pummelling some of the other idiots in this damn town of Seattle. Let me make it clear, if you want to cheer me, good, if you want to cheer a whining lazy son of a bitch like Howell, you are an idiot.

Rachel Stevens - Now, tonight you are facing Howell, a tournament to determine the #1 Contender for the EWA Heavyweight title.

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - I guess I will have to make them more sure that I have that status.. Maybe if the people ranking these things would be able to keep Uncle Justin and Aunt Rodzie away, they'd know that I am the #1 contender, because Ethan Tyler has never defeated me.

Rachel Stevens - How will you deal with Howell?

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - I will start by force-feeding him Zoloft, mellowing him down, then I will hold my hand out as his arms swing. Then he will get tired and fall asleep, that's my shot.

Shawn Vinson - Your shot to give him the Shining Wizard!

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - Shining Wizard? that sounds like something I'd use to remove stains from my carpet. Why are you still here Vinson. Go back and make sure Divine stays away. Heck, go find Ann Heche and fix her up with Divine, Get out of my sight man... you're almost as annoying as a Seattle grunge band.

Rachel Stevens - Seriously, how will you deal with Howell?

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - I will overpower him and gradually fuck up one of his bodyparts and win the match.

Rachel Stevens - Any last words?

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - You talk like I am stepping into a furnace. Let me tell you this, if I am stepping into a furnace, call me Shadrach because I am stepping out of it without a stratch on me. Howell, your return and you saying you will take care of unfinished business is just hollow threats, you will soon grow lazy, go home and wait for Stone to give you more things that you didn't work for. Thurston, you ask like a rookie, you are as much of a rookie as Ichiro was and you will meet your first loss on your way back.

[ Sharpe walks off. ]

Chris Myers - The next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a First Round match of the EWA World Title #1 Contender Tournament!

[ "Dragula" by Rob Zombie blasts through the speakers... ]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'11" and weighing in at 304 pounds, from Kingman, Arizona, "The Thundergod" Leon Sharpe!

[ "The Thundergod" Leon Sharpe steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]

[ "Between Angels and Insects" by Papa Roach blasts through the speakers... ]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'4" and weighing in at 248 pounds, from Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada, Howell!

[ Howell steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]

[ Ding, Ding, Ding! ]

The Informer - And there's the bell! Here we go, First Round Tournament action!

Vic Canon - Howell swings with a clothesline! Shapre moves out of the way, and puts the palm of his hand on Howell's forehead! Howell is punching and swinging at Sharpe, but he can't reach him!

Eddie Sensation - HAHA! That was hilarious!

The Informer - Leon Sharpe throws Howell to the ropes, and nails him with a Big Boot! Howell goes down, and slowly gets to his knees while holding his jaw!

Vic Canon - Howell is up! Howell swings with a clothesline... Howell misses it again.... and Sharpe pats Howell on the head?! OOH! SHARPE FLATTENS HOWELL WITH A CLOTHESLINE!

Eddie Sensation - Leon Sharpe is playing around with Howell! He thinks this is a joke!

The Informer - Howell gets to his feet... and SPEARS Leon Sharpe! Leon doubles over... it looks like Howell knocked the wind out of him! WHAM! IMPLANT DDT BY HOWELL! He nailed Sharpe!

Vic Canon - And now Howell begins kicking Leon Sharpe in the ribs viciously! Leon is slowly getting to his feet now....

Eddie Sensation - Howell bounces off the ropes... he charges towards Sharpe! OOH! BACK BODY DROP RIGHT OVER THE TOP ROPE! HOWELL LANDS ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR!

The Informer - What a counter by Leon Sharpe! He saw that one coming!

Vic Canon - Leon Sharpe isn't wasting any time... he's out on the apron... wait a minute! Don't tell me he's going to---OOH!!!!!! ELBOW DROP OFF THE APRON ONTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR! SHARPE NAILED HOWELL!

Eddie Sensation - Holy shit! I've never seen that much weight move so quickly in mid air! That was scary!

The Informer - Imagine how Howell feels! The referee makes his way out of the ring... and Leon Sharpe drops his foot across Howell's neck! He's choking Howell out! The referee is warning Sharpe!

Vic Canon - The referee is counting Sharpe down... 1.. 2... 3... 4... OH! DAMN! Leon Sharpe just pretended to punch the referee in the face! The referee jumped backwards 10 feet! He almost crapped his pants, I bet!

Eddie Sensation - HAHA! Sharpe picks up Howell, and throws him into the ring! Sharpe takes two huge steps, and ends up in the ring! That blows my mind!

The Informer - Howell is on his feet.... Oh! Sharpe just pushed Howell and knocked him over! Sharpe is HUGE compared to Howell!

Vic Canon - Howell crawls into the corner... you can tell that elbow drop did a lot of damage to Howell!

Eddie Sensation - Leon Sharpe just took the tape off his wrists! And he's choking Howell with it! The referee can't see anything! Sharpe is blocking it with his back!

The Informer - The referee is trying to get a proper angle to see what the hell is going on in that corner, but he can't!

Vic Canon - And finally, Leon Sharpe releases the choke! Howell is holding his neck in pain, and you can see a red line going around his neck!

Eddie Sensation - Sharpe approaches Howell again.... OOH! LOW BLOW BY HOWELL! AND LEON SHARPE FALLS ONTO HIS BACK!

The Informer - What the hell!? Howell is climbing to the top rope! He's in no condition to do this!

Vic Canon - High risk move by Howell here! He's on the top rope... waiting for Sharpe to get up! And Sharpe is up!

Eddie Sensation - HOWELL JUMPS!

The Informer - DOUBLE ARM SMASH! NO! SHARPE SPLITS HOWELL'S HANDS APART....... LOOK OUT!

Vic Canon - WHAM! DAMN! WHAT A MOVE!

Eddie Sensation - What the hell was that?! All I saw was SQUASH!

The Informer - THE KINGMAN KRUSHER! THE KINGMAN KRUSHER! LEON SHARPE JUST NAILED A TILT-A-WHIRL POWERBOMB ON HOWELL!

Vic Canon - He's going for the pin! The ref counts..... 1.......... 2............

Eddie Sensation - ..................3!!!!!

Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and therefore advancing in the tournament... "Thundergod" Leon Sharpe!

WINNER: "Thundergod" Leon Sharpe w/ Kingman Krusher by Pinfall

The Informer - WOW! What a match! It's obvious that Sharpe's size was too much for Howell!

Vic Canon - Yeah... and when Howell had a chance to get back into it, he made a big mistake by going to the top rope!

Eddie Sensation - Oh well... he'll learn for next time!

The Informer - Hopefully... we'll be right back fans!

Chris Myers - The next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Handicap Match!

[ "Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit blasts through the speakers... ]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'6" and weighing in at 252 pounds, from New York City, New York, "Tricky" Tiki Tortez!

[ "Tricky" Tiki Tortez steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]

[ The EWA Theme Music blasts through the speakers... ]

Chris Myers - And now, the mystery opponents... at a total combined weight of 476 pounds... they are... none other than...... THE ROCK N' ROLL EXPRESS!

[ The Rock N' Roll Express step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring. ]

[ Ding, Ding, Ding! ]

The Informer - WHAT THE HELL?! THE ROCK N' ROLL EXPRESS?! You've got to be joking!

Vic Canon - I don't think so, Informer! They're right there... in the flesh!

Eddie Sensation - WHAM! DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE BY TORTEZ!

The Informer - They both go down! The Rock N' Roll express get back up... Drop Kick by Tortez! OH! AND A SPINEBUSTER FOR THE OTHER ONE!

Vic Canon - The other one?! Don't you know names?!

Eddie Sensation - HAHA! I thought you were supposed to be some smart ass, Informer!

The Informer - Was I prepared for this match?! NO!

Vic Canon - Haha! Easy Informer! Tiki Tortez throws half of the Rock N' Roll Express to the outside, and keeps the other in the ring........ IMPLANT DDT!

Eddie Sensation - Wait a minute! HERE COMES TOM STONE!

The Informer - What the hell does Tom want now?! He better stay out of this match! Tortez is already at a disadvantage!

Vic Canon - Stone is at ringside... and he's looking under the ring. Wait! TORTEZ SPOTTED HIM! Tortez just slid out of the ring, and is walking towards Tom Stone!

Eddie Sensation - STONE HAS A FIRE EXTINGUISHER! HAHA!

The Informer - Tortez is still approaching Stone! Stone has his back to Tortez......... LOOK OUT!!!

Vic Canon - OOOOH!!!!! TOM JUST SPRAYED THAT CRAP IN TORTEZ EYES! TORTEZ HAS BEEN BLINDED!

Eddie Sensation - WHAM!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!! TOM STONE JUST TOTALLY ROCKED TIKI TORTEZ IN THE HEAD WITH THAT FIRE EXTINGUISHER!!!!

The Informer - LOOK AT THE METAL! IT'S DENTED! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT!

Vic Canon - Stone is throwing Tortez into the ring now.... and the Rock N' Roll Express are going for the cover!

Eddie Sensation - BOTH MEN are ontop of Tortez! The referee counts!

The Informer - 1............

Vic Canon - 2............

Eddie Sensation - ...................

The Informer - NO NO NO!

Vic Canon - 3!!!!!!!!!! THE ROCK N' ROLL EXPRESS HAVE DONE IT! THEY BEAT TIKI TORTEZ!

Chris Myers - And the winners of this match... The Rock N' Roll Express!

WINNERS: The Rock N' Roll Express w/ help from Tom Stone by Pinfall

Eddie Sensation - HAHA! WHAT A DISGRACE! HE CAN'T EVEN BEAT THOSE JOBBERS!

The Informer - Get a damn ambulence for Tiki Tortez! He still hasn't moved at all!

Vic Canon - And look at Tom Stone! He's laughing! He's enjoying this!

Eddie Sensation - HA! And so am I!

The Informer - Eddie, YOU'RE SICK! TIKI TORTEZ HASN'T MOVED AT ALL, AND YOU'RE ENJOYING IT?! YOU'RE SUCH A DISPICABLE FUC--

[ The Informer is cut off as we go to commercials... ]

Rob DiMarco - Thank you. We're standing here with the former Television champion, Arthryn. We've seen a different Arthryn as of late. Lacking focus and that usual determination of his. Is there any particular reason?

Arthryn - As a matter of fact, there is Rob. I just don't feel like talking about it, really.

Rob DiMarco - Well, tonight you face a former friend of yours in Eric Walther. Any thoughts?

Arthryn - Eric Walther was a friend. Tonight, as I've previously stated, he's a stepping stone. He's on a roll, but his streak ends here tonight.

Rob DiMarco - Well, many feel he's the next big superstar.

Arthryn - Yes well, I am not the type of guy that cares much about what other people think. I have my mind set tonight on victory, and that's what will I get. Walther is going to learn his lesson. He's a good star, and eventually he might get to the top. But he'll get to the top when I say so. Until then, he can wait right behind me, because my destiny is about to be fulfilled.

Rob DiMarco - I presume you are referring to the...

Arthryn - Yes, the World Heavyweight title held by Ethan Tyler. That's my goal. Men will come towards me, planning to put me down, but their tasks will not be accomplished. Because Arthryn, no longer your TV champion, but always...ALWAYS the king of this business we call wrestling, will NEVER surrender. I will never surrender. I will never give up. Try as you might, fellas. Tonight, it's Eric Walther. Next week, whomever. The week after, I don't care. In a business where there are no friends...whomever comes my way is nothing more than just a stepping stone.

[ Backstage, Eric Walther walks up to where Rachel Stevens is standing, waiting for an interview. He looks a little different from normal, as instead of his usual fatigues, he's wearing a pair of khaki cargo pants, with a piece of black rope as a belt. He's also wearing his standard boondocker boots and a three-quarter length black leather trenchcoat with the sleeves cut off, showing off his massive arms. Stevens looks him up and down for a second, then begins the interview. ]

Rachel Stevens - So, here we are again on Heat Eric, and you're about to go face Arthryn in a first round match in the tournament to determine Ethan Tyler's opponent at Rage in a Cage. First though, I have to ask, what's with the new look?

Eric Walther - Well Miss Stevens, I figured that since people seem to want me to be more flashy, more edgy, more something, I'd leave the fatigues behind for a week, and wear something a little more casual. Besides, I've spent my past 10 years more or less in BDUs, it's time to change a little.

Rachel Stevens - Well, it sure is... Different. More like some of the other wrestlers' attire.

Eric Walther - Are you implying that I'm trying to rip someone off, and as such, maybe try and steal a little of their popularity?

Rachel Stevens - Umm, no, I was just saying...

Eric Walther - Look. It's a change. Am I allowed to change, or do you just expect me to stay the same forever?

Rachel Stevens - I don't know, umm, let me just ask you about your match with Arthryn...

Eric Walther - Yeah, Arth is going to be tough. But I'm tougher. He's a good guy, but that won't stop me from mowing him down.

Rachel Stevens - What about the other matches in the tournament? You have your eye on any of them?

Eric Walther - Absolutely. Just to see a legend like Thrylla back in the ring is going to be great, especially if The Original Outlaw gives him some real competition. Tonight should be an interesting night. A lot of things will become clearer. And I'll take one step closer to gaining that shot at Tyler.

[ Walther pulls a black bandana from his pocket and ties his hair back into a ponytail as he turns away from Stevens and heads to the ring. ]

Chris Myers - The next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a First Round match of the EWA World Title #1 Contender Tournament!

[ "How You Remind Me" by Nickleback blasts through the speakers... ]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'9" and weighing in at 272 pounds, from Washington, DC, "The Rifleman" Eric Walther!

[ "The Rifleman" Eric Walther steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]

[ "Headhunter" by Front 242 blasts through the speakers... ]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'10" and weighing in at 302 pounds, from San Juan, Puerto Rico, Arthryn!

[ Arthryn steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]

[ Ding, Ding, Ding! ]

The Informer - And here we go! Our second Tournament match tonight! These two ex-best friends are about to go one-on-one!

Vic Canon - And they've both said it numerous times.... friends don't matter in this business!

Eddie Sensation - Walther charges at Arthryn! Hip toss by Arthryn!

The Informer - Walther gets up... Arthryn charges at him..... Drop Toe Hold!

Vic Canon - Both men back into their corners, and take a breather...... and they lock up! Headlock by Walther! Arthryn throws him to the ropes!

Eddie Sensation - Walther bounces back..... SPINEBUSTER BY ARTHRYN!

The Informer - Eric Walther tries to get to his feet... but stumbles around a bit... Arthryn is in position.... WHAM! REVERSE SUPLEX!

Vic Canon - He covers Walther... the ref counts..... 1........ 2......... No! Easy kickout for The Rifleman!

Eddie Sensation - Arthryn picks up Walther, and throws him into the corner! Arthryn backs up into the opposite corner....

The Informer - Arthryn charges at him! BIG SPLASH! NO! WALTHER MOVES!

Vic Canon - Arthryn gets a chestful of the corner! Arthryn stumbles backwards.... Walther is waiting for him! DRAGON SUPLEX!

Eddie Sensation - Walther lifts Arthryn to his feet again.....

The Informer - FRONT LAY OUT SUPLEX! Walther nailed him with that one!

Vic Canon - And now Eric Walther is going to the top rope! Walther climbs up... and looks at Arthryn!

Eddie Sensation - Arthryn's waiting for it! He see's it coming! I just saw his eyes open!

The Informer - And I think Walther did too! Walther jumps.... and purposely jumps over and past Arthryn, landing on his feet!

Vic Canon - Arthryn gets up, thinking that Walther missed completely....... WHAM!!!!!! WALTHER NAILS HIM WITH A LARIAT!

Eddie Sensation - And now Walther goes up to the top rope again...... I dont see Arthryn's eyes opening this time!

The Informer - WALTHER JUMPS! FROG SPLASH! NO!!! ARTHRYN GETS HIS KNEES UP!

Vic Canon - Eric Walther is in a world of pain!

Eddie Sensation - Arthryn gets to his feet, and waits for Walther....

The Informer - Eric Walther slowly gets up, with one hand on his stomach! He turns towards Arthryn............ CHOKESLAM BY ARTHRYN!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - Eric Walther is out in the middle of the ring! And now Arthryn applies a STF!

Eddie Sensation - Arthryn is pulling back on Walther... but Walther isn't showing any visible signs of pain! He's just laying there, taking it!

The Informer - Eric Walther knows he's in the dead center of the ring.... he's looking for a way to get Arthryn off of him...

Vic Canon - But Arthryn does the work himself, as Arthryn releases the hold and gets up!

Eddie Sensation - Well that was stupid!

The Informer - I'm sure he thinks the same of you, Eddie! Arthryn lifts Walther to his feet.... OOH!! LOW BLOW BY WALTHER!! Walther grabs Arthryn..... FISHERMAN'S BUSTER! HE NAILED IT!

Vic Canon - Eric Walther lifts one arm in the air, signalling to the crowd that he's about to finish this match!

Eddie Sensation - Walther is just waiting for Arthryn to get up......

The Informer - Arthryn slowly gets up...... WALTHER CHARGES AT HIM!

Vic Canon - SWING AND A MISS! WALTHER MISSED, BECAUSE ARTHRYN HIT HIM WITH A DROP TOE HOLD RIGHT ONTO THE SECOND ROPE!

Eddie Sensation - Uh oh!

The Informer - YOU KNOW WHAT'S NEXT! LOOK OUT!!!!!!!!!!! ............LIGHTS OUT, BITCH!!!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - ARTHRYN NAILED IT! IT'S OVER!

Eddie Sensation - The ref counts! 1......... 2............. 3!!!!!!!!

Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and therefore moving on to the second round.... Arthryn!

WINNER: Arthryn w/ Lights Out, Bitch by Pinfall

The Informer - Wow! What a win for Arthryn! Eric Walther thought he had Arthryn finished, and Arthryn completely turned the tables on him!

Vic Canon - I can't believe that happened so fast! That shows how focused Arthryn was for this match!

Eddie Sensation - Blah blah blah! Enough with the praising! JUST PUT THE NEXT MATCH ON! THE ORDER VS KEN DOE! ITS A WAR WAITING TO HAPPEN!

The Informer - Yeah yeah, Eddie.... right after the commercial.....

[ The crowd goes into a surprising number of cheers as Alpha and Omega appear, standing backstage with Robert DiMarco. They've got the EWA Tag Team Titles over their shoulders, and smug expressions on their faces. ]

Rob DiMarco - Just a moment from now, you two are going to be getting the chance to prove your worth against the man you've been pledging allegiance to for over a month now; Ken Doe.

Omega - Tonight, we're going to show exactly WHY we've got these belts, and the reason IS NOT because they were given to us!

Alpha - Be it by Doe's hands or our own, we'd still be standing here together, tonight, with the titles over our shoulders.

Rob DiMarco - I'd say there's more on the line here tonight then your belts.

Alpha - Damn right.

Omega - It's a matter of pride, Robert. People say we're the mindless drones of a masterful deceptor. Tonight...they're proven wrong!

[ The scene changes as the two men intently walk off... ]

[ ...and it changes to their stablemate and "leader", Ken Doe, standing with his girlfriend, Hannah, on his left and Rachel Stevens on his right. He's got the Extreme Title around his waist, and the North American Title over his shoulder. ]

Rachel Stevens - We just heard from the Tag Champs, and Ken Doe, it seems pretty obvious that you're losing you're grip on them.

Ken Doe - Obvious....to the eyes of the ignorant, what is deemed "obvious" is rarely upheld.

Rachel Stevens - But you can't deny that they're sticking up for themselves!

Ken Doe - They are coming into their own, and like a father, I will guide them to spiritual maturity. These are but the slings and arrows of the youthful mind, but I know their hearts.

Rachel Stevens - But how are you going to takeon BOTH men at once?

Ken Doe - I have no worries about the physical battle. Someone will get hurt tonight...perhaps two people...but I can assure you that I will not be one of them.

Rachel Stevens - You're one cocky bastard!

Ken Doe - Rachel...you see these belts?

Rachel Stevens - Of cour--

Ken Doe - You know what they mean?

Rachel Stevens - No, wha--

Ken Doe - They mean I've earned the RIGHT to be cocky!

[ The double-champion storms of confidently, and his female friend lingers behind with her eyes disdainfully set on Stevens... ]

Hannah - And THAT means, you just got shut down...BITCH!

[ And with a snap of the fingers and quick spin around, Hannah walks off in pursuit of her man, leaving Stevens open-mouthed and fuming! ]

Chris Myers - The next match is a handicap content with the EWA Extreme, North American, and Tag Team Titles on the line!

[ Staind's "Just Go" starts up... ]

Chris Myers - Introducing first, from Chicago, Illinois and being accompanied to the ring by Hannah...he's the reigning EWA Extreme and North American Champion and leader of The Order...KEN DOE!

[ Ken Doe and Hannah walk out, and Doe's confidence in the face of a two-on-one match is surprising! ]

[ Black Sabbath's "Psycho Man" starts up... ]

Chris Myers - And his opponents, also representing The Order...the reigning EWA Tag Team Champions...ALPHA AND OMEGA!

[ The music plays, but it takes a moment for the two to show up. When they do, the crowd and commentators are stunned by the sight of the two men dragging a kicking and screaming Sean Gunn with them to the ring! ]

The Informer - Hey, what's going on here?!

Eddie Sensation - When was Sean Gunn a part of this match, or a part of ANYTHING concerning the Order?

Vic Canon - Damn, he's almost crying!

Eddie Sensation - I mean, this is a rookie who we've hardly even seen on EWA programming, and he's out here now in the midst of half the EWA's title belts?!

The Informer - I doubt the Order's gold is on his mind...

Vic Canon - These sickos don't look very "divided", do they?

The Informer - I was about to say...I think we've been played by the Order! Sean Gunn has been tossed into the ring, and Ken Doe is already attacking the kid with a flurry of kicks!

Eddie Sensation - The referee Lance King hasn't even called for the bell yet, he's so confused!

The Informer - Well, all three Order members are in the ring and are tearing into this poor young man! Now Ken Doe is walking away and taking a microphone from ringside!

Ken Doe - HEY YOU!

[ Ken Doe grabs the official by the shoulder and jerks him around! ]

Ken Doe - RING THE DAMN BELL!

[ The referee rushes over to the corner near the attendants' table and calls for the match to begin! ]

The Informer - Okay, WHAT is going on here?!

Eddie Sensation - Well...uhh...

Vic Canon - Wait, Stone said that if they didn't have the match, Doe'd be fired, right?

The Informer - Good job, Vic!

Eddie Sensation - I was gonna' say that!

Vic Canon - Rrrright!

The Informer - Omega's going up top now, and Alpha and Ken Doe are pulling Sean Gunn off the mat! They send him into the ropes, he bounces back...AND OMEGA WITH THE MISSILE DROPKICK! God, what impact!

Eddie Sensation - You add Gunn's velocity off the irish whip and Omega coming off the ropes, and that's a damn brutal move!

[ Doe picks up the microphone again... ]

Ken Doe - Pick his ass up! Send him to me...

The Informer - Ken Doe has a steel chair in his hands, and they're whipping Sean Gunn right at him! NO, DON'T DO THI--

Rob DiMarco - Standing with me now is the EWA International Champion, Nomad. Nomad, you're about to step in the ring with one of the EWA's most promising newcomers, Holden Raines. How do you feel about your draw in this tournament?

Nomad - How do I feel? I feel like I'm wasting my time, Rob. You know why? Because no matter how promising Holden Raines may be, it's just that. PROMISE. A promise has no value until the deed is done. My career isn't based on promise. I'm not spoken of in reference to "great potential". I am the time-tested veteran. I've fought wars in that ring that Holden can't possibly fathom. I don't need some booker with backstage pull to get me a prime spot on the card. I've worked my way up to where I am. And I came from the very fucking bottom. How are your parents, Rob?

Rob DiMarco - How are my parents?

Nomad - It's called English, Rob, and I'm fairly certain you speak it. How are your parents?

Rob DiMarco - They....they're fine, I guess. Fine.

Nomad - I DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING PARENTS!!! I was found in a dumpster behind a factory, wrapped in a wet newspaper. I WAS DISCARDED WITH THE TRASH. How is it possible for anyone to work their way up from trash....to the top of the wrestling world. How?

Rob DiMarco - ......

Nomad - DRIVE. PASSION. DETERMINATION. All these things served as the fuel for my engine of hate. The engine that propelled me to the top. I don't have "potential". No. I have more anger than any man before me. I have a desire to see the world cower at my feet. No, I'm not a top prospect like our good boy Holden Raines. There isn't any internet speculation about me. And do you know why? It's because everyone knows what to expect. No one has any question about what they get when they step through those ropes and see me standing across from them. Ask Serial Thrylla. Ask Clayton Chandler. Ask Eric Walther, or Zed, or Dino Delsante. Ask Cody Covington, if he's regained consciousness yet. What do you get from me? PAIN. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to illustrate this point to a promising new prospect....

[ Nomad walks past Rob and out of the interview room with utter determination ]

[ Backstage, Holden Raines stands with his back to the camera. Rachel Stevens is looking at him in a questioning fashion... ]

Rachel Stevens - Um, Holden...could you turn around?

Holden Raines - Why?

Rachel Stevens - Because...

[ Raines interrupts... ]

Holden Raines - Not good enough!

Rachel Stevens - Bu...

[ Raines interrupts... ]

Holden Raines - Leave.

[ Raines puts his hand in Stevens' face and grabs the mic. All the while standing with his back to the camera... ]

Holden Raines - Nomad....I have nothing to say about Nomad that I haven't said before. People in this company like to drag their own unoriginal promos down into ground by stating the same shit over and over, and over, and over again.

The Informer - [Quietly] We apologize for the foul language...

[ Raines finally turns around, with his cross necklace in his other hand. The necklace with the four spikes on each end. He digs it into his hand... ]

Holden Raines - FUCK YOU, NOMAD! FUCK YOU TO EVERY SINGLE EWA SUPERSTAR...AND ESPECIALLY...

Chris Myers - The next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a First Round match of the EWA World Title #1 Contender Tournament!

[ "Schism" by Tool blasts through the speakers... ]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'2" and weighing in at 230 pounds, from Cleveland, Ohio, Holden Raines!

[ Holden Raines and a cloaked figure steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]

The Informer - What's this?! Some cloaked figure is coming to the ring with Holden Raines!

Vic Canon - I wonder what this is all about.... maybe Raines has a plan for Nomad!

Eddie Sensation - Wait... he just left! That dude just took off through the crowd!

The Informer - That was strange.

[ "What You Got" by Reveille blasts through the speakers... ]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'2" and weighing in at 235 pounds, from New York, New York, Nomad!

[ Nomad steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]

[ Ding, Ding, Ding! ]

The Informer - Nomad gets into the ring... Holden Raines flies at him with a spinning heel kick and connects! Nomad quickly gets up... Raines attempts a cross body... Nomad catches him! Fallaway Slam!

Vic Canon - Nomad applies a Texas Cloverleaf on Holden Raines! Smart move by Nomad! He's going for the legs!

Eddie Sensation - Raines is already at the ropes! Nomad releases the hold!

The Informer - Nomad picks up Holden Raines... he lifts him high in the air.... BRIANBUSTER! He goes for the cover... 1.... 2.... No! Kickout by Holden Raines!

Vic Canon - Nomad applies a headlock, and squeezes down on it! Raines whips him to the ropes...

Eddie Sensation - Shoulder Tackle! Hahaha! Nomad nailed him!

The Informer - Nomad climbs to the middle rope... Raines is getting up... MOONSAULT OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE BY NOMAD!!!

Vic Canon - NO! NOMAD MISSES! Raines moved, and now he's quickly going to the top rope... LOOK OUT!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - SENTON BOMB!!! Holden Raines nailed it! Raines doesn't go for the cover, however... he picks Nomad back up, and puts him on the top rope! Holden Raines climbs up to the top....... OOOOH!!!

The Informer - Corkscrew Hurracanrana!!!! WHAT A MOVE! HE GOES FOR THE PIN... 1........ 2...... NO!! Nomad kicked out!!!

Vic Canon - Raines picks up Nomad... It looks like he's going for a Powerbomb!! He lifts Nomad... but Nomad shakes loose! Holden Raines turns around... UPPERCUT right to the jaw of Raines!

Eddie Sensation - Nice shot!

The Informer - Nomad picks up Raines and throws him over the top rope!

Vic Canon - Nomad follows him to the outside... and he throws Raines into the time keepers table! The referee is yelling at Nomad to get back into the ring!

Eddie Sensation - Nomad picks up Raines...

The Informer - LOOK OUT! BODY SLAM! Right into our table!! Vic, can you hear me?!

Vic Canon - I can hear ya!

The Informer - Eddie?

Eddie Sensation - Yo, I'm fine.

The Informer - Good. Nomad scrapes Raines off our table, and rolls him into the ring....

Vic Canon - Nomad is putting Raines up on the top rope!! What's he going to do?!

Eddie Sensation - Guys... I think we're the target here!

The Informer - WE BETTER NOT BE!

Vic Canon - Nomad lifts Raines... No! Raines locks his legs around Nomad's head... He twists around him, and stands behind him on the top rope!

Eddie Sensation - Nomad turns around.... OOH!!!! LOW BLOW BY RAINES!

The Informer - Raines manouvers around Nomad.... HE GRABS HIM! LOOK OUT!

Vic Canon - AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

[ The announce team move out of the way just in time for Raines to nail a top rope Double-Underhook Suplex through the table! ]

Eddie Sensation - HOLY SHIT!! THAT WAS CRAZY!

The Informer - RAINES AND NOMAD JUST CAME CRASHING THROUGH THE TABLE!!! WHAT AMAZING STRENGTH FROM HOLDEN RAINES!!!

Vic Canon - ARE THEY ALIVE?!

Eddie Sensation - I DON'T THINK SO!

The Informer - Holden Raines is bleeding from his head, and Nomad has a TV monitor on his face! I can't see if he's concious or not!

Vic Canon - I can't believe the referee hasn't called for the bell yet! This isn't a Hardcore Match!

Eddie Sensation - These two have taken a beating thus far! AND CHECK IT OUT! RAINES IS MOVING! SO IS NOMAD!

The Informer - They're both getting up slowly! I can't believe it! Nomad has a steel chair laying next to him... and he just grabbed it!

Vic Canon - Look out, Raines! Raines is on his feet, leaning on the steel ring post... waiting for Nomad!

Eddie Sensation - Nomad gets up, hiding the chair... AND SWINGS AT RAINES!

The Informer - RAINES DUCKS! And Nomad NAILS the ring post with the chair! The force causes Nomad to drop the chair!

Vic Canon - Raines grabs Nomad by the hair, and throws him into the ring!

Eddie Sensation - Nomad crawls in the ring on his hands and knees... and gets to his feet.

The Informer - Holden Raines rolls into the ring, and approaches Nomad. Nomad kicks him in the gut.... THE WANDERING! THE WANDERING! NOMAD NAILED RAINES WITH IT!!!!!!

Vic Canon - Nailed him? Didn't you see that Informer? Nomad barely got Raines! Holden was almost out of it! I wouldn't be surprised if Raines is just playing possom right now!

Eddie Sensation - Doesn't look like it... he's holding his head!

The Informer - [Shakes his head]..... Nomad is climbing to the top rope now!

Vic Canon - Here comes another high risk move!

Eddie Sensation - Raines is getting up slowly! Nomad is waiting for him!

The Informer - Nomad jumps! HURRACONRANA! NO! NO NO NO! RAINES REVERSES IT INTO A POWERBOMB! RAINES COVERS HIM!

Vic Canon - LOOK! HOLDEN RAINES IS USING THE ROPES FOR LEVERAGE! HE HAS BOTH HIS LEGS ON THE SECOND ROPE!

Eddie Sensation - 1.......... 2............... 3!!!!!!!

Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and therefore advancing to the second round... Holden Raines!

WINNER: Holden Raines w/ Powerbomb by Pinfall

The Informer - Look at Nomad! He's just sitting up in the ring, wondering what the hell just happened!

Vic Canon - I'm not sure if Nomad knows that Raines just cheated to win!

Eddie Sensation - Probably not.... do you think he's psychic?!

The Informer - I doubt it. Anyway... Holden Raines has advanced! Congratulations to him!

Vic Canon - Wait a minute.... we've got an update on Tiki Tortez!

[ We are brought backstage where Rob DiMarco is standing with an uneasy look on his face... ]

Rob DiMarco - Fans..... I hate to be the one to tell you this.... and in my heart, I believe that Tom Stone should be the PRICK who tells you all this.... but it's been pushed onto me....

The Informer - What's going on?! Just spit it out Rob!

Rob DiMarco - I wish it was that easy.... Fans, Tiki Tortez is in the hospital...... where he will be for who knows how long......

Vic Canon - IN ENGLISH! I CAN'T HANDLE THE SUSPENSE!

Rob DiMarco - Well.... in plain English..... "Tricky" Tiki Tortez is currently in a coma.

Eddie Sensation - WHAT?!

Rob DiMarco - Yeah.... pretty surprising.... I'd like to wish Tiki and his friends and family the best during this hard time. Back to you guys.

The Informer - I can't believe that.... Tiki Tortez is in a coma?!

[ Serial Thrylla is shown in the back working himself into a frenzy by launching lefts and rights into a near by locker. He is suddenly interupted by Rob DiMarco. ]

Rob DiMarco - Hey Buddy! Long time no see!

[ And Thrylla just shakes his head and glares right at him. ]

Serial Thrylla - ...

[ DiMarco is shaken by Thrylla's unexpected silence. ]

Rob DiMarco - Well, ummm, tonight you make your return to the ring against "The Original Outlaw" Vince DiNardo. Are you at all nervous about what may happen tonight?

Serial Thrylla - Maybe you've forgotten DiMarco, But I don't like your ass. Normally, I would have put you on your ass by now. However, it is holiday season, so I'll leave you standing, for now...

Rob DiMarco - Geez, than...

[ Thrylla brings a finger over DiMarco's mouth to quiet him. He stares at him for approximately a minute. Then, Thrylla looks at the clock on the wall and proceeds to launch DiMarco into the lockers he was just lacing into. You can here the crowd cheering for his antics from the arena. ]

Serial Thrylla - Anyways, to answer your question... Am I nervous? Absolutely not. Vinny D, I can predict the future with 100% accuracy. And I am telling you and the rest of the world, that I will absolutely and positively destroy you tonight. I am guaranteeing victory. In fact, I'm so sure that I'm going to wipe the floor with you... That if for some reason I do lose tonight, I'll END MY COMEBACK just as quick as it began. Because, the only way I'm going to lose is if I die on my way to the ring tonight... And if that happens, all bets are off anyways.

[ Thrylla reaches down towards DiMarco and revives him a bit. ]

Serial Thrylla - Well, what's your next question?

[ With slurred speech, DiMarco responds. ]

Rob DiMarco - Uhhmmm, Vinny D has... been.. on tear recently. He's got the momen..tum.. in his.. favor. How do you... plan to stop him?

Serial Thrylla - Vinny D hasn't been on a tear recently! The only thing he's torn apart is a perfectly happy marriage. What the hell has Vinny D done with himself since this place re-opened its doors? He's been a menace to family values! Vince DiNardo does not need the EWA World Heavyweight title to complete his career and fulfill his destiny. Vince DiNardo needs help. He needs a social worker, psychologist... and based on the domestic violence he's been delivering audiences nation wide recently... He's going to need a good lawyer.

[ Thrylla looks down at DiMarco yet again. DiMarco is slowly starting to come to. ]

Serial Thrylla - Any last words hotshot???

Rob DiMarco - Yes, why did you come back. And don't you think you may be underestimating Vinny D?

Serial Thrylla - Because DiMarco, I'm God. You didn't forget, did you? This time, I'm on a mission. It started last Tuesday with Ethan Tyler and it is going to end at Rage In A Cage with Ethan Tyler. Vince DiNardo is just a short chapter in the book of Thrylla. And tonight, that chapter comes to an abrupt close.

Chris Myers - The next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a First Round match of the EWA World Title #1 Contender Tournament!

[ "Killing In The Name Of" by Rage Against The Machine blasts through the speakers... ]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'8" and weighing in at 287 pounds, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, "The Original Outlaw" Vinny D!

[ "The Original Outlaw" Vinny D steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]

Rob DiMarco - Ok fans, here I am with "The Original Outlaw" Vinny D.... And for some reason, we're in the ring. Vinny D says he requested it this way though. So, Vinny, your thoughts on your match tonight with EWA legend Serial Thrylla??

"The Original Outlaw" Vinny D - Rob, make sure there's security round here, cause I have these weird feeling someone's watching me.... That's why I asked to be out here, I feel a little more comfortable, Stone has it in for me, and backstage ain't the safest place in the world.... Now Thrylla, me and you, like I've said, we go way back....

The Informer - Uhh.. folks... we've seen this once before.

[ The lights in the arena go black as "Sad but True" by Metallica plays through the arena speakers. ]

Vic Canon - Here we go again... Vinny has pissed Deuce off to the point of no return.

Eddie Sensation - We don't know its Deuce, Vinny D destroyed Deuce.. he ain't coming back... there's no coming back!

[ As Vic finishes his sentence the letters BDD start to slowly fade into the EWA big screen. As the letters fade up so does the voice of James Hettfield. ]