The Informer - HELLO EVERYONE, AND WELCOME TO TUESDAY NIGHT HEAT: THE AFTERMATH!!!! FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER FOR THIS SHOW, WE ARE LIIIIIIVE FROM DOWNTOWN MOSCOW, FOR 2 SOLID HOURS OF IN YOUR FACE INTERVIEWS!!!

Vic Canon - That's right fans, tonight, the Aftermath GOES LIVE!!!!

[The Aftermath video package plays, and ends with a new, added shot... Chandler and Thrylla embracing in front of the burning American flag. We then go to a stage set up in downtown Moscow, with The Informer and Vic Canon behind a desk and Eddie Sensation at the opposite side of the stage. It looks almost like the Tonight Show set, with a ring to the far left, on a pedestal above a bleacher of fans... just in case...]

The Informer - Hello, wrestling fa....

Voice - Shut the fuck up.

[The familiar riffs of "Bulls on Parade" fill in the ampitheater. Without much, actually no, fanfare, the street clothed figures of Clayton Chandler and Serial Thrylla come out onto the stage from the left hand side, both holding microphones and wearing shades, as it is still broad daylight in Moscow. The Russian crowd seems to have a mixed reaction for the 2 men. This is not America, no, but, on the other hand, they have turned their backs on the fans, and the fans of the EWA are worldwide.]

Chandler - Alright guys, clear out...

Vic Canon - Hell no, this is my show!

Serial Thrylla - Your loss, buddy.

[Chandler and Thrylla grab Canon by the color and throw him off the side of the set. The Informer and Eddie Sensation both take the hint and clear out...Chandler and Thrylla assume their positions behind the desk as the music tones down, and then out...]

Serial Thrylla - Hey, hey, hey, everyone shut the fuck up.

Chandler - Russia, eh?

Serial Thrylla - Yup, Russia.

Chandler - I hate this fucking place. Can I get to my point now, and lets get the hell outta here?

Serial Thrylla - Shoot.

[Chandler gets out of his seat, pics up his mic, and addresses the crowd in attendance and the people at home...]

Chandler - Alright, here's the deal. Tonight, you get NO answers. I just got off a plane for a whole fuckin' day, so I'm burned out. Next week though, NEXT WEEK, ALL the questions shall be answered. All of 'em. Let me just get that out of the way.

Serial Thrylla - Next fucking week.

Chandler - No, tonight I'm here for something else. I'm here for something....something that's mine. Something I deserve...something...I NEVER LOST.

Chandler - Tonight I want my fucking title.

[The crowd buzzes...]

Serial Thrylla - SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Chandler - Indeed. Because you see, Sunday night, Jericho, we could have gotten that belt, had we wanted it that way. But we didn't. We don't want to win anything with the help of anyone, we wanna do it on our own. I WANNA DO IT ON MY OWN!!!

Chandler - And that's why...

Serial Thrylla - I'll handle this.

[Serial Thrylla gets out of his seat to join his partner in crime in addressing the crowd. There are no massive jeers that almost drown them out.]

Serial Thrylla - SHUT UP, you people make me physically ill. THAT IS WHY, TONIGHT, on the Aftermath, Jericho, you have a chance of ending this before it even starts. You have a shot to be the one to take down Team Ballz before it ever gets off the ground, for the second go 'round. YOU CAN BE THE HERO, but theres a catch.

Chandler - A really big fucking catch.

Serial Thrylla - Tonight, in that ring right over there, YOU, and Chandler here, ONE ON ONE, but that's not all, tell 'em.

Chandler - TONIGHT, JERICHO, IT'S GONNA BE YOUR BELT ON THE LINE AGAINST...

Chandler - MY FUCKING CAREER!!!!!

[The crowd gasps and then boo Chandler's words...]

Serial Thrylla - You all fucking heard the man, right here, all interviews card, Chandler and Jericho, for that title, and for, hell, not just his career...

Serial Thrylla - MINE TOO!!!!

[More jeers...]

Chandler - So, its all on the line, Jericho. No bullshit, no Dusty Finishes, none of that horse shit, just me in you, in that ring, to determine a champion and to determine the fucking future of this company. Get your scrawny ass out here...

Serial Thrylla - RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

[As soon as Thrylla utters those words a voice is heard from off-stage...]

Chris Jericho - WAIT JUST A MINUTE HERE!!! WELCOME FANS TO.... THIS INTERVIEW SUCKS!!!!!

[Chris Jericho appears on the other side of the stage...]

Chris Jericho - But, don't worry, ratings are about to pick up! Ladies and gentlemen... standing in the ring at a combined weight of40,000 pounds... it's none othe than Chandelier and Cereal Killa!!!!! What is it that they call you... TEAM NO-BALLZ??? Well, I enjoyed the fact that after I DEFEATED FOUR... THAT'S RIGHT 4 OF THE EWA'S FINEST... YOU GUYS DECIDE TO COME DOWN AND STEAL MY SPOTLIGHT!!! I was chatting with the producer after the show, and he told me the ratings DROPPED the second you two old timers came walking toward the ring with your cains and wheel chairs!!

Chris Jericho - If you guys combined your ages, your older than the Roman Empire! Weren't you guys in the movie Gladiator?? Oh no... you guys were REAL gladiators in the time of Caesar!!! HAHAHA!!!! If you guys EVER interfere or stick your GREAY HAIRS where they don't belong, I'll make sure that it'll be the last time Ric and Hogan--I MEAN CHANDLER AND THRYLLA EVER STEP INTO AN EWA RING! GOT IT PUNKS?? WETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, I AM YOUR F'N EWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!! And if you don't like it, I'll be more than happy to end your careers!

Chandler - So its on...

Chris Jericho - OH HELL YEAH, ITS ON!!!

[Jericho notions to the crowd once again and then exits stage right...]

Serial Thrylla - You just made the biggest mistake of your life boy...

Chandler - Jericho, comedy-boy, the joke ends tonight. You're fucking dead.

[Chandler takes Thrylla's mic and throws them both into the crowd of people. Both men exit the stage as our three hosts make their way back on...]

The Informer - OH MY GOD FANS! A MATCH, TONIGHT!!!!!

Vic Canon - AND ITS TITLE VS. CAREER...WAIT...CAREERS!!!!!

Special.... Kind of like all the guys in the EWA who you recognize, the ones who get the fruits of their labor.... Unlike me.

[The words fade into a stereotypical movie style countdown kinda like what you see right before the flick starts...]

[Beep]

[Beep]

[Beep]

[Beep]

[The screen then fades to show Ethan Tyler, decked out in jeans and a "Smokemon" shirt. He has his hands on the camera.]

Ethan Tyler - Is this thing steady? Great. It's reassuring to know at least some people in this place like me. Like the great folks in this production truck, who deserve all the applause for their hard work they do each and every week for this fine promotion. Also I salute the camera crews who bring everything the viewers at home see, and what you people see backstage. Now, with my good friend Rob waiting in the ring, Jeff, fire up that music and Rob, you know what to do.

[The video wall fades away as Tyler leaves and Rob DiMarce is grinning from ear to ear.]

Rob DiMarco - Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to Moscow, "The Underground Hero" Ethan Tyler!

["Fire up the Shoesaw" by Lionrock plays as Ethan Tyler walks out from the back and down the aisle, the Russian fans give him a mild reaction, but Ethan doesn't seem to mind because he has a huge smile on his face.]

Rob DiMarco - Ethan, welcome to the EWA, and more importantly, welcome to live television!

Ethan Tyler - Finally Robbie D, I have reached the point that each and every wrestler aspires and dreams of someday being.... EWA television. Of course, I only have about five or ten minutes at most before security ruins this party.

Rob DiMarco - Let's get right down to it Ethan. I think that one thing I want to know, is where exactly do you get your nickname from?

Ethan Tyler - After I graduated from the School of Hard Bumps, the man who guided me through the entire school managed to get me some independent jobs. Word qucikly got out about the hard work and ability I had, and soon I was out of Cleveland and wrestling all around, even back to my hometown of Portland, Or. Word got around about me, and soon I was the biggest thing in the independent or "underground" scene. People loved me for what I did and one day some kid held a sign dubbing me "The Underground Hero" since then it's stuck.

Rob DiMarco - Well Ethan, we all got a hint of what you've been doing in the EWA as of last night. First of all, what caused you to do that at this point? Weren't you worried about getting fired?

Ethan Tyler - Rob, I have nothing to lose. I was fed up of thinking that the next day I'd be asked to work a Heat or PPV. I knew that if I went out there, Tom would have to do something.... Surely he couldn't fire me, could you imagine the bad press he would have gotten? Since I made my presence known on the PPV, Tom has to do somehting now... No more dark matches here. Time for the world to see exactly why Ethan Tyler hit it so big in the independents, and it's time to really show what this man is able to do. Ladies and Gentlemen, the underground has just gone mainstream.

Rob DiMarco - I surely can't wait! I heard about the one match you had in Denver where you threw your opponent through three specially made glass tables! The EWA surely is a place where you can throw your hardcore antics around.

Ethan Tyler - Um.... Well.....

[Ethan's voice is full of discomfort as he tries to find a way to talk about this subject.]

Ethan Tyler - .... Drastic times call for drastic measures... I'm not exactly proud of what I've done, but it's gotten me through times that were tough.... But that's not the point here, what is the point is that Tom Stone has to take notice of me! I'll be looking for you Stone, and when I find you, you and me are going to have a little pow-wow buddy.

[Security starts making it's way to the ring.]

Ethan Tyler - Here comes the Goon Squad.. Obviously Stone has heard enough from me tonight. Remember Tom, you know where to find me... In the back seat of the Red '87 Jeep in the parking lot!

[Security comes into the ring as Ethan willingly goes along with them. Security grabs Ethan and escort him into the back.]

The Informer - Ladies and gentle, I understand that we are going to take you to a pre-recorded interview by the new Head of Wrestling Administration, Dave Fenichel. Take it away.

Dave Fenichel - Ladies, gentlemen, fans of the EWA. I am going to make this short and sweet. Last Sunday at Breakdown, I said that I would be announcing the brackets for the EWA World Tour Tournament tonight, and that's exactly what I'm here to do. So without further ado, here we go.

[Fenichel pulls out a piece of paper, and starts to read them off...]

Dave Fenichel - "The Hustler vs Brandon Kearse"

Dave Fenichel - "Iceberg Slim vs The Wildman"

Dave Fenichel - "Don Michaels vs War Cryme"

Dave Fenichel - "Rocky Blonde vs. Hacker"

Dave Fenichel - "Thurston Howell vs. Arthryn"

Dave Fenichel - "Brink vs. Lorenzo Hayes"

Dave Fenichel - "Zed vs. Thorn"

Dave Fenichel - "Divine vs. Nuno Nitrowalawitz"

[Fenichel puts the piece of paper away, and addresses the camera...]

Dave Fenichel - Now, the tournament will unfold as follows. The first 2 opening round matches will take place next week right here on Heat. 2 more opening round matches will take place on each of the 3 Heats after that. The quarterfinals will take place on the following Tuesday Night HEat, and the semifinals and finals will be held at our next Pay Per View extravaganza, Global Threat! This tournament promises to be spectacular, and I can guarantee that none of the EWA fans will be disappointed. Thank you for your time, and enjoy the rest of the show.

[Fenichel gets up, and walks out of the room as the screen fades to black...]

John 5 - YEEEEEEE HAAAAW! I bet all you hairy ass Russian bitches are going crazy over this American Hillybilly. Well listen dykes, MY NAME IS JOHN 5, I COME IN PEACE, DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM SAYING? Look at you people, you can't even afford a damn building for us to wrestle in, YOU POOR FUCKERS! Atleast America keeps you pussies way over here, about the only thing it's good for! HEY BITCH DON'T THROW ANYTHING ELSE INTO THIS FUCKING RING!

Gay Milk Man - HEY MOTHER FUCKER HE SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP. MOTHER FUCKING FOREIGN FUCK!

John 5 - [Digs in pocket] Now, ladies and gentlemen, THIS is a TOOTHBRUSH. I know you Russian have this thing about personal hygene.. YOU DON'T HAVE ANY! HAHA! You put a paste substance on it, and you run it across the broken yellow things in all of your mouths.

Gay Milk Man - Now sir, throwing your drink at us is just mean, you big meany!

Timmy the Handicapped Kid - TIMMAAAAAAY!!!!

John 5 - Now then, I got one of your finest men, and his name is coincedentally Billy Bob.

Billy Bob - HI ME MAW!!!!!! I'm ON DA TELEVISION MACHINE!!

John 5 - Yes you are Billy, and remember what I told you.

Billy Bob - Sure thing Mr. 5..

[Billy Bob reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tube that says "Hemroid Remover"...]

John 5 - Now then, Billy Bob is going to pull down his pants, while I turn my head, and he is going to rub ass cream all over his nasty butt. You see, It's all apart of my plan to show Arthryn he can leave a normal life having that sort of name. And even though everyone is calling you "The Ass Cream Man" RUFACE, you can still lead a normal life. So Billy Bob, if you would..

[The crowd has a sicken roar.. as the hillbilly begins to unbutton his pants.. and rubs the cream on his ass.]

John 5 - [Covering his eyes] OK, you done yet?

Billy Bob - SURE ARE DER Mr. 5!

Gay Milk Man - YOU LIKE THAT MOTHER FUCKING COCK EATERS! YEAH BITCH SWALLOW THAT SHIT MOTHER FUCKER AHAHAHAHA! DAMN RUSSIAN COCK WHORES! I WATCH RUSSIAN PORN HAHA!!

Timmy the Handicapped Kid - TIMMAAAAAY!

John 5 - Too bad Russia can never ever rule the world, 'CAUSE WE GOT THE BOMBS!! AHAHAHA!! I can talk all the shit and none of you men, excuse me, WOMEN can do ANYTHING abou it! Now, everyone sing that song "I SCREAM.. YOU SCREAM! WE ALL SCREAM FOR ASS CREAM".............

[Before John can finish what he's saying, "Hangman Jury" by Aerosmith blares over the PA systems. The fans quickly recognize the tune, as out of the curtain standing over the entranceway, Arthryn comes out. John 5 stares angrily at the entranceway, as Arthryn smiles cockily.]

Arthryn - John 5, I don't know who the hell you are, but quite honestly...the fans, the crew, the EWA, and specially me...WE JUST DONT GIVE A FUCK!

[The crowd gives up a good reaction to Arthryn's comments. He then goes on...]

Arthryn - You come into the EWA, you act all tough, but then you hang around with that Divine-wannabe, Gay Cum Man? God, you're pathetic. You might as well want to go suck on Tom Stone...doh, I think you already did. You put me through a "Sinister" time at BreakDown...and I must admit, it hurt. But one thing you don't seemingly understand is that I am the one wearing the gold. I am the one headed to the top. And you're the one who's a minute away from getting his ass handed to him in a wooden platter...because silver is too much for you. Hahahahaha!!

John 5 - Hey Ass Cream Man, your so damn great, who have you beaten? Lex Lethal the inter racial bitch? Come on, face ME! Yeah, you like that? How about next Tuesday, on Heat, FOR the Title?!

Arthryn - What in the name of hell? you mean to tell me you want your first match in the EWA to be a . . . title match? You have got to be going apeshit, HOWEVER . . . everyone knows . . . I do NOT back down, let alone if the challenge is made by a puny, pathetic, weak, stupid, little, rotten piece of rat fecal gifts...so don't sing it, bring it...and come take a zip of my executing-drink...John 69-with-gay-milk-man, you're going to be hunted...you're going to be judged, and you're going to be executed. So look no further, 'cause ass-beating is all around you.

John 5 - Ass Cream Man, I'm going to beat you worse than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.. we have ourselves a match. But don't forget, when the King of utter FUCKING Profanity slaps Sinister on you.. you will pass out in your own puddle of PISS! See you on Heat Ass Cream.

Vic Canon - There you have it! The match has been made!

Rocky Blonde - Would you like a chocalate bar?

Kid - How much?

Rocky Blonde - For you?? ....One dollar!

[Rocky Blonde reaches into his chocalate bar box relieved that somebody is finally going to buy one! He gives the kid the chocalate bar after receiving his 1 dollar bill. The kid unwraps the bar, and take a bite. He immidiatly spits it out!]

Kid - This taste like shit!

Rocky Blonde - WHAT?! I'm sorry that your opinion SUCKS, but you shouldn't use that kind of launguage! You're just a kid!

[The kid begins to walk away. Suddenly, "The Foundation" Brandon Kearse comes walking by. He is stopped by Rocky Blonde.]

Rocky Blonde - Hey would you like a chocalate bar?

Brandon Kearse - Hey would you like to go suck on some ballz?

[The kid turns around, and walks back to Rocky Blonde when he hears what The Foundation just said...]

Kid - See! That guy swore!

Rocky Blonde - Well that's because that guy's an idiot! Dont be like him!

Brandon Kearse - Well at least I don't sell chocolate bars that smell like dried up poon tang and taste like pork! All because your poor ass has no money!

Rocky Blonde - For your information, I am doing this for Tom Stone.

Brandon Kearse - Ha! Then your licking his nuts!

Kid - Yeah!

Brandon Kearse - Listen kid! Shut your face! This does not concern you.... Run along now.

Kid - I don't have to listen to you!

[The Foundation snaps! He grabs the young kid, and piledrives him onto the concrete floor!]

Brandon Kearse - HAHAHAHA! Somebody call BCW... I just whooped his ass!

Rocky Blonde - Oh my god! That was wrong!

Brandon Kearse - What you going to do about it slappy?

[Rocky Blonde spears The Foundation with force and sends him to the floor! Rocky Blonde comes at him with left and rights... The Foundation counters and pokes him in the eye. Rocky Blonde is blinded for a second, giving The Foundation time to recover. The Foundation gives Rocky Blone the BlackOut! Suddenly, The Foundation grabs the boxex of Rocky Blondes chocalate bars! He runs off with the chocolate bars, leaving Rocky Blonde out cold on the floor. The camera fades out.]

The Wildman - Well, what can I say?? Last Sunday at Break Down, I did what I said I was going to do! I walked into that Jailhouse, kicked the shit out of the Huster, and walked out! But, that wasnt all that happened in that match...

[Suddenly, someone is seen jumping the guardrail and climbing up the stairs...]

The Wildman - I received a little... well, a little help!

[Suddenly, the man attacks him! The attacker's face can't be seen. He knocks down The Wildman and begins to beat the hell out of him! The man begins taunting him, and then it can be clearly seen that the man is former aWa star, Madman! Madman grabs The Wildman's mic, and speaks...]

Madman - You got away from me in aWa Wildman, but you won't get away here! I've got you!! [Laughs hysterically] You stupid ass bastard! You ruined my last match because you were locked in the fucking jail! YOU IDIOT!! You're so extreme.... My ass you piece of shit! You are nothing.... NOTHING!!!

[Madman kicks the Wildman a few more times, then runs off through the crowd. The Wildman slowly climbs to his feet, not knowing what the hell just happened to him...]

Rachel Stevens - Welcome back to Tuedsay Night Heat: The Aftermath, LIVE in Moscow, Russia the capital city of Russia! We are currently in the Red Square of Moscow a very busy landmark here. God it's cold. I would like to introduce the newest member of EWA. He made his presence felt in his first appearance on EWA's television in the Extreme Title match against The Hustler. That man's name is Masta Red!

[The Russians begin to cheer as "Gotten" by Wild Boyz begins to blare out of the speakers that are suspended above the entrance. Masta Red comes out in a red Fubu pullover and an Atlanta Braves hat. The Russians begin to do a little cheer as Masta Red comes by and smiles and he begins to shake some of the Russians hands. One of the Russians grab Masta Red and gives him a hug. Masta Red is shocked and pushes away from the man. He just looks over at the man and slides into the ring. He goes to the middle of the ring and put his fist into the air and flames erupt from the turnbuckles. Masta Red smiles and goes over next to Rachel Stevens as the music stops.]

Rachel Stevens - Masta Red is great to see you in EWA's squared circle.

Masta Red - Well Rachel, I am happy to be here. EWA should be the stepping stone needed to propel my career.

Rachel Stevens - Masta Red, you have made your presence felt already at Break Down costing The Hustler the win over The Wildman for the Extreme Title.

Masta Red - Rachel I did what had to be done. Rachel, it is not personal between The Hustler and me. It is strictly business. I have read up on Hustler and I know what his accomplishments are.

Rachel Stevens - Yes he has the EWA Heavyweight Title and the EWA Extreme Title. Two of the top titles in this federation.

Masta Red - That is right Rachel. You might not be just another dumb blonde. Hustler has done what I want to accomplish here in EWA. He has been the Heavyweight Champion, he has been the Extreme Champion, and he has beaten this person and that person. Well it is time for Hustler to hang up the paddled leather boots and put his dirty tights in the Hall of Fame of wrestling and let to New F'N Show start his reign here.

Rachel Stevens - You say it is business. Why is that so Masta Red? I think Hustler is going to make this much more than personal you just threw him down through four stories of tables. He will not be too happy about that.

Masta Red - Rachel did you just listen to yourself?

Rachel Stevens - Why I did. Why?

Masta Red - Could you run back in your head what you said about Hustler?

Rachel Stevens - Sure he is a former Extreme Champion.

Masta Red - More important than that.

Rachel Stevens - Oh I see, he is a former Heavyweight Champion.

Masta Red - Of course Rachel. If this man had hold two of the biggest prizes in EWA during this stint here a win over this man will skyrocket my career into immediate fame and glory. Hustler is a major wrestler, I happen to be a major wrestler myself, and this match will not go without any fireworks in the ring.

Rachel Stevens - So you want Hustler to be some kinda step.

Masta Red - I think I have already told you that Rachel.

Rachel Stevens - Okay, next question. You are a former World Heavyweight Champion in the American Wrestling Association. Could you explain what was your status there?

Masta Red - aWa was a federation that I thought I could retire from the sport in. I had the perfect place here. I was at the top of my game there. I may have had two losses but I was the World Champion. There weren't many people that could match me in aWa when I was at the top of my game. There was some heat between all of us at one time. Nevertheless, it all ended. Then on the night when something speculator was suppose to happen something did. A terrorist bombed our headquarters killing all of the people they were never able to be on camera. God rest their souls. Therefore, aWa is just another federation now. Not a federation that should have been one of the greatest of all time.

Rachel Stevens - Such a sad and touching story there Masta Red.

Masta Red - I know it was such as tragedy.

Rachel Stevens - Masta Red the big question is this how did you know the entrance to the prison.

Masta Red - This goes back to my youth. When I was arrested many times for drug charges, assault and battery charges, and attempted murder. There was a time when all I knew what to do is take, or be taken. I was arrested and sent to jail for 4 years there on cocaine possession. There was this guy named Skull. Big white guy, I knew he was some kinda boss around the jail cause he always had men around him, protecting him.

Rachel Stevens - Like some bodyguards?

Masta Red - No more like male hoes. Well he came to me one day and asked me if I wanted to get out of this place for good. I was like sure. Then the rest is history. I don't need another jail term so I will end this conversation right now. It may have been 10 years since the escape happened and I might be in Moscow, but I am sure that this case is closed completely. And I don't need to go back to jail.

Rachel Stevens - Masta Red I am sure that Tom Stone will work out whatever problems you may have here in EWA. Therefore, could you please tell us this story? It is essential to how you learned how to get in and out of the prison.

Masta Red - Rachel have you ever-watched Shawshak Redemption?

Rachel Stevens - Yes I have.

Masta Red - What happen at the end of the movie?

Rachel Stevens - Well they escaped to Mexico and were never heard from again.

Masta Red - That is what I am trying to do Rachel. I am getting away from all of my grief and troubles that I have had in my life. I have turned over a new leaf and I don't plan to go back to that.

Rachel Stevens - But Masta Red you still remembered this event. You have to have some flashbacks, something that comes back into your previous criminal mind.

Masta Red - F*ck Rachel! That is the past now. I have moved on with my life. My wrestling career is going straight to the top. I only remember that damn tunnel cause I wanted a piece of The Hustler so I can get into this federation good. With a feud with a wrestler that is a top-notch wrestler. Therefore, I hope you get off my case or you will be visiting Stalin's gravesite pretty damn soon.

Rachel Stevens - Is that a threat. Masta Red, it might be cold as hell, but you aren't going to just threaten me. I have taken Judo classes before.

Masta Red - I don't give a flying care. I could snap your little neck like a twig. Don't test me Rachel. I have better things to worry about them some broad sweating my nuts.

Rachel Stevens - Whatever.

Masta Red - Yeah. Give me that microphone.

[Masta Red snatches the microphone from Rachel and he smacks his lips and crosses her arms. Masta Red looks at the camera and begins to talk.]

Masta Red - Hustler I know you can hear me from your hospital bed. It is not personal between us. I am doing this cause I know that you can help me on my way to the top. After a couple of wins over you, it will be fairly easy to go to the top. So Hustler rest up. I want you at the best physical shape you can be, but I don't think all the rest in the world would help you. I have come to EWA for two reasons: One, to wrestle to my full capabilities and two, is to take this fed by STORM! Rachel, here take this microphone. I am sure it would make a great vibrator for ya, eh?

[Masta Red throws the microphone to the ground and laughs and walks away as "Gotten" by Wild Boyz begins to play again and Masta Red begins to walk back down the aisle. That same Russian is reaching out again to hug Masta Red. Masta Red just waves at the man and Masta Red walks away the man begins to bark stuff out at him in Russian.]

Russian Man - Izvinite, ochen priyatno.

Masta Red - What?

Russian Man - Ochen priyatno.

Masta Red - Yeah, sure.

[The Russian man jumps over the chain and begins to scream at Masta Red in Russian.]

Russian Man - OCHEN PRIYATNO.

Masta Red - Look man. I don't know what you are talking about. So kindly remove yourself from my face before I ochen priyatno you.

[The Russian man smiles.]

Russian Man - Horosho drug.

Masta Red - What? You want some drugs. I don't have any drugs man.

[The Russian man turns around and yells out "Drug" and all of the Russians begin to cheer. Masta Red just shakes his head. The Russian sticks out his hand and Masta Red shake it. The man begins to shake Masta Red's hand vigorously. Masta Red snatches his hand back and smiles. He walks away as the Russian begins to start a chant of "Drug" as the scene fades out....]

["Rap Superstar" by Cypress Hill blasts the speakers as The MeXican CoNNection along with Jay and Bret Sheer slowly make it down to the ring. GiGante and Moochie both carry their titles as they enter the ring.]

El GiGante - Ah damn it feels so wonderful to be the tag champs if ya know what I'm saying esa. Those IconZ of PerfectioN were nothing.

Rob DiMarco - I might add that you did have some extra help from the Cows In Black so I wouldn't say they were nothing Mr. GiGante.

El GiGante - What did you just say chico?

Rob DiMarco - .......

El GiGante - Exactly nothing. Cause you and all these damn people know I'm right. We won those damn titles and there's nothing that you can do it about, there's nothing that the CIB can do about it, there's nothing The IconZ of PerfectioN can do about it and there's nothing you damn people can do about it!

[A large round of boo's pulsates through the arena as GiGante continues to talk...]

El GiGante - Ya know what Di-Mar-Co your worthless right now esa, so why don't you get your American @#$ outta here before I do it for ya brotha!

Rob DiMarco - Huh? What did I do?

El GiGante - You did nothing. I just don't feel like looking at ya. So get the hell outta here!

[GiGante fakes like he's gonna do something to get DiMarco running. DiMarco slowly exits the ring and leaves the arena.]

El GiGante - There thats more like it......

[Moochie snatches the mic way from GiGante and starts to speak.....]

Moochie - Hello Berlin!

[No crowd reaction. GiGante comes over and whispers something into Moochie's ear. Moochie's eyes light up and he begins to giggle.]

Moochie - My bad. HELLO MOSCOW!

[Decent pop from the crowd.]

Moochie - Now, as you see, I stand before you mengs as a champion. Dis hardcore Mexican Superstar achieved the ultimate Sunday. I.errr WE won the EWA Tag Titles. Single-handedly may I add. We did what we had to do and we came out on top the champions. We gave dem Iconz of Perfection a hell of a beating mengs! They thought they could beat us, however, they couldn't. 'Cuz Mexicanz just don't give up, esa! We do our shit and we triumph. Can I get a hell yeh?

[No crowd reaction.]

Moochie - Anyway.Like I was saying. We are the tag champs because our great abil-

Voice - MOOOOOO!

[Suddenly, the Cows in Black emerge from Backstage...]

European Cow - Hey morons, I think you owe us A LOT more recognition. According to the video tape, at the PPV WE WON YOU THE TITLES!

International Cow - That's right boyz! We won you the titles. What's fair is fair and now we DEMAND a title shot next week on Heat... MOOOO!

European Cow - Will you stop mooing!! That's bessy job...

International Cow - You guys are lucky Bessy isn't here with us tonight.... Or we'd kick your little spic asses now!!

European Cow - We're sick and tired of being called worthless country boys! Me and my cousin are sick of this... I AM EUROPEAN, AND MY COUZ IS INTERNATIONALLY KNOWN!! We DESERVE RESPECT AND....

International Cow - MOOOOOO!!!!!!!

European Cow - EXACTLY! We ain't stupid... and we demand our shot! AND YOU JUST HEARD IT STRAIGHT FROM THE COWS MOUTH!

International Cow - MOOOOOOO!!!!

European Cow - It's time for us to clean up the farm known as the EWA. It's infested with rodents and scum bags! If you want a clean farm, there's only 2 cows you need to know...

International Cow - EUROPEAN AND INTERNATIONAL COW!! WE PUT THE M-O-O IN EWA!

European Cow - Right... So Mexican Collection, if you're swimming in the pond, then let's get it on!

International Cow - MOOO!

Moochie - Eh mengs! You know.we'd give yah a shot. Really! But ah.we doubt that you two cow fuckers will make it to Heat next week alive.

El GiGante - Damn straight!

European Cow - Huh?!

[Suddenly, from behind, WaR CrYmE attacks the Cows in Black!]

The Informer - OH MY!!!! WAR CRYME JUST NAILED INTERNATIONAL COW WITH A CHAIR TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!!!! NOW HE HAS EUROPEAN COW SET UP....... GENOCIDAL TENDENCIES!!!!! HE NAILED IT!!!!! RIGHT ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR!!

Vic Canon - AND NOW WAR CRYME IS PUNCHING AND KICKING INTERNATIONAL COW!!! HE'S PISSED!!! THESE TWO COST HIM THE TITLES!!

Eddie Sensation - Where's Lorenzo Hayes?!

The Informer - He's in the hospital, after that beating from Iceberg Slim and Don Michaels... But look at The Mexican Connection! They're just standing there, watching this beating!!!

Vic Canon - WAIT A MINUTE.... FROM BEHIND, THE DARK RYDERS HAVE ATTACKED THE MEXICAN CONNECTION!!!! WE'VE GOT A FOUR WAY BRAWL GOING ON IN THE RING!!!!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT!!!! WHAM!!!!!

The Informer - OH MAN!!!!! THC JUST NAILED EL GIGANTE WITH THE "COLLEGE TOWN DRIVER"!!! GIGANTE IS OUT!!

Vic Canon - MURPHY HAS MOOCHIE SET UP!!!!! WHAM!!!!!! OH MAN!!!! "SOUTHERN STYLE DDT"!!!! THE MEXICAN CONNECTION ARE OUT COLD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING, THANKS TO THE DARK RYDERS!!!

Eddie Sensation - AND SO ARE THE COWS, THANKS TO WAR CRYME!!!

Tiki Tortez - Well, the reason is quite simple. I came here to the EWA for one reason, and one reason only. And that reason is to rid this federation of decomposing piles of garbage like himself.

Rob DiMarco - What do you mean by that?

Tiki Tortez - The fans may love Brink, but that is fine with them. I don't decide for them what goes on. But, the reason why I think Brink is a loser and deserves to be tossed aside like the rest is rather simple...I am just that much better than him.

Rob DiMarco - Is that your answer...you are just that much better than him? Is that why you attacked him from behind at the PPV?

Tiki Tortez - Of course to all of those questions. Brink believes that he is better than everyone else, he thinks that I am not worth his time. All of these accusations come from the mere fact that I have been out of e-wrestling for quite a long time...3 months to be exact. Now he thinks that I am worthless, I am a nobody, and I am not worth his time. The fact of the matter is that I am rusty, ready, and going to kick his two-bit lily ass across this damn ring.

[A large gust of wind blows by as Tiki stops talking. Rob then clears his throat and begins to speak over the loud Russian crowd.]

Rob DiMarco - Really, so what do you plan on doing when it comes to Brink? We understand your hatred for him, but what will be your actions if any?

Tiki Tortez - My actions are concealed for now. All I ask is a shot at Brink. I don't care who participates in the match with us, I just to face him. Fists to fists, he knows that I can beat him and I am willing to do that. Brink may have the seniority, but I'll be damned if I lose to an old-timer. He isn't as quick as me, and that will prove to haunt him when we step in the ring.

Rob DiMarco - Ok, and what are your future plans toward the EWA? Where do you see yourself in two months?

Tiki Tortez - My future plans involve being number 1. Right now I am just beginning, no one has seen the talent that I behold, and I am not taken seriously. But soon enough, the world will see who I really am. Ever since I was a child I always dreamed of being a star, someone who will be taken seriously and never be tossed aside. The chances are quite slim to someone else for the pain caused to me and I understand that. If they feel as though pushing me away is going to work, then they are wrong. My dreams involve me being on the top. Not only am I the icon of what a child wants to be, I am the outcome. Everyone will soon realize that I am the best ever to enter the EWA...no pun intended.

Rob DiMarco - The best? What about guys like Nomad that started this era and Regulators/BJ Boys who defined the phrase "Tag-Team Champions"? You expect to become better than them?

Tiki Tortez - Didn't you just pay attention to what I just said. Sure, they may have been here when the EWA started or even made a run that will last a life-time, but the same thing goes for each of them. They all started somewhere, and that is where I am starting. Let it be known that this is a beginning of a new era...one that will never fall apart or fade away. I am here to stay and everyone shall soon figure that out. I am Tiki Tortez and there isn't a damn thing anyone can do to stop me. Why? Because I said so!

Rob DiMarco - Wow, those are some pretty solid phrases, now I have one final question and then you can be on your way.

Tiki Tortez - Shoot...

Rob DiMarco - Ok, now you are currently 0-0, when do you plan on having your first match and against who?

Tiki Tortez - Do I look like the Commish? Do I look like the booking department? No, of course not. That means I don't decide my own matches. Whoever Stoney wants to throw me against is up to him. I am ready for anything, including Brink.

Rob DiMarco - Well, thank you for your time Mr. Tortez...it was a pleasure interviewing you. Do you have any last words for the fans here?

Tiki Tortez - Of course... " np, 6oPb6a hZ�E!!!!

[The Russian crowd cheers in amazement!]

Tiki Tortez - And for those idiots at home...that is Russian for "Hello Wrestling fans". Isn't is weird that the new icon of the EWA can speak Russian...I thought so. Tortez Out!

[Tiki and Tr� leave the ring and go shake hands with the crowd. Many fans cheer him on while others are still unaware of his attitude.]

Vic Canon - There goes Tito and Cody Covington, still celebrating with that large group of women.....

The Informer - They're getting into that limo together, it looks like Cody and Tito are quite the ladies men!! They've seemed to have formed some type of alliance. Divine must be fuming!!

Eddie Sensation - Wait a minute!! Speaking of Divine....LOOK AT THE DRIVER OF THAT LIMO!!!

The Informer - MY GOD!!! IT'S DIVINE!!!

Vic Canon - Where's he going to take them?!?

[Divine gets into the drivers seat of the limo and quickly puts on a seat belt and a mouth piece. He lays on the gas and drives directly into the arena wall at about 65 mph.]

Vic Canon - OH....... OH MY GOD.......

Eddie Sensation - I cant believe he just....Divine just....

The Informer - WE NEED TO GET AN AMBULANCE AND SOME MEDICAL OFFICIALS BACK THERE NOW!!!!!!medical officials back there NOW!!!

Vic Canon - Divine just drove that limo straight into a solid concrete wall at about 55 or 60 miles per hour...and Divine was wearing his seat belt and he still hasn't exited the vehicle, so imagine how Cody, Tito and those women are.....

The Informer - You spoke too soon Vic....the drivers door just opened and Divine stumbled out....he's got a little cut on his forehead that's about it....

Vic Canon - Divine has gone WAY TOO FAR this time!!!! That's attempted murder for Christ's sake!!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK AT HIM!! Divine is laughing about it!!

Vic Canon - Here comes Tom Stone, GeniPher, some police and some EMTs.....

Tom Stone - What did you do.... WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!?

Divine - Hee hee hee....

Tom Stone - WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO YOU ASSHOLE?!? YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY?!?!?!?!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK AT STONE!! He's attacking Divine!!

Vic Canon - We have a horrible situation here fans and we apologize for it....Tom Stone is a very emotional man who at times might seem deranged but believe me, he doesn't want to see anyone dead or seriously injured....and that might be the case here...

The Informer - Well Police have separated Divine and Stone and are taking Divine into custody.....I'm being told they want to cut away now so they can open the limo in case....in case......

Vic Canon - Yes, we get where you're coming from Informer.....we don't need to see any more of this anyway....

Nomad - HOWELL, GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!!!!!! .....NOW!!!!!!!!!

[After several seconds of waiting, "Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit suddenly blasts through the speakers. "The Psycho" Thurston Howell comes walking out from behind the curtain, with the EWA International Title around his waist. He has a mic in hand, and begins to speak...]

"The Psycho" Thurston Howell - Nomad, Nomad, Nomad!! I can see you are visibly a little bit upset to not have the International Championship around your waist. But the truth is you AREN'T the International Champion!! For one thing possession is nine-tenths of the law you know, so legally and lawfully I am the TRUE Extreme Wrestling Association International Champion!!

[Nomad continues to stare at Howell, but he now looks confused. Thurston Howell takes a few steps down the ramp, getting closer to the ring...]

"The Psycho" Thurston Howell - But if that isn't enough for you, I have another reason on why this title is mine. For the past month and a half, I haven't wrestled a show for the EWA because I got a memo from Tom Stone saying I was apparently "too psycho" to be wrestling in the EWA. So I was sent home for the time being and not able to wrestle, with the worst part being Tom Stone didn't have the balls to tell this crap to me in my face!! But, yes I was sent home after raising hell on Rocky Blonde and Nuno Nitrowalawitz, but to Stone hanging someone with a barbwire noose wasn't "psycho"... but I am!! But, hell, he is right! I am as psycho as they come, the only thing I see worse then me is Tom Stone trying to be a wrestler! It is the most pathetic and psycho thing I have ever seen!! But back to you Nomad... if Tom Stone never did what he did, which he will soon truly regret, I would have became the International Champion...damnit, Nomad, you know it..I know it...and these communists here in Russia know it!!

[The Russian fans boo Howell, as he takes a few more steps down the ramp...]

"The Psycho" Thurston Howell - And Nomad...the truth is that I am really not a nice guy at all, but just this one time, only once I will be nice. I will give you the International Championship back. You heard me, I will give you this damned championship back!

Nomad - GOOD, NOW HAND IT OVER!

"The Psycho" Thurston Howell - Oh... I forgot to mention something... the only way you are getting this belt back, is when you step in the ring with me so I can prove once and for all I am the TRUE EWA International Champion!! And I was thinking...why not at Global Threat 2000?? But then I thought, that is way too long for me to wait and kick your legendary ass!! So, me and you, next week on Tuesday Night Heat in Berlin, Germany, I will put MY title on the line...and Nomad, you better get to Berlin quick and start rebuilding the Berlin Wall because once I get in that city I will raise more hell then Hitler ever did!!

[Nomad brings the mic to his mouth. He's having trouble finding something to say. Suddenly, he just throws the mic to the mat, and slides out of ring! Thurston Howell begins to run backstage, with Nomad close behind!]

Rachel Stevens - Tom! Tom! I know you had a bad night... is there anything I can do to help?

Tom Stone - Yes... leave me alone....

Rachel Stevens - Well, I was thinking of something more like...

[Rachel whispers something into his ear...]

Tom Stone - Again? No thanks...

Rachel Stevens - WHAT?! Are you saying I wasn't good enough?

Tom Stone - No, I'm saying that I'm not "up" for it right now...

Rachel Stevens - Why?? Because of Jericho?? You pissed off at that?

Tom Stone - No...

Rachel Stevens - What do you mean NO?! You hate him! And tonight, he did the impossible!! Something you thought he couldn't have done!!!

Tom Stone - Yes, exactly Rachel... I dont hate Jericho anymore.... I have a new respect for him. Not many people can go through a Gauntlet in one night, especially against names like Fallen Angel, Divine, Cody Covington, Serial Thrylla and myself.... Jericho prooved to me that he's a deserving champion tongiht. I threw everything I had at him, and yet he still came out on top.... And to me, that shows that he's a true champion!

Rachel Stevens - Wow.. well, I dont know what you're smoking Stone, but if you change your mind, you know how to reach me....

Tom Stone - Yeah...

[Stone proceeds to walk out of the building, alone...]

Chandler - You've got one question.

Rob DiMarco - Okay, tonight man, you put your career on the line! Are you that confident that you are going to walk out of that ring tonight as the new EWA world heavyweight champion?

Chandler - DiMarco, let me ask you something. I hate you, you know that, why are you gonna ask me some FUCKED UP question like that?!?

Rob DiMarco - Its my job?

Chandler - Its your job...fuckin' cop out. The bottom line is this, tonight, I will become champion, and then me and this man right here are gonna take over the fuckin' earth. Tonight is the 2nd step, and soon, SOON ENOUGH, my friend, we will conquer the entire...fucking...world...

Serial Thrylla - Excuse us, we've got a title to win...

[The two men throw DiMarco to the ground (again) and make their way to the ring. Chandler picks up his own mic out of his Muta pants...]

Chandler - Over to you, whore.

Chris Jericho - FINALLY, I'M GOING TO DO WHAT NICK DIAMENTOS WISHES HE COULD HAVE DONE! CHANDELIER....I HOPE YOU ENJOYED RIC FLAIR'S RETIREMENT, BECAUSE YOU'RE ABOUT TO HAVE ONE!!! I BEAT FOUR OF THE FINEST ATHLETES IN ONE NIGHT, AND YOU THINK I CAN'T BEAT YOU??? A 50 YEAR OLD WANNABE SUPERSTAR?? HA!

Rachel Stevens - The other half of Team Ballz, Serial Thrylla, will be at ringside! Are you worried about outside interference?? What happens if Serial Thrylla decides to interfere?

Chris Jericho - I HAVE MANDI, AND LET ME TELL YOU... SHE'S A HANDFUL! Cereal Thrylla better keep his GREY HAIRS out of my business or Chandleier WON'T be the only one retiring tonight!

Rachel Stevens - Lets send it to ringside!

Vic Canon - Damn right, Informer! There's nothing bigger than having the EWA Heavyweight Title on your resume, or a win over Serial Thrylla or Chandler! And in this one match, all three of those things mentioned are on the line! WHAT A MATCH!

Eddie Sensation - And the only negative side to this match, is that we're in RUSSIA!! I'M FUCKING FREEZING!!

The Informer - Hahaha! The excitment from this match should heat you up Eddie!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Title vs. Career Match! If Chris Jericho wins, Serial Thrylla and Chandler will BOTH leave the EWA FOREVER! If Chandler happens to win, he will be the NEW EWA Heavyweight Champion!

["Ready or Not" by The Fugees blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by fellow Team Ballz member Serial Thrylla, standing 6' and weighing in at 240 pounds, from Shreveport, Louisiana, Chandler!

[Serial Thrylla and Chandler step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - Well, there's Chandler! And what a career he's had! He's been in the EWA since DAY ONE, and tonight, that long career may come to an end!

Vic Canon - And I think it will! Chris Jericho is one hell of a wrestler, and on Sunday at Break Down, he defeated FOUR opponents in ONE NIGHT! And if Jericho wins tonight, not only does he get rid of Chandler, but he gets rid of Serial Thrylla too!

Eddie Sensation - That's screwy! If Chandler fucks up, Thrylla is gone too! What the hell is that?!

The Informer - Well, Eddie, thats what you call trust and confidence... Serial Thrylla is confident that Chandler will defeat Jericho tonight, and win the EWA Heavyweight Title.

["Walls Of Jericho" blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... accompanied to the ring by Mandi, standing 5'11" and weighing in at 230 pounds, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, the EWA Heavyweight Champion, "The Franchise" Chris Jericho!

[Mandi and the EWA Heavyweight Champion "The Franchise" Chris Jericho step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - LISTEN TO THIS CROWD!! THEY LOVE JERICHO!!

Vic Canon - Well, when you got Chandler and Serial Thrylla in the ring, it doesnt matter who comes out!! These fans WILL cheer them! After what Chandler and Serial Thrylla said about these fans earlier tonight, they just want to see ANYONE come down and beat the hell out of these two!

Eddie Sensation - Answer me something.... If we're in Russia, then HOW THE HELL do these people understand what these guys are saying?!?! Are you telling me they ALL know english?!?!

The Informer - Eddie, shut up.... Thats an EWA rule... DO NOT point out obvious things that bring down the EWA... There's the bell! This match is underway!

Vic Canon - These two are circling the ring, and not taking their eyes off each other! They lock up! Struggle for power.... Jericho pushes Chandler into the corner! The ref is asking for a break...

Eddie Sensation - ...and Jericho with a clean break! Wow! I'd expect Jericho to take advantage right there, but he didn't!

The Informer - They lock up again! This time Chandler pushes Jericho back into the corner! The ref is asking for a clean break! OH!! Chandler with a chop to the chest of Chris Jericho! OOOH!!! Another one!

Vic Canon - Chandler throws Jericho to the ropes... Jericho ducks a back kick by Chandler! Jericho bounces off the ropes, Chandler swings for a clothesline! NO! Jericho ducks again! Chris Jericho turns around, grabs Chandler by the back of his head, and THROWS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!! Chandler went crashing into the guardrail!

The Informer - OH NO!!! LOOK OUT!!! THESE RUSSIAN FANS JUST GRABBED CHANDLER, AND PULLED HIM INTO THE CROWD!!!! THEY'RE BEATING ON CHANDLER!!!! THESE CRAZY RUSSIANS HAVE CHANDLER IN THE CROWD!!

Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!!! HERE COMES SERIAL THRYLLA WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!! WHAM!!!! WHAM!!!!!! OH MAN!!!!! THRYLLA IS ATTACKING THESE RUSSIAN FANS!!!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!!! Finally, Thrylla pulls Chandler out of the crowd!! Listen to Chandler! He's complaining that the Security sucks!

The Informer - LOOK OUT!!!!! OOOOH!!! JERICHO JUST TOOK OUT CHANDLER AND SERIAL THRYLLA WITH A BIG SPLASH!!!! JERICHO FLEW OVER THAT TOP ROPE, AND TOOK THEM BOTH OUT!!!! LISTEN TO THIS CROWD ERUPT!!!

Vic Canon - I'VE NEVER HEARD ANYTHING LIKE THIS!!!! THOUSANDS OF RUSSIANS ARE ON THEIR FEET, CHEERING FOR CHRIS JERICHO!

Eddie Sensation - YOU IDIOT!! THEY HAVE NO SEATS!!! THEY HAVE TO STAND!!!

The Informer - Hahaha!! Chandler and Thrylla are getting to their feet! OH!! Thrylla just swung the chair at the ringpost out of frustration!!

Vic Canon - Chandler crawls back into the ring... Jericho is there to quickly kick him in the head a few times! Jericho lifts him to his feet, and whips him to the ropes! No! Chandler reverses! Jericho bounces off the ropes... Chandler swings for a clothesline, Jericho ducks! Jericho bounces off the ropes again...

Eddie Sensation - WHAM!!! OH MAN!!!! DID YOU HEAR THAT??!?!

The Informer - MY GOD!! SERIAL THRYLLA NAILED CHRIS JERICHO WITH THAT STEEL CHAIR RIGHT IN THE BACK, THEN JERICHO WALKED INTO A HUGE DDT BY CHANDLER!!! JERICHO IS OUT COLD!!!

Vic Canon - And Chandler is going for the cover! WE COULD HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!!!! 1....... 2.......... OH!! Jericho kicks out at 2 and a half!

Eddie Sensation - Phew! Imagine Chandler as the EWA Heavyweight Champion!

The Informer - I dont want to even think of that Eddie! Chandler is lifting Jericho to his feet... OH!! BIG LARIAT BY CHANDLER! Ladderal press by Chandler... 1... 2... no! Jericho kicks out! And Chandler lifts him to his feet again!

Vic Canon - Chandler whips Jericho to the ropes... Jericho leap-frogs over Chandler, and bounces off the ropes again! Jericho runs in.... OOOH!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!! DID YOU SEE THE IMPACT?!?! HUUUUUUGE SPINEBUSTER BY CHANDLER!! JERICHO HAS TO BE BLEEDING INTERNALLY AFTER THAT ONE!

Eddie Sensation - OH NO!! CHANDLER IS GOING FOR THE PIN!!

The Informer - Chandler with another ladderal press!! 1..... 2.......... NO!!! JERICHO JUST GETS OUT!! HOW DOES HE DO IT?!?!

Vic Canon - It looks like Chandler is going to the top rope! Yes! Chandler is perched up on the top rope... taunting the crowd! He jumps!

Eddie Sensation - FROG SPLASH!!! LOOK OUT!!!!!

The Informer - OOOH!!! OH NO!!! JERICHO GOT HIS KNEE'S UP!!! CHANDLER TOOK JERICHO'S KNEE'S RIGHT IN THE CHEST!!! JERICHO JUST WINDED CHANDLER!!

Vic Canon - And now they're both laying out on the mat!! And Serial Thrylla is on the outside, yelling to Chandler to get up!!

Eddie Sensation - Jericho is getting up! But so is Chandler!

The Informer - They're both up, and facing each other! Chandler lunges for a Lariat! NO! Jericho ducks, Chandler turns around... Jericho with a kick to the midsection!!!!!! OOOOOOH!!!! HE NAILED HIM!!!!! DOUBLE POWERBOMB ON CHANDLER!!!! THAT'S IT!!! HE'S DONE!!!!!!

Vic Canon - BUT JERICHO CAN'T GO FOR THE COVER!!!!!! HE'S OUT ON THE MAT, NEXT TO CHANDLER!!!! THAT MOVE TOOK THE SAME EFFECT ON BOTH OF THEM!! WAIT A MINUTE... JERICHO IS GETTING UP!! BUT HE'S USING THE CORNER AND ROPES FOR HELP!

Eddie Sensation - HE'S UP!!!!! GO FOR THE PIN!!!!! COVER HIM!!!!!!

The Informer - NO! JERICHO RUNS TO THE ROPES........ ASAI MOONSAULT!!!!! ASAI MOONSAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE NAILED IT!!!!!!!!! IT'S OVER!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - JERICHO GOES FOR THE COVER..... 1........... 2.............

Eddie Sensation - NOOOO!!! SERIAL THRYLLA JUST PUT CHANDLER'S FOOT ON THE ROPES, AND BROUGHT IT TO THE ATTENTION OF THE REFEREE!! WHAT A CHEATER!!!!!!!! LISTEN TO THIS CROWD BOO SERIAL THRYLLA!!!

The Informer - AND LOOK AT JERICHO!!!!! HE'S PISSED!!!!! WAIT A MINUTE, JERICHO IS UP TO SOMETHING! HE'S PULLING CHANDLER INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!!! HE'S GOING TO TRY IT AGAIN!!!!

Vic Canon - JERICHO RUNS TO THE ROPES............ HE NAILED IT!!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! CHANDLER MOVED!!!!! CHANDLER MOVED!!!!! CHANDLER MOVED AT THE LAST SECOND!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - AND NOW THEY'RE BOTH DOWN, AGAIN!!!! LISTEN TO THE BUZZ IN THIS CROWD!!!! THEY'RE LOVING THE EWA, LIVE!

The Informer - MY GOD!! What a match so far! These two are showing that they BOTH want this win! Typical EWA wrestling!

Vic Canon - Exactly Informer! Nobody does it better!

Eddie Sensation - Look! They're both getting up again!

The Informer - Chandler and Jericho are both up! Jericho stumbles over to Chandler, and whips him to the ropes! Chandler bounces back... Jericho swings for a clothesline! NO!! NO!!! -HIROSHIMA-!!!!! -HIROSHIMA-!!!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - CHANDLER HAS -HIROSHIMA- LOCKED ON!!!!! OH NO!!! BOTH THESE MEN JUST WENT TUMBLING OVER THE TOP ROPE, AND ONTO THE OUTSIDE!!!

Eddie Sensation - Smart move by Jericho! He just lunged himself over the top rope, and broke the hold! That was probably the only way he could have broken in!!

The Informer - And that's why he's the EWA Heavyweight Champion! Hey, check out Serial Thrylla! He's helping Chandler get back into the ring!

Vic Canon - And Chandler is in! Now Serial Thrylla is grabbing Jericho! UH OH!! Look for a cheap shot here!

Eddie Sensation - Umm, no! Thrylla just threw Jericho back into the ring! I guess he realizes that the only way to win the title, is to make Jericho submit or to pin him! And you know how bad they want that title!

The Informer - Chandler is standing, but leaned in the corner! He barly has enough energy to stand!

Vic Canon - And Jericho is on his feet! LOOK OUT! Chandler lunges with a lariat! NO!! JERICHO DUCKS, AND TRIPS CHANDLER!!! JERICHO APPLIES THE WALLS OF JERICHO!! WALLS OF JERICHO!!!!!! HE HAS IT LOCKED ON!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - YES!!!!! BREAK HIS BACK!!!!! BREAK IT!!!!!!

The Informer - CHANDLER'S CAREER IS OVER IF HE TAPS OUT!!!!! AND SO IS SERIAL THRYLLA!!!! LISTEN TO THRYLLA YELL AND SCREAM AT CHANDLER!!! CHANDLER IS TRYING TO HOLD ON!!!!

Vic Canon - CHANDLER IS TRYING TO GRAB THOSE ROPES!!!!! HE'S INCHING CLOSER AND CLOSER!!!

Eddie Sensation - BUT HE'S STILL A GOOD 4 OR 5 FEET AWAY!!!! JERICHO IS APPLYING MORE PRESSURE!!!! HE'LL BREAK HIS BACK IF HE DOESN'T SUBMIT!!!!

The Informer - CHANDLER'S ALMOST THERE!!!! HE'S ONLY ONE ARM LENGTH AWAY NOW!!!!!

Vic Canon - .....AND HE'S GOT THE ROPES!!! THE REF IS TELLING JERICHO TO LET GO!!! AND JERICHO RELEASES THE HOLD!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - God damn! This man is driven by his hatred for this country!

The Informer - Look at Jericho! He's in shock!! He had the Walls of Jericho locked on, but Chandler managed to get to the ropes!!

Vic Canon - And now Jericho is pulling Chandler back into the middle of the ring! He's signalling for another Asai Moonsault!

Eddie Sensation - Here he goes!!!!

The Informer - Jericho runs to the ropes... OH!!! OH NO!!! SERIAL THRYLLA JUST NAILED CHRIS JERICHO WITH A SAVAT KICK, JUST AS JERICHO JUMPED ON THE ROPES!!

Vic Canon - DID YOU SEE JERICHO'S BODY SNAP BACK?!?! THAT KICK MIGHT HAVE PARALIZED HIM!!!

Eddie Sensation - And now they're both out... AGAIN!

The Informer - My god! What a match!! What a night! And it's STILL not over!

Vic Canon - These two aren't going to give up until one of them gets killed, literally!

Eddie Sensation - Uh oh! Now the ref is counting them both out! He's at 3 already!!!!!

The Informer - Well, if they both got counted out, I guess Thrylla and Chandler are still in the EWA, and Jericho is still the Heavyweight Champion!

Vic Canon - I guess so! The ref is at 6, and now they're both starting to move!!! 7!!! Jericho is on one knee, and Chandler is trying to get to his feet!

Eddie Sensation - EIGHT! And they're ALMOST up!

The Informer - NINE.... LOOK OUT!! CHANDLER SWINGS WITH A LARIAT! But Jericho ducks, and goes for the trip again! NO! Chandler jumps over his leg!

Vic Canon - Chandler kicks him in the gut...... OH NO!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!! THAT'S IT, IT'S OVER!!!!!! BIG TIMER!!!! CHANDLER NAILED JERICHO WITH THE BIG TIMER!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - OH NO!!! THAT'S THE MOVE THAT PUT NICK DIAMANTE OUT OF WRESTLING!!!!!

The Informer - AND IT MIGHT BE THE MOVE THAT ENDS CHRIS JERICHO'S TITLE REIGN!!!!! JERICHO IS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING, AND CHANDLER HAS A HUGE SMILE ON HIS FACE!!!! CHANDLER KNOWS IT'S OVER!!!!! AND NOW HE'S GOING FOR THE COVER!!!! OH MY..... WHAT DISRESPECT!!!! CHANDLER HAS ONE FOOT ON JERICHO'S CHEST, AND HIS ARMS HELD ABOVE HIS HEAD!!!! WHAT A COCKY SON OF A---

Vic Canon - EASY INFORMER!!!!!!! THE REF IS IN POSITION!!!!! 1............. 2................. OOOOOH!! OH MY GOD!!!!! JERICHO KICKED OUT!!!!!!! THAT HAD TO BE 2 AND NINE TENTHS!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - OH MY GOD!!!!!!! JERICHO KICKED OUT OF THE BIG TIMER AT 2 AND NINE TENTHS!!!!!

The Informer - LOOK AT CHANDLER!!!!!!! HE'S IN SHOCK!!!!!! AND SO ARE THESE FANS!!!!!! THEY'VE EXPLODED, AND STARTED TO CHANT "JERICHO... JERICHO... JERICHO"!!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - SERIAL THRYLLA AND CHANDLER ARE BOTH STUNNED!!!!!! THEY CAN'T BELEIVE JERICHO KICKED OUT OF THE BIG TIMER!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - CHANDLER IS PISSED!!!! LOOK AT HIM!!!! HE'S ALL RED!!!

The Informer - CHANDLER IS LIFTING JERICHO TO HIS FEET.... NOW WHAT?!?! NO!!! DONT DO IT!!!!!!

Vic Canon - WHAM!!!!!!!!!!!! ANOTHER BIG TIMER!!!!!!! JERICHO HAS TO BE OUT FOR SURE!!!!!!!! CHANDLER GOES FOR THE COVER, AND HOOKS THE LEG!!! THE REF COUNTS....

Eddie Sensation - ONE.............. TWO.......... THREE!!!!!!!! OH NO!!!!!!!!! WE HAVE A NEW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!

Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and NEW EWA Heavyweight Champion, Chandler!

The Informer - OH MY.... MY..... MY GOD..... CHANDLER IS THE NEW EWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION..... NO!!!!!!! THIS CAN'T BE!!!!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS FOR THE EWA?!?!?!

Vic Canon - IT'S BAD NEWS!!!! AND NOW LOOK! SERIAL THRYLLA IS ENTERING THE RING WITH THE EWA HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE, AND HE'S PLACING IT AROUND CHANDLER'S WAIST!!!!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK AT THIS DISRESPECT!!!!! THEY'RE STANDING OVER THE BODY OF CHRIS JERICHO, TAUNTING THE CROWD!!!

The Informer - LOOK AT THIS!!!!! ALL THESE RUSSIAN FANS HAVE FILLED THE RING WITH GARBAGE!!!! THEY HATE CHANDLER!!

Vic Canon - BUT YOU'VE GOT TO ADMIT, HE PUT UP AN AMAZING FIGHT!!!

Eddie Sensation - AND SO DID JERICHO!! HE KICKED OUT OF THE BIG TIMER!!!!

The Informer - I'LL ADMIT, THIS MATCH HAS TO BE ONE OF THE GREATEST IN EWA HISTORY... BUT CHANDLER IS THE EWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION....... CHANDLER!!!!!! FUCKING CHANDLER!!!!!!

Vic Canon - YES, INFORMER!! WE UNDERSTAND!

The Informer - I CAN'T BELEIVE THIS SHIT!!!!! FANS, WE'RE OUT OF TIME..... THANKS FOR JOINING US....... CHANDLER IS THE NEW EWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION..... WELCOME TO HELL!!!!