[The camera brings us to a shot of the EWA symbol, which quickly fades to black. We then see a montage of clips from the EWA's latest Pay Per View: Global Threat 2000. After a 2-3 minute video is show, the EWA Tuesday Night Heat: The Aftermath video is played. We are then brought to a shot of Rachel Stevens, Zed and Rob DiMarco sitting inside the EWA Studios in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.]Rob DiMarco - Welcome Fans, to TUESDAY NIGHT HEAT: THE AFTERMATH!
Zed - Shut up DiMarco! Stop plugging your nose like that! It hurts my ears! Wait.. That's your normal voice.... ANYWAY, we're live from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, for The Aftermath! Tonight we'll hear words from many EWA superstars, commenting on their matches at Global Threat this past Sunday!
Rachel Stevens - Some scheduled Interviews that we have for you tonight, are: Arthryn, "Tricky" Tiki Tortez, Thorn, Ethan Tyler, Drew Norwood, Team Ballz AND THE REGULATORS! Also, Da BJ Boyz are supposed to stop by here for an interview... that should be great!
Rob DiMarco - Also on this card--
Zed - ...we have LOTS of taped footage from yesterday's EWA House Show Osaka, Japan! We'll see Divine, Drew Norwood, Vinny D, Josh Hamric and Lorenzo Hayes, and so much more!
Rachel Stevens - Right on Zed! So, lets get cracking! What's first Zed??
Rob DiMarco - Well, we've got--
Zed - AHEM! SHE SAID ZED, not Robby! First up, we've got some Vinny D footage! Check it out!
At Yesterday's House Show... [ The Original Outlaw Vinny D parks his Harley, takes off his shades, and starts walking through the parking lot. He makes his way to the backstage area, and as he does, a figure, carrying some object can be seen walking towards Vinny D's bike ]
Rachel Stevens - Later on tonight, you'll find out who that man was! But, first, if you can recall... At Global Threat 2000, we saw a version of a mixed tag team match pitting Don Michaels and Jeanine Trujillo against Lorenzo Hayes and Josh Hamric...
Rob DiMarco - MIXED TAG TEAM MATCH??? If I remember correctly, Josh Hamric is a male...
Zed - But he wrestles like a woman, DiMarco. God!
Rachel Stevens - During the match, Josh Hamric had came into the ring, ILLEGALLY, and was pinned by Don Michaels. He was indeed the illegal man... which was a travesty in Lorenzo and Mr. Hamric's eyes. The following was taped moments after their match last night.
After the PPV... [ We hear fans cheering and Don Michaels theme in the background. Moments after the mixed tag team match, we see Lorenzo Hayes and Josh Hamric walking through the curtain... ]
Lorenzo Hayes - What the FUCK was that all about?? Josh, what were you doing in the ring?
Josh Hamric - Dude, it was Don Michaels! The fucker set me up! After he rolled you out of the ring, the bitch nailed me with a The Autograph!
Lorenzo Hayes - Either way, you shouldn't have been in there, Hammy! It's your fault we lost! YOURS!
[ As Hamric was about to defend himself, we see the referee walking through the curtains. ]
Referee - Nice show out there, Hamric. Too bad it wasn't good enough. Sorry man.
Josh Hamric - "Sorry man"??? What the FUCK?! Listen here bitch... I WAS THE ILLEGAL MAN! Don Michaels never should have pinned me!
Referee - I'm sorry, Josh. Better luck next time.
Josh Hamric - "Better luck next time"?!? Lorenzo... do it!
[ Suddenly, we see Lorenzo Hayes taking out the referee with the Showtime! ]
Lorenzo Hayes - Bitch! Come on, Hamric... we've gotta think all of this over!
Rob DiMarco - We'll be right back fans!
Zed - Fans, we'll be right back!
Rob DiMarco - I just said that!
Zed - Well, mine was better! Dont go anywhere fans!
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
At Yesterday's House Show... [ Vinny D is walking back out of the backstage area and into the parking lot. He notices his bike, which is merely a lump of steel, mended together ]
"The Original Outlaw" Vinny D - WHAT THE FUCK?? What the hell happened to my bike!?!? WHO THE FUCK DID THIS??
[ A backstage attendant is walking by and Vinny D grabs him by the throat ]
"The Original Outlaw" Vinny D - WHO THE HELL DID THIS TO MY BIKE?? DID YOU SEE WHO IT WAS?? TELL ME!! TELL ME NOW BEFORE I RIP YOUR FUCKING SKINNY HEAD OFF!!
Attendant - I... uh... I didn't, mm...... uh, I didn't see anyone........ Mr. uh........ er.... Mr. Outlaw sir........ I swear it. I... I... I, I don't know who did this.......
[ Vinny D tosses the attendant to the side, the attendant promptly charges back towards the lockeroom area. Vinny D grabs his oakleys from of the twisted metal that was once his Harley ]
"The Original Outlaw" Vinny D - .............. Arthryn!!
[ Vinny D, once again begins to make his way to the backstage area ]
Rachel Stevens - Ha! We now find out that Vinny D's bike has been vandalized! Later on, we'll find out who that was... but now, here's an interview with "Tricky" Tiki Tortez that happened yesterday! Check it out!
Interview with "Tricky" Tiki Tortez [ "Break Out" by Foo Fighters hits the speakers. The crowd gives a mixed reaction as "Tricky" Tiki Tortez emerges from behind the curtains. A loud array of boos comes from the crowd as he continues to walk down the aisle and eventually into the ring. Tiki Tortez then grabs the microphone. Beads of sweat come from his forehead as he looks extremely angry. A grimacing look crosses his face as he prepares to speak. ]
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Ok, enough is enough. So far I have taken out every single wrestler that Tom Stone has thrown at me. This Extreme Division has turn to shit. I am sick and tired of watching jobber after jobber try to prove that they are great when in reality they suck. Everyone here knows it...and everyone here knows that my talent is going to waste. I am worthy of much more than this. Look at me, I am 4-0, and the only person left in the Extreme Division...this is...this is...well, it is pathetic!
[ Pause ]
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - What I am saying is I want a god damn challenge. Someone who will last longer than 30 seconds. Is that too much to ask?
[ Crowd boos ]
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Oh screw you guys...Tom Stone...get your ass out here right now!
[ Long Pause, but still no Tom ]
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Tom...I am not kidding. When I joined this federation, you told me I was given the chance of a life-time. A chance of a life-time! Now get your ass out here and explain you prick!
[ Seconds later the EWA theme plays over the speakers. Tiki jerks his head up as a smile crosses his face. Tom Stone then emerges from the curtains. Tiki shakes his head in disgust as Tom begins to speak. ]
Tom Stone - Tiki...Tiki...Tiki. [Sarcastically] I am so sorry that you are unhappy with your position here in the EWA. I mean, I tried to make a comfortable environment for you. You have the Extreme Title, are undefeated and above all, on top of your game. If that is so bad...then I suggest I can make things... [Cough] better for you.
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Cut the crap Stone...you have been using me this whole time. You just needed someone to fill this Extreme Title division. You know what...fu[bleep] it! I don't want this title any more.
Tom Stone - Now Tiki, we don't need to act like children about this do we? So, what you are telling me is that you are unhappy here and want a challenge? Am I right?
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Yes you are.
Tom Stone - You don't want to be used, you want to be given as much opportunity as my good boy Chandler, or even that pathetic loser Chris Jericho?
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Yes, that is correct.
Tom Stone - Well, gee, why didn't you say that before. I have a deal for you!
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - No deals...a want a match.
Tom Stone - Well, you may like this deal. Here it is...
[ Pause ]
Tom Stone - Next week on Heat...you will take part in a handicap match. A 3-on-1 match to be exact! And the three participants that you will face will be none other than... BRANDON KEARSE, MORAL AND THE WILDMAN! Yes, this will be a 3-on-1, and whoever gets a pin first is the NEW Extreme Champion!
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - [Angry] What the hell, that is so unfair. One of those jobbers can just pin each other and get my championship. That is absure, I want a different match, this is impossible!
Tom Stone - I'm sorry Tiki, but this is an great challenge for you. Show us your talent and stop all 3 of these men from pinning each other, I know you can do it... [Snickers]
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Screw you, I am not doing it!
Tom Stone - Geez, you know what, that is too bad. Because I was planning on giving you a shot against WHOEVER you want on next Heat if you won. But, if you decline the match, then never mind.
[ Tom begins to leave before Tiki suddenly interrupts. ]
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Hold up there Stone.
Tom Stone - What now Tortez, I have a busy schedule and according to you, you aren't interested in my deal. So, goodbye.
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Wait a minute. So you are saying that if I accept this match and win, I can fight whoever I want on the next Heat!
Tom Stone - That is correct, ANYONE you want. And the match stipulations are completely up to you.
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Oh hell, I'll accept then. You got yourself a match. And you can tell those three jobbers that their careers are going to be over come next Tuesday.
Tom Stone - I'll see you then Mr. Tortez.
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - You can count on that Tom...and hey you never know, I may choose to fight you.
[ A look of amazement crosses the face of Tom Stone as he turns around and looks at Tiki. ]
Tom Stone - No you won't...
[ And with that, Tom leaves the scene. Tiki shakes his head angrily as he exits the ring. The crowd gives Tiki a mixed reaction as he walks back up the ramp. ]
Zed - So, next week, it's "Tricky" Tiki Tortez against Brandon Kearse, Moral, AND The Wildman! If Tiki wins, he gets to fight ANYONE he wants! Ha!
Rachel Stevens - And that person just might be Tom Stone! Fans, we've got to take a quick break... but first, take a look at this!
At Yesterdays House Show... [ Backstage, Sean Waltzer and the five men seen last week on Tuesday Night Ballz are walking in formation, with Waltzer at the side yelling orders at them. The men, dressed in full camouflage fatigues, march in unison to an inner beat, maintaining their perfect pentagon formation. As they round a corner, Howell is seen talking to one of the backstage assistants about his matches at Global Threat and both men turn to see the group. Howell proceeds to laugh as the men pass by. ]
Howell - Hah! Man, can you believe those guys? Marching around here like a bunch of Army boys fresh out of boot camp! Hah!
[ Waltzer orders the men to stop and walks over to Howell. ]
Sean Waltzer - What did you just say to us?
[ Howell gets a smirk on his face as he replies. ]
Howell - I said "What's he trying to do...teach them how to walk so that he can then teach them how to dance?"
[ Before Waltzer can respond, Drew Norwood breaks out of formation and quickly moves over to the three men. ]
"Shadowhawk" Drew Norwood - You should show us the proper respect...we have served the United States in several conflicts with honor and pride, and we have earned the right to be considered some of the highest ranking officers in our corps.
[ Howell makes an obviously fake "scared" gesture. ]
Howell - Oh god, sir...I am so sorry...I didn't mean to disrespect you or nothing like that.
"Shadowhawk" Drew Norwood - Make sure your attitude stays that way.
[ Norwood and Waltzer turn to return to formation, but Howell elbows Norwood from behind, followed by a low blow that puts Norwood on the floor. ]
Howell - You want respect? I've got your respect right here...
[ Howell picks Norwood up off the floor and lands a snap suplex onto the concrete floor, then proceeds to walk away. The rest of the formation breaks and rushes over to Norwood, then begins to run after Howell, who now takes off. ]
Sean Waltzer - Hold it right there, men!
[ The men stop at once and turn to face their leader. ]
Sean Waltzer - I'm sure you are all mad about things, but let us continue...we have more important matters to attend to before we deal with this situation...
[ The men help Norwood to his feet and regain their formation before continuing on through the backstage area. ]
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
Interview with Ethan Tyler [ Scene opens up to the EWA interview studio. Sitting in a chair is Zed, while sitting across him from drinking from a glass of water is the EWA's newest full time star Ethan Tyler. Ethan has a huge band aid on his head from a cut he got last night. ]
Zed - Here I am with "The Underground Hero" Ethan Tyler. First question I have for you is this...How's it feel to finally be a part of the EWA?
Ethan Tyler - It feels good, and to be honest, not because I finally have a spot on the roster, but I actually slept easier knowing that I finally had security.
Zed - Let's talk about your opponent the other night, TBL.
Ethan Tyler - It's just like this..... When I heard that music hit, for once in my stay here, my hate for Tom Stone disappeared and it was replaced with the pure hatred I've grown from hearing all the stories.... That's all I'm going to say about him.. The ass isn't worth another two seconds of air time.
Zed - Numerous critics said that you went too far last night, what happened?
Ethan Tyler - Hate is a very strong thing, and last night it showed... I don't care how far I went, never do.... You see, that's what people don't understand. That's why I don't want to do hardcore wrestling.
Zed - What do you mean?
Ethan Tyler - Look, I pay attention to what goes on around me. People want to see me get hardcore, and as much as I would love to deliver it to them, I just can't do it.
Zed - Don't avoid the question, what do you mean you can't do it?
Ethan Tyler - When I go to the extreme measures for a match, it's like a stick of dynamite. Just wait for the explosion after the fuse is lit.... Last night the fuse ran out. The stick exploded and I brought out the hardcore.... and look what it did, it got someone hurt.
Zed - So you feel bad for what you did?
Ethan Tyler - I feel sorry for my actions, but not for who I did them to....
Zed - Well, with last night done and over with, what's next for Ethan Tyler?
Ethan Tyler - Don't think I've forgotten what Tom Stone has put me through... The only reason he gave me the match I did last night is because he knows me better than I thought.... Tom knew I'd kill TBL and he got rid of two birds with one Stone.... Make that one Tyler. Now that I am legally bound in the ranks of the EWA, things will only get worse now Tom. Thought me messing up some employees was bad? Thought me destroying your precious video screen was awful? Just wait Tom, I got a whole lot of surprises left.
Zed - But aren't you worried about what Chandler and Serial Thrylla? Stone now has some artillery to back up his words.
Ethan Tyler - Personally, I don't care. Both those boys got their own little grudges going on.. Just because the Saints can't win and Syracuse is known for two things, their jack and their shit, doesn't mean I should worry about them.
Zed - So basically what you're saying is you don't care who you piss off?
Ethan Tyler - No, let's just put it like this..... Steel toed boots are so big they'll step on a couple toes.
Zed - Needlessly cryptic comments from Ethan Tyler. Thank you Ethan and I look forward to following your career.
At Yesterdays House Show... [ The camera opens up on Howell's dressing room door. Sean Waltzer stands at it and knocks three times. Howell comes to open the door, and as he does, the five men grab him, restraining him against the wall as Waltzer closes the door and locks it behind him. ]
Sean Waltzer - Now that we have taken care of other business, you are next on our agenda, Howell. I do not know much about you, nor do I care to at this point in time. But one thing is for certain: no one attacks a member of The Phoenix Pentagon and gets away with it. Allow them to demonstrate what might happen if you try this again...
[ Waltzer nods his head and the men lift Howell into the air, each man grabbing either an arm or a leg, with Norwood holding Howell's head. The five men then drop down in absolutely perfect unison with Norwood landing a picture perfect Diamond Cutter type manuever on Howell. The men stand up as Howell lays on the ground writhing in pain. ]
Sean Waltzer - Whatever harm you dish out to one of my men shall be returned five-fold...you have just taken part of The Phoenix Pentagon Pitfall...perhaps you will not be so eager to discover the rest of it anytime soon...alright, men, move out!
[ The men form up once again and Waltzer leads them out of the room as the camera cuts back to the announcers' table. ]
Rachel Stevens - And Drew Norwood gets his revenge on Howell! It will be interesting to see where they're headed!
Zed - Now, we have an Interview with Arthryn, from yesterday's house show! Check it out!
At Yesterdays House Show... [ Hangman Jury explodes over the PA system. His belt shining over his shoulder, and his usual cocky grin accompany him as he makes his way down the ramp. The crowd are booing Arthryn after the events that transpired on Global Threat 2000. He holds a smile from ear to ear. Looking as his title belt slung over his right shoulder, he enters the ring and gets a mic ]
Arthryn - Oh just shut up! Shut the fuck up.
[ A chant starts throughout the arena. "Arthryn sucks dick, (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap)". The North American champion looks enraged. Focusing on a neutral point in the crowd, he points at a man chanting ]
Arthryn - Look here! We got a man there who's so fat, it's easier to jump over him than run around him. Good God man, get somthing. Get a liposuction, or get a bigger head, because you're disfigured. And how about that old bitch right there! You chant all of this because you can't help but notice how extremely hot I make you, old bitch. How about you get some motor oil or some WD-40 and pour it all over your pussy, 'cause quite honestly, you look like you haven't had some in a while, and there might even be cobwebs in there! Oh wait, now...I was told kids weren't allowed to be used in jokes here in the EWA. But look at that kid for crying out loud. He's asking to be shot right in between the eyes with that sad look. Kid, do you want me to execute you so I can put you out of your mysery? 'Cause boy, you're so ugly, if I totally dismantle you, you'd pay me for making a good surgery. 'Cause there's no way I could make you look worse than you already do, kid. Nothing personal though, just the truth.
[ The chant starts going stronger and stronger as Arthryn takes a deep breath. He is seen counting to 10, trying to calm down as the fans erupt in boos and that horrific chant "Arthryn sucks dick, (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap)" ]
Arthryn - See, I'm that kind of guy. I am a sincere guy. I will always be honest with you. Just like that kid out here, I will tell anyone the honest truth in the face. For example, I'll go ahead and show some more honesty. How about that beating I delivered to that piece of shit called Moral last sunday night? God, he must feel sick...he must be feeling... HOT! HAHAHAH! Oh God, I kill myself sometimes. So Moral, I truly gave you a lesson of what wrestling is all about. You wanted to play with fire, well you f'n got it. Never cross me. NEVER EVER again cross me. As for you fans...
[ The fans let him know what they think of him once more, as Arthryn just laughs it off this time around ]
Arthryn - You can all go to hell for all I care. Because you are all a bunch of marks, and you suck!
Fan - Arthryn, you suck!
Arthryn - Oh yeah? Well, if I suck, then you suck, so how about you suck on this? HAHAHAAHA, Shut up bitch! As I was saying, the future...the future is going to be full of surprises. MANY MANY SURPRISES! And basically that's bec...
[ The lights go out. A purple hue fills the arena ]
Eddie Sensation - HEY!! What's goin on??
[ "The Outlaw Torn" by Metallica begins to play, as a motorcycle is heard revving. The fans go crazy as they wait in anticipation. Then, he comes out, The Original Outlaw Vinny D, on his harley. He stops at the top of the ramp and revs the engine some more ]
The Informer - Looks like someone may be back for a little bit of payback for Sunday!!!
Eddie Sensation - Hey, call some security or something, get him out of here!!
Vic Canon - I don't think security would come to Arthryn's aid, nobody would, no one likes him.... Wait, there's a comotion going on in the stands, what is...... HEY, SOMEONE JUST HOPPED THE GUARDRAIL!!
Eddie Sensation - Who is that??
The Informer - It's still too dark to make the person out....
Eddie Sensation - Well, I hope whoever it is, they're on Arthryn's side, otherwise he might be in tro--
[ The lights go up. Then, Arthryn realizes that the man on the ramp is not Vinny D, but someone dressed like him. Arthryn doesn't realize, The Original Outlaw is behind him in the ring ]
The Informer - LOOK OUT, VINNY D IS STANDING BEHIND ARTHRYN!!
Vic Canon - THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT!!!
Eddie Sensation - Shut up Canon, just shut up!!
[ Vinny D taps Arthryn on the shoulder, Arthryn cautiously turns around, and is met with a stiff kick to the stomach ]
The Informer - What a kick!! Listen to these fans, they are going crazy, the love this!!
Vic Canon - Vinny D is hooking him up for Barel.... No, Vinny D is locking Arthryn into the Execution. HE'S GONNA PUT HIS OWN FINISHER ON HIM!!
Eddie Sensation - HA! some kind of original, he's gotta steal Arthryn finisher?!?!
Vic Canon - No... you see Eddie, that's what you call adding insult to injury!!
Eddie Sensation - ......SHUT UP!!
The Informer - DAMN DID HE EVER NAIL ARTHRYN WITH THAT MOVE!!
[ Vinny D stnds up after nailing Arthryn with his own finishing move, The Execution, then, Vinny D goes for a pin ]
Eddie Sensation - Hey, what's he doing?!?!
Vic Canon - He's covering Arthryn, and he's making a count!! 1....... 2....... 3!!! He just pinned the North American champ!! Wait, now he's grabbing the belt, what's this all about??
Eddie Sensation - There's no way!! He can't do that.... can he?!?!
Vic Canon - Well, he IS the commisioner...
Eddie Sensation - Yeah, some commisioner, attacking people from behind, then stealing!! Top notch job he's doing!!!
"The Original Outlaw" Vinny D - Hey Arthryn, at Global threat, you cost me my chance to win the EWA World Tournament, you took something from me.... Tonight, I take something from you...... your belt!!
Vic Canon - Well, they say revenge is sweet, looks like Vinny D is enjoying it!!
Eddie Sensation - Arthryn will get it back, he will, I guarantee it!!!
"The Original Outlaw" Vinny D - I ain't a hard man to find, so if you want this strap back, come get it!!!!
[ Vinny D leaves the ring, goes to his bike, and starts it up. He revs the engine, and rips down the ramp. He circles the ring, and leaves ]
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
Interview with Thorn
" ...Tokyo, Japan... " " ...Johannesberg, South Africa... "
" ...A blood stained, Johannesberg, South Africa... "
" ...'The Underground Hero' Ethan Tyler... "
" ....Divine... "
" ...War Cryme... "
" ....'The Original Outlaw' Vinny DiNardo... "
[ The camera fades in, we're very close to someone's face, we can only make out the right eye, some strands of hair, and the side of his mouth. ]
Thorn - The places I've gone. The people I've defeated. It was a long hard road. Jet lag... barf bags... loss of sleep. The things that hold you back, and that's not even mentioning wrestling. The sacrafices you make, the sacrafices you take. You look at that list of names, doesn't seem like much, but when you go from city to city, and you wake up in a new town every morning, a new time, a new day, sometimes you think your a whole new person with a whole new life. You don't recognize yourself when you look in the mirror, your hair's a mess, the black around your eyes, the occasionaly bumps and bruises, cuts and scrapes. You look deep into that mirror and try to figure out the person your seeing, if your seeing you... or a different you, or if it's even a mirror at all and your just staring at some stranger. When your on the outside looking in, everything seems so much prettier, the fame, the fortune, the opportunity. When your on the inside... all you wanna do is get out. Outside you don't have the struggle, the pain, the lesson's that you learn with each and every mistake you've made. You don't have to deal with the other people, the talkers, the fakers. They make you believe your something your not, they shun you and try and break you. I will not be broken. Only a day of fame, and I've already tried to be broken... first I was going to be one of them, you know... THOSE people. The ones that want there way, and HAVE to have it, or else... or else someone pays. Last night when they didn't have there way, someone paid that someone was me. Just another example of everyone trying to break someone else, trying to make someone snap so there's more room for them at the top. Make room.
[ Fade to black... ]
Zed - Some strong words from my buddy, Thorn! He just came off 2 wins at the PPV, which resulted in him winning the EWA World Tour Tournament! Congratulations Thorn!
Rachel Stevens - Yes, he deserves an applaud for that! Well fans, we've got to take a quick break... but first, check out what happened backstage yesterday with Divine!!!
Backstage Yesterday... [ El Gigante and his massive bodyguard Zoomer can be seen talking in the hallway outside the bathroom in the back. Zoomer suddenly gets a strange look on his face and grabs his stomach. ]
Zoomer - Oh man... hey Gigante... I gotta go to the bathroom man....
[ El Gigante laughs then walks down the hall. Zoomer runs into the bathroom as the Fu Man Crew comes around the corner. Chris Jericho, WaR CrYmE and Divine are all talking when Divine gets a strange smile on his face as he spots the men's room. ]
Divine - Umm.... I have some business I need to take care of....
WaR CrYmE - You gotta pinch a loaf?
Divine - Pinch a loaf... hmm... yes... I guess you could say I'm going to pinch something!!!
Chris Jericho - Alright, We'll meet up with you later!!
Divine - Toodles!!
[ The Fu Man Crew members high five and go their seperate ways. Divine walks into the men's room with a huge smile on his face and reaches deep into his pockets. He pulls out a large chain and begins to swing it gingerly. There is a man who is about ot urinate but spots Divine just as he's about to unzip. ]
Man - Oh... My... GOD!!!!!
[ The man flees from the bathroom as Divine starts to laugh. Just then Zoomer starts to yell from inside the stall. ]
Zoomer - Aww, keep your "Oh My God's" to yourself asshole!!! Like you never had to take a massive shit before!!! If you dont like the smell go to hell!! HAHA!!
Divine - Mmmmm.....
[ Divine holds in a girlish giggle then uses that long chain to make sure the stall is locked from the outside. After Divine finishes locking the stall with a padlock. He gets on his hands and knees then sticks his head under the door ]
Divine - Hello sir, I'm a member of the Poop Patrol and I was wondering if you prefer leaves or tiolet paper?
Zoomer - WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?
[ Zoomer kicks Divine in the head then jumps up and puts his pants on. Divine staggers to his feet as he rubs his eyes. ]
Divine - oooh.... OUCH!! I dont know what's nastier... the smell or the fact that you just put your pants on without whiping your ass!! Oh well... all that shit will lube my meat up nicely!! That sucker will shoot right up there!!!
Zoomer - YOU SICK BASTARD!!! What the hell... I'm locked in here!!!
Divine - YES!! And now....
[ Divine begins to unzip his pants and the camera quickly pans upwards. The sound of some liquid can be heard hitting the floor as Zoomer begins to yell. ]
Zoomer - Wha... AW SHIT!! YOU FUDGE PACKING FRUIT CAKE!!! YOU'RE PISSING ON MY FIVE HUNDRED DOLLAR BOOTS!!! YOU'RE SO FUCKING DEAD!!!
[ Divine finishes and lets out a long sigh. You can see that Zoomer is trying to stand on the tiolet to avoid getting his boots more soaked in urine. Once both of Zoomer's feet are on the tiolet a slipping noise can be heard followed by a loud "Plop!" ]
Zoomer - You gotta be fucking kidding me!!
Divine - OH!! That's even worse than stepping in dog shit!! It's gonna take awhile to clean those botties off!! But now that you're foot is stuck... I think now might be a good time to come in...
[ Divine gets ready to take the lock off when El Gigante walks into the bathroom. ]
El GiGante - Hey Zoomer, you almost.... WHAT THE HELL?!?
[ El Gigante realizes what's about to go down and charges at Divine. Divine and El Gigante begin to brawl in front of the stall when Zoomer begins to yell. ]
Zoomer - Look out!!!
[ Zoomer losses his balance and crashes through the door, landing right on top of El Gigante and Divine. Zoomer's large foot that was stuck in the tiolet causes it to break and water, along with some other objects begin to flow onto the bathroom floor. Zoome and El Gigante begin to double team Divine just as Jericho and WaR CrYmE walk into the bathroom. ]
Chris Jericho - Hey Divine, buddy, what the hell are you doing in here?
WaR CrYmE - HOLY SHIT!!
[ WaR CrYmE and Jericho rush to Divine's aid as El Gigante and Zoomer flee from the bathroom. Chris Jericho and WaR CrYmE help their fellow Fu Man Crew member to his feet and begin to talk. ]
Chris Jericho - What the hell happened?!?
Divine - All I wanted to know is what kind of tiolet paper he used!!!!!
WaR CrYmE - Wow... I've never seen so much shit in my life!! Look at it...
Chris Jericho - What do you mean look at it... we're standing in it!!! And Divine... you're wearing it!!!
Divine - Oh... it's not the first time I've been covered in another man's shit...
[ Just then Tom Stone walks into the bathroom with a newspaper. Stone looks like he's ready to do some business when he slips on a large tird and lands on his back hard. Stone gets to his feet slowly and realizes his priceless suit his now soiled with fecal matter. The EWA owner slowly turns around to see the Fu Man Crew and loses it. ]
Tom Stone - Why you rotten... no good... SONS OF BITCHES!!! WHEN I SIGNED YOU FUCKS TO CONTRACTS, DID IT STATE ANYWHERE THAT YOU WERE TO VANDALIZE BATHROOMS?!?!? No.. no... NO! FUCK the bathroom... WHO'S GONNA PAY FOR MY SUIT?!?!?
Chris Jericho - HAHAH!!! Take it easy Tim, it wasnt even us, it was the mexican and his boyfriend!
Tom Stone - What THE FUCK are you talking about?
WaR CrYmE - El Gigante and Zoomer... they tried to give Divine a swirly or something and he faught back.
[ Tom Stone gets a strange look on his face as he looks at Divine who is covered in shit from head to toe. ]
Tom Stone - And what's your story?!?
Divine - ........
Tom Stone - What the hell is wrong with him?!?
Chris Jericho - I think the sight of you covered with shit is turning him on!!
[ Stone ignores the comment ]
Tom Stone - El Gigante did this to you Divine?!? Well next week on HEAT, you two bastards can settle it in the ring, how's that?!?!? Oh yeah... and how about we put a bucket of shit on a poll to spice things up a little bit? First man to pour the shit on the other wins!!
WaR CrYmE - A SHIT match?!?!?!
Divine - What's spicy about that Tom?? If you want to see a poopy match just watch Tiki Tortez!!!
Tom Stone - SHUT UP!! Any more questions, or would you three like to go vandalize some more public restrooms?!?
Divine - Yes... who will be supplying the shit for next week's match... will it be you?!?
Tom Stone - ......AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[ Stone rushes out of the bathroom as the camera fades. ]
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
Rachel Stevens - Welcome back to Heat folks...
[ A faint beaping can be heard... rather irritating at that. DiMarco motions for Rachel to go check it out ... while Zed mocks him with the girly hand motions. Rachel shrugs and walks out into the hallway... ]
Voice - Miss ... MISS! OVER HERE MISS!!
[ A familiar face pops into the camera's view. Its "The Losing Legend" Scott Sanders, BrinK's old friend ... and HY2k bitch! He is dressed up all in leather, and sitting atop a yellow mo-ped. He has a letter in hand and pushes it towards Stevens... ]
Scott Sanders - Here ya go girly! This is a NOTICE from Da Bj BOYZ ... make sure the fans at home can see!
[ Rachel grabs the letter from Sanders outstreched hand. He then beaps.... and rides away. She shakes her head as she opens up the notice. The camera man goes behind her back to catch a glimpse of the letter... ]
President Senior Stone,
I am writing this letter to explain why I refuse to submit my promo for this week. When we inked our deal of Da Bj BOYZ return, we promised to give you our all out best to entertain; but Sir Stone, how is this possible at an Aftermath show? A total waste of air time, and we express this GREATLY. We want to get people's attention! But we can't do that FREELY on some taped piece of trash! We are above this ... and the reason we have decided to grace the EWA with our tag team excellence again cannot be described in such a manner.
American Pride, eh?? Where are our dignity these days?? American's turning their back on a country, is pathetic!! And it makes us SICK TO OUR STOMACHS!
Who led this whole ordeal?? The very men we put in CHECK last time ... the members of Team Ballz ... Chandler and Thrylla. They started this whole thing, and made others talk trash on the land of opportunity.
To make things worse you have embarrased us ... and we have been very emotional since we saw how ugly The Regulators are. Its worse than I could EVER remember. ONCE AGAIN, they get to outshine the very men that defeated them! And its all your fault Simone Stone ... you cock sweat! We feel "violated," as in dropping the soap in a prison ... and YOU LET IT HAPPEN!
Thats besides, the point ... we would rather have our sperm donated to Somalia than give you an interview on "The Aftermath." What will sperm do??? Its pretty much useless to the tribesmen ... but its fun producing the actual SPERM! Next week Timmy, that is where we will begin, on a LIVE! Tuesday Night Heat! Only then will we shocase such talent in the tag team rankings the world has been missing for WAY too long now...
Sincerely,
The Super Kress Bros., The Innovators of Tag Team Wrestling, The Kress Express, the one and only ... Bj BOYZ
P.S. I would like some ketchup bottles availabe in our dressing room Tuesday. With something as wonderful as hunger, we will totally benefit, instead of taking packets from various fast food joints. Adios.
BJ
At Yesterdays House Show... [ Arthryn can be seen, off in a corner, keeping inconspicuous and dressing up in some sort of stunt gear. A hard plastic covered jump suit, that looks like it is made for stunt bikers and such. Then a limo pulls up, Arthryn sprints to the limo, removes the drives, ddt's the driver into the concrete, and drops him into a garbage bin. Arthryn then jumps into the driver's seat of the limo ]
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
Early Monday Morning... [ Scene cuts to Moochie who is lying in a hospital bed. A nurse injects what seems to be even more morphine into him and then leaves. Moochie gets a sheepish smile on his face and then stares at the camera. An unknown interviewer comes up to Moochie. He has a name tag that reads 'Kuntz'. ]
Kuntz - Hello.Todd Kuntz here with the hospitalized Moochie. Now Moochie.what have the doctors said about your condition? Can you wrestle?
Moochie - Ehhh.what Ninfa? Get your Chilean Leprechaun ass out of here. And don't you dare try and steal me Lucky Charms you no good bastard.
Kuntz - Excuse me?
Moochie - YOU KNOW DAMN RIGHT! You bastard. Don't you dare try and touch deez nuts meng. I know you and your friend Denzel Washington are up to no good! You just want to take over dee world and shiot.
Kuntz - Mr. Moochie! Are you or are you not able to wrestle?
Moochie - You cannot handle dee truth Ninfa! You fucking Chilean!
Kuntz - My name isn't Ninfa! And I am not Chilean either! What on Earth are you talking about?
Moochie - AHHH! Get that shrubbery out of my sight!
Kuntz - Do you mean this plastic plant over in the corner?
Moochie - AHHH! Just SHUT UP! You stupid Chilean! Just take your leprechaun ass outta here. I am a poor poor Mexican. I cannot move mah neck. Just don't beat me with dee purple bananas. I am begging! NO PURPLE BANANAS! Dey hurt meng! I'd rather have Divine take his horny frustrations out on me dan dose purple bananas!
Kuntz - What on EARTH are you talking about?
Moochie - NOOOOO! PLEASE GOD! NOOOOOO!
Kuntz - MR. MOOCHIE! CAN YOU OR CAN YOU NOT WRESTLE?
Moochie - Not dee purple banana!
Kuntz - I'll beat you with the pink banana if you don't tell me!
Moochie - HAHA! You said pink banana. You be queer meng. Go to a gay bar Ninfa.you stupid leprechaun.
Kuntz - I mean purple!
[ Just then a doctor walks in. ]
Doctor - No! He won't be able to wrestle! He's drugged up you morons!
Kuntz - There goes my future job.
[ Scene cuts... ]
Rachel Stevens - And there you see it... Moochie will be in the hospital for a few weeks, after that brutal assault at the Pay Per View!
Zed - Yeah... GiGante and ZOOMER did a number on him! But, they didnt do a GOOD ENOUGH job, because he's still alive!
Rachel Stevens - ZED!!! THATS NOT NICE!!!!
Zed - Haha!! Well fans, here's an interview with Drew Norwood.... check it out.
At Yesterdays House Show... [ The arena blacks out as "There Goes The Neighborhood" by Sheryl Crow begins to come out over the loudsystem. Hunter green spotlights flood the arena and alert sirens begin to sound as The Phoenix Pentagon walks out through the curtain, led as usual by Sean Waltzer. The fans cheer loudly as the men make their way to the ring, Waltzer stopping to grab a microphone from the ring announcer. They climb in the ring, and as the music cuts off, the cheers of the fans is even more deafening than originally intended as the men stand at perfect attention. Waltzer apparently makes an "at ease" order at them as they assume a more relaxed position. ]
Sean Waltzer - EWA, tonight you have witnessed what is possibly to become of many of you, if you make the mistake of attacking one of my men. I trust that each of you realizes it is a high price to pay for the mistake if you make it, as Howell as already discovered tonight. But, I know that the fans have not come here to listen to me ramble on, so I now turn this over to Lieutenant Commander Drew Norwood. Lieutenant Commander...
[ Waltzer hands the microphone to Norwood, who now assumes the center of the ring. The fans erupt once again, and conveniently, the replays of his attack on Fallen Angel and Travis Gaines at Global Threat appear on the split screen, causing the fans to cheer even louder. Norwood cracks a small smile, then reassumes his serious manner. ]
"Shadowhawk" Drew Norwood - The Extreme Wrestling Association has finally gotten the chance to witness a group of dedicated men...men dedicated to the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!
[ Huge pop from the crowd in attendance. ]
"Shadowhawk" Drew Norwood - I know it seems lately that America has only gotten the rotten end of the deal. Team Ballz comes out week after week putting down this fine country that granted them independance, and now, Tom Stone, a pure Canadian, has joined their efforts, thus completing his sinister plot to make each and every American hate him with their entire being...and it has worked to perfection, which is what he was wanting to happen.
[ The crowd boos at the mention of Team Ballz and Stone, but Norwood holds up a hand to silence them. ]
"Shadowhawk" Drew Norwood - If you think I came out here tonight to simply aggravate Team Ballz, then you are wrong.
[ More boos from the crowd. ]
"Shadowhawk" Drew Norwood - However, I have come out here to tell everyone in the back that I have trained with the best of the best to get ready for the fiercest competition that I might have to face in the EWA. I am mentally focused, physically fit, and spiritually filled to the point where anything you throw at me will get thrown back with more intensity than you will be able to handle. And to anyone that thinks they can prove me wrong, I welcome the opportunity to show my strength to you. I am technically sound, but I can exhibit power as you saw Sunday Night at Global Threat. And with the backup support that I have, no one that you throw at the side will prevent me from taking you apart piece by piece until you recognize and respect my power and ability.
[ The crowd pops for Norwood as the confidence around him seems to radiate. ]
"Shadowhawk" Drew Norwood - I earned my codename "Shadowhawk" for my efforts in a counter-sniping offensive in Bosnia, but the EWA shall be given a new reason to refer to me by my second name. When you step into the ring, there are 2 things that are for certain. First, you shall learn to respect my ability and the technical prowess that I bring to the ring. Second, you shall learn that my power translates into a fierocity that none will be able to prevent from overtaking them. So what you each have to do is ask yourselves one simple question...
[ The camera zooms in on Norwood for a closeup as he wraps up his spot. ]
"Shadowhawk" Drew Norwood - Are you prepared to take the Silent Flight?
[ Norwood hands the microphone back to Waltzer and returns to formation as Waltzer orders them back to attention before tossing the microphone back to the announcer. The men then head to the backstage area, again marching in unison, as the fans flood the arena with their loud cheers. The camera view shifts back to the commentating crew. ]
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
At Yesterdays House Show... [ Vince Di Nardo is shown, bags on hands, as he is ready to leave. He's walking towards a door that says in big bold letters "EXIT". An EWA crew member approaches Vince Di Nardo ]
Crew Member - Mr. Di Nardo, we have gotten you a limousine for your departure.
"The Original Outlaw" Vinny D - Fuckin shit man........ I shouldn't be takin no fucking limos..... I swear I'm gonna fucking get Arthryn for what he did to my bike........
[ Vinny D heads over to the limousine, where the door is open. He enters the limousine, and the camera angle shifts towards the front of the limo. As the driver's window is lowered, Arthryn is revealed as the driver, with a huge grin on his face. He steps on the gas and heads towards a wall located on the outside of the arena. Arthryn opens his door and jumps out of the limo and rolls off to safety before the impact. CRACK!! The limo, on impact folds, Arthryn then goes to a corner and grabs a 2 x 4, he stands with a huge grin on his face, in front of the back door. The door opens, and The Original Outlaw steps out, as soon as Vinny D steps out, Arthryn swings at his head. The 2 x 4 cracks in half, and Vinny D is knocked unconcious. The camera zooms in as Arthryn picks up his belt ]
Arthryn - VINCE! THIS BELT HAS ARTHRYN WRITTEN ALL OVER IT! WANNA KNOW WHY! 'CAUSE IT BELONGS TO THE TECHNICAL MACHINE, TO THE ARTHRYNIAN ONE, IT BELONGS TO ARTHRYN. SO DONT FUCK WITH ME, VINNY D! OR I'LL JUST SLAP YOU SILLY JUST LIKE I SHOULD'VE DONE TO THAT KID SITTING ON THE CROWD!!!
Rachel Stevens - OH NO!!! ARTHRYN JUST RAMMED THAT LIMO INTO A WALL!!!!
Zed - Calm down Rachel! Vince is alive... you just saw him! Just a little knocked up!
Rachel Stevens - Arthryn will pay for this!
Zed - Yeah yeah! Well fans, here it is! You've been waiting all night... THE REGULATORS!
Interview with The Regulators [ The scene opens with a shot of Johnny Rage sitting on chair in what looks like a lockerroom... As we focus on Rage, a narrator begins to voice over ]
Narrator - Sunday was a big night for Johnny Rage and Rick Ramos. These two men, who collectively make up The Regulators, made their return to a place they vowed never to have anything to do with ever again. What could possibly bring these two men back---
Johnny Rage - Hey, Craiggers, shaddap.
...
..
.Narrator - What?
Johnny Rage - You heard me Craiggers, I know thats you.
Narrator - Umm...no, its...its not me.
Johnny Rage - Craiggers, not only do I recignize your voice, I can also see you.
[ The camera pans over just a little bit to the left, where Craig Hahn stands off to the side, microphone in hand, reading off a peice of paper ]
Craig Hahn - DAMMIT JOHNNY! Why couldn't you have played along just once? I'm trying to make a return to legit broadcasting! You ruined me in the FCA...I haven't been able to find work since!!!
Johnny Rage - Dood, calm yourself. And stop speaking in italics. Its annoying.
Craig Hahn - Sorry Johnny.
[ Rick Ramos saunters into the room ]
Rick Ramos - Grunt?
Johnny Rage - Yes, you can go play outside with the little kids.
Rick Ramos - [Jumps up and down, grunting in glee] GruntGruntGrunt!!! [Ramos scampers away]
Johnny Rage - We are so going to have a lawsuit on our hands.
Craig Hahn - Yeah, I mean, those little girls are so cute, sometimes I just wanna play with them ya know?
Johnny Rage - ...
Craig Hahn - No! I didn't mean it like that!!!
Johnny Rage - ...
Craig Hahn - F*CK.
Johnny Rage - Anyway...now that you are here, would you like to interview me? I mean, hell, might as well give you a shot to break back into legit television...well, as legit as being a backstage interviewer for a wrestling federation is.
Craig Hahn - Hey, if I keep at this long enough, Black Entertainment Television may come a knocking on my dood.
Johnny Rage - Not bloody likely Craiggers, Blacks won't have anything to do with your white ass...outside of a prison setting of course.
Craig Hahn - Lets not get into that.
[ From the outside ]
Little Boy - YOU ARE A BIG POOPHEAD MISTER!!!
Rick Ramos - GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUNT!!!
CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK Little Boy - MY FEMUR!!!!
Johnny Rage - Sh*t...Ok, I have to focus. A-Hem. Craiggers, start off this shit.
Craig Hahn - Johnny, last night you did something you vowed never to do---
Johnny Rage - You can alter the question a little bit...I mean, its almost the exact same way you opened this thing. Christ man.
Craig Hahn - Sorry. [Begins flipping through his notes] OK, why did you leave?
Johnny Rage - Hokles, this ones for you. [Rage contorts his face, and suddenly, he is the picture of concentration and intensity]
Craig Hahn - You consipated dood?
Johnny Rage - [Through grit teeth] NO, I'm FOCUSING!
Craig Hahn - Cause you look like you are trying to pinch a massive loaf.
Johnny Rage - NO! I'M BEING SERIOUS!!! GRR! Anyway, Here goes. A-hem. June Six, Ninteen Hundred and Ninety Nine. On that date, Rick and I walked out to the ring at a house show, cut what we thought was the last promo of our EWA lives, left our tag belts in the ring, and walked out of the arena, stopping to tell Stone we quit on our way out. Why did we do this? Perhaps the reason was never properly explained to you fans. Basically, we were never given our recignition. It was always the Thrylla and Chandler show...and when they both left, it was the Revolution X show...Tomas never gave us the ball. He was content to keep us on the back burner, even while we were the only men in his fed who gave him nearly a year's worth of hard work straight, no stopping. No "retirements" no "vanishes" none of that. So, as you can understand why, we were feeling under appraciated. I mean, we could only be Garfunkel for so long, ya know.
Craig Hahn - I know exactly how you feel.
Johnny Rage - [Glares at him]
Craig Hahn - Well, in the FCA, Joe Fallon was getting all the work, while I toiled backstage doing all the, pardon the pun, grunt work.
Johnny Rage - Well, I guess you do have a point. Anyway, then, we saw our oppertunity. Dave Fienjew was starting a new fed...it was to be full of top talent..big names...a place where we would be noticed and appreacated! And you know what? We went there...and we succeeded. We won tag gold...while icons like Thrylla did a couple of guest ref'ing spots,and Chandler had one cameo on one card, then faded away. We all know what eventually happened from there. FWF, BLW, NHBWF...we tried all those out...we won a couple of belts, and then, satisfied with how our career was, we retired. Rick and I hung it up. I enjoyed retirement, I sat around, slept every day till about 11:00, woke up, watched The Price is Right, jerked off, it was a good life. Rick got a job teaching kidnergarden, he loves working and playing with kids.
[ Heard from outside... ]
Little Girl - Umm, missa, I don't tink you should be touchin me dere. Ohh...OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Rick Ramos - Grunt Grunt Grunt.
Johnny Rage - F*ck. RICK! GET INSIDE!!! NOW! Sorry about that Craig.
Craig Hahn - So what exactly brought you back?
Johnny Rage - Well...
[ SLAM ]
Johnny Rage - Rick, don't pout.
Rick Ramos - Grunt.
Johnny Rage - I don't care if she wanted it...its statatory rape...[mumble]J[mumble]
Craig Hahn - What was that?
Johnny Rage - Nothing. Now, what brought us back? Isn't it obvious? The two men who we considered our best friends in the world brought us back. First, they took a crew that THE FOUR OF US started, and reformed it around us...then, their actions have been dispicable. They disgraced the Team Ballz name...they disgraced everything we ever stood for. Hey, camera guy, do me a favor...pan over a little to the right, and zoom in.
[ The camera pans over to a spot slightly over Rages shoulder and zooms in. Framed, hanging on the wall of Rage's house is his TEAL and FUSCIA Team Ballz jersey, with an "A" over the left shoulder of the jersey ]
Johnny Rage - That is an ORIGNAL Team Ballz jersey...orignal Team Ballz colors. On the back it says "RAGE" in Block Lettering and with a number. That was Team Ballz...what Chandler and Thrylla have going on now isn't Team Ballz...its a disgrace, a sick, pathetic---
Voice - WHO LET THE DOGS OUT? HOO HOO HOO HOO!!!
Johnny Rage - RICK, WILL YOU TURN DOWN THAT FUCKING SONG!!!
Rick Ramos - [Gets his swereve on]
Johnny Rage - I HATE THAT SONG!!!
Rick Ramos - [Sings along] GRUNT GRUNT GRUNT GRUNT GRUNT GRUNT!!!
Baha Men - HOO HOO HOO HOO!!!
Johnny Rage - TURN THAT OFF!!! MY GOD, HAVE YOU GOTTEN STUPIDER IN RETIREMENT?
Rick Ramos - [Turns down the music] Grunt.
Johnny Rage - Oh, just less smart. Thats cool. Anyway, Thrylla, Chandler, I can't let this happen. We came back for a reason, and reason, is to beat some sense into you two. I think I know you guys better then anyone on this planet. Thrylla, Chandler, you guys came to the ring at Hellacious Halloween and celebrated with us after we won our first title. Chandler, after you won the gold for the first time, it was Rick and I who carried you out of the arena on our shoulders. Thrylla, remember the 4/20 Tuesday Night Heat? The one where the main event was an injured Thrylla vs Danger Inc? Do you remember who came to save you? Us. Chandler, after you won your first title, do you remember who you defended your title against the first time? Me. Guys, we have history. In the ring, and out of it. We've partied, we've chilled...its a shame it has to be this way...but now we are going to have to pound the shit out of you. Sorry boys. Craiggers, we are done here. Peace out.
[ The EWA Video Wall goes black. A series of commercials of EWA sponcers are shown. ]
[ Tuesday Night Heat returns from commercial break to a completely black screen. That Oh-so-familiar voice is back to accompany us. ]" ... In Chaos and Riots ... "
[ Serial Thrylla utters the preceeding with a chilling intent, sending shockwaves down the spines of those who have felt the wrath of Team Ballz. ]
" ... We took America's Pride, We took wrestling's holy grail. And most importantly... We took control of the EWA ... "
[ Chandler utters those malicious facts with an arrogant and almost playful swagger that has personified Team Ballz. ]
" ... Thrylla said it best: You're all nothing more than mindless drones. We control everyone's destiny ... "
[ Tom Stone finishes off the opening montage with a dose of reality. Team Ballz really is in control. ]
" P-R-O-P-H-E-C-Y ... A word that has been uttered for 2 years around wrestling. It refers to Team Ballz... and in Tokyo, Japan... Another chapter was written and released for the public to see. "
[ Chandler begins to re-hash the events of the Sunday night. ]
" We have a lot in common. We're all rich, we all hate America, we hate mindless morons.. and most importantly, we all share a common genius. I pulled the wool over the eyes of my company. Why turn my back on all of my employees? It's real simple.... "
[ As the voice of Tom Stone finishes his sentence, All three men chime in simultaneously. ]
" ...TEAM BALLZ BRINGS RATINGS... "
[ Serial Thrylla follows. ]
" Show us the money. Tom Stone deserves an academy award for his acting job the last few weeks. First off... Who the hell do you think gave us the television air time to drop such controversial opinions??? Do you think we got approval from Fenichel?? Watkins?? Maybe even Diamante??? Hell no. We went straight to the top, and hatched a plan to purge the world of the idiots... Leaving only those with true genius left. "
[ A laughter is heard in the background as Thrylla finishes delivering his nugget of truth. ]
" Ha.. Ha... Tom Stone screws me over for the title??? No. More like Tom Stone sets the Fu Man Crew up for a big fall. July 11th was not a schmozz.... July 30th was the true schmozz job.. The Ultimate Dusty finish if you will... The true schmozz began on July 18th. Over 35 of the world's most dangerous men were locked inside of a conference hall in South Africa... While Thrylla and myself ravaged an entire staff. We shook the EWA to it's fucking collective core. Ask any EWA member what July 18th means to them..... Each one will tell you it was the scariest experience of their lives. "
[ The true arrogance in Chandler's voice rang through on that rant.. However, more of the story is yet to come. ]
" July 18th... the night I played dead. Did anyone actually see Team Ballz attack me? Hell no they didn't. All you people saw was my body laying in a pool of blood... Stage blood. That just proves how stupid you are all really are. Hell, I even helped Thrylla lock the other door... Then July 25th, the infamous Tuesday Night Ballz... Completely the scariest 7 days in EWA history. I flipped the bill for that entire brand new staff.. for one night only. I made my "triumphat" return... I fired Team Ballz and burned their contracts live on national television.... Promising I'd reveal my big surprise at Global Threat. Little did you know, the three of us met after the show and I presented them with brand new, near 8 figure deals. Needless to say, they were offers niether Chandler or Thrylla could refuse. "
[ Tom Stone continues.. ]
" July 30th, what a beautiful night! I joined Team Ballz. Sometimes actions do speak far louder than words... I deliver my BLOCKBUSTER announcement... not with an awe inspiring oration.. but with one well planted chair shot on the head of Chris Jericho. "
[ Serial Thrylla picks up were Tom left off. ]
" Thing of beauty, isn't it?? However, that's not all that happened Sunday night. 5 men signed their collective death certificates. Lets run down the list of violators, shall we?.... The Kress Brothers, what a fucking joke, you two are nothing more than cheap rip offs of two other men I'll get to in a minute... Thorn.. you made the biggest mistake of your life. Not only would you have been accepting the Team Ballz jersey, the most important piece of cloth in the wrestling world, but you would have been walking into a totally new lifestyle. You would be accepting a 7 figure contract, the glitz, the glamour, and most importantly you would have released yourself from the grasp of these mindless drones, reclaiming your mental freedom.... Instead, you pissed us off. We already made an example out of the Fu Man Crew... Thorn, you're the next exhibit. "
[ Chandler finishes. ]
" Last but not least.... The Regulators. Ramos and Rage... You two sicken me. Your bond with the people is stronger than your bond with Team Ballz. The colors in the American flag may run, but the color in the Team Ballz jersey don't. You morons have no sense of history, no sense of tradition, and no sense of loyalty. You will both dealt with in due time my friends.... in due... fucking.... time. "
