[ The camera brings us to a shot of the EWA symbol, which quickly fades to black. We then see a montage of clips from the EWA's last Tuesday Night Heat show. After a 2-3 minute video is show, the EWA Tuesday Night Heat video is played. Many clips of past matches, current superstars and pyro are shown. We are then brought to a shot of inside the Denver Coliseum in Denver, Colorado, where THOUSANDS upon THOUSANDS of fans have flooded the Denver Coliseum! After a quick view of the fans signs, we are brought to a shot of the annouce table, where The Informer, Vic Canon and Eddie Sensation are ready to kick of Tuesday Night Heat... ]The Informer - THIS IS THE EWA.... AND IT'S TUESDAY NIGHT! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT DEADLY COMBO GIVES US??
Vic Canon - TWO HOURS OF THE EWA'S TUESDAY NIGHT HEAT!!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - You guys are pretty excited, huh?!
The Informer - Damn right Eddie! Welcome to Tuesday Night Heat folks, and I'm The Informer! Vic Canon, Eddie Sensation and myself will be with you for the next two hours giving you play-by-play! And what a night you've chosen to join us!
Vic Canon - I couldn't have said it any better myself! Tonight we have 2 North American Title Tournament Matches... an OPEN CHALLENGE by Tiki Tortez, which is also for the EWA Extreme Championship..
Eddie Sensation - We've got a damn DOGPOUND DEATH MATCH.... [Rolls eyes]
The Informer - Ha! Also on the card... Crisqo will take on Drew Norwood! Bruce Evans and Kurt Poser will debut against the odd team of Madman and Jonathan Creed....
Vic Canon - Lorenzo Hayes will take on ALL FOUR of Don Michaels' Paparazzi... and of course, the double main event.. two SOLID Tag Team Matches! Ethan Tyler and Nomad versus The Brink and Cody Covington.... AND, Chandler and Serial Thrylla versus Thorn and Anton Bailey!
Eddie Sensation - Hot damn! I cant wait!
The Informer - And neither can I! So lets get this show started!
Pre-Match Interview with 100 Percent [ 100 Percent walks out of his locker room with BBoys Mo' and T-Dawg following along. 100 looks at DiMarco. DiMarco looks back at him with the same amount of respect 100 is giving him. Mo' with his boombox puts on breakin music 100 starts poppin and slidin around DiMarco then says... ]
100 Percent - Your turn bitch.
Rob DiMarco - Uh...I didn't mean that.
100 Percent - Well what the fuck did you mean asshole?!
Rob DiMarco - You know...a pre-match interview...?
100 Percent - Then why'd you look at me that way?! Whatevah, get on wit' it.
[ 100 signals Mo' to shut off the music. ]
Rob DiMarco - Your debut is also with Athony DePalma, what do you think of DePalma?
100 Percent - Well, good thing I didn't follow up with CWA after 3DW or else I wouldn't get to kick DePalma's ass.
Rob DiMarco - CWA?
Mo' - Caucasian's Wit' Attitude, get wit' it.
100 Percent - No you idiot! ...Anyway, DePalma has just made the biggest mistake of his life.
Mo' - What? Is his girlfriend a black woman who can think for herself? Sometimes those bitches be nasty.
100 Percent - Shut up Mo', that's why we have black, booty girls...stupid. Well DePalma is two seconds away from gettin his ass beat by the one and only, "The Whole Show", 100 Percent. DePalma will be pushed to the max, he won't be able to handle that.
Rob DiMarco - Well uh...I give you good luck.
100 Percent - How 'bout five minutes of my life I just wasted with you? Come on fellas.
[ BBoys follow 100 as they walk away. ]
Pre-Match Interview with Anthony DePalma Rachel Stevens - Well guys I'm standing here with Anthony DePalma!
Anthony DePalma - Yo, babe.
Rachel Stevens - Well, er, Anthony, wheres your wife?
[ Suddenly Cyndi comes walking into the scene. ]
Cyndi DePalma - Oh hiya Rach, LOVE what ya've done to your face!
Rachel Stevens - Yeah, great. Now, Anthony, tonight you step in the ring with 100% and you try and advance in the North American title tournament....
Anthony DePalma - Yeah okay I know. 100%, you know you're a matter of minutes away from me pounding your ass through the mat and making it through. You know this, I know this, the world knows this. So punk, pave 'way for the next sensation, Anthony DePalma!
[ Anthony walks off as Cyndi hands Rachel some perfume ]
Rachel Stevens - Er, back to you guys...
EWA North American Title Tournament Match
Anthony DePalma vs. 100 PercentChris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is an EWA North American Title Tournament Match!
[ "Ride Wit' Me" by Nelly blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'3" and weighing in at 245 pounds, from Washington, DC, 100 Percent!
[ 100 Percent steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
[ "Clubbed To Death" by Rob D blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'1" and weighing in at 243 pounds, from Milan, Italy, Anthony DePalma!
[ Anthony DePalma steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - And this match is underway! DePalma charges at 100 Percent.... Fireman's carry! DePalma hits the mat, but gets right back up! 100 Percent kicks him in the gut.... OOH! Gargoyle Suplex! And Anthony DePalma hits the mat again!
Vic Canon - 100 Percent goes for the cover... the ref counts... 1.... 2.... No! DePalma with an easy kick out!
Eddie Sensation - What the hell is a Gargoyle suplex?
The Informer - You just saw it! DePalma is back up... 100 Percent scoops him.... Wham! Half-turn Samoan Drop! DePalma goes down again, and this time he rolls out of the ring!
Vic Canon - Right into the arms of his wife, Cyndi DePalma!
Eddie Sensation - GOD DAMN! What the hell is she doing in WRESTLING?! She should be doing playboy or something!
The Informer - Watch it Eddie! She might take offense to that!
Eddie Sensation - WHAT?! How do you figure?!
The Informer - Just shut up, smile, and nod.
Vic Canon - [Smiles and nods] Like that!
Eddie Sensation - [Slaps Vic] You moron!
The Informer - Anyway.... back to the action! Anthony DePalma is now standing at ringside... and Cyndi is climbing the steps... and she's on the apron!
Vic Canon - What the hell for?!
Eddie Sensation - Well, to do that! She has the referee AND 100 Percent's attention!
The Informer - Anthony DePalma jumps onto the top rope! He jumps! 100 Percent turns around!
Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!!! WHAM!!!! CORKSCREW MOONSAULT!!!!
Eddie Sensation - That could be the end of it!
The Informer - The ref counts... 1..... 2...... NOOOH!!!! 100 Percent JUST got his shoulder up! But look! DePalma is climbing back up there again! He's balancing himself... and he jumps!
Vic Canon - OOOH!!! Elbow Drop from the top rope! He goes for the cover again.... the ref counts... 1..... 2...... no! 100 Percent with another kick out! And AGAIN, DePalma is climbing to the top rope!
Eddie Sensation - This is the third time in a row! It could be his lucky number!!
The Informer - He jumps! NO!!! 100 Percent moved! DePalma went for a Senton Bomb, but 100 Percent moved out of the way! DePalma landed right on his back!
Vic Canon - 100 Percent is up... and DePalma is getting to his feet! 100 Percent charges at him! SPINNING HEEL KICK!!! NO!! NO!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - HA! DePalma ducked and 100 Percent nailed the referee with that Spinning Heel Kick!
The Informer - 100 Percent turns around, and this time he NAILS DePalma with the Spinning Heel Kick! Now both Anthony DePalma and the referee are down!
Vic Canon - But 100 Percent is working on the referee! He's trying to revive him... and now 100 Percent is coming towards us!
Eddie Sensation - DAMMIT! He took my water! What the hell!!!!
The Informer - 100 Percent is in the ring, with that water! Wait! Look! Cyndi DePalma is on the apron!
Vic Canon - And she now has 100 Percent's attention!
Eddie Sensation - With a body like that, how COULDN'T you get someone's attention?!
The Informer - But look! Cyndi is wearing one shoe! She has her other shoe in her hand, behind her back!
Vic Canon - And look! Anthony DePalma is getting up! He sees 100 Percent distracted.... he's sneaking up behind him!
Eddie Sensation - CYNDI SWINGS! WHAM!!!!!!!!
The Informer - OH NO!! 100 PERCENT DUCKED, AND CYNDI NAILED HER HUSBAND WITH HER SHOE!!!!
Vic Canon - 100 Percent shoves her off the apron, and see's the referee getting to his feet! 100 Percent goes for the cover... the ref crawls over and counts..... 1....... 2...... 3!!!!!
Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and therefore advancing in the North American Title Tournament... 100 Percent!
Eddie Sensation - Uh oh! DePalma is going to be one pissed off guy when he gets up!
The Informer - You can say that again! But a win is a win, and 100 Percent has advanced!
Vic Canon - Now, lets do some advancing of our own.... and move on with the show!
Backstage... [ GeniPher, former valet and girlfriend of Cody Covington is shown arriving in the backstage area with a piece of paper. ]
Eddie Sensation - What is GeniPher doing here?? I thought her and Cody were over with!
The Informer - Good call Eddie, but what is with that piece of paper in her hand?
[ GeniPher has a confused look on her face as she wanders around the backstage area of the arena looking for something. ]
Backstage... [ Scene opens up in the locker room of Lorenzo Hayes. Lorenzo, who is wearing his wrestling gear, has his eyes covered with his typical Oakley silver shades. As Lorenzo ties up his boots, he goes into a conversation with his beautiful fiancée Dominique Toto. ]
Dominique Toto - Lorenzo are you sure you're going to be able to take on all 4 members of the paparazzi?
Lorenzo Hayes - Dominique, who am I?
Dominique Toto - You're Lorenzo Hayes.
Lorenzo Hayes - Exactly, and an obvious answer to your ridiculous question of course I'm going to be able to take on all four of Don Michaels lackey's, and not only will I be able to handle them, but I am going to make a fool out of them!
Dominique Toto - We'll I hope so I don't want you getting hurt before your match at the pay per view.
Lorenzo Hayes - Well then why don't you come to the ring with me? I could need some moral support off of you, cause I could end up getting bored of beating them!
Dominique Toto - Are you sure I won't get hurt?
Lorenzo Hayes - Trust me, you have nothing to worry about! Look who your escorting to the ring, "ThE kInG oF gLiTz AnD gLaMoUr" Lorenzo Hayes, there's not a chance of you getting hurt!
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
Pre-Match Interview with Lex Lethal Rob DiMarco - I'm here now with Lex Lethal just before his match with Moral...in a unique match...a dogpound deathmatch! Lex...are you worried in any way at all?
Lex Lethal - Why in the fuck would I have any worries? It's Moral!
Rob DiMarco - Last week on Heat Moral seemed to have a bit of control over you...
Lex Lethal - Why the fuck are you living in the past? It's THIS week you should be worrying about you dumb muthafucka!
Rob DiMarco - You have to have at least some sort of thought in the back of your head that something could go wrong with all those dogs in the cage.
Lex Lethal - What those little puppies?
Rob DiMarco - Those "little puppies" are full grown, starning dobermens! You can't stand there and tell me you don't have a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach!
Lex Lethal - DiMarco...your starting to piss me off already...when I break out of the cage and leave Moral in there with the dogs... I'll be the one laughing throwing raw steak into the ring. Now if you'll excuse me... I do have a match!
Rob DiMarco - Over to you Rachel!
Pre-Match Interview with Moral Rachel Stevens - Moral, in a few minutes you will be stepping foot in the ring with Lex Lethal. Now, this isn't any pinfall match, this is a Dogpound deathmatch, one of your own creations. Mind telling us a little bit about why you chose this?
Moral - You see Rachel, it's like this. Lex Lethal had the nerve to screw around with me a few weeks ago, so I'm going to step it up a little bit and screw around with him for awhile, and what better to add a tiny stipulation to the match! That's right, a Dogpound Deathmatch! Lethal obviously thinks he can provide the balls big enough to fuck with me, so why not put them to the test?! I can tell you right now Lethal, you're going to come out a losing man...your life is going to change after tonight, for the worst...PREPARE TO DIE!! [Evil laughter]
Rachel Stevens - So, obviously you seem pretty confident about taking the win tonight. Do you think Lex Lethal will be a tough opponent, or will you enter the match thinking he is a pushover?
Moral - Your speaking to Moral here Rachel, did you forget that already?! Moral gives praise to no one except himself! So, in answer to your question...hell no I don't think Lethal will be a tough opponent! You know the old saying Rachel, "got caught in the jaws of defeat", well tonight I'm going to tweak that saying a little bit...Lethals going to get caught in the jaws of a blood thirsty, rabid pack of dogs!! Now get out of my face!! It's match time!!
Rachel Stevens - Ummmm, over to you guys at ringside!
Dogpound Death Match
Moral vs. Lex LethalChris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Dogpound Death Match!
[ "Awww Shit" by Tha Alkaholiks blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'4" and weighing in at 273 pounds, from London, Ontario, Canada, Lex Lethal!
[ Lex Lethal steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
[ "Children Of The Korn" by Korn blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'4" and weighing in at 278 pounds, from Hells Kitchen, New York, Moral!
[ Moral steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - What a weird match this is going to be.... a Doberman Dogpound Death Match!
Vic Canon - DOZENS and DOZENS of Doberman's will be kept in a Cage... once ONE of these two goes THROUGH THE CAGE (not over the top), the Dobermans will be released into the ring! Leaving the loser with a load of trouble on his hands!
Eddie Sensation - That.... is..... so..... gay....
The Informer - Easy Eddie! There's the bell, and the cage is lowered! This match is underway!
Vic Canon - Moral charges at Lex Lethal, and slams his head on the mat! Again! Again! And again and again and again!!!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - Damn! Now he's grating Lethal's face against the side of the cage!
The Informer - Moral is pissed! He grabs Lethal, and lifts him to his feet... He sets him up.... WHAM!!! BIG TIME Powerbomb!
Vic Canon - Lethal is down and out in the middle of the ring! But Moral isnt done... He grabs Lex Letha's legs, and puts hiim in a Figure Four!
Eddie Sensation - Oooh shit! Lethal is screwed now! Moral NEVER has to let go of this hold! He could kill Lethal, and it will be perfectly legal!
The Informer - You're always thinking of death and harm, aren't you Eddie?? Geeze.... Moral has it locked on, and Lex Lethal is screming in pain!
Vic Canon - But Moral releases the hold! That was a stupid move...
Eddie Sensation - Well what do you expect? That's Moral in the ring! HA!
The Informer - Moral digs in his boot... and what does he have?
Vic Canon - WIRE CUTTERS! Moral is cutting a hole in the side of the cage! He's ready to end this match!
Eddie Sensation - He's got half a circle cut out! And it's HUGE!
The Informer - But look! Lex Lethal is getting to his feet!
Vic Canon - He charges at Moral, from behind! OOH! Knee's to the back! Lethal with knee's to the back of Moral!
Eddie Sensation - Now he grabs him... look out!
The Informer - OOH!! Belly-To-Back Suplex by Lethal! But he turns around, and quickly gets back on Moral. He hooks him.... Swinging Neckbreaker!
Vic Canon - Lethal now backs off, and watches Moral struggle to get to his feet.. Moral is on his feet! Lethal bounces off the ropes....
Eddie Sensation - ....WHAM!!!!
The Informer - Flying Forearm! Lethal nailed him with it!
Vic Canon - And now Lethal is lifting Moral to his feet. He's taunting him... and now he throws Moral into the side of the cage!
Eddie Sensation - Lethal picks him up off the mat, and throws him into the opposide side of the cage!
The Informer - Moral is taking a beating now!
Vic Canon - Lethal picks him up again.... he spins, and throws Moral into the side of the cage!
Eddie Sensation - WAIT, NO!!
The Informer - THERE'S THE BELL! LETHAL THREW MORAL THROUGH THE HOLE IN THE SIDE OF THE CAGE! MORAL WINS!
Chris Myers - And the winner of this match... Moral!
Vic Canon - And the Doberman's are loose! They're attacking Lex Lethal!
Eddie Sensation - HA! This is what I was waiting for!
The Informer - DAMN! Lethal is taking a beating! Those dogs are biting away at him! He cant defend himself!
Vic Canon - And look at Moral! He's LAUGHING! Fans, we have to take a break! But we'll keep the camera's rolling! Dont go away!
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
The Informer - Welcome back to Heat fans, and as you can see... Lex Lethal is being taken away in an ambulance. Who knows what diseases he could have picked up!Vic Canon - Yeah, I didnt even think of that... well, we'll keep you updated on this situation as we get more news on it....
Backstage... [ From a distance, we can see Anthony DePalma and his wife, Cyndi DePalma having an arguement. Anthony suddenly turns around, yells something, and gets into his car. He speeds away from the arena as Cyndi watches in disbeleif. ]
Earlier Today... [ The EWA screen flashes back with the logo and shows a contract office in EWA's headquarters. People are running around everywhere, Tom Stone's voice is heard screaming at somebody, and arguments are shouted back and forth between The Informer and Eddie Sensation. The camera cuts to an office with somebody sitting behind a desk tapping his fingers lightly on a piece of paper humming to himself, shutting the outside noise out. Madman walks in the room in day clothes and sits down in the seat. ]
Madman - What's up man?
Off-Screen "Boss" - I need you to sign this contract. Go ahead and read it.
[ Madman bends over and reads the paper slowly. You can see by the expressions on his face how he takes it. ]
Madman - You want me to tag with Creed tomorrow night!? I thought I had the night off!
Off-Screen "Boss" - It's because...
Madman - Who the fuck made this piece of shit match up?! NO! I'm not going to tag with him on Heat! Two reasons, one I hate his ass to hell, and two I have the night off!
Off-Screen "Boss" - Matt, you HAD the night off, but not now. You know what the rules are. Sign the match and show up, or be suspended until you are wanted back.
Madman - How long is that?
Off-Screen "Boss" - Until the booking committee or Tom Stone wants you to return.
[ Madman leans over himself and buries his head in his arms, rubbing his face and head trying to think. ]
Madman - Well, it's just a regular mixed tag team match like it says, or am I supposed to expect a special stip being added later?
Off-Screen "Boss" - Just a regular old tag team match. That's it. Tom wants you to to get along and put your differences aside, mainly because he wants Kurt Poser to leave him alone for one night.
Madman - So it's Tom who made this!? HAH! What, does he think he can use me as a shield for his own protection so he can get some rest for once?! That's bullshit! I'm supposed to have tomorrow night off, so I can get my much needed peace and quiet time!
Off-Screen "Boss" - Frankly Matt, when you sign the contact to wrestle in the Extreme Wrestling Association, it's like selling your soul to the devil, Tom Stone. Once you sign, HE OWNS YOU!
Madman - And why does that make you tell me what to do? Because you are owned by him too?
Off-Screen "Boss" - I don't wrestle. I handle other things to do. I didn't give my life away. Are you going to sign or depart yourself for however long?
[ The camera zooms in on Madman, thinking hard. He picksup the pen...and hesitates, and finally signs his name across the paper. ]
Madman - Nobody owns me man...Nobody.
[ He then walks out of teh building quickly mumbling to himself. The screen flashes white as if to edit time out and in comes walking Jonathan Creed. ]
Jonathan Creed - Hey, how's it going?
Off-Screen "Boss" - I'm doing a little alright...
Jonathan Creed - I didn't ask if how YOU were doing! Idiot.
[ He sits down and props his fet on the desk, and begins to read the paper. ]
Jonathan Creed - ....How'd you managed to get him to sign this?
Off-Screen "Boss" - Wasn't that easy. I had a little manipulation and preaching to do.
Jonathan Creed - Figures. That guy's about as smart as a chocolate chip in a cookie.
Off-Screen "Boss" - .....Um, seems like...
Jonathan Creed - I didn't ask for your opinion.
[ He leans back on the chair and reads it thoroughly. ]
Jonathan Creed - Did Tom or Dave want this.
Off-Screen "Boss" - Tom Stone for his own personal reasons...
Jonathan Creed - Hhuuuummmmmmmm...Okay. Any idea why he's trying to add fuel to the fire? Besides ratings, or is that exactly why?
Off-Screen "Boss" - Let's just say, it's so he doesn't get a big head-ache for the night.
Jonathan Creed - Whatever. Give me a pen. I'll do this match but if he tries anything it's going to a singles match, I mean it.
[ He signs the paper and walks out calling Tom an asshole. ]
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
Pre-Match Interview with Lorenzo Pierro Rachel Stevens - I'm here with Lorenzo Pierro just before his match vs El GiGante in which the winner will go to the PPV as a serious condenter for the North Amercian title. What are your thoughts on this Lorenzo?
Lorenzo Pierro - Well it's obvious isn't it, you dumb blonde? The beating of him by me.
Rachel Stevens - [Ingoring his last comment] Now we all know your feelings on El Giante because of his country of orgin but the question is why...What is your promblem with Mexico?
Lorenzo Pierro - Well Mexico aside for the minute it's obvious that he is an extremly educated person. I mean I looked through his stuff a while back and do you know he made 5 comments about my ass? Where do people get the creative energy to come out with this stuff? I'm gonna make sure I don't get into intense coversations with him otherwise I might be blown away by his other uses of extensive vocab. But the promblem is ....Actually there are a lot of promblems with Mexico but I wouldn't want to state comment facts that everybody knows. It's this simple, Mexico is the home of the scrum of the world, hell those people would be shot on Sight in Italy. The streets are full of liter and sewage, and yet El Giante says he is proud to be Mexican, Proud to represent world's litter tray??? Repeated chair shots can't even save him but I will try my best.
Rachel Stevens - What about his bodyguard.. Aren't you worried he might try to stop you getting the upperhand tonight?
Lorenzo Pierro - Ah.. yes.. Zoomer.. it's funny how one person who says he can take down anybody in the EWA and yet needs a bodyguard to run in if things looks bad. Fuck that you fucking coward. We all know that Zoomer is out there because you can't beat anybody on your own. I guess there is nothing I can do to stop Zoomer but if he does poke his nose in then you agree to everything I just said. Think on that before you come out [With poor mexcian accent] Essa
EWA North American Title Tournament Match
El GiGante vs. Lorenzo PierroChris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is an EWA North American Title Tournament Match!
[ The Godfather Theme blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'2" and weighing in at 245 pounds, from Rome, Italy, Lorenzo Pierro!
[ Lorenzo Pierro steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
Pre-Match Interview with El GiGante [ Rachel Stevens, El GiGante and ZOOMER are all standing in front of an EWA Banner. Rachel has a cordless microphone in hand and speaks right into it to start the interview off. ]
Rachel Stevens - Right here I'm standing with El GiGante and his bodyguard ZOOMER. El how are you today?
El GiGante - Ahh nothing could be better chica. My new Chevy Nova is pimping all the chicas. I'm the new pimp around town chica. Now I'd like to make an offer that you can't refuse Mr. Stevens.
Rachel Stevens - What would that be?
El GiGante - How about starting tomorrow chica you could be the biggest hoe around now. You dig?
Rachel Stevens - No I will not be your hoe Mr. GiGante. I am no man's women what so ever. No more questions about it.
El GiGante - Aight then chica.... Your loss and my gain!
Rachel Stevens - NO, its your loss! I think you should be concentrating more on your big match tonight with Lorenzo Pierro in the first round of the North American title tournament.
El GiGante - HA! Lorenzo Pierro is total s*it esa. I am the only true man of winning this tournament esa. El GiGante will reign supreme like usual and it starts off with that trash talking little punk Pierro.
Rachel Stevens - Don't you think your taking him just a tad lightly?
El GiGante - Hell nah chica. What are you thinking? Who even let this punk in this tournament esa. What has he done so far? NOTHING! Thats what the meng has done. And tonight I'll make he doesn't nothing again. Pierro just bring your sorry @#$ to the ring to be totally annihilated esa. Your @#$ is about to feel what DEATH really IS!
Rachel Stevens - Well there you go. Back to you guys.....
[ "Rap Superstar" by Cypress Hill blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 5'10" and weighing in at 175 pounds, from Brooklyn, New York, El GiGante!
[ El GiGante steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - And there's the bell! The last first round match of the North American Title Tournament is underway!
Vic Canon - They lock up...
Eddie Sensation - GiGante is out-powering him!
The Informer - Wrong! Pierro has him! And he grabs him in an arm lock! "Code Red Armlock" applied by Lorenzo Pierro!
Vic Canon - GiGante tries to shake out of it, but it only hurts him more! GiGante kicks Pierro in the side of the leg, but Pierro just tightens the hold, and GiGante goes down on his knees!
Eddie Sensation - He has him on his knees! ...Hahaha!!
The Informer - Stupidness, Eddie... thats just stupidness. El GiGante crawls over to the ropes, and grabs ahold!
Vic Canon - Lorenzo Pierro must release the hold, and he does!
Eddie Sensation - GiGante slowly gets up, with his back to Pierro...
The Informer - Pierro grabs him.... GERMAN SUPLEX! Perfectly executed!
Vic Canon - He goes for the pin... the ref counts.... 1.... 2....
Eddie Sensation - No! GiGante kicks out!
The Informer - And Pierro goes right back to work... he pounces on GiGante, and begins to punch him in the face!
Vic Canon - Left, right, left, right, left, right!
Eddie Sensation - Damn! This guy is nuts!
The Informer - Wait! GiGante rolls him over, and begins punching Pierro in the face!
Vic Canon - LOOK OUT! OOH!!! Pierro just launched GiGante across the ring! He used his legs for power and sent GiGante flying!
Eddie Sensation - Damn! Thats power!
The Informer - He charges at GiGante.... Clothesline! But GiGante gets right back up... he bounces off the ropes... shoulder block by Pierro! GiGante goes down!
Vic Canon - And now GiGante is rolling to the outside!
Eddie Sensation - Shake those cobwebs loose buddy! You're getting your ass kicked!
The Informer - Quiet Eddie... he might hear you!
Vic Canon - GiGante walks around the ring a few times to catch his breath... and now he slides back into the ring!
Eddie Sensation - Pierro applies a headlock! But GiGante quickly throws him to the ropes!
The Informer - El GiGante swings for a clothesline! No! NO NO!!! LORENZO PIERRO APPLIES "THE KISS OF DEATH" DRAGON SLEEPER!!!! THIS COULD BE IT FOR EL GIGANTE!!!!
Vic Canon - OOOH!!! El GiGante nails Pierro with a low blow! GiGante turns around, and NAILS HIM with a Jumping DDT!
Eddie Sensation - GiGante lifts him back to his feet, and hooks him....
The Informer - Brainbuster! GiGante is making a comeback! He lifts Pierro back up to his feet again... OOOOH!!!! PILEDRIVER!!!!!!! HE NAILED IT!!!!
Vic Canon - And El GiGante goes for the cover! The ref counts... 1...... 2...... No! Pierro just got out in time!
Eddie Sensation - What the hell is GiGante doing now?!
The Informer - Thats the signal for "Total Annihilation" Eddie! GiGante is ready to end this match!
Vic Canon - But Pierro see's it coming, and he rolls out of the ring!
Eddie Sensation - Smart move!
The Informer - I guess.... and now El GiGante is complaining with the referee! He knows he had the match won, and he's pissed off that Pierro just rolled away!
Vic Canon - Well, thats perfectly legal!
Eddie Sensation - I dont think he realizes that.... he's mexican!
The Informer - Wait, look! El GiGante has his back turned, and Lorenzo Pierro is back in the ring! He charges at GiGante....
Vic Canon - No! GiGante turns around, ducks, and grabs Pierro! LOOK OUT!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - ....WHAM!!!!!!!
The Informer - TOTAL ANNIHILATION!!!!! HE NAILED IT!!!!
Vic Canon - The ref counts! 1..... 2....... 3!!!!
Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and therefore moving on to the next round of the EWA North American Title Tournament.... El GiGante!
Eddie Sensation - Damn! That came out of nowhere!
The Informer - You can say that again! El GiGante is very quick, and very skilled! I wouldnt be surprised if he takes the tournament!
Vic Canon - Well, we're going to have to wait until Sunday to find out... Lets move on with the show!
Pre-Match Interview with Madman Madman - I still think this is a bunch of bullshit!
Rachel Stevens - Madman, are you going to at least try to cooperate with your so called arch enemy in a couple of minutes?
Madman - Probably not. I'm still more pissed at being robbed of my night off, to be tagged with hjim, than I am having to just tag with him. I'll steer clear of him. but if he does any kinda shit that's suspicious I'm going to knock the fuck out of him.
[ He walks over to a wall and slams himself against it. ]
Rachel Stevens - Why are you so pumped up about this?
Madman - Look at it like this, whore... Remember when you were a little kid in high school, and you slept with every guy in the grades, and had all the other girls jealous of you for getting the dick that they want because you were so perfect and everything? Well think of this as you being told that you're going to go on a field trip...and all the people in your group are the people you hate, and that hate you. You can't stand them a bit because they think so badly about you, but you wave your ass in their face cause you got what they want...so you think.
Rachel Stevens - Uh... That doesn't make any sense.
Madman - SURE IT DOES!!! YOU JUST DOWNED TOO MANY SCHLONGS AND GOT YOUR BRAIN GLUED OVER WITH SQUIRT!!!! THAT'S WHY IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!!!
Rachel Stevens - Why the hell am I always a whore!? Dammit I am---
Madman - YOU ARE A WHORE!!! AND SO WILL THAT FROG FUCKER CREED IF HE FUCKS UP TONIGHT!!!
Rachel Stevens - You men are just so...
Madman - Shut the hell up and do your job.. Don't burst out your personal comments you slut. Creed, you just remember this... I approach you from the front and in the back a knife I'll leave. Don't stick your ass cheeks out because I won't hesitate to kick it.
Rachel Stevens - Uh...yeah. Over to you Rob.
Madman - Stupid pansy whore....
Pre-Match Interview with Bruce Evans Rob DiMarco - Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time is a new comer and tonight will be his first match on Tuesday Night Heat here in the EWA! Ladies and gentlemen, here is "Bombshell" Bruce Evans! Bruce, I would like to be the first to give you an official welcome to the EWA!
Bruce Evans - Well,it's about damn time somebody welcomed me. I've been here for past a week, and this is the first time. That just goes to show what a bunch of careless human-beings we have here in the EWA!
Rob DiMarco - Ok Bruce... since coming into the EWA, you have spoken about nothing more than how the young talent is held down, because of the "older" guys as you put it being friends with Tom Stone. Something that can easily get you into quick heat from just about any and everyone here in the EWA. Don't you worry about being the odd man in the promotion?
Bruce Evans - First of all, I don't give a damn what you fans out here think about me. Second,what the hell makes you think I would care about being hated, or being the odd man out? If speaking the truth is what makes people not like you, then I just wanna know what this damned world has come to Rob!!!
Rob DiMarco - Now you issued a challenge to any two guys here in the EWA to take on you and Kurt Poser... you two seem to have the same feelings about the politics going on here in the EWA. Kurt accepted to team with you, and tonight on Heat you both step in the ring to face two very tough competitors in Madman and Jonathan Creed!!
Bruce Evans - Tough competitors? I've seen tougher people in a bingo hall than they are. Now, the way I see it... Kurt and I are two strong young starving lions with the same intentions. That being to make it to the top here in the EWA, to prove that we can hold on to the ball and run with it, and score if given the opportuinities. Tonight, it's an opportunity for the both of us, and we're going to take it with a handfull. Kurt and Bruce Evans, tonight we are not only going to so totally humiliate Creed and Madman, but tonight, we're going to make names for ourselves here in the EWA!
Rob DiMarco - Pretty strong comments, can he back them up? Lets find out! Back to you guys!
Tag Team Match
Kurt Poser & Bruce Evans vs. Madman & Jonathan CreedChris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Tag Team Match!
[ "Sanitarium" by Metallica blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'10" and weighing in at 320 pounds, from Detroit, Michigan, Jonathan Creed!
[ Jonathan Creed steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
[ "Born Without A Face" by RATM blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And his partner... standing 6'8" and weighing in at 288 pounds, from Havre de Grace, Maryland, "Madman" Matt Gilman!
[ "Madman" Matt Gilman steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
[ "Internal Primates Forever" by Mudvayne blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And their opponents... First, standing 6'3" and weighing in at 255 pounds, from Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, "Krowned Prince of XXXtreme" Kurt Poser!
[ "Krowned Prince of XXXtreme" Kurt Poser steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
[ "The Way I Am" by Eminem blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - ...standing 5'9" and weighing in at 255 pounds, from Brooklyn, New York, "Bombshell" Bruce Evans!
[ "Bombshell" Bruce Evans steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - And there's the bell! It looks like Kurt Poser is going to start this match against Madman!
Vic Canon - Well, as soon as Creed leaves the ring, we can get started...
Eddie Sensation - Hey, I think Madman and Creed are arguing over who is going to start the match!
The Informer - Creed just shoved Madman!
Vic Canon - Madman shoves him back!
Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT!!
The Informer - OOH!!! MADMAN CLOTHESLINES CREED OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!
Vic Canon - Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a brawl on our hands!
[ Madman and Jonathan Creed brawl to the back... ]
Eddie Sensation - Look! Now Poser is asking for a mic! Lets listen!
Kurt Poser - WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT? This is absolute kife! You send two idiots like that to face us? Madman, Creed, you're two of the biggest disgraces to ever hit the ring. This was our debut match and you clowns can't even bother to show two world class athletes the proper respect we deserve. Know what I think? I think this was your escape clause. Yeah, you two dicks are in cahoots. "Hey, if.... Sorry, when we get down in the match, we should pretend we can't get along and stumble to the back. The idiot fans won't suspect for a second that we couldn't hold a candle to the Krowned Prince of XXXtreme." Madman, Creed, you should trade in your wrestling boots for some cement boots and go pier jumping. Let's get one thing straight here, myself as well as Mr. Evans are here to get the respect that we have proven we deserve in other promotions. Since day one, we've had bookers and commissioners and what not trying to hold us down by putting us in dark matches and house shows. We finally get a little air time on the hottest show in North America, and we get the royal shaft. I am sick to friggin' death of getting fucked over in this promotion. Tom Stone, I personally blame you entirely for this garbage. So do me a favour: You pick two members of Team Ballz and you send them down right now to kick the asses of me and this playa standing behind me. Let's go, we don't have all fucking night.
[ Pauses ]
... [ Pauses ]
... [ Pauses ]
... Kurt Poser - Chandler, Nomad, bring it. Hey, we're rookies right? You should have nothing to worry about. Let's bring it. [Pauses] Just as I thought. From now on, you'll be known only as Team, because you boyz are severely lacking Ballz. Stone, this ain't over. Far from it. I am the Dig Shit of the Future here. You can't hold me down forever. Watch your backs, and that goes for everyone. They could very well end up with canes in them.
The Informer - WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK FANS!!
Backstage... [ We see Moral backstage pacing up and down the hallways. He is mentally preparing for his Dogpound Death Match tonight against Lex Lethal. ]
Moral - Lex Lethal wants to fuck with me, now something bad is bound to happen to him...
[ A door behind Moral suddenly opens and a hand grabs him. He gets pulled into a dark locker room, and the door slams shut. A loud banging noise is heard in the room. And a voice is heard from the room. ]
Voice - Nothing personal Moral, it's the EWA's fault....
[ EWA Security guards come rushing into the locker room after hear the noises from the room. They turn on the lights, but they only find Moral, alone, laying in pain on the floor. ]
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
Pre-Match Interview with Crisqo Rob DiMarco - Ladies and Gentlemen, I am here with Adam Thurgood and Crisqo. In a few moments, Crisqo will be taking on legit competition in the name of "Shadowhawk" Drew Norwood.
Crisqo - Where da damn hell be Rachel Stevens?
Rob DiMarco - Huh?
Crisqo - Ya know dat hot piece uh ass Rachel Stevens?
Rob DiMarco - Yes..
Crisqo - Where da damn hell be she? ah' wants' ha' to tell me where da damn hell she wuz last night. She wuz supposed ta fuck me but dat bitch duzn't put out fo' me. Stupid bitch gits wet around me.
Rob DiMarco - Oooookay.. tonight you are facing Drew Norwood in a Table Match.
Crisqo - Oh yeah, ah' am fightin' Fagula in some tables match. ah' duzn't know why it's some table match. Maybe Fagula and his gotsh buddies likes doin' it doggie style ta each oda' on tables. I've practiced mah' tablewo'k on DiMarco's sister.
Rob DiMarco - I don't have a sister.
Crisqo - Afta' whut ah' dun did t'yo' mom, youse gonna gots' some sista' sucka'.
Rob DiMarco - What about your match?
Crisqo - Weeeel DiMarco, Nowood be anoda' G.I. Joe. He served in Desert Sto'em protectin' all Americans fum de rise uh Saddam. Nowood duzn't know dat he gots'ta some syndrome now. Crisqo Gulf Syndrome gots'ta make ya' hurt. You's ainthin' but some jackass dat fought da damn fight fo' de White Man. What wuz ya' fightin' fo' in Iraq and Bosnia? Nodin'. You's wuz fightin' fo' some Jackasses. I'm gonna pick ya' off biotch.
Rob DiMarco - What about Norwood's stuff on the last Heat?
Crisqo - What about it? No'wood be tryin' t'act all scary and shit. He's not scary. Slap mah fro! becuz' ah' ain't scared by No'wood and his Sheryl Crow deme song. No'wood should be scared uh losin' dis match cuz' he gots'ta lose it. No'wood gots'ta neva' put me dough some table and if he duz den he be a faggot Green Beret.
Rob DiMarco - Any plans for the match tonight?
Crisqo - I plan t'put his ass dough some table cuz' I's gots'ta be de Human Sex Machine. Ah' am gonna Crisqo-ize dat moderfucker.
Rob DiMarco - Back to you guys at ringside!
Table Match
"Shadowhawk" Drew Norwood vs. CrisqoChris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Table Match!
[ "Me So Horny" by 2 Live Crew blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'1" and weighing in at 555 pounds, from Baltimore, MD, Crisqo!
[ Crisqo steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
[ "There Goes the Neighborhood" by Sheryl Crow blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'7" and weighing in at 271 pounds, from Grey Eagle, Minnesota, "Shadowhawk" Drew Norwood!
[ "Shadowhawk" Drew Norwood steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - Well, last week Crisqo talked some trash about Norwood... and Norwood isn't going to take ANY shit from ANYONE! Especially not right now!
Vic Canon - I cant wait to see what happens in this match.... and keep in mind, Crisqo is 555 pounds! How the hell is Norwood going to put him through a table?!
Eddie Sensation - We're about to find out! There's the bell!
The Informer - And they circle... OOH! Norwood nails Crisqo with a quick kick, right to the leg!
Vic Canon - But it looks like Crisqo didnt feel a thing!
Eddie Sensation - OOH! Norwood with another kick!
The Informer - And once again, Crisqo didnt feel a thing!
Vic Canon - WHAM! OOOH BOY! NORWOOD NAILED HIM WITH THAT ONE!
Eddie Sensation - AND NOW LOOK! HAHAHA!!! CRISQO IS CHASING HIM AROUND!!!
The Informer - Norwood stops infront of the ropes, and Crisqo charges at him! Norwood leans over, and sends Crisqo flying over the top rope! Great move! Norwood used his mominimum (in english, momentum) against him!
Vic Canon - But look! Crisqo's arm got stuck in the top rope! He's tied up! He cant move!
Eddie Sensation - Thurgood is running over to help him... but Norwood didnt see him! Norwood is on the other side of the ring, grabbing tables from under the ring!
The Informer - DAMN! Norwood has SIX TABLES in the ring! And now he's setting them up!
Vic Canon - And Crisqo is free! Adam Thurgood got him out of the ropes! But Crisqo has no feeling in his arm... he's trying to slap some life back into it!
Eddie Sensation - Look at Norwood! He's a machine! He has 5 tables set up.... and there's #6! SIX tables set up in the ring!
The Informer - Crisqo is back into the ring! Wait... no he's not.... he tried to roll under the bottom rope, but that didnt work.....
Vic Canon - HAHAHAHA!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - HA! LOOK! THURGOOD IS TRYING TO PUSH HIM UNDER!!!! HAHAHA!!!!
The Informer - Norwood is there, kicking at the beached whale! I mean, Crisqo!
Vic Canon - Crisqo is taking some stiff kicks to his back! Norwood is going nuts on him!
Eddie Sensation - Like Informer said, he's one pissed off soldier! He's crazy!
The Informer - Crisqo finally free's himself, and gets into the ring. Crisqo struggles to get to his feet, but soon does so.... He charges at Norwood, but Drew Norwood slides under him, between his flabby legs!
Vic Canon - Norwood gets to his feet... Crisqo turns around... OOH! Norwood kicks him straight in the nuts!
Eddie Sensation - HA!!! When you're in trouble, go for the sac! It always works!
The Informer - And now Norwood is moving all the tables to right behind Crisqo! Now where's he going?!
Vic Canon - Drew Norwood is now climbing to the top rope! He's perched up there... and Crisqo finally notices!
Eddie Sensation - HE JUMPS! LOOK OUT!!!!
The Informer - OOOOH!!!!!! NORWOOD NAILED THE BIRD'S EYE VIEW, AND CRISQO FLEW BACKWARDS THROUGH 4 OF THE 6 TABLES!!! THIS MATCH IS OVER!!!!
Chris Myers - And the winner of this match, "Shadowhawk" Drew Norwood!
Vic Canon - Damn! Crisqo got his ass kicked!
Eddie Sensation - I guess that fat ass of his won't be doing him any good in the EWA!
Backstage... [ GeniPher is shown walking around backstage once again, then Ethan Tyler slowly creeps upon her. ]
Vic Canon - My god, Tyler is going to assault the love of Cody's life!
Eddie Sensation - That's former love Vic, but she needs to turn around!
[ Tyler spins her around and she lets out a shriek of surprise, Ethan greets her with a warm smile. ]
GeniPher - Ethan, you scared me, but I'm glad to see you, maybe you can help me out.....
Vic Canon - What is she doing!? How can she trust Ethan Tyler?
The Informer - Vic, she hasn't followed wrestling since her and Cody fell apart.... She has no idea what Ethan has become.
GeniPher - I got this letter that invited me here tonight, but no one signed it.... Any idea who it's from?
[ Ethan cracks a spry smile like a young school boy and looks away from her. ]
Ethan Tyler - I uh.... sent it to you... Look, I know all about what happened with you and Cody, and I wanted to help you with it......
GeniPher - I dunno if I want to talk about it....
[ She sits on a bench and looks visibly upset. ]
Ethan Tyler - Come on, talk to me. I'm all ears.
GeniPher - He just changed so fast you know.... Ever since the whole Divine thing, he went to the worst..... I know after that match he took time off to try to patch things up, but it left me thinking...... Would he have done that if he won?
Ethan Tyler - I think deep down in your heart you know the answer.
Vic Canon - Perhaps Ethan does have a heart after all guys....
Ethan Tyler - There's no way he would have taken time off.
Vic Canon - I hate him.......
Ethan Tyler - Cody is very driven, he's a career man, not a lover..... He failed to see such a wonderful flower in his life and he traded that flower for this hell hole business. I think he's a mad man for it.
[ GeniPher starts to cry and Ethan pulls her tight to him. ]
Ethan Tyler - But don't let that piece of garbage get you down. You are one of the most beautiful young women I've ever met in my life, you could have any man wrapped around your finger that you want. They're all at your plate.
[ GeniPher gives a sad smile. ]
GeniPher - Thank you.....
Ethan Tyler - No, I mean every word I say.....
[ He pulls her close to him and kisses her, she doesn't kiss back, but Cody Covington walks in to see the two together. She pulls away from him. ]
GeniPher - Cody! This is not what it looks like!
Cody Covington - Want to tell me what this is then?
[ Just as GeniPher is walking towards Cody, Ethan grabs a pipe from under the bench and he charges Cody and cracks him in the head. ]
Vic Canon - HE SET THEM UP! THAT SICK SON OF A -
Eddie Sensation - Ethan Tyler hammered Covington with that lead pipe! Cody is out and GeniPher looks on in horror! Tyler is assaulting Covington with that pipe!
The Informer - Tyler has handcuffs now! He's cuffing Cody and kicking him! The man is unconcious! This is sick!
[ Tyler grabs Covington's bloody hair and gets inches from his face. ]
Ethan Tyler - You want to bring your personal life into the ring? Let me help you do it. See you next week family man.
[ Tyler drops Cody's head onto the ground and points the pipe at GeniPher. ]
Ethan Tyler - Maybe you should brush up on your wrestling current events.
[ Tyler walks away and GeniPher runs to Cody and holds him, screaming for medical help. ]
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
The Informer - During the commercial break, Cody was taken away in an ambulance, I have no idea what his condition is, but I can tell you he won't be able to make it to the tag match tonight... Brink will have his hands full.Vic Canon - Did I tell you I hate Ethan Tyler?
The Informer - Yes Vic, we know that. Let's focus on some more EWA wrestling right now.
Backstage... [ In front of Michaels locker room are three men, MMG, Jumping Jimmy Swanson, and GI Bro. The newest members of the Don Michaels Fan Club. All of them are counting a stack of hundred dollar bills as thin as sandwiches. DiMarco decides to wait a while before he makes his pressence known. His patients pays off as the job squad leaves, and Jeanine Trujillo storms out of Michaels locker room. Moments later Michaels sprints out after her, and grabs one of her arms. ]
Don Michaels - Where are you going?
Jeanine Trujillo - Don, don't do this.
Don Michaels - Do what???!
Jeanine Trujillo - Don't play dumb with me, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
Don Michaels - But this is all for you Jeanine, I've got to teach that imitation superstar that he can't touch you and get away with it.
Jeanine Trujillo - Really?
[ Jeanine yanks away from Micahels grasp. ]
Jeanine Trujillo - If it was about me you would done this months ago. But It's not about me, it's about you. It's always about you!
Don Michaels - Damn, I never could lie to you, you're right one hundred percent right. It's not about you it's about me, and it's about how that punk Lorenzo Hayes tried to use what I taught him against me. It's about that peon, trying to steal my spotlight. But he'll learn tonight that the great script called the EWA, is one that his character isn't in. I'll show him that bag-boys can't read the lines of the top biller.
[ Jeanine continues to glare at Don Michaels. ]
Jeanine Trujillo - I'm asking you, please, Hayes and Hamric kidnapped me, but they never harmed me, so do whatever you want to Hayes but leave....
[ Just then Jeanine realizes that Rob DiMarco is in standing behind her. She looks at Michaels, her eyes pleading......but Michaels says nothing to her, his face is a cold and calculating mask of the hatred he feel for Lorenzo Hayes. Jeanine walks away from The $uperstar Don Michaels, and out of camera view. ]
Pre-Match Interview with Don Michaels & The Paparazzi Don Michaels - So Rob DiMarco, are you here for an interview or are you here to spy on me?
Rob DiMarco - No offense meant Don, I just thought that the fans deserved.....
Don Michaels - The fans of the EWA deserve NOTHING! They'll get whatever I choose to give them. If I decided to grace them with another five star performance like last week's handicapped match massacre, then fine I'll give them one. But tonight, I feel the fans deserve another type of performance. Tonight I'm going to give them a tragedy.
Rob DiMarco - A tragedy? What could you possibly mean by that?
Don Michaels - Watch and see Rob DiMarco, watch and see. But I've teased the fans enough for today, now it's time for our match with Hayes.
Rob DiMarco - Our match with Hayes? Don't you mean The Paparazzi?
Don Michaels - Hehehe, slip of the tongue.
Rob DiMarco - Do you think they are ready to step into the ring?
Don Michaels - Well my Paparazzi here are more than ready for the challenge of Lorenzo Hayes. Each man here is more than just a photographer, in fact, each man here is a finely tuned killing machine, with hours of training under the tutelage of the greatest wrestler of all time: The $uperstar Don Michaels in fact
Rob DiMarco - Lorenzo Hayes has demolished The Paparazzi single handedly on several different occasions, why do you think tonight will be different from any other night?
Don Michaels - Everyone knows that I'm stronger than Hayes, sexier than Hayes, speedier than Hayes, smarter than Hayes, I'm superior to Hayes in every conceivable way. So put simply these men have been around me for a long time, and surely some of my abilities, some of my greatness has rubbed off on them.
Rob DiMarco - [Saracstically] Sure.
Don Michaels - Don't be surly peon, now shut up DiMarco, you're about to be introduced to the toughest lackeys in the EWA. Out walks Paparazzi number one, at 6'3 and two hundred and twenty pound, he's a lean mean fighting machine, of Japanese descent.
[ Paparazzi One demonstrates his abilities with round-house, hook, and axe kicks. All of them don with the speed and precision of a master. ]
Don Michaels - This is my right hand lackey, my personal assasain. Whenever I decide that someone has to be dealt with, I send him in. And I've never been disappointed in his work. In fact when tonight is done with DiMarco you might be impressed with him as well. I know Toto surely will be.
Rob DiMarco - Impressed, what the heck does that mean? You wouldn't be planning on...
Don Michaels - All that I meant was what I said. Impressed. That's all. Next up are my muscle. Both six foot six, both two hundred and eighty pounds. Whenever there's someone that needs to be persuaded, or there's an obstacle that needs to be moves, or someone that needs to be set up, I call out these guys. Numbers two and three, identical twin brothers who kick some major butt, and they do it in stereo.
[ Two large black men walk out, each glares into the camera. The symmetry is frightening, the same cold hard stare, the same awesome build. ]
Don Michaels - Finally there's my personal body guard. The English are known for a lot of things: tea, crumpets, rugby, Big Ben Well this man is like all of them rolled into one. Finesse, and force in one incredibly durable package.
[ Paparazzi Number four steps out into the hallway, he's a heavy set man at six five, and three hundred and fifty pounds. His jaw is strong and wide, as are his shoulders. ]
Don Michaels - Let me demonstrate how tough he is.
[ Michaels steps away from Number Four, measures him, and unleashes his $uperkick against Number Four's jaw. The impact is shattering. A normal man might not even survive such a blow. But Number Four does. ]
Don Michaels - See, he didn't even fall. He may be out cold, but he's still on his feet.
[ The camera zooms in on Number Four's face. His eyes are rolled into the back of his head, but he's still standing. ]
Don Michaels - Don't worry DiMarco, he'll be okay in a few minutes. So there you have it, the most awesome foursome in wrestling today and the mind of Don Michaels to put it together. Hayes doesn't stand a chance.
Rob DiMarco - But what about Jeanine?
Don Michaels - Don't even go there, she'll be at ringside, she knows where her loyalties lie. Now get out of here DiMarco, we have a massacre to attend.
Pre-Match Interview with Lorenzo Hayes [ The scene opens up to find Rachel Stevens standing next to Lorenzo Hayes. ]
Rachel Stevens - Hello Lorenzo, unfortunately I got the job of having to interview you, so would you be able to answer some of my questions?
Lorenzo Hayes - First admit to being a lesbian then I will answer all the questions you want to ask me.
Rachel Stevens - Go walk in front of traffic!
Lorenzo Hayes - Well in that case this is interview is over!
Rachel Stevens - Seriously Lorenzo, grow up! And answer some of my questions; if I don't get a few words from you, I could get in some serious trouble!
Lorenzo Hayes - So then what's the point of me answering your questions?
Rachel Stevens - Please Lorenzo!
Lorenzo Hayes - Ok, but on these conditions you call me "greatness" throughout this whole interview and you admit to having a crush on me!
Rachel Stevens - How could I have a crush on you? I thought you said I was a lesbian?
Lorenzo Hayes - Hey you can still like me and be a lesbian, if you'd like you could invite one of your lady friends over to my pad and we could have a manage a trios!
Rachel Stevens - Maybe Lorenzo!
Lorenzo Hayes - Did you just call me Lorenzo?
Rachel Stevens - Sorry I meant to say "greatness"
Lorenzo Hayes - That's better!
Rachel Stevens - Now if it's ok with you "greatness" I'd like to get on with the interview!
Lorenzo Hayes - Well then do so!
Rachel Stevens - OK, so tonight you take on Don Michael's so called lackey's "The Paparazzi" if you beat them they will have to leave the EWA immediately, how important is this match to you?
Lorenzo Hayes - It's very important! Week in week out, Don Michaels throws his protection in my way so that I cannot get to him, and trust me it's really starting to piss me off! I want Don Michaels one on one and with The paparazzi around there's not a big chance of that happening, so tonight I am going to do whatever it takes to take them loser's out of the EWA!
Rachel Stevens - "Greatness" what is your reason for bring Dominique Toto to the ring?
Lorenzo Hayes - Moral support, and I want her to get a close up view of Lorenzo Hayes dishing out an explosive ass kicking.
Rachel Stevens - And you're not worried for her safety?
Lorenzo Hayes - Not at all, she has nothing to worry about cause if anybody goes near her they will have to put up with me, and trust me nobody wants to do that!
Rachel Stevens - Do you think Don Michaels will play a role in this match?
Lorenzo Hayes - He will "try" and play a role in this match, but he knows just as much as I know that if he plays too much of a role in this match he will be in store for ShowTime! And trust me after he felt that last week I'm sure he doesn't want to this week!
Rachel Stevens - Well thank you "Greatness" for this interview. And give me a call if you really want to do that Ménage a trois! Dominique is nothing compared to me!
Lorenzo Hayes - Kinky!
Handicap Match
Lorenzo Hayes vs. The PaparazziChris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Handicap Match!
[ "Whats the Difference" By Eminem and Dr. Dre blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'3" and weighing in at 267 pounds, from Palm Springs, California, "Mr. Ratings" Lorenzo Hayes!
[ "Mr. Ratings" Lorenzo Hayes steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
[ "My Way" by Frank Sinatra blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And his opponents... accompanied to the ring by "The $uperstar" Don Michaels... The Paparazzi!
[ "The $uperstar" Don Michaels and The Paparazzi step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring. ]
The Informer - Damn! 4 on 1?! This is going to be tough...
Vic Canon - Especially since those damn Paparazzi are so HUGE.... and because Michaels is at ringside!
Eddie Sensation - HA! Look! The Paparazzi are surrounding the ring! Hayes is a dead man!
The Informer - And there's the bell! Paparazzi #1 gets into the ring... he charges at Hayes! LOOK OUT! BACK BODY DROP, AND PAPARAZZI #1 GOES OVER THE TOP ROPE!
Vic Canon - Paparazzi #2 and #3 are now in the ring, and they double clothesline Hayes! Hayes gets up, and bounces off the ropes! Another double clothesline is missed by #2 and #3... Hayes turns around.... WHAM! DOUBLE DDT ON PAPARAZZI NUMBER 2 AND 3!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - Here comes Paparazzi #4!
The Informer - Hayes kicks him in the gut! LOOK OUT!!! SHOWTIME!!! SHOWTIME!!! SHOWTIME!!! HAYES NAILED IT!!!
Vic Canon - But here comes Paparazzi number 1, 2 and 3 to save the pin! Hayes see's them coming, and he gets up! Dropkick on Paparazzi #2! Drop Toe hold on #3! But Paparazzi #1 nailes Hayes from behind! Paparazzi #1 scoops up Hayes.... No! Hayes slides down his back, and NAILS HIM with a reverse DDT!
Eddie Sensation - DAMN! Hayes is taking on 4 men at once!
The Informer - Lorenzo Hayes bounces off the ropes.... NO! OH NO! Don Michaels tripped him, and pulled him to the outside! LOOK OUT!! THE AUTOGRAPH!!!! DON MICHAELS NAILED IT, RIGHT ONTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR!
Vic Canon - That BASTARD! And now he's throwing Hayes back into the ring!
Eddie Sensation - Hayes is out cold! He's going to get beat by The Paparazzi!!!
The Informer - Paparazzi #1 goes for the cover... the ref counts.... 1...... 2...... 3!!!
Chris Myers - And the winners of this match, The Paparazzi!
Vic Canon - Damn! Hayes was doing a great job of taking on all 4 Paparazzi by HIMSELF! Too bad Michaels ruined the damn match...
Eddie Sensation - And now look! Michaels is handcuffing Hayes to the ropes!
The Informer - Oh god, please no!
Don Michaels - Look at me Hayes, look at me.
[ Michaels turns Hayes' face around with a vicious backhand. ]
Don Michaels - I said look at me. Now I'm going to ask you a few questions, and you're going to answer them honestly. That's right Hayes, I want honest answers! Forget about that fact that the woman you hold most dear is in the hands of The Paparazzi. Forget about the fact that you hate my guts. Forget about the fact that millions and millions of loyal EWA fans are watching this scene unfold. The only thing I want to matter is what you feel. So tell me Hayes. Who is the $tallion of Showbiz?
[ Silence ]
[ Michaels glares at Hayes, as if his ]
Don Michaels - Who is the True King Of Glitz and Glamour.
[ Silence ]
Don Michaels - And finally, who is The $uperstar's number one fan?
[ Silence ]
Don Michaels - Answer me Hayes!
[ Silence ]
Don Michaels - I SAID ANSWER ME!!!!
Lorenzo Hayes - Damn you Don, go to hell!
Don Michaels - Did all of you fans out there hear what he said? He said DON!!!
[ Michaels begins to laugh and a chorus of boo's echoes throughout the arena. ]
Don Michaels - Good, good, now I hope everyonu at home has witnessed this moment. Now I only have one more question for you Hayes. Does this entire scenario seem familiar to you? You know, the so called $tallion of $howbiz is all tied up and helpless, Dominique Toto is at my mercy. It kind of reminds me of Breakdown! Does it remind you of Breakdown? It should, but then again I've outsmarted you every week, every day, every hour, and every minute since I've been on the EWA roster so every event should remind you of Breakdown!
[ Michaels turns his attention to Dominique Hayes. ]
Don Michaels - Speaking of Breakdown, I told you something at Breakdown Dominique. I told you: "I would never harm a hair on your pretty little head", because above all things I'm a gentleman.
[ Toto nods nervously, and begins to stammer. ]
Domonique Toto - Yes, you did.
Don Michaels - Unfortunately for you however while I am a gentleman, I don't employ gentleman.
[ Michaels snaps his fingers and The Paparazzi spring into action. Numbers two and three push Toto to the floor, and pull her legs wide open. Toto, now spread-eagled, looks up in terror as Paparazzi number one ascends to the top rope. Lorenzo Hayes can only watch in muted agony as Paparazzi Number, violates his fiancee with a diving headbutt into her crotch. Instinctively Toto tries to curl into a ball, but she's not even allowed this feeble defense as Paparazzi two and three place a foot on each shoulder. ]
Don Michaels - Normally a diving head-butt to the delicate reproductive system, would take any normal woman out of commission, but this isn't just a normal woman, this is Dominique Toto. And as every other wrestler in this federation knows, Dominique is a woman legendary for her locker-room antics just ask Rocky Blonde, WarCryme, hell even Eddie Sensation can tell you a tale or two about Dominique's stamina
[ Michaels laughs in Hayes' face, as The Paparazzi pose and posture over the helpless Dominique Toto. ]
Don Michaels - To be blunt Hayes, Dominique is a cross between a door-knob and an energizer battery, everyone gets a turn, all, night, long! So I'm going to issue the Domonique Toto challenge: if there's anyone back there in the locker-room who thinks he has what it takes to put Domonique Toto out of commission, come on down to the ring.
[ As Michaels finishes his sentence the EWA Job Squad: GI Bro, Jumpin Jimmy Swanson, and MMG. All three men wear $uperstar T-Shirts, and cheap plastic copies of Don Michaels one of a kind platinum sunglasses. One by one they each ascend the tope rope, and drive themselves further and further until Toto doesn't even move, tears stream down her now crimson cheeks. Her chest heaves under the strain of her own sobbing, but she doesn't move. Hayes collapses into a frustrated, helpless heap. ]
Don Michaels - Now Hayes, when the EMT's dig Toto out of this dumpster, and cart her off to whatever second rate hospital is closest to this third rate arena, in this God forsaken fourth rate town.
[ Michaels waits for the jeers from the audience, and as expected they come. ]
Don Michaels - Just remember one thing. You did this to her Hayes. You're arrogance, you're overconfidence, and your ignorance.
[ Michaels stands over Toto, and signs his name on her forehead. Paparazzi numbers two and three then pick her up from the mat, carry her across the ring, and then unceremoniously dump her into: The Don Michaels Fan Club. EMT's and officials flood the ringside area in an attempt to rescue Toto from the dumpster, but the savage kicks of Paparazzi number one, and the sheer brute strength of Paparazzi Two and Three keep Toto's would be saviors at bay. Long enough for Paparazzi Number Four to snap a Polaroid of Dominique Toto and one of Lorenzo Hayes. Moments Michaels and company walk back to their locker-rooms, basking in the raw hatred of the EWA fans. Finally the humiliation has come to a stop. ]
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
Eddie Sensation - Look at Lorenzo Hayes! He is looking over Dominique Toto, look how worried he looks for the safety of his soon to be wife![ Lorenzo begins screaming to the back for help. Paramedics rush out! ]
Vic Canon - I've never seen Lorenzo Hayes so emotionally frustrated!
The Informer - And look at this he has a mic in his hand! I can't wait to see what he has to say!
Lorenzo Hayes - Don Michaels you just signed your death wish! What you did to this poor, beautiful, innocent woman tonight was the biggest mistake of your life!
Eddie Sensation - And he means every word of what he is saying!
Lorenzo Hayes - For the last three months you have drove me to the line of insanity, you've frustrated me time and time again, but tonight you made me cross the line, and at Rival Schools when I finally get to have you one on one, I am going to tear you apart and show you why I am the new $uperstar!
Vic Canon - Well it looks like the career of Don Michaels will come to an end at Rival Schools!
Lorenzo Hayes - Week in and week out you have made me look like a rookie but this Sunday I become the teacher! For the first time we are going to square of in the middle of the ring and find out who is the better man, and trust me each and every person knows that I AM THE BETTER MAN! All I have to do is get the 1-2-3 and it will only take one thing to get that!
The Informer - What's the thing?
Lorenzo Hayes - DON MICHAELS THIS SUNDAY AT RIVAL SCHOOLS YOU ARE GOING TO FEEL SHOWTIME LIKE NEVER BEFORE!
[ As Lorenzo drops the mic, he goes and checks on his injured wife. ]
The Informer - Let's go to some pre-recorded footage of Serial Thrylla and Ethan Tyler after last week's Heat.
Last week after Heat... [ Scene opens up inside a hospital, Serial Thrylla is sitting on a table with his knee heavily taped up and iced down. Ethan Tyler is sitting in the corner wringing his stocking cap in his hands, looking rather angry ]
Serial Thrylla - Accidents Happen E... How else do you explain people like The New Resistance???
Ethan Tyler - I don't let accidents happen, I make mistakes.
Serial Thrylla - Hey, you're just following in the footsteps of TBL, E... I made it through that and I gurantee I'll make it through this fiasco.
Ethan Tyler - But just think, what if I cracked down a little harder, you might not be able to walk again... Dude, I'm sorry that shit happened, anything I can do to make up for it I will.
Serial Thrylla - Swing a little higher next time and hit the right target.. I didn't offer you the spot on Team Ballz because I thought you'd screw up, so don't worry. This is a minor set back and we all have minor set back. Fa getta bout it.
Ethan Tyler - It's all that damn New Resistance's fault..... Next week we'll hit em hard. You sure you'll be fine by then?
Serial Thrylla - E, don't worry about me, watch your own back. Team Ballz doesn't need to be carrying one of it's own into battle.. We all need to be walking side by side, together.
Ethan Tyler - Aight man, you gonna be o.k. here if I split?
Serial Thrylla - Yeah, get the hell out of here. I'll talk to you later.
Ethan Tyler - Aight, take it easy man, stay off the leg, see you next week.
[ Tyler leaves as Thrylla watches the door close, he shakes his head in disgust ]
Serial Thrylla - Next time I want a job done right... I'll do it myself and maybe then I won't lose to Anton Fucking Bailey.
Pre-Match Interview with Tiki Tortez [ The scene fades in to the locker rooms. The camera pans around and takes an abrupt stop at one of the doors. On the door reads "Tiki Tortez...EWA Extreme Champion". Rachel Stevens steps into view and knocks on the door. She has a grimaced look on her face as she remembers what happened last week when she interviewed Tiki Tortez. After a few seconds she knocks again and a voice is heard... ]
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez's Voice - Who is it?
Rachel Stevens - It's Rachel Stevens...I am here to interview you for your match tonight.
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez's Voice - Go away!
Rachel Stevens - [Frustrated] I'm not playing games Tiki, all I have to do is a short little interview.
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez's Voice - And I don't give a damn, go away.
Rachel Stevens - Mr. Tortez!
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez's Voice - Holy sh...GO AWAY!
Rachel Stevens - NO...you listen to me. I am going to get this interview done and you are going to like it. Now you get your smelly ass out here so we can get this started. Do you understand me!!!
[ Pause ]
Rachel Stevens - ....
[ The door slides open as a half dressed Tiki Tortez steps into view. ]
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - What the hell is your problem today?
Rachel Stevens - I told you, I need to get this interview!
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Fine, hurry up though, I don't have time for one of those long ass interviews. You know, the ones that YOU DO!
Rachel Stevens - [Shakes her head] Ok, the first question is what is your motivation for tonight?
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - My motivation? That is quite simple...I want a match. And if anyone has the guts to accept, then so be it, they deserve an ass-whooping.
Rachel Stevens - Oh really?
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Yes.
Rachel Stevens - Ok, my next question is...who do you WANT to accept this match?
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - I don't care.
Rachel Stevens - There has to be someone.
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Well, I don't really care.
Rachel Stevens - Can't you name one person?
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Nope
Rachel Stevens - [Frustrated] Damn you are stubborn.
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - You bet.
Rachel Stevens - I am out of here.
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Ok, see ya.
Rachel Stevens - No wait, I have one more question for you. I'm not leaving after only two damn questions. That is un-reporterlike of me!
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - "un-reporterlike"? Is that even a word?
Rachel Stevens - Yes...now my question is very simple...
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Are you sure it's a word?
Rachel Stevens - Yes!
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - How sure?
Rachel Stevens - VERY SURE?
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Now...you're positive right?
Rachel Stevens - That's IT! I can't take this anymore. I am no longer interviewing you. You are a slimy little twit who doesn't ever deserve to be interviewed. I hope someone shoots you in your eye!
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Ok...bye
Rachel Stevens - [In anger] Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
[ Tiki smiles as Rachel throws her microphone on the ground. She stomps away in anger as Tiki shuts the door behind him. ]
Open Challenge
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez vs. ???[ The screen fades in to the EWA seating area. The fans are viewed supporting their favorite wrestler, many of them chatting loudly. Suddenly, the lights begin to fade to black. The murmurs from the crowd begin to fade away when suddenly the jumbo-tron lightens up... ]
..::3::.. ..::2::.. ..::1::.. ..::0::.. .......::beep::....... BOOM [ The camera then pans over to the entrance area where a figure steps out. "Break Out" by Foo Fighters begins to play. The fans give a loud array of boos as they recognize this theme. It is the famous tune of "Tricky" Tiki Tortez. As the fans continue to boo as the words of Rage Against the Machine begin to play. ]
#It had to start somewhere# [ Tiki continues to walk down the aisle with a smirk on his face. ]
#It had to start somehow# [ He cradles the microphone in his hand as he stands in front of the ring. ]
#What better place than here# [ Tortez steps into the ring and smiles at the crowd. ]
#What better time than now# [ His face grimaces as he as he sings along with the final tune. ]
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - All Hell can't stop us Now!!!!!!!
[ The crowd gives another loud array of boos as Tiki begins to speak. ]
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Oh you bet I'm here folks...and there's no stopping us now. Society X has entered the new era of the EWA at just the right time. It is quite simple because we ARE the new era! The EWA needs some guys to take charge. What better people can you get than the original leaders themselves...Society X.
[ Crowd boos ]
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - What...you think we don't have the potential needed to succeed in this business? We have all we need and a bag of pork reins. We are the reason the EWA has been standing for so long. Sure, even when Society X wasn't a part of the EWA, they stayed alive waiting for someone like us to step up. SO, in reality, the EWA was waiting for someone like us, and finally got it.
[ The crowd continues to boo as Tiki walks around the ring. He looks up at the ceiling and continues. ]
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - No really...did you expect us to suck? I mean, we are like the EWA's saviors. If we weren't here, right now you would be listening to guys like Divine, Gigante, and those stuttering idiots blabber on about how the world is all wrong and shit. But me on the other hand, I know the world is fu[bleep]ed up, so I don't go on and on about how it is. I just come out here and say what needs to be said!
[ Pause ]
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - You have guys like Divine come out here...[mockingly] "Hi I'm Divine, I'm queer, but unlike the other faggots, I have to express my feelings 24/7. I don't have self-control at all. I am just a bumbling fag".
[ No response from the crowd ]
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - And then you have people like El Gigante coming out and acting all Mexican and shit. Oh, like we haven't seen enough of that...[mockingly]..."Hey esa....what's up with you meng". Now, I don't mind the occasional Mexican slang, but hell, enough is enough. After about 4 or 5 phrases you become a little...[whispers] dumb.
[ Still no reaction from the crowd...they don't know whether to cheer or boo. ]
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - And next we come to the "NEW" Resistance. What happened to the old one? Did it shrivel up and die? The world has enough resistance, we don't need a bunch of flaming morons coming into the EWA and trying to actually leave a dent when in reality they are just wasting our time. Thorn is nothing but a thorn in my ass. Brink is on the brink of friggen losing it. C4 is gonna blow up in his face. Virulent and Bailey are just a couple of fags who decided to follow the so called bandwagon. Those 5 guys have as bright a future as Vanilla Ice. They just better hope they don't step into the ring with a real man such as myself.
[ Another long pause ]
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - And finally, I come to Team Ballz. These two are the so-called leaders of the EWA revolution. Hell, they couldn't lead a pack of dogs to a bowl of dog food. I can't see these two keeping themselves under control, let alone the EWA. If Tom Stone allows these two people to just run their mouths, then that sickens me. I am a man of stature, and I should be the one in charge. Damn Thrylla...Damn Chandler...Damn Stone and Team Ballz. I am here and I am taking charge, whether they like it or not...hell, I am the future of the EWA, I might as well begin tonight.
[ Pause ]
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - And that is why tonight I am issuing an open challenge to anyone who has the gall to face me. Yes, enough with even the slightest amount of guts has the opportunity to win the Extreme Title. So, whoever you are...I am waiting for you...
[ The lights suddenly begin to flicker on and off. Seconds later "Just a Gigolo" by David Lee Roth begins to play. The fans give a mixed reaction as Nuno Nitrowalawitz comes down the aisle with his many women. He steps up to the side of the ring and begins to speak. ]
Nuno Nitrowalawitz - [smiling] I accept!
[ Tiki stares awkwardly at Nuno ]
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Who the hell are you?
Nuno Nitrowalawitz - The next EWA Extreme Champion!
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Oh really?
Nuno Nitrowalawitz - Yes!
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Then Prove it!
Nuno Nitrowalawitz - Don't mind if I do...
[ Nuno throws the mic down and begins to enter the ring. ]
The Informer - There's the bell, and damn! Nuno Nitrowalawitz is back?!
Vic Canon - We havent seen him in WEEKS!
Eddie Sensation - Well, he's still the same old Nuno! He sucks ass! Tiki just nailed him with a Kamikazee Jaw Breaker!
The Informer - WHAT THE HELL?!?! YOU KNEW THE NAME OF THAT?!
Vic Canon - Haha! Tiki picks up Nuno, and throws him to the ropes! Dropkick by Tiki... but Nuno gets back up! Clothesline by Tiki!...but Nuno gets back up! ....OOOH!! SPINEBUSTER BY THE EXTREME CHAMP, TIKI TORTEZ!!!
Eddie Sensation - Nuno's gonna stay down after that one!
The Informer - Tiki Tortez is now lifting Nuno to his feet.... he hooks him, Swinging Neckbreaker!! Perfectly executed move by Tiki Tortez!
Vic Canon - And now Tiki goes to the outside! He looks under the ring, and pulls out a table! He throws the table into the ring, along with two steel chairs!
Eddie Sensation - Tiki slides back into the ring..... and Nuno is back to his feet! Tiki kicks him in the gut... OOOOH!!! PILEDRIVER ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR!!!!
The Informer - Damn! That'll keep Nuno down for a while. Tiki is now setting up the table, along the side of the ring, parallel to the ropes! Tiki lifts Nuno to his feet, and leaves him stumbling around on his feet! Tiki backs off a bit.... WHAM! Horseshoe Drop Kick!!! And Nuno lands on the table, laying down on it!
Vic Canon - Perfect setup! Tiki is now climbing to the top rope! He's standing up there, balancing himself...
Eddie Sensation - He jumps!
The Informer - BIG SPLASH! NO!!! NO!!!! NUNO MOVED, AND TIKI WENT THROUGH THE TABLE!!!
Vic Canon - And that just brought this match back to where it started! But Nuno is still down!
Eddie Sensation - What do you expect?! He's been getting his beats for the entire match!
The Informer - Nuno is starting to get up, but very slowly!
Vic Canon - Nuno sits up, and checks if his back, jaw, and chest are still in place! And now Nuno is getting to his feet!
Eddie Sensation - But so is Tiki! Look, he's sitting up too!
The Informer - Wait a minute... look over there! Here comes Divine, with a steel chair!
Vic Canon - He's obviously coming for Tiki! Divine slides to the ring, and now both Nuno and Tiki Tortez are on their feet!
Eddie Sensation - Divine swings! WHAM!!!
The Informer - WHAT THE HELL?! DIVINE JUST NAILED NUNO WITH THE CHAIR!!! AND TIKI IS SMILING!!!
Vic Canon - WHAM!!!! HAHA!!!! NOW Divine nailed Tiki Tortez!
Eddie Sensation - And look at how they landed! Tiki is on top of Nuno!
The Informer - The ref counts! ....1...... 2...... 3!!!
Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and STILL EWA Extreme Champion.... "Tricky" Tiki Tortez!
Vic Canon - Wow! Lucky for Tiki, he landed on top of Nuno! Or else we might have had a new champion thanks to Divine!
Eddie Sensation - And speaking of Divine... look at him! What the hell is he doing?!
The Informer - Oh great! He's carrying Tiki Tortez to the backstage area!
Vic Canon - This is what Tortez did to Divine last week! I guess this is payback!
Eddie Sensation - Well, get a damn camera in the basement then! I want to see what sick and twisted things Divine is going to do to him!
The Informer - You're sick Eddie! And no matter how much you want to see that, we WONT be seeing it! We have to take a commercial break!
Vic Canon - Dont go anywhere!
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
Backstage... [ We can see Fallen Angel and Kimberly walking through the backstage area, sipping from coffee and making their way back to the carpark. ]
Fallen Angel - What was it you left behind, anyways?
Kimberly - Um... Just something I need.
Fallen Angel - What? A magazine? A change of clothes? You got some new costume you gonna try out tonight?
Kimberly - Ah... Not exactly...
[ Kimberly stops and whispers something in Fallen Angel's ear. ]
Fallen Angel - Oh right... Um... I'll... Doesn't matter.
Kimberly - Yeah... Okay.
[ As the akwardness sets in, they come to the parking lot, only to find Zed and Santoro standing by Fallen Angel's limousine... WHICH IS PINK!!! ]
Zed - Uh oh.
Santoro - Shit.
Kimberly - Oh my god!
Fallen Angel - What the hell are you two doing here?!!!
Santoro - What do you care...?
[ Zed elbows Santoro in the face. ]
Zed - Let me explain this... Since you were such a superior athlete last week on Heat, what with winning that little race back to the locker rooms, we thought that it'd be a nice gesture if we painted your fabulous limousine a lovely pink color.
Kimberly - I kinda like it.
Fallen Angel - Don't make me slap you down, Kim... Zed, Santoro, Guys... YOU DO NOT PAINT CARS WITH PAINTBRUSHES!!! You certainly don't paint MY LIMOUSINE with a color I wouldn't even paint my kids' nursery!
Zed - What?! We were trying to congratulate you on your efforts last week by making this kind gesture!
Fallen Angel - Zed... Listen to me... Last week was a bunch of crap.
Santoro - What the--
[ Fallen Angel elbows Santoro in the face. ]
Fallen Angel - Last week... In our cage match... You tapped me... And I fell over... Then the referee declared it a no contest and we raced backstage... Okay, so it was a bit of fun... But you have taken things WAY too far!
Kimberly - If we tidied it up a bit... Maybe the pink wouldn't look so--
Fallen Angel - SHUTTHEFUCKUPKIM!!!
Kimberly - Uh oh... Testosterone overload.
Santoro - Heheheh... That's funny.
Zed - Santoro, go sit in the corner for a while. I have big person's work to do.
Fallen Angel - You too, Kim.
[ Kimberly pouts at Fallen Angel, then stamps her foot. She and Santoro wander over to the corner and take a seat. Within seconds Santoro recieves an elbow in the face from Fallen Angel's gorgeous valet. ]
Zed - Fallen Angel... Or whatever you wanna call yourself, You know that you're a better wrestler than I am.
Fallen Angel - Here we go.
Zed - Seriously, You ARE a better wrestler than I am... But you really need to step down of your high-fucking-horse and admit it. I may have beaten you a few weeks ago, but that just luck... A FLUKE!!! You know you can beat me, I know you can beat me, Kim and Santoro both know that you're better than I am, and we were just showing our appreciation for your talents by giving your limo a nice shade of pink.
Fallen Angel - Fuck you, Zed.
Zed - Excuse me?!
Fallen Angel - You heard... There's no way that you're gonna get away with this... Tom's gonna hear about this one... Believe you me.
Zed - Fine... Run to your little boss... See if I care... In fact... I'll come with you...
Fallen Angel - STOP DOING THAT!!! God-damn it! You're so frustrating, Zed!
Zed - No I'm not! YOU ARE!
Fallen Angel - Shut the hell up!
Zed - Only if you do first!
Fallen Angel - Zed... You really are an idiot.
Zed - Takes one to know one.
Fallen Angel - AAAARRRGGHH!!!!!
[ Fallen Angel clenches a fist, reaches back, and clobbers Zed, knocking him to the ground with one blow. Santoro and Kimberly run back over to inspect the damage. ]
Santoro - OH MY GOD!!! Zed!
Kimberly - What the hell did you do to him?
Fallen Angel - I couldn't handle it any longer... I just had to put him in his place... Come Kim, we have an appointment with Mr Stone.
[ Fallen Angel and Kimberly link arms and walk off, leaving Zed lying in the arms of his yesman, Santoro. Slowly but surely, he opens one eye... Then the other. ]
Santoro - Zed!! Zed!! Speak to me! Are you alright?!
Zed - Yes I'm alright you idiot! It takes more than one punch to put me out.
Santoro - Then why are you laying here...? ...oh...I get it....
Zed - [Sighs] I get the feeling you don't. I'm presenting the image that Fallen Angel is byfar the superior athlete by creating the illusion that I can't even handle ONE of his punches.
Santoro - I get it! You're a genius!
Zed - I know. Now Kim, and probably even Fallen Angel, both think I'm passed out because of his one punch. Soon they'll doubt my ability, and I will once again triumph by forcing Fallen Angel to admit he's better than I am!!! AHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!
Santoro - Yeah...but do you really want people thinking Fallen Angel's better than you?
Zed - Image isn't the issue here Santoro. It's about being right.
Santoro - Being right? How're you being right? All you're doing is pretending so Fallen Angel will think he's better than you. And I know for a damn fact that you don't REALLY believe that Fallen Angel's better than you, especially after you kicked his ass two weeks ago in that CLEAN match.
[ Zed elbows Santoro in the face. ]
Zed - Shut up and let me do the thinking.
[ Zed casually walks off, with Santoro following behind him holding his nose. ]
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
Pre-Match Interview with The Brink The Brink - Joining me now, is Rob DiMarco who plans on asking me questions for my interview. What he doesn't know, is that I'm going to beat his fucking ass, if he asks me a single question off of that notecard. Robby, time for some improv.
Rob DiMarco - Alright...uhh... Tonight you have your match with Ethan Tyler... looks like it should be a good match.. and uhh.. yeah!
The Brink - Rob...
Rob DiMarco - Yeah?
The Brink - You call that a question?!
Rob DiMarco - Uhh.. I d..don't.. know
The Brink - Give me that fucking thing you worthless little bitch.
[ The Brink grabs the clipboard w/ Rob's notecard, placing it in his arms. He looks down at the list of questions, and nods at them ]
The Brink - Rob, you got a pen man?
Rob DiMarco - Sure, I've got one right here in my pocket.
The Brink - Thanks.
[ He grabs the pen from DiMarco, and starts to write furiously on a piece of paper. After five minutes of scribbling, Brink hands DiMarco back his clipboard. Rob looks down at the paper, unveiling the "new" questions ]
1) Is Rob DiMarco a virgin? (Yes)
2) Fuck you DiMarco.
3) No, that wasn't a question.
4) Or an offer.
5) Is Brink going to beat the shit out of Tyler tonight? (Yes)
6) Why do I suck at life? (Only god knows)
7) This interview...
[ The Brink throws down his shit, and walks away laughing ]
8) Is OVER.
[ Rob looks up, to see that no one is around ]
Rob DiMarco - GOD DAMNIT!
Pre-Match Interview with Ethan Tyler Rachel Stevens - With me now is Ethan Tyler who in mere moments will step into the ring with The Brink in what was suppose to be a tag match... How does this affect your strategy?
Ethan Tyler - Rachel, for one night, let's change roles, I'll be the one asking the questions tonight. Brink, who do you think you are? Do you think that you can walk right in and step into the International Title scene?
Rachel Stevens - Him and Nomad do have history.....
Ethan Tyler - When I direct a question to you, then you answer, so shut up. Brink, where do you think you get off attacking Nomad and keeping him from the match tonight? What gives you the right to think you can waltz on to EWA television and get it easy?
Ethan Tyler - Do you think you have it easy with your New Resistance buddies? Let me ask you, when you're laying in the hospital next to Covington tonight, will you think that you'll be able to walk tomorrow? Do you wonder if you will ever be able to walk again?
Ethan Tyler - But most importantly, do you remember what I did to the last man who made his triumphant return to the EWA? I humbled him, I crippled him, I ran him out........... Remember that Brink, remember........
Rachel Stevens - Back to you guys!
One Fall Match
Ethan Tyler vs. The BrinkChris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall!
[ "Rocket Science" by The Pimps blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'3" and weighing in at 246 pounds, from Portland, Oregon, "The Facilitator" Ethan Tyler!
[ "The Facilitator" Ethan Tyler steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
[ "I" by Taproot blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'6" and weighing in at 266 pounds, from Charlotte, NC, The Brink!
[ The Brink steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - And the Brink STORMS into the ring! He meets Ethan Tyler in the middle of the ring... LEFT FIST by The Brink! Right by Tyler! Left by Brink!
Vic Canon - They're going at it! These two men, and these two teams dont like each other too much!
Eddie Sensation - TOO MUCH?! HA! They HATE each other!
The Informer - The Brink spins, kicks Tyler in the gut.... WHAM!!!! HOSTILE DDT!!!! AND THIS PLACE HAS EXPLODED!!!
Vic Canon - The Brink goes for the cover... the ref counts, 1... 2.... No! Tyler gets a shoulder up!
Eddie Sensation - Damn! These fans are going NUTS!
The Informer - They love The Brink, Eddie! Now The Brink lifts Tyler to his feet, and throws him to the ropes. Tyler bounces back, and The Brink plants him in the mat with a Sidewalk Slam!
Vic Canon - The Brink gets right back up to his feet, and stands above Ethan Tyler! He grabs Tyler's legs... spreads them apart.... and.....
Eddie Sensation - OOOH!!!! RIGHT IN THE NUTS!!!!!
The Informer - OUCH! The Brink just introduced his foot into Ethan Tyler's "boys"!
Vic Canon - GOOD! I hope it hurt! I hate Tyler!
Eddie Sensation - Yeah yeah yeah!
The Informer - The Brink lifts Tyler to his feet... he throws Tyler to the ropes, and Ethan ducks a clothesline! He bounces off the ropes again... and ducks a Spinning Heel Kick! Ethan Tyler bounces off the ropes again....
Vic Canon - WHAM!!!!!!!!!!!! INDIGO FLOW DDT!!!! BRINK NAILED HIM WITH IT!!!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - And this place has EXPLODED, AGAIN!!!!
The Informer - Now what?! What's Brink doing?! ....OH MY! HE'S APPLYING THE LYIN TAMER!!!! THIS COULD VERY WELL BE THE END OF ETHAN TYLER!!!!!!!
Vic Canon - HEY, LOOK! HERE COMES NOMAD! NOMAD IS STORMING TO THE RING WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!!!
Eddie Sensation - The Brink see's him, and he releases the hold!
The Informer - Nomad is in the ring, and The Brink puts him down with a clothesline! And look at the entrance ramp! Here comes the rest of The New Resistance!!!
Vic Canon - OOH!! The Brink clotheslines Nomad over the top rope, and Ethan Tyler rolls out of the ring! That chicken shit!
Eddie Sensation - Vic, one day you should say this stuff to his face! That would be cool to see! HA HA!!!
The Informer - Fans, we're going to take another quick break! We'll be back in a second!
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
Suddenly... [ Blackout. ]
Vic Canon - This can only be one of two men...
[ 5 red and silver pyro-bombs explode simulataneously as "Everything's Cool" by Pop Will Eat Itself begins to play. Serial Thrylla is clad in sneakers, maroon color tear away pants, and a black on silver on black Team Ballz jersey. In the aftermath of last week, Serial Thrylla is walking to the ring with what appears to be a very painful limp ]
Serial Thrylla - Sit down and shut up.
[ The crowd just boos louder and louder. ]
The Informer - Look at who the bad ass is now!! Thrylla is a cripple with that right leg! Serves that bastard right, especially after what transpired when Team Ballz took over Tuesday Night Heat.
Serial Thrylla - Eat it up.. go right fucking ahead... Every last one of you!!! COME ON, LET ME HEAR IT. BOO ME... HATE ME.. FUCKING DESPISE!!! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!! BECAUSE GUESS WHAT!?!? YOU WILL NEVER EVER GET RID OF ME. YOU CAN'T!!!
[ The crowd is in an absolute frenzy. ]
Serial Thrylla - TBL COULDN'T DO IT TWO YEARS AGO... FU MAN CREW COULDN'T DO IT THIS SUMMER... DI NADRO DIDN'T DO IT.... AND NOT EVEN MY OWN FUCKING TEAM BALLZ BLOOD, ETHAN TYLER, COULD DO IT......
[ With an eerie calmness in his voice. ]
Serial Thrylla - And you think the New Resistance can do it????
[ Crowd pops at the mention of the EWA's newest sensation. ]
The Informer - I think they can...
Serial Thrylla - Yeah, lets talk about the New Resistance.... The Newest band of American heros?? More like 5 new victims. Thorn, that was one helluva "shoot" you dropped last week... Boooo hooooo... Thorn isn't going to be held down anymore!!! Hey, moron, not too long ago your lips were chapped from kissing corporate ass. Now, you're suddenly the leader of a new revolution!? Wake up and smell your own shit asshole... Team Ballz rocked the EWA to it's core on June 18th, 2000 when we single handedly changed the way every single one of you morons in the audience think.... NO ONE, not you Thorn, not Brink, not the Fu Man Crew, not even Nick Diamante can claim that. Chandler and I shocked the world.. and whether you love us or hate us..... One thing remains... WE MADE YOU THINK ABOUT US...
Serial Thrylla - We shocked you all... and you will NEVER forget that evening.. you will NEVER forget Johannesburg, South Africa... AND YOU WILL NEVER forget us after Rival Schoolz. OUR COLORS DON'T BLEED... TRY TREADING ON US.. I dare anyone.
[ The crowd continues to rain boos down upon Thrylla. ]
Serial Thrylla - Mindless drones. All of you. You keep finding heroes and we'll keep killing them, that simple. Tonight will be no different...
Eddie Sensation - He has gone insane. Thrylla is a suck and disturbed man.
Serial Thrylla - Thorn..... Chandler is gonna fix your atittude problem real quickly. As for Anton Bailey, you got lucky last week. In just a few short minutes, I'm going to expose you for the rookie that you are.
The Informer - Awfully big words from a man on one leg.
Serial Thrylla - Miracles happen Anton. How else do me losing last week, or even explain why you're not employed as a janitor right now... Mr. Bailey.. You claim to be "The Made Man"... Well, when this is over, we're gonna change it "Flash In the Pan". You're fucking finished.
[ Serial Thrylla throws down the microphone. ]
Pre-Match Interview with Thorn and Anton Bailey Rachel Stevens - I'm standing here with two of the EWA's hottest wrestlers, Thorn and Anton Bailey of The New Resistance. Tonight you go into a match agaist Team Ballz front men, Chandler and Serial Thrylla. Thorn, on Sunday you have a match against Chandler at the PPV for the EWA Heavyweight Championship, last time you went into the PPV with the upper hand, do you think the same will happen tonight?
Thorn - Rachel, last week, Bailey here took out Serial Thrylla, A FUCKING LEGEND IN THE EWA! In his first match EVER in the EWA, he took out the EWA's most known wrestler, and you ask me if I'll have the upper hand coming into the PPV next Sunday. With Bailey, Virulent, Brink, and Cody Covington by my side.... I WILL ALWAYS have the upper hand. With a team like mine, with a group like this, do you think that a measy little team like Team Ballz can take us out? Sure, they've got the name power, they've got the past, but that's all they've got. We have the future Rachel, you know why? Because WE ARE THE FUCKING FUTURE!! We have the youth, we have the talent, we have the dedication, we have EVERYTHING! Team Ballz was then, Team Ballz is what you think of when you think of the EWA's past, but when you think of now, when you think of present day EWA, you WILL think of The New Resistance!!
Rachel Stevens - Team Ballz is currently one of the EWA's biggest draws though Thorn, how can you compete with that fact??
Anton Bailey - They only draw so they can kiss Tom Stone's ass and get a raise!! THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT THE FUCKING FANS, THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING BUT THEMSELVES!!
Thorn - Hold up Anton, I got this one. So, Team Ballz is one of the EWA's biggest draws Rachel?
Rachel Stevens - Yes. That's correct.
Thorn - Then why.... when I look into the crowd during a Team Ballz interview, or when a theme from one of the members in Team Ballz hits the soundsystem.... Why do I see the fans doing this...? [Immitating the fans...] "Oh.... great.. it's... Team... BallzZzZzZzZzZz....".... You get the fucking point bitch. That's why I have to always save the fucking day, that's why WE always have to save the fucking day. Why do the ratings go up when Team Ballz comes out? Cause they know that The New Resistance will be there, they know that we will come out, and THAT bitchface, is why Team Ballz draws... simply because of US.
Anton Bailey - Now, if you'll fucking excuse us, we have some ass to go kick.
[ Thorn pushes past Rachel as Anton gives her a halfass fuck off smile and walks by with a wink. ]
Rachel Stevens - Dumb fuc.... oh... back to you guys that ringside!!
Tag Team Match
Chandler & Serial Thrylla vs. Thorn & Anton BaileyChris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Tag Team Match!
Chris Myers - Introducing first, already in the ring... standing 6'2" and weighing in at 237 pounds, from Syracuse, New York, Serial Thrylla!
[ "Ready or Not" by The Fugees blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And his tag-team partner... standing 6' and weighing in at 204 pounds, from Shreveport, Louisiana, the EWA Heavyweight Champion... Chandler!
[ The EWA Heavyweight Champion, Chandler steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
[ "Loose" by Primer 55 blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And their opponents... First, standing 6'4" and weighing in at 260 pounds, from Tucson, Arizona, Anton Bailey!
[ Anton Bailey steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
[ "Edgecrusher" by Fear Factory blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And his partner... standing 6'1" and weighing in at 201 pounds, from Sacramento, CA, Thorn!
[ Thorn steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - What a match this should be! And it looks like Anton Bailey is going to start this one off against Chandler!
Vic Canon - There's the bell, this match is underway! Bailey lunges a knee at Chandler! Bailey hooks Chandler... OOH! Double underhook DDT! Bailey goes for the pin... the ref counts, 1.... 2...... Chandler with an easy kick out!
Eddie Sensation - You're NOT beating the EWA Heavyweight Champion with a Double Underhook DDT! What a moron!
The Informer - Quiet Eddie. Bailey picks up Chandler, and swings for a standing clothesline! Chandler ducks, turns around, and grabs Bailey.... WHAM! Belly-To-Back Suplex! into a pin.... 1..... 2..... No! Bailey kicks out!
Vic Canon - Chandler gets right back up, and so does Bailey. Chandler kicks him in the gut.... LOOK OUT! WHAM! Fishbone Dynamite Driver! Chandler nailed it! He goes for the cover... the ref counts.... 1..... 2....
Eddie Sensation - No! Thorn breaks up the count!
The Informer - And now Chandler tags in Serial Thrylla.... injured knee and all! Thrylla kicks away at the man who beat him last week, Anton Bailey!
Vic Canon - Thrylla lifts him to his feet, and lets him stumble around the ring a bit...
Eddie Sensation - Serial Thrylla is measuring him up for something!
The Informer - Yes he is.... the CRESENT KICK! WHAM! NO!! BAILEY DUCKED IT, AND NOW HE TAKES OUT THRYLLA'S KNEE WITH A KICK TO THE BACK OF IT!!!
Vic Canon - Thrylla goes down in pain! And Bailey continues to stomp on the knee!
Eddie Sensation - Listen to Chandler yell and scream at the ref! He wants a disqualification for that deliberate knee-shot!
The Informer - Anton Bailey tags in Thorn! And Thorn goes right to work on the knee of Serial Thrylla!
Vic Canon - Look at the ref... he's going over to warn Bailey about Thrylla's knee, I presume!
Eddie Sensation - HEY, LOOK! SOMEONE'S COMING OUT OF THE CROWD!
The Informer - It's KURT POSER! He's got a steel chair! WHAM!!!! OH MY GOD!!!! POSER JUST NAILED CHANDLER IN THE BACK WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!!! HE DIDNT EVEN SEE POSER COME THROUGH THE CROWD!!!!
Vic Canon - And now Poser is making his was over to Thorn and Serial Thrylla! I guess Thrylla is next!
Eddie Sensation - WHAM!!!! OH GOD!!!!! POSER JUST NAILED THORN WITH THE CHAIR! HE NAILED HIM RIGHT ON THE TOP OF THE HEAD! THORN DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE WAS STANDING THERE!
The Informer - And now Poser is leaving through the crowd! I guess he wants to send a message to the main even wrestlers of the EWA, that he's NOT to be taken lightly!
Vic Canon - Well, now look at what he's done! Serial Thrylla is crawling over to cover Thorn! And he's got the pin! The ref counts.... 1...... 2........
Eddie Sensation - NO!!!! Anton Bailey broke up the count!
The Informer - Damn! That was close!
Vic Canon - And now Bailey is on the apron, reaching over to get the tag from Thorn!
Eddie Sensation - But look at Serial Thrylla! He's crawling to his corner, and he's making progress! He's a few feet away! But he doesnt know that Chandler is out cold on the outside, due to that Kurt Poser chair shot!
The Informer - And Thorn makes the tag to Bailey! Thrylla is in his corner... he looks up.... NO CHANDLER! Look at his face!
Vic Canon - Thrylla is completely confused! But here comes Bailey, from behind! And he kicks Thrylla a few more times in the back of the knee!!!
Eddie Sensation - Now Bailey is applying a Single-Leg Boston Crab on Serial Thrylla! And look! Chandler is on his feet!!
The Informer - But so is Thorn! Thorn see's Chandler getting in the ring, and so is he! Thorn charges at Chandler....
Vic Canon - WHAM!!! CLOTHESLINE, AND BOTH THORN AND CHANDLER GO OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!!
Eddie Sensation - Bailey has it locked on! Thrylla is SCREAMING in pain!!!
The Informer - Serial Thrylla's face is dark, dark red! I can see shades of blue too! Thrylla is in INTENSE pain!
Vic Canon - AND LOOK!!! HERE COMES ETHAN TYLER AND NOMAD!!! THEY'RE RUNNING DOWN TO THE RING!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT!!!!!!
The Informer - TYLER SLIDES IN, AND KICKS BAILEY IN THE CHEST AS HARD AS HE CAN!!!!!! NOMAD JUMPS ON BAILEY, AND BEGINS PUNCHING HIS FACE IN!!!!!
Vic Canon - THE REF IS CALLING FOR THE BELL! HE'S LOST CONTROLL OF THIS MATCH!!!
Chris Myers - The referee has stopped the match, and awarded it by means of Disqualification to the team of Anton Bailey and Thorn!
Eddie Sensation - LOOK AT CHANDLER AND THORN!!!! CHANDLER AND THORN!!!! WHAM!!!!!
The Informer - BIG TIMER!!!!! BIG TIMER!!!!! CHANDLER NAILED THORN!!!! HE'S OUT COLD!!!!!!
Vic Canon - AND NOW CHANDLER IS IN THE RING, AND TWO MEMBERS OF TEAM BALLZ ARE BEATING ON ANTON BAILEY, WHILE ETHAN TYLER IS ATTENDING TO SERIAL THRYLLA!!!
Eddie Sensation - LOOK! Nomad and Chandler have Bailey on his feet! They both grab him, and toss him OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!!
The Informer - And NOW here comes The Brink, Cody Covington and Virulent! But we're out of time! GOD DAMMIT! FANS, THANK YOU FOR JOINING US ON TUESDAY NIGHT HEAT, AND BE SURE TO TUNE IN ON SUNDAY NIGHT, FOR RIVAL SCHOOLZ! ITS GOING TO BE ONE HELL OF A NIGHT, DONT MISS IT!!!! GOODNIGHT!!!!!
