The Informer - WELCOME TO TUESDAY NIGHT HEAT FANS!!!! AND THIS WEEK, WE'RE LIVE FROM BERLIN GERMANY!!!!!

Vic Canon - Tonight is the EWA's SECOND stop out of SIX in our World Tour!

Eddie Sensation - And of course, we had to come to Germany! I'm shitting my pants here! LOOK AT ALL THE HITLER SIGNS!

The Informer - Hahaha! Well fans, we've got LOTS to do tonight, and not enough time to do it all! So lets begin!

The Informer - This can only mean one thing folks...

Vic Canon - We're about to be blessed with the presence of the TWO MOST DISGUSTING men on the planet.

[And now, that oh-so-familiar voice.]

[A succession of red and silver pyrobombs explode as "Bullet In Your Head" by Rage Against the Machine begins to fill the ears of the German crowd. Serial Thrylla emerges from the entrance ramp. Clad in a black leather jacket, Chandler 15:60 T-shirt, tan cargo pants, black Nike sneakers, and black on black Oakleys; Thrylla methodically makes his way down to the ring.]

The Informer - That was disgusting! Absolutely disgusting! What a traitor!

[Crowd is popping for Serial Thrylla. The Germans obviously aren't to fond of America.]

Eddie Sensation - These kraut bastards are giving him a standing O!

Serial Thrylla - BERLIN..... WELCOME TO..... A M E R I C A N P R I D E!

[Chants of D-F-A erupt in the stands.]

Serial Thrylla - Thank you... Thank you very much! However, before I go any further with tonight's ceremony.. I'd like to ask EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU NAZI KRAUTS TO SIT DOWN AND SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS... The German people have to be the most arrogant conglomeration of pricks on the face of god's green earth. But at least you're not ignorant like the Americans.

Vic Canon - He hates everyone.. What the hell happened to the Serial Thrylla of old??

Serial Thrylla - You people lost not one... but two world wars! TO AMERICA for Christ sakes! I blame your people DIRECTLY for the rapid decline of American society. Maybe if they didn't wipe the floor with your ass twice, the United States wouldn't be so ignorant. Maybe the United States wouldn't actually believe they've been granted the right to play God in all conflicts foreign to their soil. And Maybe they wouldn't believe the military was invincible

[The rowdy German crowd has now resorted to throwing objects into the ring to show their distaste for this former world renown hero.]

Serial Thrylla - Maybe you are as ignorant as the American people after all... It's unfortunate really... It's unfortunate NAZI philosophy didn't die after your second defeat. It's really fucking unfortunate it still thrives strongly today.... Right in the heart of the global police headquarters...... Washington D.C....

The Informer - Where is he going with this????

Serial Thrylla - That's right... The United States is the NEW NAZI REGIME. The only difference is, the U.S. isn't purging millions of innocent Jews. Why do I make this bold statement??? Well, How the hell do you think Hitler convinced your entire country to devote their lives to exterminating one particular ethnic sect?... It's as simple as a good old fashion BRAINWASHING..

Eddie Sensation - This man should be charged with treason and executed. BURN HIM AT THE STAKE.

Serial Thrylla - Why is America the new Nazi regime?? Because they're brainwashing all their citizens... Turning every "proud" American into a drone; All while the United States government is slowly exterminating free thinking and free speech... The very values it was fucking founded upon.

Serial Thrylla - Shame on every last one of you assholes in this crowd tonight... I can only wish that all of you rot in hell with your ancestors... Hopefully you'll suffer the same fate as the Jews you gassed 50 years ago... But now, for the portion of Tuesday night EVERYONE is waiting for...

Vic Canon - Oh great... here comes the other traitor.

[Blackout. Followed by that oh-so-familiar voice again.]

Voice - ... The Prophecy Continues ...

[A succession of red and silver pyrobombs illuminate the arena. "Bulls on Parade" by RATM follows the light show as the German fans immediately begin to jeer the new champ. Chandler comes out, clad in black Japanese karate pants, a brand new black on black Team Ballz jersey and title belts covering his ENTIRE body. The EWA World title and defunct Lightweight title around his waist, GWA World title/XWA World title on his left shoulder, BLW World title/eWWa World title on his right shoulder, and the APPW Triple Crown title around his neck.]

Serial Thrylla - I now pass the microphone... WITH GREAT PLEASURE.. Wrestling's grand slam champion and most importantly BRAND NEW EWA World heavyweight champion... CHANDLER!

Chandler - The prophecy.... you're looking at a huge chunk of it right here in this very ring..... GERMANY.... BOW BEFORE YOUR REAL CHANCELLOR.... [Mocking the Nazi forces w/his arm extended and his palm flat.] HEIL CHANDLER!!!!! HEIL CHANDLER!!!!! HEIL CHANDLER!!!!!

[The crowd responds with the loudest heat of the night, they do not like the Cajun mocking their darkest hours in the history of their nation.]

Chandler - I knew that would piss you people the hell off, I'm surprised you didn't mark out for Hitler... Anyway, I said that the world would get the answers they wanted next week. Well, the moment of truth has arrived.

Serial Thrylla - Ya damn skippy... For almost 2 years now, people have been making a call to Ballz, Team Ballz. Well, in round 1.. We did it for the money, we did it for Tom Stone, We did it for...

Chandler - The people... we're not going to count round 2 because we weren't there.. and.. in essence.. it was a damn joke... But round 3...

Serial Thrylla - How quickly things change! A completely different story. It took us long enough, but we finally realized something...

Chandler - To hell with the people! Who the hell wants millions of fucking pre-programmed drones cheering for them?

Serial Thrylla - Chris Jericho.

Chandler - What a god damn tool. Team Ballz is ALWAYS brought in for a reason. This time the reason was simple.. This around the block, Team Ballz is back for US and no one fucking else.

Serial Thrylla - I want every single person in this arena.... every single person at home.. To sit back in fucking awe and behold: Those 7 championship belts on Chandler's body represent a view things...

Chandler - Number 1, I beat Pegasus Warrior.. Reckless.. and Nomad at the Cornerstone Invitational for them.

Serial Thrylla - And number 2.. TOTAL DOMINATION. No one on this planet even compares to us. Why?

Chandler - Cuz no one has the Ballz that we have... We're not afraid to actually THINK for ourselves.

Serial Thrylla - R-e-V-o-L-u-T-i-O-n X were a group of "bad guys", but they were only mean and nasty because Stone asked them to be.

Chandler - The $hooter$, they have nothing more than a looooooong history of being puppets of the people. They're they fucking epitome of mindless drones.

Serial Thrylla - Hostile Youth? The Playaz Club? 3D? The God damn Syndicate??? Supposed rebels of the wrestling industry??? No.. more like creations of the corporate merchandising machine.

Chandler - Team Ballz isn't a mere "faction" or "stable". WE'RE REALITY!

Serial Thrylla - And it's a sad and sick reality EVERYONE now has to deal with.

Chandler - All your heroes are dead. Who are you going to look to now for help??? Jericho?

Serial Thrylla - Seems fitting, just another mindless drone. Save him the destruction, don't cheer him, that will only encourage him. IF YOU TRULY LOVE THE MAN, LET HIM GO HOME NOW!

Chandler - You think you can stop Team Ballz??? Well, it starts right here... THIS IS REALITY, see these 7 belts have now been officially united to make me the UNDISPUTED World champion of the EWA and of wrestling.

Serial Thrylla - Jericho.. find a partner you're really good friends with.. Because after tonight, that's who is going to be buried next to you.

Chandler - We want ALL OF YOU to remember one last thing...

Serial Thrylla - YOU'RE THE ONES WHO WANTED THE FUCKING VIOLENCE.

Chandler - AND WE'RE BRINGING IT TO YOU!! WHERE'S YOUR P R I D E NOW!?!?!?!??!?!

["Bullet In Your Head" begins to play as both Chandler and Thrylla climb opposing turnbuckles and salute the crowd with suggestive gestures and phrases.]

The Informer - THOSE TWO ARE DISGUSTING.. I HATE THEM BOTH!!!!

Vic Canon - What outrageous statements issued by the two most hated men in America and now Germany. Despicable!

Ethan Tyler - Not even booked at all.... No dark matches, no T.V. time, nothing.... Looks like Tom wanted to give me the week off, but how can I say no to Germany? Beautiful Deutschland! Yep, tonight's the night.... A night of more action and less talk. So without further ado, on with the show..... My show.

[As Ethan walks by, he stops and looks at the beautiful red sports car next to him. When he gets to the end of the car, he realizes he "accidently" keyed the whole side of the car]

Ethan Tyler - Whoops! Hate to be the owner of that car.

[Ethan walks away whistling as the camera zooms in on the liscence plate, it says Fenchel]

[Cameras then cut to Tom Stone in his personal office on his cell phone and he's livid]

Tom Stone - God damnit! Get all the extra security guys and find him and escort him from the building! You've never had any problems before!

[The conversation continues until Stone finally just sighs]

Tom Stone - Fine, wait until his ass gets in that ring tonight.....

[He hangs up the phone and slumps into a chair]

Tom Stone - Idiots.....

The Informer - Ethan Tyler is here and Stone doesn't like it!

Eddie Sensation - I got a feeling Tyler's up to some crazy shit tonight......

Vic Canon - We've got two matches for you tonight... they should give you an idea of how this tournament will run!!

Eddie Sensation - Yeah, probably SHITTY!!!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a World Tour Tournament First Round Match!

["Calm Like A Bomb" by Rage Against The Machine blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'4" and weighing in at 304 pounds, from Indianapolis, Indiana, The Wildman!

[The Wildman steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - And there's the Wildman! He could be one of the favourites to win this tournament!

Vic Canon - But so could his opponent, Iceberg Slim!

["Glaciers of Ice" by Raekwon blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... accompanied to the ring by The Posse, standing 6'5" and weighing in at 250 pounds, from Brooklyn, New York, Iceberg Slim!

[The Posse and Iceberg Slim are nowhere to be seen.]

The Informer - Uh oh... Whats going on here?

Vic Canon - I dont know! Iceberg Slim isn't coming out here!

Eddie Sensation - The ref is going over to talk to Chris Myers!

The Informer - Are there rules against this?? Are forfeits allowed?

Chris Myers - And the winner of this match by forfeit, The Wildman!

Vic Canon - I guess so!!!

Eddie Sensation - WAIT A MINUTE!!! LOOK!!!!

The Informer - LOOK OUT!!!! MADMAN JUST CAME OUT OF THE CROWD, AND GRABBED THE WILDMAN'S EXTREME TITLE!!

Vic Canon - MADMAN IS IN THE RING..... WHAM!!!!! HE NAILS THE WILDMAN WITH THE TITLE!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - AND NOW HE'S LEAVING!! AHHAHA!!! I LOVE IT!! HIT AND RUN!!! THIS MADMAN GUY IS COOL!!!!

The Informer - FANS, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!! DON'T GO AWAY!!!

Al Capone - What da hell is this!?

[The man in black flattens every jobber there and closes the door as cameras cut away]

International Cow - NOOOOOO!!!! Of course not Robbie, hey you know, I had a pet duck named robbie once... Robbie Williams... MOOO!

European Cow - NERVOUS?! Come on! We're cows!

Rob DiMarco - The way I look at this match, it's a rankings type of match. If you guys win, you will get a shot at the Iconz of Perfection for the #1 contendership for the Tag Team Titles! And we all know that's what you guys want! How far will you go to win this match tonight??

International Cow - As our good friend Habib says... I AM HABIB! You don't know what poor is until you've had to beat the cow for a place to sleep in the barn...THAT'S WHAT POOR IS!!! MOOO!!!

European Cow - Rob, we've already beaten every other EWA Tag Team... what makes you think we can't beat these two??

Rob DiMarco - Over to you Rachel!

Vic Canon - But the Cows In Black are here... this should be interesting...

Eddie Sensation - OH GREAT!! THAT MEANS THE SMELLY COW IS HERE!!

The Informer - Yup! Bessy is here!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall!

["Cows In Black" by Will Smith blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by Bessy, at a total combined weight of 545 pounds, International Cow and European Cow, the Cows In Black!

[Bessy and the Cows in Black step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - Awww man! You can almost see the smell of that thing coming off it's body!

Vic Canon - I feel sorry for those fans that are around the ring!

Eddie Sensation - Look at that kid! He's almost crying! HAHAHA!!

["Big Pimpin'" by Jay-Z blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - And their opponents... accompanied to the ring by Stacy Vaughn, at a total combined weight of 510 pounds, Jack Murphy and THC III, the Dark Ryders!

[The fans wait for Stacy Vaughn and The Dark Ryders to step out from behind the curtain, but that never happens...]

The Informer - Well obviously, they're not going to show up!

Vic Canon - Who knows Informer... maybe they're late!

Eddie Sensation - Umm, no... I doubt that... look at the smile on the Cows faces!

European Cow - Well well well!! Our opponents decided not to show up again!!!

International Cow - YES!!!!! IS GOOD YES!!!

European Cow - Shhhh....

International Cow - MOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

European Cow - So, now what is it?? We've beaten how many of the EWA's so called TOP tag teams?? If I'm not mistaken, we've beat ALL of them!!!

International Cow - MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

The Informer - Wow, he's pretty excited!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!!!!

European Cow - Wait a minute... International, do you hear that??

International Cow - mooo??

European Cow - I think we've got a signal coming through! Someone knows where the Dark Ryders are!

International Cow - IS GOOD YES??

European Cow - Yes!! Is very good! This way we can go beat their asses!!

[The EWA Big Screen fades into a shot of an empty parking lot. In the middle of this parking lot is a white limo, which has many spots of black spraypaint on it. The license plate reads "DRK RYDRS". The camera zooms in to see Jack Murphy, THC III and Stacy Vaughn all out cold on the ground, around the car.]

The Informer - WHAT THE HELL?!?! LOOK AT WHAT THOSE BASTARD COWS DID!!!!!!

European Cow - EWA, THE ONLY THING LEFT ARE THOSE TAG TEAM TITLES!!! MEXICAN CONNECTION, LOOK OUT!!! ISN'T THAT RIGHT BESSY??

Bessy - MOOOOOOO!!!!!!

International Cow - MOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Europen Cow - AND YOU JUST HEARD IT, STRAIGHT FROM THE COWS MOUTH!!!!

Vic Canon - THESE GUYS ARE INSANE!

Eddie Sensation - INSANE, BUT I LIKE IT!!!!!!

The Informer - FANS, WE'VE GOT TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK!!! DON'T GO ANYWHERE!!!

[Stone is walking towards the dressing room and he opens the door to see all the jobbers flattened out and the room is thrashed with garbage all over the place]

Tom Stone - Jesus Christ! What in the hell happened in here? God damnit! Someone clean this shit up!

The Hustler - Well, I think this idea by Fenichel was a great idea, even though I shouldn't really be considered "younger" talent. Christ, I've been doing this for a while. But, it's a great opportunity to get in the ring with some of the younger guys that I would never usually face, and test the waters of new talent in the EWA. Also, there's a number of already established wrestlers in the tourney as well, like Zed, Thorn, and Howell, which will surely cause a great event, with the clashing of all these guys with different backgrounds and styles. I don't think anyone can be disappoined by the World Tour Tournament, with the kind of talent competing in it.

Rachel Stevens - Your opponent; Brandon Kearse. What do you think of him as an athlete?? Any words for him??

The Hustler - I find Brandon Kearse to be a straight-up guy, and I've got no problem with him. He's a great talent, and the EWA is lucky to have him. But, if he thinks that I'm willing to elevate him into the next echelon of stardom, he better think again, really hard this time. True, I've got internal and external injuries from the Jailhouse match, but pain ain't nothing new to me. I've been wrestling for some time now, and I know how to work through it. Despite the injuries, Kearse will still see why I have been kicking ass for so many years now, and that's because I'm too damn good to be stopped by anything. Interferences, injuries, pressure, blood, sweat, tears.......and I'm still here. I've faced much more difficult challenges than Kearse, no offense to him. So, what makes him think he can just go right through me? What makes him any different? Try as he may, he will realize why I am Extremity At Its Best, and why this fuckin tourney is mine.

Rachel Stevens - Back to you guys at ringside!

Vic Canon - Indeed! And I hope this match is better then the last one! Hahaha!!

Eddie Sensation - Yeah!! That was horrible!!

The Informer - Well, what do you expect from Dave Fenichel?

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a World Tour Tournament First Round Match!

["Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by Ashley Kearse, standing 6'3" and weighing in at 250 pounds, from California, "The Foundation" Brandon Kearse!

[Ashley Kearse and "The Foundation" Brandon Kearse step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - There's Brandon Kearse! If he wins this tournament, it could do BIG things for his career!

["Walk" by Pantera blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'4" and weighing in at 242 pounds, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, The Hustler!

[The Hustler steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - And here comes The Hustler!! He's been out for about 2 weeks due to Masta Red's actions at Break Down!

Vic Canon - Yeah... he looks pissed!

Eddie Sensation - The Hustler slides into the ring! There's the bell!

The Informer - Brandon Kearse swings for a clothesline! Hustler ducks! Kearse turns around.... LOOK OUT!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - OOOOOOH!!!!!!!!! THE LUMBERJACK'S END!!!! HUSTLER NAILED IT!!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT?!?! ALREADY?!?!

The Informer - Yes Eddie! Already! The Hustler is going for the pin... 1...... 2..... 3!!!!

Vic Canon - And just like that, The Hustler moves on!

Chris Myers - And the winner of this match, The Hustler!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAHAHA!!!! THAT WAS QUICK!!!!

The Informer - And now The Hustler is getting the hell out of here! What a match for The Hustler!

Vic Canon - Did he just send a message to Masta Red or what?!?!

Eddie Sensation - And now look at him! The Hustler is standing at the top of the ramp with his arms raised!

The Informer - These fans are going NUTS!!!!!

Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!!!!! OOOOOOH!!!! OH MAN!!!!!!! MASTA RED JUST CAME FROM BEHIND, AND NAILED THE HUSTLER WITH THE MASTA PLEX!!!!

Eddie Sensation - DID YOU SEE THE HUSTLER'S HEAD BOUNCE?!?! WOW!!!!!

The Informer - FANS, DONT GO AWAY!!! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!!!!

Concession Guy - Look kid, I don't give a damn if you dropped the popcorn! I ain't giving you back your five fifty! Now make yourself damn useful and buy a soda!

Kid - Yow meen!

[The kid walks away pouting as the concession guy laughs]

Concession Guy - Hahaha!! Damn kids, so easy to rip off!

[The guy cleans his counter and laughs to himself, suddenly the guy in black sneaks up behind him and pushes the merchandise stand over on him. He picks up the guy and punches him a few times, then he nails the guy with soda holders. Then the black covered man throws the concession guy through the popcorn machine. Finally he lifts the guy up by his hair and sets him up on his counter and gives him a modified jawbreaker right off the top. The man claps his hands together, dusting them off and walks away]

[The lights finally come back on as the red glare fades revealing Don Michaels, in full Time Commando 4 regalia, standing in the center of the ring, amidst unconcious bodies. Michaels has a microphone in one hand. He looks to the crowd.]

Don Michaels - SEVEN FOUR IS TC4! GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!

[As he does so flyers and streamers descend from the rafters, all bearing portraits of the EWA's resident action hero Don Michaels. Don Michaels leaves the ring, but not before placing movie tickets on the chests of his unconcious new fans.]

Don Michaels - I know, I know twice in one night is probably more than your hearts can bear, but EWA, I'm back. First, I know everyone was expecting a joint interview featuring Iceberg Slim and myself, but Slim can't make it here tonight. He had a little run in with the Las Vegas police department, something about racketeering. But rest assured Slim will return soon. Now onto this world tournament.

Don Michaels - Fenichel, I know that you know my talents. But I can't tour the world with you next week, I can't participate at the next Tuesday Night Heat. Now I know ratings will plummet without me, but I have other things to do. For you see, next Tuesday is the fourth of July, which is 7/4 and as everyone knows: 7/4 is TC4. Now what kind of self respecting movie star doesn't go to his own opening night? So Fenichel, WaR CrYmE will have to wait a week or two before he can get another taste of The $uperkick. But EWA fans, I won't be at the show alone, I've given out plenty of "tickets" to TC4! Arthryn has some, So do Myzary and Anarchy. But I must say my favorite ticket holders have to be Lorenzo Hayes, and Dominique Toto.

[The EWA Big Screen begins to play a scene from Breakdown.]

The Informer - Michaels is up! Iceberg with a STANDING SIDE KICK!! NO!!! MICHAELS DODGED IT, AND THE KICK HIT LORENZO HAYES IN THE JAW!!!

Vic Canon - Was that an accident??

Eddie Sensation - I think so!! NEVERMIND!!!!! DON MICHAELS JUST HIT LORENZO HAYES WITH HIS MOVE, THE AUTOGRAPH!!!!!!

The Informer - IT'S A SETUP!!!!! IT'S A SETUP!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!!!

Don Michaels - I have to say, the weeks going into this were some of my best work. It almost makes me misty eyed when a plan comes together as perfectly as that one. Now I know a certain someone who's probably lying in a hospital bed, now this certain someone is probably turning away from the TV screen because he can't bear to look. But look at it Hayes! Look at it!

Don Michaels - Now once again, Domonique�who is your favorite wrestler?

Dominique Toto - "The $uperstar" Don Michaels.

Don Michaels - And who's your favorite actor?

[Tears roll down Domonique's eyes.]

Dominique Toto - "The $uperstar" Don Michaels.

Don Michaels - And who's your favorite Hollywood prettyboy?

Dominique Toto - "The $uperstar" Don Michaels.

Don Michaels - And who's the only King of Glitz and Glamour?

Dominique Toto - "The $uperstar" Don Michaels.

Don Michaels - And who's the true $tallion of $howbiz?

Dominique Toto - "The $uperstar" Don Michaels.

Don Michaels - And who's the real Hollywood Heartthrob?

Dominique Toto - "The $uperstar" Don Michaels.

Don Michaels - That's right Lorenzo, you heard it from your own fiancee. Don Michaels was the man, Don Michaels is the man, and Don Michaels will always be the man.

[Michaels' smile reaches from ear to ear upon hearing Dominique's words. He snaps his fingers again, and the Paparazzi rush to the ring with their cameras. Michaels puts his arm around the heartbroken Domonique Toto and smiles as they snap photos of the pair.]

Don Michaels - Now that you've seen this again Hayes, I have a few questions for you. How does it feel, knowing that I broke up The Iconz Of Perfection? How does it feel to lie in a hospital bed knowing that your future wife is the number one fan of the man who put you out of commission? I'll tell you how you should feel Lorenzo, you should feel like a failure. Back when we first crossed paths in the NHBWF I decided to mentor you. I gave you all the tricks of the trade, I taught you everything I thought you needed to know, I gave you my stamp of approval, hell I even gave you some of my spotlight; and what did you do with it? NOTHING! Nothing at all, you continued to get involved with losers like Johnny Olympus, and 8-Ball, you continued to align yourself with non-talent such as Papi Chulo and WaR CrYmE. You took the spotlight, the spotlight which I shared with you and squandered it Lorenzo. Worst of all you now think you're my equal! You're going around telling everyone that you're the Hollywood Heart-throb, that you're the $tallion of $howbiz. HAHAHAHAHA. Hayes, you've never been where I've been, or done what I've done; and you never will.

Don Michaels - So now it's time to put an end to the fa�ade Lorenzo, it's time for the $uperstar to show everyone who the real King Of Glitz and Glamour is. That's why every week, from now until the Cows In Black put up an interview, [Dramatic pause] I'm going to make your life a living hell, I'm going to remind you of the fact that you are a failure. I've already taken your partner from you, next I'm going to take your wife, then your career, and finally your pride. When I'm done with you, you'll never want to show your picture im perfect face again.

[Don Michaels and Jeanine Trujillo leave the ring.]

Arthryn - CRACKWHORE MOTHER FUCKER!!! BECAUSE I CAN!!

Rob DiMarco - Are you at all worried about The Gay Milk Man being at ringside?? What if he decides to get involved??

Arthryn - THEN HE'LL HAVE HIS DICK CHOPPED TO LITTLE FUCKING PIECES AND THROWN IN THE GODDAMN ASS-SUCKING-CUMING-CUNT-SPITTING GARBAGE AND USED AS DIVINE'S PEZ DISPENSER!!! Whoa...I just pulled another John 5!!

Rob DiMarco - Back to you guys at ringside!

Vic Canon - Exactly.. this match is going to be violent, to say the least!

Eddie Sensation - YES!!!! VIOLENCE!!!!!

The Informer - Hahaha!!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the EWA North American Championship!

["Hangman Jury" by Aerosmith blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'10" and weighing in at 312 pounds, from San Juan, Puerto Rico, the EWA North American Champion, Arthryn!

[The EWA North American Champion, Arthryn steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - And there's Arthryn! He looks focused!

Vic Canon - FOCUSED?! Did you just hear what Arthryn said backstage?!?!

Eddie Sensation - Yeah! It was a John 5 impersination!

The Informer - Hahaha! Exactly!

[John 5's entrance theme blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... accompanied to the ring by The Gay Milk Man, John 5!

[The Gay Milk Man and John 5 step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - HEY!!! LOOK OUT!!!! SOMEONE IS BEHIND JOHN 5, WITH A SHOVEL IN HIS HAND!

[DDDDDING!!!!!]

Vic Canon - OH MY GOD!!!!! THAT GUY JUST NAILED JOHN 5 IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A SHOVEL!!!! JOHN 5 WENT DOWN HARD!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - WHO IS THAT GUY?!?!

The Informer - I HAVE NO IDEA, BUT IT SAYS "MORAL" ALL OVER HIS PANTS!

Vic Canon - MORAL?? Ummm, okay! This Moral character has just attacked John 5 from behind for some reason!

Eddie Sensation - And look at the Gay Milk Man! He's just standing there, staring at John 5!! He's saying something to himself!!

The Informer - Probably something like... YOU MOTHER[BEEP]ING SON OF A [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Informer - Now Moral is standing there, with a shovel in one hand, pointing at Arthryn!

Vic Canon - And Arthryn is just standing there, laughing!!!

Eddie Sensation - Arthryn is going to get a shovel in the head if he doesn't be careful!!

The Informer - Hahaha! Well fans, we've got to take a quick break! Don't go anywhere!

Tom Stone - Damn, I want some popcorn..... WHAT THE F*CK!?

[Stone sees the ravaged concession stand and flips out]

Tom Stone - God damnit! Now I got to use the concession all the way on the other side of the arena.... Shit look at this mess! I'm gonna kill whoever did this!

[Stone walks away from the mess and makes a call on his phone]

El GiGante - Come on esa I don't think to much of the moronic muscle head. He's nothing but beef. War Cryme has no skill what so ever chico. Just look at my athleticism and then look at his goofy @#$. There's no comparison Di-Mar-Co. What kind of question is that meng? Every week I come on here every week esa and you make your self look like the biggest idiot I've seen.

Rob DiMarco - To tell you the truth Mr. GiGante I really like my questions. Now every week you come on here and complain about my questions. I'm really quite sick of it!

El GiGante - What did you just say ya little biotch?

Rob DiMarco - I said "I'm really quite sick of it!" There you go, you heard me!

El GiGante - Your damn lucky Di-Mar-Co that I'm in a good mood cause other wise you'd be lying flat on the ground right about now esa. Now les get this interview over I got a match to win if you know what I'm saying chico.

Rob DiMarco - We know Lorenzo Hayes won't be at ringside... He's still hospitalized... But, will Moochie be there? If so, have you given him instructions to help you out, if necessary?

El GiGante - As for that question meng you're just gonna have to wait and see. And thats all I gotta say about that. Now WaR CrYme if your sorry @#$ is listening be prepared to be "TOTAL ANNIHILATED!"

Rob DiMarco - Back to you guys at ringside!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall!

["Raw" by Staind blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'2" and weighing in at 245 pounds, from Albany, New York, WaR CrYmE!

[WaR CrYmE steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - WaR CrYmE has impressed the EWA suits recently... Lets see if he can continue doing that tonight!

["Rap Superstar" by Cypress Hill blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... accompanied to the ring by Moochie, standing 5'10" and weighing in at 175 pounds, from Brooklyn, New York, El GiGante!

[Moochie and El GiGante step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - And there's the bell! WaR CrYmE quickly takes down GiGante with a clothesline!! GiGante gets up again... ANOTHER clothesline!

Vic Canon - GiGante gets up one more time... Drop Kick by WaR CrYmE! And now WaR CrYmE is calling for his move! Genocidal Tendencies!

Eddie Sensation - Look out! Moochie is on the apron! WaR CrYmE see's him! He's going over Moochie!

The Informer - And now the ref trying to seperate them!! Wait a minute! LOOK OUT!! GiGante is up!!

Vic Canon - GiGante charges at WaR CrYmE! OOH!! WaR CrYmE moves, and GiGante and Moochie bump heads! GiGante stumbles backwards, WAR CRYME ROLLS HIM UP!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - OH NO!!!

The Informer - 1.... 2.... 3!!!!

Chris Myers - And the winner of this match, WaR CrYmE!

Vic Canon - OH NO!!! The Mexican Connection's plans aren't going too well!!!

Eddie Sensation - GiGante is pissed!! And Moochie is out on the floor, not knowing what the hell just happened!!

The Informer - WaR CrYmE is getting the hell out of here! He doesn't want to be apart of the Mexican Connection's fury!

Vic Canon - Would you?!

Eddie Sensation - Hey, what's that blinking red light??

The Informer - SHUT UP!!!!!! Fans, we've got to take a commercial break!! We'll be right back!!

Guy - Blah blah blah..... Okay, this is where we're at right now...... Perfect time... Great, everything is going just as planned.....

[The guy goes through his papers as the man in black appears and he runs up and hammers the man in the head with the chair. He then grabs the papers and lights them on fire.]

"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Brink is a person who everyone knows that I detest. His in-ring ethics are about as solid as a glass of steaming hot water. I don't want to stand here and criticize him for every one of his faults, we just don't have that much time. But, I am in a very strange situation here. Mr. Tom Stone, the President of this company, has decided to put me in a match with Brink on MY team! What was going on in this man's head when he thought up this one. Well, we may not know what was going on, but we know what was missing...common sense. Don't get me wrong though, Mr. Stone is a very...very...um...smart guy. Yeah, that's a good one. But, when it comes down to making the decisions that count, his head couldn't be any farther up his ass. But enough of him, the question you asked me concerned Brink. As I became a member of the EWA, I noticed many different things about him. For example, Brink has been in this federation for quite some time and by now, has learned many different things. He has also held a record of 13 wins. But now that I am here in this federation, things are going to change, and the day that Brink gets 2 wins in a row against me, is the day I roll over and die.

Rob DiMarco - Are you looking for the win tonight, or just to get at The Brink some more??

"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - You know what, I can't really answer that. Sure, it would be great to go 1-0 in the EWA, but I think getting my hands around Brink's neck may be a little more pleasing. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens. But one thing is for sure, tonight, someone will feel the...TRICK OR TREAT!!

Rob DiMarco - Over to you Rachel!

Hacker - Brink, your a former EWA champion. You must be so proud of yourself, you must pat yourself on the back everyday saying "I was a good little EWA champion" but the EWA that you dominated is not the EWA of today. Brink, you have a hostile partner but me and Bryan are gonna be going to the top of the EWA tag team division.

Bry2K - ..........

Hacker - you gonna say something?

Bry2K - ..........

Hacker - just be that way.

Bry2K - ......hey yo!

Hacker - wrong gimmick Bryan.

Bry2K - We haven't seen that mang in a long time, the gimmick's mine chico.

Hacker - whatever man..

Bry2K - You still owe me for what I did at Breakdown.

[Hack hands Bry2K a $10 bill.]

Bry2K - It's repaid. Anyways, Cortez and Brink, you two can't get along can you? Go get a peer mediator or something because me and Big Hack didn't come to Germany to hear you bitching and fueding. The Bad Mang and Big Hack are hear in Germany to kick your asses and drink beer, and we just ran out of beer.

Rachel Stevens - Is this something we're going to see often?? Hacker and Bry2k in Tag Team Matches??

Bry2K - Big Hack and the Bad Mang are gonna be in the tag team division. We may be singles wrestlers before but we can still beat any team in our paths, right Big Hack?

Hacker - Yeah Bryan.. lets name names.

Bry2K - lets name names..

Hacker - Cows in Black.

Bry2K - Lame parody act that no one laughs with but they laugh at it.

Hacker - Icons of Perfection

Bry2K - I've seen better wrestlers dubbed Perfect that were gleems in Stan Stasiak's eye.

Hacker - Rachel, you hot piece of ass... You know you wanna get friendly with us.

Bry2K - You know I have that Latino He--

Hacker - Bryan, you heard of Eddy Guerrero?

Bry2K - doesn't he play Cheech?

Hacker - the AWA has rotted your brain. EWA, you have seen alot but when the Big Hack Daddy and the Bad Mang unite, you will see your tag teams fall like dominoes.

Bry2K - Every team go down faster than Rachel

Rachel Stevens - Back to you Rob!

Bry2K - C'mon, quit teasing me, show us what we all wanna see.

The Brink - Rob... Take a journey back in time with me for a minute.. No, not BACK TO THE FUCKING FUTURE.. but back to let's say.. My tag team match with Thorn... It was supposed to be me and Thorn against a couple of jobbers... If we had worked together, it would have definitely been an easy win... but did we win?

Rob DiMarco - Uhh..

The Brink - No.. we didn't.. And do you know why we didn't win?

Rob DiMarco - Uhh..

The Brink - We didn't win, because matches like these are total fuckjobs. Thorn turned on me in that match.. just like Tiki is going to tonight.. This is just another prime example of how much Tom is trying to fuck me over... Tom, I've fucking had it... and SOON, you'll get yours.

Rob DiMarco - Are you looking for the win tonight, or just to get back at Tortez??

The Brink - I just fucking told you, you deaf ass fucking whore-lady. There is no chance for a victory tonight.. it's a battle I'm determined to lose... but shit happens.. It's the Alamo all over again.. Get ready you fucking mexican... cuz you've been hanging on the brink since day one... and you're bound to fucking fall... Take.... The.... PLLLLUUUNNNGGGEEEE!!!!

Rob DiMarco - Back to you guys at RINNGGGSSSIIIIDDEEE!!!!

The Brink - Shut the fuck up DiMarco.

Vic Canon - With some not-so-classic teams!

Eddie Sensation - Yup!

The Informer - Lets send it to Chris Myers!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall!

["Counterfeit" by Limp Bizkit blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... Hacker and Bry2K!

[Hacker and Bry2K step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - These two are the newest team in the EWA's Tag Team Division... lets see what they can do!

Vic Canon - They'll be up against Tiki and Brink... I dont know if this will be much of a test!

Eddie Sensation - Huh? Are you saying they suck?

The Informer - No you moron! He's saying they're disfunctional!

["I Disappear" by Metallica blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Next... accompanied to the ring by Tr� Parker, standing 6'6" and weighing in at 252 pounds, from Lisbon, New York, "Tricky" Tiki Tortez!

[Tr� Parker and "Tricky" Tiki Tortez step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - Wait a minute... Look at Tiki! He's hiding!!

Vic Canon - From what?!

Eddie Sensation - THE BRINK YOU IDIOT!!!!

The Informer - ....exactly!

["DescenT" by Fear Factory blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - And finally... standing 6'6" and weighing in at 266 pounds, from Charlotte, North Carolina, The Brink!

[The Brink steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - LOOK OUT!!!! TIKI HAS JUST ATTACKED THE BRINK FROM BEHIND!!! THEY'RE THROWING LEFTS AND RIGHTS!!!

Vic Canon - These two aren't exactly friends!!! HAHAHA!!!

Eddie Sensation - SHUT THE HELL UP VIC!!!

The Informer - Tortez and Brink have fought into the backstage area! And now Bry2K and Hacker are standing in the ring, not knowing what to do next!

Chris Myers - The winners of this match by referee's decision... Bry2K and Hacker!

Vic Canon - Well, there you have it!

Eddie Sensation - Wow, that match sucked!

The Informer - Damn right! We'll be right back fans!

Tom Stone - Damnit! What the hell is going on here!? Jesus someone's going to pay for this!!!!!

[Tom notices the burning pile of papers]

Tom Stone - Shit!

[Stone stomps them out until the fire is well out, then he looks up and slowly....stops........stomping as his jaw drops and his face turns just a slight bit pale]

Tom Stone - Oh..... God......

[Stone gets on the phone and starts yelling at security as he runs down the hall and the camera shows what Stone saw on the wall, in red spray paint it simply says......]

Nomad - Yeah, because the pussy isn't important enough to get my attention like a normal person. He knew that if he layed down a challenge, I would fight more deserving people before him. So he took my fucking belt, and now I have no choice but to kick his ass to get it back. Now he got his fucking match. Now he's got his shot. But what's he gonna' make of it, Rob? Huh?! What the shit do you think Howell will do with his long-awaited EWA International Title shot?!

Rob DiMarco - Uhhh....

Nomad - SHUT YOUR FACE!!! He's gonna' blow it, just like everyone before him. He may be able to stand alongside people like Nuno Nitrowalawitz, Dino Delsante, Arthryn, and all the other second-string EWA quasi-jobbers, but he can't stand with me. He can't compete with Nomad. I'm a former EWA World Heavyweight Champion. That's something these lowlifes can barely even DREAM OF. I've beaten Serial Thrylla and Chandler, the latest incarnation of Team Ballz, at the same time. Who else on the EWA roster can claim that?! WHO ELSE IN THE WRESTLING BUSINESS CAN CLAIM THAT?! ANSWER ME, ROB!!!

Rob DiMarco - Ummm....no one, I think....

Nomad - Good fucking call, numbnuts. I'm in a league of my own. I stand with no one, because no one deserves to be anywhere but in my shadow. I am the measuring stick, Rob. Not just in the EWA, but in the world. And to be blunt, Thurston Howell just doesn't measure up.

Rob DiMarco - Are you at all worried about Nuno, or is he done with?

Nomad - FUCK NUNO. IF I SEE HIS ASS AGAIN, HE'S DEAD.

Rob DiMarco - Ummm... Over to you Rachel!

"The Psycho" Thurston Howell - Rachel open your damn eyes and clean out the wax in you ears!! I am the damn International Champion!!

Rachel Stevens - Well sorry but I, along with every EWA fan, didn't see you pin him for that title!

"The Psycho" Thurston Howell - Well Rachel it is quite simple, I don't need to pin Nomad to become the International Champion. Before he came back to the EWA I had everything going my way and was on the verge of winning the EWA International Championship, but you all know Tom Stone put my on the sidelines for my psychotic like attitude. So it is plain to see I deserve this championship a lot more then the has-been Nomad, so I have been rewarded with this championship and there is nothing you, Tom Stone, Nomad, or anyone else can do about it! Because Rachel, you do not hunt what you can't kill!

Rachel Stevens - Back to you guys at ringside!

Vic Canon - Right.. Thurston Howell thinks he's the champion, when we all know that it's Nomad who's the champion!

Eddie Sensation - Vic, you're such a f'n moron...

The Informer - Easy Eddie... Lets send it to Chris Myers!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the EWA International Title!

["Time Bomb" by Godsmack blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'2" and weighing in at 256 pounds, from New York, New York, the EWA International Champion, Nomad!

[The EWA International Champion, Nomad steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - Well, you heard the announcement... Nomad is your International Champion!

Vic Canon - But that's not what Thurston Howell thinks! And soon, we're going to find out just who is the better man!

Eddie Sensation - They dont call him "The Psycho" for nothing! Nomad thinks he's all bad?? HA!! He better not piss off Howell!

[Suddenly, the arena lights go out...]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'4" and weighing in at 248 pounds, from Greenwich, Conneticuit, "The Psycho" Thurston Howell!

[A dim light shines on "The Psycho" Thurston Howell, as he steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring to the sound of NO entrance music.]

The Informer - Wow... This is strange! No entrance music for Howell??

Vic Canon - Pretty weird... hold on, he's got something to say!

"The Psycho" Thurston Howell - Nomad I see you up there with your game face on getting ready to engage in a fight you can't win with me. But I have decided to spare you just once, well for tonight away, because Nomad there will be no International Championship match tonight, maybe I will give you a shot at it next week or something, so I will let you live another week. But Nomad it isn't a total loss, you will still get your ass kicked tonight because I have found an opponent of my choosing to step in the ring with you. You might know him as a Hot Damn Gigolo, but he isn't paid for sexual acts anymore!! Laides and Gentlemen, I introduce to you, "The Psycho" Nuno Nitrowalawitz!

Eddie Sensation - HUH?!?! "THE PSYCHO" NUNO NITROWALAWITZ?!?!

The Informer - What the hell is going on here?

["Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit blasts through the speakers, as Nuno Nitrowalawitz steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAHAH!! LOOK!!!! NUNO IS DRESSED LIKE THUSTON HOWELL!!! HE'S GOT A MASK ON AND EVERYTHING!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!

The Informer - HA HA!!! This is pretty funny!! Fans, Nuno is about to get.... KILLED!

Vic Canon - Nuno slides into the ring!! He swings at Nomad with a clothesline! No! Nomad ducks, and NAILS NUNO WITH A LARIAT!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAH!!! Look! Howell is watching the match from the entrance aisle! That's gotta get Nomad nervous!

The Informer - I doubt it! Nuno is up... ANOTHER BIG CLOTHESLINE BY NOMAD!

Vic Canon - Nuno gets up, this time slower and more causiously... LOOK OUT!!!!! OOOOH!!!!! THE WANDERING!!!!! THE WANDERING DDT!!!! NOMAD NAILED NUNO WITH IT!!!

Eddie Sensation - And now Nomad is calling for the Journey's End! Nomad is setting up Nuno on the top rope!

The Informer - LOOK OUT!!!! HERE COMES THURSTON HOWELL!!

Vic Canon - He's on the apron! Nomad doesn't see him! OH!! OH NO!!! THURSTON HOWELL HAS SOME KIND OF HOLD APPLIED!!! NOMAD IS GOING DOWN, VERY QUICKLY!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - NOMAD IS DOWN!!!! HE'S NOT MOVING AT ALL!!!!!!! THE REFEREE IS CALLING FOR THE BELL!!!

The Informer - Wait a minute!!! That's what Howell was talking about! That's his new move! "Malicious Intent"!!!!!

Vic Canon - MALICIOUS INTENT?!?! HE ALMOST JUST KILLED NOMAD! NEVERMIND MALICIOUS!

Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and STILL EWA International Champion, Nomad!

Eddie Sensation - HOLY SHIT!!!! NOMAD STILL ISNT MOVING!!! THAT MOVE IS CRIPPLING!!!

The Informer - And now Howell is walking out of here with his hands raised, and the International Title over his head! Ohh, big man! Attacking Nomad when he's not looking!

Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!!!!! WHAM!!!!! OOOH!!!! ARTHRYN JUST NAILED HOWELL FROM BEHIND!!!

Eddie Sensation - ARTHRYN NAILED HOWELL IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH HIS NORTH AMERICAN TITLE! AND NOW HE'S GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!

The Informer - Wow! This is strange! You've got to be wondering, did Arthryn just do what he did because of the tournament?

Vic Canon - What?? Tournament??

Eddie Sensation - Informer, what the hell are you talking about??

The Informer - Well, in 2 weeks, Arthryn and Thurston Howell will have a first round match in the EWA World Tour Tournament! Maybe Arthryn's just getting ahead of Howell with some mind games!

Vic Canon - Informer, you think too far ahead...

Eddie Sensation - Yeah, and I dont like that!! You damn brain!

The Informer - Fans, we've got to take a quick break! Don't go anywhere!

[The words fade out as something bigger hits the screen]

[Nothing happens for a few seconds until a loud noise is heard and something comes crashing through the EWA video wall! The man lets go of his rope and rolls down the aisle. When he gets up the man in black shakes the cobwebs out of his skull.]

Vic Canon - WHAT THE HELL IS THIS GUY DOING!?

The Informer - First he attacks a bunch of stars, practically kills a concession guy and his stand, then he lays out an EWA employee, and he caps it off by crashing through the EWA Video Wall! Who in the hell is this guy!?

[The masked man removes his black mask and the fans go nuts]

Eddie Sensation - ETHAN TYLER! IT WAS ETHAN TYLER! NOT ONLY DID HE ATTACK A LOCKER ROOM FULL OF WRESTLERS, AND EMPLOYEE, AND OUT BELOVED VIDEO WALL, HE ALSO DESTROYED FENICHEL'S CAR!

Ethan Tyler - Do you understand me yet Tom? Do you get what I'm trying to say? or do I still have to yell I WANT IN THE EWA ON T.V.! GET OUT HERE NOW!

[Tom Stone storms out with a mic in his hand and he looks wicked pissed]

Tom Stone - YOU SON OF A BITCH! I can understand Fenichel's car, in fact, I could care less about Fenichel's car! You attacked a group of low paid losers and thrashed their locker room... I could care less about that, in fact I think it's pretty god damn funny. Next you beat the living crap out of one of my concession stands! I don't blame you for that, the soda is flat. But you then proceeded to attack an employee and burned his papers... No problem..... You then vandalized the wall, I could care less, the arena has to pay for it and not me. But when you crashed through my baby, my pride, my precious toy....

[Tom starts to cry but then he collects himself and regains his composure]

Tom Stone - My video wall! and you expect me to allow your stupid pansy ass into MY federation on MY TELEVISION TIME!? Well, I tell you what boy, you want your shot at the big time?

Ethan Tyler - YEAH!

Tom Stone - You want your shot at wrestling under these lights?

Ethan Tyler - You're damn right I do!

Tom Stone - Ok then cowboy, you call yourself a hero? Prove it next week! You will wrestle next week!

[The crowd goes nuts as Stone walks away and Ethan starts jumping up and down and going bonkers]

Ethan Tyler - Next week Tom, I will show the world exactly what I have....... Next week, the underground is going MAINSTREAM!

["Fire Up the Shoesaw" by Lionrock plays as Ethan celebrates in the ring]

The Informer - Finally that kid got what he wanted, but who knows what the hell Stone has planned for next week!

Eddie Sensation - True, Tom isn't too happy with what Ethan has done..... This is ten times as bad as when Divine filled his car with piss! Next week won't be a good week for Ethan Tyler, I'll tell you that.

Vic Canon - Good, that video wall that little shit broke is probably coming out of our checks!

Chris Jericho - Let me think about that one Rod.... Ummmm NO! And please stop touchig me....

Rob DiMarco - Right... Have you at least chosen a partner?!

Chris Jericho - Your about to find out Rod... Let's just say I enjoy drinking HOMO milk.... and I have BIG surprises for the EWA! It will NEVER E-E-E-EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!

Rob DiMarco - Over to you Rachel!

Serial Thrylla - If anyone in the back had a pair, they'd say no to Jericho in a blink of an eye. Who the hell wants to be paired with a corporate tool? Who the hell wants to play the emotiosn and desires of a few million people? If anyone in the back has a pair of BALLZ, they'll stop pleasing everyone else on this planet and start living life for themselves. It's called individualism and it's a tragedy it no longer exists anywhere in American society.. or for that matter global society. Unfortunately, someone will stupid enough to accept his offer. I just hope a German hospital will be suitable place to spend the rest of this evening.

Rachel Stevens - Well, it's written in the EWA Rulebook that once a new champion is crowned, a re-match is manditory!! When will Chris Jericho get his rematch?? Will he have to wait until Global Threat 2000?

Chandler - Rachel, allow me to bring you into reality. Team Ballz doesn't follow fucking rules; we think for ourselves. And, in case you haven't noticed, I'm now the World Champion of wrestling.. I'll make my own god damn rules. If you don't like that, then change reality. But you're gonna have to put us down first.

Rachel Stevens - Back to you guys at ringside...

Vic Canon - Who could it possibly be?? Who could be the man who helps Jericho defeat Team Ballz tonight??

Eddie Sensation - Well if you guys would SHUT UP, maybe we'd find out!

The Informer - Right...... here we go!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall!

["Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against The Machine blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... at a total combined weight of 477 pounds, the EWA Heavyweight Champion, Chandler and Serial Thrylla, Team Ballz!

[Chandler and Serial Thrylla step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - And there's Team Ballz! In the past, they've been EWA hero's.. the ones to fight for the EWA! Now, they're SCUM!

Vic Canon - Yes, they're scum, but they're also two great athletes! And to proove that, Chandler has the EWA Heavyweight Title around his waist! He's the ONLY 2 Time World Champion, and Serial Thrylla is the FIRST EVER EWA World Champion! Them two put together gives you one hell of a team!

Eddie Sensation - And that team is going to be almost impossible to beat!

The Informer - Exactly... that's why we're so curious about Jericho's partner!

["Walls Of Jericho" blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Next... accompanied to the ring by Mandi, standing 5'11" and weighing in at 230 pounds, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, "The Franchise" Chris Jericho!

[Mandi and "The Franchise" Chris Jericho step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - And here he comes... only with Mandi! I guess this partner is going to get his own seperate entrance?

Vic Canon - I guess... Wait a minute! Jericho just slid into the ring! There's the bell! He's starting this match ALONE!

Eddie Sensation - DUMB MOVE!!! Thrylla and Chandler are kicking and punching at him! They're going to make him apart of the mat!! HA HA!!

The Informer - Chandler throws Jericho to the ropes! Thrylla swings with a clothesline, Jericho ducks! OH!!!!!!! CHANDLER NAILS JERICHO WITH A SPINEBUSTER!!!!!

Vic Canon - MY GOD! Jericho had his head down! He didn't see it coming!

Eddie Sensation - And now Thrylla is going to the top rope! Look at Chandler! He's holding Jericho's legs down!

The Informer - Serial Thrylla is perched on top! LOOK OUT!! OH!!!!! ELBOW DROP FROM THE TOP!!!!!

Vic Canon - MY GOD! JERICHO IS TAKING A BEATING!

Eddie Sensation - Look! Now Chandler is calling for the Big Timer!

The Informer - No! This could put him out for good! After this beating, a Big Timer could give Jericho a concussion! Thrylla picks up Chris Jericho... Chandler sets him up! ......WHAM!!!!!! OH MAN!!!!!! BIG TIMER BY CHANDLER!!!!! JERICHO IS OUT!! THATS IT!!!

Vic Canon - And now Chandler is going for the cover! This match is over! Get an ambulance out here for Chris Jericho!

Eddie Sensation - Chandler with the pin...... 1....... 2.........

The Informer - No! What the hell?!?! Chandler lifted Jericho off the mat!! What the hell for?!?! IS THIS NOT ENOUGH???

Vic Canon - OH GREAT! CHANDLER AND SERIAL THRYLLA ARE POINTING TO THE TOP ROPE! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!

Eddie Sensation - DFA!!!!! DUMB FUCKING AMERICANS!!

The Informer - WATCH YOUR MOUTH EDDIE!!! WE'RE LIVE!!!! YOU CANT SAY THAT!!!

Vic Canon - Chandler is setting up Chris Jericho on the top rope! This could end Jericho's career! He's already out cold, he can barely sit straight on the top rope!

Eddie Sensation - Thrylla is climbing up there! He's got Jericho set up! This is it!

The Informer - WHAT THE HELL?!?! WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!?!

Vic Canon - Ahhh, Stone probably didn't pay his bills again!

Eddie Sensation - WHO'S TOUCHING ME?!?! VIC, IS THAT YOU?! YOU FAG!!! STOP TOUCHING ME!

Vic Canon - IM NOT TOUCHING YOU!!!!! DONT BLAME ME!!!

Eddie Sensation - THEN WHO'S HAND IS THIS?!?!

The Informer - NOT MINE!! MINE ARE RIGHT HERE!

[Suddenly, "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred blasts through the speakers, and the lights come back on to see DIVINE standing behind Eddie Sensation!]

Vic Canon - OH MY GOD!!!!! IT'S DIVINE!!!!! DIVINE!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! A FAG WAS FEELING ME UP!!!! A FAG!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

The Informer - DIVINE IS ON THE APRON!!!! OOOHHHHH!!!!!! DIVINE JUST SHOVED THRYLLA OFF THE TOP ROPE, AND HE LANDED ON HIS BACK ON THE OUTSIDE!!

Vic Canon - HERE COMES CHANDLER!! CHANDLER SWINGS FOR A CLOTHESLINE AT DIVINE!!!! DIVINE DUCKS.... SHOULDER TO THE STOMACH! SUNSET FLIP BY DIVINE!! HE'S GOING FOR THE PIN!!!!!!!!! 1...... 2..........

Eddie Sensation - NOOOO!!!!! CHANDLER KICKED OUT!!! GOOD!! I HOPE THAT FAG DIES!! HE CANT TOUCH ME LIKE THAT!!!!

The Informer - CHANDLER IS UP! HE CHARGES AT DIVINE! DIVINE KICKS HIM IN THE GUT......... OOOH!!! YES!!! YES!!! IT'S OVER!!!! DIVINE INTERVENTION!!!!!!!! HE NAILED HIM WITH IT!!!!!!

Vic Canon - WAIT A MINUTE! LOOK! JERICHO IS UP!!! HE RUNS TO THE ROPES..... ASAI MOONSAULT!!!!! ASAI MOONSAULT!!!!! HE NAILED CHANDLER WITH IT!!! JERICHO GOES FOR THE COVER!!!!! 1........ 2.........

Eddie Sensation - NO!!!!!! THRYLLA JUST PULLED THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING!!!!!

The Informer - THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!! JERICHO HAD IT WON!!!!

Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!!!!!!!!!!! OOOOH!!!!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - JERICHO JUST FLEW OVER THE TOP ROPE, AND NAILED THYRLLA WITH A BIG SPLASH!!!!!!!

The Informer - I'm STILL in shock! Divine is Jericho's partner?! HOW?! WHY?!

Vic Canon - Right now, I dont think anyone cares! Divine and Jericho are taking care of Team Ballz, and these German fans are loving it!

Eddie Sensation - Jericho is back in the ring! And Divine just said something to him!

The Informer - Now what?? Jericho is picking up Chandler, and holding his arms back! What's Divine going to do??

Vic Canon - HAHA!! YES!!! DO IT!!!!! DIVINE JUST POINTED AT CHANDLER'S.... Well, YOU KNOW!

Eddie Sensation - NO!! THIS FAG IS GOING TO TOUCH CHANDLER'S NUTS!!!!!! HE SHOULD BE ARRESTED FOR WHAT HE DID TO ME!!!!

The Informer - DIVINE IS GOING FOR A HAND FULL!!!!! HAHA!!! CHANDLER IS SHAKING HIS HEAD!!! HE'S PLEADING HIM NOT TO DO IT!!!!

Vic Canon - OOOH!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAH!!! DIVINE HAS A HAND FULL OF CHANDLER'S JEWELS!!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - ARREST HIM!!! ARREST HIM!!! THATS SEXUAL HARASSMENT!!!

The Informer - Thrylla is up! He's in the ring again!

Vic Canon - Here comes Jericho! OOOH!!! JERICHO CLOTHESLINES THRYLLA BACK OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!!

Eddie Sensation - Look!! The ref is back in the ring! He's trying to get Divine off of Chandler!! Divine still has a hand full!!!

The Informer - And Chandler is down on the mat!! He's in an enormous amount of pain!!

Vic Canon - HA!! LOOK AT THE REF!!! He's pushing Divine around, trying to get him to let go!!!!

Eddie Sensation - AHHHHH!!!!!!! DIVINE JUST GRABBED THE REF'S NUTS!!!!!!! THE REF IS GOING CRAZY!!!!!!

The Informer - OH NO!!! THERE'S THE BELL!!! THE REF HAS CALLED FOR THE BELL!!! AND FINALLY, DIVINE LETS GO!!!

Chris Myers - The winners of this match by disqualification, Serial Thrylla and Chandler, Team Ballz!

Vic Canon - What a shame! Divine and Jericho had these two right where they wanted them! I guess Divine's feelings got the best of him! HA HA!!

Eddie Sensation - This isn't the end Divine!! You'll hear from my lawyer!!! You're going down buddy!

The Informer - Serial Thrylla is helping Chandler to his feet, and they're trying to walk to the back! But Chandler is having a little trouble!

Vic Canon - HA HA!!!!

Eddie Sensation - Look at Thrylla and Chandler! THEY'RE PISSED!!!!

The Informer - But look at Jericho and Divine!!!! They're laughing their heads off!! They're loving this!!!

Vic Canon - Just like everyone in Germany!

Eddie Sensation - NEXT WEEK DIVINE!!!! NEXT WEEK!!!! YOU'LL GET YOURS!!!!

The Informer - Yeah yeah! Well fans, we're running out of time! Is Divine the solution to Team Ballz??

Vic Canon - Who knows!

The Informer - Thanks for joining us fans! See you next week in London, England, for MORE EWA Tuedsay Night Heat action! Goodnight fans!