The Informer - WELCOME FANS, TO TUESDAY NIGHT HEAT!!! And boy oh boy, did you pick a good week to tune in!

Vic Canon - Thats right, Informer! Although we have only 6 matches tonight, they all add up to produce a GREAT CARD!! For example, Chris Jericho and Fallen Angel will be teaming up to take on The Brink and Thorn in Tag Team Action!

Eddie Sensation - What about that Tag Team Title Turmoil Match?? WHO WILL BE THE MYSTERY TAG TEAM?!?!

The Informer - Great question Eddie!! We're going to have to wait to find out! Also on the card, is an EWA International Title Match between Nomad and Brandon Kearse!

Vic Canon - With Nuno Nitrowalawitz in the building, we could possibly see a new International Champ get crowned!

Eddie Sensation - I doubt it.... But, what I DON'T doubt, is that the Posse and the Paparazzi are going to BRAWL, BRAWL, BRAWL tonight!

The Informer - Yup! That's first on the card... Other matches include:

Vic Canon - The Hustler versus The Wildman....

Eddie Sensation - Arthryn versus Lex Lethal in a North American Title Match....

The Informer - An "American Pride" Open Challenge....

Vic Canon - And a Tom Stone Interview! And that's first, so lets get to it!!

Eddie Sensation - YES!! TOM STONE!!!! MY HERO!!!!!

The Informer - Hahaha... Fans, sit back, and enjoy the show!

The Informer - Stone looks calm, for once! As I said yesterday, Stone will be announcing a few matches for the Pay Per View!

Vic Canon - Great! What a way to kick off Heat!

Tom Stone - It's LIVE on Sunday June 18th, from the Gaylord Entertainment Center in Nashville, Tennessee!

[The crowd begins to laugh. Stone looks at the crowd in disgust, as to tell them to shut up...]

Tom Stone - It's only 6 days away! BREAK DOWN!!!! And on this card, we have a GRAND TOTAL of TWO MATCHES........ so far. And that's why I'm out here tonight. My employee's come out here week after week, and work their asses off for you fans! They sometimes risk their lives, and get badly hurt because of it. But why do they do it? Because of you! The fans! But, recently, all the EWA superstars have been a little... well.... Slow. They've been so DEDICATED to coming out here week after week to entertain you fans, that they've lost track of time! Like I said a few moments ago, Break Down is only 6 Days away! And in a few seconds, I will be announcing some more matches to the card.

Tom Stone - First of all, lets start with the MAIN EVENT.... We have Chris Jericho....

[Huge pop from the crowd!]

Tom Stone - ....taking on Fallen Angel, in an EWA Heavyweight Title Match! But thats not all! This match is also a Gauntlet Match! Meaning, Chris Jericho will be fighting a succession of superstars all IN A ROW, and all IN ONE NIGHT! But, there are many questions left unanswered.... How many opponents will he have? Who will they be? Who will choose them? How far will Jericho get in the Gauntlet before losing the Title? Those are all valid questions, and I will try to answer them all. In this particular Gauntlet Match, Chris Jericho will be taking on FIVE opponents!

The Informer - WHAT?!?! FIVE?!?!

Vic Canon - ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!?!

Tom Stone - Fallen Angel is one of these opponents... As for the other four, well... they'll ALL be left un-named!! Jericho will find out who his opponents are on June 18h, as they come down that ramp, and enter this ring!

The Informer - OH MY GOD!!!! THAT'S INSANE!!!!!

Vic Canon - STONE, YOU'RE CRAZY!!!!!!!

[Tom Stone looks over at Vic Canon... He heard his remark..]

Tom Stone - What, Vic?? I'm crazy??

Eddie Sensation - UH OH!!!! HE HEARD IT!!!!!! REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST WEEK, VIC!!!! ....Here, let me refresh your memory!!!! YOU'RE FIRED!!!! AHHAHAHAH!!!

Vic Canon - Yes, Stone, you're CRAZY! You are screwing Jericho out of his title, and it's UNFAIR!

Tom Stone - Well, Vic... You know what??

Vic Canon - What?

Eddie Sensation - YOU'RE FIRED!!!! AHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - SHUT UP EDDIE!

Tom Stone - You're right! I am being un-fair! And I just realized it! So, to be fair... I'll let Jericho know ONE MORE of his opponents!

The Informer - OH COME ON!!!! AS IF THAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE!!!!

Tom Stone - Chris, tonight, you'll find out who your SECOND opponent will be! Now THAT'S fair!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAH!!! HOW CAN'T YOU LOVE THIS GUY?!?!

[Stone puts a large checkmark on the paper...]

Tom Stone - Now, onto our second scheduled match for Break Down! We have a normal, Extreme Title Match, between The Hustler and The Wildman! ...When I look at that, I realize something is missing! And when I realize something is missing, I get an idea!

The Informer - Oh great.... Lets hear this one!

Tom Stone - Hustler.... Wildman..... Last week, you were thrown into prison. And being the GREAT boss that I am, I bailed you BOTH out!

Eddie Sensation - Awww, what a nice guy!

Tom Stone - Then, you re-paided me by getting your asses BOTH throw into jail AGAIN!

Eddie Sensation - THAT SICKENS ME!!! WHAT DISRESPECT!

Vic Canon - WILL YOU SHUT UP?!?!

Tom Stone - Wildman... Hustler..... You like being in Jail??? You like it THAT much, that you want to be in it TWICE?? Well, if that's what you like, I'll give it to you again! JUNE 18TH, AT BREAK DOWN, YOU TWO WILL BE HAVING AN EXTREME TITLE JAILHOUSE MATCH!!!!!!

The Informer - WOW!!!! WHAT A STIPULATION!!!!

Eddie Sensation - YEP!! STONE IS A GENIUS!

Tom Stone - You two will be fighting IN A JAIL, and the winner will be the first person who can pin or make the other submit! Extreme Rules apply..... Have fun! .....Oh, and by the way.... You know that match you guys have tonight?? Well, I've just added stipulations to that match too! The winner of that match will enter the Jailhouse 24 hours before the match! He can prepare, he can set up stuff, he can get to know the place better... Hell, he could sit there and wha--.. well, I wont say it! Point being, you can do WHATEVER you wish for the 24 hours before the match in the Jailhouse!

The Informer - OH MAN!! Whoever wins tonight is going to have a BIG advantange!

Vic Canon - Yup!! Imagine how hard it would be to find him if he knew all the shortcuts and secret places!

[Stone puts another large checkmark on the paper...]

Tom Stone - Next up, is HACKER!

The Informer - UH OH!!

Tom Stone - Now, I'm not going to sit here and threaten you, or try to scare you... All I'm going to do is announce the match for the Pay Per View, and it's stipulations. That should be enough to make you shit your pants!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAAHHA!!!

Tom Stone - So, here it is Hacker.... This Sunday, me and you... One on One.... In this ring.... IN A CANADIAN RAGE IN A CAGE MATCH!!!!

Vic Canon - A WHAT?!

The Informer - I'm not sure Vic, but it doesn't sound to healthy!

Tom Stone - Hacker, I've had enough of your shit... enough of your games.... And this Sunday, I'll show you the TRUE MEANING of Canadian Rage! But, you'll have no place to run... seeing as how we'll be fighting in a Cage!

The Informer - WOW! That's going to be GREAT! Stone and Hacker, One on One, CAGE MATCH!

Eddie Sensation - That's CANADIAN RAGE IN A CAGE MATCH to you buddy!

The Informer - Right.....

[Stone puts another large checkmark on the paper...]

Tom Stone - Next on my list are Thorn and The Brink... You two have a heated rivalry going, with many backstabbings and cheapshots going on... You've ruined my rings, and nearly killed each other. This Sunday, it all ends. At Break Down, you two will step into the ring against each other for the FINAL TIME! This match will determine who the BEST MAN IS.... And how do determine that?? SIMPLE. BEST OF 5 FALLS MATCH!! ENJOY, BOYS!

[Stone puts another large checkmark on the paper...]

The Informer - BEST OF FIVE FALLS?!?! HOLY SHIT!!!!

Vic Canon - This card is getting better by the second!!!

Eddie Sensation - SHHH!! HE'S NOT DONE YET!!!!

Tom Stone - Now, for the final two matches... There will be an EWA Tag Team Title Match, between The Iconz of Perfection and the Mexican Connection... AND... An EWA North American Title Triangle Match between Arthryn, Lex Lethal and Brandon Kearse! Thank you for your time! Enjoy the remainder of the evening, and be sure to watch BREAK DOWN LIVE on June 18th! [The EWA Theme blasts through the speakers as Tom Stone begins to exit the ring, and walk up the entrance aisle into the backstage area.]

The Informer - Well there you have it! We now have SIX scheduled matches, and a FULL episode of Tuesday Night Heat to go through!

Vic Canon - Wow! I haven't seen Stone do something like this in MONTHS!

Eddie Sensation - AND I LIKE IT!!! Stone should do this EVERY WEEK!

The Informer - Why, so you can see more people get screwed every night?? You're pathetic Eddie... Lets send it backstage....

Nuno Nitrowalawitz - Hey! Why'd you stop?!

Nomad - AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

[Nomad charges at Nuno, and shatters the bottle over his head! Nuno is cut open instantly! He falls to the ground, and Nomad quickly jumps on top of him. Nomad begins giving him lefts and rights to the face, and slams his head against the floor multipul times. Suddenly, all the women in the store attack Nomad! They begin to slap and kick him, and yell and scream! Nomad quickly gets off of Nuno, and storms out of the Hair Salon! The women all crowd around Nuno, and attempt to help him. The screen fades to black...]

Tito - This sucks Mistress Divine! We could be out trying to end Cody Covington's career but instead we have to wash this pig fucker Tom Stone's car! I HATE THIS! I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT!!!

[ Divine smacks Tito across the face with a wet towel. The loud smack sends Tito flying. As he gets up his little shorts fall backwards and you can see he has an erection. The scene is obviously mosiaced for the viewers at home but you can hear the camera man gasp with disgust at the site.]

Divine - Dont ever talk about my boss....OUR boss like that again you ungrateful little sass-mouth!!

Tito - But...

Divine - BUT NOTHING!! Tom Stone brought us back to the EWA after he fired us and vowed never to let us step foot in the EWA again! He gave us a second chance....I'm not going to let him down....

Tito - But he fired us Mistress! That is more of a reason to get him back! Remember the old days when we used to try to rape him? Ahh...to taste Tom Stone's cherry....

Divine - Stop it Tito!! You're....you're....making me horny!!

Tito - Yes...I know you like it....Tom Stone...those expensive three peice suits...remember when we used to talk about how quick we could rip it off?

Divine - Oh God...it's all coming back to me now....Tommy Stones.....I WANT HIM!!

[ Tom Stone walks up behind Divine and Tito and starts to scream after he listens to their conversation for a few minutes.]

Tom Stone - WHAT WAS THAT?!?

Divine - EGADS! IT'S THE BOSS! BACK TO WORK!

Tom Stone - Yeah, that's right....I want every ounce of that foul stench gone from my car! If I find one....JUST ONE piss stain anywhere in my car, BOTH of your asses are outta here!

Tito - Asshole....

Tom Stone - What was that? I dont like you, I'm not going to hide that you little spic....I never did like you....you guys are both on thin ice! I didnt have to let you back but I did...and how do you pay me back? You rape children on my television show, you shock the nipples of a former EWA Champion, and worst of all....good God....you...you desecrated my car!!

Divine - I'm sorry Tommy!! How were we supposed to know!! We thought it was Cody's!!

Tom Stone - AND THAT WOULD'VE MADE IT RIGHT?!? YOU JUST DONT DUMP GALLONS OF PISS IN ANOTHER MAN'S CAR!!! IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT!!!

Divine - We were going to use semen but we couldnt take out that large of a donation.....

Tom Stone - Jesus Christ!! Is there no end to it?? Swing the car over this way so that delivery truck can pull into the arena....and I swear to God if you scratch my car....wait, forget that. Any kind of threat of bodily harm might turn you on and that's the last thing I need!!

[ Divine pulls the car to the left of the parking lot. After Divine and Tito start to wash the car again Tom Stone smells the inside.]

Tom Stone - Wait a minute....WHAT THE HELL??? MY CAR SMELLS LIKE FRUIT CAKES!!!!

Divine - It's passion fruit!

Tom Stone - TOM STONE DOESNT SMELL LIKE PASSION FRUIT!!!

Divine - I can only imagine what you smell like Tom....

[ As Tom Stone clenches his fists he looks at the drivers seat where Divine was just sitting and notices a long skid mark on the seat. Stone's mouth opens as he his angered beyond speech. He points at the skid as a high pitched scream begins to erupt from deep within his throat.]

Tom Stone - GET THAT SHIT OFF MY FUCKING SEAT YOU ASSHOLES!!!!!!!!!

Divine - DAMMIT!! I knew I forgot something!!

Tito - You forgot to whipe?!?

Divine - What can I say.....I was in a hurry!! We need some more sponges Tito....go fetch me some!!

Tito - Yes Mistress!!

[ Tito skips into the arena as Tom Stone orders Divine around some more. Tito turns the corner and walks into the janitors room. He looks around for some sponges then suddenly gets swept up into the air. Tito screams as he realizes he's caught in a large net! Ronny Garbage and Mikey Basulto pop out from around the corner and begin to laugh.]

Ronny Garbage - Got ya know you wet back!!

Mikey Basulto - HEY!!

Ronny Garbage - Sorry Mikey....let's get this peice of shit to Cody...on the double!!

Mikey Basulto - Wait a minute...I want to have some fun with this little bastard....

[ Mikey Basulto grabs a mop and begins to poke Tito with it. Change, condoms, and a bus pass all fall out of Tito's pockets as well as a few feminine hygiene products. Basulto and Garbage then carefully take the net down and drag Tito away. Tito emits a high pitched, woman like scream and Divine senses it. Garbage and Basulto begin to tie the net holding Tito to the bumper of their beat up car..... Garbage goes into the car but Basulto stays back....]

Mikey Basulto - This isn't right! Just look at him! He looks like a defensless animal.....

Ronny Garbage - C'MON MIKEY! WE HAVE ORDERS!!

[ Mike sticks his tounge out and then frees Tito from the bag, as Tito tries to scurry away The Big Gay grabs his hair and the trunk of the car pops open.... inside the trunk is a Rocking Horse! Mike trys to set the little mex on the horse but he is just struggling too much, Mike gets frustrated and pushes him to the ground.....]

Mikey Basulto - [Yelling] RONNY! BACK THE CAR UP A LITTLE!

[ The car backs over Tito's foot, his eyes roll in the back of his head but when he goes to scream Mike covers his mouth, he finally sets Tito on top of the horse and handcuts his arms to the bottom of the horse and then attaches the rocking horse to the bumper of the car.....]

Ronny Garbage - What is the point of that??

Mikey Basulto - Tito must be his own person, he must shine on his own! Do you realize how many times Divine must've rode Tito around like this, now its his turn ... lets go....

Tito - EEEEEK!!!! MISTRESS DIVINE!!!!!

Divine - TITO!!!!!!!

[ As Divine turns the bend Tito can be seen being dragged away by Basulto and Garbage's car. Divine runs by cant keep up with the car. He throws the sponge then hangs his head in agony as his sex slave has been kidnapped by Cody's bitches.]

Divine - Tito....I will find you!!!

[ Tom Stone suddenly grabs Divine by the hair and drags him back to the his car.]

Tom Stone - Not so fast girlfriend!! You finish the job first or get in the unemployment line!!!

"Uncle" Paulie - Fear of yo' life? You ain't got nothin' to worry 'bout Ms. Stevens. The ones that got to worry is those CLONES, THE PAPARAZZI!

"Fat" Tony - Duhh, that's right! They CLONES!

Mustafa El-Ahmed - Hell yeah, man! Ya fools think you can bite our style and get away wit' it? It's an embarrassment, man! Each and every week ya fools jump us from behind and make US look bad in front of our boss, Slim! NOW WE MAKE YOU LOOK BAD!

"Fat" Tony - Uhh, yeah! NOW WE MAKE YOU LOOK BAD! Nobody makes us look bad in front of the boss!

Charlie Black - Tony......

"Fat" Tony - Duuh, yeah?

Charlie Black - SHUT UP!

Rachel Stevens - Speaking of "your Boss," Iceberg Slim...where is he? He hasn't been seen since last week's melee. Is he even IN the arena?

Charlie Black - Slim? Well, uh...

"Uncle" Paulie - ...........

Mustafa El-Ahmed - Well, Slim is, uhh...Slim is...uh.away! Yes, Slim is away!

Charlie Black - Yeah! He's away on business, yeah...that's it! Let's be out, fellas!

Rachel Stevens - Hmmm, that rather strange. Lets send it over to Rob DiMarco...

Don Michaels - DiMarco, how's my favorite EWA personality?

Rob DiMarco - Hey, I've heard rumors that Iceberg Slim will be at ringside tonight! Were you aware of this??

Don Michaels - I don't think we'll see Slim tonight. In fact I don't think we'll ever see Slim again after his "ride" last week. Now that I've run him out of the EWA, all that remains to be done is to get rid of his lackeys, The Posse; and my boys The Paparazzi will do just that.

Rob DiMarco - Anyway, Paparazzi... Last week you brought The Posse to their knees! Is tonight going to be a repeat of last week?

Don Michaels - No, you can't speak to them DiMarco. They're not here to answer your questions. They're here to do my bidding. If you have anything to discuss, discuss it with me.

Rob DiMarco - Right... Well, have the Paparazzi had experience in the ring?? Or have they just been following you around for your entire career?

Don Michaels - Well, my Paparazzi are more than just suits and camera's. They're a highly skilled team. Every member knows his job, every member knows just what to do and when to do it. The Posse, they're nothing more than a group of misfits. They're lackeys, while the Paparazzi are Henchman. And they'll prove this to everyone in a very short, very violent, and very entertaining match, in just a few short minutes. So hit the road DiMarco, we've got to finish preparing. Oh and DiMarco don't forget 7/4 is TC4!

Rob DiMarco - Right.... Back to you guys at ringside!

Vic Canon - Why?

Eddie Sensation - Yeah, why? Are you racist or something??

The Informer - No, Eddie.... The Paparazzi dont have names.... We're going to have to refer to them as #1, #2, #3 and #4!

Vic Canon - Oh great!

The Informer - Yeah, exactly!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is an 8-Man Tag Team Match! Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by "The $uperstar" Don Michaels, The Paparazzi!

["My Way" by Frank Sinatra blasts through the speakers, as "The $uperstar" Don Michaels and The Paparazzi step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - Something tells me Don Michaels is going to get involved in this match!

Vic Canon - NAW, YOU DON'T SAY?!?!

Eddie Sensation - Something tells me that was sarcastic....

Chris Myers - And their opponents... "Uncle" Paulie, "Fat" Tony, Mustafa El-Ahmed and Charlie Black... The Posse!

["Glaciers of Ice" by Raekwon blasts through the speakers, as The Posse step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - And here come the Posse, WITHOUT Iceberg Slim! I think they're going to pay for that one in the end!

Vic Canon - It's a 5 on 4! And Don Michaels is a professional! They aren't!

Eddie Sensation - Are you saying they have no skill??

Vic Canon - Yeah, pretty much!

The Informer - Hahaha!! LOOK OUT!! This one is turning into a big brawl! All 8 men are brawling on the outside! And Don Michaels is inside the ring!

Eddie Sensation - OH!! One of the Paparazzi just threw "Uncle" Paulie into the steel steps!

The Informer - LOOK OUT!!! OH!!!! Mustafa El-Ahmed just got back body dropped INTO the crowd!!

Vic Canon - Hey.. wait a minute... One of the Paparazzi just threw "Fat" Tony in the ring! LOOK OUT!!!!! OOOH!!! THE AUTOGRAPH!!!!! DON MICHAELS NAILED IT!!!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT?! I DIDN'T SEE IT!

The Informer - AND HERE COMES A PAPARAZZI MEMBER TO GET THE PIN!!! THE REF DIDN'T SEE DON MICHAELS NAIL "FAT" TONY WITH THE AUTOGRAPH!!!!!

Vic Canon - 1..... 2....... 3!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - YES!!! PAPARAZZI BABY!!

Chris Myers - And the winners of this match... The Paparazzi!

The Informer - But they aren't done yet!! The Paparazzi are still beating on The Posse!

Vic Canon - See! We were right! Don Michaels was the main factor of this match, and Iceberg Slim wasn't here to prevent that!

[Suddenly, "Glaciers of Ice" by Raekwon blasts through the speakers, and Iceberg Slim walks out from behind the curtain. He stands on the top of the ramp with mic in hand...]

Eddie Sensation - There's Iceberg Slim!

Iceberg Slim - So, so, so....when the big CAT leaves, the lil' MICE come out and play, huh? I take a few days off and all of a sudden The Posse is on TV opening up EWA wrestling cards! Seems like Tom Stone'll pimp his own MOMS to fill a card up, na'mean!?

The Informer - Hey! LOOK!! Don Michaels is ordering the Paparazzi to attack Iceberg Slim! But none of them look like they want to be the first! There just standing around!

Vic Canon - It seems like Slim is waiting for them to decide who's gonna be the first!! He's running at full speed towards the ring!!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT!!

The Informer - One of the Paparazzi is there waiting for him at the bottom of the ramp! Iceber grabs him.... OH!!!! SIDEWALK SLAM ON THE CONCRETE!!

Vic Canon - HEADS UP!!!!!! 2 more Paparazzi are charging at Iceberg Slim!! ....OOOOOOHH MY!!!!!! A BIG DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE TAKES DOWN BOTH PAPARAZZI MEMBERS!!

Eddie Sensation - AHHHH!!! AND NOW SLIM HAS THE LAST PAPARAZZI MEMBER BY THE HAIR!!

Vic Canon - What is he doing? OH NO!! He's setting him up! HE'S SETTING HIM UP FOR... FOR....

The Informer - WHAM!!!!!! OH MAN!!!! That's Iceberg Slim's famous Ax Kick! He almost took off his head with that kick!!!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT!! The first Paparazzi dude is back on his feet!

The Informer - Iceberg is in the ring!! And he's staring at Michaels!! Wait a minute.... That Paparazzi guy just slid into the ring, and stood infront of Michales!

Vic Canon - OH NO!!! Michaels just PUSHED the Paparazzi Member into Slim!!! OH NO! Slim's got him! He has his arms hooked!

Eddie Sensation - OH NO!!! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!!!!

The Informer - ........THE CHILL FACTOR! SLIM JUST NAILED HIM WITH THE CHILL FACTOR!

Vic Canon - And now it's just Iceberg and Michaels!! They're face to face!! The Posse and The Paparazzi are both out cold!

Eddie Sensation - Wait a minute... Slim is asking for a mic!!

Iceberg Slim - 'Nuff wit' this bulls#!t, Don. No more solid gold chairs, no more Triangle matches, no more sneak atacks, no more Posse/ Paparazzi gimmick matches! You know what I'm saying? We are gonna settle, ONCE AND FOR ALL!

The Informer - That sounds good to me!!

Iceberg Slim - That's right, Don! A "Once And For All Match"...SUNDAY at Breakdown! This beef is gonna be settled IN THE RING!

Don Michaels - BREAKDOWN? HA! That's the perfect name for what I'm going to do to you on Sunday!

Iceberg Slim - You a real funny guy, Don. Let's see how funny you are when I tell you that the special ref for this match is...

Vic Canon - Huh?? Special referee??

Iceberg Slim - the TRUE KING of Giltz of Glamor! LORENZO HAYES!!!!!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'!?!?!?!

Don Michaels - WHAT!?!

Eddie Sensation - OH NO!!!! DON MICHAELS HATES LORENZO HAYES!!!! THIS ISN'T GOOD!!!!!

The Informer - LOOK OUT!!!! THEY'RE NOT WAITING FOR BREAK DOWN!!! THEY'RE GOING AT IT RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!!!!

Vic Canon - LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT!!!

Eddie Sensation - And here come a load of EWA officials! They're trying to break this up!!

The Informer - And so far, so good! They've seperated Don Michaels and Iceberg Slim! Fans, we've got to take a short break! We'll be right back!

The Informer - Welcome back to Heat fans, and the match was just made for Break Down! Iceberg Slim will take on Don Michaels this Sunday, and Lorenzo Hayes will be the referee! That shoud be a great one!

Vic Canon - What the hell?

Eddie Sensation - DAMN HICKS!! THEY'VE GONE INSANE, AND NOW THEIR MOCKING THEIR FAMILY PETS!!

The Informer - BE NICE, EDDIE!

[ The moo's continue for a few seconds, until suddenly "Cows In Black" by Will Smith blasts throughout the arena. The lights dim, and out from behind the curtain comes International Cow and European Cow, accompanied by their childhood friend BESSY THE COW. As they walk down the aisle, many fans back off... they can't handle the stench of Bessy. The two men dressed in tight overalls with black spotted white shirts continue to walk to the ring. They're also wearing black sunglasses, and each have a branding iron and a cow bell in their hands.]

Vic Canon - What the hell? What's the meaning of this?

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHHA!!! THERES A REAL COW WALKING DOWN THE AISLE!!!! HAHAHHAHA!!!

The Informer - Indeed... This is pretty strange. We all thought Jericho was nuts when he said Oranges and Penguins were taking over the EWA, but right now we've got 3 "cows" walking down the aisle... What has the EWA come to?

Vic Canon - We're about to find out exactly who these guys are... International Cow has a mic in his hand... lets listen in...

International Cow - It's time...It's time...It's Milking time boys!

The Informer - It's what?? Did he say Milking time??

European Cow - We've come to the EWA for one reason... we heard it supposedly has great talent, and tough competition! But, this federation is lacking one thing... US! We've come here to milk the EWA dry of all it's "talent"!

Vic Canon - Oh please... Someone please throw these guys in the ring with the Iconz Of Perfection so they can teach them a lesson!

International Cow - I've been thorugh all the fields of America and WE ARE THE TOUGHEST COWS AROUND! Not even the BJ Cows could beat us...NOT EVEN THE COWULATORS CAME CLOSE TO DEFEATING US!

Eddie Sensation - What?? Did he say BJ Cows?? And Cowulators?

The Informer - Yes Eddie... I beleive they're trying to mock those two great Tag Teams... Possibly the two greatest Tag Teams in the EWA's history!

European Cow - What he's trying to say is that WE OWN THE EWA, AND ALL OF ITS "TALENT"!! WE ARE THE GREATEST THING TO HIT THE EWA SINCE HOMO MILK!! THE EWA NEEDS US!! AND WE ARE FINALLY HERE TO SAVE ITS PATHETIC TAG TEAM DIVISION!!!

Vic Canon - Yeah right... Hello?!?! MEXICAN CONNECTION?!?! ICONZ OF PERFECTION?!?! HELLS HENCHMEN??

International Cow - WE CAN CHEW MORE GRASS THAN YOUR AVERAGE COW!!! THE EWA NEEDS US FOR OUR FRESH MILK!!!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!!! WHAT A RETARD!!!!

The Informer - Haha.. Ladies and Gentlemen, Eddie Sensation is right for once!

European Cow - Right... Now that translated into english, is that we're not your average team... we're not jumping on the EWA bandwagon... we're here to PROVE that we are the best! And we're going to prove that TONIGHT, IN THE TAG TEAM TURMOIL MATCH!!!

Vic Canon - There you go Informer... here's the 4th team you were speculating about!

International Cow - MOOOOO!!!! MOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHHAHAHAH!!!! HE'S MOOING!!!!! HE'S MOOING!!!!!!

European Cow - But, then again, you might not have to wait until that match! If you're lucky, you'll get a little preview!

The Informer - Oh great.. There's another promise for tonight... Who knows what these psycho's are going to do!

European Cow - We are the COWS IN BLACK, AND WE'RE THE GREATEST TAG TEAM TO GRACE THE FIELDS THEY CALL THE EWA!!!

International Cow - ISN'T THAT RIGHT, BESSY?!

[ International Cow puts the mic to the cow's mouth. A long moo is heard...]

European Cow - EXACTLY! Bessy NEVER LIES! And you just heard it, straight from the cows mouth!

Eddie Sensation - HAHHAHA!!! THEY'RE KILLING ME!!!!

The Informer - Something smells around here! Is it them, or that cow?!

Vic Canon - Actually, I think it's Eddie!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAH, NO!

[ The loud moo's begin again, and "Cows In Black" by Will Smith blasts through the arena speakers. The Cows in Black slowly walk towards the backstage area...]

[The screen then fades to black, and fades back in to a shot of the Community Center in Knoxville, Tennessee. Hacker is seen walking around outside, picking up garbage. He already has 4 bags PACKED with garbage. The bags are tied up, and left to the side. Hacker continues to clean up the area, when suddenly a car begins honking its horn at Hacker. Hacker looks over, and see's Tom Stone sitting in the drivers seat.]

Tom Stone - You're doing a nice job, Hack! Ya know, you've gotta be careful around here.... These roads are slippery!

Hacker - Huh?

[Tom Stone pushes the gas pedal down as hard as he can. He jumps the curb, and runs over all 4 bags of garbage! Each bag explodes instantly! Garbage goes flying all over the place! Hackers throws his equipment to the floor, and begins to chase after Tom Stone. The camera fades to black....]

Lex Lethal - Keep your questions, I'm not answering them... I have to go do something right now....

Rachel Stevens - What?! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!? DAMMIT! Rob?

Arthryn - Let it be known, it's not going to be the last piece of gold that's coming around my waist. Now, do you need anything, USian piece of shit?

Rob DiMarco - Last week, your win wasn't as simple as you'd think... Some people think you paid Lex Lethal off for that match, and others beleive that you two just worked together to take the title off 8-Ball... What are your comments to these people?

Arthryn - I have a dick right in between my legs, so how about each and everyone of "these people" suck on this?

Rob DiMarco - Last thing... We just saw Lex Lethal storm out and say he had something "important" to do...Any ideas?? Or comments??

Arthryn - I've got no idea whatsoever what this "loco" man has up his sleeve. We might want to find out.

Rob DiMarco - Well, lets send it to ringside!

Vic Canon - Yeah, exactly what I'm saying.... But, we should find out in a few seconds!

Eddie Sensation - Not if you guys dont shut up, and let Myers do his job!

The Informer - Yeah, yeah...

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the EWA North American Championship! Introducing first... standing 6'10" and weighing in at 312 pounds, from San Juan, Puerto Rico, the EWA North American Champion, Arthryn!

["Hangman Jury" by Aerosmith blasts through the speakers, as the EWA North American Champion, Arthryn steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - Well, there's Arthryn... He's worked his ass off for that title, and now he finally got it!

Vic Canon - Yup! Now it's time to see if he can defend it, week after week!

Chris Myers - And his opponent... accompanied to the ring by Mark Shadow, standing 6'5" and weighing in at 273 pounds, from Staten Island, New York, Lex Lethal!

["Bow Down" by Westside Connection blasts through the speakers, as Mark Shadow and Lex Lethal step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - Wait a minute... Lex Lethal is dressed in street clothes! And he's got a mic in his hand! What's the meaning of this??

Vic Canon - Well, this is probably what he was talking about... The thing he has to "go do"....

Eddie Sensation - And he's not even getting into the ring! He's standing at the bottom of the entrance ramp!

Lex Lethal - Much like my career in the EWA, I'm going to make this short and quick. Over the last few weeks, I've been having some personal problems that I can no longer handle. Because of these issues, I'm being forced into early retirement..

The Informer - WHAT?!?! NO WAY!!!!

Lex Lethal - As much as I hate to go, I must leave... Arthryn, good luck with the Title, and your career. Thanks to all the fans that supported me... I will truly miss you all... So long, EWA...

Vic Canon - Oh man! I can't beleive this! Lex Lethal is so young, and he was just getting started in the EWA....

Eddie Sensation - Yeah, but now he has to leave!! OH WELL, LIFE GOES ON!

The Informer - Eddie, you're so cold and heartless! Wait a minute... It's Brandon Kearse!

Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!! OH!!! BRANDON KEARSE JUST NAILED ARTHRYN WITH A STEEL CHAIR RIGHT IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD! ARTHRYN JUST FLOPPED TO THE MAT!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!!

The Informer - And now Kearse has the North American Title in his hands! Arthryn is slowly getting up!

Vic Canon - Kearse is measuring him.... Arthryn is up!!! WHAM!!!!! OH MAN!!! KEARSE NAILED HIM!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAH!! AND NOW LOOK AT KEARSE!! HE'S IN ARTHRYN'S FACE, YELLING AT HIM!!! HAHAHA!!! I LOVE IT!!!

The Informer - And now Brandon Kearse is holding the North American Title over his head!

Vic Canon - Well I'll tell ya one thing! Arthryn is going to be PISSED this Sunday, and that's not good for Kearse!

Eddie Sensation - HA! And he's supposed to be afraid of Arthryn?! Are you serious?

The Informer - Well, he better be!

Mikey Basulto - Are you sure they are ready?

Ronny Garbage - I know you have no experience with this subject, unless you got the other "brand." But, they are ALWAYS ready when the price is right.... I'll go in the room and check to see if everything is..... allright. You take the little spic of the Horse....

Mikey Basulto - HEY!

Ronny Garbage - OH YEAH! Your a filthy mexican too! Looks like you two have two things in common now.....

[ TBG waves his hand at Ronny as if shooing him away and then goes to untie Tito, who looks to be really frightened....]

Mikey Basulto - Settle down Tito.... we are doing this for your own good.... just go in there, and Ronny will show you the ropes.... that little pervert is an expert.....

[ Mike releases Tito and grabs him by his neck.... leading him into Motel Room.... the camera zooms into the room to reveal three prostitute looking girls, wearing very little, with smiles across their cock suckin faces. The Big Gay's eyes grow wide, he leaves the room and slams the door behind him...]

Brandon Kearse - What kind of message do you think it is Stevens!? You think I am kicking his ass for my health? Well sister, Im not. The message I am sending to Arthryn is that he does not have what it takes to defeat The Foundation! Oh ok, last time you paid the so called loco one off and he handed you the belt. But this time, there will be no loco one around. So basicly Arthryn I am challenging you for your and soon to be my North American Title at the Pay-Per-View. Want a stipulation? You name it. The Foundation is here to apply pressure to the champions and well Arthryn your one of them. You've cross the wrong pass and now you have to live with it, every single day of you life until you step into the ring with me at Break Down! And I'll walk out the victor while you last down on the mat after you've been hit with BlackOut or Top Dollar Frog Splash and look up at the cieling asking yourself why did I ever step into the ring with The Foundation. How did I get myself into this, now I have no belt. Well Arthryn you messed with the wrong person and now you will live from the past! So Arthryn.... Me and you, PPV, North American Title. Be there or I'll come after you.

Rachel Stevens - Wow! Well there you have it! Hopefully we'll get a respose from him soon... Anyway, in a few moments you step in the ring with Nomad in an International Title Match! This could be your big step in the EWA, and we know that Nuno Nitrowalawitz is around here somewhere, looking to get revenge against Nomad! Tonight, you might very well be in the right place at the right time!

Brandon Kearse - Whoa wait a second Rachel.... You trying to say that the only way I'll defeat NoMaD is if "Hot Damn Your Mom Sucked My Cock Last Night" Nuno Nitrowalawitz interferes and helps The Foundation win!? NONSENSE! I could care less about what Nuno Nitrowalawitz does by himself or with somebody else but this guy we call a wrestler better and I mean better not get in the way of The Foundation. Because bad things will happen and I promise you will step into the ring, If things happen. So Nuno is your watching this, let this be a warning. Fu*k with me and be fu*ked with. And as you can see I just don't care. I cuss on T.V. So what. I kick you ass on T.V If you step in my way.... So what! It's all about The Foundation, not some guy thats a gigalo. And if your gonna interfere Nuno *cough* try hitting NoMaD as hard as possible *cough*. Remember, Nuno cost me the belt tonight your ass is grass. You do what you have to do with NoMaD and it's a done deal. Speaking of NoMaD.... We fight tonight for your EWA International Title. Now I notice that the EWA International Title can be won by me, The Foundation but just earlier I challed another pathetic loser by the name of Arthryn. Well heres the deal If The Foundation has confused any of you retards at home. The Foundation WILL win the EWA International Title tonight and will fight Arthryn for the EWA International and North American Title at the same time. Double Title match, If Tommy boy allows it. Like It? Don't Like It? Fu*k It, You Will Deal With It!

Rachel Stevens - Over to you, Rob!

Nomad - Yeah, Rob, plenty. This little scumbag shows up on the EWA's doorstep, and suddenly he's an International Title contender? That's one-hundred percent pure BULLSHIT. He thinks he's at my level? He thinks he has what it takes to beat the greatest International Champion in EWA history? FUCK HIM. He'd better lace his boots up real tight, tape up his arms real good, and drag his sorry little mid-carder ass down to the ring to take an ass-whipping in grand Nomad fashion.

Nomad - I've beaten TNT, I've beaten Serial Thrylla, I've beaten Chandler, and most fresh in everyone's memory....I nearly killed Dino Delsante. "The Foundation" Brandon Kearse? He's just a quick and easy markup for my win/loss record. Tonight, Kearse....you will meet your Journey's End.

Rob DiMarco - Also, we all saw what you did to Nuno earlier... Are you at all worried that he might come out here tonight, and possibly cost you your title??

Nomad - Ha ha ha....Rob, don't be a moron. Nuno is welcome to come down here and interfere as much as he wants, it won't matter for shit. He steps on that apron....one foot touches that mat....and I'll kick his ass, too. He wants my title? Fine. He can try all he wants to take it from me. But if he interferes in one, just one of my matches, he's gonna' learn why I'm one of the most feared men in the Extreme Wrestling Association.

Rob DiMarco - Back to you guys at ringside...

Vic Canon - Right... It's too easy to call this stuff! It's almost guarantee'd that someone else will get involved in this match!

Eddie Sensation - We'll see about that!

The Informer - Indeed... Lets send it to Chris Myers, who's in the ring!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the EWA Interntional Championship! Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by Ashley Kearse, standing 6'3" and weighing in at 250 pounds, from California, "The Foundation" Brandon Kearse!

["Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson blasts through the speakers, as Ashley Kearse and "The Foundation" Brandon Kearse step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - Brandon Kearse has a match coming up at Break Down against Arthryn, for the North American Title! And we just saw what Kearse did to Arthryn a few moments ago!

Vic Canon - Arthryn's one person you don't want to piss off!

Eddie Sensation - And this next guy is another person you dont want to get on the bad side of!

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'2" and weighing in at 256 pounds, from New York, New York, the EWA International Champion, Nomad!

["Time Bomb" by Godsmack blasts through the speakers, as the EWA International Champion, Nomad steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - Nomad left "Hot Damn Gigolo" Nuno Nitrowalawitz out cold earlier today... And Nuno IS in the building!

Vic Canon - Something should happen there!

Eddie Sensation - There's the bell!

The Informer - And we're underway!

Vic Canon - They lock up! Nomad whips Kearse to the ropes! "The Foundation" bounces back, and ducks a clothesline attempt by Nomad! Nomad turns around, Kearse bounces off the ropes... Nomad hits the mat, and Kearse jumps over him! Nomad gets up, Kearse hits the ropes... OOOHHH!!! DIVING REVERSE DDT!!! NOMAD PLANTED HIM INTO THE MAT!!

Eddie Sensation - DAMN! WHAT IMPACT!!

The Informer - Nomad has him on his feet.... OOH!! FISHERMAN'S BUSTER! Nomad goes for the cover... 1.... 2.... No! Kearse kicks out!

Vic Canon - Nomad picks up Kearse by his hair... Nomad croses his arm across Kearse's chest, and grabs his shoulder! Nomad jumps.... OOOH!!! WHAT A SLAM BY NOMAD!!

Eddie Sensation - And now he's going to the top rope!!

The Informer - Nomad is perched on the top rope! He's measuring.....

Vic Canon - AND HE JUMPS!!! .....WHAM!!!! SENTON BOMB!!!! HE NAILED IT! And now he's going for the cover!

Eddie Sensation - 1.... 2...... OH! SOOOO CLOSE!

The Informer - Nomad gets to his feet, and lifts Kearse with him! ...Uh oh! Nomad's got him hooked..... OOOHHH!!! THE WANDERING!!!!!! NOMAD PLANTED HIM!!!

Vic Canon - You know what that means!!! This could be Kearse's.....

Eddie Sensation - JOURNEY'S END!!

The Informer - You got it Eddie! Nomad is setting up Kearse on the top rope! ...And now Nomad climbs up.... Here he goes......

Vic Canon - WHAM!!!!! AND HE NAILS IT!!!! JOURNEY'S END!!!! 1....... 2....... 3!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - DAMN! Kearse got his ASS KICKED!

Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and STILL EWA International Champion, Nomad!

The Informer - Wow! What a victory for Nomad! Wait a minute... Now Nomad is asking for a mic!

Vic Canon - And he's got one! Let's listen in....

[Nomad is out of breath from his match. He takes a deep breath, and starts speaking...]

Nomad - Huff....huff....Nuno. You see what I just did to Kearse? Did you see that?! Did you see what I did to Dino Delsante? DID YOU?! THAT'S WHY I'M THE EWA INTERNATIONAL CHAMPION, NUNO!!! THAT'S WHY I'M THE BEST!!!

[Nomad breathes deeply for a moment, then continues...]

Nomad - Huff....huff....You got lucky last week, Nuno. You got me, fair and square. But that was a fluke. THAT WAS A FUCKING FLUKE!!! Huff....and I need retribution. I need to redeem myself!!! So right here, right now, I'm issuing a challenge. I'm drawing the battle lines. And the lines will be drawn at Break Down!!! You and me, Nuno. One on one.

[Nomad isn't quite as out of breath, and seems more composed.]

Nomad - We're gonna' step into this ring together, put MY FUCKING BELT on the line, and only one man is gonna' walk out with the EWA International Title!!!

The Informer - WOW!!! THERE YOU HAVE IT!!! THE CHALLENGE HAS BEEN MADE!!! Will Nuno accept?!

[Suddenly, "Just A Gigolo" by David Lee Roth blasts through the speakers, and "Hot Damn Gigolo" Nuno Nirtowalawitz emerges from behind the curtain.....]

"Hot Damn Gigolo" Nuno Nirtowalawitz - HEEEEEEY Nomad!! Waz happenin'?! You got me earlier today, I'll admit that! And it was pretty good to!! WHAM! BOTTLE OVER THE HEAD! Hahaha! Pretty impressive!

Vic Canon - Wow, this guy is messed!

"Hot Damn Gigolo" Nuno Nirtowalawitz - But, I didn't come out here to compliment you.... No.... I came out here to accept your challenge!

Eddie Sensation - YES!!! HE ACCEPTS!!!

"Hot Damn Gigolo" Nuno Nirtowalawitz - But, I'm still not too happy about earlier tonight.... So, how 'bout we change add some stipulations?!

Nomad - What exactly do you have in mind??

"Hot Damn Gigolo" Nuno Nirtowalawitz - Well, I was thinking..... something like a..... a...... A HAIR SALON MATCH! We fight in a Hair Salon! We can use ANYTHING we find in the Salon! Other then that, the rules are the same!

Nomad - I'm not amused by your queerness, but I'll accept that little addition! Why?? Just so I can prove that I can beat ANYONE, ANYWHERE... BECAUSE I AM THE GREATEST INTERNATIONAL CHAMPION OF ALL-TIME!

"Hot Damn Gigolo" Nuno Nirtowalawitz - WOOOHOOO!! Nomad, I'll see you this Sunday! And make sure you shine up that title, because you'll be handing it over to ME!

The Informer - WOW!!! WHAT A SERIES OF EVENTS!!! FANS, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!!!!

The Wildman - For one, it's important because, obviously, I get the pleasure of tearing the baby-face pansy's heart right out of his puny, hairless chest, and another reason is to get the advantage of knowing my surroundings more so than him. Frankly, I think that Stone coming out here and finally showing some back bone is the best thing that's happened in the EWA for a while now. I like the way I picture this match. An Extreme title Jailhouse match. Never been done before and probably won't happen ever again, and that's yet another thing that makes this so much more exciting. Hustler, honestly, I've always had respect for you. No matter how much you've managed to piss me off, I've always had the heart to look past your foolish pride, and see how good of a wrestler you really are. Now I ask you to do me the same favor. I know you don't like me, and ya know somthing.... I don't like you too much either, but I want you to look past all that. I want you to realize that this isn't gonna be a walk in the park for you like you probably think it is. IT'S GONNA BE A WALK IN A MO' FO' JAILHOUSE FOR YOUR PANSY ASS!!! Ever since you jumped on me from the damn EWA Big Screen, I've been itchin' to get some payback, and I'm here to tell ya that it's collectin' time. You can say that you're responsible for bringing respect back to the Extreme title until your lips turn blue, but the fact is, I've been there, tough guy. I've been in your shoes several times over. It's a well-known fact that I was the 3-time EWA Extreme champ, and I defended the Extreme Title in matches that Stone doesn't have the stomach for anymore. Barbed-Wire matches, Glass matches, Explosion matches where there was C-2 explosives hooked up to the fucking barbed-wire. I've been there, Hustler. There's nothing you can think of that I haven't already done. So even if you do happen to beat me and get to the jail 24 hours before I do, it won't matter to me. Afterall, it's not about knowing all the moves, IT'S ABOUT KICKING OUT OF ALL THE MOVES!!! And I'll be kicking out of anything and everything you can give me, big boy.

Rachel Stevens - Also, the Extreme Title will be on the line! You two are both great Extreme wrestlers, and you've both held the EWA Extreme Title... Do you think that this match at Break Down will determine who is the best EWA Extreme Champion, all-time??

The Wildman - I'm sure people are debating that same issue, Rachel, just like I'm sure people are debating who is the ugliest and smelliest wrestler of all time. I'll save them the trouble and tell you that you're looking at the ugliest and smelliest wrestler of all time right now. Sure, Cactus Jack took the honor of being both the ugliest AND smelliest wrestler back in his ECW days, but he's retired now, and so I've stepped up to the plate and I've taken his place. So now there's nothing you can use to insult me Hustler. I know I'm not pretty. Lord knows I've taken enough bumps, I've broken enough bones, and I've lost enough blood to be awarded something more honorable than the two prizes I've mentioned, and now that time has come. Hustler, I want you to try your hardest. I want you to test me, and take me to the limits because it's been a long while since I've had a title shot of any kind here in the EWA. I want you to take out all the stops and show me what you've got. Don't hold anything back, boy. Honestly, you're gonna need everything you have and then some. When it's all said and done, even your best isn't gonna be good enough. Cause like I said, it's not about knowing all the moves, IT'S ABOUT KICKING OUT OF ALL THE MOVES!!! And at the Jailhouse match for the Extreme title, you Hustler, are officially gonna become my bitch. I'M GONNA STICK MY DICK IN YOUR FUCKING EAR, JUST LIKE I DID YOUR WHORE OF A MOTHER'S EAR!!! SHE LIKED IT HUSTLER!!! SHE LIKED IT WHEN I CALLED HER 'BITCH' AND TOLD HER THAT HER SON ISN'T GONNA BE NEARLY AS PRETTY ANYMORE!!! I'm gonna have to stop calling you a baby-face pansy, AND START CALLING YOU A SCARRED-FACE BITCH!!! This is where I begin, and this is the beginning of the end. Pain is knocking. JUST LET.........ME.........IN!!!!!

Rachel Stevens - Over to you Rob!

The Hustler - I would think this win is quite important in the scheme of things. To know the jail, the battlefield to say, will be a great advantage. The winner of tonight's match will be able to mainpulate the jail to their liking, hiding weapons and such, and the other man can do nothing about it. That's why I intend to crush Wildman's fuckin' skull tonight in order to gain that advantage. This match tonight I want to be the precursor for the final clash between myself, and the untalented, unskilled, unintelligible, piece of gutter trash I've been fighting with the past couple weeks, The Wildman. I am only true hardcore legend in this fuckin' fed, and I intend in proving that already-established fact once again, by destroying Wildman tonight, and finally finishing him off for good, inside a jail this Sunday at BreakDown. And I shall not......be.......denied.

Rob DiMarco - Also, the Extreme Title will be on the line! You two are both great Extreme wrestlers, and you've both held the EWA Extreme Title... Do you think that this match at Break Down will determine who is the best EWA Extreme Champion, all-time??

The Hustler - Like I said, that fact HAS ALREADY BEEN ESTABLISHED. I AM THE BEST MUTHAFUCKIN EXTREME CHAMPION IN THIS FED'S EXISTANCE. I held that damn title for the longest consecutive amount of time. More than anbody, and especially longer than that shit of a champ Wildman. I've done things in a matches that neither him nor anyone could think of, or probably wouldn't even want to attempt. Years ago, Wildman was going through matches that were just ridculous, and had no real point to them. The effects of those retarded matches are probably the cause of of why Wildman sucks so much in the ring and on the stick in the present day. I, on the other hand, am smart. I bring class to what the world calls "extreme". I am the goddamn immortal of hardcore. I've done it all, and these days, I'm just adding on to the already legendary status I have. Wildman should be shitting his pants coming into the ring, but you see, the guy so drained of all intelligence from his idiotic bumps, he's just a worthless dumbass who's just being thrown into the match with me at BreakDown, so that the strap can go around the waist of the ONLY man in the EWA who can give it the worth that it deserves. Wildman, you make walk proud, but YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR FUCKIN STEP.

Rob DiMarco - Lets send it to ringside!

Vic Canon - Exactly! Some people think this isn't a big deal, but think about it... When you play hide and seek, do you like to hide, or seek? Hide, obviously!

Eddie Sensation - Vic, we don't want to hear your childhood stories!

The Informer - Hahaha!!!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall! The winner will enter the Jailhouse 24 hours in advance, to prepare and familiarize himself with the surroundings! Introducing first... standing 6'4" and weighing in at 304 pounds, from Indianapolis, Indiana, The Wildman!

["Calm Like A Bomb" by Rage Against The Machine blasts through the speakers, as The Wildman steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - There's the Wildman! And I honestly think that if you give this guy 24 hours in a location, he'll memorize his surroundings! That's not good for the Hustler!

Vic Canon - Damn straight! If the Wildman wins tonight, he's going to be my pick for the winner of the Jailhouse Match!

Eddie Sensation - [Shakes head] You guys, you guys.... You're forgetting ONE important thing! Something that will eliminate all those and's, if's, or but's! AND HERE HE COMES!

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'4" and weighing in at 242 pounds, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, The Hustler!

["Walk" by Pantera blasts through the speakers, as The Hustler steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - LOOK OUT!!! THE HUSTLER IS COMING TO THE RING WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!!

Vic Canon - THIS ISN'T EXTREME RULES!!! HE CAN'T USE THAT!!! HE'LL BE DISQUALIFIED!!!!

Eddie Sensation - DUH!!!

The Informer - HUSTLER SLIDES INTO THE RING.... HE SWINGS AT THE WILDMAN, NO! WILDMAN DUCKS! OOH!! DROP TOE HOLD BY THE WILDMAN!!

Vic Canon - HA!! The Hustler landed head first onto that chair!! Great technical move by The Wildman!

Eddie Sensation - The Wildman is pick up the Hustler again....

The Informer - OOH!!! CACTUS CLOTHESLINE!

Vic Canon - But the Hustler gets right back up! He charges at the Wildman! OOOH!!! SPINEBUSTER!!!!

Eddie Sensation - OOOOUCH!!!!

The Informer - Wildman goes for the cover! 1.... 2.... No! Hustler kicks out! And now The Wildman is picking up the Hustler by his hair!

Vic Canon - OOOH!! LOW BLOW BY THE HUSTLER! And now he's got that steel chair in his hands again!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT WILDMAN!

The Informer - Hustler swings! NO! WILDMAN DUCKS! WHAM!!! HAHAH!!! THE CHAIR BOUNCED OFF THE ROPES, AND NAILED THE HUSTLER IN THE HEAD!!

Vic Canon - HAHAH!!! HE KNOCKED HIMSELF OUT!!

Eddie Sensation - Uh oh!! Look guys!! The Wildman has the chair now!! And he looks like he's going to use it!!

The Informer - NO!! DON'T DO IT WILDMAN!!! YOU'LL BE DISQUALIFIED!!!!

Vic Canon - WHAM!!!! OH NO!!! HE NAILED THE HUSTLER WITH THE CHAIR!!!! THERE'S THE BELL!!!! THIS MATCH IS OVER!!!

Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and the man who will enter the Jailhouse 24 hours in advance, The Hustler!

Eddie Sensation - OH NO!!! LOOK AT THE WILDMAN!!! HE'S GOING CRAZY!!! HE CAN'T BELEIVE HE GOT DISQUALIFIED!!

The Informer - Look at The Hustler! He's getting the hell out of here! The Wildman has his hands on the referee! DON'T DO IT WILDMAN!!!

Vic Canon - GET SOME HELP OUT HERE!!!! HE'LL KILL THE MAN!!!!

Eddie Sensation - YES!!!!! DO IT!!!! DO IT!!!!!

The Informer - OH, thank god!! The Wildman put the referee down! Maybe he remembered what Stone did to the last person who touched a referee!

Vic Canon - Hahaha! He doesn't want that to happen to him!

Eddie Sensation - Shut up guys, nobody knows what you're talking about except you two... Friggin' idiots!

The Informer - Eh, bite me... We've got to take another quick commercial break! Don't change the channel! We'll be back in 2 minutes!

European Cow - What are you, retarded? We just told you what our comments were a few minutes ago! And you heard it straight from the cows mouth!

International Cow - BESSY!!!! MOOOOOOO!!!!! MOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

European Cow - Exactly! There you have it... International Cow just repeated it for you! Next Question!

Rachel Stevens - Ummmm...? Last time we had a surprise team on Heat, it was The Mad Monks! And they were nothing but a big joke! Are you planning to repeat what they did?

European Cow - All the Mad Monks did was beat the Mexican Connection! We're going to rip the Mexican Connection apart, and any other team that gets in our way! Right, International?

International Cow - YES IS GOOD YES!

European Cow - Tonight is only the beginning of our reign as the greatest Tag Team in EWA History! Right Bessy??

[A fat cow walks into the picture... Rachel Stevens covers her face. The stench of the cow is making here gag...]

Bessy - MOOOOOO!!!

European Cow - EXACTLY! Bessy NEVER LIES! And you just heard it, straight from the cows mouth!

Rachel Stevens - Over to you, Rob!

Vic Canon - I would blame those Cows, but they're too stupid to do something like that!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!!!

The Informer - Well, lets send it up to Chris Myers...

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the EWA Tag Team Titles! Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by Bessy, at a total combined weight of 545 pounds, International Cow and European Cow, The Cows In Black!

["Cows In Black" by Will Smith blasts through the speakers, as Bessy and the Cows In Black step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - What the hell has the EWA come to?? Right now, there are two people walking down the entrance ramp thinking that they are cows!

Vic Canon - Haha! I dont know Informer... I think Stone has lost his mind!

Eddie Sensation - Huh?! What if these two are great wrestlers?? LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THEM!! THEY'RE IN GREAT SHAPE!!

The Informer - Well, I doubt it Eddie, but you've got a point....

Chris Myers - Introducing next... at a total combined weight of 623 pounds, Anarchy and Myzary, Hells Henchmen!

["Cemetary Gates" by Pantera blasts through the speakers...]

The Informer - Well, theres no sign of the Hells Henchmen.... I guess this match is going to happen without them...

Chris Myers - Next... accompanied to the ring by Bret Sheer and Jay, at a total combined weight of 345 pounds, Moochie "The Disgruntled Mexican" and El GiGante, The Mexican Connection!

["Rap Superstar" by Cypress Hill blasts through the speakers....]

Vic Canon - And The Mexican Connection are also nowhere to be found! This is all too strange.... someone better get to the bottom of it!

Chris Myers - And finally... at a total combined weight of 512 pounds, they are the EWA Tag Team Champions... Lorenzo Hayes and WaR CrYmE, The Iconz Of Perfection!

["Raw" by Staind blasts through the speakers....]

Eddie Sensation - HA!!! And the EWA Tag Team Champions are nowhere to be found! They're all scared of the Cows in Black!

The Informer - I doubt that Eddie.... I HIGHLY doubt that...

Vic Canon - But for some reason, I have a feeling that these Cows are the reason behind it all!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT?! WHY ARE YOU BLAMING THEM?!

The Informer - It's pretty obvious Eddie! They're the only team here, and they promised us a "preview" before the match!

Vic Canon - Exactly.... Why are you so stupid Eddie?!

Eddie Sensation - SHUT UP!! MYERS HAS SOMETHING TO SAY!

Chris Myers - Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been informed by EWA Referee Lance King that the winners of this match, by result of a forfeit, The Cows In Black! BUT, STILL EWA Tag Team Champions.. The Iconz Of Perfection!

The Informer - Oh great! Keep feeiding the fire more feul!

Eddie Sensation - HUH?

Vic Canon - Just shut up Eddie...

Eddie Sensation - Here Vic.... This is the $20 I owe you...

Vic Canon - Holy cow! I FINALLY get paid back!

Eddie Sensation - That's the 20 dollars I owe your mother for last night!! AHHAHAHA!!!!

Vic Canon - SHUT UP EDDIE!!!

The Informer - Both of you shut up! European Cow has a mic!

European Cow - Did I tell you, or what?! All these other "great" EWA Tag Teams don't even have the balls to step in the ring with us!! Hell, as far as I'm concerned, WE ARE THE EWA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!!

Vic Canon - Oh please!

International Cow - YES!! YES!!!! IS GOOD, YES!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!!! WHAT?!?! HAHAHAH!!!

European Cow - As for all your little beloved Tag Teams.... I know what happened to them!

The Informer - Of course you do!

Vic Canon - How can't you know when you're the ones who did it?!

Eddie Sensation - Vic........ Just shus the hell up, you damn idiot.

European Cow - I was send a mysterious video tape by someone, who filmed it all! The person remains unknown, but I will show you the tape! Hopefully you can help us find out who did it!

The Informer - Oh great... I gotta see this!

[The EWA Big Screen fades to a shot of the Hells Henchmen, Mexican Connection, and Iconz Of Perfection ALL hanging upside down by their feet. They are in a large room, which is covered in cow manouer! The camera zooms in to each of their chests... On their chests, the letters "C.I.B" have been branded in.]

Vic Canon - Oh good god! The Cows in Black have struck the EWA Tag Team Division!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAH!!! THEY PUT THEM IN MANOUER, AND BRANDED THEIR CHESTS!!! AHAHHAHA!! THESE GUYS ARE GREAT!!!!!

European Cow - Well whadda ya know?! The letters CIB are branded into their chests! I assure you that this has NOTHING to do with us!!!

The Informer - Yeah, right!

European Cow - HAHAHA!!! EWA, TAKE THAT AS A WARNING!!! THE COWS IN BLACK ARE HERE, AND NOTHING CAN STOP US!!!!! RIGHT BESSY?!?!

Bessy - MOOOOOO!!!

European Cow - EXACTLY! Bessy NEVER LIES! And you just heard it, straight from the cows mouth!!

["Cows In Black" by Will Smith blasts through the speakers, as Bessy and the Cows In Black begin to leave the ring.]

Vic Canon - DAMMIT, now we have ANOTHER two employee's who have lost their minds!

Eddie Sensation - Vic, you're pretty brave when nobody is around, huh?

The Informer - Wait a minute.... I think we have an update on this Divine situation! Lets send it backstage!

Divine - Tito, are you okay?? What did they do to you?!? TITO!

[ Tito stands up and brushes himself off. "Kung-Fu Fighting" by the BeeGee's starts to play out of nowhere as Tito does a split. Divine looks on with pleasure....]

Divine - YES! FLEXIBILITY IS THE KEY TITO!

[ Divine tries to kiss Tito but he runs ahead and walks away.... almost strutting. Divine's eyes swell with tears as he looks at Tito walking away, and then at the car that he spent nearly two hours cleaning.....]

Divine - ENOUGH! Its one thing to mess with me, but when you mess with my Tito.... your going TOO FAR!! Cody, I KNOW you were behind this! These games have gone far enough.... at the PPV.... we will FINISH IT! I don't know what you did to my baby, but It seems to me that you are trying to get some of his tasty tortilla testicles... but I WON'T LET YOU! Thats why I am challenging you, Cody Covington for this Sunday at the PPV.... with the love of my life... Tito involved. How about this..... I know how much he loves to play hide and go seek so how about me and you look for him, he hides anywhere in the building and the first man to find him is the winner! And whoever does find him.... can have him, to do whatever they please.....

[ Tom Stone pops up again, what timing by the owner of the EWA. He is standing there, and is turning a dark shade of red, his hands tighten up into fists. And he is chasing Divine away....]

Tom Stone - YOU IDIOT! YOU JACKASS! TWO HOURS! TWO HOURS I GAVE YOU TO DO ONE SIMPLE TASK! GET THE HELL OFF MY PROPERTY YOU IMCOMPITENT ASSHOLE!

Vic Canon - Yeah, and I don't even know who it is. And even though he's turned into a complete asshole these last few weeks, the man does have every right to this time.

The Informer - Yes he does. So, unwillingly, let's take you now to this prerecorded segment. That's right fans....It's time for Pride...

Eddie Sensation - I hate this bastard...

-W E E K T W O-

[Once again the entire arena, the EWA videowall, and the announcers' mics all go completely dead. We fade into a view of what appears to be an 18 hole golf course. The camera zooms in on a sign above the 18th hole grandstands...]

[So, we are in the sunny outskirts of Los Angeles, California, at the world famous Augusta/Pebble Beach Golf Course. The camera used to zoom on the sign fades to black...]

[We then fade into another view, this one a panoramic view of the 3rd green. A small, par 3 hole at the far left corner of the course. The camera takes a sharp left, and arrives at a lone palm tree, surrounded by bunker on every side. leaning against the tree, wearing black nickers, a black golf shirt, black kneehigh socks, black shoes, and a black golf beret, looking exactly like the late Payne Stewart's shadow, lies EWA superstar and American turncoat Clayton Chandler. He looks off into the distance through his ultradark metal-framed Ray-Bans, at the great blue yonder a little ways from the green.]

Chandler - Lets Do This...

[Chandler raises his lean bottle of Original Coors to his mouth, finishes his drink, and chugs it into the navy Pacific. He sighs, and while still looking out at the great blue nothing, begins a speech, a speech that the entire world silently watches...]

Chandler - Golf. One of the great American sports. But surely not an American sport at heart. Like so many other things in this world, it was stolen. A harmless, nuetral, game. Stolen from its rightful owners...the British, the Scottish, and the Irish.

Chandler - Before I get comments, I can surely picure each and every one of you out there saying to yourselves "Golf? Why golf?" Well, its simple. I am not at this place today to literally discuss the game of golf, in itself and as a whole. No...

Chandler - I am here today to discuss golf, and its state as a microcosm for what the country of America has become. Because, proud Americans, golf is not and will not be an American Sport. Yet, as the recent major tournaments, Ryder Cups, and Skins Games have shown, Americans, over the last 30 or so years, have morphed the game into something of a one man show. Something that the America, almost like Blackjack, is "the house," and its very hard, almost all of the time, to beat it.

[Chandler spits into the bunker, and proceeds...]

Chandler - "What the hell is Chandler talking about?" Yeah, I know. But let me ask you people a question. Was Pappa Woods doing the right thing when he raised his son to do NOTHING but live, sleep, eat, and breath golf? Was it right for the PGA to not allow a crippled man, A MAN WHO CANNOT HELP HIMSELF, who posses enourmous skill, to play in their league because he has to use a cart to get around?

Chandler - From the American Perspective, yes. And that is the point of this lecture. To America, to its people, and by its standards, winning is everything. There is no such thing as second place, and there sure as hell is no "honorable mention" to America. It is okay for a man to raise his son, even though completely blinding him to the outside world, on nothing but one sport. A SPORT. And when that son finally grew up, he was celebrated like an American hero. Is that right?

[Chandler rubs his nose, spits again, and begins talking once more.]

Chandler - By my eyes, I would have to say no. But you're eyes, the answer is probably the opposite.

Chandler - But when answering, keep this in mind. You are blinded, and I am not. You have no choice but to believe the propaganda Clinton and his predescesors have dished out for so many years. YOU DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER. But I do, I have seen the east side of the mountain. Keep that in mind, my friends, keep that in mind...

Chandler - Now, about Kerry Wood. A crippled man. A man with a problem. Yet, a man with EXTRAORDINARY golfing ability. But, he can't play in the big leagues? What kind of horseshit is that? If you answered typical American political horseshit, consider yourself a grand prize winner. Because that is EXACTLY what it is. The PGA is more concerned with its "image" to let someone with the talent of Mr. Wood to enter its league. And that, Americans, IS horseshit. And I know you know what I'm talking about, don't even try to hide it.

[Chandler moves, and begins to make his way to the green. He talks along the way...]

Chandler - ...And that, my friends, brings us to today. Surely there has to be another reason I'm here right? Surely I could have just given this lecture from a studio, or a lesser known golf course. Why the most famous course in America? Well, one because I am one rich bastard, and two because I know it hits you...right...here...[slaps chest]. And I know something else that would make America sick to its collective stomachs, and really send my message home...

[Chandler arives at the green...]

Chandler - You see, one of the main goals of A M E R I C A N P R I D E is not only to educate the masses by speech, but also to educate the masses BY EXAMPLE. And that is why I have with me today...a little friend...

[Chandler walks out of camera range, and when he returns he is wheeling in a man in a high-end black wheelchair, with a basket of balls and a golfbag attached to the back. The man is wearing the same outfit as Chandler, except in all white...a direct contrast. The man has to be at least 80 years old, but we cannot get a good look at him because Chandler has wheeled him out facing the other way. After both men are in full camera view, Chandler pulls the Ping(tm) putter out of the bag and, after taking a few practice strokes, faces the camera...]

Chandler - Ah yes, I love it when I have the American people in the palm of my hand. You know, when I decided golf was going to be the theme of this segment of 'Pride, I thought of several names. I checked all the responses in the major publications, and several golfers were there. Hal Sutton, Mark O'Meara, Fred Couples, Davis Love III, and even Tiger Woods, among others, were willing to step up to the plate for their country. But one name, one name on that list struck me as the right man for the job. I took one look at this man's name, it "American Hero" screamed at me. I took one look at this man's name and I knew he WAS the one. This man had to be chosen.

Chandler - I called him up on the number left, and we arranged to meet here. 36 holes and 10 beers later, I give to you people, a man who was one of the greatest commedians that ever lived, while being a TREMENDOUS threat on the greens...a TRUE American hero....Mr..BOB...HOPE!!!

[Chandler turns the chair around, and the face and body of legendary Bob Hope is there for the world to see. Only thing is...he isn't exactly moving...]

Chandler - Now, yeah, sure, 10 beers on any 86 year old'll get em a little sleepy, but that matters not. He's an American, he's supposed to be able to hold his liquor LIKE A MAN!! COME ON BOB, SHOW US WHATCHA GOT, LETS SEE THAT TOURNEY-WINNING STYLE!!!!!!

[Mr. Hope does not move.]

Chandler - AWWWWWWW....COME ON BOB!!!! LETS SEE YA SINK IT 4 INCHES DEEP!!!!

[Mr. Hope does not move.]

Chandler - BOB!!!! LIVE A LITTLE!!!!

[Yet, Mr. Hope does not move.]

Chandler - AWWWWW, YOU SUCK BOB!!! WHATS THE MATTER?!?! CAN'T TAKE IT LIKE A MAN?!?! I'LL SHOW YA WHAT THE FUCK TO TAKE LIKE A MAN, BOB!!!!!

[Chandler takes the putter, and swings it violently into the crotch of legendary golfer Bob Hope. Hope falls from his wheelchair to the ground. Chandler throws down the putter, and cynically laughing, walks away...]

[...and Mr. Hope DOES NOT MOVE.]

[We fade to black...and the world is yet again stunned silent.]

Fallen Angel - If I were paired with anyone else, we all know who'd win... Me... But I'm paired with Jericho, and no matter how superior my level of skill is, Jericho drags me way down. Then you've got that skanky-ass scotch bitch with a mouth full of crumbling, decaying dentures, Mandi. I can't even concerntrate when she's at ringside. I mean... How the hell can one person have teeth that bad?! Dental hygiene is not a hard thing to keep in practise with, people... I don't know what her problem is, but that is disgusting.

Rachel Stevens - Last week on Heat, Tom Stone announced that Chris Jericho would be having a Gauntlet Match at Break Down! But you've got to be thinking.... Why would Stone do this?? Is it just because he hates Jericho?? Or does Stone think that you can't get the job done??

Fallen Angel - No, Stone just hates Jericho... He wants to make sure both he and his skanky-ass manager lose the title. I like Tom Stone... He thinks like me, and that is so cool. So... I'll be facing a half-demolished Jericho at Break Down for the Heavyweight Title... Considering how much I could beat his ass under normal circumstances, can you imagine how easy it's gonna be for me to strip his fatass title when he's already spent from an earlier match?! Hahahah!

Rachel Stevens - Well, earlier tonight Tom Stone announced that he would be the second of the 5 to fight Chris Jericho! Stone talked about how he was looking forward to getting his hands on Jericho..... Meaning, Stone is looking forward to the match! But, how can Stone fight Jericho if you beat him?? HE CAN'T! I think Mr. Stone is doubting your ability!!

Fallen Angel - Are you trying to cause a fight?! Are you trying to make me and Stone war against each other? Don't you want Fallen Angel to become the Champ?! Rachel... Shut the fuck up!!! STOP TRYING TO CAUSE SHIT YOU FUCKING CHUBBY WHORE!!!!!

Rachel Stevens - Over to you Rob....

Thorn - Rob, I hate The Brink... I hate Fallen Angel, and hate Chris Jericho, and you know what?

Rob DiMarco - Huh?

Thorn - They hate me. And you know what else?

Rob DiMarco - Huh?

Thorn - I know it's three on one, I know that they don't like me, I know that they want me dead. I could give a fuck about them though. I could give a fuck about this match. Tom Stone just threw me in some bullshit match that I have no chance at winning, why? Good fucking question. I'm not going to bitch about it though, I'm not going to whine and complain about how "Tom Stone fucked me over" I'm not a little bitch. The only thing bitching is going to do is make people think I'm some stupid ass complainer, somebody like The Brink.

Rob DiMarco - I'm still shocked at your actions last week.... Why the hell did you do what you did?

Thorn - Why the hell does it matter to you?

Rob DiMarco - It's my job.

Thorn - And it's my job to kick people's ass' now leave me the fuck alone before it's your ass that's next.

[Thorn pushes by Rob DiMarco and walks down the hallway on his way to the ring.]

Rob DiMarco - Rachel.....?

The Brink - Why... Isn't that the question that we, as human beings are always asking ourselves? It's an eternal question... Why? Are you such a hoe? Why? Is Tom Stone such a fucking prick? and last.. Why? Did Thorn do what he did? None of it matters.. I had one last ounce of respect for Thorn, but I guess that was my mistake.. I paid dearly with it.. not with a loss of the match.. but with the loss of the only true friend I had left.

Rachel Stevens - Well, tonight you're teaming up with Thorn to take on Chris Jericho and Fallen Angel in Tag Team action... The winners of this match are simply going to be the team that works together most..... Do you think you and Thorn can work together tonight? Or has it gone further then just who wins the match?

The Brink - WORK TOGETHER?!?! BITCH, HAVEN'T YOU BEEN WATCHING ANYTHING AROUND YOU!?!

Rachel Stevens - Yes, of course but..

The Brink - What the fuck kind of shit is this? You just get done asking me about my relationship about me and Thorn.. I told you that I fucking hate him... and you conclude to ask me if I can work together with Thorn... Haven't you ever heard of improv bitch?! Just because that sheet says, "YOU: ASK THE QUESTION" and "HIM: YELL AT YOU" doesn't mean that you have to follow the shit exactly.. You can bend the rules sometimes Rachel.. as you'll soon find out..

Rachel Stevens - *Reads over her paper* Back to you Rob!

Chris Jericho - HI...THREE LITTLE THINGS CALLED THE K-CI KLAN!!!! ONE OF THE MOST DOMINANT FORCES in the EwA...me and Limp...I mean Fallen Angel have had our differences, and I have to say that we've had more experience together...working as a team...as long as we can keep our personal feelings aside then we should be victorious...Rod...don't touch me please...

Rob DiMarco - HUH? What???...Anyways, last week on Heat, Tom Stone announced that you will be having a Gauntlet Match at Break Down! Meaning, you'll be defending your title FIVE TIMES IN A ROW! Not many people could defend the Heavyweight Title TWICE in a night, and you're going to have to do it FIVE TIMES! What is your reaction to this??

Chris Jericho - I have no time to worry Rod...I think that night could be the greatest...or the worst night OF MY CAREER! I really have no feelings....except HATRED towards that idiot Tim Sperm! My hatred....as well as my comedy...will FUEL ME TO WIN....I shall be victorious, because I AM YOUR NEW F'N EWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!

Rob DiMarco - Earlier tonight, Tom Stone announced that he would be one of the 5 to step in the ring with you! Finally, you have an opportunity to get your hands on Tom Stone! And it will be legal!

Chris Jericho - I can't wait Rod...WILL YOU STOP TOUCHING ME! God...we all know your a little homoerotic...but I'm not interested for the last time! It's about time that little SPERM GETS SENT BACK TO THE SCROTUM HE CAME FROM!

Rob DiMarco - Back to you guys at ringside!!

Vic Canon - Well, it's supposed to be a Tag Team Match, but you know that's not going to happen!

Eddie Sensation - HA!! Jericho and Fallen Angel teaming up?! YEAH RIGHT!!! Thorn and Brink teaming up?! HAHAH!! YEAH RIGHT!!!!

The Informer - Hey, Thorn and Brink teamed up last week! But that's a different story... lets send it up to Chris Myers!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Tag Team Match! Introducing first... standing 6'6" and weighing in at 266 pounds, from Charlotte, North Carolina, The Brink!

["DescenT" by Fear Factory blasts through the speakers, as The Brink steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - Next, on the opposing team... accompanied to the ring by Kimberly Wolf, standing 6'2" and weighing in at 255 pounds, from Chicago, Illinois, Fallen Angel!

["Prosthetics" by Slipknot blasts through the speakers, as Kimberly Wolf and Fallen Angel step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And now, The Brink's partner... standing 6'1" and weighing in at 201 pounds, from Sacramento, California, Thorn!

["The Big Fuck You" by Primer 55 blasts through the speakers, as Thorn steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - OH NO!!! THORN AND THE BRINK ARE ALREADY DUKING IT OUT!!! THEY'RE ALL OVER EACH OTHER!!! THE REFEREE IS TRYING TO BREAK THEM UP!!!

Vic Canon - OH NO!!! FALLEN ANGEL JUST THREW THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING!!!! AND NOW BOTH FALLEN ANGEL AND THORN ARE KICKING AT THE BRINK!!!! LISTEN TO THIS CROWD, THEY'RE LETTING FALLEN ANGEL AND THORN KNOW WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT THEM!!!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAH!!! I LOVE IT!!! THESE TWO AREN'T EVEN A TEAM, AND THEY'RE TEAMING UP!!!

The Informer - The Brink is taking a beating! He needs some help, NOW!!

Vic Canon - Who's he going to get it from?? Stone? NOPE... Friends? ....WHAT FRIENDS?!?!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!!! EXACTLY!!!!

The Informer - Actually, I was thinking something like---

[Suddenly, "Walls Of Jericho" blasts through the speakers. The crowd explodes! The EWA Heavyweight Champion, "The Franchise" Chris Jericho comes running out from behind the curtain, and runs at full speed towards the ring.]

Vic Canon - LIKE CHRIS JERICHO?!?!

The Informer - YUP!!!!!!

Vic Canon - LISTEN TO THIS CROWD!!!!! THEY'RE GOING CRAZY!!!! JERICHO IS IN THE RING!! FALLEN ANGEL CHARGES AT HIM.... SPINEBUSTER!!!!

Eddie Sensation - AHHHHH!!!!

The Informer - LISTEN TO THE REACTION!!!! THORN CHARGES AT JERICHO!!! OH!! BIG CLOTHESLINE BY CHRIS JERICHO! FALLEN ANGEL IS BACK UP..... JERICHO KICKS HIM IN THE GUT, DDT!!!! BIG DDT BY CHRIS JERICHO!!!!!

Vic Canon - OH NO!!! LOOK OUT!! HERE COMES TOM STONE!!! HE'S HEADING TOWARDS THE RING!!

Eddie Sensation - NO, HE'S COMING TOWARDS US!!!

The Informer - OH NO!! STONE HAS A CHAIR!! STONE HAS A STEEL CHAIR!!!! AND HE'S GETTING INTO THE RING!!!

Vic Canon - THORN IS UP, AND HE'S GOING TOWARDS JERICHO!! STONE IS IN THE RING, AND HE'S BEHIND JERICHO!!! THE FRANCHISE DOESN'T SEE HIM THERE!!!

Eddie Sensation - WHAM!!!!!! OOH MAN!!!!!

The Informer - TOM STONE JUST NAILED JERICHO WITH THAT STEEL CHAIR!!! AND NOW FALLEN ANGEL AND THORN ARE BEATING THE HELL OUT OF JERICHO!!!

Vic Canon - LOOK AT STONE!!!! HE'S JUST DIRECTING TRAFFIC!!

Eddie Sensation - HEY, DID THIS MATCH EVEN START YET?!

The Informer - NOPE!! LOOK OUT!!!!! OOOOH!!! THE BRINK JUST NAILED THORN WITH A SPEAR!!!!! THE BRINK TOOK HIM DOWN, AND AGAIN, THEY'RE BRAWLING IN THE RING!!!

Vic Canon - BUT LOOK AT STONE!!!! NOW HE'S GOT INVOLVED IN THE BEATING!!!! STONE AND FALLEN ANGEL ARE KICKING AND PUNCHING AT JERICHO!!!

Eddie Sensation - Wait a minute... Stone is telling Fallen Angel to pick up Jericho!! He's telling him to set him up for something!!

The Informer - And of course, Fallen Angel is listening to him! Fallen Angel has Jericho on his feet! What's he going to do???

Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!!!!!! OOOOH!!! SIX FEET UNDER!!!!!! FALLEN ANGEL NAILED HIM WITH THE SIX FEET UNDER!!!!! JERICHO IS OUT!!!!

Eddie Sensation - BUT STONE IS TELLING ANGEL TO PICK UP JERICHO AGAIN!!!!!! HE'S GOING TO GIVE HIM ANOTHER ONE?!?!?!

The Informer - I HOPE NOT!!! Meanwhile, Thorn and Brink have now brawed to the outside! Thorn grabs Brink.... OOH!!! BRINK GOES CRASHING INTO THE FRONT ROW OF FANS!!!

Vic Canon - LOOK!!! IN THE RING!! LOOK!!! Stone has Jericho set up, and he's yelling in his face! Stone kicks Jericho in the stomach...... NO!!! NOOOO!!!!!! OOOOH!!!!! TOM STONE PILEDRIVER!!!! STONE NAILED JERICHO WITH HIS MOVE!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!!! YES!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!! STONE PROBABLY BROKE HIS NECK!!!!

The Informer - LOOK AT THE SMILE ON TOM STONE'S FACE!!!! THIS IS DISGUSTING!!!!!! WHAT KIND OF A SICK HUMAN BEING IS TOM STONE?!?!

Vic Canon - He's the sick human being that signs your cheques!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!! DAMN RIGHT!!!

The Informer - Wait a minute... Stone is asking for a mic!!! NOW WHAT?!?!

Vic Canon - SHHHHHH!!!!!

Tom Stone - JERICHO, WHAT DID I TELL YOU WHEN YOU FIRST CAME INTO THE EWA?? WHAT DID I TELL YOU????

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!! STONE IS PUTTING THE MIC TO JERICHO'S FACE, BUT HE'S OUT!! HE CAN'T RESPOND!!!

Tom Stone - EXACTLY!!!!! I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCK WITH ME!!!! BUT YOU DID, AND NOW LOOK AT YOU!!!! YOU HAVE A GAUNTLET MATCH TO FIGHT IN 6 DAYS, AND HERE YOU ARE IN THE RING OUT COLD!!!! SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MESS WITH THE BOSS?!?!

The Informer - TOM STONE IS A SICK MAN!!!! GET SOME HELP OUT HERE FOR CHRIS JERICHO!!!

Tom Stone - If you can recall, I promised you something tonight Jericho.... I promised to tell you another one of your opponents in that Gauntlet Match! So, I'll tell you.... But first... Here are a couple hints!

Vic Canon - Oh great!

Tom Stone - This man hasn't wrestled in about a month....

Eddie Sensation - That could mean so many people!!!

Tom Stone - This man hates you....

The Informer - Still, that leaves A LOT of people!

Tom Stone - This man has hated you since you came into the EWA....

Vic Canon - Well that narrows it down a bit!! .....NOT!

Tom Stone - And since this man hasn't wrestled in a month, he is about to have a Heavyweight Title Match with you, RIGHT NOW!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT?!?! WHO IS IT?!?!?

Tom Stone - We'll just call it a preview of what you'll be going through on Sunday!! And keep in mind... If you lose the title tonight, you will still be having your Gauntlet Match...

The Informer - HUH?? Then what's the point of it??

Tom Stone - If you so happen to lose the Heavyweight Title tonight... YOU WILL BE FIGHTING FOR YOUR CONTRACT, IN THAT GAUNTLET MATCH!!!!!

Vic Canon - OH NO!!!!!! IF JERICHO LOSES THE TITLE TONIGHT, HE HAS TO FIGHT 5 GUYS IN ORDER TO KEEP HIS CONTRACT!!!!! THIS IS BULLSHIT!!!! IT'S ALL A CONSPIRACY!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!!!! AND I LOVE IT!!!!

Tom Stone - SO.... This mystery man, who is about to step in the ring with you, is....

The Informer - .......IS???

Tom Stone - Is none other than.....

Vic Canon - WHO, DAMMIT!!!!!!!!

Tom Stone - MMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - OH MY GOD!!!!! TOM STONE VS. CHRIS JERICHO, RIGHT NOW!!!!!

The Informer - I CAN'T BELEIVE THIS!!!!! NOT ONLY DOES STONE HAVE THE ADVANTAGE OVER JERICHO RIGHT NOW, BUT HE HAS FALLEN ANGEL IN THE RING WITH HIM!

Tom Stone - REF, GET READY..... RING THE BELL!!! START THE MATCH!

Vic Canon - THERE'S THE BELL!! THIS MATCH HAS BEGUN!!!!

Eddie Sensation - COME ON STONE!!!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!

The Informer - Fallen Angel is still in the ring! And now he's picking up Jericho! He's doing all the work for Stone!

Vic Canon - HEY.... HEY LOOK!!!! JERICHO JUST THREW FALLEN ANGEL OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - OH NO!!! SUDDEN BURST OF ENERGY!!!!! TAKE HIM OUT!!!! TAKE HIM DOWN STONE!!!!!

The Informer - TOM STONE CHARGES AT JERICHO........ SPINEBUSTER BY JERICHO!!!!!! HE RUNS TO THE ROPES...... YES!!!!! YES!!!!!!! HE NAILED IT!!!!!! ASAI MOONSAULT!!!!

Vic Canon - JERICHO GOES FOR THE COVER....... 1............... 2................ 3!!!!!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

The Informer - JERICHO HAS JUST BEAT TOM STONE!!!!!

Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and STILL EWA Heavyweight Champion, "The Franchise" Chris Jericho!

Vic Canon - WOW!!!!! WHAT A WIN FOR JERICHO!!!!! AND WITH THAT WIN, HIS CONTRACT IS SAFE!!!! THIS SUNDAY, HE'LL BE FIGHTING IN A GAUNTLET MATCH AGAINST FIVE OPPONENTS FOR THE EWA HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - AND THE ONLY TWO WE KNOW, ARE FALLEN ANGEL AND TOM STONE!!!!! THE OTHER THREE WILL BE MYSTERY OPPONENTS!!!!!

The Informer - MY GOD! LISTEN TO THIS CROWD!!!! THEY'RE GOING CRAZY FOR CHRIS JERICHO!! AND LOOK AT TOM STONE!!!! HE'S SITTING IN THE RING, STUNNED!!! AND SO IS FALLEN ANGEL!!!!! THE CROWD IS LOVING IT!!!!

Vic Canon - AND SO AM I!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - JERICHO, YOU'LL PAY THIS SUNDAY!!!!! YOU'LL PAY!!!!!!!! TOM STONE ALWAYS WINS!!!!

The Informer - SHUT UP EDDIE!!!!! FANS, WE'RE OUT OF TIME!!!! THANK YOU FOR JOINING US ON TUESDAY NIGHT HEAT, AND WE'LL SEE YOU THIS SUNDAY AT BREAK DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!