[Blackout.]

[The familiar 5 red and silver pyro bombs explode, followed by the words "P R O P H E C Y" on the background of a burning American flag on the EWA Jumbotron. "Everything's Cool" by Pop Will Eat Itself begins to play as Serial Thrylla, clad in black Nike sneakers, dark red tear away pants, brand new Black on Silver on black Team Ballz hockey jersey, and black Oakley sunglasses makes his way towards the ring.]

Serial Thrylla - Good evening fans!!! I'm your party host... your role model... your paragon of virtue.. your AYATOLLAH.. or ROCK N ROLLA...

[The crowd boos loudly at Thrylla mocking their hero.]

Serial Thrylla - AND THE MAN.. along with the help of Chandler.. that put Chris Jericho out of business. SERIAL THRYLLA.... Tonight, I welcome you all to cable televisions HOTTEST show... Sydney, Australia put your hands together for TUESDAY NIGHT BALLZ.

[Wrestling hasn't heard this many boos since Diamante in Shreveport.]

Serial Thrylla - Thank you! Thank you! Unfortunately, almost the entire EWA staff could not make it to beautiful Sydney tonight. It appears a horrible outbreak of injuries have occured and that is why numerous FINE individuals could not make it here tonight. However, HAVE NO FEAR... For Team Ballz is HERE! Chandler and I took it upon ourselves to bring you a VERY SPECIAL edition of Tuesday Night Ballz. As a matter of fact, we went out... and found THE BEST this industry has to offer. Without further ado.. please join me in welcoming.... your Cajun hero... CHANDLER!

[5 Red and Silver pyro bombs illuminate the Austrialian crowd as "Bulls on Parade" begins to play. Chandler walks out wearing his Japanese karate pants, Team Ballz black on silver on black hockey jersey, and an LSU Tigers baseball cap turned backwards.]

Serial Thrylla - Welcome Chandler.. to T-N-B. Why don't you tell the people what we have in store tonight.

Chandler - First off Sydney.. I would like to cordially invite all of you to go fuck yourselves.

[Loudest boos of the night thus far.]

Chandler - Next... I would just like to inform you all how unfortunate it is that 95% of the EWA pay roll is missing tonight.. It's a damn shame. But like my compadre said, fear not! We have some very very viable replacements.

Serial Thrylla - What do these replacements have in common? They've all been screwed over by Tom Stone.. Starting with our first special guest of tonight... The absolute GREATEST ring announcer of all time.. Please help welcome, and Chris Myers, eat your heart out.Former EWA ring announcer.. JOHNNY BONES!

["Everything's Cool" by Pop Will Eat Itself begins to play as Johnny Bones makes his way to the ring.]

Chandler - Oh, we ain't done by a long shit. We got a couple more blasts from the past. However, I'm going to let Johnny do the honors now.

Johnny Bones - Thank you Chandler and thank you Thrylla. INTRODUCING FIRST... Former EWA television announcer extraordanaire!!! Screwed by Tom Stone and shunned by the wrestling industry. Tonight, he has returned to reclaim his throne as the BEST DAMN COMMENTATOR IN THE BUSINESS. Please welcome to Tuesday Night Ballz.. THE REAL T-D-S, None other than.. PAUL DIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAMMOOOOND!

["Bulls on Parade" begins to play as Paul Diamond, decked out in his very own Team Ballz jersey, makes his way to the ring.]

Serial Thrylla - Yo... T-D-S, tell em what you got to say.

Paul Diamond - THANK YOU TEAM BALLZ... Hey Tom, Hope the head is okay! Canon and Sensation, I hope your both fucking dead! THE COMMENTATOR MESSIAH HAS RETURNED BABY!!!!!!!

Serial Thrylla - And that folks.. is the real Diamond Studd, Diamante doesn't have a thing on you man. Next up Johnny!!!

Johnny Bones - This man was THE REFEREE in the EWA; until last September when he was BLACKBALLED by Tom Stone and forced to leave the company. Lee Flemming, Lance King... Niether one of you are even in this man's league. SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA.. put your hands together for none other than.. MIKE HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN-TER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

["Everything's Cool" begins to play as 'The Judge, Jury, and Execution", former EWA referee, Lance King makes his way to the ring.]

Chandler - Ohhhh... this is far from over every show needs a backstage interviewer right?????? Take it away J-Bones.

Johnny Bones - PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER.. FOR SHREVEPORT'S OWN...... STUTTERING R-O-D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

["Bulls on Parade" begins to play as all 350lbs. of the Stuttering R.O.D. makes his way to the ring, clad in a pure white pimp suit and a white top hate.]

Chandler - MAH NIGGAH R.O.D., drop english...

Stuttering R.O.D. - T-t-t-t-t-h-h-h-h-a-a-n. THANK YOU CLAYTON. I-i--i-t.. PLEASURE.. It's pleasure. c-c-c-h-ILLIN.. with you a-a-a-gain. S-s-s-s-s-s-s to you Th-h-h-h-h

Serial Thrylla - Thrylla.... thank you very much R.O.D. Now next up...

[Suddenly, "Personal Jesus" by Depeche Mode begins to play as Zed makes his way out to the ring for a huge pop.]

Chandler - Wrong god damn time Zed... another step and we'll have a replay of last week's incident.

Zed - Whoa whoa.. Hold on brotha. I don't want any of Team Ballz. It just dawned on me that you guys need another interview anchor backstage. And, because I've retired from wrestling and taken a career in journalism, I would like to offer my services to you folks. Whadd'ya say?

[Thrylla and Chandler both look at ROD, who's trying to get something out and can't and nod at each other.]

Serial Thrylla - You got it... Now get the hell out of here, we got business to take care of. In the mean time, I'd like to direct your attention to the video screen, look at all the new employees we hired for this weeks show.

[All of the new EWA interns are not wearing the traditional EWA polo shirt, but the Black and silver colors of Team Ballz jerseys. We cut back to the ring and notice Chandler is walking towards the back.]

Serial Thrylla - Those colors look damn good, don't they Sydney? For just one moment, I'd like to draw your attention to this very ring canvas.. Just simply soiled with blood stains? Absolutely not. This blood is special. It represents the last blood the EWA ever shed. It represents the death of one era and the birth of a new one.

[At the top of the ramp, we see Chandler dragging a battered Informer towards the ring.]

Serial Thrylla - And look, Chandler is back, with our friend The Informer.... the last of that old and dead era. Hey, I-Form.. Take a look around. It's a new fucking ball game now. And tonight, we're gonna make you call the action with the very partner you helped black ball almost a year ago.

[The camera pans around the arena. Tuesday Night Ballz banners are in place of the usual Tuesday Night Heat banners.]

Serial Thrylla - So... I-Form, what do you think of the re-decorating job?

The Informer - FFFUUUUUCCKKKKK YYOOOUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Paul Diamond slaps The Informer right across the face.]

Chandler - We thought you'd like it. Before we forget, I just wanna remind everyone.. that not only are we running the show.. We're booking the show. We have the following card lined up for you.

Serial Thrylla - THE JOBBER BATTLE ROYAL! Hopefully, they'll all kill each other.

Chandler - The Highly Conceited Bastards versus Bry2k and The Big Hack Daddy.

Serial Thrylla - And just because we're that friggin nice... we'll continue the World Tour Tournament.. The Hustler v. The Wildman

Chandler - How about that faggot "TDG" Travis Gaines against that other faggot Fallen Angel?

Serial Thrylla - Well.. I'll match your faggots are raise you a War Cryme versus Lorenzo Hayes.. Or a dead man and a hollywood vagina.

Chandler - What about El Gigante vs. "Tricky" Tiki Tortez?? Sound good slappy?

Serial Thrylla - How about round 2 of the world tour tounrey continued.... Thorn vs. The Homosexual, and Nomad versus Howell? Maybe they can all kill each other

Chandler - And finally.. I think I'll round it out with Reckless vs. Pegasus Warrior.. 2 guys I know you cannot stand to be around.

Serial Thrylla - We'll make that no DQ too. How's that Sydney?? Don't like us? Too bad, you have to live with us.

Ethan Tyler - Well, quite simply, I don't..... I don't even know what kind of match I'm going in to for God's sake, where's the format?

Zed - Well, you're scheduled to be in a Battle Royal.

Ethan Tyler - Who else is in it?

Zed - Seems like a couple of new guys.... Must be a stable... Mystery man #1, Mystery Man #2....

Ethan Tyler - For God's sake I can't even know who I'm fighting tonight! I'm getting sick of this. But I'm gonna run with it, simply because I've worked hard to get here, and even if I keep losing, just being in the light is making it all worth while.... and victory tonight will make it even sweeter.

Zed - I hate to sound like I'm being negative, but if you keep losing like this, chances are you're not going to last in the EWA.

Ethan Tyler - I will survive, I can survive, I must survive...... Microsoft took time to hit it big, so did Spielberg... Everything big had troubles, these are mine... Nothing can keep the Underground from going Mainstream Zed.... Nothing.

Zed - Back to you guys, down at ringside...

The Informer - This is absolutely ridiculous, I can't believe what's happened here the last few weeks. Someone needs to stop Team Ballz.

Chandler - Shut your mouth I-Form, we spared your ass for a reason, don't make me rehash on that.

Paul Diamond - Haha, this is going to be a fantastic night! Lets send it to ring announcer Johnny Bones.

Johnny Bones - Our first match is an OOOOVVER the top, battle royal extravaganza. Introducing the participants already in the ring.. First, "Jumpin" JIIIMMMYYY SWWAAANSSSSOOOOON!!! .. Next we have "THE MASTER OF THE TOMMY GUN DDT" AL CAAAAAAAAAPONE!.... Dez GRAZIATO!!! ... THE BLACKEST MAN OF THEM ALL.. G.I. BRRRRO!!!!!! ... the little sparkplug himself, JOEY "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRDDCORE" HAM-RIC!!!! ... JOHNNY "TRIPLE SIX"!!! ... the always dangerous M-M-G!!!!!!! ... The salad tossing Greek, TASO CY-DON-IA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and last but not least, THE RAGIN REEEEBBBBEEEEELLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chandler - I smell ratings people.

The Informer - Oh yeah, this should be a 5 star classic. [THWACK] OWW

Chandler - Don't test me, you sun-uv-a-bitch.

Paul Diamond - And referee Mike Hunter rings the bell! And right away Jimmy Swanson goes straight for Joey Hamric with a text booked poke the the eye ball... MMG and Al Capone are double teaming Taso Cydonia right now by VICIOUSLY raking the back. What a match this should be!!!!

Chandler - "Triple Six" is currently choking the like out of G.I. Bro... It looks like a klan lynching right now. Someone needs to get some Panthers up in that joint. HEY I-FORM.. what do you think of this match so far!?

The Informer - I have nothing to say... [THWACK] ... AND A BEAUTIFUL ARM DRAG TAKE OVER BY THE RAGING REBEL ON GRAZIATO. Unbeliavable action thus far!

Chandler - Attah Boy. Jumpin Jimmy with a VICIOUS drop toe hold on Al Capone. As it look like he's following it up with an UNBELIAVABLE rastafarian hynee pull! Look at the pain the face of Al Capone folks.

Paul Diamond - Absolutely Swamphoppa! And now, G.I. Bro is finally mounting some offensive. Kick to the Gonads! BIG TIME DDT.. SHADES OF CLAYTON CHANDLER!

Chandler - Looks like someone has been taking notes. What do you think Informer??????

The Informer - Ummmm, yes, that was devestating indeed. And now, Wait what's this!??!

[Ethan Tyler sprints to the ring.]

Chandler - YOU'RE A LITTLE LATE DOUCHE BAG!!!

The Informer - Thank god, maybe Mr. Tyler can shed a little light on this subject and end this match.

Paul Diamond - How quickly you forget Informer. Just a few short weeks ago, I was lounging in my trailer home watching Tuesday Night Heat; when out of no where, ETHAN TYLER destoryed the jobbers in their lockerrooms. I hope they get their justice!

Chandler - And it looks like they are. ALL THE JOBBERS ARE JUMPIN ON THE UNDERGROUND HERO! Rights, lefts, and kicks.. Look at this clubberin!!!!

The Informer - Uh oh.. Al Capone is signaling for something here.... WHAT'S THIS!?!?

Paul Diamond - TOMMY GUN D-D-T!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tyler is laying limp on the ground!!! All the jobbers are picking him up. AND HURLING HIS ASS OUT OF THE RING! I love it!!!!

Johnny Bones - Ethan Tyler has just been elimanted!

Paul Diamond - And Tyler is PISSED!!! He's storming off towards the showers! GOOD RIDDANCE SCUM BAG!

The Informer - Real objective... Anyways, G.I. Bro almost has "Triple Six" out of the ring... Can he do it??? YES HE CAN!

Johnny Bones - Johnny "Triple Six" has just been eliminated.

Paul Diamond - We're down to 8 people folks.. Who's it gonna be TONIGHT on TUESDAY NIGHT BALLZ!?!? Al Capone now is all over Taso.... RIGHTS AND LEFTS.... this looks like a case of domestic violence right here folks! Unbelievable! Joey "Hardcore" Hamric drops to his knees in front of Jimmy Swanson.. is going to suck his.. NO! GROIN PUNCH.. GROIN PUNCH.. GROIN PUNCH! This could be all folks!! SHADES OF THE PROFESSIONALIST!!!

Chandler - Yeah, he likes touchin' dick.

The Informer - MMG has Graziato locked in the corner.

Chandler - MMG... isn't that the shit from Chinese Food that makes my headache?

Paul Diamond - I'm partial to fried pork myself. MMG backs up... He waits for it.. TAKE THE PLUNGE... SHADES OF THE BRINK!!! Will he throw him over the top???

The Informer - Not if G.I Bro has anything to say about it!!! AXE kick to the back of MMG's skull! This isn't half bad.

[Suddenly, Ethan Tyler emerges on to the ramp. ET looks insane, as he is bleeding for the barb wire that's wrapped around his head, neck, and upper torso area. He has a wheel barrel full of weapons, including a table and a chair wrapped in barb wire.]

Chandler - That sumbitch is crazy! He's bringing all those weapons right into this very ring!

Paul Diamond - This going to spell trouble for the EWA superstars in the ring! Tyler throws his weapons into the ring and climbs in.

The Informer - MMG runs at Tyler.... WHAM!!!! He just had his skull shattered by that barb wire covered steel chair! That was damn stiff!!! Tyler looks to be returning to his old roots, mayhaps??

Paul Diamond - Mayhaps???? This bastard is insane! He takes an empty Rolling Rock bottle, OH GOOD GOD!!! He just shattered it over the head of Jimmy Swanson!! Now.. what the!? He's just stabbed Graziato with the jagged edge!!! THAT WAS BRUTAL!

Chandler - That bottle probably has Herpes on it...

Paul Diamond - Mayhaps.... The Underground Hero walks over to G.I. Bro... BAM!! He tattooed him with that steel chair covered in barb wire! And now.. he's reaching over into his wheel barrel... He's got a bull rope! He's tying it around G.I. Bro's neck.. HE'S HANGING HIM!!!!!!!! He just threw him over the top rope, where he's hanging by his neck.. Unbelievable.

The Informer - Ethan has a lighter now and a small wooden club... He's lighting the end of the club on fire! Joey "Hardcore" Hamric has the steel chair now!!... He's challenging Tyler!!! He swings at ET... ET ducks!!! What the hell!!! He dipped the slamming club down his throat.... OH MY GOD!!! HE JUST SHOT FIRE OUT OF HIS MOUTH INTO THE FACE OF JOEY HAMRIC. And now.. WHAM! He just hit Taso Cydonia over the head with the flamming billy club.

Chandler - I didn't think he had it in him!

Paul Diamond - Niether did I! Tyler Sets up the table.. He grab Taso...HANGOVER ON TO THE TABLE!!!... But the table didn't break! That was stiff... Tyler grabs the burning Hamric.... HANGOVER ON TO THE TABLE!!! IT STILL HASN'T BROKEN YET!

Chandler - And Ethan says, what the hell! and Throws them both out anyways!

Johnny Bones - Joey Hamric and Taso Cydonia have both been eliminated.

Paul Diamond - And the rope holding up G.I. Bro has just broken!! Sending him crashing to the floor.

Johnny Bones - G.I. Bro has been eliminated.

Paul Diamond - Tyler is setting up the four remaining men on each corner post. Capone, Swanson, Graziato, and the Ragin Rebel are all sitting limply on each turn buckle.

The Informer - Tyler walks over to Swanson, climbs out to the ring apron ILLEGAL IN 48 STATES FROM THE TOP ROPE TO THE OUTSIDE!

Johnny Bones - Jimmy Swanson has been eliminated.

Paul Diamond - Ethan Tyler is back up in the ring.. AND HE'S GOING TO DO THE SAME THING TO GRAZIATO!!! II48S!!!!

Johnny Bones - Dez Graziato has been eliminated.

Paul Diamond - Not again.... He's going over towards the Ragin Rebel.. Here it comes.. ILLEGAL IN 48 STATES again....

Johnny Bones - Ragin' Rebel has been eliminated, your winner... AL C...

Ethan Tyler - NOT SO FAST....

The Informer - What the hell.. Tyler to the top rope... HANGOVER ON AL CAPONE THROUGH THE TABLE... that damn thing finally broke. He picks up Capone's limp body and tosses him out of the ring.

Ethan Tyler - AND YOUR WINNER... Ethan Tyler.... THE UNDERGROUND IS GOING MAINSTEAM BABY!!

Paul Diamond - What a display of anger by the psychotic Tyler... He cleaned house!

The Informer - We have not heard the last from Ethan Tyler.

Ethan Tyler - I'm sick of this! GOD DAMNIT!

[Ethan walks into his locker room, takes his bottle of water and takes a huge drink and stops.... Sitting on a chair is an envelope, written on it is...]

[Ethan opens the letter and reads it aloud...]

Ethan Tyler - "Dear Ethan, if you are reading this letter, then I have some unfortunate news. Your EWA career is over. Pack your equipment up and get out. Haha! I know you like surprises Ethan. Which is why I'm giving you one last chance... One last chance to prove yourself. This Sunday at Global Threat, you will have a career match. And since I know you enjoy surprises, your opponent will be announced at the card. Have fun preparing Ethan. Keep in touch. With Regards, Tom Stone."

[Ethan crumples up the letter and throws it into the corner...]

Ethan Tyler - Son of a bitch..... I'm out of here, I'll see you in Japan Stone........

Johnny Bones - Introducing first, Bry2k and HACKER!

[Both men make their way to the ring with no music.]

The Informer - Chandler, why has there been no music tonight.

Chandler - Because no one in this place deserves it but myself and Thrylla.

Johnny Bones - And their opponents... THE HIIIIGGHHLLYY CONCEITED.. BASTARDS!!!!

[Johnny Flash and Rocky Blonde make their way to the ring with no music playing.]

Paul Diamond - And these two teams are going right at it from the start!!! They're both brawling on the outside. What's this... The Cows In Black are just sitting on the entrance ramp, watching this and laughing!

The Informer - What a way to start this match.. It's for the number 1 contendership to the EWA tag team titles! Cows In Black are getting in some advanced scouting here folks.

Chandler - The fucking Cows In Black... The god damn Fu Man Crew doesn't have the fucking sacks to step to Thrylla and I.

The Informer - Speaking of Thrylla, what is his role in tonight's show???

Chandler - He's just making sure shit runs smoothly in the back. He's here, don't worry.

Paul Diamond - Thrylla may be here.. But are these two teams hearing the count? Referee Mike Hunter is up to 8...... 9...

The Informer - AND ROCKY BLONDE SLIP BACK IN THE RING!! 10!!!! The Highly Conceited Bastards win.. just like that!

Chandler - A GOD DAMN DUSTY FINISH! What the hell was that?

Johnny Bones - YOUR WINNERS... AND NUMBER 1 CONTENDERS FOR THE EWA WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES.... THE HIGHLY.. CONCEITED... BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!

Paul Diamond - But.. Do the Bastards see the Cows in Black at the top of the ramp???? They're walking backwards for crying out loud, laughing at Bry2k and Hack!

Chandler - And like a pack of god damn pussies, The fucking Cows attack!

The Informer - What a brawl we got going here folks!.. THIS SUNDAY, GLOBAT THREAT... COWS VERSUS BASTARDS... WHO WILL WALK OUT EWA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!

Chandler - I sure as shit hope it ain't the cows.

Arthryn - FUCK YOU ALL!

[Then, the crowd just gets much more active with the boo's and what-not. Arthryn cackles wickedly, and Eric Walther just smiles non-caringly. Arthryn puts the mic up to his mouth, and addresses the on-hand crowd...]

Arthryn - Look here. I thought you all liked me. I thought you all did. Specially, 'cause we got many things in common. For example... we're all known for being "down-under", if you know what I mean. Now, for all of you faggots out there, I go down on women, which means... if you were expecting a BJ, wait 'til the Fu Man Crew and Divine come out here, 'cause you ain't gettin' none from the Arthrynian one.

Eric Walther - Look, all of you EWA fans worship these boys, and I do mean boys, with no skill. Anyone can cut a good promo, or look pretty for the cameras, but we're the fuckers who can get it done in the ring. We'll beat anyone up, down and all around that ring, make them suffer, just because they wanted to be adored by you fans. I know martial arts, streetfighting, drunken brawling, army-class hand to hand combat, and I've been trained for years as a wrestler. You tangle with me, you get laid out. That clear?

[An asshole chant develops throughout the place as Arthryn looks around, confidently...]

Arthryn - Look. You may boo us all you want, 'cause honestly we don't give a fuck, as many of you already know... and we will come out here and cut a promo whenever we fucking please, basically because we deserve that much. Now, 5 days from tonight, we take Tokyo, Japan by storm with another great PPV, mainly, because I am on the card. In fact, I have an Inferno Match at Global Threat 2000 that's going to send the ratings through the roof. Hayes, Michaels, eat your heart out when the quarter hour ratings come in, because my segment is going to be the damned best. Why? Because I'm Arthryn.... who the hell doesn't wanna see me? I mean, besides Moral. He doesn't wanna see me, or have anything to do with me. In fact, if he had the chance, he'd drop out of the match next Sunday night. Of this I am sure. So you may all be wondering the specific reason for this promo... hahaha. Basically, because this is an unscheduled promo, that not even Tom Stone knew about, and you wanna know why? Because I wanted it. Just like everything we desire, we get. Everything we feel like getting, we do. Right on the banner of the EWA homepage, it says "Wrestling Revolutionized". Serial Thrylla, Chandler, Nick Diamante, blah blah, Jericho, Divine, Zed, blah blah... they all think they've somehow helped into this "Revolution" the EWA has seemingly made. What they don't realize is, the Revolution process has not yet started. We're the true revolution in here. We're the rebellion. We're the Magneto to the X-men, we're the Mumra to the Thundercats. We're nothing less than a threat. And that's basically, because we want to be. Moral, you're just the beginning. Global Threat 2000, you're going to get revolutionized, the EWA is going to turn around, and that's all because we want it to be that way.

[Right then, "Children of the Korn" by Korn hits the sound system. Arthryn and Walther stand close to the ropes, awaiting the arrival of Moral. From the crowd, Moral rushes into the ring, chair on hands, and whacks both men viciously. He keeps on beating on both men until security takes care of him, pulling him back. He heads backwards, as both men are slowly standing up after each received a couple of chair shots.]

Johnny Bones - Introducing first..... in the 2nd round of the World Tour Tournamnet... THE WILDMAN!!!!!!!

[The Wildman quickly makes his way down to the ring.]

Johnny Bones - And his opponent... THE HUS......

[Blackout.]

Chandler - THIS BETTER BE THRYLLA.. OR SOMEONE IS JACKIN OUR SHIT.

[A purple hue falls over the arena.]

The Informer - What could this possibly be???

[�The Outlaw Torn� by Metallica begins to play as �The Original Outlaw�, Vince Di Nardo, makes his way to the arena on a brand new 2000 Harley Davidson �Fatboy� Electra-glide edition motorcyle.]

Chandler - Well, I�ll be damned!

Paul Diamond - THE OUTLAW IS BACK... now that�s old school.

[The Outlaw stops the bike on the ramp, he's wearing a black leather trenchcoat, a tight black T-Shirt, black cargo pants, black army boots, and has his hair tied back. He pushes his silver oakleys down to the tip of his nose, and looks around, revs the engine once again, and rides down to the ring.]

Chandler - Someone might be in for an ass kicking....

Paul Diamond - Wildman doesn�t know what to do! It�s like he�s seen a ghost! Di Nardo climbs into the ring... Wildman charges right at �The Original Outlaw�, Vinny D ducks... Big Boot to the side of Wildman�s face. Look at Vinny! He�s just playing to the crowd!

Chandler - Well, I suppose I never liked the Wildman anyways.

The Informer - The Outlaw picks up Wildman... BIG CRADLE PILEDRIVER! He�s just laughing at him... Toying with the former Extreme Champion.

Paul Diamond - Vince picks up the Wildman and places his limp body on the top turn buckle. The Outlaw follows him up there... OH MY GOD! HUGE BRAIN BUSTER OFF OF THE TOP ROPE! SHADES OF ARN ANDERSON....

The Informer - Notice that he�s targeting the neck right now. He Sets up The Wildman on the top turn buckle again... Vinny grabs his neck. HANGMAN�S NECKBREAKER! Shades of Rick Rude right there.. Now he�s signaling the crowd, they�re going nuts. COULD THIS BE....?????

Paul Diamond - BARELY LEGAL!?!??! THAT MOVE IS OUTLAWED EVERYWHERE BUT NORTH AMERICA!

Chandler - Hell fucking no you morons! VINNY D WITH AN INSIDE CRADLE!! Mike Hunter with the count, 1..2..3!!!

Johnny Bones - AND THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH.... �THE ORIGINAL OUTLAW� VINCE..DI.....NAAAAAAAAAAARDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Informer - Well, that was interesting to say the least!

Paul Diamond - A victory is a victory I guess. Maybe Vince is going to let the mystique of this move build up before he finally unleashes it on someone?

Arthryn - I'm tired. Sick and tired of all this bullshit. Moral, you try to burn my ass, you try beat my ass up to oblivion, you cowardly use a chair against us both. All this entertainment crap is really getting to my nerves. At Global Threat, no more angles, no more gimmicks, no more bullshit, it's just you, me and fire all around us. Train all you can, sleep on your ass all you can...'cause once with you, Mr. Morale...you'll feel as though someone just stomped a mudhole right across your ass, and filled it with hot lava. You'll feel the fire, you'll feel the fever...Moral, I swear to God, you'll feel as though you're a medieval thief...one that was caught, judged and was just EXECUTED.

Travis Gaines - Zed, Isn't every match about winning, I'm gonna get revenge oh yes, But I'll get revenge while winning. Fallen angel had the guts to challenge me, when I was out cold, Through a table, Six Feet Under, Tonight, I'm gonna make him wish he never made that challenge, and he will be Put in the past.

Zed - But don't you wish this week's match had hardcore rules? So then you could do whatever you wanted to Fallen Angel.

Travis Gaines - Is this sport called hardcore wrestling? No! It is called WRESTLING! I wrestle. Hardcore wrestling is for those idiots who can't wrestle by themselves, and have to call upon some bonus help, Fallen Angel is one of those idiots, First of all he is a hardcore wrestler and he challenged me, the Master of Scientific Wrestling, and Tonight, One on One, he's Gonna find out First Hand.

Zed - Back to you guys at ringside.

Johnny Bones - Introducing first, "That Damn Good" Travis "The Future" Gaines!

["TDG" Travis Gaines makes his way the ring with no music.]

Johnny Bones - And his opponent, FALLEN ANGELLLL!

[Fallen Angel makes his way to the ring with no music. He looks extremely pissed off at what has transpired here tonight.]

The Informer - This should be a great match up here!

Paul Diamond - My pick is Gaines for this match.

Chandler - Gaines, that guy has more nicknames then moves, he sucks.

The Informer - We're underway, and both men are pounding each other with vicious lefts and rights here!

Paul Diamond - The action is fast and furious, but that's what we have come to expect here in the EWA!

The Informer - Gaines whips Fallen Angel to the ropes, and ducks, but Angel lands a swift boot to the head, FLOORING Gaines! What impact, I haven't seen a shot like that in years!

Chandler - Shut up, you Tony Shiavone wannabe, no one wants to hear your lip.

The Informer - Alright Mr. Chandler, just as long as you stay over there I'll do my job.

Paul Diamond - Enough you two, back to the match. Gaines has Fallan Angel in the corner, and he's landing some brutal chops! Look at the red marks on Fallen Angel's chest, he will be feeling those in the morning!

The Informer - He throws Angel across corners, but Angel moves out of the way of the charging Gaines, and Gaines goes smashing face first into the turnbuckle!

Chandler - YAWN...wake me up when it's over.

Paul Diamond - Gaines staggers out, lookout, here it comes!

The Informer - It's SIX FEET UNDER! He drove Gaines right through the mat!

Paul Diamond - The cover! 1...2...3!!! It's over!

Chandler - Thank god.

Johnny Bones - Ladies and gentleman, your winner....FALLEN ANGELLLLL!

The Informer - What a great match!

Paul Diamond - That's right, Fallen Angel with a HUGE win, it's action like that that I come to live for.

Chandler - Speak for yourselves, lets move on with the show.

Jeanine Trujillo - Okay, listen. I don't know what you have against me, Josh, but enough is enough! I did nothing... NOTHING... to deserve this!

Josh Hamric - Yes, did do something. And you f*cking know it! You aligned yourself with Don Michaels. And for that, I should slaughter you. But I won't; I'm not that kind of man. Quite frankly, I'd rather just beat the holy sh*t out of you this Sunday at Global Threat 2000!

Jeanine Trujillo - Oh, is that so?? Let me tell you something, Josh Hamric! When I am side by side by Don again, YOUR ASS IS GOING DOWN! I'll give you my word, Hamric! You're going to regret doing any of this to me!

[Josh Hamric quickly throws her down on the couch. A smile appears across his face as he sees the tears dwell up in Jeanine's eyes.]

Josh Hamric - Oh, well I'll be damned! Did I hurt little miss priss?? Awwww! Listen up, bitch! I am not going to put up with your f*cking nonsense. None of this was ever meant to hurt you. NONE! However, if you don't take my advice and shut the F*CK up, you're going to be hurt... even before Global Threat 2000 even occurs!

[Josh Hamric sits down on the opposite side of the couch. He finds the remote to the television and turns it to Tuesday Night Heat.]

Lorenzo Hayes - Honestly? This tournament means nothing to me right now, I have more important things going on besides the tournament! But don't worry i'm still going to give this tournament my all, and that plain and simply means that this tournament is as good as mine!

Zed - Your opponent tonight is WaR CrYmE. Now, I've been doing some extensive research, just for the sole purpose of this interview, and it appears as though WaR CrYmE used to be your tag team partner! What are your thoughts on having to face him tonight?

Lorenzo Hayes - The same as having to face anybody else. Tonight when I step into the ring with my former tag partner, I am going to go 100% at him and easily take the victory. As you know Zed the only question surrounding this match is, will Lorenzo Hayes break a sweat?

Zed - Over to you, Mr Stuttering R.O.D....

WaR CrYmE - This tournament is perhaps one of the biggest opportunities ive had in The EWA so far. Its going to give me a chance to shine and show the EWA staff that they got theyre money's worth when they signed me. It should also give a clear cut message to all the pathetic wrestlers out their [Cough]Chandler[Cough]Thrylla[Cough] sorry, that im not one to be messed with.

Stuttering R.O.D - Y-y-y-y-y-your partner is n-n-n-n-n-none other than y-y-y-y-y-your former t-t-t-t-tag team partner, L-l-l-l-lorenzo HAYES! Do you p-p-p-p-plan to p-p-p-p-put your f-f-f-f-f-friendship aside for t-t-t-t-this match, or d-d-d-d-d-does your friendship with H-h-h-h-HAYES mean more t-t-t-t-to you then t-t-t-t-t-this tournament?

WaR CrYmE - Sure were friends but this match means more so much to me, im going to put our friendship aside and let loose. That right Hayes, you either fight like hell tonight in our match or i make you like a package of ground beef.

Stuttering R.O.D - B-b-b-b-b-back to y-y-y-y-y-you guys at r-r-r-r-r-ringside!

Chandler - Fucking Cryme is gonna be doing the time pretty soon.

The Informer - Lets send it to Johnny Bones for the call.

Johnny Bones - Introducing First, Lorenzo HAAAAAYESSSS!

[Because Team Ballz has no respect for anyone, Lorenzo Hayes makes his way to the ring with no music.]

Johnny Bones - And his opponent, War Cryyyymmmmme!

[War Cryme quietly walks to the ring.]

The Informer - This is a big matchup here, the winner of this one moves on to Global Threat as one of the final 4 in the tournament!

Paul Diamond - This tournament has been a HUGE success in my opinion, the best idea Fenichel has ever had.

Chandler - The only idea that asshole has ever had.

The Informer - War Cryme gets the jump on Lorenzo Hayes, hitting him with a forearm shot to the back of the head. Hayes staggers into the corner, where he is met with a flurry of rights and lefts. Hayes blocks a right hand, and fires back with one of his own! War Cryme staggers out, and gets met by a running clothesline!

Paul Diamond - Look, here comes DON MICHAELS! Listen to this place erupt in boos, this man is REALLY hated.

The Informer - This does NOT bode well for Lorenzo Hayes. He and Michaels have had a fierce rivalry for weeks now, and having Michaels out here cannot help his chances in advancing to semis.

Paul Diamond - Well, it looks like Michaels is just taking a ringside seat, maybe he just wants to get a closer look at his opponent for Global Threat.

Chandler - Yeah, and maybe I've been kidding this whole time and really DO like America. Shut up and be realistic here, this is Team Ballz's show.

The Informer - War Cryme goes for a short clothesline but Hayes ducks and catches him by the waist...northern lights suplex with a bridge! 1...2...NO! War Cryme gets a shoulder up! That was close, I thought for sure it was over!

Paul Diamond - Hayes is laying in some STIFF kicks to the ribs. He's staring over at Don Michaels, he is obviously worried about him being out here.

The Informer - Look at Don Michaels, he is just laughing, that cocky irrating laughter we've all come to know and despise.

Paul Diamond - LOOK OUT! War Cryme rolls up Hayes! 1...2...kickout! Another nearfall.

The Informer - Hayes charges at War Cryme, but War Cryme moves out of the way, and runs right over the referee! He's down!

Paul Diamond - Don Michaels is on the ring apron with the chair! What's he going to do here, he's just inches away from War Cryme! Hayes charges at War Cryme once again, but War Cryme drops down....NO! Don Michaels just PLASTERED Hayes with that steel chair. Hayes just hit the ground like a ton of bricks, he's out cold! Don Michaels climbs off the apron, and heads towards the back, his job is done!

The Informer - Come on, we had a great match before that egotistical prick ruined it!

Chandler - Do you need a tissue?

The Informer - It's not a joking matter, this is serious! The referee is awake now, and War Cryme makes the cover, it's academic! 1...2...3!

Johnny Bones - The winner, and moving on in the tournament... WAR CRYYYYMMMME!

The Informer - I'll tell you what. When Lorenzo Hayes recovers from that chair shot, Don Michaels is going to have HELL to pay!

Cody Covington - Okay... the time has come where I will have the chance to pretty much do anything I want to Divine... I will love any minute of it... but what will that prove?! The emotional strain Divine has me in, its more than likely my life won't be able to get past it. During this whole process I've been hurting the only people out there in this world who care for me, who look out for me. I love the fans, but in the end... do they really help me?? Sure, the support is great... but who's there for me when I'm having hard times in my life?? Who's there helping me recover when I'm sick?? Not the fans. What about the first "partnership" I've been apart of?? System Of Descent?? With me, Virulent, Tommy Kappa, Scott Rockwell, Kell?? Where you think they've been after things all fell apart in 420 Degree Wrestling?! I never heard from any of them again, and that's sad. And you people wonder why I don't like being teamed up with other men, being apart of big "FACTIONS." After its all said and done, the smoke clears, the dust settles... where are those men who once would do ALMOST ANYTHING to help you advance in this sport?! I'll tell you where... absolutely nowhere in sight! No contact being made, no NOTHING! People who have been with ME, through this whole thing... people like Mike Basulto, Ronny Garbage, and... and... and...

[Cody stand there in the ring... obviously very upset. The fans are behind them... rooting him on every step of the way...]

Cody Covington - and... GeniPher. They are the only "IMPORTANT" people in my life. The only people who give a DAMN about my well being. And what has Divine done... torn everything apart. It all started out innocently enough... setting up cameras in my home, playing his sick and demented mind games. Me made me crack... something that I thought would never happen. I've been trying to control myself, before Divine... I was one laid back individual... but look at me now, look at what all of this has done to me...

[Cody takes off his Oakley's... the camera zooms in on his eyes... which have DARK black circles under then, almost sunken in. Looks as if Cody hasn't been sleeping to well... at ALL....]

Cody Covington - Divine got me all worked up... he got me to the point where I was hell bent on destroying him, and nothing else. I ignored the "important" people in life, I was selfish. And what'd I get for being selfish?! Mike Basulto leaves... and... and...

[Cody puts his glasses back on, and looks down at the mat. He begins to tremble... out of excitement?? anger?? or is he just very upset??]

Cody Covington - I'm now left with NOTHING! DIVINE TOOK THAT ALL AWAY!! THAT MOTHERFUCKER HAS RUINED MY LIFE, AND I'M OUT TO END HIS THIS SUNDAY AT GLOBAL THREAT!! HE HAS GONE BEYOND PERSONAL THIS TIME... I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE HIS FUCKING ABUSE WITHOUT DOING NOTHING IN REVENGE!! NOT AT ALL!! OTHERS HAVE DONE IT IN THE PAST, THEY HAVE TRIED TO GET DIVINE OUT OF THEIR WAY, BUT I CANNOT DO THAT!! I WILL NOT LET HIM GET AWAY WITH ALL OF THIS BULLSHIT HE HAS DONE... NEVER!! it has gone far enough as me going against my wrestling "beliefs" and wrestling hardcore. I rarely do hardcore, but I can PROMISE you... that this match will not be for the weak of heart! I HAVEN'T GIVEN UP YET, AND THIS WEEKEND AT GLOBAL THREAT... ITS GO TIME MOTHERFUCKER!!!

[Cody slams the microphone to the mat... HARD. Static is heard for a little, and then the microphone is deactivated. C4 is now just standing there in the ring... like a statue or something. And suddenly like a burst of rage he runs off towards the back......]

El GiGante - Non-title match?

Zed - Yes this is a non-title match Mr. GiGante.

El GiGante - I think thats utter bulls*it Zed. Come on esa I am as extreme as it gets. Like 2 months ago I was in one of the greatest scaffold matches to ever grace the world or professional wrestling meng. Go ask GVA he knows I'm extreme. You Tiki Tortez are an disgrace to Extreme. Tiki you don't even know what extreme is esa. Zed you know what extreme is right meng?

Zed - Yeah. Why?

El GiGante - Wouldn't you consider this extreme meng?

[GiGante pulls a cheese grater out from his back pocket. He starts to grate his forehead until a line of blood trickles down his face.]

Zed - WOW. Yeah that is definitely extreme.

El GiGante - There ya go Tiki. Ya better be ready for the most extreme MeXican is gonna run yo @#$ over esa!

Zed - Last week we all saw you and Moochie get into a little scuffle. In fact, it pretty much looked like the end of the Mexican Connection. Moochie just so happens to be here tonight, do you think he will make an appearance during your match?

El GiGante - The b*tch prolly will. But I don't care meng I could take his scrawny little @#$ like last week. Except this week esa I'm gonna finish his neck off for good. Remember Moochie "When you f*ck with GiGante, You F*CK WIT DEATH!" Now how bout ya bank on that one brotha!

Zed - Over to you, ROD...

Stuttering R.O.D - J-j-j-j-j-j-j-joining me now i-i-i-i-i-is the N-n-n-n-n-n-NEW EWA E-e-e-e-extreme Champion, "Tricky" T-t-t-t-t-tiki Tortez! And in a f-f-f-f-f-f-few moments, y-y-y-y-y-y-you'll be taking o-o-o-o-o-on El GiGante in a N-n-n-n-n-non Title Match! Any r-r-r-r-r-reason for f-f-f-f-fighting El GiGante this w-w-w-w-w-week?? We know it c-c-c-c-c-can't be j-j-j-j-just for the hell o-o-o-o-o-of it, because it's a n-n-n-n-n-non-title match!

"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - You know what...ever since I won this Extreme Title, Tom Stone has been busting his ass trying to make me "prove" myself to the rest of the EWA that I am Extreme Title material. Rumors are floating around that since I am only 2-0, it is a fluke. We all know that what happened both of those times is nothing more than pure talent. I may not have the experience that they claim to be needed to be the best, but one this is for sure, I have what it takes to be champion. In this match against El Gigante, issued by Tom Stone, he is obviously throwing anyone he can at me. Both him and I know that I have no beef at all with Gigante, hell, I could care less about him. So, making this a non-title match bewilders me. Is this a test from Tom Stone? Does he want to see if I have what it takes? Well, all I can say about that is I have what it takes, and in a few minutes I will show him and the rest of the world what happens when someone steps in my way. El Gigante... you're next!

Stuttering R.O.D - A-a-a-a-a-are you a-a-a-a-at all w-w-w-w-worried about T-t-t-t-the Wildman or G-g-g-g-ghost from H-h-h-h-hell?? It's o-o-o-o-obvious that t-t-t-t-t-they're looking f-f-f-f-for you after y-y-y-y-y-your victory over t-t-t-t-them last w-w-w-w-week!

"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Ha...those two losers mean nothing to me. Both of them know that I am ten times better than they will ever be.

Stuttering R.O.D - Y-y-y-y-ou're sounding a-a-a-a-a-a little a-a-a-a-a-arrogant! D-d-d-d-do you honestly b-b-b-b-b-believe that?

"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Of course I am you idiot. Just because you are a complete retard doesn't mean you can stand there and contradict every single thing I say. I know I am better than them...I don't think I am. If those two morons think that they are going to prove anything by coming down and interfering, then they have another thing coming. I am prepared for both of them, and I am prepared if they even attempt anything. But, my mind won't be on them, no, it will be on El Gigante. Because this is my match, not theirs and there is no way they are diverting my attention. El Gigante...don't get your hopes of. Just because you and your girlfriend Moochie broke up, don't think I am giving any remorse. And if your ex-girl Moochie comes to the ring, don't think I won't knock his ass out too. I am on a rampage Gigante...now get out of my way!

Stuttering R.O.D - O-o-o-o-o-ok, t-t-t-t-thanks for y-y-y-y-your words Tiki, i-i-i-i-i-it was a-a-a-a-aa...well...uhh... B-b-b-b-b-back to y-y-y-y-y-you guys at r-r-r-r-r-ringside!

The Informer - Actually I hate this.. I can't believe you people are actually enjoying this. Last week, Team Ballz hospitilized the entire EWA staff... And now everything is happy??

Chandler - Shut your mouth, or you'll join those mother fuckers in ICU. Call this shit.

The Informer - Okay.. Okay... Lets get to the ring right now, with the esteemed Johnny Bones.

Johnny Bones - Introducing first...EL GIGANTEEEEE!

[El Gigante makes his way to the ring.]

Johnny Bones - His opponent...."Tricky" Tiki TORRRRRTEZZZZZ!

[Tiki Tortez makes his way to the ring.]

The Informer - The bell sounds and we are underway, they are exchanging lefts and rights, back and forth, really laying into each other!

Paul Diamond - It's Tortez with 5 unanswered rights. He backs Gigante against the ropes, and whips him across...BIG BACKDROP! Gigante is screaming in pain, he landed HARD!

The Informer - Tortez with a quick cover, but Gigante kicks out at 2! It's going to take a lot more than that to keep him down!

Chandler - God, your one liners are so cliche, you sound like Mark Madden.

The Informer - Errr, umm, back to the match.

Paul Diamond - Gigante is in control now. He picks up Tortez, and gives him a vicious backbreaker! I could almost hear his bones snap from here!

The Informer - I think Gigante has him right where he wants him. He lifts Tortez back up to his feet, and gives him a gut buster! Tortez is cringing in pain, look at the agony etched on his face.

Chandler - Look, I'm crying a f*cking river for him. Just call the match.

The Informer - Yes sir.

Chandler - I said call the match, or else you won't be as lucky as you were last week.

Paul Diamond - Anyway, Gigante pulls a stunned Tortez back up to his feet, and kicks him in the stomach. He sets him up....BIG PILEDRIVER!

The Informer - Gigante has him here, but why isn't he going for the cover?

Paul Diamond - I think he wants to punish him a little more first. He is climbing the top rope, I think he's going for one of his signiture moves here!

The Informer - YES! Frogsplash! Did you see how high he bounced off Tortez?!

Chandler - It's how Fenichel bounced after Divine was through with him

The Informer - WHAT?!

Chandler - Nevermind.

Paul Diamond - Gigante has this match won! Wait a second! Here comes Moochie, and he's wearing a neck brace!

Chandler - Great, as if we haven't suffered enough.

The Informer - He's up on the apron, and he's shouting something to Gigante, it sounds like he's asking for an apology for what Gigante did to his neck!

Paul Diamond - Gigante is walking over, it looks like they are arguing. Here comes Tortez from behind, he rolls him up! 1...2...3!!!

Johnny Bones - The winner of this match..."Tricky" Tiki TORRRRTEZZZZ!

The Informer - Moochie just cost his partner another match, Gigante is pissed!

Paul Diamond - OH NO! Gigante just grabbed him by the neck, and dragged Moochie into the ring. He's beating the life out of him!

The Informer - NO! Don't do this Gigante, you could kill the man!

Chandler - Finally, something of interest. Maybe this Gigante kid does have a future.

The Informer - Gigante is stomping away at his partner's injured neck, someone needs to get some help out there for Moochie, his life is in danger!

Paul Diamond - Gigante goes outside, and pulls a table out from under the ring. He sets it up, and throws Moochie on top. He clibms up the top rope....FROGSPLASH THROUGH TEH TABLE! OH MY GOD!

The Informer - Look at Moochie's body, he's quivering, serious damage has been done here. Gigante rips off the neck brace, and throws it in his I guess no EX-partner's face. He's leaving the ring to a loud chorus of boos.

Paul Diamond - This is HANEOUS!

Chandler - So beautiful, that man deserves a round of applause.

The Informer - How can you look in the mirror and call yourself a man?

Chandler - The same way your wife can look in the mirror and call herself a beast!

Paul Diamond - Enough you two, this has been a brutal assault by El Gigante on his former partner and best friend Moochie. Can we concentrate on the facts here?

Thorn - It's nice to see you back Zed... Anyways, What does this tournament mean to me? How much does this tournament mean to me? Zed... quite honestly, it means a damn lot to me. I sit here, and look at the EWA, all these new guys, a bunch of old guys, and I see everyone doing good that deserves to be doing good, with some exceptions. But Zed, remember when we were on top of this damn fed? Remember when we ran this joint? Things have changed, people don't respect me, not that I really care, but god damnit. We both know that I deserve something in this fed, and I'm trying to show everyone that doesn't believe me wrong, by winning this tournament. So Zed, this tournament... is everything to me in the EWA.

Zed - Your opponent tonight is Divine, a wierd...sick...twisted...and very disturbed individual. What are your thoughts on him?

Thorn - I think you summed it up pretty much right there Zed, and in all honesty, I've been trying my whole career to not have a match with him, cause I don't know if I'm going to come out of it with a dildo in my ass, or lotion all over my body. But it looks like tonights the night, where I face my fears, and well... try my best not to... uhh... drop the soap...? Divine's a very intimadating opponent, but as always, he better handle with Care, or his ass is gunna get cut... by the Crown of Thorns... something you know all about Right Zed? heh....

Zed - [Evil look] Back to you guys at ringside.

Chandler - Welcome to hell. Hey Paul, isn't it funny how Informer is being nice to our ass and shit?

Paul Diamond - Very.

Chandler - Hey I-Form, good job not pissing us the fuck off so far. Keep it up junior.

The Informer - [mumbles]

Chandler - Good boy.

Johnny Bones - Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is a World Tour Tournament match! Introducing first, from Sacramento, California, weighing in tonight at two hundred and one pound, THIS...IS..THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN!!!!

[Of course, no theme music for Thorn, who runs to the ring and leans against a far turnbuckle. Bones is about to introduce his opponent...]

Johnny Bones - And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by Tito, weighing in tonight at threeeeee hundred and twenty fives pounds, DIIIIIIVIIIIIIIINNNEEEE!!!!

[Divine sulks down the ailse and into the ring to the jeers of the fans..]

Chandler - Theres my bitch for Sunday, one of em anyone. The "Fu Man Crew" can come suck my fucking dick. Because I'm going to shoot here goddammit, and if it wasn't for Tom Stone loving those 4 motherfuckers, they wouldn't even have a job in this goddamn company. Take that to the motherfucking back. And this Sunday, I'm gonna have me, two of my bitches, and my best friend who for one night is gonna be just another one of my bitches in that ring. AND THAT...Goddammit...IS THE TRUTH.

Paul Diamond - I agree one hundred percent.

The Informer - Theres our bell, and we're underway! This IS a tournament match, and Thorn just rushed Divine with an elbow suicida! Divine is down already!

Paul Diamond - Thorn shooting off the far side ropes, and a big somersault senton splash onto Divine! Off the other side ropes, and another one!

Chandler - Hey, I used to be able to do shit like that. But I soon learned, the flip-flop-and-fly shit might work, but it'll get your ass killed. Go ask Dynamite Kid.

Paul Diamond - From the greatest cruiserweight to grace the ring to the second greatest, I'm sure some day Thorn'll find that out himself.

The Informer - Nomad picking Divine up, ROUNDHOUSE! Divine goes down again, and Thorn, like a bolt of lightning, scaled the ropes, BIIIIIIIIIIG Senton Splash onto Divine.

Paul Diamond - THE BIG MAN GETTIN' WASTED. Thorn bounces back up, and Divine us up now too. Thorn off the far ropes, going for a cross body...

The Informer - Not in Divine's house! S.O.S. Fallaway Slam by Divine!

Chandler - Shades of the Bad Guy on that one, pre Diamante stooge of course.

The Informer - Divine picks Thorn up, and WHAM, what a gutshot to the best cruiserweight in the biz.

Chandler - The WHAT?!?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?!?!

The Informer - Forget it.

Chandler - Damn strait you fuckhead. Hey, I'll kick your ass right now, b. You wanna say shit about me...?

Paul Diamond - GUYS!! Back to the match! Chandler sit down. Back to the match, Divine has whipped Thorn into the ropes and leapfrogged him on the way back. Thorn off the other side, HURRICAN....NO!!

The Informer - LIGERBOMB BY DIVINE!!!

[Referee Mike Hunter counts: 1......2....]

Chandler - Kickout! Divine setting Thorn up for what looks to be....uh....a...uh....THAT...THAT BITCH JUST JACKED MY SHIT!!!!

[As Divine drops Thorn with a Somoan Fallway DDT, Chandler throws down his headset and storms the ring. Chandler gets right in Divine's face, the conversation is so loud you can here it without a mic...]

Chandler - WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!?!?

Divine - I'M WRESTLING, YOU BITCH!!!

Chandler - FUCK YOU!! YOU'RE ON MY GODDAMN SHOW, STEALING MY MOTHERFUCKING MOVE!!! YOU FAGGOT-ASSED SON OF A BITCH, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!

[Chandler bounces off the far ropes, but as he comes to crush Divine in the head with a flying Ryder Kick, Divine ducks and Chandler is sent flying over the top ropes and back into his seat at ringside. As Divine stands back up to laugh at Chandler, Thorn sneaks up behind Divine and rams his neck across the top rope. Chandler puts his headset back on, breathing heavily...]

Chandler - THAT FAGGOT! He's gonna pay for this shit. This match isn't over yet.

The Informer - Nice stage dive there Chandler.

Chandler - LISTEN TO ME, YOU GODDAMN MORON. I'LL KILL YOU WHEN I KILL HIM, SO SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Paul Diamond - GUYS! GUYS!! Thorn is up top...AND DIVINE'S HEAD IS HANGING OVER THE 2ND ROPE ABOVE THE APRON!!!

The Informer - Crown of Thorns to the outside?!?!?!

Paul Diamond - HE'S UP!!! AND....YES!!!! OH MY LORD!! THORN JUST NAILED THE CROWD OF THORNS ON DIVINE ON THE APRON! AND THORN IS ON THE MAT OUTSIDE, HURTING LIKE HELL!!!

The Informer - Divine is out cold! But Thorn must have hurt his legs! In fact, referee Mike Hunter is outside checking on Thorn as we speak!

Chandler - Hey Guys, i'll be right back.

[Chandler throws down his headset again, and slides into the ring. He forcefully picks up Divine and puts him in a front face lock...]

[...Chandler goes outside of the ring and throws both Thorn and Mike Hunter into the ring. Thorn throws an arm over Divine as Hunter counts: 1....2.....3....]

Johnny Bones - Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner....THOOOOOOOOOOOORN!!!!

The Informer - THAT BITCH!! THAT FUCKING BITCH PAUL!!!

Paul Diamond - Hey, "that bitch" got me this job. So shut up. Thorn advances in the tournament!

The Informer - Ah man I hate it. I've gotta do something about this....lets go to break

Ghost From Hell - Tortez...if I told you once, I told you a thousand times, don't EVER mess with me.

[Kicks Tortez in the ribs.]

Ghost From Hell - You underestimated me...

[Bends down and punches Tiki in the face.]

Ghost From Hell - And now look at you...sprawled on the ground like a little wussy. You are nothing but a pile of waste. You don't deserve this title...and you never will.

[He lifts up Tiki Tortez and is about to execute a DDT on top of the chair when 4 referees come from around the corner. They try to break up the two of them, but GFH continuously beats them all to the ground. He then goes back to Tiki and lifts him up. This time he executes a mind-bending DDT on top of two chairs. Tortez's face begins to bleed tremendously as GFH smiles demonically.]

Ghost From Hell - Just wait Tiki...come this Sunday, that title WILL be mine.

[GFH walks away with the same demonic smile on his face. Suddenly paramedics rush to the scene and hustle around Tiki Tortez.]

Paramedic #1 - Grab the bandage...wrap his forehead, he is bleeding excessively.

Paramedic #2 - Ok, his right arm may be fractured. Let's bring him to the Emergency room...ASAP.

[The paramedics rush Tiki out of the arena and into an ambulance. The screen then fades back to the announcer's table.]

Howell - Zed, you got that all wrong...I didn't run my mouth about Nomad...I told the truth about Nomad. He is a has-been and his time is OVER! And Nomad wadn't in the building...you know and I know he was there. He was hiding in the boiler room of the building, hoping and praying that no one would know, so they would think he is as greta and fearless as he used to be. But another thing is Zed...we used to be great friends when we were in the 3D...you were a great wrestler and I looked up to you but now you are trying to sound tough here as an interviewer for the EWA. Well Zed it isn't working and it sounds to me you are getting out of line here, I'm not as mercyless as I used to be, so it wouldn't be tough for me to knock your ass out right now!

Zed - Aren't you at all concerned with what Nomad might do tonight? You did kind of piss him off...

Howell - Why would I ever be concerned with Nomad. I already told you about how he was hiding from me last Tuesday because he isn't fearless anymore..he does fear one thing...and that is me! Nomad you know I am more psychotic then you, you know I am tougher then you, you know I am more powerful then you, and you certainly now know that I am better then you! And tonight is just going to be a sample of what you are going to be getting at Global Threat this Sunday. You're not a very bright man for taking this match less then a week before our showdown at Global Threat, because tonight just like Sunday you will feel pain and I will make you pass out to the Malicious Intent and I will guarantee you that! So Namd, just like always, remember, don't ever hunt what you can't kill!

Zed - Over to you, ROD!!!

Nomad - HA HA HA!!! He doesn't SEEM scared Rod. SEEM. But he is. Trust me, he is. He can put on an act for as long as he wants. He can pull off an Oscar-worthy performace, and it won't matter for shit. Because I can see through it. I can see more than you can imagine. I see the fear in his eyes. I can smell the reek of terror emanating from him. For all the facade he throws up, I can tear it down and look inside him. HE'S WEAK. He's a coward. Why the fuck else would he take my God-damn EWA International Title belt when I was UNCONSCIOUS?! WHY?!?!?!

Stuttering R.O.D. - Ummm.... b-b-b-b-because he's.... uhhhh, w-w-w-wweak? Maybe?

Nomad - GOOD FUCKING GUESS, BITCH!!! He was too afraid to step into the ring with someone as dangerous as me, 'cause he knew he wouldn't win. He knew he COULDN'T WIN. Now he's got the advantage. He's on the high ground. He has my title, and he's dangling it in front of my face. He's pretty smart, considering he's a total fucking moron. He knew that if he took my belt, I would lose my cool. I would do whatever was neccessary to get it back. I would do....shall we say....RASH and UNREASONABLE things....like throw him out the window of his own fucking hotel room. I'm a wild gun, a loose cannon. I'M ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY INSANE. Do you know what Howell did to me, Rod? Do you?

Stuttering R.O.D. - ....

Nomad - It's okay. You can answer the question. I won't hurt you.

Stuttering R.O.D. - H-h-h-h-he....took y-y-y-y-your belt?

Nomad - JESUS H CHRIST, YOU'RE A RETARD!!! HE DID MORE THAN THAT, YOU DUMB BASTARD!!! HE RELEASED THE ANGER THAT I FINALLY GOT UNDER CONTROL!!! HE UNLEASHED THE DARKER HALF OF MY PSYCHE THAT I HAD LONG AGO BURIED INSIDE MYSELF!!! HE BROUGHT BACK THE NOMAD THAT NO ONE....NO ONE WANTED TO SEE!!!!!! I AM THE PUREST INCARNATION OF ANGER AND HATRED THAT HAS EVER GRACED THIS RANK, PUTRID SPHERE OF ROCK WE CALL EARTH!!!

Nomad - Howell....Thurston....Thurston Howell....why Thurston....WHY?!?!?!

[Nomad violently reaches out and grabs Stuttering ROD's neck, throttling him with fire in his eyes. He gasps for air, gargling his own spit in his crushed throat as Nomad chokes the life from him...]

Nomad - I....I....get a grip, Nomad. Calm down. Just calm the fuck down, Nomad. I said calm....the FUCK....down.

[Nomad releases his grip on Stuttering ROD, who falls to the ground clutching at his throat in obvious pain...]

Nomad - This must end. This will end. Howell....you're days are numbered. And you're number is up. I am your pain, misery, and death personified. And tonight....I take back that which is mine. I take back my belt....and I take back my SOUL.

Stuttering R.O.D - B-b-b-b-b-back to y-y-y-y-y-you guys at r-r-r-r-r-ringside!

Chandler - Because we love you, Informer. And we wanted at least one person, one "lucky" person, to be able to witness, with their own eyes, what we are pulling this fine night. And speaking of pulling shit, after this match my ass is heading towards the back again, I got some shit I gotta take care of.

Paul Diamond - What a night its been so far fans!

Chandler - Oh shut up, just shut the fuck up. We aren't announcing like that, you douche. Allow me.

The Informer - No, allow me, this is my job dammit.

Chandler - Awwwww, fuck you, man. You just do this shit then, I gotta go get my fucking lottery tickets from ROD anyway.

[Chandler puts down his headset and walks towards the backstage area, leaving Paul Diamond and The Informer to call the next match..]

Johnny Bones - The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a 30 minute time limit. Introducing first, weighing in at two hundered and fourty-eight pounds, from Parts Unknown, HOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEELLLLLLLL!!!!

[Howell walks out into the arena and strolls into the ring, stopping to harass a few fans. Also, Chandler has turned back around and has sat back down at ringside.]

Chandler - Eh, fuck it. See now, I really hate this guy. First the dude steals my last name only gimmick, and then he almost fucking steals my finisher, and now he's trying to out-heel my ass. I got a feeling I'm gonna kick this poor guys ass before all this shit is said and done.

Paul Diamond - WHAT A MATCH THIS PROMISES TO BE FANS!

Chandler/The Informer - OH JUST SHUT THE HELL UP PAUL!!!

Chandler - Eat me Informer

The Informer - Prick

Paul Diamond - TAKE IT AWAY JOHNNY!!!

[Howell stretches in a corner of the ring, and Bones begins to talk again...]

Johnny Bones - And his opponent, from the Hell's Kitchen area of New York, NY...

Chandler - What the fuck? That's news to me

Johnny Bones - ...and weighing in tonight at two hundred and fiftey six pounds, he is the EWA International Champion, ladies and gentelmen, THIS...IS....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOMAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!

[As is standard on Tuesday Night Ballz, Nomad comes out to no theme music and no pyrotechnics. This makes his entrance seem rather strange, but he gets a good pop from the crowd and climbs into the ring himself. The bell rings.]

The Informer - There's our bell, and this match is underway.

Chandler - Whoopty fucking doo. First off, I hate Howell, and second off, me and Nomad are about as compatible as armpits and assholes. So, I think this shit gets a 2 on the Cool Shit-O-Meter. We're promised a suck-fest.

The Informer - The two men lock up, go behind by Nomad, reversal, into a waistlock from Howell. Amature-styled takeover, both men on the ground now, ooooo, a BIIIIG forearm strait to the back of Nomad's skull from Howell, and the referee is making these guys break it up.

Paul Diamond - Really stiff shot there from Howell. This guy just really doesn't care what anyone thinks.

Chandler - Well I think he stole my gimmick.

The Informer - Tie up again, knee to the gut from Howell, Irish wip into the far ropes, Howell looking for a forearm, Nomad goes under! Russian leg sweep!

Chandler - Let me take this...Nomad's pouncing onto the body of Howell, and, HA, theres a fucking stiff forearm shot to the head of his own! Legit heat right here on TUESDAY NIGHT BALLZ! God I love violence.

The Informer - Yeah, we know.

Chandler - Hey, fuck you.

Paul Diamond - GUYS! Referee has the guys back to a nuetral position in there, and look at the faces of those two men!

Chandler - Yeah, they're pissed. Lockup AGAIN, dammit, wrestle already.

The Informer - Knee to the guy from Howell...another one. Double axe handle to Nomad's back, and down goes the International Champion.

Paul Diamond - Stomps now from Howell, and he picks Nomad back up. Whip into the corner, Howell charges, and Nomad...

Chandler - Kicks him SQUARE IN THE NUTS! I've both done that and felt that, hurts like a motherfucker.

Paul Diamond - Nomad kicking the inner thigh of Howell, and DRIIIIVES his knee into the left quadricept.

The Informer - Nomad is draping that same leg of Howell over the bottom rope! bouncing off the second rope for leverage, and OOOOO, crashing down right onto Howell's thigh.

Chandler - WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Shades of Flair on that one.

The Informer - Kicking it some more...and draping it over the bottom rope again!! He's heading towards the top guys!!!

Chandler - Holy shit! Nomad thinking of something...original? Who'd a thunk that shit?

The Informer - He's up, and..LEGDROP, oh my lord!!! Nomad with a guillotine legdrop, lading SOLELY on Howell's leg!

Paul Diamond - Howell's hurt guys, I doubt if he could even stand here.

Chandler - Hey, that bitch is the heel, you dont say that kind of shit about his ass. You're supposed to be like 'good riddance, Howell getting a taste of his own medicine' or some shit like that. Damn. But hey, Nomad seems to be liking this.

The Informer - Obviously. Nomad picking Howell up, and grabs his leg. Picking him up...Shinbreaker! Aw man, that left leg of Howell has been attacked from top to bottom!

Chandler - And, when it comes to smelling his prey, you'd be hard pressed to find a better one than our great International Champ, even though I could really care less for the guy. He knows how to get the fucking job done in the ring, and he always has.

Paul Diamond - Revenge guys, revenge. Its good to see Nomad handing Howell HIS ass for a change. And now he's...figure four! Figure four leg lock!!

The Informer/Chandler/Paul Diamond - WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Fans - WOOOOOOOOO!!!

Chandler - Squeel Howell, Squeel like a little bitch! Ahahaha!! Figure four!!!

The Informer - And Nomad...Nomad's grabbing the bottom rope for leverage, and the ref can't see it!!! Howell has just got to be in excrutiating pain here guys!

Chandler - And he's right in the middle of the ring! If Howell has a fucking set he'll try to reverse this move, lets see if he can get the damn job done.

Paul Diamond - Look at his face! He's in pain, but he's trying to turn over this move!

The Informer - But guys, he can't turn the move with Nomad clutching the ropes like that! The ref needs to see this! I mean, I admit to being a Nomad fan, but you hate to see a match end THIS early, and a young guy like Howell become a cripple.

Chandler - I got this shit covered.

[As the fans cheer the blatent cheating of Nomad, Chandler puts down his headset and heads towards ringside, right by the action now.]

Chandler - Ref! Hey, ref! Look the fuck over here you idiot. You didn't see this shit goin on here? [Chandler kicks Nomad's hands off the ropes] You better pay more attention asshole, or you're ass is the next sacrifice. Match on.

[Chandler's actions recieve a chorus of boos from the fans...]

Chandler - Yeah, and me and all your mothers just had wild buttsex. Shut the fuck up, drones.

[Chandler goes back to his chair and puts back on his headset as the fans slowly stop booing and get their attention back to the match at hand.]

The Informer - Nice job.

Chandler - Fuck you.

Paul Diamond - Nomad's lookin' pretty pissed at you Chandler.

Chandler - Well hey, fuck him too.

The Informer - Nomad broke the hold! He broke the hold to come have some words with you, apparently, Chandler.

Chandler - What...an...idiot! Doesn't he do his fucking homework. Hey Nomad! Yeah I wouldn't be lookin' over here boy, because if that poor little bastad in the ring could walk, he'd be up and pin your ass right now.

[Nomad murmurs "yeah, fuck you too" from the ring, leaning against the ropes facing the announcers. Slowly, Howell clings to the top rope, and literally drags himself towards the back of Nomad, basically "walking the zipline", if you've ever seen a Tommy Dreamer match...]

Chandler - Yeah, well, turn around asshole. TURN...AROUND...

[Nomad turns around just in time to reverse savat kick Howell right in the leg! Howell immediately falls like a sack of bricks. Nomad immediately picks Howell back up and whips him into the ropes, and Howell immediately falls to the ground, grabbing his leg.]

The Informer - He can't stand under his own weight! The end could be near for Howell guys!

Chandler - Most likely, he's taking one hell of an assbeating. I mean, just a good ol' fashioned muhole stomping.

Paul Diamond - Nomad just made the signal for "that's it"! He's picking up Howell....AND HE'S SETTING HIM UP ON THE TOP ROPE!

Chandler - What the hell is this? Journeys End already?

The Informer - You betcha. Their both up there now...JOU...no!!!!!

Chandler - NOOOO!!!! ASIANIC SPIKE!!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

Paul Diamond - Howell, with his leg being like it is, didn't have the body weight in his body right..so...Nomad flipped over on the neck breaker, and because of the leg, Howell didn't!!! And Nomad ended up in front of Howell..and...well...MALICIOUS INTENT!!!

The Informer - HOT DAMN!!! THAT WAS THE BIGGEST CASE OF BACKFIRING I'VE EVER SEEN!!!!

Chandler - Hey, Nomad's foot is in the ropes, but Howell is PISSED OFF, and he's not breaking this shit! Its like... mimi-HIROSHIMA-. I told you he jacked my shit!

The Informer - The ref over to tell how to break the hold, giving him the five count, and he's not budging! Nomad, more than likely, bruised up every damn muscle in his left leg, and apparently Howell feels he's just gonna tear at Nomad's neck until somebody comes out here and stops him!

Chandler - Dont look at me, I'm enjoying this shit!

Paul Diamond - HE IS NOT BREAKING THIS HOLD GUYS!!!!! HE'S NOT BUDGING!!! HIS ENTIRE THUMB IS IN A MAN'S NECK!!!

The Informer - AND THERES THE BELL!!!! THE REF THROUGH THIS ONE OUT!!!

Chandler - WHAT THE FUCK?!?!! AWWWWWWW....HELL. THERE WILL BE NO DUSTY FINISHES ON MY GODDAMN TELEVISION SHOW. FUCK!

The Informer - But he's still not releasing the hold! LETS GET SOME DAMN HELP OUT HERE!

Paul Diamond - PLEASE!

Chandler - FINE, FINE. SECURITY, GET YOUR ASSES OUT HERE.

[With both men motionless, and both with faces of extreme pain, Nomad appears to be drifting off into unconsciousness. Howell tries to dig his thumb farther and farther. And security has finally made its way to the ring, breaking up the fracass.]

The Informer - THANK...GOD.

Chandler - Satisfied? Shit.

The Informer - Well fans, while they load up both of these guys into gurneys, I'm sure, lets take a commerical break. More TUESDAY NIGHT BALLZ when we get back.

Chandler - Cut.

Tom Stone - Mr. Waltzer, it is a pleasure to finally meet you.

Sean Waltzer - Mr. Stone, the pleasure is truly all ours. We are delighted that you could meet with us tonight on such short notice.

Tom Stone - Not a problem... what can I do for you?

[Stone maneuvers back to his seat, motioning for Waltzer to take the extra chair in the room while the soldiers stand at attention. Stone looks somewhat nervously at the Marines.]

Tom Stone - Are those guys always silent as rocks? [Slight chuckle]

Sean Waltzer - Mr. Stone, they are simply following orders to show the proper respect for a future employer... we at the Phoenix Organization pride ourselves in our professional attitude towards others, whether it be the charities we support or the companies who hire our men. Speaking of hiring our men, I understand you have arranged a deal for one of my top members?

Tom Stone - Yes, I have, Mr. Waltzer.

Sean Waltzer - Excellent.

[Waltzer turns to face the soldiers, standing to his feet as he does so and speaking in a raised tone.]

Sean Waltzer - Lieutenant Commander Norwood, step forward.

[The man in the back right corner of the pentagon steps his way methodically around the formation before coming face to face with Waltzer.]

Drew Norwood - Sir, yes sir!

[Waltzer sits back down to face Stone again.]

Sean Waltzer - There he is, Mr. Stone. Get to know him, for he is soon to be one of your top talents.

Tom Stone - What's your name again?

[The man at attention shouts out his response like a trained Marine at the end of boot camp.]

Drew Norwood - Drew Scott Norwood. Rank: Lieutenant Commander. Serial: 915A-7B32S4. Codename: Shadowhawk. Sir, yes sir!

Tom Stone - Does he have to yell like that all the time, Sean?

[Waltzer turns to face the crew.]

Sean Waltzer - At ease, men.

[The men all modify their stances into an at ease position and lower their voices accordingly.]

Crew - Sir, yes sir.

[Satisfied with this, Stone turns his attention back to the man.]

Tom Stone - What is it you desire in the EWA, Mr. Norwood?

[Norwood gets a slight look of disgust on his face and directs comments to Waltzer.]

Drew Norwood - Sir, I request that he be required to refer to me by my codename or my full rank and title.

Sean Waltzer - Oh yeah, Mr. Stone... forgot to mention that. These guys are proud of what they do and like the recognition for either their names earned in combat or their official title. So either call him Lt. Commander Norwood or Shadowhawk.

[Stone takes no time to decide which is easier.]

Tom Stone - Shadowhawk, what is it you wish to achieve in the EWA?

Drew Norwood - Sir, I wish to achieve a standard of excellence in the ring that would be representative of this organization, sir.

Tom Stone - Hmm... well, I grant you that you do know how to answer a question well enough to impress a federation owner. But what makes you think for one second that you are ready for EWA competition?

Drew Norwood - Just give me the chance, sir. I promise you that I will not fail you.

Sean Waltzer - He's right there, Stone. Norwood has the records for highest efficiency performances at each of the major Marine training facilities. He's one of the best we have to offer to your organization.

Tom Stone - Alright, alright... let me get the paperwork sent out to you tomorrow. Is that acceptable?

[Waltzer gets up to shake Stone's extended hand.]

Sean Waltzer - Quite.

Tom Stone - Alright, you can expect them faxed out first thing tomorrow morning.

Sean Waltzer - Excellent.

[Waltzer turns back to the crew.]

Sean Waltzer - Company... attention!

[Norwood rushes back into his spot and the crew stands at attention.]

Sean Waltzer - Mr. Stone... again, the pleasure was all ours tonight. But you shall receive your pleasure from hiring a member of The Phoenix Organization soon enough.

Tom Stone - I better.

Sean Waltzer - Goodbye for now.

[Waltzer and the crew exit the office, as Stone gets on the phone to arrange the paperwork to be sent. The cameras cut back to the commentators.]

Reckless - Are you a fucking retard or something?

Zed - Wha?

Reckless - I asked for a match and I got it. And you ask me if I'm happy? What the hell do you think? No, I'm not happy, I'M ECSTATIC. I get what I wanted. I get a chance to beat the living hell out of the Pegasus Warrior..AGAIN, I get to knock one of the fan favorites down a few nothces..AGAIN! I get to prove that I am the best ever in this business..AGAIN!

Zed - The Pegasus Warrior broke into your house last week and went peepee all over your title belt. Are you planning for some sort of revenge tonight?

Reckless - [Laughing] Peggy sure took a page out of my playbook last week, didn't he? It always seems that someone is out there trying to jack my shit. *sighs* I guess that's the price you pay for being an innovator. Am I out for revenge? Yes. I'm out for revenge, he desecrated my FWF title. But, now that I think of it, since the place reopened, Douglas will desecrate it even further by putting it on someone else's waist, but I digress. Peggy, you want to embarass me by breaking into my home? Tonight, I embarrass you by making short work of you in that ring.

Zed - Back to you boys at ringside...

Chandler - BALLZ GODDAMIT BALLZ. TUESDAY NIGHT BALLZ.

The Informer - Welcome back to Tuesday Night Ballz fans!!!

Chandler - And its MAIN EVENT TIME Baby!!!!

Paul Diamond - Its gonna be The Pegasus Warrior versus Reckless in a no count out, no disqualification match!! Now Chandler, your friend Serial Thrylla and Reckless are no strangers to each other, and as I understand it you and Peggy have a past also.

Chandler - Yeah, you could say that. I just kicked that fucking bitches ASS about a month ago, and unifyed all of those various world championships to finally have an undisputed and unquestionable heavyweight champion in this sport. Too bad our current champion is a fucking joke.

The Informer - Well, lets go down to Johnny Bones for the introductions

[Classic main event bell rings: *ding...ding...ding...*]

Johnny Bones - Ladies and Gentlemen, it is time, for our main event of the evening. A battle of two men who, while only being in the Extreme Wrestling Association for a short while, are true legends in the wrestling world. Tonight these two men tear into each other in a NO RULES, NO COUNT OUT match!!! And now, the participants...

Johnny Bones - First, hailing from wherever he damn well pleases, weighing in for this match at two hundred and thirty eight pounds, ladies and gentlemen, THE PEGASUUUUUUUS WAAAAAAAAAAAARIIIIIOOOOOOOOOORRR!!!!!

[Amid no theme music or pyro, The Pegasus Warrior confidantly makes his way to the ring. He calmy awaits his opponent.]

Johnny Bones - And his opponent, from Cincinatti, Ohio, weighing in tonight at two hundred and thirty five pounds, "The Hardcore Superstar" REEEEEEEEEEEEECKLESS!!!!!!!!!!!

[Reckless storms down the ailse and The Pegasus Warrior meets him at the bottom of the entrance ramp in front of the ring.]

Chandler - SLOBBER KNOCKER, SLOBBER KNOCKER!!!!

Paul Diamond - Fans, we're off! And it looks like a war already out there!

The Informer - These two men are going at it!!!

[Peggy gets the upperhand and throws Reckless into the steel guardrail. Pegasus follows him in with a foward rolling kick to the skull, a la Jushin "Thunder" Liger.]

Chandler - HA! Pegasus Warrior already pulling out the Japanese shit!!! If theres one person in this company that's as huge in Japan as I am, its that motherfucker right there.

[With Reckless down, Peggy reaches under the ring and pulls out.....]

[...A STEEL CHAIR! (letdown, eh?)]

The Informer - HERE COMES THE PLUNDER!

Paul Diamond - HARDWARE!!!

[Pegasus unfolds the steel chair and sets it on the outside right inbetween him and Reckless, who is sulking beside the steel guardrail. He gets some running room, gets a start and...]

Chandler - AIR SABU!!! AND RECKLESS MOVED!!! PEGASUS WARRIOR GOES FLYING INTO THE FRONT ROW!!

Paul Diamond - And Reckless is crawling. He's got the chair!!! Look out Peggy!!!! SICK!!!

[Reckless has taken the chair, and with it in his hand, ran and leaped over the entire steel guarrail, and put it under his thighs as he legdropped Pegasus, who was lying on a row of 4 chairs.]

Chandler - Good move!! COVER BY RECKLESS!!!

[Referee Mike Hunter counts onto the chair: 1...2....NO!!]

Chandler - KICKOUT!

[Reckless gets Peggy and drags him, pulling him over the steel guardrail, into the ring. He also throws the chair into the ring. He reaches under the ring, and pulls another identical chair out, and throws THAT one into the ring as well. He then climbs in himself.]

Chandler - In the words of the immortal Ben Grimm, ITS CLOBBERIN' TIME!!!

Paul Diamond - NICE!! Reckless looks to be doing something here. He's picking Peggy up, giving him a couple of stiff shots to the jaw, and he's sitting him down in a corner! A few more kicks for good measure.

Chandler - Hey, I've watched enough Yoshihiro -TAJIRI- matches to know what he's about to do. ITS FACESMASH TIME.

The Informer - He's laying one of those chairs across the skull of Peggy, and he's still got the other in his hand!! He's getting away...and he's running towards Peggy and...oh...my...GOD!!!!!

[With the chair in front of the Pegasus Warrior's face, Reckless runs towards him full speed and jumps, puts the 2nd chair under his feet in mid air, and stomps Pegasus Warrior right in the head. Holy shit indeed.]

Chandler - DAMN!!!

[Reckless pulls the bottom chair away from PW, and he's bloodied in the hair and forehead.]

Chandler - And to quote those great moviemaking brothers, WE GOT A BLEEDER!!

[Reckless tells the crowd, "i'm gonna end this shit now" and then proceeds to place both bloodied chairs in the middle of the ring, side by side. He picks up Peggy's limb body and caries him to the top rope.]

Paul Diamond - Hey! Lost Cause from the top rope?!?!?! OH MY GOD

Chandler - NO WAY!!

[As Reckless begins to do the move, Peggy suddenly jars him in the gut and with the swiftness of a lion picks Reckless up with his last ditch of strength and gives him a Pegasus Sunset Bomb through both of the chairs.]

Chandler - HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!! THAT'S IT FOLKS!!!

[Mike Hunter counts: 1...2...3]

Chandler - DAMN DAMN DAMN!!!! SHORT BUT SWEET!!!

The Informer - Wish that one couldn't gone longer.

Paul Diamond - WE HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF THESE TWO FOR SURE!!! WHAT A NIGHT WE HAVE JUST WITNESSED FOLKS! TUESDAY NIGHT BALLZ WAS A HUGE SUCCESS. For The Informer, and Clayton Chandler; I am Paul Diamond, saying stay safe. AND FUCK YOU TOM STONE!!! THIS IS THE TEAM BALLZ ERA NOW!!!

Chandler - Wait.. what the....

[The Cameras cut to the back. Serial Thrylla is being surrounded and hand cuffed by at least 10 Syndey police officers. Back to the commentary desk.]

The Informer - YES!! YES!! HELP HAS FINALLY ARRIVED!

[Just then, Chandler stands up, kicks the Informer square in the jaw and drops him through the announce table with a Big Timer DDT. We are then interrupted by an Oh-so-familiar voice.]

[A bruised, battered, and bandaged figure appears at the top of the entrance ramp.]

[Tom Stone, flanked by at least 12 of Sydney, Australia's finest dressed in full riot gear begin to storm towards the ring.]

[Chandler escapes through the crowd, avoiding imminent arrest. Stone climbs into the ring, grabs a microphone, and stares intently at the top of the arena where Chandler is standing amongst the crowd. The Sydney police force has dragged Thrylla out.]

Tom Stone - YOU!!!!!!!!! YOU WANNA BURN FLAGS!?!? YOU WANNA HATE YOUR COUNTRY!?!? YOU WANNA SHOW NO RESPECT TO ANY OF THE EWA WRESTLERS!??!?!?!?? THAT'S FUCKING DINE AND DANDY!!!!!! BUT, WHEN YOU GO SO FAR AS TO DESTORY MY SHOW... YOU'VE STEPPED OVER THAT FINE LINE BETWEEN A SHOOT AND SOMETHING SO PERSONAL... YOU'LL FUCKING KILL OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Chandler is just standing their, with a calm yet rage filled look. Thrylla is following suit.]

Tom Stone - YOU TWO HAVE MADE AN ABSOLUTE MOCKERY OF THIS COMPANY... DO EITHER ONE OF YOU THINK BEFORE YOU ACT???? YOU PUT ALMOST 20 PEOPLE IN A HOSPTIAL!!!! THAT'S 20 FAMILIES YOU PUT IN RUIN!!!! THESE PEOPLE NEVER HAD A BEEF WITH TEAM BALLZ!!! LAST WEEK, YOU TOOK YOUR SHIT TOO FAR.... TOO FUCKING FAR... AND THIS IS A GOD DAMN SHOOT IF I EVER LAID ONE DOWN..... AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED... AFTER SUNDAY NIGHT.... CONSIDER YOUR ASSES TERMINATED FROM THE EWA P-E-R-M-A-N-E-N-T-L-Y

[The collective jaw of Team Ballz just hit the floor.]

Tom Stone - YOU BOYS LIKE BURNING SHIT... SO YOU SHOULD ENJOY THIS!!!!!! THESE ARE YOUR CONTRACTS!

[Tom pulls out two pieces packets of paper from his back pocket and brings them to the flame of a burning lighter.]

Tom Stone - FUCK YOU BOTH.. CUT THE GOD DAMN CAMERAS!!!!!!...

[Fade to black.]