[ The camera brings us to a shot of the EWA symbol, which quickly fades to black. We then see a montage of clips from the EWA's last Tuesday Night Heat show. After a 2-3 minute video is show, the EWA Tuesday Night Heat video is played. Many clips of past matches, current superstars and pyro are shown. We are then brought to a shot of inside the Delta Center in Salt Lake City, Utah, where THOUSANDS upon THOUSANDS of fans have flooded the Delta Center! After a quick view of the fans signs, we are brought to a shot of the annouce table, where The Informer, Vic Canon and Eddie Sensation are ready to kick of Tuesday Night Heat... ]The Informer - Welcome fans, to yet another SOLD OUT edition of Tuesday Night Heat! This week, we're live from Salt Lake City, Utah... where the EWA has packed the Delta Center!
Vic Canon - And on tonight's card, we have only 5 announced matches! But all you fans know, that when you watch Tuesday Night Heat, ANYTHING and EVERYTHING can happen! And I'm GUARANTEEING that tonight, there will be MORE then 5 matches on the card!
Eddie Sensation - God damn... I HATE MORMONS!!!
The Informer - Watch it Eddie! They're all around you! Haha!! Well fans, tonights card is topped by an EWA Heavyweight Title Match... between Deuce and the current champ, Chandler!
Vic Canon - That should be a solid wrestling match! But also on the card is a North American Title Match, between Vinny D and Arthryn!
Eddie Sensation - Also... Fallen Angel will take on Zed!
The Informer - Lorenzo Hayes will go one on one with Rocky Blonde.... and Christian Sein and Ethan Storm will team up to take on Divine and El GiGante!
Vic Canon - And who knows how many unexpected appearances we'll have tonight! I know that The Regulators, Team Ballz, and 3D are ALL in the building! So who knows what to expect!
Eddie Sensation - I hope the Regs kill a few Mormons!! HAHA!!
The Informer - That, and SO MUCH MORE wrestling fans! Right now, let's take it to the ring!
"Yes, let us begin… shall we?" [ As the echo of a familiar voice fills the arena, "Got The Life" by KoRn suddenly blasts over the audio system to a tremendous pop from the audience… ]
The Informer - Yes! It's "The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante! Back on Tuesday Night Heat for the first time in over 3 months!
Vic Canon - And these fans love him a lot more this time around!
[ "The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante steps out from behind the curtain to a thunderous ovation! He's wearing an all black "Metallica" baseball cap turned backwards, a plain black t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up just below his shoulders, and a pair of blue denim shorts. In hand, he is carrying a microphone as he stands in the aisleway with a smile on his face… ]
Eddie Sensation - Man, he looks in great shape too! A little time off will do everyone some good!
The Informer - That's the truth!
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - Hey, cut the music… cut it off!
Vic Canon - This man seems ready to get down to business.
[ Diamante slowly walks down the aisle as he begins to speak… ]
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - So… Nick Diamante is back, huh?
[ Huge pop by the ringside crowd… ]
Eddie Sensation - Amen!
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - Yeah, I'm back… and I have a few notable things to say here tonight.
[ Diamante reaches the ring and climbs up onto the apron. He enters the ring and spits out his chewing gum… ]
The Informer - Looks pretty focused, wouldn't you say?
Vic Canon - Indeed.
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - Ten days ago… Rock The Boat… "The Diamond Stud" makes his return to the EWA. Some critics roll their eyes… others sigh in relief. But one thing is for sure. It doesn't seem like a single fan has any complaints about me bein' here tonight!
[ The crowd cheers in approval… ]
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - Let me make it real, real clear for everyone. Three months ago after No Fear went off the airwaves, Tom Stone approached me with a look of disbelief in his eyes. He says… "Nick, what you did for me tonight… what you did for this company tonight… I just can't thank you enough." Yes… Stone was elated because Chandler and I put on a storybook adventure called the "I RESPECT YOU!" match… and it ended in a fashion that a lot of matches just don't end these days.
[ Diamante pauses and looks out into the crowd for a moment… ]
Eddie Sensation - What a match it was! The best, bar none!
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - It ended cleanly, with one dude givin' up in defeat... and that guy was me. I had the life choked out of me by Clayton Chandler… the man who this day stands before all of us as the reigning EWA World Heavyweight Champ.
[ The fans boo the very mention of Chandler's name… ]
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - I… Respect… You.
[ Diamante once again looks out into crowd for a moment… ]
The Informer - You've gotta wonder what's going through his mind. This isn't the same calm and cool Diamante that showed up at Rock The Boat.
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - Well, Chandler… I give you all the props in the world. On May 21st, you beat the hell outta me… and you basically stopped me in my tracks. The hottest thing goin' in the wrestling world was humbled in one night, by one dude… in the ultimate way. Good stuff, my friend… you proved to me that you indeed are the better man.
[ The fans once again begin to boo… ]
Vic Canon - It takes a real big man to say that.
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - I was all done. Frustrated with the loss, yet willing to move on. That was then… but this… [nodding his head] …THIS IS NOW!
[ Huge pop… ]
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - Chandler, I watched you and your boy Serial Thrylla come out here week after week and abuse your power. You beat up crippled golf legends! You fork innocent fans! In every possible way, you spread a dark cloud of hatred over this organization. You, my friend… are abusing your power, and that pisses me off!
Eddie Sensation - Diamante doesn't look too happy.
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - At Rock The Boat, I returned to have fun, be part of history, and to remind you that even though you choked the respect out of me some three months ago… you DID NOT kill me! BIG MISTAKE, Cajun! BIG… F*CKING… MISTAKE!
The Informer - It may turn out to be Chandler's worst nightmare in the end!
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - Chandler… you, and this… this… new version of Team Ballz…
[ Smiles and strokes his goatee… ]
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - YOU MAKE ME SICK!
[ The crowd explodes… ]
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - YEAH… SICK TO MY DAMN STOMACH! For the past three months, I've been training like a damn animal for this shot. Bein' at this level and in this position… where I can do something about it! I LIVE AND DIE FOR THIS! Each and everyone of you Team Ballz pieces of crap make me sick! SERIAL THRYLLA… MAKES ME SICK! NOMAD… MAKES ME SICK! ETHAN TYLER… MAKES ME SICK! And you, Chandler…
[ Suddenly, a voice is heard over the speakers… ]
Eddie Sensation - Here we go!
"Alright, enough of this fucking bullshit." The Informer - What the hell?
[ Diamante stops talking and suddenly looks to the entranceway… ]
Vic Canon - What's going on here??
Eddie Sensation - I have no clue! Who's voice was that??
[ A spotlight suddenly points out Chandler in the aisle… ]
The Informer - IT'S CHANDLER!! CHANDLER IS HERE!!
Vic Canon - BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP!!
Chandler - Hey, over here, dipshit.
[ Chandler is shown at the far corner of the arena, in his wrestling attire and a "Chandler 15:60 - 3x" t-shirt. The Heavyweight Champion is surrounded by the fans he dispises. ]
Chandler - Yeah, that's right, dickface, over here.
Chandler - Hey, listen, right now I'm feelin' pretty fucking good. You saved my title for me, you're taking all the blame for Rock The Boat sucking 12 year old primate testes, and more importantly, you make one hell of a punching bag.
[ Chandler begins walking towards the ring… ]
Chandler - So, fuck the talk...jab, jab, uppercut motherfucker…you're dead…GO!!!
Eddie Sensation - WHAT?? THIS IS NUTS!!
[ The camera catches a shot of Serial Thrylla in the crowd in another corner of the arena… ]
The Informer - OH MY GOD, IT'S SERIAL THRYLLA!! THRYLLA IS HERE TOO!!
[ The camera also picks up a shot of Nomad and Ethan Tyler in separate areas of the crowd… ]
Vic Canon - THIS IS AN AMBUSH!! AND AMBUSH BY TEAM BALLZ!!! THEY'RE GOING TO CORNER DIAMANTE IN THE RING AND BEAT THE LIVING HELL OUT OF HIM!
Eddie Sensation - DIAMANTE IS IN HUGE TROUBLE! It looks like he let his mouth write a check that his ass can't cash!
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - ALRIGHT… BRING IT ON, ASSHOLE!
[ Diamante tosses the mic… ]
The Informer - I DON'T EVEN THINK DIAMANTE KNOWS THAT THE REST OF TEAM BALLZ IS ON THEIR WAY OUT HERE!
Vic Canon - THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT! He only thinks Chandler is on his way out here!
[ Serial Thrylla jumps over the barrier behind Diamante and out of his site… ]
Eddie Sensation - CHANDLER IS ON HIS WAY TO THE RING!
The Informer - DIAMANTE IS PUMPED UP! BUT HE HAS NO CLUE WHAT HE'S ABOUT TO EXPERIENCE!
Vic Canon - THIS NEW COMBO OF TEAM BALLZ THAT FORMED AT ROCK THE BOAT MAY BE THE MOST DEADLY VERSION TO DATE! And Diamante is about to find that out before anyone else does!
[ Nomad hops over the barrier… ]
Eddie Sensation - NOMAD'S HERE NOW! AND LOOK!! DIAMANTE JUST SPOTTED NOMAD!!
The Informer - HE JUST FIGURED IT OUT!! NOW HE SEES A MEMBER OF TEAM BALLZ ON EVERY SIDE OF THE RING!! THRYLLA BEHIND HIM! TYLER TO HIS RIGHT!
[ Nomad jumps onto the apron, and Diamante attempts to run him off as Nomad jumps back to the floor… ]
Vic Canon - OH! HE JUST RAN AT NOMAD!! BUT NOW THRYLLA IS ON THE APRON!!
Eddie Sensation - "THE DIAMOND STUD'S" RETURN IS ABOUT TO BE SHORT LIVED!!
[ Diamante runs at Thrylla and forces him to jump down to the arena floor. Ethan Tyler slips into the ring and delivers a chop-block to Diamante's right knee… ]
The Informer - NO! NO! ETHAN TYLER GOT TO DIAMANTE!! HE TOOK OUT THE KNEE!! NOW THE REST OF TEAM BALLZ IS IN THE RING!!
Vic Canon - DIAMANTE IS DOWN, AND TEAM BALLZ IS LIKE A BUNCH OF VULTURES!!! WE MAY BE SEEING THE LAST OF NICK DIAMANTE RIGHT HERE!!!
Eddie Sensation - NOMAD AND TYLER ARE HOLDING DIAMANTE'S ARMS!!! OH MY GOODNESS!! SERIAL THRYLLA JUST PUNCHED DIAMANTE RIGHT IN THE GUT!!
The Informer - THEY'RE PICKING THEIR SHOTS!! CHANDLER IS SAYING "LET ME HAVE HIM!"
[ Suddenly, a succession of pyrobombs go off in the arena as "Rock Is Dead" by Marylin Manson hits the speakers. Team Ballz turns to face the aisle momentarily… ]
Vic Canon - WHAT IN THE LIVING HELL??
Eddie Sensation - LOOK!! LOOK!!! THE 3D!!! THE 3D!!!
[ "The Original Outlaw" Vinny D, "The Hustler" Marty Delaney and Bigg Daddy Deuce come running down the aisle to a thunderous roar… ]
The Informer - CHANDLER JUST KICKED DIAMANTE!!! BUT HERE COMES THE CAVALRY!!!
Vic Canon - THEY HIT THE RING!!! THIS IS ALL OUT CHAOS!!!
Eddie Sensation - VINNY D AND THRYLLA ARE TRADING FISTS!!!
The Informer - WHAM!! WHAM!! NOMAD IS PUTTING THE BOOTS TO THE HUSTLER!!
Vic Canon - CHANDLER IS DOING THE SAME TO DIAMANTE!!
Eddie Sensation - HERE COMES MAJOR EWA BACKUP!!!
The Informer - HOLY CRAP!! BIGG DADDY DEUCE JUST SENT ETHAN TYLER TO THE GROUND WITH A CLOTHESLINE!!
Vic Canon - LISTEN TO THIS CROWD!! WHAT A WAY TO START OFF HEAT!!
Eddie Sensation - THE RING IS FILLING WITH OFFICIALS!!! DAMN!!! LET THEM GO!!!
The Informer - WHAT A BRAWL WE'VE GOT GOING ON HERE!!! TEAM BALLZ HAD A PLAN TO TRAP DIAMANTE IN THE RING AND AMBUSH HIM BEFORE OUR VERY EYES!!
Vic Canon - BUT THANK GOD FOR THE 3D!! OR ELSE DIAMANTE WOULD BE A BLOOD SPOT ON THE MAT!
Eddie Sensation - MAN, THESE OFFICIALS ARE RISKING THEIR LIVES RIGHT NOW!!!
The Informer - TELL ME ABOUT IT, EDDIE!! FANS, WE'VE GOT TO TAKE A COMMERCIAL BREAK!
Vic Canon - WHAT?? NOT NOW!!
The Informer - WE'LL KEEP THE CAMERAS ROLLING, AND HOPEFULLY WE'LL HAVE THIS SITUATION FIGURED OUT BY THE TIME WE RETURN! DON'T GO ANYWHERE!!
Backstage... [ The scene cuts to the back to see an enraged Lorenzo Hayes stepping out of his limo. ]
Vic Canon - Uh oh! This can't be good for Don Michaels!
Eddie Sensation - Last Saturday Michaels just barely got away from Lorenzo; he jumped off the Dynasty! But this week I'm not sure if he is going to be so lucky! If I were Don Michaels I would get out of Utah as soon as possible!
The Informer - But Don Michaels isn't the only person that Lorenzo wants to get his hands on tonight! He has a match against Rocky Blonde and not only that but from what we heard at the PPV Josh Hamric is in Lorenzo Hayes's bad boots!
Vic Canon - So what you're saying is that Rocky Blonde, Don Michaels, and Josh Hamric are all in danger of the welfare of their lives?
Eddie Sensation - Wait a minute Lorenzo is saying something!
[ Lorenzo who has hold of an EWA staff member by the neck begins to scream. ]
Lorenzo Hayes - Have you seen Hamric!?!
EWA Employee - Yes sir! He went that way!
[ The employee points towards the dressing room, as he does Lorenzo let's go of his neck and begins to walk towards guess where, yes you got it the dressing room! ]
The Informer - Looks like Hamric is first in store for what Hayes calls SHOWTIME!
Eddie Sensation - Finally the EWA will be rid of Hamric! This is the greatest day of my life!
Vic Canon - You're a sad sad man Eddie!
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
The Informer - Fans, we're back! But this one is still going on! The officials have managed to back Team Ballz to the top of the ramp, while Nicky D and the 3 Dimensions of Wrestling are in the ring!
Vic Canon - Diamante's got the mic!!
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - YOU SONS OF BITCHES WANNA JUMP ME?! THAT'S FINE… JUST AS LONG AS I GET ALL YOUR ASSES IN THE RING TONIGHT!! EVERYONE OF YOU!!
Eddie Sensation - WHAT THE HELL?? IS HE INSANE?? HE'S LOST IT!!
The Informer - DIAMANTE IS TALKING ON EMOTION!! He's nuts!!
[ "The Original Outlaw" Vinny D grabs a mic from Chris Myers at ringside… ]
Vic Canon - Wait! Di Nardo has a mic!
"The Original Outlaw" Vinny D - Nick, buddy, just calm down. Think this out for a second, ok?? Don't let these jackoffs get under your skin, got it?? It's simple, they're trying to toy with you, play on your emotions. Can't you see?? They're trying to get you off of your game, so they can take advantage of you man. They just wanna do the worst to you, and you're falling into their trap, but, we ain't gonna let it go any further. Nick, you know how it is now a days, and there ain't no way in hell that you're gonna be able to take team ballz on by yourself. So The New 3D steps into the picture. Nick brother, like we always have, we got ya back, there ain't no way you're gonna be fightin this war alone man.. You got the fucking troops now, and we got the motherfucking ammo to take these sons of bitches out!!
Eddie Sensation - Vince makes a good point!
The Informer - Diamante is all bent out of shape right now, and they need to calm him down!
Vic Canon - Deuce has got the mic!
Deuce - Nick, lets get one thing straight. You aren't looking at the West Mephis Three, the Little Pigs or the Three Stooges... you are looking at the NEW and IMPROVED... Three Dimensions of Wrestling. And as a former member Nick you have the respect and the trust and the support of not only myself but Vinny D and the Hustler. If someone has beef with you son, they got beef with 3D.
Eddie Sensation - These guys need the unity! Look at Team Ballz up on the ramp! They're the most devastating force I've seen in a long time!
The Informer - Diamante just got the living hell kicked out of him! Knowing him, he would want to fight Team Ballz all by himself!
Vic Canon - He's a hothead, that's for sure!
Eddie Sensation - Deuce just handed the mic over to The Hustler!
"The Hustler" Marty Delaney - Nick, look at me man. Who's the guy who's been with you ever since you lost that match against Chandler? Who has been getting you into the best shape of your life? Who has trained with you, side by side, pushing you to reach that next level of excellence? You're looking at him. I did you the favor of helping you train............now do me the favor of letting us help you kick Team Ballz ass!
The Informer - The members of the new 3 Dimensions of Wrestling are trying to convince Diamante that this is the only way to go!
Vic Canon - Hold on, here we go!
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - ALL I WANT IS A PIECE OF THEIR ASSES! You guys wanna back me up on this deal…
[ Diamante turns around to look in the direction of Team Ballz for a moment… ]
Eddie Sensation - Is he gonna accept??
The Informer - He'd better if he hopes to stay alive in this game of survival!
[ Diamante turns back around to face the 3D and extends his fist… ]
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - THEN I SAY LETS KICK TEAM BALLZ ASS!!
Vic Canon - ALRIGHT!!!!
[ The crowd goes insane as the 3D and Diamante exchange props in the ring… ]
Eddie Sensation - NOW WE'VE GOT A MAJOR WAR ON OUR HANDS! AND THE SIDES ARE EVEN!!
The Informer - Team Ballz is about to receive competition like never before guys!
[ "Got The Life" by KoRn begins to blast over the speakers… ]
Vic Canon - Look at Team Ballz! They're not lacking any focus here!
Eddie Sensation - I've got a feeling that the EWA is gonna be an all out warzone in the next couple of weeks!
The Informer - You've got that right! Well, as the officials guide Team Ballz to the back, let's go to the back for some prematch comments.
Backstage... [ The camera cuts backstage suddenly and shows a long hallway with picture frames lined up along the wall. Echoing of a tap and glass breaking comes around a corner behind the view and then the person walks by wearing all black with a hat covering the hair with 2 kendo sticks in his hands dragging them against the wall singing a high chorus pitch. ]
Demons In
Demons Out
Cry for Dawn
Gratis
Bored
I'm The Mastador Of The Children's Ward
Beggars Wed Choosers
Red Sheets
Red Sheets
Boozers
I'm The Head Fan
Blessed Be My Bed Pan[ As odd as it may sound, he sings it loudly walking down the hall knocking all the pictures off the wall and making sure the frames break and glass shatters everywhere. ]
The Informer - What the hell is that guy doing?
Eddie Sensation - I don't know... Is he that guy that blew that table up the other week?
Vic Canon - Only you would find something cool in setting a ping pong table on fire and leaving a stupid message...whatever the hell it meant.
[ Finally he turns the corner and disappears. Then a little oily squeak of a door opening... ]
Voice - What the hell is that asshole doing?
[ The camera turns and sees Jonathan Creed, Wildman's former wrestling trainer standing against the wall next to the door wiping his hand over his face in dusgust and taking a deep breath. He returns back into his room, but before doing so he mumbles "Shit's got to stop..." ]
Pre-Match Interview with Lorenzo Hayes [ The scene fades into the back to find Lorenzo Hayes beating the crap out of Josh Hamric. ]
The Informer - Well it looks like Lorenzo Hayes found Josh Hamric!
Vic Canon - God! Josh Hamric looks in bad shape he's bleeding from the mouth!
Eddie Sensation - [Laughing] Lorenzo Hayes grabs a steel chair!
[ Lorenzo Hayes swings the steel chair and connects straight on the cranium of the man who created the NHBWF! ]
The Informer - OUCH! And look at Lorenzo Hayes he is relentless throwing multiple chair shots onto the unconscious body of Josh Hamric!
Vic Canon - Lorenzo has picked up Josh Hamric for a suplex!
Eddie Sensation - Oh god! He just hit a brain buster! Josh Hamric's head just hit the hard cement!
The Informer - Cool down Lorenzo! All he did was not tell you that you had a match!
Vic Canon - Take that back Informer, or you will be next on Lorenzo's list!
The Informer - Good point! But it's not like Josh slept with Dominique!
Eddie Sensation - Josh slept with Dominique! [Laughing] Josh is as dead as JFK!
Vic Canon - LORENZO HAYES JUST HIT A RELEASE BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX ON JOSH HAMRIC THROUGH A TABLE! Get some paramedics to Josh! He's in a really really bad condition!
Lorenzo Hayes - Rocky Blonde you're next! And Don don't even think that I have forgot about you!
The Informer - Finally Lorenzo has stopped the beating! And finally we have some help for Josh Hamric! Get him to a hospital as quickly as possible!
One Fall Match
Lorenzo Hayes vs. Rocky BlondeChris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by Joe, standing 6'1" and weighing in at 235 pounds, from Brooklyn, New York, Rocky Blonde!
[ "Cowboys from Hell" by Pantera blasts through the speakers, as Joe and Rocky Blonde step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring. ]
Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'3" and weighing in at 267 pounds, from Palm Springs, Los Angeles, Lorenzo Hayes!
[ "What's The Difference" by Dr. Dre blasts through the speakers, as Lorenzo Hayes steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
Vic Canon - Well he's got three people on his beating list tonight, he's already got rid of Hamric... next on the list is Rocky!
The Informer - After seeing what he did to Hamric, all I got to say is look out Rocky Blonde!
Eddie Sensation - Lorenzo just slid into the ring! Rocky Blonde goes for a clothesline but Lorenzo ducks!
Vic Canon - Leg Sweep by Lorenzo Hayes, and he is now throwing left and rights to the face of Blonde. Lorenzo picks Rocky up to his feet and whips him to the ropes!
The Informer - A "picture perfect" dropkick from Mr. Ratings!
Eddie Sensation - I still can't get over what Lorenzo did to Josh Hamric! Josh Hamric was the man who brought Lorenzo into the wrestling business!
The Informer - But that just shows how focused Lorenzo Hayes is on getting his hands on Don Michaels! When Josh Hamric did not tell Lorenzo that he had a match with Don Michaels at the PPV, Josh Hamric virtually told Lorenzo Hayes that he did not want to manage him anymore!
Vic Canon - Good point! Lorenzo has full control in this match! Lorenzo has Rocky Blonde's head situated in between his thighs and he picks Rocky up, WHAT A POWERBOMB!
Eddie Sensation - God when Rocky hit the mat it sounded like a bomb went off!
The Informer - Lorenzo once again whips Rocky into the ropes, Lorenzo goes for a clothesline, but Rocky ducks!
Eddie Sensation - Clothesline by Rocky Blonde, and it knocks Lorenzo down to the mat!
Vic Canon - Look at Rocky Blonde posing for the fans! This is the wrong thing to do against some one of the stature of Lorenzo Hayes! And look Lorenzo is back on his feet and Rocky has not realized it!
[ While Rocky Blonde poses for the fans two of Don Michaels infamous Paparazzi appear at the top of the ramp way with toolboxes. ]
The Informer - What are they doing here?
Eddie Sensation - I don't know but it can't be good for Hayes!
Vic Canon - Come one guys we've got a match to call, get back to the action.
The Informer - Lorenzo walks up behind Rocky, taps Rocky on the back and as he does that Rocky turns around to be met with A TIGER BOMB! Rocky is down on the mat!
Eddie Sensation - Lorenzo is now in cruise control! He sits Rocky on the top rope and then proceeds to the second rope!
Vic Canon - What's Lorenzo going to do? OOH!!! What a Hurracanrana by Lorenzo Hayes! Rocky Blonde is once again on the mat! And Lorenzo Hayes is climbing to the top rope!
The Informer - Lorenzo leaps off and hits a magnificent frog splash!
Eddie Sensation - Lorenzo calls that The Rise of the Ratings!
Vic Canon - Good God that was an amazing frog splash! If that is what he has planned for Don Michaels... then Don, I'd get out of the wrestling business!
Eddie Sensation - Speaking of Don Michaels, where are The Paparazzi?? They were on the ramp way a moment ago!
The Informer - Who knows; I just hope they don't interfere with this match.
Vic Canon - Now Lorenzo picks Rocky up with ease and places him in a fireman's carry!
Eddie Sensation - Oh my! Lorenzo just spun the fireman's carry into an inverted DDT!!
Vic Canon - Lorenzo is finally going to finish Rocky Blonde, he's signaling for ShowTime!
The Informer - Lorenzo is pointing towards the top rope and this cannot be good for Rocky Blonde! Listen to the crowd they want to see ShowTime from the top ropes!
Eddie Sensation - Lorenzo places Rocky Blonde on the top rope, he then climbs up also to the top rope!
Vic Canon - Wait a minute Lorenzo is pulling something out of his pocket!
The Informer - It's a nametag! ....and it reads.... "Hi I'm Don Michaels!"
Eddie Sensation - He just placed the nametag on Rocky Blonde and look at this!
Vic Canon - SHOWTIME FROM THE TOP ROPE!!! SHOWTIME FROM THE TOP ROPE!!! Good GOD, call Rocky Blonde's officially Dead In Action!
The Informer - I've never seen ShowTime look so devastating before! And Lorenzo is going for the pin!
Eddie Sensation - 1.... 2......... 3!!!
[ The bell rings. ]
Chris Myers - And the winner of this match... Lorenzo Hayes!
Vic Canon - What a one sided match! Lorenzo Hayes looked magnificent!
Eddie Sensation - First he nailed that Frog splash that he calls "The Rise of the Ratings", and then he went and topped that off when he hit ShowTime from the top ropes!
The Informer - Wait a minute Lorenzo Hayes has grabbed a mic!
Lorenzo Hayes - Don Michaels you'd better have been watching that because that is exactly what I have planned for you except a hell of a lot worse! I took it easy on Rocky Blonde because I have no grudge against him, but I do have one against you; so Don just imagine what I have planned for you!
Vic Canon - Poor Michaels!
Lorenzo Hayes - Now Don at Rock The Boat you got away from me, but you had to jump off of the Dynasty to do so! But tonight Don, one way or another I am going to find you and when I do I am going to beat you senseless! So Don you can be a man and come out and confront me, or you can make me come to the back and find you! It's up to you Don; I didn't think you were a puss until last Saturday at Rock The Boat, but tonight you can regain just a tiny bit of the respect you lost by coming out and being a man! So what's it going to be Don? Are you going to be a man? Or do I have to come and find you?
[ "My Way" blasts through the speakers as Don Michaels makes his way from the backstage area to the top of the entrance ramp. As usual, Don Michaels is wearing a metallic gold business suit with a matching tie. At his side are the four men known only as The Paparazzi. ]
Eddie Sensation - Don Michaels decided to show up!
The Informer - What an idiot! Don Michaels has a mic in his hand and is standing on top of the entrance ramp!
Lorenzo Hayes - Wow! I didn't think that you would actually show up Don! I thought that you would be a woman and stay hiding behind Jeanine! I thought that you were acting when you came out and became manly; man you had me fooled! I guess you are a good actor, but not as good as me!
Don Michaels - You're right Hayes, I'm not as good as you..... I'm better. But you should know that already, since I've embarrassed you again and again here in the EWA. In fact I've humiliated you for the last three pay-per-views haven't I? But Hayes, you wound me [sarcastically] deeply. First you slander my name to anyone who would listen to your incessant whining, and then you have the audacity to compare me to Rocky Blonde? ROCKY BLONDE?!?! An athlete who can't even sell candy bars??!?! For that Hayes, I should come down to the ring and beat the hell out of you. But I'm not going to do that Hayes, I've beaten on you enough here in the EWA, it's become so easy that I don't even feel like doing it anymore. So consider this you're lucky night, and quit your yapping while I still pity you.
Lorenzo Hayes - Pity me? How can you pity me? I'm ThE kInG oF gLiTz AnD gLaMoUr! I'm the man that has a front page picture on every magazine! I'm a true Hollywood heartthrob! How the hell can you pity me, It ain't pity Don it's jealousy.
Don Michaels - Jealousy?
Lorenzo Hayes - Did I say you could speak? Never interrupt greatness! And why do you sound so shocked when I say jealousy? Don face it man, you're past it! I'm the new and improved $uperstar! I'm the better looking of the two of us, I'm the better wrestler out of the two of us; and I can prove this RIGHT NOW RIGHT HERE!
Don Michaels - You really want a piece of me don't you?! Well don't stand around the ring like that; I've trained you to well for that. If you want a piece of me come on up here Hayes, and take a shot at greatness.
[ Michaels gives a hand signal to The Paparazzi and they head back stage. Michaels glares down at Hayes who slides out of the ring, and begins charging to. Michaels and Hayes' eyes are locked on each other as the unstoppable force rushes to meet the immovable object. Suddenly..... ]
Vic Canon - What was that noise?
The Informer - It sounded like grinding metal.
Vic Canon - My God the grating Hayes was standing on has just given way, with Hayes still on it!
Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Vic Canon - That's at least a six-foot drop onto solid concrete, Hayes could be seriously hurt!
Eddie Sensation - HAHA!!! That's what the Paparazzi were doing earlier, they were sabotaging the ramp! Don Michaels is a genius! HAHAHA!!!
Vic Canon - You're a sick man Eddie.
[ Michaels walks over to the edge of the collapses section of the ramp way and looks down on Hayes, who's writhing in agony of the hard, cold concrete floor below. ]
Don Michaels - Like I said earlier Hayes, I'm one step ahead of you, and I'll always be a step ahead of you.
[ Michaels reaches into his jacket pocket, and tosses a Rocky Blonde bar at Lorenzo Hayes. ]
Don Michaels - Better luck next time Hayes.
[ The camera zooms in on Lorenzo Hayes's face, which is in an amazing amount of agony. His eyes, which are in some sort of a psychedelic gaze, stare into the rafters of the arena. Lorenzo then slowly crawls out of the collapsed ramp way and heads towards the back. As he crawls away he seems to be murmuring something to himself. ]
Lorenzo Hayes - [In quiet tone of voice...] Nobody messes with greatness; nobody messes with Lorenzo Hayes. Don Michaels I will get you back, and when I do it will be your date with destiny!
The Informer - Well Don once again out smarted Lorenzo Hayes. But soon enough Lorenzo will get his hands on Michaels and when he does he'll have a lot planned for him!
[ The camera then goes to the car park to see Don Michaels and the paparazzi driving away in Don Michael's personal limousine... ]
Vic Canon - We'll be right back fans!
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
Interview with Ethan Tyler
[ The Delta Center is filled with fans anticipating the next match to happen on Tuesday Night Heat, but their anticipation can't set them up for what is about to happen..... The lights go dim and the video screen flickers to life until we see text on it. ]
I guess we've had our fun but it seems our fun is over now and that's alright it's all right. - All my Fault, Fenix TX. "Yep, we had our fun, and it's over now... At least the first part of it. I fooled you all, and it's time you see the "underground" for what it really is...... Get ready, because the underground gets EXPOSED in.......
5.......
[ The film countdown begins to melt ]
4........ 3.........
2.........
1........
[ The entire arena comes back into the light and out of nowhere, a couple of pyro bombs run through the arena and crash at the entrance, making a huge explosion..... "Rocket Science" by The Pimps blasts the P.A. system as out from the back steps Ethan Tyler, a very different man from the person we knew. He's decked out in jeans, black combat boots, a gray hooded sweatshirt with a TB patch on the back, and a stocking cap. He rubs his five o clock shadow, takes a swig of the Jack Daniels in his right hand. He walks into the middle of the aisleway and spits the JD right into the crowd. He takes another swig and throws the bottle out into the crowd. The fans show their hate by booing Tyler and throwing cups at him. A "You sold out" chant starts up as Tyler finally climbs into the ring and takes a mic out of his sweatshirt pocket. Over the boos he decides to address the crowd. ]
Ethan Tyler - And not a single one of you saw it coming.
[ Tyler smiles as his ears ring with boos ]
Ethan Tyler - You know, as I walked out here tonight, I noticed something different with you people. You boo'ed me, you called me a sell out, you threw your shit at me. Ha ha ha ha! And you think that bugs me? Now, by show of hands how many of you are wondering why I did what I did at the Pay Per View?
[ Numerous fans give Ethan the finger ]
Ethan Tyler - It's quite simple...... You see, the reason I endured so much shit over the past 3 months was simple..... One little word describes it all..... INITIATION. That's right, every little thing you saw since Breakdown was a set up, a ploy devised by Tom, Thrylla, Chandler, and Nomad. Wasn't it obvious something wasn't right? Didn't you notice how the Japanese folks booed me out of the arena when I arrived at Global Threat? Not because I was an American, but because they know me..... That's right, I spent time in Japan and I damn near killed anyone I stepped into the ring with. Of course they didn't want my ass there, so I came back to the states and low and behold who do I run into but my good friend Serial Thrylla.
[ Fans boo at the mere mention of Thrylla's name ]
Ethan Tyler - He offers me the chance to go big time in the EWA with a spot beside him and Chandler in the most elite stable in history. Of course since I was so new to the scene I had to be broken in..... Hence all the garbage I went through and all the garbage that kept you people on the edge of your seats week in and week out.
[ Fans go ballistic with boos as Tyler scoffs at them ]
Ethan Tyler - Come on, tell me you saw it coming... Do you think Stone would really keep a new guy employed for doing the things I did? Did you actually THINK that my opponent was sent out at Global Threat because he could beat me? Gee, weren't there rumors we were gonna CAN HIS ASS!? Of course, that's all said and done.... Perhaps it's time you people know who Ethan Tyler really is.....
Ethan Tyler - Ethan Tyler is a loyalist. He will stand up with his friends, and he will go down with his friends. I've never been afraid to interject myself into situations and do things that would make normal men sick to their stomach. You want to know why I clipped Diamante's knee earlier? Because I'm here to make things as easy as I can for Team Ballz... I do the dirty work, I am "The Facilitator"...... Yeah, yuck it up you pieces of shit! You won't be laughing when you see what the hell I'm all about... Talk is only half the battle.
Vic Canon - Ethan Tyler is a dog, no other way around it.
The Informer - Agreed, he makes me sick after what he did at Rock the Boat.
Ethan Tyler - Of course, 3D can only fight half the battle. You bunch of old timers are nothing but talk. Who cares what the hell you did! You're nothing now! Quit living on past glory and move up with the times... Team Ballz has never died, but the 3D is 6 feet under. Wh-
"Alright already… I think we get your point there, rookie." The Informer - What's going on??
[ Suddenly, "The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante appears on the EWA video wall… ]
Vic Canon - Nick Diamante is on the big screen! What does he want out of this??
Ethan Tyler - Hey old man, haven't you had enough?
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - Enough? Ha… come on kid, the fun is just starting here. Lighten up man! Looks to me like you've gone all sour and lost your smile. What's the deal?
Ethan Tyler - Maybe it's time you shut up and act like a good retiree, go play some golf and get out of here you piece of trash!
Eddie Sensation - WHAM! Low blow!
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - [Laughs] Hey, I tell ya what, Mr. Underground Herrrrrro. If you can convince me that even one of these fans even gave HALF-A-DAMN about your little tirade out here for the last 5 minutes, maybe I'll take off and go hit the greens.
Vic Canon - UH OH! This one's getting personal!
Ethan Tyler - Shut up......
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - Surely you can intimidate me a little more than that! Come on! You were really scary a few moments ago all decked up in your thug get-up, chugging down that Jack Daniels. Of course, you spit the stuff out before it even hit your tongue! See boy, that shows me how green you really are… oh, so wet behind the ears. I know me and my buddies can hold our alcohol. You should see the Deuce go on those six-packs of Old Milwaukee! And Marty… HA… he takes back that J-D like it's Iced-Tea!
Ethan Tyler - SHUT UP! 3D MEANS NOTHING! YOU MEAN NOTHING!
[ Tyler climbs up onto the middle rope looking out at Diamante on the video wall… ]
Ethan Tyler - THIS BUSINESS IS OVER BEFORE IT STARTS! I WANT YOUR ASS IN A MATCH TONIGHT! YOU AND ME! COME ON "STUD" SHOW ME WHAT YOU HAVE WINDBAG!
Eddie Sensation - Has Tyler flipped his lid!? Diamante can't step into an EWA ring! He was forced to retire at No Fear!
The Informer - That's the truth! But I heard Diamante has his lawyers working on the whole deal as we speak. Stone left the door open for Diamante to return whenever he wanted to!
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - Wellllll there, Ethan… young Ethan. As much as I'd love to teach you a thing or two about actually competing in the big leagues… something I KNOW you've got no experience with, it seems your buddy Tom Stone is trying to keep me out of the ring on a little stipulation from back in my last match. Now, if you wanna go back there and convince your boss to let me off my leash, I'd be more than welcome to be your first REAL opponent here in the Extreme Wrestling Association!
[ The fans cheer wildly… ]
Eddie Sensation - Sounds like a good deal to me!
Ethan Tyler - Don't think I forgot Nicky..... I sure as hell haven't, which is why this match will be non-sanctioned... No EWA regulations, no EWA promotion required, this match has nothing to do with the EWA.... It has to do with Team Ballz finally shutting your fat ass trap up.....
The Informer - ARE YOU SERIOUS! ETHAN TYLER IS DEMANDING A NON-SANCTIONED MATCH WITH "THE DIAMOND STUD" NICK DIAMANTE! RIGHT HERE, TONIGHT!?
Vic Canon - I can't believe it!
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - [Smirks] You're actually serious about this? You want me… one-on-one… tonight, in a Non-Sanctioned match. A "Street Fight", for lack of a better term.
Ethan Tyler - That's what I said!
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - Well then, I'll keep it real simple. Fans, how bad do you wanna see "The Diamond Stud" back in action tonight?
[ The fans absolutely explode! ]
The Informer - WOW! I take that as a yes!
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - There's your answer, buddy! I'll see ya in a few… and I suggest you bring along your boys, because Lord knows…. Diamante's not known for taking it easy on the new punks around this place!
[ The big screen fades out… ]
Ethan Tyler - Fine, see you later tonight pretty boy.....
Vic Canon - Ethan Tyler found a loophole! Diamante will wrestle again!
The Informer - But we don't have to promote it! This match doesn't even deal with us.
Eddie Sensation - Forget that Informer, are you going to not hype up the return of The Diamond Stud!? Diamante's got a smile on his face and Tyler is standing in the ring licking his chops like a hungry lion! We've got ourselves a fight scheduled for tonight boys!
Backstage... [ The camera cuts backstage and the same guy from earlier is on the floor with a bunch of tools picking apart the tiles and ripping them apart. ]
The Informer - Hey, look! He's vandalising the floor!
Voice - Hey! Yeah you asshole!
[ The camera turns over to the left a little bit and Jonathan Creed walks into the picture and startles the mysterious vandaliser. He grabs his shoulder and pulls him up turning him around. The crowd reacts to in the background popping. ]
Vic Canon - It's Madman! It's Madman! My God I never had a clue that he was the one doing all that whatever the hell he was doing!
Jonathan Creed - What the hell is your problem? What exactly are you tring to prove with taking the tiles up off the floor and busting pictures all over a hall floor? What kind of professionalism is that?
Madman - Take my advice before I change my mind, leave me alone and go piss on somebody else.
Jonathan Creed - I'm not going anywhere buddy. Not until you explain why you're ruining the term "professional."
Madman - Okay Jerky Boy... I thought I'd do something stupid, and keep doing it until I got somebody's attention... And finally I got yours. Happy? Now I'll stop or maybe go somewhere where you won't be and get on somebody else's case.
[ Jonathan pushes Madman into the wall and gets in his face. ]
Jonathan Creed - Do you realize what you're doing to this sport? What kind of justice you're trying to prove!? This isn't professional, and it's people like you that take the "sport" out of wrestling!
Madman - Gee thanks man. I'm flattered that you're calling me a professional and all that, but I'm not proving any justice. [Laughs hysterically] How the hell could I by spraying walls, and lighting tables on fire and busting pictures anyway? Why don't you stop pumping so much iron and go to school and put some education in your noggin, [Puts index finger on forehead and pushes] so you can make sense with what you're saying? I don't care if it's un-professional you big jackass. I unlike many of the guys like to have fun when I work! Now if you'll excuse me Rhino, I have something else to do somewhere and don't follow because you will get hurt...Mmmmm-kay?
[ He gathers his tools and walks off quickly chuckling to himself. ]
Jonathan Creed - You're a real piece of work, you know that!
Madman - Thank you! I appreciate the comment, and I try my best to please.
[ Cuts back to the stooge crew. ]
The Informer - He sure does have a big mouth.
Eddie Sensation - Not as bad as you... I'd rather listen to him preach all night than sit next to you for two hours evey week.
Pre-Match Interview with Divine Rob DiMarco - Right now I'm going to attempt to get an interview from Divine...as you can see I'm prepared and I've learned from past mistakes...
[ DiMarco lowers his pants to reveal metal underwear. Rob DiMarco knocks on Divine's locker room door then slowly enters. The lights are dimmed and "Private Emotion" by Ricky Martin is playing. Divine is laying on a large bed with nothing on but a pink speedo. Divine has a large white rose in his mouth and a horny look in his eyes. ]
Divine - Robbie!!! Come in!!! It's been sooooo long since I've had a male interviewer!!! I always get stuck with Rachel Stevens. As you can see....I'm ready for you Rob!!
Rob DiMarco - I just wanna know one thing and I'm gone Divine...what are your thoughts about being teamed with El Gigante against Ethan Storm and Christian Sein.
Divine - Who cares? As you can see I dont. I'm sick of the whole bunch of them and tonight I think I just might put an end to it by putting my meat in their ends!!! But Rob....could you do me just one favor before you go? I will never, EVER, bother you again...
Rob DiMarco - What is it?
Divine - Clap for me Rob...Clap for me...
[ Rob DiMarco claps and instantly the lights in the room go out. ]
Rob DiMarco - AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Divine - Thank God for the clapper!!
[ The camera fades... ]
Pre-Match Interview with Christian Sein [ Darkness. ]
Christian Sein - Do you really think I give a flyin [beep]!
[ Fade up. ]
[ Backstage. Men and women in business suits, wrestling gear, and various other wardrobes scurry about. The disorder is a regular part of Tuesday night Heat. A lot goes into making a wrestling show work and this... this is what mass confusion looks like. ]
[ Through the hoards of people, our camera focuses on the lithe frame of Christian Sein. The man who just recently made his appearance in EWA and in doing so, made his presence dramatically felt. Society X shocked the world and beat down some of the most hardcore men to ever grace the ring, and tonight, they plan to continue their reign of terror. ]
[ Christian is engulfed on a conversation. Standing in the corner and leaning against the wall, Christian holds the phone closely to his ear. A wry smile covers his face. He appears to be half pissed off, half amused. ]
Christian Sein - Tiki, you know me better than anybody. Do you really think it makes one iota of difference to me, how pissed off Gigante and Divine are about Ethan and I costing them their shot at the hardcore title?
Christian Sein - Because it really doesn't. As clichéd and hard-up as that may sound, I really couldn't care less. In fact, I'm glad.. because whether it be El Gigante and Divine or Chandler and Syrial Thriller, Society X isn't going to take a back seat to anyone from this point forward.
Christian Sein - EWA is ours man! We're the baddest mothas on the block, just like we've always been bro.
Christian Sein - You don't believe me?!?
Christian Sein - Well, how about Ethan and I make an example out of the big Mexican and the cross-dressing b*tch?!? Will you believe me then?!? Because man, I know it's been a long time, but if you remember anything at all about the way I play, you'll remember the fact that I don't play second fiddle to anyone.. ANYONE!
Christian Sein - Yeah, I know. It's all about timing, as the great Tiki Tortez has pointed out to me so many times. Just once, I wish you'd listen to me. We've got to make out own breaks!
Christian Sein - Prove it?!?
Christian Sein - Be sure you watch our match, then..
Christian Sein - Because you're going to see something you've never seen before.
Christian Sein - You're going to see the most hardcore mother f*cker on the planet, walk down the aisle in his first match in EWA and dismantle two veterans. Domination in its purist form.
Christian Sein - Ready or not, here we go..
[ Black. ]
Pre-Match Interview with El GiGante Rachel Stevens - I'm standing outside of El GiGante's dressing room. He should be here any minutes now.........
[ El GiGante and his bodyguard ZOOMER exit the dressing room and bump into Rachel. ]
El GiGante - Ooo la la. Rachel girl you look great tonight.
Rachel Stevens - Why thank you but could we please get this pre-match interview done. Because every week we go through the same thing.
El GiGante - Yes because every week chica you look stunning. I think you should come down to my hotel room tonight. Its the Marriot chica and room number is 276.
Rachel Stevens - Ewww. Mr. GiGante could we stop this non-sense. You know I have a husband. So lets get this interview done with and we'll both be on our way. Plus you have a very tough match tonight I might add Mr. GiGante.
El GiGante - No I don't chica. Christian Sein and Ethan Storm ain't nothing but s*it esa.
Rachel Stevens - All right, thats a start. What do you think of the newly formed stable, Society X?
El GiGante - Society X ain't nothing but a bunch of pussy's esa. El GiGante could take them all out. Sein and Storm are gonna be totally annihilated tonight meng. I'm gonna get my revenge on those punks meng because they screwed me out of the extreme title and tonight I screw them out of their career.
Rachel Stevens - Do you agree with what Mr. Tortez has to say about the extreme division, that is should or will be at the top of the league like the World title scenario?
El GiGante - Yes and that is the only thing that I will ever agree on with Tortez. That esa is right, the extreme division should be more popular and should get more respect like the Heavyweight division but it doesn't. Sooner or later meng I bet you the extreme division will be at the top.
Rachel Stevens - Do you have any last words for Sein, and Storm before going into this match up?
El GiGante - Sein, Storm just remember that when you F*CK with GiGante you f*ck with DEATH! And last Saturday mengs you f*cked with GiGante so tonight you shall feel DEATH! Now how bout ya bank on that one boyssssss!
[ Just as the camera is about to fade out, Kurt Poser is seen approaching El GiGante. But, the camera fades out before we can see what happens... ]
Tag Team Match
Ethan Storm & Christian Sein vs. Divine & El GiGanteThe Informer - What the hell? Kurt Poser just approached El GiGante... do you think something is going on backstage?
Vic Canon - I doubt it... for 2 reasons.... 1, we would have a camera showing it if anything happened... and 2, Poser is probably just "warning" everyone of Tom Stone... since he hates Stone...
Eddie Sensation - Yeah... Poser claims that Stone is holding down all the newcomers...
The Informer - True... very true... good thinking Vic!
Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Tag Team Match!
[ "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - First... standing 6'8" and weighing in at 325 pounds, from Candy Land, Divine!
[ Divine steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
[ "Rap Superstar" by Cypress Hill blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And his partner... accompanied to the ring by Zoomer, standing 5'10" and weighing in at 175 pounds, from Brooklyn, New York, El GiGante!
[ Zoomer and El GiGante step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring. ]
[ "Pollution" by Limp Bizkit blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And their opponents... representing Society X... Ethan Storm and Christian Sein!
[ Ethan Storm and Christian Sein step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring. ]
Vic Canon - Look out! All four men are in the ring! We have a brawl on our hands!
Eddie Sensation - Divine and Christian Sein are on the outside... and GiGante is in the ring with Ethan Storm! The ref doesnt seem to be paying any attention to Divine and Sein.... I guess GiGante and Storm are the legal men!
The Informer - OOH!!! CHRISTIAN SEIN JUST WHIPPED DIVINE INTO THE RING POLE!!! DIVINE WENT STRAIGHT DOWN, AND LOOKS TO BE STAYING THERE FOR A WHILE!
Vic Canon - Ha! GiGante throws Storm to the ropes... Storm bounces back... GiGante kicks him in the gut and hooks him.... BRIANBUSTER!
Eddie Sensation - And Christian Sein is laying the boots to Divine on the outside!
The Informer - GiGante has Ethan Storm on his feet again... he sets him up.... WHAM!!!! OH MY GOD!!!! WHAT A MOVE!!! JUMPING PILEDRIVER!!! ETHAN STORM MUST BE OUT COLD!!!
Vic Canon - El GiGante goes for the pin! The ref counts... 1..... 2..... No! Christian Sein slid into the ring and broke the count! GiGante gets to his feet, and clotheslines Sein over the top rope!
Eddie Sensation - Divine is slowly getting to his feet! Sein better get up, quick!
The Informer - GiGante lifts Storm to his feet again... he throws him to the ropes! Ethan Storm ducks a clothesline attempt by GiGante... GiGante turns around, Storm bounces off the ropes.... HURACONRANNA BY GIGANTE! HE NAILED HIM WITH IT!! AND NOW HE'S GOING FOR THE COVER!
Vic Canon - The ref is in position! 1..... 2...... Oh! No! Storm got his shoulder up just in time!
Eddie Sensation - But GiGante gets back up to his feet, right away!
The Informer - He looks determined to win this match!
Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!!! DIVINE CLOTHESLINES SEIN OVER THE GUARD RAIL!!! NO, WAIT! SEIN REVERSED IT, AND BACK BODY DROPPED DIVINE INTO THE CROWD!
Eddie Sensation - HA!! LOOK AT ALL THE GUYS RUN AWAY FROM DIVINE!!!
The Informer - GiGante grabs Storm.... WHAM! JUMPING DDT!!!! And now GiGante is up, calling for the end! Total Annihilation is on its way!!!
Vic Canon - Look! Christian Sein is grabbing a steel chair, and he's sliding it into the corner of the ring!
Eddie Sensation - GiGante grabs Storm.... he runs to the corner with him!
The Informer - WHAM!! OH MAN!!! CHRISTIAN SEIN NAILED GIGANTE WITH A CLOTHESLINE!
Vic Canon - GiGante ran right into it! And now Storm is up, and in control of the match!
Eddie Sensation - Hey, look!! Christian Sein is distracting the ref! And Ethan Storm just pulled that steel chair into the middle of the ring!!
The Informer - GiGante is up! He stumbles towards Storm... Storm scoops him up!
Vic Canon - WHAM!!!! OH MAN!!!!! THERE'S THAT MOVE AGAIN! THATS THE SAME MOVE THAT PUT DIVINE OUT AT ROCK THE BOAT!
Eddie Sensation - And he just nailed him with it, ON A CHAIR!
The Informer - WILL IT BE ENOUGH??? Christian Sein turns the refs attention to the pinfall... and the ref counts! 1...... 2...... 3!!!!!
Chris Myers - And the winners of this match... Christian Sein and Ethan Storm!
Vic Canon - Oh man! Society X picks up another win over El GiGante and Divine!
Eddie Sensation - Speaking of Divine.... he's gone! I didnt even see him leave! But he's not in the same spot he was 5 minutes ago, when Sein back body dropped him into the crowd!
The Informer - And now look! Tiki Tortez is making his way to the ring! This is bad news for El GiGante... ALL of Society X is at ringside!
Vic Canon - Look guys! They're surrounding the ring! And El GiGante is just getting to his feet now.... he doesnt realize who's surrounding him!
Eddie Sensation - HA! NOW HE DOES! GiGante now see's ALL of Society X around him! He doesnt know what to do!
The Informer - And Society X are slowly closing in on him!
Vic Canon - WAIT A MINUTE! LOOK OUT!!! WHO IS THAT??!!
Eddie Sensation - I DONT KNOW! BUT HE'S GOT A STEEL CHAIR!!
The Informer - THATS TYRANT!!!! TYRANT IS RUNNING TOWARDS THE RING AT FULL SPEED, WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!!
Vic Canon - WHAM!!!! TYRANT JUST NAILED ETHAN STORM WITH THAT STEEL CHAIR!!! BUT CHRISTIAN SEIN AND TIKI TORTEZ ARE NOW IN THE RING, AND THEY'RE BEATING ON GIGANTE!!!
Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT! TYRANT IS IN THE RING!!! ....WHAM!!!! HE NAILS SEIN WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!!!!!
The Informer - Tiki Tortez just realized that his two guys just got nailed with steel chairs! He's getting the hell out of the ring!!!
Vic Canon - But this TyranT guy... are him and El GiGante an alliance??
Eddie Sensation - We're about to find out! GiGante is getting to his feet!
The Informer - And these two are staring at each other! TyranT still has that steel chair in one hand!!
Vic Canon - GiGante approaches TyranT, and looks into the crowd for some help! And the fans cheer like crazy!
Eddie Sensation - WHAM!!!!!! HAHA!!! THEY WONT BE CHEERING NOW!!! TYRANT JUST NAILED GIGANTE WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!!!!!!
The Informer - OH MY GOD!!!! WHAT A SHOT TO THE HEAD!!! GIGANTE IS DOWN!!!!! AND TYRANT IS TAKING OFF, THROUGH THE CROWD, BEFORE ZOOMER CAN GET HIS HANDS ON HIM!!!
Vic Canon - WHAT A SETUP!!! TYRANT GOT GIGANTE WHEN HE WAS LEAST EXPECTING IT!!!!
Eddie Sensation - HA! And thats the BEST way to do it!
The Informer - We'll be right back! Dont go anywhere!
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
Earlier Today... [ A video clip is shown of earlier today, outside the main EWA gym. Moral is seen getting into his car. He pops the keys in his car, but it wont start. He tries it several times, and even waits 5 minutes. But, still, it wont start. He gets out of the car, and opens the hood. He see's a note, which is stuck to the inside of the hood. It reads "Time is valuable...Your time is running out!" ]
Backstage... [ Moral is now seen walking towards his locker room. Once he approaches the door, he see's a note on the door... it reads "The countdown continues...". Moral rips the note off, crumples it into a ball and throws it. He opens his locker room door, and the lights are off. Someone or something pulls him in, and the door slams shut. We can only see black. But when the lights turn back on, a few seconds later, Moral is seen out cold on the floor with a puddle of blood around his head. As the camera pans to the left, the words "YOUR TIME IS UP!" are seen, written in blood on the wall. The camera fades out.... ]
Pre-Match Interview with Vinny D Rob DiMarco - Outlaw, tonight you take on Arthryn in a match for the North American Title, what are your thoughts on this match??
"The Original Outlaw" Vinny D - My thoughts Rob, are this, Arthryn, you been playing the run and hide game, and now, it's comin to an end. Tonight, you're steppin in the ring with me one on one. I know you cherish the NA title, but I truly don't give a fuck if you do or not, I'm looking to put that gold around my waist, and I don't care what I have to do to take it from you, because there is nothing to great to stop me. Arthryn, I hope you're prepared, cause you're in for one hell of a ride tonight kid........
Rob DiMarco - Now, Vinny D how abo.......
"The Original Outlaw" Vinny D - SHUT UP!!! I got a title to win!!!
EWA North American Title Match
Arthryn vs. "The Original Outlaw" Vinny DChris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the EWA North American Championship!
[ "The Outlaw Torn" by Metallica blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'7" and weighing in at 287 pounds, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, "The Original Outlaw" Vinny D!
[ "The Original Outlaw" Vinny D steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
[ "Hangman Jury" by Aerosmith blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'10" and weighing in at 312 pounds, from San Juan, Puerto Rico, the EWA North American Champion, Arthryn!
[ The EWA North American Champion, Arthryn steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - This is the first time we've seen Arthryn since the Pay Per View... where he took a HUGE bump!
Vic Canon - Yeah... that 20 to 30 feet drop onto a hot dog stand cant feel TOO good!
Eddie Sensation - Ha! I heard his back is shattered... and that it's all black and blue and stuff.... yuck!
The Informer - Well obviously... Eddie, you've been in the business long enough... you know how ugly it could get...
Eddie Sensation - Yeah yeah...
Vic Canon - Well, Arthryn is going to be at one hell of a disadvantage tonight! That back of his is in BAD shape!
Eddie Sensation - Yeah.. its in more than one shape, thats for sure!
The Informer - And there's the bell!! Arthryn is limping very obviously... you can tell that he's in a lot of pain...
Vic Canon - If Vince is smart, he'll work on that back! He has a pretty damn good chance of winning this title tonight!
Eddie Sensation - They lock up! Vince pushes Arthryn back into the corner! DAMN! Vince is showing lots of power! He shoved him back pretty easily!
The Informer - You idiot! How many times do we have to say that his back is hurt?? Arthryn is trying to keep as much pressure off his back as possible!
Vic Canon - Vince SHOVES Arthryn into the corner! And Arthryn's face says it all! His back is in BAD shape!
Eddie Sensation - The ref is asking for a break... and he gets one! They meet in the center of the ring... and lock up again!
The Informer - No! Vince uses his momentum to give Arthryn a hip toss! Arthryn lands on his back, and stays down!
Vic Canon - Vince seems to be surprised that Arthryn is still down.... so he goes for the cover! The ref counts... 1.... 2.... No! Arthryn kicks out just in time.
Eddie Sensation - Damn! Arthryn even struggled to kick out!!
The Informer - Vince lifts Arthryn to his feet... he sets him up.... WHAM! SIDEWALK SLAM! Arthryn landed on his back, yet again!
Vic Canon - The Original Outlaw goes for the cover... the ref counts, 1... 2... No! Arthryn gets his foot on the bottom rope.
Eddie Sensation - Vince picks up Arthryn, and drags him into the middle of the ring... He sets up Arthryn, and grabs him! Uh oh! BEAR HUG!
The Informer - This isnt good for Arthryn... at all! This move works great for applying pressure on the back! And thats exactly what Vince wants!
Vic Canon - Arthryn is trying to pull Vince's hair, but the ref is threatening to disqualify Arthryn if he does it again!
Eddie Sensation - And now Arthryn goes for the eyes of Vince! But once again, the referee breaks the hold and reminds him that disqualifications DO count!
The Informer - Vince tights his hold! And Arthryn winces in pain! Now Arthryn is pulling and twisting Vince's ears, as hard as he can!!!
Vic Canon - And ONCE AGAIN, the referee reminds Arthryn of that golden rule!
Eddie Sensation - FINALLY, Vince drops Arthryn to the mat! But The Original Outlaw quickly grabs Arthryn's legs, and applies a Boston Crab!
The Informer - Uh oh! This could be all for Arthryn! Now he cant grab at any of Vince's limbs... he has nowhere to go!!
Vic Canon - Vince sits back, and applies more pressure!!! Arthryn is trying to crawl towards that bottom rope! It isn't too far.... he only has a quarter of the ring to cover!
Eddie Sensation - But he has to drag his weight, AND Vince's! All while having a bad back? I doubt he'll do it!
The Informer - Arthryn moves forward an inch or two... and the referee asks him if he wants to give up! But Arthryn says no!
Vic Canon - Vince pulls back EVEN HARDER! Arthryn yells out in pain, and uses ALL his power to thrust himself forwards!
Eddie Sensation - AND HE'S GOT IT! Arthryn has a hold of the bottom rope!!!
The Informer - And Vinny D is forced to release the hold! Arthryn rolls around on the mat in pain! I dont know how much more of this he can take!
Vic Canon - Not much! And "The Original Outlaw" Vinny D knows that! He lifts Arthryn to his feet.... Oh! Arthryn with some desperation punches to the stomach! But Vince knee's him in the head twice, and lifts him up to his feet!
Eddie Sensation - Vinny D throws Arthryn to the ropes... he lifts him... GORILLA PRESS SLAM!!
The Informer - NO!!! WHAM!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!
Vic Canon - GOD DAMN!!!!! WHAT A MOVE!!!!! VINCE JUST DROPPED ARTHRYN FROM THE GORILLA PRESS SLAM, RIGHT INTO A SPINE BUSTER!!!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - HA!!! THAT WAS GREAT!!! Do you know how much that affected Arthryn's back?!
The Informer - That could be it Eddie! All Vince has to do is go for the cover!
Vic Canon - And he does! The ref counts.... 1..... 2........ THHHHH--NO!! NO!!! Arthryn kicks out!
Eddie Sensation - Damn! This guy has a lot of heart!
The Informer - Vince looks more shocked then any of us! Now he's lifting Arthryn to his feet.... and..... whats he doing?
Vic Canon - It looks like he's setting up Arthryn on the top rope! But what the hell for? I've never seen Vince use the top rope for a move!
Eddie Sensation - Neither have I! This is like the third match I've ever seen him in! HAHA!!!
The Informer - Well, we've seen many more... Vince climbs up to the top rope, and sets up Arthryn in a Fisherman's Suplex!! Vince signals to the crowd, and heaves him!
Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!!!!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - WHAM!!!!!!!!!
The Informer - BARELY LEGAL!!! BARELY LEGAL!!! BARELY LEGAL OFF THE TOP ROPE!!!! I CANT BELEIVE I JUST SAW THAT!!!!!
Vic Canon - THAT'S GOTTA BE ALL!!!!!! VINCE GOES FOR THE COVER.... THE REF COUNTS..... 1....... 2....... 3!!!!!!!
Chris Myers - The winner of this match... and NEW EWA North American Champion, "The Original Outlaw" Vinny D!!
Eddie Sensation - GOD DAMN! VINCE DID IT!!!
The Informer - Well what did you expect?! Arthryn can barely walk! And he just got nailed with Barely Legal... OFF THE TOP ROPE!!!
Vic Canon - Exactly... but Arthryn DID put up a great fight! I mean, with a bad back, he managed to kick out of most of Vinny D's big moves!
Eddie Sensation - Except Barely Legal! And thats the one that counted!
The Informer - Right.... well, Vince is out of here, off to celebrate on his FIRST and NEWEST Title win! He is the NEW EWA North American Champion!
Vic Canon - And here come paramedics to tend to Arthryn.... I think he'll be spending the next few weeks in the hospital...
Backstage... [ Tom Stone, the CEO of the EWA, hears a knock on his door. Being the polite man that he is, he says, "Come in," and in comes Jonathan Creed, with eyes burning with rage and frusration. ]
Tom Stone - Is there something I can help you with Mr. Creed?
Jonathan Creed - You're damn right there's something you can help me with!! You ARE the guy that runs this place, aren't you? That retard Madman is a little vandal. He's destroying your floors, Stone! The floors that you've worked hard to keep clean, he's out there shitting on them!! He's giving the EWA a bad name for Christ's sake!! He's been doing this shit for how long now? And no one knew who he was until now, after I showed everyone who he really is. After you gave him a break and let him be on the EWA's roster, he's showing his appreciation by vandalizing the greatest professional wrestling federation ever created.
Tom Stone - Well, thanks for saying so Creed, but I'm sure that the EWA Security Team will get right on it and take care of our friend Madman. Now, if you'll excuse me, I am a very busy man.
Jonathan Creed - FUCK THAT STONE!!! I'm better than that, I'm better than your shitty, fat security team, and I'm better than that little punk out there singing some stupid song. Singing badly, I might add. I'll save you the trouble of calling your underpaid security team by taking Madman out myself, tonight.
[ Tom Stone, being a very important, busy man, sees that being polite won't work with this inraged gorilla. His patience is wearing thin, and he doesn't feel like fucking with the new guy. ]
Tom Stone - Look Creed, as I said, I'm a VERY busy man, and we have ways of dealing with people like Madman. You're not ready to take him on tonight, and besides, there's just no room for you on tonight's show. It's too full as it is. Call me this time next week and I'll---
Jonathan Creed - I DON'T THINK YOU'RE LISTENING, STONE!!! There's nothing that pisses me off more than someone who won't listen to reason. I didn't spend a lifetime training, fighting, and conditioning, just to make it here, and not get the chance to show what I can do. I'm a big man, Stone, and you know where big men get to go? WHERE EVER THEY DAMN WELL PLEASE!!
[ Stone doesn't believe that this guy has the balls to get in the face of the man that let him in.....but he likes that in his talent. Stone smiles and nods ]
Tom Stone - Alright Creed. You want Madman tonight? Then you can have Madman tonight on Heat. One Fall Match. Jonathan Creed VS. Madman. Let's see what you can do, rookie.
[ Creed nods and leaves Stone's office after slamming his door shut. Stone just sits and has a deviant, little smile on his deviant, little face. ]
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
Suddenly... [ Blackout ]
10....... 9........
7........
[ What happened to Eight? ]
[ Oh.. sorry bout that. ]
8........ 7........
6........
5........
4........
3........
2........
[ The count stops for a moment ]
"What'll we get for ten dollars?
Every 'ting you want
Everything?
Every'ting
Ooh! Don't do that, baby! Ahh!
Hold on this! Oh, sock it to me! Aaahh!
Ooohh!"The Informer - What the fuck is this?
Eddie Sensation - It's Me so horny.
Vic Canon - don't say your so horny on the air again.
Eddie Sensation - That's the name of the song.
"Ahh! Me so horny!
Me love you long time!"[ As "Me so horny" plays, Mr. Wrestling VII walks out with a cane. Right behind him with 6 women is CRISQO~!. Crisqo and his manager get to the ring. Mr. Wrestling VII gets the ring mic from Chris Myers. ]
"Mr. Wrestling VII" Adam Thurgood - First things first.. Chris Myers. You give me the mic when I want the mic.
[ We hear boos and the theme music end ]
"Mr. Wrestling VII" Adam Thurgood - Now.. Crisqo is with all of these women as a part of old Mormon belief. Crisqo has married all of them. I'm sure that if Brigham Young didn't have such a talentless great-great grandson of a quarterback, he wouldn't be rolling in his grave. In addition to the mass marriage, I am proud to announce that Crisqo and Marie Osmond will be having their 56th child together.
The Informer - That Crisqo sure is a sex machine.
Vic Canon - Yeah.. that is a bunch of bullshit.
Eddie Sensation - Marie Osmond has had alot of kids, it's her fault.
"Mr. Wrestling VII" Adam Thurgood - Now.. some people like Eddie Sensation get sensations in their pants when Crisqo comes out. I hope that no male ever gets that sensation because I just ate.
Eddie Sensation - Hey!
Vic Canon - calm down there tiger..
"Mr. Wrestling VII" Adam Thurgood - a long time ago at the PPV, Crisqo crushed four legends. Tonight.. he will crush a legend of boxing.
The Informer - A Boxer???
"Mr. Wrestling VII" Adam Thurgood - I have went though the ranks to find someone who can fight and I think I found him. This man is a Hurricane.. This man was a former opponent of Mike Tyson and undoubtably the man that took Mike Tyson to the limit, I introduce to you, PETER MCNEELEY!
Vic Canon - Peter McNeeley? WHAT?
Eddie Sensation - Peter McNeeley has 47 wins and 5 losses in his career..
Vic Canon - It doesn't change the fact that he's a joke.
"Mr. Wrestling VII" Adam Thurgood - Now.. let me read off the weights from the weigh-in of our two fighters tonight.
[ Thurgood gets some cards. ]
"Mr. Wrestling VII" Adam Thurgood - Hurricane Peter McNeeley weighs in at 220 pounds and is from Boston. Mr. McNeeley, how does it feel like to be from a town that can't win a sports game to save their life?
Peter McNeeley - I don't feel like being baited tonight.
"Mr. Wrestling VII" Adam Thurgood - If you got baited, I'm sure Tyson would have bit your ears off. Tyson just beat your ass.
Peter McNeeley - I was ready to fight..
"Mr. Wrestling VII" Adam Thurgood - Oh yeah, you're Irish. How many drinks did you down when you agreed to fight Tyson?
Peter McNeeley - I'm not a drunk.
"Mr. Wrestling VII" Adam Thurgood - You just get beaten like a bitch by Butterbean. The last time Butterbean made something into his bitch so fast was when he was locked in a room with a chocolate cake.
Peter McNeeley - how bout you just get on with this?
"Mr. Wrestling VII" Adam Thurgood - Oooooooh... he sounds serious, I better avoid his Cocoon of Horror! Irish Peter McNeeley and Lucky the Leprachun are coming to get me and they're wasted.
Peter McNeeley - For the last time, The Irish aren't drunks.
"Mr. Wrestling VII" Adam Thurgood - I smell that brewski on the breath...
Peter McNeeley - For the last fucking time...
"Mr. Wrestling VII" Adam Thurgood - okay Drunkie.. Smokin' Crisqo weighs in at 552 pounds and he hails from Baltimore.
The Informer - Isn't Baltimore the STD capital of the US?
Vic Canon - like I know..
Eddie Sensation - Thurgood has left the ring, he handed a paper to Chris Myers and he's on his way here.
"Mr. Wrestling VII" Adam Thurgood - I haven't smelled beer breath like that since I hosted a AA meeting.
Vic Canon - Nice to see you stereotyping the Irish as drunks.
"Mr. Wrestling VII" Adam Thurgood - Christ.. McNeeley is plastered.
Chris Myers - The rules of this bout are that this is a boxing match. When you knock your opponent down, you have to get your talentless Irish ass to the neutral corner. The Three Knockdown rule is not in effect and under Utah Boxing Commission rules, Polygamy is legal.
"Mr. Wrestling VII" Adam Thurgood - I'd give the polygamy edge to Crisqo and the incest edge to McNeeley.
Vic Canon - You've done nothing but rag on this guy..
"Mr. Wrestling VII" Adam Thurgood - I could have been a real prick and required that McNeeley pass a breathilizer.
Boxing Match
Crisqo vs. "Hurricane" Peter McNeeleyThe Informer - McNeeley is charging into to punch Crisqo.
"Mr. Wrestling VII" Adam Thurgood - McNeeley better get a win before he gets sick and vomits on himself.
Eddie Sensation - McNeeley is leveling Crisqo in the corner.
"Mr. Wrestling VII" Adam Thurgood - oh crap...
Vic Canon - Peter McNeeley is kicking Crisqo's ass here
The Informer - Only in the EWA!
"Mr. Wrestling VII" Adam Thurgood - this can't be happening..
Vic Canon - Thurgood has left our booth and he's heading towards the ring.
Eddie Sensation - OH PLEASE! He just took the ref out..
The Informer - Ref bump in a boxing match!
Vic Canon - Thurgood has a beer bottle.
KRASH!* Vic Canon - and it's smashed over McNeeley's head!
Eddie Sensation - He's keeping McNeeley up on the ropes here and he's back with us.
"Mr. Wrestling VII" Adam Thurgood - looks like McNeeley's alcohol problem caught up with him.
Vic Canon - The Ref and Crisqo are back up.. Crisqo hits McNeeley with a soft right hand and McNeeley goes down.
"Mr. Wrestling VII" Adam Thurgood - I haven't seen a Irishman fall like that since St. Patrick's Day in a pub.
Eddie Sensation - The Ref's count is up to 5.. 6.. 7... 8... 9... and 10
"Mr. Wrestling VII" Adam Thurgood - CRISQO WINS! WHAT A KNOCKOUT PUNCH! Crisqo has knocked out Peter McNeeley!
The Informer - Crisqo really does have a great boxing style.
Eddie Sensation - While Thurgood and Crisqo leave, lets do something else.
One Fall Match
Jonathan Creed vs. MadmanVic Canon - We were suposed to send you backstage for a Pre-Match Interview with Madman, but he's refusing to do it. And Jonathan Creed, Wildman's former wrestling trainer, is already out in the ring with a microphone in his hand....
[ The crowd makes no reaction towards him. ]
Jonathan Creed - I know you all saw that goof's attacks last week. I know you saw them tonight. What do you people call that nonsense? Is that a true meaning of Anarchy or what? I mean what kind of wrestler would vandalize expensive equipment for the hell of it? I do not aprove of it, and it sickens me that a bunch of screwed up new-aged wrestling fans like all you people out here in Salt Lake City, Utah get such a kick out of it! What's wrong with you people!?
The Informer - It looks as if the fans have given a sour reaction towards Creed.
[ They begin to boo and curse at him. We all know what side he's on now. ]
"I'll tell you what's wrong with them." [ Out from behind the curtain steps Madman in his old wrestling attire, and a duffel bag in hand. ]
Vic Canon - Listen to this crowd! When did Madman get so big?
Madman - They like blood, sweat and tears. They like foul mouth sons of bitches like myself, making an ass out of myself and not giving a damn. They like hot catch phrases to get us over, and they like interacting with an Extreme sport.
[ The crowd grows on his side and let him know it, chanting "Gilly-boy, Gilly-boy"... ]
Madman - Yep. That's right... Gilly-Boy's back for good. To get back to what I was saying, to help your big stupid greasy vein filled ass understand, it's little things like THESE [Pulls out T-Shirts... old shirts, with blood and sweat on them] that the fans around the world...and... Salt Lake City, Utah...
[ Pop from the crowd... ]
Madman - ...like to see! They have a fetish with violent wrestling, hopping over guards and rebeling against the rules. The like people telling their boss to kiss their ass because they can't. They need heroes and that's what we are! You, on the other hand have a fetish with basic back to the standards wrestling. You want to see a crowd consisting of forty plus people on a leveled ground surrounding a ring with full "stiffness" to it with two blad fat guys in tights and ear pads on rolling around trying to see who can give who a stiffy first. You like the smell of sweat under your nostrils, you like having your opponents stinky shaven balls hanging in front of your face while you hold his hands under his waist and looks like you're doing a dog style fucking demonstration. You like slapping sweat with your partner. Hell, I think you'd like to meet Divine.
[ The crowd laughs ]
Madman - But you see, I obviously completed my first objective of the night. And that is, pissing somebody off to the point where they have to have a match against me. My second objective, is to make you eat your own words like the gay little porno puppet that you are.
The Informer - The ref is ringing for the bell and here we go! Madman just ran into the ring to get met first hand with boots by Creed.
Vic Canon - They're not having any affect on him! Madman Irish Whips Creed to the ropes and... Wham! A SPINEBUSTER!! He goes for the cover.... 1... and Creed kicks out!
Eddie Sensation - I don't really understand why Creed's got a problem with Madman. I mean I've seen much much worse.
The Informer - Good point Eddie, maybe Mad's just a little too childish.
Vic Canon - ....OOOH!! Creed with a huge body slam on Madman! He goes for the ankle, but gets kicked right in the chest! Creed goes flying into the corner!
Eddie Sensation - Good defense by Madman
The Informer - Madman struggling to get up... and when he does, he gets DROP KICKED right in the chest by Creed!
Vic Canon - Damn, that must have hurt!
Eddie Sensation - Haha! Look at Madman wincing in pain! What a phony!
The Informer - He looks hurt. Hey, What's Creed doing?
Vic Canon - I don't know but so far he's dominating the match.
Eddie Sensation - Creed is climbing the turnbuckle! But Madman is getting to his feet! ....TURN AROUND!!! TURN AROUND!!!
The Informer - WHAM!!!!! BULLDOG OFF THE TOP ROPE BY THE NEAR SEVEN FOOTER, JONATHAN CREED!!!
Vic Canon - He should go for a cover... and he does! 1.... 2.... no! Madman just barely kicked outta that one! You know, with Creed being Wildman's trainer and all, wouldn't you think that he'd be here to sort of get revenge for Wildman?
Eddie Sensation - I don't even know where Wildman went, let alone care.
The Informer - Creed hooks Madman into a submission manuever.... An ankle lock submission!
Eddie Sensation - TAP OUT! TAP OUT! TAP OUT!! GIVE UP YOU PHONY!!!
Vic Canon and The Informer - SHUT UP!!!
Eddie Sensation - What!? I'm broadcasting the match!
The Informer - The crowd's getting into this match, but I don't think it's affecting either of these two athletes.
Vic Canon - Madman's fighting to keep in this match. He struggling to get near the rope. Look at Creed's face!! He's really trying to break his foot in half!!
Eddie Sensation - I hope he does!!
The Informer - Madman still fighting... and progressing... just a litte bit.
[ Crowd begins to chant "Gilly-Boy, Gilly-Boy!" ]
Vic Canon - Just a little more! ....No! Creed releases the hold!
Eddie Sensation - Look at his fore-arms! Look at all the veins popping out! I think its time for some drug tests in the EWA!
The Informer - That not steroids... that's what it looks like when every muscle is used to the maximum!
Vic Canon - Well it wasn't enought to make Madman quit, but he sure did put a hurting on him. Madman outside the ring limping, and using the canvas as a crutch.
Eddie Sensation - OH no you don't! DON'T COME OVER HERE!!
The Informer - I don't think the ref is going to let him finish this match! He's talking to Madman.... LOOK OUT!!! OOOH!!! CREED JUST LEAPED OVER THE REF AND LANDED ONTOP OF MADMAN!!! WHAT A MOVE!!
Vic Canon - The ref didnt even see him coming! He's lucky Creed didnt take him down with him!
Eddie Sensation - And now they're both out cold here infront of us...
The Informer - And thats not good... not good at all! You know how bad it gets when they start fighting on the outside!
Vic Canon - I hear what you're saying. Pack that box of donuts up and move it somewhere safe!
Eddie Sensation - You and those donuts! You deserve to be a fat, pimply faced garbage man making $6.50 an hour!! You dont deserve this job!
The Informer - Creed just kicked Madman's head into the bottom of our table and knocked his head through it!!
Vic Canon - I CAN SEE HIM!! Watch out or he'll bite your ankles off!
Eddie Sensation - I'm moving.
[ Eddie Sensation takes off his head-set and runs into the other end of the ring. ]
The Informer - What a baby. Why isn't the ref counting these guys out? Creed just spent the last fifteen minutes breaking his ankle, and then squashed him like a bug, and now busted his forehead!
Vic Canon - Well I guess it was a wake up call because Madman just pulled himself out of the hole and slid back into the ring really quickly
The Informer - He looks pissed. Look at him taunting Creed!
Vic Canon - I guess his adrenaline is really pumping, even with the blood quickly covering his face!
The Informer - Here comes Creed... LOOK OUT! OH! Madman just suplexed Creed over the ropes, and into the ring! And he too falls down again with that torn ankle of his!
Eddie Sensation - Okay.... I'm back now guys. Christ, look at that hole there. I told you it wasn't safe when they came out here!
The Informer - Look at the blood everywhere... Madman is bleeding badly. He must be cut deep, or have a gash on his forehead as long as an unsharpened pencil.
Vic Canon - Look out! Creed has a hold of his ankle again! And he's SLAMMING Madman's head into the canvas!!! MADMAN LOOKS LIKE A RAG DOLL BEING DUSTED.... OR SOMETHING!
Eddie Sensation - A what? Huh? What the hell are you saying Canon?
Vic Canon - Shut up! Bottom line, he's getting his ass kicked!!!
The Informer - And there's no ropes to hold onto! I'm sure he doesn't have the strength to pull himself over there either... He might as well just give up and tap out!
Vic Canon - HE IS!!! HE IS!!! "THE MAN OF NO SUBMISSION" HAS JUST SUBMITTED!!! MADMAN TAPPED!!!!
Chris Myers - And the winner of this match... Jonathan Creed!
Eddie Sensation - Wait, Madman's fighting to stand on his two feet! Creed's getting up, and....
The Informer - WHAM! MADMAN JUST SLAMMED CREED WITH THE EDGECRUSHER!!! THE FANS ARE GOING NUTS!!
Vic Canon - And now he's asking for a mic!! How the hell can he just give up a match and already walk around, even though badly limping??
Eddie Sensation - Two words...Testicular fortitude.
The Informer - I'll go along with that.
Vic Canon - I wont!
Madman - Creed... Are you happy now? You've beaten me. You've take away my "Man Of No Submission" slogan. You've ........ UN- professionally defeated me.
Vic Canon - What the hell is he talking about? That was all wrestling skill right there. Both Arial, and technical.
Madman - If it's so "professional", then why the fuck did you kick my head through the god dman announcer's table and split both sides of my head open!? HOW PROFESSIONAL IS THAT?!
The Informer - Is that all he's going to say?
Eddie Sensation - I hope so, he's beginning to tire me.
Madman - If you've been "professional" and given the fans what you think they deserve, then let me give you my "professional" ability and give them what they really deserve.
The Informer - He's dropped the microphone and heading outside of the ring!
Eddie Sensation - GOOD! GET OUTTA HERE... YOU LOWLIFE!!
Vic Canon - Haha! I bet he's coming after you.
Eddie Sensation - [Gulps] NUH UH!
The Informer - No... Instead, he's grabbing Chris Myers' chair! And he tosses it in the ring! I still can't get over how he's limping after being locked in a hold for most of that damn match!
Eddie Sensation - Two words....
Vic Canon - Shut up!
Eddie Sensation - Thats not......oh....
The Informer - The fans are going wild! Madman scoots Creed over to the corner, and opens up the chair..... WHAM!!! DID YOU HEAR THAT METAL BOUNCE OF HIS FACE!!? AGAIN!!! AND A-GAIN!!!!!
Vic Canon - The ref is trying to pull Madman away...... OH!! HE GOT DECKED WITH THE CHAIR TOO!!
Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAH!!!! THIS IS INCREDIBLE!!!
The Informer - Look at the chair! It's been hit around Creed's head so many times it's formed into his structure. ....OOOH!!!! A FOURTH TIME TO THE SKULL!!!
Vic Canon - Here comes security.... THANK GOD!
[ The fans boo like hell ]
The Informer - Fianlly this carnage can be stopped..
Eddie Sensation - AND THAT ASSHOLE CAN BE PUNISHED FOR BEING A SORE LOSER!
Vic Canon - Maybe they should take you away instead Eddie.... I'd be really, REALLY happy!!!
The Informer - Look at Creed's face, now he's busted open.... I think Madman proved his point.
Vic Canon - Fans, we'll be back after this break....
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
Backstage...
[ One of the EWA's newest members, Lance Sterling, is seen sitting in his locker room. Suddenly, there is a knock on the door. Just as Sterling opens the door, Lorenzo Pierro comes charging straight at him! He knocks him onto the floor, and executes a succession of moves. Lance Sterling appears to be out cold. Lorenzo Pierro then begins to speak... ]
Lorenzo Pierro - Live by the blood, die without blood.. I plan to paint this federation red and by the looks of it I've made a pretty good start, Mr "reverse chinlock". Look at yourself Lance, nobody who matters cares that you know more positions then the household brigand. You have bored me all my life with match after match and interview after interview until many of us would just as soon have our own ears ripped from our skulls and fed to maggots than listen to one more laboured word that pops out of your unwanted child of an entomologist with carnal knowledge of cockroaches' mouth. I am the dying breed Lance, not you. All I want in life is to be happy and nothing makes me happier than kicking ass. As far as you go, you don't kick ass, you lick ass. I hate you for the simple reason that you stand for everything I have tried to destroy my whole life. You have never used a chair or a table in your life and I'm guessing you've never even thought about using weapons have you? It's not that you can't or the fact that you won't, it's because you are afraid of people like me. Step into our battlefield without a weapon and I would take you down without a moving an eye lash. I could just knock on Stone's door and ask for a match against you and I would know that my win column would go up by 1 each and everytime. I'm about to say something to you, that you'll never forget, simply because it's me who is giving you a compliment.... Lance, you don't totally suck, but when we lock up... you will truly understand what it is like to be prey, little rat, and I will clean my claws on you!!!
One Fall Match
Fallen Angel vs. ZedChris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall!
[ "Piggy Pie" by ICP blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by Kimberly Wolf, standing 6'2" and weighing in at 255 pounds, from Chicago, Illinois, Fallen Angel!
[ Kimberly Wolf and Fallen Angel step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring. ]
[ "Personal Jesus" by Depeche Mode blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And his opponent... accompanied to the ring by Santoro, standing 6'5" and weighing in at 270 pounds, from Chicago, Illinois, Zed!
[ Santoro and Zed step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring. ]
The Informer - These two dont have much history.. but they're both great athletes! Zed is looking for a win, fresh off his loss to Rob DiMarco! But a win over Fallen Angel wont come too easily!!
Vic Canon - But, it's a good place to start!! If Zed can beat Fallen Angel tonight, it will show that he still has it in him!
Eddie Sensation - Oh shut up! There's the bell!
The Informer - And they lock up! Zed shoves Fallen Angel back... Fallen Angel shoves Zed back... OOH! Hip toss by Fallen Angel!
Vic Canon - Zed gets to his feet! Fallen Angel charges at him, and nails him with a clothesline! Zed hits the mat, and gets back up again! Fallen Angel kicks him in the gut.... DDT!!! And Zed goes down again!!!
Eddie Sensation - Fallen Angel goes for the cover! The ref counts.... 1.... 2... No! Zed with an easy kickout!
The Informer - And Fallen Angel lifts him to his feet again... he scoops him up... Wham! Body Slam, right in the middle of the ring!
Vic Canon - Fallen Angel falls back into the ropes, and bounces forward.... OOH! Leg Drop, right on the money!
Eddie Sensation - He goes for another cover! Easy there Hulk, you're not going to win with a Leg Drop!
The Informer - 1.... 2.... No! Zed gets his shoulder up...
Vic Canon - Fallen Angel lifts Zed again... he sets him up.... WHAM! NECKBREAKER!
Eddie Sensation - And now Fallen Angel is up, and is headed for the top rope! But look! Zed is getting to his feet! He see's Fallen Angel going to the top rope... he knows an opportunity when he see's one!!
The Informer - Zed is up!! He can barely stay on his feet, but he's up! Fallen Angel is trying to balance on the top rope! OOH!! ZED SHAKES THE ROPES, AND FALLEN ANGEL LANDS HARD!!!
Vic Canon - Zed now climbs to the top rope! He hooks Fallen Angel... LOOK OUT!!!!! WHAM!!!!!! SUPERPLEX!!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - DAMN! NICE MOVE!
The Informer - And now Zed is trying to crawl over and go for the cover! And he does! The ref counts.... 1..... 2.... OH!! Fallen Angel JUST got his shoulder up!
Vic Canon - Zed gets to his feet, and drags Fallen Angel up with him. He scoops him up.... OOH!! FALLAWAY SLAM!!!
Eddie Sensation - But Fallen Angel tries to quickly get to his feet! Zed kicks him in the ribs, and he goes down!
The Informer - Zed kicks him in the head a few times, and then lifts him to his feet! Wham! Drop kick by Zed sends Fallen Angel into the ropes! Angel bounces back, right into the waiting Zed, who NAILS him with a Discus Punch!
Vic Canon - Fallen Angel goes tumbling to the mat! Zed quickly covers him.... 1..... 2..... No! Fallen Angel gets his shoulder up again!!
Eddie Sensation - Zed, again, lifts Fallen Angel to his feet. He whips him to the ropes... OH! Fallen Angel kicks Zed in the chest! Zed is stunned for a second, and Fallen Angel quickly lifts him in a Verticle Suplex! WHAM! And he drops him in the middle of the ring!
The Informer - Angel lifts Zed to his feet, and quickly applies a Russian Leg Sweep! And Zed hits the mat hard again!
Vic Canon - Now Fallen Angel is pointing to the top rope! He's going to try and go upstairs again!!!
Eddie Sensation - But Zed is getting to his feet again! This time, Fallen Angel is ready for him! Zed is up... Fallen Angel jumps!
The Informer - WHAM!!!!! OH GOD!!!! COLLISION IN MID-AIR!!!!! ZED DROP KICKED FALLEN ANGEL RIGHT IN THE CHEST!!! DID YOU SEE THE IMPACT ON FALLEN ANGEL?!?!
Vic Canon - Sure did! And now Zed is up! Uh oh! He's calling for the Unforgiven! We haven't seen this move in MONTHS! He lifts him.....!
Eddie Sensation - WHAM!!!!!! UNFORGIVEN!!!!! ZED NAILED HIM WITH IT!!!!!
The Informer - He goes for the cover! .....1....... 2...... 3!!!!
Chris Myers - And the winner of this match.... Zed!
Vic Canon - Fans, we'll be right back!
The Informer - Dont go anywhere!
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
Interview with The Regulators [ "Regulators" by Warren G kicks in over the PA. Johnny Rage and Rick Ramos emerge from the back, and begin their walk to the ring. Both men are displaying their new won (and freshly polished) tag team belts. The belts are so shiny, that the Mormon infested crowd can't stop staring at them, because Mormons love shining things....and little blinking lights. Anyway, Rage is wearing an old skool White and Blue Ty Detmer BYU jersey, with both titles belt swung over each shoulder. The Football Jersey is set off very nicely by blue jeans and a baseball hat turned around backwards that reads "Cunning Linguist". Ramos is wearing black thong underwear ]
The Informer - And here come the freshly crowned 4 time tag team champs.
Vic Canon - Will you listen to this ovation!!!
Crowd - Ohh...Ahh....shiney.
Eddie Sensation - And look at Rage, going for that cheap Mormon Heat with the Detmer Jersey. How Pathetic.
The Informer - What the deal with Ramos?
Vic Canon - I know! Look on the ass at that man eh?!?
Eddie Sensation - Uhh...
The Informer - Umm....
Vic Canon - What? Do I have something between my teeth?
The Informer - Lets go to the ring!
Johnny Rage - HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLO MORMONS!!!
[ Huge Mormon Pop ]
Johnny Rage - Two Sundays ago, the EWA brought to you ROCK THE BOAT aboard the S.S. Dynasty...I don't know how many of you missed it...
The Informer - Not many, seeing as how it was the 3rd highest rated PPV in EWA HISTORY!!!!
Eddie Sensation - And yet it was down 6 whole rating points from Global Threat.
The Informer - Shaddap.
Johnny Rage - Now, in case you missed it, The Bj Boyz and ourselves put on a great little match for the tag titles, and Rick and I came out on top...but that match could have gone either way. They gave us one of our biggest challanges ever...as big as the Dungeon Masters in the BLW...how many you watched the BLW anyway?
Crowd - ...
Rick Ramos - Grunt.
Johnny Rage - Yes Rick, they did drop a building on you...Now...umm...Rick?
Rick Ramos - Grunt?
Johnny Rage - Whats the deal with the thong?
Rick Ramos - Grunt.
Johnny Rage - You forgot to put on clothes again, didn't you.
Rick Ramos - Grunt.
Johnny Rage - Sometimes I wonder if you get dumber by the day...anyway---
[ Suddenly "I'M THE MOUNTIE!!!" echos over the PA system...and The Mounties old theme erupts ]
Vic Canon - Hey! The Mountie!!!
The Informer - I thought his appearance at Rock the Boat was a one nite deal....apparently so did the Regulators. Look at the confusion on the face of Rick Ramos!!!
Eddie Sensation - He's not confused...he's a Mongoloid!
The Mountie - I'M THE MOUNTIE!!!
Johnny Rage - And?
The Mountie - I WON YOU THOSE BELTS!!!
Johnny Rage - How?
The Mountie - LIKE THIS!!! *zaps Rick Ramos in the genitals with his cattle prod*
Rick Ramos - Grunt.
Eddie Sensation - Lets hope that makes him sterile.
Vic Canon - I think the Mountie wants his piece of the Regulators glory.
Johnny Rage - Sorry Mountie but...
[ Suddenly "My Niggas" by DMX kicks in over the PA ]
Vic Canon - OH MY GOD!!! THAT...THATS CRAIG HAHNS MUSIC!!!
[ Craig Hahn walks out. Hahn is wearing an old Regulators tee-shirt from the FCA days ]
Eddie Sensation - Way to ruin it for the rest of us, asshole. Why is that FCA announcer reject here anyway?
The Informer - Well, Hahn used to manage The Regulators in the FCA...he actually led them to a title reign...
Johnny Rage - Why are you here Craiggers?
Craig Hahn - I...
Rick Ramos - Grunt?
Craig Hahn - No, I'm not gay!
Rick Ramos - Grunt?
Craig Hahn - No! I'm not an International Terrorist!!!
Rick Ramos - Gr...
Craig Hahn - SHUT UP!!! JUST SHUT UP!!!!
Johnny Rage - Uhh...
Craig Hahn - I took all your shit for months...and I didn't get dick in return. Now, you guys are Tag Champs again....and I want what I deserve.
Johnny Rage - Which is?
The Mountie - I'M THE MOUNTIE!!!
Craig Hahn - I want...
[ Suddenly "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns and Roses kicks in, and Harrison Widger walks to the ring ]
Vic Canon - Who?
The Informer - I know that kid!!! He led the Regulators to their 3rd title reign here in the EWA!!!
Harrison Widger - Yeah guys!!!
Johnny Rage - Harrison? I thought John Tenta killed you?!?
Harrison Widger - Yeah internal bleeding!!!!
Johnny Rage - What do you want?
Harrison Widger - Yeah Money!!! Yeah Power!!! Yeah Glory!!!!
Johnny Rage - Why do I not like the way this is going...at all...
[ Suddenly "Du Hast" by Rammstien kicks in over the PA, and Bob Backlund walks to the ring ]
Eddie Sensation - This is what the Regulators get for using so many managers! They all want their peice now!!!
Bob Backlund - REMEMBER ME???
The Informer - Backlund led them to their second title reign before going clinically insane.
Johnny Rage - Oh my god.
Vic Canon - THE MOUNTIE, HAHN, WIDGER, AND BACKLUND!!! LIKE A MODERN DAY 4 HORSEMEN, THESE MEN ARE STANDING IN FRONT OF THE REGULATORS, MENACINGLY STARING THEM DOWN!!! THIS IS SHOWTIME FOLKS!!! THIS IS WHAT THE EWA IS ALL ABOUT!!!
The Informer - If this is what the EWA is all about, I'm amazed people still watch this. This entire segment has been a peice of sh*t and I'm embarassed by it.
Eddie Sensation - As am I.
Johnny Rage - How's about we settle this...
[ Suddenly, a giant lightning bolt hits the ring. A large brown smear is left were The 4 old managers were standing ]
Johnny Rage - WOW! Thanks Mormon God!
Vic Canon - THANKS TO THE POWER OF PRAYER, GOD HAS STRUCK DOWN THESE 4 MEN!!!
Eddie Sensation - I guess all that cheap Mormon heat did serve a purpose...
The Informer - I'm...Whatever.
[ "Regulators" by Warren G kicks in over the PA, and The Regulators leave ]
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
Pre-Match Interview with Chandler
"ROBBIE DI FUCKING MARCO!!!" [ Chandler walks into the view of the backstage camera and throws an arm around his interviewer, Chandler's personal punching bag, Rob DiMarco ]
Rob DiMarco - Chandler...
[ Chandler kicks DiMarco in the gut and throws him out of the view of the camera. He picks up DiMarco's dropped mic and laughs, then begins cutting his promo himself ]
Chandler - Hahaha, SHUT UP BITCH! Now, Deuce...I think its time I PHREEK your 2nd rate TDS ripoff ass up, you goddamn Motor City Munchass.
[ Chandler slaps the belt that is strapped around his waist ]
Chandler - You see this? THIS, Deuce, represents excellence, physical conditioning, and the will to be the best at what you do. THIS IS SOMETHING I DESERVE, NOT YOU!!! You're championship reign was, and still is, A DISGRACE TO THE EWA!!! And tonight, A FUCKING HALF-YEAR AFTER THE FACT, I'M GOING TO MAKE YOUR ASS PAY!!!
Chandler - TIME TO PAY MOTHERFUCKER, TIME TO PAY!!!
[ Chandler throws down the microphone and heads towards the ring ]
EWA Heavyweight Title Match
Chandler vs. DeuceChris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the EWA Heavyweight Championship!
[ "When Worlds Collide" by Powerman 5000 blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'2" and weighing in at 295 pounds, from New Orleans, Louisiana, a member of 3D... Deuce!
[ Deuce steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
[ "Ready or Not" by The Fugees blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6' and weighing in at 240 pounds, from Shreveport, Louisiana, the EWA Heavyweight Champion, Chandler!
[ The EWA Heavyweight Champion Chandler steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - Chandler hands his title to the referee, and both men meet in the middle of the ring! We have a stare down! They're face to face, and they're exchanging words!
Vic Canon - Here we have the current champ, and a past champ! We're in for one hell of a wrestling match!
Eddie Sensation - But first, one of them has to make the first move! They're still trading words!
The Informer - Uh oh! Chandler just said something, and Deuce's eyes grew! Deuce strikes Chandler with a left punch! Chandler stumbles back, bounces off the ropes, and nails Deuce with a left fist to the face!
Vic Canon - Now they're trading fists! Deuce with a right, Chandler with a left... right, left, right, left, right, left!!!
Eddie Sensation - WHAM! Chandler puts Deuce down with a clothesline!
The Informer - But Deuce gets right back up! Chandler charges at him... Deuce leap frogs over Chandler's head... Chandler bounces off the ropes, and kicks Deuce in the gut! He grabs Deuce, and sets him up for a Piledriver! He lifts him....
Vic Canon - No! Deuce reverses... BACK BODY DROP! But Chandler gets back up! Deuce charges at him... clothesline! Chandler goes down, but gets right back up! Deuce charges at him again.... ANOTHER clothesline! Chandler hits the mat, but makes his way to his feet!
Eddie Sensation - Deuce charges again....
The Informer - CLOTHESLI--NO! CHANDLER GRABS HIS ARM, AND DRIVES HIM INTO THE MAT WITH AN ARM BAR SUBMISSION!!!
Vic Canon - Wow! What a match so far! Now Chandler has Deuce in that arm bar, but Deuce doesnt seem to be giving up! Chandler gets to his feet, with Deuce still locked in the arm bar... He kicks him in the gut.... WHAM! DDT BY CHANDLER!
Eddie Sensation - And Deuce is temporarily down! Chandler leaps to the top rope... he balances himself, and waits for Deuce! Deuce slowly gets to his feet.... he stands up....
The Informer - LOOK OUT!!! OOOH!!! MOONSAULT OFF THE TOP, RIGHT ON TARGET! AND CHANDLER GOES FOR THE PIN!!! 1.... 2..... No! Deuce kicks out!
Vic Canon - Chandler gets to his feet, and drags Deuce up by his hair! He throws Deuce to the ropes, and waits for him... Deuce comes bouncing back. Chandler ducks for a back body drop, but he's way too early! Deuce kicks him in the shoulder, and scoops him up.... GORILLA PRESS SLAM!
Eddie Sensation - DAMN! Chandler hit the mat on his chest! That must have driven the air out of him!
The Informer - Well, I dont think so... because Chandler is back up! Chandler swings with a clothesline, but Deuce ducks it... they both turn around, and face each other..... WHAM!!!
Vic Canon - OH MAN!!! BIG BOOT TO THE FACE OF CHANDLER!!! DEUCE NAILED HIM!!! And now Bigg Daddy Deuce is going for the cover! The ref counts... 1..... 2..... No! Chandler gets his shoulder up!
Eddie Sensation - HA! You're not going to beat Chandler with a damn boot to the face!
The Informer - Who knows Eddie... anything could happen! This is the EWA, you know! ...anyway, back to the action.. Deuce lifts Chandler to his feet, bends forward, and grabs him by his waist! Deuce has Chandler up in a bear hug!
Vic Canon - NO HE DOESNT!!!! WHAM!!!!! MY GOD!!! DEUCE SLAMMED CHANDLER TO THE MAT WITH A MODIFIED SPINEBUSTER!!!!
Eddie Sensation - And now Deuce is going for his legs!
The Informer - Deuce grabs the champ's legs, and begins to apply a Boston Crab! ....aaaaaand.... YES, he has it applied!
Vic Canon - Deuce begins to apply the pressure.. and Chandler is feeling it!! The champ could be in trouble here!
Eddie Sensation - Chandler is WAY too far from the ropes! He'll never reach them!
The Informer - But Chandler is still tring to power out of that Boston Crab! That wont be easy, seeing as how Deuce is a power-house!
Vic Canon - Wait a minute... Chandler is shaking his body, from side to side! He suddenly jerks! LOOK OUT!!
Eddie Sensation - OOH!! DEUCE WENT FLYING THROUGH THE MIDDLE AND TOP ROPE!! Chandler used his momentum to send Bigg Daddy Deuce flying out of the ring!
The Informer - Great thinking by the Champ! And that shows you how he IS the champion!
Vic Canon - Wait a minute... look in the crowd there guys... it looks like some fan is causing problems in the first 4 or 5 rows here by ringside!
Eddie Sensation - That isn't a fan! That's KURT POSER!
[ Kurt Poser is seen carrying a large sign, which reads "Stone's Personal Whore #1" on one side and "Stop Stone's Power Trip" on the other... ]
The Informer - Well, Kurt is continuing his hate propaganda against Tom Stone here in the EWA.... now he's trying to get the fans on his side!
Vic Canon - Well, finally, here comes Security to get rid of this moron....
Eddie Sensation - WHAM!!! OH GOD!!! POSER JUST NAILED THE SECURITY WITH THAT SIGN!!! WHAM!!!! AND HE NAILS ANOTHER WITH A STEEL CHAIR FROM THE CROWD!!!
The Informer - Dammit! Get him! Kurt Poser is running through the crowd, heading for higher grounds!
Vic Canon - Well, it doesnt look like Deuce or Chandler care one bit about Kurt Poser... Deuce is slowly climbing back into the ring!
Eddie Sensation - But Chandler is right there!
The Informer - Chandler meets Deuce on the apron... and hooks him for a suplex! Chandler lifts Deuce.... WHAM! Nice Suplex by the current EWA World Champ!
Vic Canon - Chandler lifts Deuce to his feet, and whips him to the ropes! Deuce bounces off the ropes, and ducks a clothesline by Chandler... Chandler hits the ropes again, and Deuce comes running in! Look out! Hurraconranna by Chandler!
Eddie Sensation - NO!!! WHAM!!!! DEUCE GRABBED HIM IN MID AIR, AND NAILED HIM WITH AN ATOMIC DROP!!!
The Informer - Chandler is stumbling around the ring! Deuce grabs him... LOOK OUT!! THIS COULD BE "THE BIG EASY", DEUCE'S BIG MOVE!!!
Vic Canon - HE HAS HIM SET UP!!! OOH! No! Chandler elbows him in the back of the head twice! Deuce releases Chandler, and Chandler stumbles back a bit... He bounces off the ropes, and charges at Deuce! SPINNING HEEL KICK! NO! Deuce caught the leg... he swings Chandler around, and kicks him in the gut!
Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT!!!!! POWERBOMB!!!!!!!
The Informer - DAMN!! Did you see him bounce off the mat?!
Vic Canon - Sure did! But look! Can you see what I see?!
Eddie Sensation - YUP!!! Serial Thrylla is making his way to ringside, with a hockey stick!!
The Informer - This cant be good for Deuce!
Vic Canon - Wait! Look now! The new North American Champ, "The Original Outlaw" Vinny D is on his way to ringside!
Eddie Sensation - Back to the action... Deuce is picking up Chandler... he's got him right where he wants him! Deuce throws Chandler to the ropes...
The Informer - Wait a minute... the ref is leaning over the ropes, telling Vinny D to get the hell away from ringside! I dont get it! He's letting Thrylla stay, but not Vince? What the hell did Vince do?!?!
Vic Canon - Deuce hits the ropes.... LOOK OUT!!!!! WHAM!!!! OH MY GOD!!!! SERIAL THRYLLA JUST CRACKED DEUCE OVER THE HEAD WITH THAT HOCKEY STICK!!! DEUCE STUMBLES FORWARD... CHANDLER KICKS HIM IN THE GUT....
Eddie Sensation - BIG TIMER!!! BIG TIMER!!! BIG TIMER!!!
The Informer - CHANDLER GOES FOR THE COVER.... BUT THE REF IS TIED UP WITH VINCE!
Vic Canon - NO! THE REF TURNED AROUND, AND SEE'S THE COVER!!! HE COUNTS.... 1....
Eddie Sensation - LOOK! VINCE IS GETTING INTO THE RING!!!
The Informer - 2......
Vic Canon - VINCE CHARGES AT CHANDLER!
Eddie Sensation - THREE!! THREE!! VINCE WAS TOO LATE!!!
Chris Myers - The winner of this match... and STILL EWA Heavyweight Champion, Chandler!
The Informer - Serial Thrylla is now pulling Chandler out of the ring!!! Chandler has his title, and both members of Team Ballz are heading backstage!
Vic Canon - Damn them! DAMN TEAM BALLZ! Serial Thrylla just robbed Deuce of POSSIBLY becoming EWA World Champion again!
Eddie Sensation - Thats what you call team work! And obviously Vince and Deuce cant work together properly! Vince was the one who caused the ref to get distracted!
The Informer - You're right Eddie.. and I think thats what Deuce is realizing right now! Deuce and Vince are having some words...
Vic Canon - But there will be no fighting between these two... not tonight at least... Vince and Deuce are leaving ringside, obviously a bit disappointed...
Pre-Match Interview with Ethan Tyler [ Rob DiMarco is standing by a door way with Tom Stone and he seems to be pleading with him ]
Rob DiMarco - Please Tom, don't make me interview Tyler, I hate Team Ballz, all the crap they've put me through, I don't want anymore!
Tom Stone - Tell me Rob, did you wrestle last week just to be fired this week? Because that's what you're telling me son.
Rob DiMarco - Jesus, I'm gonna quit before I'm fired.... Fine, I'll do the interview. But I don't want to....
[ DiMarco walks over to Ethan Tyler who's drinking a cup of coffe. ]
Rob DiMarco - Well, against my will, here I am with The Turncoat Ethan Tyler..... Ethan, why did you do what you did at Rock the Boat? How could you betray everyone that trusted you?
[ Tyler sips his coffe, smiles at DiMarco, hands him the cup, takes the mic from Rob's hand and smiles at DiMarco ]
Ethan Tyler - Hit the bricks, and get me some better coffee.
[ Tyler shoves DiMarco out of camrea's view and directs his attention straight into the viewing audience at home. ]
Ethan Tyler - It's not about talk, there is no need for an interview . This match is non sanctioned, no rules, no laws, no boundaries, no limits, but most importantly, no respect Diamante. I'm gonna finish you before you even start. Remember, all the heros are dead. Only we stand.
[ Tyler throws the mic down and walks away as we cut back to ringside ]
Pre-Match Interview with Nick Diamante Rob DiMarco - Thanks guys. I'm here right now with "The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante. Now Nick, you're about to step up against the newest member of Team Ballz… the so-called "Facilitator"… Ethan Tyler. This match is Non Sanctioned because you do not have a contract with this company at the moment.
"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - Listen Robby… regarding my status in the EWA, I have my lawyers working on that right now. Stone openly let it be known to me that my return could come whenever I wanted it, so… if ya catch my drift…
[ Suddenly, Ethan Tyler comes running in and nails Diamante with some sort of wooden board… ]
The Informer - OH MY GOODNESS!! ETHAN TYLER JUST JUMPED DIAMANTE FROM BEHIND!!
Vic Canon - TALK ABOUT BEING FOCUSED!! TYLER IS RIGHT ON THE MONEY!!
Eddie Sensation - WHAT'S HE SAYING?? HE'S YELLING OUT "START THE MATCH! START THE MATCH!"
The Informer - OH NO! THE BELL HAS BEEN RUNG HERE AT RINGSIDE!! BUT THIS IS NOT RIGHT!!
Vic Canon - It's Non-Sanctioned, Informer! Nothing is right in this match!
Eddie Sensation - HOLY CRAP!! TYLER IS CHOKING DIAMANTE OUT WITH SOME SORT OF STICK… AND HE'S GOT DIAMANTE BACK ON HIS FEET!!
The Informer - IT LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE COMING THIS WAY!! MY GOODNESS FANS, WE'VE GOT TO TAKE ONE MORE COMMERCIAL BREAK! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH DIAMANTE VERSUS TYLER!!
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
Non-Sanctioned "Street Fight"
Nick Diamante vs. Ethan TylerThe Informer - WHAM! What a stiff kick to the ribs by Ethan Tyler! Welcome back fans! During the break, these 2 men ended up fighting through the crowd, and into the ring! It's been almost all Ethan Tyler so far! He's really stepping up on his game tonight for this chance against Diamante!
Vic Canon - You can say that again! The enforcer of Team Ballz is doing what he came here to do!
Eddie Sensation - Now Tyler is going for that trash can over in the corner! He's setting it up… lodging it between the top and middle ropes!
The Informer - You think he's going to send "The Diamond Stud" charging right into it?!
Vic Canon - If he can pull it off, you know that's what's on his mind!
Eddie Sensation - Tyler has Diamante backed into the corner! HOT DAMN! What a reverse knife-edge chop! AND ANOTHER!
The Informer - Listen to that smack!
Vic Canon - Here we go! Tyler sends Diamante running with the Irish-whip… NO! DIAMANTE REVERSES IT!
Eddie Sensation - NO! NO! TYLER REVERSES IT AGAIN! BUT DIAMANTE JUMPS……… HOLY CRAP!!
The Informer - MY GOODNESS!! WHAT AGILITY BY THE BIG MAN!! DIAMANTE JUST JUMPED ONTO THE TOP ROPE, MAINTAINED HIS BALANCE FOR A SPLIT SECOND WITH ONE FOOT AND SHOT STRAIGHT BACK AT TYLER WITH A REVERSE FLYING ELBOW!
Vic Canon - THESE MEN HAVE COME HERE TO FIGHT TONIGHT! NO GAMES!
Eddie Sensation - Damn! That move just got the crowd back into this thing!
The Informer - Both men are down in this an unbelievable unsanctioned Street Fight!! The ref is beginning to count!
Vic Canon - This is the point in the match where we're gonna see which one of these guys wants it the most!
Eddie Sensation - The ref is on 4… 5… and Ethan Tyler is starting to move. He's almost on all fours!
The Informer - Diamante is starting to make a move too! He's been taking the punishment for the last few minutes, but he's pulling it all out to get back into this one!
Vic Canon - Diamante has returned to the EWA to get some revenge on Chandler and to humble Team Ballz! But in the back of his mind, not buried too deeply, you KNOW Diamante wants that one thing he has never attained in the EWA! And that's the World Title! But before he can get a shot, he's got to prove to the world that he can put away guys like Tyler and get back into the race! This is his first match in over 3 months!
Eddie Sensation - Good point, brother! But look! Tyler is on his feet… he's on the apron, and he's going up top! BOOH YEAH!
The Informer - Ethan Tyler on the top rope! "The Diamond Stud" just getting on his feet! This could spell trouble for Diamante!
Vic Canon - TYLER'S UP! HE'S WAITING! NOW, DIAMANTE'S ON HIS FEET!
Eddie Sensation - ETHAN TYLER WITH THE CROSS BODY BLOCK… NO!! NO!! DIAMANTE DUCKS!!
The Informer - GOOD LORD!!! TYLER MISSED THAT CROSS BODY ATTEMPT, AND HE WENT CRASHING RIGHT INTO THAT STEEL CHAIR THAT WAS SET UP IN THE RING EARLIER!! WHAT A NASTY LANDING… AND TYLER IS BACK ON HIS FEET CLUTCHING HIS RIBS!
Vic Canon - BUT LOOK! LOOK!! DIAMANTE IS A VULTURE, AND HE SMELLS BLOOD!!
Eddie Sensation - YEAH, HERE WE GO!! HE'S GOT TYLER IN POSITION… NICK UNDERHOOKS THE ARMS!! AND NOW… HE'S HEAVES UP ETHAN TYLERRRRRR…….
The Informer - THE BEGINNING OF THE ENNNNNNNNNNNND!! WHAM!!! DOWN!! THE DIAMOND DRIVER!! THE DIAMOND DRIVER!! NICK DIAMANTE HAS JUST HIT THE BIG MOVE!!!
Vic Canon - AND HE FOLLOWS UP WITH THE COVER!! 1… 2… 3!!! HE DID IT!! HE DID IT!! DIAMANTE HAS BEATEN ETHAN TYLER WITH THE DIAMOND DRIVER!!
Chris Myers - The winner of this Street Fight is "The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante!
Eddie Sensation - HE'S BACK! "THE DIAMOND STUD" NICK DIAMANTE IS BACK AND HE'S READY FOR WAR!! TEAM BALLZ, LOOK OUT!
The Informer - WHAT AN UNBELIEVABLE MATCH!! WHAT AN UNBELIEVABLE WAR WE'VE SEEN HERE TONIGHT!!
Vic Canon - MY GOODNESS!! For all the doubters out there who thought Diamante had some ring-rust on him… THINK AGAIN! Diamante looks to be in the best shape of his life!
[ Diamante climbs up onto the second rope to celebrate, clutching his ribs with one and raising the other… ]
Eddie Sensation - DAMN! And this is only one piece of the puzzle! We get to come back and do this again next week!
The Informer - That's right, Eddie! This is just the beginning of what will be a LONG, LONG war between good and evil! Team Ballz has run the EWA for the last few months doing whatever they pleased! But now, Diamante and the 3 Dimensions of Wrestling… Deuce… Di Nardo… Delaney… they've all stood up for their beliefs! They're standing up and taking control!
Vic Canon - WAIT! INFORMER, HOLD ON! SPEAKING OF STANDING UP… ETHAN TYLER!
Eddie Sensation - UH OH!! DAMN!! TYLER IS ON HIS FEET… AND DIAMANTE'S STILL CELEBRATING ON THE ROPES!!
The Informer - HE'S GOT THE STEEL CHAIR WITH HIM!! ETHAN TYLER HAS THE STEEL CHAIR THAT COST HIM THE MATCH!! LOOK OUT!!!
[ Ethan Tyler swings violently at the side of Diamante's right knee… ]
Vic Canon - WHAM!! JESUS CHRIST!! DIAMANTE GOES TUMBLING TO THE MAT!! HOLY CHRIST… ETHAN TYLER JUST TOOK DIAMANTE'S KNEE RIGHT OUT OF THE GAME!!
Eddie Sensation - DID YOU HEAR THAT?? I THINK I HEARD A POP!!! AND I AIN'T TALKIN' ABOUT THIS CROWD!! I'M TALKIN' ABOUT DIAMANTE'S KNEE!! LOOK AT HIM!!! DIAMANTE IS ON THE MAT CLUTCHING HIS KNEE AND SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS!!
[ Ethan Tyler takes another swing at Diamante's knee for good measure… ]
The Informer - ANOTHER SHOT TO THE KNEE BY ETHAN TYLER!! SOMEBODY STOP HIM!! HE'S AN ANIMAL!!
Vic Canon - LOOK AT HIM! THE NEWEST MEMBER OF TEAM BALLZ IS PROVING THAT HE'S CUSTOM TAILORED TO BE IN THIS GROUP! HE JUST DID THE DIRTY WORK!
Eddie Sensation - THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE!!
[ Tyler raises his arms, one still holding the chair, to a chorus of boos… ]
Vic Canon - This is horrible! Tyler is now grabbing the chair and ramming it into Nick's knee again! His career is over again before it's even restarted! Look at Diamante clutching his knee!
Ethan Tyler - Show me Nick, where does it hurt?
The Informer - That sicko just drove the chair into his knee again! Tyler is repeatedly slamming that chair into TDS' knee! He's now got a single leg crab applied, listen to Diamante scream in pain!
Eddie Sensation - For the love of God will anyone help him!?
Vic Canon - Tyler drives the knee into the ground with full force! Diamante is crippled! Tyler is now in his face and is holding him up by his hair, taunting him!
Ethan Tyler - "The Diamond Stud's" win was a facade, but the victory for Team Ballz is real...... Deal with it.
[ Ethan drops Diamante's head into the ground and throws the chair at his knee… ]
The Informer - I CAN'T BELIEVE MY EYES!! ETHAN TYLER HAS LAID OUT NICK DIAMANTE!! DIAMANTE'S IN PAIN, STILL ON THE MAT GRASPING HIS KNEE!! MY GOD FANS, WHAT A NIGHT!! BUT WE'RE ALL OUT OF TIME!! JOIN US AGAIN NEXT WEEK FOR MORE EWA TUESDAY NIGHT HEAT!! FOR SENSATION AND CANON, THIS IS THE INFORMER… GOODNIGHT!!
Eddie Sensation - HE'S A MADMAN! HE'S AN ENFORCER!!
