[ The camera brings us to a shot of the EWA symbol, which quickly fades to black. We then see a montage of clips of old and new EWA superstars walking, talking, and doing what they do best--fighting. After a 2-3 minute video is shown, a brand new EWA Tuesday Night Heat video is played. Many clips of past matches, current superstars and pyro are shown. We are then brought to a shot of inside the Civic Center in Mobile, Alabama, where THOUSANDS upon THOUSANDS of fans have flooded the Civic Center. After a quick view of the fans signs, we are brought to a shot of the announcer's table, where The Informer, Vic Canon and Eddie Sensation are ready to kick of Tuesday Night Heat. ]
The Informer - WELCOME FANS, TO TUESDAY NIGHT HEAT!!!!
Vic Canon - AS YOU ALL WELL KNOW, YOU WON'T REGRET WATCHING THE TELEVISION OVER THE NEXT TWO HOURS! BOY OH BOY, DO WE HAVE A SHOW FOR YOU!
Eddie Sensation - Hell yeah! Chandler vs. Nomad?! That's a god damn Supercard Main Event!
The Informer - Well Eddie, what can I say. Every Tuesday Night Heat IS a Super Card! Tonight fans, we have 5 matches for you.
Vic Canon - Don't be disgruntled by the number, that means nothing! I'll guarantee you that we'll have over 7 matches tonight! Who knows who's going to walk down the entrance ramp and call someone out?!
Eddie Sensation - ETHAN TYLER WILL! THAT'S WHO!
The Informer - Indeed. We'll hear from Ethan Tyler and Johnny Hardcore tonight, I'm sure. Also, we have a #1 Contender Match for the Television Title with 4 rookies here in the EWA... it's there chance to prove themselves here in the EWA!
Vic Canon - Also, Charles Christopher Carroll will defend his North American Title against El GiGnate!!
Eddie Sensation - NICKY D is in the house! He'll rip apart La Parka tonight!
The Informer - And, the Vacant Extreme Title will go home with a new owner tonight! Bio-Hazard or Anton Bailey!
Vic Canon - I can't wait to find out who! This is going to be great! LETS BEGIN!
Eddie Sensation - With what, Informer?
The Informer - You'll find out in 10 seconds, Eddie! ENJOY THE SHOW FANS!
[ The lights in the arena slowly fade to black and at that same moment the big screen goes to static. The fans rise in anticipation as the EWA big screen goes from static to a black screen ... and an aqua 'c' appears. A ticking noise fills the speakers ... with each tick ... the volume rises. Next to the letter 'c' a silver number '0' appears.. ]
{-¤-} c0 ... tick ...
c1 ... Tick ...
c2 ... TIck ...
c3 ... TICk ...
c4 ... TICK TICK TICK ... KA-BOOM! {-¤-}
[ The c4 logo explodes and the sound rocks the arena. The fans in attendance all give a tremendous response as '"My Own Summer(Shove It)" by The Deftones plays over the speakers. Suddenly a bunch of aqua pyro bombs rain onto the metal platform and once they are over and the smoke clears, "Crystal Clear" Cody Covington is standing there. The lights turn back on as c4 slowly walks to ringside. He's wearing khaki shorts, a black shirt that reads 'Mid-Card' on it in big white letters, underneath that in silver are the words "Held Back?" And on the back in big white letters it reads '1:23' underneath it in aqua letters is 'J-O-B.' He's covering his sleepless eyes with his trademarked silver framed, aqua lensed Oakleys. He gets to the ring and walks around it to the steps, slapping the fans hands on the way. The announcer hands him the microphone while he is on the apron and then he steps over the middle ropes. Cody walks straight to the middle of the ring and raises the microphone to speak... ]
c4 - Who didn't see this coming? I mean Christ, I held the greatest title known to this sport for a total of ten days. And what happened then? Someone else in Nomad's position decided to steal all the glory and interrupt my first defense ... TAKING away all that I thrived for my entire wrestling career. As always, I got PISSED on then just like I got pissed on last week. Now I'd like you all to direct your attention to the EWA big screen so I can refresh your memories of what should have been my first SUCCESSFUL title defense...
[ Covington lowers the microphone and looks over at the EWA big screen. It activates revealing the ending of c4's first world title defense... ]
The Informer - Covington kicks him in the face!! Hustler stumbles backwards... Covington grabs him............. CLEARLY CRIPPLING!!! CLEARLY CRIPPLING!!!
Vic Canon - HE NAILED IT!! GO FOR THE COVER CODY!! GO FOR THE PIN!!!!
[ Blackout ]
The Informer - What the hell?!?!?
Vic Canon - Someone cut the ligh--
Eddie Sensation - HEY, DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!!!!
[ Four fuchsia and cyan pyro bombs explode from each corner ring post. ]
The Informer - WHAT THE...... HELL... THIS ISN'T ON TONIGHT'S FORMA.....
[ 3 letters, D - F - A, are flashed down ominously upon Cody Covington and The Hustler. ]
Vic Canon - NO WAY IN HELL... BACK FROM THE DEAD!?!??!
[ "Serial Thrilla" by Prodigy streams over the Extreme Wrestling Association's sound system. ]
Crowd - D-F-A!, D-F-A!, D-F-A!, D-F-A!, D-F-A!
The Informer - IT'S GOTTA BE... IT'S GOTTA BE HIM....
[ The Arena lighting finally illuminates the once darkened arena. However, not even a return from darkness can silence the fans or the music. ]
Eddie Sensation - JESUS, MARY, AND JOSEPH, IT'S ACTUALLY HIM!!
The Informer - IT... IS... SERIAL THRYLLA!
[ A familiar warrior stands at the breadth of the entrance. Our man is clad in black combat boots, blue jeans, a ReVoLuTiOn~X T-shirt, black leather jacket, and trademark Oakleys with a black frame cyan colored lenses. ]
The Informer - COVINGTON IS STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING... IT'S LIKE HE'S IN A TRANCE OF SHOCK!
Eddie Sensation - Check out the Rev-X T-shirt baby!
Vic Canon - I don't get it... Why is he here???
[ Serial Thrylla takes four brief strides down the isle way ramp, gives a menacing grin, and points to Covington and The Hustler. ]
The Informer - COVINGTON HAS HIS EYES LOCKED ON THRYLLA!!! BUT LOOK BEHIND HIM!! THE HUSTLER IS UP!!! TURN AROUND CODY!!!
Vic Canon - THE HUSTLER ROLLS UP CODY.... 1.......... 2.......... 3!!!! YES!! NEW CHAMPION!! NEW CHAMPION!!
Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and NEW EWA Heavyweight Champion, The Hustler!
[ The screen fades to black and goes back to c4 inside the ring. He turns his attention to the announce table and walks over to the side of the ring closest to them and he leans against the ropes. ]
c4 - Who was that Informer, who cost me the match?
The Informer - Well, Serial Thrylla just made his return to EWA that night.
c4 - Nope... [Imitating The Informer from the footage] IT... WAS... SERIAL THRYLLA!
[ The crowd cheers loudly. ]
c4 - And... IT... WAS... BULLSHIT!
[ c4 pauses to take a breath while returning to the center of the ring, biting his lower lip. ]
c4 - It may seem as if I can't get over that day, that I'm living in the past. But I have NEVER have forgotten it, it has been tearing me up inside since it happened... and I will NEVER forgive Serial Thrylla for interrupting my match, stealing the spotlight that I only had for what seemed like minutes. And when he does finally retires next month... I only have one thing to say to him...
[ c4 take a short pause. ]
c4 - GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE!!
[ The crowd boos the usual favorite c4 for the first time in months. ]
c4 - Just as Serial Thrylla did last April 4th... his BUDDY Nomad did just last week on Tuesday Night Heat, distracting me during a title defense enabling my opponent to get me from behind. Its like I can never get a break here in the EWA. Anytime I get a bit of success its ripped from me in a matter of one week. I never got back at Thrylla for what he did, but as far as Nomad is concerned... I'm going to make him regret what he has done to me. Winning the Television Championship was like a new beginning for my career, a chance to 'shine' once again. I proved myself to the world that I still have what it takes to become a champion. But with Nomad taking it all away... things will only get better after I kick his ass and take back MY International Championship!!
[ Covington lowers the microphone and receives a great response from the fans in attendance. He grins and continues. ]
c4 - Now that I think about it, the Television Title is minor... BELOW my standards. Howell, I'd like to be the first to congratulate you and I wish you good luck on your weekly title defenses. EVEN IF your only conducting an interview on tonight's lineup... ya damn crock.
[ c4 removes his Oakleys, revealing the unhealthy state he is in. The whites in his eyes are barely visible, they are almost completely bloodshot. In addition, black bags are extremely visible underneath his eyes. He tucks the shades onto the collar of his shirt. ]
c4 - Nomad, I have to give you credit though... you at least had a 'motive' to cost me the gold. Sure, I do "claim" to be the greatest International Champion to ever grace the EWA, and I STAND by it! Hell, in my third showing in the EWA I captured that title and held onto it for its LONGEST streak ever... one-hundred and sixty days. I may have only held the title ONCE but I had one hell of a title run. Then you went on to point out that your now the longest International title holder in history. Is that something to have pride in? My streak had meaning to it, I defended the title on a regular basis while the majority of yours only exists because of the hiatus EWA went through. So, you get the point? My streak equals meaningful. Your streak equals SHIT! But what is in the statistics? I will once again PROVE myself to the world that I am the greatest International Champion the EWA has ever had. There may be some who disagree... but at "EWA: Family Reunion," whoever emerges the International Champion... will be the one who has earned their bragging rights, and truly be known as the greatest International Champion.
[ Covington puts his Oakleys back on. ]
c4 - Nomad, I hope you realize what you have done. Last week you lit something inside of me, much like lighting the wick of a stick of TNT. There's no telling when it will explode... but I have a good feeling that wick will run out at EWA: Family Reunion. When c4 hits you... your world will be BLOWN apart!
[ Cody drops the microphone and as soon as it hits the mat, "My Own Summer(Shove It)" by the Deftones erupts through the speakers. c4 makes his way to the top turnbuckle and poses for the cheering fans. ]
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
[ The camera cuts backstage to the locker room of "Crystal Clear" Cody Covington. He's sitting on a wooden bench next to Ronny Garbage. ]
Ronny Garbage - Hey Cody, you already cut your interview... so why are we even sticking around?
[ c4 smacks Ronny in the back of the head. ]
c4 - Well, isn't that obvious you moron? I have a favor to return to a "friend" of mine.
Ronny Garbage - Who?! You have no friends...
c4 - Damn, your hopeless. Let me put this in laymens terms... I want to "watch" the main event match.
Ronny Garbage - Can't you just watch it on television from the limo?
[ A muffled telephone ring can be heard. Cody reaches into his nearby gym bag... ]
c4 - Saved by the bell...
[ Cody flips the phone open... ]
c4 - Yeah?
[ Short pause. ]
c4 - Could you put her on the phone please?
[ Another short pause. Cody closes the phone and drops it into his gym bag, he zips it up and heads for the door. ]
Ronny Garbage - Who was that?
c4 - Some flight attendant "claiming" they gave Gen a ticket. Lets go check it out.
[ Cody and Ronny rush out of the locker room. The camera cuts into another locker room, the camera is zoomed in on the back of someone's head who is on a cell phone. It swings around to get a front view of the person to reveal the face of Nomad, he presses a button on the phone and sets it down next to him. ]
Nomad - What a jackass. Now that he's out of the way, I have a fair shot against Chandler.
[ The camera cuts back to ringside. ]
| Pre-Match Interview with Rocky Blonde
|
Rob DiMarco - Hey Rocky how you doing?
Rocky Blonde - Not to bad Rob, how can I help you?
Rob DiMarco - Well Tom sent me here to get an interview done before your match, you know like always.
Rocky Blonde - Not like always, no one interviewed me last week. What is it? Only when that punk feels like it, I get interviewed? Probabbly because I'm pissed at him about my chocolate bar business, well I don't care, one day I'm going to beat him with one of my chocolate bars. Forget that now I got more important things to worry about. What do you want to know?
Rob DiMarco - Well about your match tongiht, what do you think about your opponents in tonights match?
Rocky Blonde - What those pitiful fools? These idiots? Once again, 2 no shows, and fucked up mother fucker who comes out of jail, and decides that he wants to fight. What a joke! Scythe, tonight we go head to head, and as I said before, you sound like a smart man but I could be wrong. But tonight, I can gurantee you that you will be the first man I go after, as for the other 2; Stefan Knight and The Zodiac, who cares. Zodiac--I was in a match with you last week, I've seen you in action, and I'll give you credit, you can fight but tonight will be entertaining has I lift you to the top rope and give you the ENTRANCE TO PARADISE. Stefan Knight, if you decide to show up you will get the same. Enough of this shit I got a match to go to.
[ Rocky goes into his gym bag and pulls two of his chocolate bars and gives one to DiMarco ]
Rocky Blonde - Eat it, they're fucking amazing.
| Pre-Match Interview with The Zodiac
|
[ Rachel Stevens is seen standing next to The Zodiac backstage. ]
Rachel Stevens - So Zodiac, we haven't seen much of you, but what we have seen, was quite interesting, any explaination for cutting your hand before last weeks Heat?
The Zodiac - Well Rachel, I had the confidence to do that, going up against people like Shawn Carter isn't a hard task, and last week was a flaw. If I have to cut my hand before every match just to prove myself to each and everyone of these people that don't believe in me, that don't fear me, then I will. Cutting my hand was the least of my worries, and had no effect on my match last week.
Rachel Stevens - You had a strong showing last week none-the-less. Can we expect the same hostility as last week?
The Zodiac - To think otherwise would be stupid. I'm not going to let last week get to me either. Sure I lost to Shawn Carter, but where is Shawn Carter now? Someone was scared of the pain that were coming his way. The rule is blood for blood Rachel, he knew that. If he wants to think of himself as a man, if he wants to call himself a man, he will show back up here and take what's coming to him. No matter what I will find him.
Rachel Stevens - It is a grave "misfortune" that Shawn Carter is no longer in our presence. Yeah, right. Well, you're match is about to start, you better get going, good luck!
| Pre-Match Interview with Scythe
|
[ We enter the dressing room of Scythe. Rob DiMarco is standing with his microphone in hand, and he is sweating profusely. He is pale as a ghost and looks like he is about to vomit. The man called Scythe has his back turned to the camera and appears to be smoking a cigarette. DiMarco looks down at him through the corner of his eye then back up at the camera. ]
Rob DiMarco - I can't do this.... I can't do this.... I can't do this...
Camera Man - Rob, we gotta start rolling tape in 10 seconds man! If Stone doesn't get these interviews he gets hella pissed!
Rob DiMarco - Oh God... this is too much, even for me...
Camera Man - Rolling in 3.... 2.... 1....
Rob DiMarco - Rob... errr... Rob... errr.... Rob...
Camera Man - Rob DiMarco!
Rob DiMarco - Rob DiMarco here ladies and gentlemen, in the dressing room of the newest member of the EWA, Scythe. Errrr... hey, um, man. What... whatcha doin'?
[ The camera pans around to face Scythe, and we see him taking a cigarette and burning himself on the forearm. There are quite a few burn marks on his skin, all scabby and black. ]
Camera Man - AWWW SHIT!!!
Rob DiMarco - I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU! C'MON! LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
[ Scythe grabs the camera man before he can escape as DiMaco bolts out of the door. ]
Scythe - I love the smell of burning flesh in the morning. Anytime for that matter. See the pain I cause to myself? Think you can match that, EWA? I want you too. I'm BEGGING you! Hurt me, hit me, beat me! Please! Ooooh yeah! Awwww yes! I'm getting excited just at the thought.
[ Scythe looks into the camera with eyes alaze. Insanity lurks just beneath the surface. ]
Scythe - Time to release the demons...
#1 Contender Match (Television Title)
Rocky Blonde VS Stefan Knight VS Scythe VS The Zodiac
|
Chris Myers - This next match is an elimination match, as is for the rights to be the #1 Contender for the Television Championship!
[ "Cowboys from Hell" by Pantera blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'1" and weighing in at 235 pounds, from Brooklyn, New York, Rocky Blonde!
[ Rocky Blonde steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - Here comes the Entrepreneur, Rocky Blonde! His business is going well!
Vic Canon - What the hell is an entrepre--whatever!
Eddie Sensation - You idiot! It's someone who started, and has their own business! Dumbass!
[ "It's Been A While" by Staind blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Next... standing 6'1" and weighing in at 230 pounds, from Truth or Consequences, New Mexico, Scythe!
[ Scythe steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - Guys, I've heard nothing but bad things about this man. Scythe is a psychotic lunatic!
Vic Canon - And I heard he's one hell of a wrestler!
Eddie Sensation - That's not a good mix.
[ "Click Click Boom" by Saliva blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Next... standing 6'1" and weighing in at 221 pounds, from Baltimore, Maryland, Stefan Knight!
[ Stefan Knight steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - I've heard nothing, or seen nothing of Stefan Knight.
Vic Canon - Neither have I.
Eddie Sensation - He really has no idea what he just screwed up.
[ "Blood of the Zodiac" by Machine Head blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Lastly... standing 6'3" and weighing in at 233 pounds, from San Francisco, California, The Zodiac!
[ The Zodiac steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - And here comes The Zodiac. He's a good competitor, and is always there at the end... but he always gets beat but just enough!
Vic Canon - Basically, if he trained a bit harder, he'd be winning instead of losing.
Eddie Sensation - Just like Vic... if he went to school instead of dropping out in grade 12, he wouldn't get made fun of!
The Informer - EDDIE!
Vic Canon - SHUT THE HELL UP!
[ Ding, Ding, Ding! ]
Eddie Sensation - HAHA! THERE'S THE BELL! HAHA!!!
The Informer - Rocky Blonde charges at Stefan Knight! Scythe does the same to The Zodiac!
Vic Canon - The Zodiac nails Scythe with a clothesline... Rocky Blonde kicks Knight in the junk, and lifts him.... RUNNING POWERBOMB!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - Zodiac with a dropkick on Scythe!
The Informer - Rocky Blonde sets up Stefan Knight on the top rope..... LOOK OUT!!!!!!
Vic Canon - THE ENTRANCE TO PARADISE!!!! BLONDE NAILED IT!!!! He covers him!
Eddie Sensation - 1..... 2........ 3!
Chris Myers - STEFAN KNIGHT has been eliminated!
The Informer - And just like that, we're down to three!
Vic Canon - Scythe charges at The Zodiac... LOOK OUT!!!!! BACK BODY DROP, RIGHT OVER THE TOP ROPE!
Eddie Sensation - But Scythe landed on his feet! Good shit right there by Scythe!
The Informer - SPEAR BY ROCKY BLONDE!!!! The Zodiac didn't see it coming!
Vic Canon - Oh shit... guys, Scythe has a chair!
Eddie Sensation - Oh great. Maybe he'll cut his own forhead open too!
The Informer - Rocky Blonde has The Zodiac... he throws him to the corner! NO! Zodiac Reverses! NO! Reversed again!
Vic Canon - SQUASH! And the referee goes down after being sandwiched in the corner!
Eddie Sensation - WHAM!!!!!! HAHA!! WHAT A SHOT!
The Informer - SCYTHE JUST NAILED THE ZODIAC WITH THAT STEEL CHAIR!!!!!
Vic Canon - WHACK!!!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - WHAT THE SHIT?!?!! SCYTHE JUST HIT HIMSELF WITH THE CHAIR!! IS THIS GUY STUPID?!?!
The Informer - That kind of stuff will make him stupid! Look guys, the referee is getting up! I guess he didn't get hit as hard as we thought!
Vic Canon - Well, these guys aren't the biggest wrestlers the EWA has either! Rocky Blonde has The Zodiac.... he sets him up.... LOOK OUT!
Eddie Sensation - RUNNING POWERBOMB!
The Informer - INTO A PIN! The referee counts... 1..... 2..... 3!
Chris Myers - THE ZODIAC has been eliminated!
Vic Canon - LOOK OUT! SCYTHE IS IN THE RING WITH THAT STEEL CHAIR!
Eddie Sensation - WHAM!!!!!! HAHAHAH!!! HE JUST NAILED THE REFEREE FROM BEHIND!!!!
The Informer - MY GOD! DOWN GOES LEE FLEMING, OUR EWA OFFICIAL! Get another referee down here! This guy needs to be taken away!
Vic Canon - Uh oh! Look out Rocky Blonde! Scythe's got a steel chair, and he knows how to use it!
Eddie Sensation - Scythe swings!
The Informer - Rocky Blonde ducks.... kicks Scythe in the gut.... DDT!!!!
Vic Canon - And now Rocky Blonde has a hold of that chair! Scythe is up..... WHAM!!!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - HOLY SHIT! WHAT A SHOT! AND SCYTHE IS STILL UP!!!
The Informer - WHAM!!!!!! ROCKY BLONDE NAILS HIM AGAIN WITH THE CHAIR, RIGHT IN THE HEAD! WHAM!!!!!!!! AND ANOTHER!!!!!!!!
Vic Canon - GUYS, SCYTHE IS SMILING! HE LIKES IT!!! WHAT KIND OF REJECT DID THE EWA PICK UP?!?!?
Eddie Sensation - WHAM!!!!!! AND ROCKY BLONDE NAILS HIM AGAIN!!!!! SCYTHE IS STILL STANDING! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!!!!
The Informer - Rocky Blonde is reaching back.... he's going to hit him with everything that he has! .....WHAM!!!!!!!
Vic Canon - NO! SCYTHE DUCKS! He kicks Rocky Blonde in the gut... Blonde catches his leg! .........HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! ENZIGURI!!!!!!!! RIGHT ON THE MARK!!!!! ROCKY BLONDE WENT DOWN LIKE A SAC OF POTATOS!
Eddie Sensation - No matter how screwed up this guy is, I have to give it to him.... that was amazing!
The Informer - Scythe is climing to the top rope! What's he got in store for Rocky Blonde?!
Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!!!!!!!! ........TOP ROPE TUMBLEWEED GUILLOTINE LEG DROP!!!!!!!! HE NAILED IT!!!!! IT'S OVER!
Eddie Sensation - And here comes another referee! He slides into the ring... Scythe covers Blonde..... 1..... 2..... 3!
Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and #1 Contender for the Television Title.... Scythe!
WINNER: Scythe w/ Top Rope Tumbleweed Guillotine Leg Drop by Pinfall
The Informer - Wait a minute... Scythe doesn't seem to care that he won! He's got that steel chair, and he's looking in Rocky Blonde's direction!
Vic Canon - Scythe lifts the chair.... WHAM!!!!!!! OH NO!!!!! HE JUST NAILE LANCE KING, OUR SECOND REFEREE!!!!!! BOTH REFEREE'S ARE OUT, AND SO IS ROCKY BLONDE!
Eddie Sensation - Wait! Fleming is getting to his feet! Lee Fleming is up! Time for some old school whoop ass!
The Informer - WHAM!!!!!!!!! Or maybe not! Scythe just nailed Fleming with that steel chair! He's gone crazy!
Vic Canon - No, Informer... he always was!
Eddie Sensation - What's he doing? He's setting up the referee's in the middle of the ring!
The Informer - Oh shit.... the referee's are set up with their head's in the center of the ring, and their legs at opposite ends.... can you say DOUBLE Top Rope Tumbleweed Guillotine Leg Drop?!
Vic Canon - Oh no! PLEASE NO! GET SOME HELP DOWN HERE!!!!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - He's up top, and he's calling for it! LOOK OUT!!!!!!!!
The Informer - ............AND HE NAILED IT!!!!!!!!! DOUBLE TOP ROPE TUMBLEWEED GUILLOTINE LEG DROP!!!!!!!!
Vic Canon - And he's STILL NOT DONE!!!!!! Scythe is climbing on top of Rocky Blonde! WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING?!
Eddie Sensation - HE'S TRYING TO RIP HIS EYE BALLS OUT OF HIS SOCKETS!!!!! THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!!!
The Informer - AND HERE COMES SOME EWA STAFF!! About 12 guys are coming down here! They're in the ring.... Scythe charges at them!
Vic Canon - YES!!!! MACE IN THE EYES OF SCYTHE!!!! HE'S GETTING WHAT HE DESERVES!
Eddie Sensation - Scythe's getting the hell out of here! He just rolled out of the ring, and is taking off! He can't see, but he's headed backstage!
The Informer - MY GOD! We need some help down here! Go backstage, go to a commercial, DO SOMETHING!
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
[ Leon Sharpe is seen walking around backstage. ]
Leon Sharpe - Gotta find something to do.....
[ Sharpe turns a corner, and see's nothing that catches his attention. ]
Leon Sharpe - Well, at least this is better than those stupid North American Title Matches...
[ Sharpe continues wandering, as we fade to black. ]
[ We are brough to a shot of backstage, where Shawn Carter can be seen entering the Civic Center through the rear doors. ]
The Informer - What the hell is Shawn Carter doing here?
Vic Canon - Good question. He quit the EWA earlier this week because he didn't get scheduled on Heat. I guess he's going to make sure that he IS on Heat!
Eddie Sensation - Hey... couldn't he be charged for trespassing?
The Informer - Sure could! We'll keep an eye on Carter and update you when something happens.
The Informer - Last week on Tuesday Night Heat, the EWA was shocked by the "return" of La Parka. For the many long-time fans of the EWA who might remember, La Parka was around in the EWA's glory days. Most people remember him for his comedic ways, but in the end, he always found a way to get the job done. But last week… right here on Heat, there was a totally new dimension of La Parka added to the history books, wasn't there Vic?
Vic Canon - You'd better believe there was, Informer! Long-gone are the days of La Parka being the comic-relief of the EWA. Absolutely nothing was funny about this man's threats against the Extreme Wrestling Association, and especially Tom Stone himself. He came out and bashed many of the EWA's greats for standing behind Tom even though, as La Parka claimed, Tom is a mind-manipulator and a cheat. I don't see that as the truth at all.
Eddie Sensation - You know… I gotta kinda say that La Parka did bring up some good points, but who knows if he's going about getting his message across the right way. Sure, the EWA has ALWAYS had it's bashers! The people on the outside who were never good enough to make it in and make a name for themselves… they'll always bash the EWA. But coming in, bashing the EWA… and then claiming you're goin' to leave a mark that very same night. And I've got to say that right here, right now… La Parka has BALLS for singling out "The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante.
The Informer - Diamante has always been an EWA loyalist when it came down to it, and I guess that La Parka felt he'd go after one of the real cornerstones of the EWA right off the bat to make his mark.
Vic Canon - Leave his mark? Informer… is that what you're calling attacking Nick Diamante from behind and re-injuring his knee? It was one of the most cowardly acts, and one of the cheapest attempts to get your name bounced around that I've ever seen.
Eddie Sensation - Cheap… but effective, Vic.
The Informer - Call it what you will, but tonight something serious will be done about this situation. Tonight, "The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante and La Parka will square off in a Steel Chair Challenge Match. Apparently, this is La Parka's favorite match when it comes down to settling an issue.
Vic Canon - How does it work?
The Informer - Well, we're told that there are only 2 ways to end the match. You can pin your opponent or get him to submit… OR, you can use any steel chair in the building to knock out your opponent and render them unconscious to the point where they cannot answer the officials 10-count.
Eddie Sensation - Damn!
The Informer - It's definitely going to be a first here in the Extreme Wrestling Assoc…
ENOUGH!
Vic Canon - What in the world?
So… YOU THINK ONE LITTLE CHAIR SHOT TO THE KNEE IS GONNA STOP ME?! Ethan Tyler couldn't do it. And I'll be DAMNED if this La Parka idiot will!
[ Just then, "The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante appears on the EWA video wall. All decked out in a black Philadelphia Flyers jersey and black denim jeans with an EWA hat on his head turned backwards, he's sitting in the middle of the main backstage area with an ice-pack on his left knee, and a steel chair in his other hand... ]
Eddie Sensation - IT'S THE DIAMOND STUD!
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE IT'S THE DIAMOND STUD! IT'S ONE PISSED OFF DIAMOND STUD! Ya know, I can tolerate young punks trying to make a name for themselves at my expense. Remember Al Capone?? HE TOOK THE SAME PATH! HE TRIED TO MAKE A NAME FOR HIMSELF BY USING DIAMANTE… but the poor punk failed. And now we have La Parka. Some punk under a mask threatening my well-being, and the well-being of the entire Extreme Wrestling Association?!
[ Diamante pauses and looks down at his knee for a minute… ]
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - MY WELL-BEING?! Who cares… that's a minor detail. I can live with people trying to take me out. This is Wrestling and that's the nature of the beast. BUT WHEN SOME SOMBRERO-TOTTING, GREEN CARD-FLASHING PIECE… OF GLORIFIED… LATINO… MOTHER-F*CKING TRASH… ENTERS THIS COMPANY…
The Informer - Nick, please! The Language!
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - …MY COMPANY! A PLACE ME… AND MANY OTHERS HAVE BUSTED OUR ASSES TO BUILD FROM THE GROUND UP…
[ Diamante, in an obviously shaken frame of mind, looks down at the chair he's holding and begins to nod. Suddenly, "TDS" viciously hurls the chair across the open area with screams of innocent EWA employees heard in the background… ]
Vic Canon - He's lost it!
[ "The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante now stands up off the chair he was sitting on in the open backstage area, and begins to smile as he calms down a bit. Nick raises his left leg up slightly off the floor and grimaces in pain before shaking his head "no" and speaking again… ]
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - No, that's where you're wrong, Canon. I haven't lost it. Some may claim I've never had it to begin with, but it all boils down to one thing. The HERE…. and the NOW. Right now, at this very second, I'm standing here… vulnerable. My knee is busted up a bit… I've just tossed away my best form of defense for this situation… and as I stand here I'm over-whelmed by a feeling of security. I'm totally content. I know that I could very easily be attacked by that same refugee that jumped me last week. I'm fully aware of what could happen… but totally content in the knowledge of what… WON'T happen.
Eddie Sensation - Nick, I don't get it! What do you mean? La Parka could easily attack you right now and get a tremendous advantage going into your match tonight!
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - EDDIE, HE DOESN'T HAVE THE BALLS TO COME BACK HERE AND ATTEMPT TO FINISH THE JOB HE SHOULD HAVE LAST WEEK! WHOEVER THIS IDIOT IS……………………
[ Nick smiles into the camera… ]
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - …he doesn't understand the mentality… OF A SUPER HERO! MY MENTALITY! They say you never tug on Superman's cape, and that's a given. La Parka knows that to piss of "The Diamond Stud", it doesn't take much. But to do something to the Precious Rock of Pro Wrestling that'll make him lose sleep… it just doesn't happen. LA PARKA… I'LL BE HERE ALLLLLLLLLLL NIGHT… Waiting… wondering… hoping… praying. Come take you a piece of this rock. Take you a WHOOOOOOOOLE slab. Bring it home to the family, show it off to the in-laws. But come to me… right here. Don't make me have to come to you.
[ Diamante sits down and crosses his arms waiting for La Parka to attack him… ]
The Informer - My goodness, fans! "The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante is ready to get a piece of La Parka RIGHT NOW! It doesn't look like he can wait for the Steel Chair Challenge later on!
| Pre-Match Interview with El GiGante
|
[ Backstage is EWA's interviewer Rob DiMarco walking around backstage. His facial expressions show he's angry. We listen in as he talks to himself. ]
Rob DiMarco - Sometimes Stone really pisses me off! I wish he could get his guys on schedule. Every time I'm scheduled to interview someone they're never on time and no where to be found.
Voice - What's the Rob? You say your pissed at Stone?
[ Standing against the wall on the right of Rob is the beautiful and talented Rachel Stevens. She smiles at Rob and walks up to him ]
Rob DiMarco - [Confused] What's that Rachel?
Rachel Stevens - I hear your pissed at Mr. Stone. Is that true?
[ DiMarco stares at Rachel like she's crazy. ]
Rachel Stevens - I always knew you weren't man enough to own up to anything.
Rob DiMarco - Oh really?
Rachel Stevens - Yes really!
Rob DiMarco - OK then.... Yes, I am a little ticked at the way Stone is running things this time around.
Rachel Stevens - [Smiles] I knew it!
Rob DiMarco - Why do you care?
Voice - Silence mangs!
- CAMERA CHANCE -
[ Entering the arena is none other then da "Soul SurViVa" El GiGante and his manager/agent, Donny Michaels. GiGante walks up to both Stevens and DiMarco with a big smile on his face. ]
"Soul SurViVa" El GiGante - What's da problem here, Mrs. Stevens?
Rachel Stevens - Oh nothing, just that Rob over here doesn't like the way Mr. Stone is running things.
"Soul SurViVa" El GiGante - Would dis be true Mr. DiMarco?
Rob DiMarco - [Face blushes] N... N... NO.
Rachel Stevens - [Laughs] Yea right! Look at him.
"Soul SurViVa" El GiGante - Whateva.... Dis really doesn't matter ta me right now. Rachel if he doesn't like da way things are being run around here den let him think that way. OK?
Rachel Stevens - Ok. But, when he gets fired I don't want him crying to me.
Rob DiMarco - Like I'll ever get fired.... HA!
[ Michaels now jumps in. ]
Donny Michaels - Don't we have an interview to do?
"Soul SurViVa" El GiGante - Good point esa! Who's going ta be da special one ta interview da "Soul SurViVa" tonight?
Rachel Stevens - M.... [Gets cut off]
Rob DiMarco - ME!
Rachel Stevens - [Confused] What!? What are you talking about Rob??
Rob DiMarco - Yup, Stone gave me the order to interview Mr. GiGante. Look right here!
[ DiMarco pulls out a slip of paper, unravels it and shows it to Rachel. It reads...... ]
"Pre-Match Interview for El GiGante: Rob DiMarco."
[ DiMarco smiles and puts the piece of paper away. ]
Rob DiMarco - Let's get going Mr. GiGante.
"Soul SurViVa" El GiGante - No problemo. Sorry chica!
[ Rob, Donny and El walk away from Rachel. She doesn't even move, she just stands there staring at them walk away with her jaw almost down to the ground. ]
5 MINUTES LATER
[ Standing in front of the same logo as usual is Rob DiMarco, Donny Michaels and El GiGante. Rob has a big smile on the camera and begins the interview. ]
Rob DiMarco - In less than 5 minutes this man right next to me could be the very next North American champion. El GiGante, how do you feel about that?
"Soul SurViVa" El GiGante - Its great esa. I mean these past weeks I've been chasing da damn title and have always failed. But dis time mah chances are so much better. Dis time I'm going ta make it finally happen and become da EWA's North American champion. c3 is in for a battle, a battle dat he'll never forget.
Rob DiMarco - c3 is a very tough competitor, he's beaten a numerous amount of tough opponents in the past couple of weeks. How do you think you'll fair against a champion like c3?
[ Donny's turn! ]
Donny Michaels - I got this one El.... Rob, my man right here is a champion as well. He's been a champion his whole career. Even though he might not carry around the gold all the time, he's still a damn champion! c3 may be a great performer and he has beaten some great competitors but none of them compare to the likes of El GiGante. El GiGante has paid his dues and its finally his time to explode. Tonight c3's reign will end. And tonight El GiGante's reign will begin!!!
[ DiMarco goes to ask another question but is interrupted by GiGante. ]
"Soul SurViVa" El GiGante - c3, esa I hope you saw da beating I gave dat wanna-be El GiGante last week because dat is what I'm capable of doing tonight mang! If you saw da show last week you'll know I'm no fucking joke mang.
[ GiGante pulls the camera towards his face. He stares into the camera. His eyes glow like they're on fire. ]
"Soul SurViVa" El GiGante - c3 I hope your ready for your toughest match yet. You shouldn't be worrying about your padre because he's not the going that's going ta kick your ass tonight esa, dat's me! Let da family problems stay at home mang. The only mang you should be worrying about is me, da one who's going ta destroy your hopes at becoming some big star here in mah HOME! Now how about ya Bank....On....Dat!
Donny Michaels - ...OH yeah and good luck!
[ GiGante gives the camera one last stern look before he leaves. ]
Rob DiMarco - Back to you guys!
| Pre-Match Interview with Charles Christopher Carroll
|
## My compassion is broken now. My will is eroded,
## and my desire stolen and it makes me feel ugly.
## I'm on my knees and burning.
## My piss and moans are the fuel that set my head on fire.
[ A flash from the arena lights, blowing up the big screen in front of your faces. A few explosions of pyrotechnics come out of the stage, engulfing the entrance way with a strange pinkish tint. The screen shows a picture of Pimpf, '8-7-01' is scrawled out underneath his face. ]
## So smell my soul burning.
## I'm broken, looking up to see the enemy.
## I have swallowed the poison you feed me ...
## but I survive on it ,
## and it leaves me guilt fed, hatred fed, weakness fed..
[ The flashing continues, of a strobe light, with black, blue, orange... every color you can imagine, casting another strange hue across the stage. Another picture appears, '8-14-01' is scrawled underneath the second picture of Pimpf, glowing into a plain white screen slowly. ]
## and I feel ugly, and dead inside.
## Shit adds up at the bottom.
## You've left me no choice but to go inside and rebuild
## what's broken.
[ The stage becomes a glowing mass now, of all different colors, the strobe lights slowly become one. A motionless figure of a silhouette forms on the stage, glowing in the perpetual lighting from the lamps. Another image appears on the screen. It belongs to El GiGante, '8-21-01' is written out beneath his figure. ]
## Too much , too far , too late to lie down now.
## I must arm myself to fight you
## by making weapons out of my imperfections.
## It's all I have left.
[ The silhouette begins striding towards the ring, straight forward, upright... he walks straight down to the ring, A quick roll into the ring, kneeling in front of the ropes once inside and the man is a wrestler now. ]
## There's no other choice.
## I'm shameless, nameless, nothing, and noone now.
## But my soul must be iron for my fear is naked.
## I'm naked and fearless.
[ Charles Christopher Carroll, he walks to the center of the ring, holding his palms to the opposite side of his body. He pulls his arms back in. ]
## But I'm dead inside.
## You see.. shit adds up, now I'm dead inside.
## Hatred, weakness, and guilt keep me alive
## at the bottom.
[ Pyrotechnics shoot out of the rafters above, sprinkling down sparks and fire towards the bottom of the arena. Charles Christopher Carroll stands, mic in hand, staring into the crowd. ]
C³ - So begins another of my tirades. It's been a week since you last saw me, since you last were in the presence of someone that could make you say 'ohhhhh'. It begins tonight. Something has been brewing for some time now, and pretty soon it will come to fruition. Pretty soon you will only be able to bare witness to the beginning of the end for the EWA.
C³ - Back on task, I won't be taking this federation over. I will simply become the greatest wrestler that has been noticed here. I will simply become the North American Champion, the best damn champion this federation has ever seen. I look back on my days of youth, I never got things the way I wanted, now... I hold my future in my hands.
C³ - Gigante, this is going to be a homecoming for you, you will be able to show the world that you actually do belong here. You will have the chance to prove that you can play with the big boys still, after the absolutely ludacris match you had last week against the other imported loser.
C³ - This is going to be the biggest match of your career, you are going to have to prove something to me. I'm the only wrestler here that is two and zero so far, and I am NOT going to let that streak stop now... against you. Gigante, get prepared, this is going to be something that you will never have been ready for, this is going to be absolutely disgusting. Rest assured, I will become my greatest self starting tonight, and that will lead me to the future of being the best. Gigante... stepping stone... squashed under my feet... Flawed Evolution... dead... and like my former opponents... you have no chance in hell of beating me. Good luck though.
EWA North American Title Match
Charles Christopher Carroll (c) VS "Soul SurViVa" El GiGante
|
Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the EWA North American Championship!
Chris Myers - Currently in the ring... standing 6'1" and weighing in at 227 pounds, from Chicago, Illinois, Charles Christopher Carroll!
[ Charles Christopher Carroll raises his arms and his North American Title to the crowd. ]
The Informer - Our EWA North American Champion has looked strong so far! He's got another tought competitor this week in El GiGante!
Vic Canon - This should be a great match!
Eddie Sensation - [Mocking Vic] OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT, THIS SHOULD BE SO INTENSE... MORE INTENSE THAN EDDIE AND MY MOMMY LAST NIGHT!
[ "Superthug" by Norega blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 5'10" and weighing in at 180 pounds, from Madrid, Spain, "Soul SurViVa" El GiGante!
[ "Soul SurViVa" El GiGante steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - Here comes the challenger, El GiGante! The man who deported that pain in the ass, Chico Malo.
Vic Canon - Indeed. That's a great achievement to add to his resume... "deported unwanted immigrant"!
Eddie Sensation - HAHA!! That'll get him into any organization!
[ Ding, Ding, Ding! ]
The Informer - They lock up! Carroll grabs GiGante in a headlock... El GiGante throws him to the ropes! Carroll bounces off the ropes, GiGante lunges at him!
Vic Canon - HURRICANRANA! GiGante nailed it! El GiGante gets back to his feet, and bounces off the ropes. C3 gets up, and gets nailed by a dropkick from El GiGante!
Eddie Sensation - The Mexican runs to the ropes again...
The Informer - C3 is still down! LOOK OUT! Quebrada Moonsault! GiGante nailed it! He covers him... 1.... 2.... No! Carroll gets his shoulder up.
Vic Canon - El GiGante lifts Charles Christopher Carroll to his feet.... DRAGON SUPLEX! Carroll slowly gets to his feet, and GiGante is waiting for him.... kick to the gut!
Eddie Sensation - Jumping Piledriver by El GiGante! Nice move!
The Informer - El GiGante covers him... 1.... 2.... no! Carroll gets out at 2!
Vic Canon - El GiGante lifts him to his feet.... and he scoops up Carroll for a Brainbuster! NO!
Eddie Sensation - Carroll slips out of it! He runs to the ropes, GiGante turns around....
The Informer - Wham! Jump Spinning Back Heel Kick by Carroll!
Vic Canon - But El GiGante gets up again.... Carroll is waiting for him..... HURRICANRANA!!!! INTO A PIN.... 1..... 2..... NO! GiGante gets out at the last second!
Eddie Sensation - C3 gets up, and waits for GiGante.... El slowly gets to his feet....
The Informer - Kick to the gut by Carroll! IMPLANT DDT! And Carroll goes to the top rope! He's waiting for GiGante!
Vic Canon - El GiGante doesn't know where the hell Carroll went! He's getting to his feet, spinning in circles..... LOOK OUT!
Eddie Sensation - MISSLE DROPKICK! Carroll covers him! 1.... 2.... No! El GiGante kicks out at the last second!
The Informer - Carroll gets to his feet... he lifts El GiGante by the hair.... Carroll has him set up for a powerbomb!! He lifts him............ WHAM!!!!!!!
Vic Canon - OH MY GOD! EL GIGANTE JUST LANDED ON THE TOP OF HIS HEAD!!!!! HE MAY BE SERIOUSLY HURT, HE'S NOT MOVING!
Eddie Sensation - What the hell was that?! How hard is it to do a powerbomb?!?!
The Informer - I don't know Eddie, but the referee is checking out El GiGante... he's keeping Carroll far away from him....
Vic Canon - Wait a minute! Carroll is going for the cover! The ref counts it... 1, 2, 3!
Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and STILL EWA North American Champion, Charles Christopher Carroll!
WINNER: Charles Christopher Carroll w/ Powerbomb by Pinfall
Eddie Sensation - Holy shit! That was a fast count!
The Informer - Eddie, the referee knows GiGante is hurt! And here come the EMT's!
Vic Canon - Carroll is leaving the ring, looking at GiGante. I know he's concerned about GiGante, but what can he do! Shit happens when people wrestle in the EWA.
Eddie Sensation - Holy shit! Look at all those EMT's! I've never seen so many!
The Informer - Well fans, as they tend to El GiGante, we'll go to a commercial break. We'll be back in 2 minutes.
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
[ The camera cuts away backstage to a shot of "The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante" who is still waiting for La Parka to show up and attack him… ]
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - COME ON, BOY! It doesn't take much! Don't you want something to tell those dirty water-guzzling grandchildren of yours?! I'M HERE! I'M WAITING! COME SHOW THIS EWA BOY THAT HE CAN'T HANG WITH YOU! Make me a believer. MAKE ME SEE THE LIGHT!!!!!
The Informer - Good Lord Diamante's still going at it!
Vic Canon - He's got a lot of guts even being here tonight with that knee of his! And tonight, he's got the guts to call out La Parka BEFORE his Steel Chair Challenge match?!
Eddie Sensation - You can call Nicky D a changed man… but nothing has changed about his guts.
[ "The Thundergod" Leon Sharpe is shown walking around backstage. He crosses an EWA Staff Member. ]
Leon Sharpe - Hey, buddy. Got anything for me to do?
EWA Staff Member - Well, unless you want to set the pyro off in 10 minutes, I got nothing.
Leon Sharpe - Nah.... anyone you want me to beat up?
EWA Staff Member - Not really.
Leon Sharpe - Eh, you suck.
EWA Staff Member - Thanks, Leon. Have a great evening.
Leon Sharpe - Yeah.... yeah....
[ Leon keeps walking around, looking for a victim. ]
[ A fist is shown banging on Tom Stone's office door. The camera moves back to see Shawn Carter knocking as hard as he can. ]
Tom Stone - What the shit?! Who the hell is banging on my door!
Shawn Carter - It's me Stone! Shawn Carter! I've come to collect my god damn pay cheque. Now give it to me before I call the cops!
Tom Stone - Uhmm... relax Carter. How 'bout coming in so I don't have to yell through a door?
[ Shawn Carter walks into Stone's office room. ]
Tom Stone - Have a seat.
Shawn Carter - No. Give me my fucking pay cheque!
Tom Stone - Shawn... relax! I had all intentions of giving it to you. See? Here's the envelope, stamped and addressed already. I was to be sent out tomorrow morning.
Shawn Carter - No fucking way. I'm not waiting anymore! Give me it now!
Tom Stone - Alright man! Chill, will you?! Here's your cheque!
Shawn Carter - You're lucky you gave it to me now, because my lawyers are waiting!
Tom Stone - For what?!
Shawn Carter - TO SUE YOUR ASS!
Tom Stone - For?
Shawn Carter - .....STUFF!
[ Shawn Carter turns around and storms out of Stone's office with his cheque. Stone is confused. ]
| Pre-Match Interview with Nick Diamante
|
Rob DiMarco - I'm here right now with "The Diamond Stud" Ni…
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - Surely it'll happen now. IT ALWAYS HAPPENS DURING THE PRE-MATCH INTERVIEWS! La Parka…
[ Speaking as if to say he were offended and insulted… ]
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - …Where the HELL are you?! COME ON! Seriously! This is getting stale! I've given you the damn entire night to take a cheap shot at me… and at my leg. WHERE ARE YOU?!
Rob DiMarco - Mr. Diamante, if you don't mind me saying… La Parka seems to have you VERY rattled here tonight. Last week you seemed very lax and calm in your new mentality of a super hero. How could you be knocked off track so easily?
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - Rattled… Robbie, rattled? I'm not rattled at all. I'm testing this kid. I'm getting to know him in my own personal way. And now, I've got all the questions answered. This kid only attacks when the coast is clear and nothing is expected. But when the playing field is even… things change. Rob, things are going to change tonight. Certain aspects of La Parka's facial-features are going to change tonight - and thank God for him and all of us that he's wearing that mask, because super heroes don't like giving their little fans nightmares. But we do like giving them a happy ending to a twisted tale. Let's get this party started.
[ Diamante walks out of the screen… ]
The Informer - Hold on a second. I understand that Rachel Stevens has actually found La Parka!
Eddie Sensation - WHAT?!
The Informer - Let's send it over right now!
| Pre-Match Interview with La Parka
|
[ As the camera feed switches over to La Parka's dressing room, we see La Parka himself standing with his arms wrapped around a steel chair in a hugging position… ]
Rachel Stevens - La Parka, we're moments away from your special Steel Chair Challenge against "The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante! Please tell us, what was it that made you want to attack Nick Diamante last week?
[ La Parka stands there and shakes his head… ]
Rachel Stevens - Uhhh… alright. How far will you go to get your message across tonight in the ring with "The Diamond Stud"?
[ Again, La Parka shakes his head as Rachel Stevens becomes visually frustrated… ]
Rachel Stevens - Is there anything at all you'd like to say tonight concerning your match with Nick Diamante??
[ Finally, La Parka slowly faces Rachel Stevens and nods… ]
La Parka - …Homicide is from the Heavens… And Death… Comes… From where you least expect it. When you least expect it. HOW… YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.
[ La Parka shoves the camera down with his hand and the scene fades out… ]
Steel Chair Challenge
La Parka VS "The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante
|
Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a special Steel Chair Challenge!
[ "Smokin' In The Boys Room" by Motley Crue blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'10" and weighing in at 295 pounds, from Tijuana, Mexico, La Parka!
[ La Parka steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - There's the contraversial La Parka! Who knows who's under that mask! It could be YOU, Vic!
Vic Canon - Could be!
Eddie Sensation - You idiots. How is it him? He's sitting right here you dumbass.
[ "Got The Life" by KoRn blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'9" and weighing in at 292 ¼ pounds, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, "The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante!
[ "The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - Here comes the biggest squash match folks... Diamante is going to do us all a favor, and rip La Parka to bits.
Vic Canon - Indeed.
Eddie Sensation - I can't wait.
[ Ding, Ding, Ding! ]
The Informer - And we're off!
Vic Canon - La Parka bounces off the ropes.... and tries to dropkick Nick's knee! Nick moves his leg, and La Parka goes through his legs..
Eddie Sensation - La Parka is up already!
The Informer - Gargoyle-Plex! La Parka perfectly executes it! But Nick gets right back up!
Vic Canon - So does La Parka! Tiger Suplex! Another nice move by the man with the mask! La Parka quickly jumps to his feet, and hops onto the top rope. Nick doesn't know what's going on! He gets to his feet...
Eddie Sensation - CROSS BODY!!!
The Informer - INTO A PIN! 1...... 2...... No! Nick Diamante kicks out! La Parka gets to his feet, Nick slowly gets up... Dropkick by La Parka! La Parka runs to the ropes as "The Diamond Stud" gets to his feet...
Vic Canon - SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT! RIGHT ON THE MARKER!
Eddie Sensation - La Parka is on the top rope now! He's signalling for something!
The Informer - Nick is holding his head in pain! He doesn't know what's coming! LOOK OUT!!!!!!
Vic Canon - SWAN DIVE FROG SPLASH!!!!! NO!!!!! NICK MOVED! DIAMANTE MOVED, AND LA PARKA GOT NOTHING BUT MAT!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - They're both slowly getting to their feet now.... La Parka charges at Nick!
The Informer - SIDEWALK SLAM!!!!! But they both get right back up!!
Vic Canon - Nick is ready for The Mexicano.... BIG DDT!!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - He won't stay down!
The Informer - They both get to their feet.... this time La Parka is a bit slower than Diamante....
Vic Canon - Diamante has him! LOOK OUT!!!!! POWERBOMB!!!!!!!! But Nick doesn't cover him! He gets right back up to his feet, and begins climbing to the top rope!
Eddie Sensation - La Parka is holding his head, and is trying to get to his feet! Nick knocked some screws loose in his head!
The Informer - But La Parka STILL gets to his feet! Nick's waiting for him! LOOK OUT!!!!!! FLYING CLOTHESLINE BY DIAMANTE!
Vic Canon - Nick covers him.... 1....... 2......... NO! Kickout by La Parka! The Diamond Stud gets to his feet again.... He lifts La Parka up by his hair....
Eddie Sensation - Short clothesline! La Parka lands with a thud!
The Informer - And now Nick Diamante rolls to the outside, and grabs a STEEL CHAIR!! Look out La Parka! Nick rolls into the ring, and swings at the body of La Parka! La Parka moves, and the chair nails the mat!
Vic Canon - Nick swings again! NO! La Parka moves once again!
Eddie Sensation - OOOH SHIT!!!! LOW BLOW BY LA PARKA! The chair is loose! This could be the turning point of the match!
The Informer - I have a feeling that this one is going to get out of control! La Parka has the chair now… WHAM! GOOD LORD! RIGHT IN THE KNEE! LA PARKA HAS TAKEN OUT DIAMANTE'S KNEE ONE MORE TIME!
Vic Canon - This can seriously do some damage! "The Diamond Stud" has a terrible history with that left knee!
Eddie Sensation - Wait! Wait! Look! La Parka is applying a half-Boston Crab!
The Informer - NO WAY! This could be DEVASTATING for Nicky D!
Vic Canon - He doesn't need something like this right now!
Eddie Sensation - His chances are going down the drain!
The Informer - Look at the expression of pain on Diamante's face!
Vic Canon - I've NEVER heard him scream that loud!
Eddie Sensation - Right in the center of the ring! HOLY CRAP!
The Informer - Nick Diamante is cradling his head with his hands! He's reached a point where he no longer knows what in the hell he can do to control himself!
Vic Canon - DIAMANTE SHOULD HAVE NEVER TAKEN THIS MATCH!!
Eddie Sensation - He's trying! Look! He won't quit! He's walking on his hands to try and get to the ropes!
The Informer - But look how far he is! He has to use everything he's got in him to make it now!
Vic Canon - Diamante's got one arm in the air! I think he's going to make a desperate lunge for the ropes!
Eddie Sensation - IT'S ALL OR NOTHING!
The Informer - Vic, I think you're right! He's going to try and make a dive for it!
Vic Canon - But he's too far!
[ Diamante uses his last ounce of strength to lunge for the ropes… but he falls short. ]
Eddie Sensation - HE MISSED!!
The Informer - AND NOW LA PARKA IS WALKING DIAMANTE BACK INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE RING! LOOK AT THE ELEVATION ON THAT ONE-LEG BOSTON CRAB!
Vic Canon - HOW MUCH MORE CAN DIAMANTE TAKE???
Eddie Sensation - IS HE GONNA HOLD ON???
[ Diamante grabs his head and then instinctively begins to tap out. ]
The Informer - HE'S TAPPING OUT! HE'S TAPPING OUT! LA PARKA HAS MADE NICK DIAMANTE TAP OUT!!!
Chris Myers - Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of the Steel Chair Challenge by submission… La Parka!
WINNER: La Parka w/ Death From Mexico by Submission
The Informer - MY GOD WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED HERE!? "THE DIAMOND STUD" NICK DIAMANTE HAS TAPPED OUT FOR THE SECOND TIME IN HIS WRESTLING CAREER!
Vic Canon - But this time it was La Parka who did the deed!
Eddie Sensation - This is unbelievable!
The Informer - Diamante is in more pain that I have ever seen him in! He's rolled up into a ball and all he is doing is clutching that knee of his!
Vic Canon - Look! There must be something seriously wrong! We're got EMT's rushing down to the ring right now!
Eddie Sensation - LOOK AT LA PARKA! STANDING ABOVE ALL THIS CARNAGE WITH THAT STEEL CHAIR IN HAND… VICTORIOUS! LA PARKA IS HERE! AND THE EWA IS IN SOME SERIOUS DANGER!
The Informer - EDDIE, YOU COULDN'T BE MORE RIGHT! Fans, we have to take a commercial break! We'll be right back!
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
[ The camera switches to the backstage area where a man is seen walking down the hall towards Tom Stone's makeshift office. His hair hangs long around his head and face, but the haze of his unshavenness is visible. He walks with a somber pace to the door, then turns to face the camera, lifting his hair up and over his head revealing himself to be..... ]
Voice - Well..hello there, everyone.
Vic Canon - DREW NORWOOD?!?! SHADOWHAWK IS IN THE BUILDING AT STONE'S OFFICE???
Drew Norwood - I hope you don't mind... I'm gonna head in here and have a little chit-chat with Tommy Boy... seems like we got some things to settle.... if ya know what I mean.... EWA, prepare........ for your Silent Flight!
[ Norwood opens the door, steps inside, and slams it shut. The camera kicks back to the announcers. ]
Eddie Sensation - YES!!! Norwood is gonna give Tom Stone his ass tonight!!! HAHAHAH, I love it!
The Informer - Shut up, Eddie... I'm sure that Drew will be a man about the whole situation.... I hope.
[ We are brought backstage, where a stand has been set up. Rocky Blonde is standing behind it, with signs around him reading "ROCKY BLONDE CHOCOLATE BARS - HALF PRICE, JUST FOR THE EWA SUPERSTARS!" Rocky already has a bundle of money in his hand, and looks extremly happy. An EWA Staff member walks by... ]
Rocky Blonde - Hey man! Care to purchase another?
EWA Staff Member - ANOTHER?! Gimme 6! Those things are great! I already had 3 today!
Rocky Blonde - Sure thing! And since you're such a loyal customer, I'll give you my Rocky Blonde frequent buyer card! After every 9 you buy, you get the tenth one free!
EWA Staff Member - YES! THIS IS GREAT!
Rocky Blonde - And, since you've already bought 3 today, and other 6 now... I'll give you one free!
EWA Staff Member - WOOHOO! YOU RULE MAN! These are the GREATEST Chocolate bars EVER made!
Rocky Blonde - Thanks man! Enjoy!
EWA Staff Member - Oh, I WILL!
[ The EWA Staff Member walks away with a pile of chocolate bars. He opens one, and devours it. Rocky Blonde laughs and shakes his head. ]
Rocky Blonde - I can't believe this! Chocolate bar sales have SKYROCKETED since the EWA re-opened! If that idiot Tom Stone wouldn't have closed, I'd be a multi-millionaire by now!
[ Just as he finishes his sentance, Shawn Carter turns around the corner. He storms by Rocky Blonde without even looking at him. ]
Rocky Blonde - Hey! Shawn Carter! Care to try a Rocky Blonde Bar?
Shawn Carter - What?
Rocky Blonde - Want a Rocky Blonde Chocolate bar? They're only 75 cents! Half price for all EWA Superstars!
Shawn Carter - ...YOU IDIOT! I'm not an EWA Superstar! Does it look like I'd waste my time in a shit hole like this?!
Rocky Blonde - Well, you ARE backstage. I figured you would be an EWA Superstar! You know what? I don't care if you're an EWA superstar or not! I'll still give you one for half price!
Shawn Carter - Rocky.... If I was a starving African, I wouldn't eat your stupid bar if it was FREE!
Rocky Blonde - ....Carter... I dont know what problem you have, but I'm going to fix it.
Shawn Carter - Oh yeah? How so?!
[ Rocky Blonde walks out from behind his counter, and faces Shawn Carter. ]
Rocky Blonde - In a very simple manner.
[ Rocky grabs a chocolate bar, opens it, and finishes it in 2 bites. ]
Shawn Carter - Oooooh! I'm soooo scare--
[ Before Carter could finish his sentance, Rocky Blonde kicks him in the gut, and delivers a running powerbomb onto the concrete floor! He then picks up Shawn Carter, and rolls him on the table. ]
Rocky Blonde - Let me ask you again! DO YOU WANT A ROCKY BLONDE BAR?!
Shawn Carter - FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!
Rocky Blonde - Wrong answer!
[ Rocky Blonde gets onto the table, and delivers THE ENTRANCE TO PARADISE through the table! ]
Rocky Blonde - I'LL ASK YOU ONE LAST TIME... DO YOU WANT A GOD DAMNED ROCKY BLONDE BAR?!
[ Shawn Carter doesn't respond. He's out cold. ]
Rocky Blonde - I thought so.
[ Rocky Blonde grabs a chocolate bar, and shoves it in Shawn Carter's mouth with the wrapper still on. He then returns to his stand, and begins looking for more customers. ]
[ Leon Sharpe is seen wandering around backstage, again. He turns a few corners, and opens a few doors to nothing but empty rooms. ]
"The Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - This place sucks. There's nothing to do.
[ Suddenly, Pimpf runs in the picture and attacks Leon Sharpe. Pimpf takes out the back of Sharpe's knee's, causing him to fall to the floor. Pimpf jumps on top of Sharpe, and begins punching him in the face. Sharpe then throws Pimpf off of him, and gets up. Sharpe grabs Pimpf by the hair, and throws him into a wall. ]
"The Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - How does that feel?
[ Sharpe grabs Pimpf's head, and grinds his face into the concrete floor. Pimpf is busted open instantly. Sharpe then picks up Pimpf, and irish whip's him into a vending machine. The glass breaks, and falls all over Pimpf's back. ]
"The Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - Now look at what you did! There's no cops around, so i guess I'll have to fix you!
[ Sharpe pulls Pimpf out of the mess, and nails him with a spinebuster on the cold concrete floor! Sharpe then rolls Pimpf through a curtain, and out to the entrance way. The fans spot them, and so do our ringside commentators. ]
The Informer - Hey! Look! It's "The Thundergod" Leon Sharpe and Pimpf! Look at Pimpf! He's busted open! His whole face is covered with blood!
Vic Canon - And so are Leon Sharpe's hands! I guess he's responsible!
Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT!!
The Informer - MY GOD! Leon Sharpe just threw Pimpf into the guardrails! Pimpf is just leaning there, in pain!
Vic Canon - Pimpf is trying to walk now.... LOOK OUT!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL!!!!
The Informer - MY GOD, SHARPE NAILED HIM! And now Sharpe is ripping off Pimpf's shirt!
Vic Canon - ....and he's taking off his belt! OH NO!!!!
Eddie Sensation - HAHA!!! SHARPE IS WHIPPING PIMPF WITH HIS BELT! JUST LIKE HIS DADDY DID!!! HAHAHA!!!
The Informer - Pimpf is in a world of pain! And we don't even know what happened backstage!
Vic Canon - And now Sharpe is rolling Pimpf into the ring! Good god! Pimpf is coughing up blood! That's disgusting!
Eddie Sensation - I feel sorry for whoever is wrestling next!
The Informer - Leon Sharpe is climbing the top rope! Pimpf see's him! He's getting to his feet! LOOK OUT!!
Vic Canon - OOH!!! LOW BLOW BY PIMPF!!!! SHARPE GOES DOWN!
Eddie Sensation - And so does Pimpf!
The Informer - But Sharpe is already making his way to his feet! Pimpf is still down!
Vic Canon - Sharpe is back on his feet.... OOH!! He just kicked Pimpf right in the chest!! This is just vicious! Sharpe is trying to injure Pimpf! He doesn't care about Pimpf or his wellbeing!
Eddie Sensation - Well duh.. Sharpe is giving him what he deserves.
The Informer - This is just brutal! He doesn't deserve this! NOBODY DOES! ....Sharpe lifts Pimpf to his feet... he kicks him in the gut....
Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!!! ....POWERBOMB! MY GOD! PIMPF JUST TOOK A BRUTAL POWERBOMB!!! THAT WAS NOT NESSESSARY!
Eddie Sensation - HA! Sharpe lifted him up, and threw him down to the ground like a ragdoll!
The Informer - Pimpf landed hard on his shoulders and neck! He could be seriously hurt!
Vic Canon - Pimpf will be lucky if he can tell you about this... he must have taken a concussion from that powerbomb!
Eddie Sensation - That's unfortunate! Sharpe was just powerbombing him and he landed a bit awkwardly. It's not the first time Pimpf has been dropped on his head!
The Informer - Sharpe picks up Pimpf... OH MY GOD! NO! NO! NOT AGAIN!!! PIMPF IS FINISHED!!!
Vic Canon - ANOTHER HUGE POWERBOMB BY LEON SHARPE! HE LANDED SHOULDER FIRST ON THE CANVAS AND FLIPPED OVER!
Eddie Sensation - Pimpf is feeling Sharpe's revenge for putting him in that match last week!! Although, I am beginning to wince a bit here...
The Informer - So am I, Eddie... Pimpf is spitting up blood, he has blood coming from his nose, he has probably sustained two concussions, welts all over his back and probably some fractured bones.
Vic Canon - Sharpe just threw Pimpf onto the apron, and he is gazing at our table here! FOR GOD'S SAKE! NO!
Eddie Sensation - Oh shit... I don't know about you guys, but I gotta step aside for a moment! I'm not getting in the way of this!
The Informer - Shape is on the apron now! He's got Pimpf..... PLEASE NO, DON'T DO THIS!!!!!!!
Vic Canon - PIMPF DOESN'T DESERVE THIS! SOMEBODY STOP LEON SHARPE! WHERE THE HELL IS SECURITY?!?!
Eddie Sensation - Do you think Security would want to mess with Leon Sharpe? I don't!
The Informer - LOOK OUT!!!!!!!!!
Vic Canon - HOLY SHIT!!!!!! THE TABLE DIDN'T BREAK!!!! OUR TABLE IS STILL IN TACT, AND PIMPF JUST GOT POWERBOMBED ON IT OFF THE APRON!
Eddie Sensation - AND HERE COME THE PARAMEDICS!!! HAHA!!!
The Informer - OH MY GOD! Pimpf just got powerbombed off the apron, onto our announcing table and THE TABLE DID NOT BREAK! HOLY SHIT!
Vic Canon - Now what?! Sharpe has a microphone!
"The Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - That will be the last you see of that idiot. Now, I would like to challenge the Extreme champion to a match for either one of the next three EWA shows or for the EWA PPV in Philadelphia. If you have the guts, come and try to beat me. I want a gold belt for my efforts in just viciously beating people and the Extreme title will fit me. I don't care who the Champion is, he will only be a statistic of my destruction.
[ Sharpe tosses the mic down and walks out to boos from the fans. We see more paramedics attending to Pimpf as we go to a short break. ]
| Pre-Match Interview with Anton Bailey
|
Rob DiMarco - Ladies and Gentlemen we are mere minutes away from the start of the EWA Extreme Title match... and with me right now is one of the two men who will compete for this prestigious title... Anton Bailey.
Anton Bailey - Hi Rob. Hi Ladies and Gentlemen.
Rob DiMarco - Anton... tonight for the third week in a row you will battle for this title. Do you think the third time is a charm for you?
Anton Bailey - You know what Rob... I don't have to think. I just know that this is my time to win this title. I've been coming so close the past two weeks and I finally feel that I'm ready to win it this time. I've been working hard this week and I feel as though Bio-Hazard will fall victim to the 'oUt frOm unDer'.
Rob DiMarco - I've seen you working Anton... but I must tell you that Bio-Hazard has also been seen working pretty hard for this match. What do you think about your stratagey will be for this match?
Anton Bailey - My stratagey? Well I'll more than likely try to wear him down in the beginning with some take downs, hip tosses, and things of that sort. My main goal though is to concentrate on his either one of his legs... cause you can't move if your leg is hurt can you?
Rob DiMarco - I don't think so.
Anton Bailey - Exactly. After I've worked on his leg for a while... I'll pin him. But then again... I'm completely bullshitting you.
Rob DiMarco - Huh?
Anton Bailey - Rob... pull it out of your ass man. This is and EXTREME match... I'm planning on taking his ass out with anything I can get my hands on. Tables, Bats, Chairs, and commentators desks... whatever it takes to put this guy out for the count... that's what I'm going to do.
Rob DiMarco - Good point Anton... I guess I am a 'sucka'. Man I crack myself up.
Anton Bailey - Rob.
Rob DiMarco - Yeah Anton?
Anton Bailey - You're not funny, you've never been funny, and you'll probably never be funny. Just stick to what you do best.
Rob DiMarco - Right.
Anton Bailey - No need to wish me luck... skill is on my side. I'm out Rob.
Rob DiMarco - Alright, Anton Bailey is on his way to the ring and boy is he focused... lets send it to the ring.
| Pre-Match Interview with Bio-Hazard
|
Rachel Stevens - We are moments away from the now VACANT EXTREME TITLE MATCH! That's right ladies and gentlemen, and right now I have with me... ugh, Bio-Hazard.
Bio-Hazard - What's the matter babe?
[ Bio winks at her, as she rolls hers eyes. ]
Rachel Stevens - Care to give insight on your match tonight with Anton Bailey?
Bio-Hazard - Don't I always? Heh, tonight. It's appearent that I am going to beat the hell out of Anton Bailey. Maul him, destroy him. KILL HIM! Anton says I have not earned a right to talk smack toward him. Well Anton, what have you done? Beat Thrylla? No, you didn't. You got your ass beat all night until Ethan Tyler came down and saved your ass from a beating. Anton, tonight, there won't be anyone that can help you.
Rachel Stevens - So I take it you plan on winning tonight?
Bio-Hazard - Well done Dick Tracey! Yeesh. Anyway, Anton... I hope you haven't been sitting back there jacking your dick and not training, because I have one or two tricks up my sleeve, bitch. And you know what else?
Bio-Hazard - I am going... to tear.. you... APART!
[ Bio pinches Rachel's ass as he walks away. A look left on Rachel's face that shows pure rage. ]
EWA Extreme Title Match
Anton Bailey VS Bio-Hazard
|
Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the Vacant EWA Extreme Championship!
[ "My Hero" by Foo Fighters blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'4" and weighing in at 240 pounds, from Tucson, Arizona, Anton Bailey!
[ Anton Bailey steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - There's Anton Bailey... A man who has been in every Extreme Title Match since the EWA re-opened.
Vic Canon - Well, I don't know if that's good or bad.
Eddie Sensation - Bad, obviously. He's always the contender. Never the champion!
[ "When Worlds Collide" by Powerman 5000 blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'3" and weighing in at 228 pounds, from Manhattan, New York, Bio-Hazard!
[ Bio-Hazard steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - Here comes Bio-Hazard! He's fresh off a good win over Divine last week. Maybe he'll be our next champion!
Vic Canon - Well, anything is better then the last one!
Eddie Sensation - Yeah... didn't that loser quit because Stone wouldn't give him a match with Chandler or something?
The Informer - Yeah Eddie... something like that... he wanted to be in the Main Event of the EWA overnight.
Vic Canon - He's dreaming.
Eddie Sensation - Obviously! That dope.
[ Ding, Ding, Ding! ]
The Informer - We have lift off! Anton Bailey and Bio-Hazard are ready to go at it... They circle... OOH! Bio-Hazard with a kick to the leg of Anton Bailey! And Bailey goes down! What the hell?
Vic Canon - OH GOD! Bio-Hazard kicks Bailey in the ribs, and AGAIN in the face!!!!
Eddie Sensation - Bailey is rolling around in pain, and his mouth is beginning to bleed! Those must be some stiff kicks!
[ Bio-Hazard bends over, and pulls out a steel plate that was strapped to his leg. ]
The Informer - THAT'S what was causing the damage! Bio-Hazard throws the plate out of the ring, and lifts Bailey to his feet, and throws him over the top rope and out of the ring!
Vic Canon - Bio-Hazard grabs Bailey by the hair... and whips his face into the guardrail! Bailey goes down!
Eddie Sensation - Bio-Hazard lifts him to his feet... what's he going to do?
The Informer - DDT ONTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR!!! Blood POURS out of Bailey's face! Bio-Hazard is enjoying this!
Vic Canon - Bio-Hazard lifts Bailey to his feet, and drags him up the ramp. He sets up Bailey, about halfway up the ramp, and NAILS him with a Piledriver onto the steel entrance ramp!
Eddie Sensation - Now he's coming towards us!
The Informer - Bio-Hazard is walking around the ring, and he's going under the ring for something.... he's got a table! Let the festivities begin!
Vic Canon - He carries it up the ramp, and right infront of the curtains. Bio-Hazard sets up the table, and turns around to retrieve Anton Bailey.
Eddie Sensation - Bailey is on his feet already! Look out!
The Informer - Bailey charges at him, Bio-Hazard ducks... BACK BODY DROP ONTO THE STEEL!!!
Vic Canon - And here comes Bio-Hazard, back towards the ring!
Eddie Sensation - He's looking for another table... and he's got one!
The Informer - Bio-Hazard makes his way back up the entrance ramp, and see's Anton Bailey getting to his feet! He drops the table... T-BONE SUPLEX!!!! But he's not done! Bio-Hazard is getting right back to work! He lifts Anton Bailey, and brings him through the curtains and backstage!
Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!!!! OOH!!! Bio-Hazard throws Bailey's face into a wall! Now they're heading for those stairs! They're both making their ways up the steps...
Eddie Sensation - Bio-Hazard has Bailey again!
The Informer - WHAM! RIGHT INTO THE WALL!! Anton Bailey is going to have one hell of a headache after this match!
Vic Canon - They continue up the stairs... higher, and higher.... Bio-Hazard grabs Bailey.... SAMURAI DRIVER ONTO THE STEPS!!!!
Eddie Sensation - God damn! That must hurt!
The Informer - And Bio-Hazard isn't done! He picks up Bailey, walks up a few more steps... and goes out through a curtain....
Vic Canon - OH SHIT!!!! FANS, THEY'RE ON TOP OF THE EWA BIG SCREEN! THIS ISN'T FUNNY! THIS IS DANGEROUS!!!!
Eddie Sensation - HAHA!! JUMP, JUMP, JUMP, JUMP, JUMP!!!!
The Informer - STOP THAT EDDIE! BIO-HAZARD IS POINTING TO THE ENTRANCE RAMP... HE WANTS TO THROW BAILEY DOWN THERE! AND THE FANS LOVE THAT IDEA!
Vic Canon - Bio-Hazard scoops up Anton Bailey... LOOK OUT!!!
Eddie Sensation - NO! BAILEY SLIPPED OUT OF IT!
The Informer - BAILEY SHOVES BIO-HAZARD........ OH MY GOOD!!!! JESUS H. CHRIST!!!!!!!!! BIO-HAZARD JUST LANDED THROUGH THAT TABLE, AND ONTO THE STEEL ENTRANCE RAMP!
Vic Canon - THIS IS INSANE!!!!! STOP THE MATCH!!!! HE COULD BE DEAD!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - HAHA!!! THIS IS GREAT!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!
The Informer - BIO-HAZARD IS MOTIONLESS!! I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW!!!! THAT WAS INCREDIBLY WRONG!!!!!
Vic Canon - Well, Bio-Hazard is moving a little, so I guess he isn't dead... but he still could be seriously injured!
Eddie Sensation - And Anton Bailey is making his way down to go get him some more of Bio-Hazard!
The Informer - Oh my god... that took the air out of me! I'm concerned about the health of Bio-Hazard... but Anton Bailey isn't, that's for sure!
Vic Canon - Anton Bailey is going for the cover?!?! IS HE MAD?!!? IS THAT ALL HE'S THINKING OF?!?!
Eddie Sensation - Obviously! 1..... 2...............
The Informer - THRE--NO!!! OH MY GOD!!!! BIO-HAZARD KICKED OUT!!!! BIO-HAZARD IS STILL IN THIS!!! BAILEY LOOKS AMAZED!!!!
Vic Canon - Anton Bailey gets to his feet, and lifts Bio-Hazard. They're headed to the ring--safe grounds!
Eddie Sensation - That's what you think!
The Informer - Bailey slides Bio-Hazard into the ring... Bailey gets in, and lifts Bio-Hazard to his feet...
Vic Canon - Reverse Implant DDT! Bio-Hazard goes down hard!
Eddie Sensation - The littlest moves must cause Bio-Hazard a large amount of pain right now!
The Informer - Damn right Eddie. Bailey goes to the outside, and walks up the ramp! Bailey picks up the second table that Bio-Hazard left, and carries it to the ring.
Vic Canon - Bailey slides it into the ring, and begins walking towards us...
Eddie Sensation - He's looking for a steel chair! Chris Myers gets up, and Bailey grabs his!
The Informer - Anton Bailey slides into the ring with his steel chair... Bio-Hazard is on his feet! LOOK OUT!!
Vic Canon - WHACK!!! BAILEY NAILS BIO-HAZARD!!!!! Anton Bailey goes for the pin.....
Eddie Sensation - 1........ 2......... 3!!!!
The Informer - NO! Bio-Hazard has his foot on the ropes! And the ref saw it this time!
Vic Canon - Anton Bailey picks up Bio-Hazard.... DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! He covers him.... 1.... 2.... No! Another kickout!
Eddie Sensation - Anton Bailey picks up the chair, and opens it up!
The Informer - Bailey rolls out of the ring, and grabs another chair from under the ring! Bailey slides into the ring, and opens the chair... He sets up the chairs so they are both open, and facing each other.
Vic Canon - Anton Bailey walks over to Bio-Hazard, and lifts him to his feet.... Bailey lifts him high in the air! LOOK OUT!!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - HA! WICKED!!!
The Informer - DIVING POWERBOMB, RIGHT ONTO THE OPEN STEEL CHAIRS! THOSE CHAIRS ARE BENT THE WRONG WAY!!!!!
Vic Canon - WHAT IMPACT! And Bailey isn't finished! He sets up the table in the middle of the ring, and picks up Bio-Hazard!
Eddie Sensation - What the hell is he doing?!
The Informer - He's signalling for OUT FROM UNDER, Eddie! This will be all for Bio-Hazard if he hits it!
Vic Canon - Bailey throws Bio-Hazard to the ropes.... here goes!
Eddie Sensation - ......NO! Bio-Hazard slips over Bailey's shoulders... Bailey turns around!
The Informer - HEAD SCISSORS THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!! MY GOD!!!!! BAILEY WENT THROUGH HEAD FIRST!!!!!!
Vic Canon - Bio-Hazard goes for the cover! 1....... 2........
Eddie Sensation - 3!
The Informer - NO! BAILEY KICKED OUT AT 2 AND 15 16ths!
Vic Canon - Bio-Hazard is pissed off! He's calling for the end! Here comes Society's Plague!
Eddie Sensation - Bailey is lifted to his feet by Bio-Hazard.... Bio-Hazard lifts him up onto his shoulders!
The Informer - NO! BAILEY SLIPS OUT, AND LANDS BEHIND BIO-HAZARD!
Vic Canon - BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX BY BAILEY! INTO A PIN!!!!
Eddie Sensation - 1......... 2.......... 3!!!!!!!! BAILEY WINS!
The Informer - WHAT?! BIO-HAZARD WON!
Vic Canon - What are you guys talking about?!
Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and NEW EWA Extreme Champion... ANTON BAILEY!
WINNER: Anton Bailey w/ Belly-To-Back Suplex by Pinfall
Eddie Sensation - What the hell just happened?!
The Informer - It's called a DOUBLE PIN Eddie! Both of their shoulders were down!
Vic Canon - Then how did Bailey win?!
Eddie Sensation - Yeah, Mister Smarty Pants!
The Informer - Easy. That stupid referee only saw Bio-Hazard's shoulders down! Look at the damn replay!
[ The replay is shown, and both Anton Bailey and Bio-Hazards shoulders were down as the referee counted the three. ]
The Informer - SEE! TOLD YOU!
Vic Canon - Holy shit! You're right Informer! But I don't think Bio-Hazard realized it! Wait until he finds out that Bailey's shoulders were also down!
Eddie Sensation - Simple solution: RE-MATCH, NEXT WEEK! I wanna see them almost get killed again!
The Informer - Eddie, you're evil!
[ We're backstage once again outside of Stone's office...the door opens, and Norwood steps back out, closing the door gently. The contrast is striking between Norwood before entering and Norwood now exiting. His hair is combed back nicely and a wide smile is across his face. ]
Drew Norwood - You again? Ah well, guess you want to know what went on in there, hmm? Well...I'll tell you once you zoom that camera on in on me, bro.
[ Closeup zoom. ]
Drew Norwood - Chandler... La Parka... Leon Sharpe... any and everyone who thinks they can just run wild in EWA... take a good look at this paper.
[ Norwood pulls a sheet of paper into the view, revealing a freshly signed EWA contract. He drops it out of view again. ]
Drew Norwood - That's right... an EWA contract... but not just any contract... oh no. This contract states that I, Drew Norwood, am now the official... yes, OFFICIAL... Commissioner of the EWA! Prepare for your reign of terror to come to an end, Chandler.... I got some gooooood surprises for you, boy. Just wait and see... for now, I bid thee adieu.
[ Norwood turns and walks off as the screen fades to black. ]
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
[ Tom Stone is seen walking backstage. He turns a corner, and nearly bumps into "The Thundergod" Leon Sharpe. ]
Tom Stone - Hey Leon, I'll give ya 500 bucks if you go out and beat the crap out of Shawn Carter.
"The Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - Sure, you inbred Canadian bastard. Next time it's 800 bucks.
[ Stone pulls out a wad of cash, and hands it to Leon. ]
"The Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - Nice doing business with you.
Tom Stone - See ya around Sharpey.
[ Leon Sharpe and Tom Stone head off in opposite directions. Leon Sharpe begins looking for Shawn Carter. He walks by Carter's dressing room, but nobody's inside. Leon Sharpe continues walking down the hall, and finds Shawn Carter just getting up from Rocky Blonde's assault on him. Leon Sharpe approaches Carter. ]
"The Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - Sorry Shawn. Business is business.
Shawn Carter - Huh?!
[ Sharpe elbows Carter in the throat, and then grabs him and powerbombs him on the cold concrete floor. ]
"The Thundergod" Leon Sharpe - Well that was easy.
[ Leon Sharpe walks away casually. ]
[ The Mobile Civic Center is alive and well, fans hold up numerous signs “Thrylla is my Jesus” “Eat my shorts Howell” and “I’m more over than DiNardo” As the cameras pan over the audience, we suddenly hear The Informer’s voice cut in. ]
The Informer - What the hell is Ethan Tyler doing??
[ Tyler, unannounced, no pyro, no theme, no warning, walks down the aisle looking very angered. Strangely, he’s out of his wrestling gear, wearing jeans, a Crystal Method shirt, and his short hair is wet. He climbs into the ring and demands a mic from Chris Myers. Myers throws one in the ring without hesitation and Tyler demands for it to be turned on. ]
Ethan Tyler - I don’t want any bullshit, I don’t want any fancy god damned hype, I don’t want anything but Johnny Hardcore to hobble his crippled old ass out here right now!
[ Tyler throws the mic down and waits for Hardcore to come out to the ring. The entrance way is still and the fans start up a Hardcore chant. Tyler climbs on the second rope facing the ramp and taunts Johnny who’s still backstage. Finally, Tyler jumps down, marches to the center of the ring and grabs the mic. ]
Ethan Tyler - Oh I see, a big pussy, that’s what you are. A BIG GOD DAMN PUSSY! Look at me! I’m standing here not as a wrestler, no music, no flashy fireworks, no chairs, hell I’m not even in my gear, I’m standing here waiting for you to get your ass out here….. Come on Johnny, fuck your fancy ass videos and pseudo God-like voiceovers… I want your ass out here as a fucking man. But I don’t think you can handle it, I don’t think you got the balls to step up!
[ After all the provocation, there’s still no sign of Johnny. Tyler is beyond furious. ]
Ethan Tyler - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR!? COME OUT AND TEACH ME MY “LESSON”, COME OUT AND LET ME SHOW YOU MY FUCKING HOMEWORK! YOU OVERHEATED SON OF A BI-
[ ”Come Out and Play” by The Offspring plays over the P.A. system as the fans let out a monster cheer. Tyler throws the mic down in the ring and assumes his normal place on the second rope. Licking his lips like a madman, he gestures for Johnny to come out with his hand. By the time you hear the sirens, Johnny walks out from the back to a cheer that puts the previous one to shame. He’s got a mic in hand and he looks out at Ethan. ]
Johnny Hardcore - I told you already Ethan, shut up.
[ Tyler has another fit in the ring which leaves Hardcore with his eyes rolling. Tyler climbs back on the second rope and begins talking shit. ]
Johnny Hardcore - Hold on cowboy. Hold on. You come out here and demand me to come out as a man and to leave all the fancy shit at home, first off Ethan, you’re nowhere near a man, you’re a useless punk. Second of all, I teach the class, you listen. Third, you have to learn patience. I bet you think the only reason I came out here was because you carried on like a baby in the ring.
[ Tyler nods his head and says “Damn right, you fear me.” ]
Johnny Hardcore - The reason I came out was because I got tired of sitting in the back, I came not because you bitched, but because I wanted to.
[ Johnny slowly walks his way to the ring. ]
Johnny Hardcore - And now I’m walking towards the ring because of my own choice, I’m coming down here because I feel like it.
[ Johnny finally climbs into the ring and Tyler charges right up into his face and is mere inches away from him. They’re too contrasting worlds, heaven and hell. Tyler, eyes red with fury burns a hole through Hardcore, who’s eyes are blue with calm. Tyler with jaw firm and shut, Johnny with jaw loose and chewing gum. Hardcore smiles and puts a mic back up to his mouth. ]
Johnny Hardcore - If this is a housewarming greeting, forget it, you’re invading my personal space.
Ethan Tyler - You think you’re something more than you are. The only reason you’re ANYTHING in this sport is because you made your name getting your ass kicked.
[ Hardcore laughs ]
Johnny Hardcore - Are you trying to provoke me? Nice try, but it’ll take a lot more than that to make me want to hurt you. In fact, a ton…. It’s a little something we like to call passiveness. I feel too sympathetic to hurt you right now, but I bet you’d jump like a lion, wouldn’t ya? Come on son, hit me.
[ Johnny taps the mic against his chin and provokes Tyler, who now looks like a confused animal. He doesn’t know what to make of this. He pulls a fist back and is about to let loose but he stops. ]
Ethan Tyler - Quit shitting around!
Johnny Hardcore - I’M NOT SHITTING AROUND HIT ME BOY!
[ Tyler pulls back and stops again, leaving himself perplexed as to why he can’t do it. Hardcore laughs and turns around, and turns back, with a key hit. ]
Johnny Hardcore - Of course you can’t hit me, shadows can’t hit.
[ Tyler lets it fly and clocks Johnny right in the chin. Hardcore’s not stunned and he rubs his jaw. ]
Johnny Hardcore - Feel better now?
[ Tyler looks to be frothing at the mouth and shakes his head “no” ]
Johnny Hardcore - No surprise, I’d expect that from a high school flunkie.
[ Tyler goes bezerk and starts charging for Hardcore. Johnny rolls out of the ring as Tyler is left a screaming mad man like he was last week. Johnny walks towards the back not noticing the chaos in the ring. Tyler storms out of the ring, throws a couple of chairs and generally has a fit. ]
The Informer - High School flunkie???
Eddie Sensation - I dunno, seems to me like there’s more to Tyler than he’s ever let on.
Vic Canon - No kidding Eddie, I’m sure we’ll find more out about Ethan thanks to Johnny Hardcore.
[ As we go to a commercial, Tyler is still destroying ringside. ]
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
| Pre-Match Interview with Nomad
|
[ Nomad is in his locker room pulling on his black mesh shirt. As he slides his thumbs through the holes at the ends of the sleeves, Rob DiMarco walks in. ]
Rob DiMarco - Nomad! I see you're getting ready for your match, but are you mentally prepared to face Chandler for the EWA Heavyweight Title?
Nomad - Rob DiMarco, the consummate ass bandit. You see that title?
[ Nomad gestures to the EWA International Title sitting on a nearby bench. ]
Rob DiMarco - Uh, yeah....
Nomad - That means I'm ALWAYS ready. I'm always prepared. You don't get this title by being a slack-ass. I fought tooth and nail through this federation on three different occasions to capture that gold. And I've also fought tooth and nail once before to get my hands on that World Title Chandler currently possesses. And he may think he's hot shit because he's a three-time World Champ, eh? Does that impress you, Rob? Is that as impressive as our friend Clayton likes to think it is?
Rob DiMarco - Well, quite frankly, YES.
Nomad - Congratulations on being one of the blind mice, Robert. He's held that title three times. I've held it once. I've held MY title three times. He's held it NONE. So who do YOU think has the upper hand tonight? I DO, DIMARCO. Were you a good student, Rob?
Rob DiMarco - I guess so, mostly honor roll in high scho--
Nomad - Did you like history, by and chance?
Rob DiMarco - It was okay, I guess. Little boring, but yeah, I lik--
Nomad - Well then. History lesson. Who did Chandler defeat to get the World Title in the first place? He beat ME. He took that title away from ME. And tonight, I get my chance for revenge. I get my shot at taking it BACK. And no one, especially not that bitch-box Covington, can prevent that. Nothing can stop me. I made damn sure that "Crystal Clear" Cody Cuntbag is out of the arena and out of my way. Mr. Chandler....tonight, you get my full attention. And as soon as I become the first man to hold both the EWA World Title and the EWA International Title at the same time, I can focus all my effort on removing the blight known as C4 from the wrestling industry. Am I ready, Rob? What do YOU think?!
[ Nomad picks up his title and storms out of the room, leaving DiMarco standing there with his mic at his side like a limp dick. ]
MAIN EVENT: EWA World Heavyweight Title Match
Clayton Chandler (c) VS Nomad
|
Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the EWA World Heavyweight Championship!
[ "What You Got" by Reveille blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'2" and weighing in at 235 pounds, from New York, New York, Nomad!
[ Nomad steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - Here comes the EWA International Champion, Nomad! He is arguably the best International Champ of all time!
Vic Canon - In my opinion, that's Cody Covington.
Eddie Sensation - Shut up both of you!
[ "Ready or Not" by The Fugees blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'1" and weighing in at 230 pounds, from Shreveport, LA, Clayton Chandler!
[ Clayton Chandler steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - Wow, I just realized that this match has the EWA's two top champions squaring off!
Vic Canon - Damn right... The World Champion Chandler and the International Champion Nomad have fought many battles in the past. Inside and outside the EWA.... this should be great!
Eddie Sensation - ....Vic.... you just gave me the perfect opportunity, AGAIN.
[ Ding, Ding, Ding! ]
The Informer - AND WE'RE OFF! Nomad slides into the ring, and Chandler quickly gets all over him! Chandler is stomping away on Nomad!
Vic Canon - My god! Listen to the impact of those kicks! Nomad is trying to get up, but Chandler won't stop kicking him back down! Nomad crawls into the corner... and Chandler continues his kicking spree!
Eddie Sensation - Chandler is lifting Nomad to his feet in the corner... LOOK OUT!
The Informer - MY GOD!!! "THE ASSAULT" BY CHANDLER! Stiff, hard punches to the stomach, ribs, face, and lower body of Nomad!
Vic Canon - That must hurt like hell!
Eddie Sensation - Damn right... you can tell by the expression on his face!
The Informer - Chandler scoops up Nomad... Fisherman's Buster! He covers Nomad... 1.... 2.... easy kickout!
Vic Canon - Chandler picks up Nomad... he kicks him in the gut... SPIKE PILEDRIVER!! And now Chandler is going to try and lock on a Figure Four!
Eddie Sensation - Figure Four by Chandler! NO! Nomad kicks him square in the face, and Chandler stumbles back into the corner!
The Informer - Nomad gets to his feet... Chandler comes out of the corner.... SPEAR BY CHANDLER! Nomad goes down hard!
Vic Canon - And Chandler begins climbing to the top rope! High risk move coming up by Chandler.... he jumps!
Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT!
The Informer - GUILLOTINE LEG DROP! NO! NOMAD ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!
Vic Canon - Chandler's in pain, but he's getting to his feet.. and so is Nomad! Nomad with a punch to the face of Chandler! Again! And again!
Eddie Sensation - Nomad throws Chandler into the ropes.... OOH!!!!
The Informer - SPINEBUSTER BY NOMAD! Chandler gets up slowly.... Clothesline by Nomad! Chandler gets up AGAIN!
Vic Canon - Nomad kicks him in the gut... LOOK OUT!!!!
Eddie Sensation - FALL AWAY POWERBOMB!
The Informer - That's what Nomad calls "THE CROSSROADS"! Nomad goes for the cover.... 1..... 2....... JUST OUT!
Vic Canon - That was close! Nomad gets up, and waits for Chandler.... Chandler's up! LOOK OUT!!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - OH SHIT! THE WANDERING! HE NAILED IT!!!! NOMAD NAILED THE WANDERING!
The Informer - This is the beginning of the end for Chandler! AND THE FANS LOVE IT!
[ Blackout. ]
Vic Canon - Oh, shit. Now what?!
Eddie Sensation - Look at the EWA Big Screen!
[ The EWA Big Screen reads "EARLIER TONIGHT...." ]
The Informer - What's this?!
[ The camera cuts to the parking lot. "Crystal Clear" Cody Covington is seen talking to Ronny Garbage, who's in the limo. ]
c4 - So, you know what to do?
Ronny Garbage - Yeah, I get to the airport as soon as possible and search for GeniPher. If I find her I'll talk her into coming with me ... if I can't find her I come back here and pick you up.
c4 - Good job, bitch. Don't let me down. I shouldn't take too long...
Ronny Garbage - Returning that favor?
c4 - Rrrrright. Now get the hell out of here!
[ Cody smacks the roof of the limo and it speeds away. The camera zooms in on the brake lights and then goes back to ringside. ]
Vic Canon - WHAT THE HELL?!! CODY COVINGTON IS HERE?!
Eddie Sensation - LOOK! THERE HE IS!!!!!
The Informer - CODY COVINGTON IS HERE!!!!!! CODY COVINGTON IS HERE!!!!!! CODY COVINGTON IS HERE!!!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?!! HE JUST JUMPED OVER THE GUARDRAIL, AND IS NOW IN THE RING!!!!!!!
Vic Canon - CHANDLER IS STILL DOWN, AND NOMAD AND THE REF ARE STILL LOOKING AT THE SCREEN!!!!! FROM BEHIND, COVINGTON NAILS NOMAD!!!!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - HOLY SHIT!!!!! WHAT A MOVE!!!!!
The Informer - COVINGTON NAILED NOMAD WITH A REVERSE HURRACONRANA!!!! NOMAD'S NECK MIGHT BE BROKEN!!!!!!
Vic Canon - COVINGTON IS GETTING THE HELL OUT OF THE RING, HE'S HIDING BEHIND THE RING APRON!!!!
Eddie Sensation - CHECK IT OUT! Chandler just rolled on top of Nomad!
The Informer - CHANDLER COVERS NOMAD! THE REF COUNTS....... 1............. 2..........
Vic Canon - 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and STILL EWA World Heavyweight Champion, Clayton Chandler!
WINNER: Clayton Chandler by Pinfall
Eddie Sensation - WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM?!
The Informer - I dont know Eddie, but Chandler is getting the hell out of here with his World Heavyweight Title!
Vic Canon - Covington is back in the ring! Nomad is getting up! LOOK OUT NOMAD!!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - .........OOOH!!!!!!!! CLEARLY CRIPPLING!!!!!
The Informer - CLEARLY CRIPPLING!!!!! CLEARLY CRIPPLING!!!!! COVINGTON NAILED IT!!!!!!!!
Vic Canon - Nomad is out COLD! And now Cody Covington is looking for a microphone!
Eddie Sensation - Myers just handed him one! SHHHHH!!!!!
[ c4 grabs a microphone and rolls under the bottom ropes. Nomad is pulling himself up using the ring ropes as Cody just looks down at him with a huge smile on his face. ]
c4 - Did you REALLY think I'd miss out on this?
[ Cody spits on Nomad. ]
c4 - I wouldn't miss it for the world. Didn't I make it CLEAR enough for you earlier tonight when I told you I'd MAKE you regret what you did to me last week?!
[ Nomad is now hanging onto the middle rope and he's just about standing. Cody walks slowly to the opposite direction and looks back at Nomad. ]
c4 - Like they always say... payback is a bitch, and in this instance you are MY bitch!
[ c4 bounces off the ropes and runs full speed, delivering a bone crunching spear right to his ankle, sweeping his feet from under him Nomad lands on his face. Cody pulls him outside of the ring and walks him over to the announce table. He throws him into the steel steps and then takes a seat ontop of the announce table. ]
c4 - I am truly sorry for what I'm about to do, but you left me no choice by costing me my Television Title last week. Why did you do that to me Nomad?!? Why must you people always TAKE from me?!? With all this taking, it wouldn't be right for me not to GIVE back.
[ Cody hops off the announce table and signals for the announcers to head for higher hills. He then picks Nomad up by the hair and rolls him ontop of the announce table. ]
c4 - Doesn't this remind you of what happened last week? The names are still the same... but...
[ Covington jumps up on the announce table and tucks Nomads head between his legs. ]
c4 - THE TABLES..... HAVE..... TUURRRNED!!!!!
[ c4 gives Nomad the Clearly Crippling straight through the announce table. Cody is now just sitting on the ground with a glazed over look on his face. He rolls Nomad away from him and he stands up. ]
c4 - Oh yes, and before I forget.
[ Cody walks over to the timekeepers table and grabs the International Title. He then walks back to where Nomad is laying motionless. ]
c4 - Enjoy the title while you still have it. Because this son of a bitch is coming "home" on the 16th of next month.
[ Cody drops the title on top of Nomads chest causing him to flinch in pain. "My Own Summer(Shove It)" by the Deftones plays loudly over the speakers as the camera fades to black. ]
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
The Informer - Welcome back to Heat folks... and MY GOD! Did Cody Covington leave his mark or what?! During the break, Nomad got up and left with his International Title... but he didn't look to happy!
Vic Canon - You can say that again!
Eddie Sensation - So, now what guys? What's next..
The Informer - Well, Eddie.... Nothing!
[ "Serial Thrilla" by Prodigy blasts through the speakers... ]
The Informer - What the hell?! That's Serial Thrylla's music!
Vic Canon - And here he comes!
[ Serial Thrylla steps out from behind the curtain to a huge pop. He has a microphone in hand already, and is walking towards the ring at a speedy pace. He looks determined, and ready to speak. Serial Thrylla gets into the ring as his pyro goes off, and begins to speak. ]
Eddie Sensation - He has a mic! What's he going to say?!
The Informer - I'm sure we all know what he's going to address...
Serial Thrylla - Alabama--
[ Before he can say another word The Regulators jump over the guardrails from opposite sides. Rick Ramos slides into the ring, and Johnny Rage walks around the outside of the ring. ]
Vic Canon - WHAT THE HELL?! THE REGULATORS ARE HERE!! THIS IS THE FIRST TIME WE'VE SEEN THEM ALL NIGHT!
[ Suddenly, Clayton Chandler runs to the ring, kendo stick in hand… ]
The Informer - Here we go guys! Chandler said he was gonna make the right choice tonight, and now's the time! What's it gonna be?
Vic Canon - Clayton Chandler and Serial Thrylla are like brothers! The choice here is obvious! Take out the Regulators, Chandler! Take 'em out!!
Eddie Sensation - I say he takes 'em both out! C'mon now, you know Chandler's the kind of guy to do something like that!
[ As Chandler rolls through the ropes and into the ring along with his kendo stick, both Rick Ramos and Serial Thrylla are dead on their feet in the ring, directly beside each other. Johnny Rage is on the outside, watching and waiting for Thrylla do to something. ]
The Informer - Here it comes! Whose it gonna be?
Eddie Sensation - C'MON CHANDLER! DO SOMETHING!!!!
[ Standing in front and between the two men, and seeing their pitiful shape, Chandler can only sigh. With the tiniest of effort, Chandler pulls the stick back and…. ]
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vic Canon - YES YES YES!!! CHANDLER JUST TOOK OUT RICK RAMOS WITH THAT KENDO STICK!!! BROTHERS FOREVER!!
Eddie Sensation - I'm sticking by my prediction, Thrylla isn't out of the clear yet!!
The Informer - You're absolutely right Eddie, and Chandler's looking at Thrylla now! Look at these fans on their feet!!!
[ Chandler looks at Serial Thrylla, and gives the same depressed sigh he gave Ramos earlier. Chandler once again reaches back with the kendo stick and…. ]
[ …and… ]
[ …and… ]
……………….
[ NO SIR! ]
Vic Canon - YES YES YES, I'M RIGHT AGAIN!!! CHANDLER JUST THREW DOWN THAT KENDO STICK, AND IS NOW ASKING THRYLLA FOR A HIGH FIVE!!!
Eddie Sensation - Matt Daniels was right, they swerved us again!
The Informer - LISTEN TO THE MIXED REACTION FROM THESE FANS! AND THERES THE HIGH FIVE!
Vic Canon - And now Chandler's asking for a mic!! Lets listen to the man speak! Preach the word, my brotha!!
[ Chandler grabs the mic from Chris Myers and stands in the middle of the ring, facing towards the cameras. He holds the mic in his right hand, his left is draped around Serial Thrylla. ]
Chandler - Yes, yes, yes. That is CORRECT! Come on now, y'all shoulda seen that shit coming!
[ Heat ]
The Informer - Listen to all the smart marks saying they called it! I gotta admit, so did I!
[ Chandler resumes. ]
Chandler - You see, NO ONE ignores the word of Clayton Chandler. NO ONE. That's why, with the help of memories and nostalgia, I have SHOWN SERIAL THRYLLA THE LIGHT!!
[ The crowd goes silent. ]
Chandler - THAT'S RIGHT! I TOLD YOU WE PATCHED THINGS UP! SERIAL THRYLLA NOW SEES YOU FOR THE PIECES OF SHIT THAT YOU SONS OF BITCHES ARE! AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, LISTEN TO THE MAN HIMSELF! TELL 'EM THRYLLA, TELL 'EM! YOU HATE EM, YOU HATE EM DON'T YA!!!
[ Johnny Rage is now standing behind Serial Thrylla and Clayton Chandler with a steel chair! ]
[ The fans are on the edge of their seats awaiting Thrylla's response. ]
Chandler - C'MON, TELL EM MAN! SPREAD THE GOOD WORD, SERIAL THRYLLA!!!
[ Chandler finally hands the microphone over to Serial Thrylla, as Johnny Rage spit shines the chair, waiting to attack at the right moment… ]
Serial Thrylla - Well, I gotta admit……
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!
The Informer - WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?
[ Right before Thrylla could give his response, Johnny Rage ran up to the two newly refound allies, and passing right by Chandler, cracked the back of Serial Thrylla's head open! Chandler quickly grabs the microphone which had fallen out of Serial Thrylla's hand, and is now screaming into it! ]
Chandler - WHAT THE HELL?! Rage, you fuckhead, you just ruined our moment! YOU JUST RUINED OUR SPOTLIGHT! AND NO ONE TAKES MY FUCKING SPOTLIGHT!!! SO FOR THAT, FOR THAT SHIT JOHNNY RAGE, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO…..
[ Rage, with chair in hand, slowly walks towards Chandler, ready to swing. The fans are going nuts! ]
Chandler - You're gonna have to…..ummm…..
[ Inching closer, Rage mouths "DO WHAT?!" ]
Chandler - ummm, Yeah! That's it! You're gonna have to…have to…YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO BEAT HIS FUCKING ASS!!!! GET HIM!!!
[ Rage turns around, runs towards the fallen Serial Thrylla, and begins repeatedly and viciously striking him with the chair, as Chandler pulls the mic down from his mouth and, now facing the crowd, puts that shit-eating grin on his face that every wrestling fan in America knows and despises. ]
The Informer - WHAT!??!!??!?!
Vic Canon - OH MY GOD, NO WAY, NO WAY!!!
Eddie Sensation - YES YES YES, SETUP SETUP SETUP!!!!
[ As Rage continues to beat down Serial Thrylla with the steel chair, Chandler once again pulls the mic to his face. ]
Chandler - THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S RIGHT, KICK HIS ASS! KICK THAT FAN-LOVING PIECE OF SHIT'S ASS!!! KILL HIS BITCH-ASS RAGE, HE'S NOTHING BUT AN OVERHYPED PIECE OF SHIT!!! HERE, GIMMIE THAT DAMN THING!!!
[ Chandler grabs the chair from Rage, trading him for Chandler's kendo stick. And Rage continues to attack with the stick, Chandler lays in a few VICIOUS blows to the fallen body of Serial Thrylla with the chair before throwing it to the ground. Chandler grabs Serial Thrylla by the hair, and putting the two men's faces together, has some choice words for the legend. Then, ruthlessly, Chandler SPITS directly in the face of Thrylla, and then forcefully drops his head back to the canvas. ]
[ He grabs his mic again. ]
Chandler - OH YEAH, OH HELL YEAH HOTSHOT, THAT'S RIGHT!!! DID YOU ACTUALLY THINK I WOULD ALLY WITH YOU AFTER ALL THAT SHIT WE WENT THROUGH IN HIW…AFTER ALL THAT SHIT WE WENT THROUGH HERE?!? OH HELL NO, MISTER THRYLLA, NO NO NO!!!
Chandler - BECAUSE YOU SEE SERIAL THRYLLA, YOU PIECE OF SHIT, I KNEW GOOD AND WELL YOU WEREN'T LISTENING TO ONE FUCKING WORD I WAS SAYING TO YOU THESE LAST WEEKS, NOT A WORD!!! SO THAT'S WHY I PLANNED THIS!!!
[ Chandler begins pacing back and forth in the ring as he speaks. ]
Chandler - OH YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, THIS WAS THE PLAN ALLLL ALONG YOU TECHNO DJ MOTHERFUCKER!!! SINCE DAY 1! SINCE WE RETURNED TO THE EWA!!! I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN, I KNEW IT!!! SO THAT'S WHY I TOOK THIS MAN, JONNY RAGE…
Chandler - I TOOK THIS MAN AND, I GAVE HIM THE TRUTH!!! THE DAMN TRUTH!!! HE'S HEARD THE FUCKING MESSAGE, HE'S SEEN THE FUCKING LIGHT, YOU CUNT!!! ALL ALONG, IT WASN'T YOU I WAS TALKING TO, IT WAS RAGE!! ALL A FUCKIN' LONG, SERIAL THRYLLA, ALL ALONG!!!
Chandler - YOU'RE WORTHLESS!!! THERE'S NO HOPE FOR YOU, SERIAL THRYLLA, NONE!!!
[ Rage slacks off on his assault on Thrylla, just a bit. ]
Chandler - OH HELL NO, KEEP BEATING THAT MOTHERFUCKER'S ASS!!!
[ And, as if brainwashed, Rage does just that…continue the beating. ]
Chandler - HEY, INTERNET, SWERVE THIS MOTHERFUCKERS, SWERVE THIS SHIT!! MATT DANIELS, HERE'S YOUR SWERVE, YOU BITCH!! COME OUT HERE RIGHT NOW, AND I'LL SWERVE MY FOOT STRAIGHT UP YOUR ASS!!!
Chandler - HEY, HEY TOM STONE!!! HERE'S YOUR RATINGS RIGHT HERE BITCH, HERE'S YOUR FUCKING RATINGS!! LIKE WHAT YA SEE, DO YA?!?! I HOPE YOU DO, BECAUSE THIS IS ONLY THE START!!! AND THE NEXT PHASE OF THIS WAR, THIS CIVIL WAR, BEGINS NOW!!!
Chandler - JOHNNY RAGE, LOOK AT ME!!!
[ Rage immediately halts everything he is doing, and stares at Clayton Chandler with a hollow snide countenance. ]
Chandler - You go out there right now…AND YOU BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF RICK RAMOS!!!
The Informer/Vic Canon - WHAT??!?!
Eddie Sensation - I DON'T BELIEVE THIS SHIT, BUT IT SURE IS GREAT!!!
Vic Canon - IN JUST 10 MINUTES, THE EWA HAS BEEN TURNED UPSIDE DOWN!!!
[ Johnny Rage leaves the ring and heads towards his (ex) tag team partner, Rick Ramos. Then, with a vicious blow to the head of his fallen body, he takes Ramos out with the same steel chair which destroyed Serial Thrylla. As this is going on, Chandler gives his closing remarks… ]
Chandler - YOU WANT ANSWERS?!? YOU WANT CLUES?!?! YOU WANNA KNOW WHY JOHNNY RAGE DID THIS?!? TUNE IN NEXT WEEK, AND EVERYONE, EVERYONE, WILL BE TREATED TO ANOTHER DOSE, ANOTHER SWEET, SWEET DOSE…..OF P R I D E .
[ Chandler throws his microphone into the stands as he exits the ring and begins aiding Rage in his assault of Rick Ramos. Our ending shot is of the face of Serial Thrylla, bloody and wan, staring blankly into the lights. Each passing streak of blood stains his beaten face. ]
The Informer - Pride? PRIDE?!?! LAST TIME HE PULLED THAT SHIT I GOT PUT IN THE HOSPITAL!!!
Vic Canon - INFORMER, THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE HERE. THE ISSUE IS THAT THE REGULATORS HAVE BROKEN UP!!! THE GREATEST TAG TEAM IN EWA HISTORY IS, WELL, HISTORY!!! OH MY GOD!!!
Eddie Sensation - LIGHTEN UP, THIS IS GREAT!!!
The Informer - Well, whether its Serial Thrylla or not, someone needs to stop this before it starts! DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN!!!
Vic Canon - I CAN ONLY IMAGINE WE'LL GET JOHNNY RAGE'S EXPLANATION NEXT WEEK ON HEAT!!! AND IT BETTER BE GOOD!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IT BETTER BE GOOD!!!
The Informer - FANS, WE'RE OUT OF TIME!!! NEXT WEEK, ANSWERS, NEXT WEEK!!!!
[ Serial Thrylla's face…bloody and wan…staring into the lights… ]
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