The Informer - Welcome fans, to yet ANOTHER edition of Tuesday Night Heat! And is it just me, or do these cards get better and better every week? There hasn't been ONE WEEK since the EWA re-opened that one card has sucked! And I mean that!!

Vic Canon - You're right Informer! The EWA puts on a great show, WEEK AFTER WEEK! And this week, we're live from the Georgia Dome in Atlanta, Georgia! Damn, this arena smells!

Eddie Sensation - I think it's the people!

The Informer - Hahaha! Well fans, this week on Heat, we've got 7 great matches for you tonight! In our main event, we have Chris Jericho defending the EWA Heavyweight Title against Brian Nash! And thats not all!! The winner of this match gets the rights to the name "THE FRANCHISE"!! Both these men have used that all their careers, and tonight, one of them loses it!

Vic Canon - Yup! Also on the card, we have Nuno Nitrowalawitz taking on Nomad! When Nuno's around, something's always strange!

Eddie Sensation - Hahaha! Who knows what he's going to come out as next! A monkey? A woman? A sheep?

The Informer - Also on the card, we have Fallen Angel taking on Hacker! We have The Mexican Connection taking on Johnny "Triple Six" and The Ragin' Rebel!

Vic Canon - PLUS, we have an EWA North American Title "Luck of the Draw" Match between Brandon Kearse, Lex Lethal, Arthryn and the champ, 8-Ball!

Eddie Sensation - Dont forget about that Handicap Match! Iceberg Slim is going to take on BOTH of the Hells Henchmen!

The Informer - And, finally, we've got 2 interviews scheduled tonight! An "American Pride" Open Challenge, which I'm lost on, and an Interview with The Brink!

Vic Canon - And that'll be first on the card! So lets get this show on the road!

The Informer - Before we get to the Brink's Interview, we've got a little clip from earlier today to show you... Check it out, and enjoy the show!

[The EWA crowd is at a standstill. Each viewer on their feet, anticipating the appearance of The Brink.]

[A series of five pyrobombs ignite up and down the aisle as the lights dim around the arena. "Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit kicks over the PA system, as The Brink emerges from underneath the EWA Big Screen decked out in a pair of black CaFFeiNe cargo pants w/ blue stitching, and a white "Chandler 15:60" shirt on. He stands underneath the screen, as flashing images of himself fade in and out. He signals for the music to cut, as a hush falls over the fans...]

The Brink - Ladies and gentlemen... Welcome to.. NO, not HEAT IS JERICHO.. Not Tuesday Night Heat.. but welcome to another production of Tom Stone's DECEIT AND DECEPTION! Tonight I will...

Voice - Tonight you'll shut up and listen!

The Informer - Who was that?!

[The camera pans around to the entrance way, and we see Thorn walking through the curtains with a mic in hand. He is wearing grey hydraulic kik-wear pants, and a black "DIE CAJUN DIE" T-Shirt, Nick Diamante style. He walks to the side of the on-ramp and sits down and raises the mic to his lips.]

Thorn - Brink... no one gives A FUCK about your problems with Tom Stone. No one wants to hear you complain... no one wants to waste there time of day watching you bitch and moan. I hear that it's got so bad, that in the back there making jokes about how the next "Brink" action figure is going to have Bitch and Moan kung fu action. Whatever happened to the Brink that didn't care about authority, or what people thought of him, and just had fun, that just didn't give a fuck? Whatever happened to the Brink that had the baddest meanstreak that it took my dumbass to make you take the plunge to make you lose?!?! WHERE IS HE?!?!

The Brink - What happened to that Brink? What happened to the Brink everyone used to know? He died Thorn... He went out with Stussy.. There's a new Brink, and unfortunately it's one that gets shitted on left and right.. and what happened to the Thorn that actually cared about his f*cking friends? The Thorn that used to watch my back... YOU created what you see before you..

Thorn - I CREATED YOUR SHITTED ON ASS?!?! ME!?!?! FUCK THAT!! WHO THREW WHO OUT OF THE RING AT ANY MEANS NECESSARY?!?!?! WHO FUCKED OVER THERE FRIEND HERE?!?!? DON'T BE HYPOCRITICAL, YOU WANNA BLAME THIS ON ME??? FUCK THAT!! LOOK BACK A COUPLE MONTHS! YOU WANNA KNOW WHY I DON'T WATCH YOUR BACK?? YOU FUCKING WANNA KNOW WHY?? THE ANSWER IS THAT FUCKING SIMPLE! GO TO THE TAPE OF ANY MEANS NECESSARY AND LOOK AT YOUR FUCKING ACTIONS, AND THEN YOU TELL ME WHY I DON'T WATCH YOUR FUCKING BACK ANYMORE!!

The Brink - Shit happens man... Yeah, it does... and unfortunately, sometimes we have little or no control over it.. Remember back, a little further than Any Means Necessary... Go back to the days of Hostile Youth 2k. We were at our prime, and kicking asses left & right.. I turned on you for Team Old Skool.. that's true.. but why do you think I did it?

Thorn - ... Money... powe-

The Brink - I did it because I had to! You were my best friend... but as I see it, if you were REALLY my best god damn friend, you'd have understood that I did what I had to do, because I WAS FORCED TO. Tom Stone controls me, and he controls my life.. He ruined my life, and now I have nothing to lose.. I have come to realize that this is both good and bad... Good, because I no longer have to listen to that f*cking cock.. and Bad, because I have nothing else in my life.. And now that I'm not following any orders... I have come to you, to bring that beat back.. I know it's not easy, and there's a lot of shit that's happened between us.. but please, if you're going to say "I just don't give a fuck"... MEAN IT.

[Thorn stands up and gives The Brink straight in the eye from where he is standing. After a moment he throws down his mic hard on the on-ramp and starts to walk slowly to the ring.]

Eddie Sensation - Uh no, looks like business is about to pick up!

The Informer - This can't be good, two combustable elements are about to be in the ring at the same time! Brink tried to make peace, but it looks like Thorn disagree's with him.

[Thorn makes his way up the steps, and then hops over the top rope. He walks over to The Brink, gets right in his face and looks him eye to eye.]

Vic Canon - These men are about to explode, look at the intensity in there eyes!!

[Thorn takes a step back, still looking deep into The Brink's eye's, and then does something incredible.]

The Informer - OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!! THORN JUST EXTENDED HIS HAND, AND THE BRINK SHOOK IT!!! BRINK AND THORN ARE TOGETHER AGAIN!!! I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!!!

Eddie Sensation - Look at those bitches now there hugging!! PUSSYS!!!

Vic Canon - IS THIS THE RE-BIRTH OF HOSTILE YOUTH 2000?!?!?!

The Informer - FANS, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!!!!!!

Rachel Stevens - Damn! Thirty minutes before we kick off Tuesday Night Heat, and my car breaks down in front of the arena entrance! You sure there's no way you can help me out?

Security Guard - Sorry, young lady. I can't leave my post for no reason whatsoever. I could lose my job. But I can call someone to... Huh? What's that noise?

Rachel Stevens - Eh?

[Suddenly, a hulking, black 2000 Ford Excursion approaches the parking lot entrance, blasting "Whoa" by Black Rob. This monstrous vehicle belongs to none other than one of EWA's brightest young stars, ICEBERG SLIM. He peeks his head out the passenger side window.]

Iceberg Slim - YO! What's goin' on here?! Who's GEO METRO is blockin' the entrance, man?!?!?

[Stevens wisely approaches Slim's truck from the SIDE...]

Rachel Stevens - Oh, thank goodness your here, Slim. I just made it to arena a little while ago and my car stalls on me right in front of the damn entrance! You came just in time... But wait a minute.... Aren't you here a little early for your match?

Iceberg Slim - MATCH!?!? What he f**k are you talkin' about, Stevens? [Looks over to his Posse] Ya'll know what this ho is talkin' about?

Mustafa El-Ahmed - Nah, Slim.

Charlie Black - I ain't here nothin'.

"Uncle" Paulie - Nope.

"Fat" Tony - Duhh...no, boss. I don't know nothin' about your Handicap Mat...oops!

Iceberg Slim - WHAT!?!?! You fools knew I had a match and ain't tell me!?

Rachel Stevens - Yeah, Slim. You've got handicap match against the Hell's Henchmen, Anarchy and Myzary. Stone just added that match to the card the other night. What... you didn't know? HA!

Iceberg Slim - You think that's funny, dont'cha?

Rachel Stevens - heh, heh...Well, just a little. You gotta admit Slim, it is kinda funny though.

Iceberg Slim - Yeah? HAHA! I guess it is a lil' funny, na'mean? But, not as funny as THIS!

Rachel Stevens - Huh? WAIT! Slim what are you... NO! No, Slim!

Iceberg Slim - MUSTAFA! Let's give DiMark a lil' hand with his Geo Metro, you know what i'm sayin'?

[As Iceberg Slim's Ford truck revs up, Rob DiMarco realizes there nothing he can do.]

CRASSSSHHHH!!!!

[Iceberg Slims truck runs STRAIGHT THROUGH Rachel Stevens' little Geo, as if it weren't even there.]

[Suddenly, "Glaciers Of Ice" by Raekwon blasts throughout the arena. The crowd begins to raise to their feet, and look over towards the entrance way. The Posse comes out first, and they stand at top of the ramp. Then, a few seconds later, a pissed off Iceberg Slim with mic in hand comes out.]

Iceberg Slim - CUT THE MUSIC!

Eddie Sensation - Uh oh! He's pissed!

Vic Canon - That peice of shit ruined Rachel's car!

Iceberg Slim - YO Canon, shut the hell up over there! Before I send my Posse over there to shut you up!

Vic Canon - [Silent]

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAHA!!!

Iceberg Slim - Earlier this evenin', I came to this damn arena thinkin' I was comin' to get my first paycheck here from the EWA. As a matter of fact, I did....

[Reaches into his pocket and pulls out a check and holds it up to the crowd.]

The Informer - There it is... An official EWA Cheque, signed by Tom Q Stone!

Iceberg Slim - I know ain't none of ya'll 4.50 an hour suckas every seen this much zeros in a year, you know what i'm sayin'?! HAHA! But I'm not here to brag. I'm here to show you, Tom Stone, and each and every scrub @ss wrestler in EWA that Iceberg Slim ain't nobody to f**k wit', na'mean?! That's why I'm puttin' this check and every other check afterwards on the line TONIGHT!

The Informer - Maybe Slim is so pissed? Ah, I got it... Probably because Stone added this match at the LAST MINUTE, for no reason!

Iceberg Slim - That's right, muthaf**kas! Stone throws me in some bulls#!t Handicap match at the last minute and don't tell a brotha until he shows up on TNH. That's nuff' of this s#!t! I tired of the opening matches on TNH or Pay-Per-Views! I tired of looking at those f**kin' internet polls for best up and coming talent and seeing you stupid fans votin' for War Cryme and Grunt the Mexican Moochie, eh...what ever his damn name is! I guess beatin' Arthryn's and "The Superstar" Don Michaels' @ss in same week wasn't enough, na'mean!?! So tonight, Iceberg Slim shows ya'll why he's "the Baddest Man in Brooklyn" and the EWA!!!!

The Informer - Of course, I was right again...

Iceberg Slim - So Anarchy, Myzary.... We got a Handicap Match goin', but if I can't beat ya'll, I'll LEAVE THE EWA!!!!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?!?!?!

El GiGante - Nah meng you got it all wrong. Were not starting out on the bottom, Stone is just giving us a easy night.

Rob DiMarco - Why do you say that Mr. GiGante?

El GiGante - Look at the facts brotha. He probably feels bad because those two conceited, pansy lil' bitches known as the so called "IconZ of PerfectioN" dressed up as some religious monks and got an embarrassing 1, 2, 3. Well let me tell you DiMarco!

[GiGante points straight at the camera with a pissed serious expression.]

El GiGante - Let me tell you this "IconZ of PerfectioN." If you ever and I mean EVER try to pull a stunt like you did last week mangs. Well lets just say you'll always be a virgin.

Rob DiMarco - Could you just answer the question!

El GiGante - Oh yeah. As for the question chico, do you think "The MeXican CoNNection" is starting out at the bottom?

Rob DiMarco - Hmm.... I really don't know.

El GiGante - Answer my damn question!

Rob DiMarco - Well... I g-u-ess not.

El GiGante - Well there ya go. Were just gonna put a total beating onto these jobbers. I don't even see why they get TV time. There worthless pieces of guacamole.

Rob DiMarco - Are you guys suspicious? What if these two "jobbers" are the Iconz Of Perfection?? They're here tonight, and they have no match scheduled!

Moochie - Um...what? I looked on the roster. They are like...uh...jobbers and stuff. I doubt they are like...um...those people. Wait...what was I talking about again? Do I have a match?

Rob DiMarco - Over to you Rachel!

Johnny "Triple Six" - Ummm... well, no...

The Ragin' Rebel - Wait, I have something to say.... Actually, no, I dont...

Rachel Stevens - Umm, okay... Are you guys happy for your friend, Al Capone, who defeated Nick Diamante a few weeks ago?? Do you look up to him, and try to follow his winning ways?

Johnny "Triple Six" - WHAT?! CAPONE BEAT NICK?!?! WOOOOHOOOOO!!!!! THERE IS A GOD!!!!!! AL FINALLY MADE IT OUT OF THE SHITTER!!!!! HE'S GOING FOR GOLD AND GLORY!!!!!

The Ragin' Rebel - YES! FINALLY, WE HAVE A LEADER!!!! LETS GO BEAT SOME MEXICAN ASS, JUST FOR AL!!!

Rachel Stevens - Rrrrrright...

Vic Canon - Hahaha! Yup!

Eddie Sensation - The funny thing is that this match is more entertaining then some other companies main events! [Cough]AWA[Cough]

The Informer - Huh?? Who?? What the hell did you just say?? Sounded like jibberish!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Tag Team Match! Introducing first... making their EWA debut, at a total combined weight of 472 pounds, Johnny "Triple Six" & The Ragin' Rebel!

[The EWA Jobber Theme blasts through the speakers, as Johnny "Triple Six" & The Ragin' Rebel step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - And there they are! The prey... the victims... the guys I feel sorry for!

Vic Canon - Hahaha! This should be great to watch... How much of a fight do you think they'll put up, Eddie??

Eddie Sensation - They'll try their hearts out! Meaning, ABSOLUTELY NO OFFENCE will come from these jobbers!

Chris Myers - And thier opponents... accompanied to the ring by Bret Sheer and Jay, at a total combined weight of 345 pounds, Moochie "The Disgruntled Mexican" and El GiGante, The Mexican Connection!

["Rap Superstar" by Cypress Hill blasts through the speakers, as Bret Sheer, Jay and The Mexican Connection step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - And there they are! And their not wasting any time! Moochie and El GiGante just slid under the bottom rope, and they're duking it out with these two jobbers!

Vic Canon - There's the bell! This match has officially begun!

Eddie Sensation - Hey, whats the record for the shortest match in the EWA?

The Informer - I think it's something like 8 seconds!

Vic Canon - Why Eddie?

Eddie Sensation - DAMN! I was going to predict this to be the shortest match ever, but we're already at 11 seconds!

The Informer - Haha! Moochie kicks The Ragin' Rebel in the gut! OH!!! SPIKE PILEDRIVER! THE REBEL GOES DOWN!

Vic Canon - GiGante has Johnny "Triple Six".... OH!! JUMPING DDT!!! HE NAILED HIM! But he's not done with him yet! GiGante picks him back up... Moochie gets up, and climbs to the top rope.....

Eddie Sensation - OOOOOH!!!! DAMN!!

The Informer - POWERBOMB INTO A LEG DROP OFF THE TOP ROPE!!!! AND JUST LIKE THAT, THESE TWO JOBBERS ARE OUT COLD!!

Vic Canon - LISTEN TO THIS CROWD!! THEY LOVE THESE TWO!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!! I LOVE IT!!! THEY'RE KICKING THEIR ASSES, AND IT'S LEGAL!!!

The Informer - And now the Mexican Connection are setting them up for Go Goya!

Vic Canon - For who?

Eddie Sensation - HA!!

The Informer - Their move! Just watch! Johnny "Triple Six" and The Ragin' Rebel are laying side by side, in the middle of the ring! El GiGante and Moochie are climbing to the top rope, on opposite sides! THEY JUMP!

Vic Canon - OOOOH!!!! OOOOH!!! BIG SPLASH, AND A BIG LEG DROP!!! THEY GO FOR THE PIN.... 1...... 2..... 3!!!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!!! WHAT AN EMBARASSMENT!

Chris Myers - And the winners of this match, The Mexican Connection!

The Informer - DAMN! These guys look like their as motivate as hell! They're not celebrating, they're heading to the back!

Vic Canon - Lets get some help out here for these two men... I dont think they'll be on EWA TV for a LONG time...

Eddie Sensation - Hey, who's this voice on my headset?

The Informer - [Whispering] EDDIE! SHUT UP!... AHEM, Umm, I'm getting word that Rob DiMarco is backstage with the Mexican Connection! Lets send it to him!

El GiGante - Your damn right chico!

Rob DiMarco - What a devastating victory you guys just had over Johnny "Triple Six" & The Ragin' Rebel.

El GiGante - DiMarco how dumb are you. These were just a bunch of jobbers for The MeXican CoNNection to run over.

Rob DiMarco - And which you did.

El GiGante - Hell yeah! Us Mexicanos aren't gonna lose to some jobbing red neck @#$holes!

Rob DiMarco - Lets talk about last week on Heat. You and Moochie were scheduled to take on the "Mad Monks." You two had not a clue who these two were. You thought this was a definite cake walk for the MeXican CoNNection. But you two were totally fooled by The IconZ of PefectioN acting as some religious Monks.

El GiGante - Would you shut up DiMarco! Me and da Mooch are really pissed off about that little incident. I can't believe those prissy little Americanos got the best of The MeXican CoNNection. But let me tell you we will get our vengeance on those so called "IconZ of Pefection!"

Rob DiMarco - Could you please explain to us what your planning on doing?

El GiGante - The MeXican CoNNection is laying down a challenge at the Break Down PPV to "The IconZ of PerfectioN." Like I said meng we will get our revenge by taking their little precious tag titles and slapping them on the waist of the most famous tag team Mexicans, "The MeXican CoNNection!" Take it away Mooch.

Moochie - Eh Meng.I ain't got no mic skills.

El GiGante - Haha.um.please say you are kidding?

Moochie - Um.uh.yeh! I am just ah.jockin' yah man.

Rob DiMarco - So Moochie, what are your thoughts on what happened last week?

Moochie - Eh.it is kind of a blur. It went by so fast. I mean, first I hit the thing, then the next minute I am on the floor spitting and coughing. I had no clue where the fuck I was meng! I mean, I was so friggen scared! I mean, this was way worse then when that old fat lady, back in Mexico, sat on me for two hours non-stop. The bitch didn't realize that I was up her ass-crack the whole time. And I was just screaming. I passed out from oxygen loss after the first hour.

Rob DiMarco - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I am asking about your match last week with the Mad Monks you idiot!

Moochie - Oh.

El GiGante - He was just foolin' with yah DiMarco. He really meant what you were talking about. He's just a joker.

Moochie - Yeh, just pulling your leg Dee-Mark-oh! Um.I don't remember last week that much. However, what I do remember is that I was about to get in and that monster with a cloak on rolled up GiGante and got the one-two-three. Which pissed me off. I freaking had to skip out on the party that was going on down in Miami for it.

Rob DiMarco - You do know who those 'monsters' were right?

Moochie - Yeh! They were those damned mid-

El GiGante - Of course he knows they were the Iconz of Perfection!

Moochie - Right! Those damned Iconz Of Perfection Assholes! Boy, I'd like to get my hands on them.

El GiGante - Which is why we challenged them at the Pay Per View.

Moochie - Oh? OH YEAH! Haha!

Rob DiMarco - Moochie, do you have any clue what is going on? Or just went on, oh say, five minutes ago?

Moochie - Five minutes ago? Hmmm.we beat up people?

Rob DiMarco - Was that a question or a statement?

Moochie - I dunno.you tell me.

[Moochie and DiMarco have a stare down.....]

El GiGante - Uh.Moochie. Weren't you going to talk about how we are going to kick the asses of Iconz Of Perfect at No Fear?

Moochie - Oh! Iconz of Perfection.come Break Dance-

El GiGante - Breakdown!

Moochie - Er.Come Breakdown.your ass is grass! Or something!

Iceberg Slim - "The Baddest Man in Brooklyn," DiMark. Get it right, na'mean?

Rob DiMarco - Sorry...but like I was saying, are you that confident in your skills to put your career on the line tonight against BOTH of the Hells Henchmen by yourself!?

Iceberg Slim - I got the skillz that pay the bills, D. But it's taking too damn long for EWA to figure that out, na'mean? In my debut, I kick Arthryn @ss and smack up Don Michaels on national TV. Then the next week, I come out and what do i do? I kick Arthryn @ss...

Rob DiMarco - Again...

Iceberg Slim - Yeah, again. Then that brings us to last week, where I challenge those Michaels and Arthryn to a Falls Count Anywhere Match, na'mean? And guess what? I give those two suckas a beatdown like they was my STEPKIDS....

Rob DiMarco - Again...

Iceberg Slim - That's right...AGAIN, DiMark. So then I walk up to the arena earlier tonight thinkin' I got a day off, and Stone decides to try treat a brotha like a runaway slave and put my @ss to work! Well I say, F**k you, Stone! I'm don't dance for noooobody! You know what i'm sayin'? I'm your top young talent in this league and if kickin' @ss ain't 'nuff to prove it...I gotta start kickin' @sses OUT of this fed to prove it!!

Rob DiMarco - Last week, Don Michaels surprised you during your match and you two shared the victory... Do you think Michaels will be here tonight for yet another surprise??

Iceberg Slim - DON MICHAELS?!?! He's still in this fed? Didn't I embarrass him 'nuff the past few weeks!? I'd hate to disappoint ya, DiMark....but like i said in my interview last week, there is no Game 7 for Don Michaels! The series is over, na'mean?! I'm out!

Rob DiMarco - Lets send it to the ring!

Vic Canon - And that wont be too easy for him! As much as Hells Henchmen have been inactive, they're still two trained wrestlers! ANY two men could take down one! It's a simple numbers game!

Eddie Sensation - Well, despite all that BULLSHIT you just said, I'm going to predict that Iceberg Slim wipes the mat with both those jobbers!

The Informer - Easier said than done, Eddie!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Handicap Match! Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by The Posse, standing 6'5" and weighing in at 250 pounds, from Brooklyn, New York, Iceberg Slim!

["Glaciers of Ice" by Raekwon blasts through the speakers, as The Posse and Iceberg Slim step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - And here comes Iceberg Slim, with The Posse! And those 4 guys might be the only reason Iceberg stands a chance in this match! We've seen them get involved in his matches many times... What's stopping them from doing it again tonight?

Vic Canon - Absolutely nothing. You're right Informer, these guys are a bunch of THUGS!

Eddie Sensation - GOD.... GOD DAMMIT!! DAMN RUN INS!! THOSE PAPPARAZI GUYS JUST JUMPED OUT FROM BEHIND US!! HE RUINED MY DAMN HAIR!!!!

The Informer - THE PAPPARAZI AND DON MICHAELS HAVE HIT THE RING!! OOHH!!! ICEBERG SLIM JUST GOT NAILED BY A BASEBALL BAT, WHICH ONE OF THE PAPPARAZI BROUGHT WITH THEM!! NOW THE POSSE AND PAPPARAZI ARE BRAWLING IT OUT ON THE OUTSIDE!

Vic Canon - CHECK IT OUT!! HERE COME HELLS HENCHMEN! THEY DONT WANT A RING ENTRANCE! THEY'RE COMING FOR ICEBERG SLIM!!

Eddie Sensation - Wait a minute... Don Michaels has a mic!

Don Michaels - Hey Myzary, Anarchy... Stand aside when a true $uperstar is in the ring!

[Anarchy and Myzary glare at Michaels, who then flashes them a disarming smile.]

The Informer - OOOH!!! OH MY GOD!!! MICHAELS JUST NAILED MYZARY WITH A $UPERKICK!

Vic Canon - ANARCHY CHARGES AT DON MICHAELS..... OOOH!!! THE AUTOGRAPH!!! HELLS HENCHMEN ARE OUT COLD!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!! AND YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT ICEBERG SLIM CAN'T BEAT THESE TWO?!?!

Don Michaels - Next time I'm in the ring, you'd better remember your lines. Or you'll get more of the same... [Michaels looks into the crowd.] Once again, you my loyal and ever growing fan-club is going to be blessed by a few precious minutes of Intelligent Entertainment. As I've sat back this week, nursing a certain head injury, I watched as IceBerg Slim booked a handicap match with two stage-hands known as Myzary and Anarchy. Now ask yourselves people, what would a handicap match be without, A WHEEL-CHAIR.

[Michaels points to the top of the entrance ramp, where The Paparazzi are watching over a dazed Iceberg Slim.]

The Informer - Wait a minute... Check out the Paparazzi! They've left The Posse out cold on the outside floor, and they've dragging Iceberg Slim up the entrance ramp! This all happened during Michaels' interview! I didn't even see it happen!

Vic Canon - What the hell? Look! There's a wheel chair up there!

Eddie Sensation - HAHA!! THE PAPARAZZI ARE TIEING HIM TO THE WHEEL CHAIR!!

The Informer - What the hell?!?! They've tied Iceberg Slim into the wheel chair, and now they're waiting for instructions from Don Michaels!

[Michaels raises his arm in the air, and snaps his fingers. The Paparazzi push the wheelchair down the ramp. The wheelchair zips down the ramp at blazing speed and crashes into the ring apron in a sickening crash.]

Vic Canon - OH MY GOD!!!!! THIS IS SICK!!!!!!! THEY COULD KILL HIM!!!

Eddie Sensation - AAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS GUY!!!!! DID YOU SEE HOW FAST HE WAS GOING?!?!

The Informer - EDDIE! IT'S NOT FUNNY! THAT COULD HAVE KILLED HIM!

Don Michaels - Slim, I warned you. I told you not to push me, not to test the limitations of my "good will". But, you pushed and pushed and pushed. The beating at my debut, I could look past, but this "golden concussion" trash your talking is going to be ended. Everything that happens to you from now on, is your own fault!

Vic Canon - OH PLEASE!! AND NOW DON MICHAELS IS STOMPING AWAY AT THE HELLS HENCHMEN!!!

Eddie Sensation - AHHH!! LOOK OUT!!! THE POSSE ARE BACK UP!!!

The Informer - THE POSSE ARE UP ON THEIR FEET, AND THEY'VE JUST ATTACKED THE PAPARAZZI FROM BEHIND!

Vic Canon - THE PAPARAZZI ARE SLOWLY GOING DOWN!! TWO OF THEM ARE OUT COLD!! NO, THREE NOW!! LOOK AT MICHAELS!! HE SEE'S WHATS HAPPENING!!

Eddie Sensation - What the... HA!!! MICHAELS IS LEAVING!

The Informer - WHAT A WUSS!!! DON MICHAELS IS LEAVING THE RING, AND EXITTING THE ARENA THROUGH THE CROWD!!

"LoCo" Lex Lethal - Comments...yes a comment would be nice wouldn't it? Well my comment would have to go towards that pathetic fool named Brandon Kearse. The time has come where I can finally prove to that bastard that I AM THE BETTER MAN!

Rachel Stevens - What about the other two men? Athryn and 8-Ball...they do pose a threat you know.

"LoCo" Lex Lethal - Athur and Cue-Ball? They don't pose a treat...not to me! Don't forget I AM "THE LoCo OnE" around here. I don't play by the rules any more! And a Extreme Rules match? There is no threat in this match...just having me in the ring with those wanks will be the only threat.

Rachel Stevens - Can you give us a preview on what number you drew?

"LoCo" Lex Lethal - Actually I drew num...hey! What the hell you tryin ta pull here? Do I look like some crazy lunatic to you?

Rachel Stevens - In some way....yes! Oh well, over to you Rob.

Arthryn - I'm going to win it. When this night is over, I'm going to be representing North America, to remove the stains out of its reputation. From this day on, Arthryn is going to be known as the man that put North America over. Ha ha ha.

Rob DiMarco - So, what number did you draw??

Arthryn - I got my number right in between my legs, so how about you suck on this and find out, DiMarco?

Rob DiMarco - DAMMIT! 0 for 2! Lets send it to ringside!

Vic Canon - And this match really favours the other three contestants! They can get a maximum of 12 minutes in the ring without 8-Ball, to pin ANYONE and win his North American Title! Imagine that! 8-Ball could lose his title without getting into the ring!

Eddie Sensation - HA! That would suck, for him!

The Informer - Indeed. We're about to find out who drew number one! Lets send it to Chris Myers!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is an EWA North American Title "Luck of the Draw" Extreme Rules Match! Introducing first, the competitor who drew NUMBER ONE! ...standing 6'10" and weighing in at 312 pounds, from San Juan, Puerto Rico, Arthryn!

["Hangman Jury" by Aerosmith blasts through the speakers, as Arthryn steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - Oh my! Arthryn is first! So far, so good! He's probably got the best chance at winning this thing!

Vic Canon - How do you figure? By the time all 4 guys get into the ring, he'll be dead tired!

Eddie Sensation - Hey, he's got a point!

The Informer - Who said 4 guy HAVE TO enter the ring? Numnuts...

Chris Myers - Next, the man who drew NUMBER TWO! ...accompanied to the ring by Mark Shadow, standing 6'5" and weighing in at 273 pounds, from Staten Island, New York, Lex Lethal!

["Bow Down" by Westside Connection blasts through the speakers, as Mark Shadow and Lex Lethal step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - There you have it! Lex Lethal and Arthryn are going to start this match off, One on One!

Vic Canon - This should be good.. There's the bell! And the two lock up! Lethal pushes Arthryn into the corner... the ref is calling for a break!

Eddie Sensation - What the?! A clean break?!

The Informer - Ha! A clean break! We dont see that happen too often! ...And the two lock up again!

Vic Canon - This time, Arthryn pushes Lethal back into a corner! The ref is asking for a clean break again! Will he get one?

Eddie Sensation - ...DAMMIT! THEY DID IT AGAIN!

The Informer - ANOTHER clean break! Wow... this is pretty scary! They're actually obeying the rules!

Vic Canon - HA! But it's EXTREME RULES! They're alowed to do whatever they want!

Eddie Sensation - Damn! Vic has had a few good points tonight! What did you do? Try weed before Heat came on the air?!

The Informer - Hahaha! They lock up AGAIN! This time, Arthryn grabs Lethal in a Headlock! Wait a minute.... WHAT THE HELL?!

Vic Canon - That was the bell! The ref called for the bell! And now he's got the North American Title in his hand!

Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and NEW EWA North American Champion, Arthryn!

Eddie Sensation - HUH?!?!

The Informer - WHAT THE HELL... THE REF IS SAYING THAT LETHAL TAPPED OUT!! WAIT A MINUTE! LOOK AT LEX LETHAL! HE'S FAKE CRYING!

Vic Canon - What the?? What's going on here?!

Eddie Sensation - SHHHH!! Lethal has a mic!

"LoCo" Lex Lethal - You know Arthur...we got a lot of hatred between us... and now that you got that strap, you know that I'll be heading your way.

Arthryn - Yeah, so?

"LoCo" Lex Lethal - You see... we both have a killer instinct and if we combined and became partners... we'd take over...

Arthryn - Damn...you've gone apeshit! But that doesn't sound like a bad idea at all!

[Lethal extends his hand to Athryn. Athryn looks at Lethal's hand and finally reaches out and shakes it.]

The Informer - WHAT!? LETHAL AND ATHRYN? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?! WAS THAT ALL A SCAM?!?!

Vic Canon - It seems like it! It was all a big plot to get the title away from 8-Ball!! He didn't even have a chance to get into the ring!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!!! And now Lethal and Arthryn are leaving the ring, side by side!

The Informer - Lex Lethal is now strapping the North American Title around Arthryn's waist! These two just screwed 8-Ball out of the North American Title!

Vic Canon - Yup!

Eddie Sensation - AND I LOVE IT!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!

Hacker - Tonight is the night that I kick Fallen Angel's ass and send him straight to hell. Fallen Angel, if it wasn't for me and your dirty canuck friend, I would be the EWA World champion right now. Fallen Angel is gonna pay a price tonight and it won't be in Canadian Dollars.

Rob DiMarco - Do you think Stone will be at ringside? We all know he doesn't like you AT ALL, and we know how he and Fallen Angel are buddy-buddy... Would you be prepared for a Tom Stone attack if it should happen?

Hacker - Do I think that Stone will be at ringside? Yeah and I think the sun will rise in the east tommorrow. Stone and Angel are buddy-buddy, you never heard of when Angel picks up the soap in the shower with Tom? I'm prepared for some Canuck that thinks he is the shit to attack me and if it happens, I'm gonna beat his ass like the the New Jersey Devils beat the Maple Leafs asses.

Rob DiMarco - Over to you, Rachel!

Vic Canon - Exactly. Last week Tom Stone and Fallen Angel delivered an ass whopping to Hacker and Chris Jericho! Mind you, they had weapons.

Eddie Sensation - The only weapons Hacker is going to use tonight are his fists! Fallen Angel better have a few tricks up his sleeve!

The Informer - Haha! This should be interesting...

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first... standing 7' and weighing in at 331 pounds, from Detroit, Michigan, Hacker!

["Counterfeit" by Limp Bizkit blasts through the speakers, as Hacker steps out from behind the curtain. Hacker walks out in a T-Shirt with "Forgive me Uncle Tom" on the front, "because I'm gonna kick your ass" on the back and with a Canadian flag.]

The Informer - WOW... Look at the face on this guy!

Vic Canon - He's pretty pissed!

Eddie Sensation - Hey, if Hacker wins tonight, does that mean he gets to fight Chris Jericho at the Pay Per View?

The Informer - No Eddie, this isn't a #1 Contender Match....

Chris Myers - And his opponent... accompanied to the ring by Kimberly Wolf, standing 6'2" and weighing in at 255 pounds, from Chicago, Illinois, Fallen Angel!

["Prosthetics" by Slipknot blasts through the speakers, as Kimberly Wolf and Fallen Angel step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - And here comes Fallen Angel! He realizes the danger that's in the ring... He's buying some time and walking around the ring with Kimberly!

Vic Canon - There's the bell! But Fallen Angel is just ignoring it! He doesn't care about the match! He's in fear of his life!

Eddie Sensation - If Fallen Angel doesn't get in the ring soon, he'll be counted out!

The Informer - And here comes Hacker! Hacker is chasing Fallen Angel around on the outside! Fallen Angel slides into the ring!

Vic Canon - And Hacker follows him in! Fallen Angel kicks Hacker in the back and in the head several times, but Hacker gets right up!

Eddie Sensation - Uh oh! RUN BOY, RUN!

The Informer - OH! HACKER WRAPS HIS ARM AROUND FALLEN ANGEL'S THROAT..... CHOKESLAM!!! MY GOD!! DID YOU SEE THE RING SHAKE?!?!

Vic Canon - I SURE DID! LISTEN TO THIS CROWD!! THEY'RE LOVING THIS!

Eddie Sensation - OH NO! HACKER HAS HIM UP AGAIN!

The Informer - Hacker lifts Fallen Angel in a suplex! NO!! MOTOR CITY POWERBOMB!!! HE NAILED IT!!! FALLEN ANGEL IS OUT COLD!!

Vic Canon - WAIT A MINUTE! LOOK!! HERE COMES TOM STONE!!

Eddie Sensation - YES!!! STONE TO THE RESCUE!! HE'S GOT A HOCKEY STICK IN HIS HAND!!

The Informer - Wait a minute... Look at Fallen Angel! He's causing a distraction! He knows Stone is coming down here!

Vic Canon - HOW?! HE'S LAYING OUT ON THE MAT!!

Eddie Sensation - Vic, Informer over here is trying to imply that this was a plan!

The Informer - Stone is in the ring! Hacker turns around... OH!!! HOCKEY STICK TO THE NUTS!! STONE SWINGS, OHHHH!! HE JUST BROKE THE HOCKEY STICK OVER HACKER'S HEAD!!! HACKER IS OUT!!!

Vic Canon - And look! Fallen Angel is now up! He's walking over to the body of Hacker!

Eddie Sensation - AND HE'S GOING FOR THE COVER!!!

The Informer - The referee counts! 1.... 2..... 3!!!! OH NO!! FALLEN ANGEL JUST BEAT HACKER, THANKS TO TOM STONE AND HIS DAMNED CANADIAN HOCKEY STICK!

Vic Canon - HAHAHAHA!!!

Chris Myers - And the winner of this match... Fallen Angel!

Eddie Sensation - But look!! Stone and Fallen Angel aren't done yet! Stone is getting into the ring!

The Informer - Oh great... Tom Stone is walking over to the body of Hacker! Now he's yelling all kinds of stuff in Hackers face!

Vic Canon - OOOH!!! TOM STONE JUST SLAPPED HACKER IN THE FACE!! AND NOW HE'S BANGING HIS HEAD ON THE MAT!!! STONE IS CRAZY!!!

Eddie Sensation - Look! Fallen Angel is trying to pull Stone off of Hacker! And he can't even do it!! DAMN! STONE IS CRAZY!

The Informer - DAMMIT! FINALLY, Stone is off of Hacker! Tom Stone is a lunatic! We need to get him some help!

Vic Canon - Fallen Angel better drag him backstage! If Hacker gets up anytime soon, Stone's a dead man!

Eddie Sensation - You can say that again!

WaR CrYmE - Watch it fags!

Thorn - What was that?!

Lorenzo Hayes - What the hell was all that huggy kissy stuff about?? Have you guys decided to change teams and be with Divine???

The Brink - We're not fucking fags. We'll knock you the fuck out if we have to!!

Lorenzo Hayes - You guys have gone soft, it wouldn't even be a challenge!

The Brink - Well, why don't Thorn and I show you and WaR CrYmE how soft we are??

WaR CrYmE - What the hell does that mean?

Thorn - He means, put your titles on the line against us... TONIGHT!! We'll show you soft, motherfucker!!

Lorenzo Hayes - You're on, bitches!

[The Iconz of Perfection push through Thorn and Brink and stare each other down for a moment. They walk off and Thorn and The Brink keep on walking the same direction they were going.]

Thorn - We'll see who's soft....

The Informer - OH MY GOD!!!! THE TAG TEAM TITLES ARE ON THE LINE TONIGHT!!!

Vic Canon - THORN AND THE BRINK VERSUS THE ICONZ OF PERFECTION!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

The Informer - WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK FANS!

The Informer - Well guys, this next match has to be one of the reasons why tonights card is so great! Who knows what the heck is going to happen, or what Nuno is going to come out as next!

Vic Canon - Yeah, first he was "FreakShow", then a Reverend, and now back to a "FreakShow". But, this week, he's been known as just Nuno Nitrowalawitz! No nicknames, no funny stuff, just plain old Nuno!

Eddie Sensation - But I have a feeling that's going to change tonight!

The Informer - Maybe Eddie... We're about to find out if you're right!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Non-Title Match! Introducing first... standing 6'2" and weighing in at 256 pounds, from New York, New York, the EWA International Champion, Nomad!

["Time Bomb" by Godsmack blasts through the speakers, as the EWA International Champion, Nomad steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And his opponent, standing at 5'11" and weighing in at 204 pounds, from Poland, but currently residing in HOT-DAMN Beach, California�. HOT DAMN GIGOLO�. NUNO NITROWALAWITZ!

["Just A Gigolo" by David Lee Roth hits the speakers�]

The Informer - Hot damn what??

Vic Canon - He's� A GIGOLO??

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAHA!!! OH MY GOD!!! LOOK AT HIM!!! HE'S GOT CHICKS WITH HIM!!!

[Nuno steps out from behind the apron with 5 beautiful women. He's wearing a long, feathered robe and looks like a high-class rich dude�]

The Informer - I speculated about this yesterday in The Spoiler! What the hell has happened to Nuno??

Vic Canon - All of a sudden, he's Mr. Popularity! But look at Nomad in the ring! He doesn't look to impressed!

Eddie Sensation - Shut up man! HOT DAMN has a mic! He's gonna talk!

[Nitrowalawitz smiles and raises one hand, signifying that he wants the audience to be quiet�]

"Hot Damn Gigolo" Nuno Nitrowalawitz - HOT DAMN, IT LOOKS GOOD IN HERE TONIGHT!

[As the commentators sit in dead, stunned silence, Nuno smiles and begins to speak again�]

"Hot Damn Gigolo" Nuno Nitrowalawitz - Nomad, World� feast your eyes on the new trend for the new millennium! Yes, I am�.. oh, so smooth! What I am is a gift to this planet! A precious packaged gift to all the women around me! Face it� Nuno Nitrowalawitz, from this day on, is nothing more than a� HOT DAMN GIGOLO!

The Informer - Ok, who powerbombed this guy backstage? He's obviously been attacked, and he's got no idea that everyone is laughing at him right now!

Eddie Sensation - NO! NO! HE'S JUST A GIGOLO!

"Hot Damn Gigolo" Nuno Nitrowalawitz - Before I step into the ring tonight and transform that Gothic punk into just another crappy B movie, allow me� [Smiles] to perform for you, these wonderful fans� this evening, before your very eyes� in an OH, SO SMOOOOTH fashion! Ladies, my hat� my cane�

Vic Canon - What's he up to now? Has this guy lost it or what?

The Informer - Nomad thinks so! He's smiling and trying not to laugh!

[2 of the lovely women hand Nuno a top hat and dancing cane�]

Eddie Sensation - HOT DAMN IS GONNA HOT DANCE!!! HAHAHA!!! YES!!!!

"Hot Damn Gigolo" Nuno Nitrowalawitz - And this, if for all of the people who love me so� just because, as the title states� I'm just a Gigalo! HIT THE MUSIC!

["Just A Gigolo" by David Lee Roth begins to play over the speakers and Nuno, with the hat on his head, and dancing cane and mic in his hands begins to tap dance, and begins to sing�]

The Informer - What the... you're not serious!

"Hot Damn Gigolo" Nuno Nitrowalawitz - I'm just a gigolo, and everywhere I go� people know the part I'm playing. Paid for every dance, sell each romance� ohhh, what they're saying! There will come a day, where youth will pass away�. What'll they say about me? When the end comes I'll know I was just a gigolo� life goes on, without me, cause�. IIIIIIIII, AIN'T GOT NO������..BODY! THANK YOU VERY MUCH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! YES� YOU'RE RIGHT! I AM SO SMOOTH! HOT�� DAMN�� SMOOOOOOOOTH!

The Informer - OHH!! AND NOMAD ATTACKS NUNO FROM BEHIND!

Vic Canon - There's the bell! This match is underway!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA! GIGOLO!!! HAHAHAH!!!

The Informer - Right... "FreakShow" now has a new name! "Hot Damn Gigolo" Nuno Nitrowalawitz is what he calls himself..

Vic Canon - OH! And he just got planted with a DDT in the middle of the ring! It doesn't look like Nomad finds this funny! He's handing Nuno his ass on a silver platter!

Eddie Sensation - HA HA!! He isn't dancing and signing now!

The Informer - Nomad has Nuno on his feet..... OOOOOH!!! THE WANDERING!!! HE PLANTED HIM!!! WHAT A VICIOUS DDT BY NOMAD!!!!

Vic Canon - And we all know what that means! This could be "Hot Damn Gigolo's" JOURNEY'S END!

Eddie Sensation - HAHA!! GET HIM NOMAD!

The Informer - Nomad sets up Nuno on the top rope! Nomad climbs up, and positions Nuno... He sets him up.....

Vic Canon - Nomad goes for it!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT!!!! .....AHHHH!!! NOOO!!!

The Informer - OOOH!! OH MY!!! NUNO REVERSED IT!! HE GOT OUT OF THE DDT, AND TURNED IT INTO A SPLASH ONTO NOMAD, WHICH KNOCKED THE WIND OUT OF HIM!! NUNO HAS THE COVER!!!

Vic Canon - ONE..... TWO..... THREE!!!!! MY GOD!! GIGOLO HAS WON!!!

Eddie Sensation - NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Chris Myers - And the winner of this match, "Hot Damn Gigolo" Nuno Nitrowalawitz!

The Informer - OH MAN!!! WHAT AN UPSET!! NUNO IS GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HERE, WITH HIS GIRLS!! AND NOMAD IS CLOSE BEHIND!!!

Tom Stone - AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! MY CARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

[Tom Stone runs over to Divine, and looks at the car. He just stands there, stunned. He begins to slowly talk....]

Tom Stone - YOU..... SONS..... OF...... F*CKING BITCHES! YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?? YOU LIKE THIS?? WELL HAVE FUN F*CKING CLEANING IT! BOTH OF YOU HAVE UNTIL NEXT WEEK TO MAKE THIS CAR SPOTLESS, OR ELSE.....

Divine - Or else what, Tommy Boy?? I like it when you're mad!!

Tom Stone - OR ELSE YOU'RE F*CKING FIRED, AGAIN!!!!!

Lorenzo Hayes - First of all, wheres Rachel?

Rob DiMarco - She refused to work with you, and asked me to interview you and CrYmE.

Lorenzo Hayes - Are you sure she is not out eating carpet?

Rob DiMarco - I'm pretty sure she isn't out being a lesbian seeing how I just saw her! Anyway can you answer my question? I really want to hear what you have to say!

Lorenzo Hayes - I'm sure you do, or maybe your just scared that I might bring up your sexuality like I did to Rachel! But don't worry Rob I don't even have to ask you if you are gay, because the answer is evident seeing how you have your dick stuck up Stone's ass.

Rob DiMarco - Now that, Lorenzo, was uncalled for. Now I can see why Rachel hates interviewing you! So could you please get on with the interview!

Lorenzo Hayes - I guess so, so anyway to your idiotic question! Rob I have come to the conclusion that you were dropped on your head numerous times when you were a baby, because your insight is just stupid! How the hell can the IconZ of PerfectioN be nervous against a team of has-beens. Thorn and Brink belong in the same place as Don Michaels; THE OLD HOME! These guys are way past their prime and don't belong in a wrestling ring, and tonight the underfeated EWA Tag Team Champions The IconZ of PerfectioN are going to show the world why they are the best tag team around, and we will do it PiCtUrePerFectLy without even breaking a sweat!

Rob DiMarco - [Cough]Concieted[Cough] Also, earlier in the night the Mexican Connection challenged you to a match at the next Pay Per View, Break Down! Normally, I'd ask you guys if you accept, but I'll be honest.... I dont think you guys are walking out of here with the Tag Team Titles tonight!

[The camera pans over to WaR CrYmE who has his head cocked and is rolling his hands together. His eyes have a glaze on them and he continually mumbles to himself as DiMarco taps him on the shoudler.]

Rob DiMarco - Umm.... WaR CrYmE.... excuse me... hello?

WaR CrYmE - ..............mwahaha....

Rob DiMarco - WaR CrYmE are you okay?? Do you want help?

[WaR CrYmE closes his eyes tight and clenches his fist together extremely hard, his face turns red as DiMarco inches closer to see what in gods name he's doing.]

Rob DiMarco - I think I'm going to get....

[WaR CrYmE opens his eyes and flings his hands at DiMarco who jumps back, nearly having a heart attack.]

WaR CrYmE - BOOGIE WOOGIE WOO!!!!!

Rob DiMarco - You asshole!!!

WaR CrYmE - [Smacks DiMarco] Back talking bitch..... mwahaha... he's coming... he'll be back... dont worry.

Rob DiMarco - Who's coming back? What in the name of christ are you talking about?? And whats with the evil laughter.... I'm confused?

WaR CrYmE - DiMarco.....mwahaha...you think were going to lose, you dont seem to believe a word we say. But come later on tonight, you want have to believe, you will see first hand that awesome and true power of The IconZ Of PerfectioN. You doubt our skills, you doubt our abilities and yet you demand answers....well bitch i demand an apology for those harsh words you spoke about us. Apologize for saying that were going to lose...

Rob DiMarco - [Timidly]...no..

WaR CrYmE - [Screaming] GOD DAMN YOU!!! LISTEN HERE YOU F*CKING PIECE OF TRASH, YOU APOLOGIZE OR I'LL YANK YOUR SACK OFF LIKE A PAPER TOWEL!!!! NOW F*CKING APOLOGIZE BITCH!!!!

Rob DiMarco - Im... Im... SORRY! [Starts crying]

WaR CrYmE - Your damn right your sorry, and if you ever and i mean ever talk blasphemy about The IconZ like that again, youll regret it. Because next time DiMarco, Sorry wont cut it and youll recieve a beating courtesy of "The IconZ Of PerfectioN". Were not going to lose, granted our opponents are talented and experienced people....but the fact that were undefeated, the fact that were the Tag Team Champs and the fact that we, unlike Brink and Thorn, can coencide as a team gives us the edge. Not a small one but a big one, and tonight we'll capotalize on their "Non-ability" to work together...and once again The IconZ will win...and we will remain the undefeated EWA Tag Team Champs. Now get out of our way you little five cent crack whore, or ill sick divine on your gay ass.

Rob DiMarco - .....Rachel....

Thorn - IT'S DAMN EXCITING BITCH, NOW GET THE FUCK OUTTA OUR WAY!! WE GOT TITLES TO WIN!!!

Rachel Stevens - The Iconz Of Perfection seem to be taking you guys lightly... They're in for one hell of a surprise!

The Brink - Your damn right skank, now move!

[ Thorn and The Brink push over Racheal Stevens, and are in such a rush that they don't even noticed, or care. She gets up, and stomps her foot on the ground in disgust.]

Rachel Stevens - UGH!! ...Back to you guys at ringside!

The Informer - The story behind this match is very strange, and exciting. It has many twists and turns, and gets your adreneline pumping!

Vic Canon - Perfectly said! Thorn and The Brink started a bitter and hateful feud at Any Means Necessary. At No Fear, they almost killed each other! And last week on Heat, Thorn LET THE BRINK PIN HIM!

Eddie Sensation - And earlier tonight, we saw Thorn and The Brink make peace! Now, in a few minutes, they'll be fighting side-by-side for the EWA Tag Team Titles!

The Informer - For the first time in over 3 months, these guys are on the same page! They're back to their old ways, and are enjoying life more as a team!

Vic Canon - Tonight, their opponents are the Iconz Of Perfection... The UNDEFEATED EWA Tag Team Champions! This match should be GREAT!

Eddie Sensation - Yup! Lets get it started!

The Informer - Chris Myers is waiting in the ring... lets send it to him!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is an EWA Tag Team Title Match! Introducing first, the challengers... at a total combined weight of 467 pounds, the team of Thorn The Brink!

["DescenT" by Fear Factory blasts through the speakers, as The Brink and Thorn step out from behind the curtain, side by side. They slowly walk to the ring to a huge ovation!]

The Informer - DAMN! LISTEN TO THIS REACTION!

Vic Canon - The fans are loving these two as a team already, and they've only been together for about 1 hour!

Eddie Sensation - This is freaky guys! At the beginning of the show, these guys were getting boo'ed and were going for each other's throats! Now, they're a team, and the fans LOVE them!

Chris Myers - And their opponents... at a total combined weight of 512 pounds, they are the EWA Tag Team Champions... Lorenzo Hayes and WaR CrYmE, The Iconz Of Perfection!

["Raw" by Staind blasts through the speakers, as the EWA Tag Team Champions, The Iconz of Perfection step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - Wow! Can you feel the tension in the air?! LISTEN TO THESE CHANTS!

Vic Canon - This is pretty weird guys! I never thought I'd see these two together again!

Eddie Sensation - THERES THE BELL!! ROUND ONE, FIGHT!! HAHA!!

The Informer - Take it easy Eddie... OH NO! WE'VE GOT AN ALL OUT BRAWL!! LORENZO HAYES AND THORN ARE DUKING IT OUT, AND BRINK AND WAR CRYME ARE PAIRED UP ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE RING!

Vic Canon - Thorn whips Hayes to the ropes.... SPINNING HEEL KICK! OH!! BRINK FLATTENS WAR CRYME WITH A CLOTHESLINE!

Eddie Sensation - Thorn and Brink both pick up their respective man... They both set them both up... OH!! OH!! OH GOD!!!!!!!

The Informer - DOUBLE HOSTILE DDT!!!!! LISTEN TO THE CROWD!! THEY'RE FULLY BEHIND THE BRINK AND THORN!

Vic Canon - Brink sets up WaR CrYmE... WHAM! INDIGO FLOW DDT! AND WAR CRYME IS OUT COLD JUST LIKE THAT!

Eddie Sensation - Thorn grabs Lorenzo Hayes... OH! CRADLE SUPLEX!

The Informer - WOW! THORN AND THE BRINK ARE GREAT AS A TEAM! Imagine what Hostile Youth 2K was like over a year ago!

Vic Canon - Damn! That must have been great!

Eddie Sensation - Hey, check it out! Thorn has Lorenzo Hayes set up on the top rope! And Brink has WaR CrYmE set up AGAIN!

The Informer - Thorn jumps! OH!!! OH GOD!!! CORKSCREW HURACONRANNA! WHAM! INVERTED DDT BY THE BRINK!

Vic Canon - UH OH!! IT'S TIME FOR THE END!! THE BRINK IS SETTING UP WAR CRYME FOR THE DOWNWARD PLUNGE!! AND THORN IS ROLLING LORENZO HAYES OUT OF THE RING!! THIS MAY BE IT FOR THE ICONZ OF PERFECTION!!!

Eddie Sensation - DAMN!! WAR CRYME IS FULLY SET UP!! THE BRINK IS GETTING INTO POSITION!

The Informer - Check out the outside! Lorenzo Hayes just threw Thorn into the ringpost! OH!! NOW THE STEEL STEPS!

Vic Canon - HERE GOES THE BRINK!! LOOK OUT!!!!! OOOOH!!! OH NO!! NO!!!! WAR CRYME PULLED THE REFEREE IN FRONT OF HIM, AND THE REF GOT NAILED!! WAR CRYME USED THE REF AS A SHIELD!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT!! HAYES HAS A CHAIR!! AND HE'S IN THE RING!

The Informer - WHAM!!! OH GOD!!! HE NAILED THE BRINK WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!! AND HE'S NOT STOPPING!! HE'S CONTINUOUSLY NAILING THE BRINK WITH THE CHAIR!

Vic Canon - THORN IS UP!!! THORN IS IN THE RING!! AND HE JUST GRABBED THE CHAIR FROM LORENZO HAYES! HAYES DIDN'T SEE THORN GET INTO THE RING!

Eddie Sensation - WHACK!!! OH!!! THORN NAILED HAYES WITH THE CHAIR!!!! WHAM!!!! OH MAN!!! AND NOW WAR CRYME TASTES THE STEEL!!

The Informer - And now Thorn is helping The Brink to his feet! LISTEN TO THIS CAPACITY CROWD!!

Vic Canon - WHAT THE HELL?!?! OH NO!!! NOO!!!! THORN JUST NAILED THE BRINK IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!!! AND NOW HE'S SETTING UP THE BRINK FOR THE CROWN OF THORNS!!!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT THE?!?! IT WAS A SETUP?!?! ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!?!

The Informer - THORN IS ON THE TOP ROPE!!! LOOK OUT!!!!! OOOOOOOH!!!! CROWN OF THORNS!!!! THE BRINK IS OUT!!!

Vic Canon - AND LOOK AT THORN!! HE'S LAUGHING, AND WALKING OUT OF HERE!! THIS IS SICK!! HOW COULD HE TURN ON HIS BEST FRIEND LIKE THAT, AGAIN?!?!?!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK!! THE REF IS UP!! AND NOW WAR CRYME IS IN THE RING!! WAR CRYME IS GOING FOR THE COVER!!!

The Informer - NO!! NO!!! ONE..... TWO...... THREE!!!! OH MY LORD!!! WAR CRYME JUST PINNED THE BRINK TO RETAIN THE TAG TEAM TITLES!!

Chris Myers - The winners of this match, and STILL EWA Tag Team Champions, The Iconz of Perfection!

Vic Canon - THE ICONZ OF PERFECTION HAVE GRABBED THEIR TITLES, AND THEY'RE GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HERE! THE BRINK IS OUT COLD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING! HE STILL DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!! I LOVE IT!!! IT WAS ALL A BIG SCAM!! THORN IS A GENIUS!!

The Informer - MY GOD, FANS, WE'VE GOT TO TAKE A SHORT BREAK! DON'T GO AWAY!! JERICHO vs. NASH IS NEXT!!!

Security Guard - Lets go boys... You're free to go...

The Hustler - Tom?

Tom Stone - Yeah, I bailed both your asses out. Tuesday Night Heat is more important then this shit. You have work to do. Get to the arena, and dont fuck around. I'm out of here... I've wasted enough time on your two clowns today.

[Stone and the Security Guard leave, with both cell doors open. Wildman and Hustler both dart for their doors, and immidiatly begin brawling. Several minutes later, Security arrives and throws them both back into their cells...]

Vic Canon - That's right. Both of these men are well rounded athletes, and this should be a good one.

Eddie Sensation - YEAH!

The Informer - Now, let's head dow.........

[The announcers' mics go dead. And at the same time the lights in the arena, the EWA video wall, and the live feed from the arena, EVERYTHING goes black.]

[And from a distant place in the middle of the live feed, a logo, slow and methodical, makes its way to the forefront of the nation's televisions, until it covers the entire screen, and the low hum of high frequency rings in the background.]

[Oh yes, it has begun...]

[We then cut to a feed from what looks like a press conference. A row of several banquet tables set up in the foreground with an "EWA" backdrop behind them. At the center of the screen, at the podeum, lies EWA PR rep, Johnny Bones. He is flanked on his left by Bob Costas of NBC Sports, Dean Rock of the Associated Press, and media mogul Donald Trump. On his right lie EWA Owner Tom Stone, EWA Superstar Clayton Chandler, and our keynote speaker, boxing legend Muhammad Ali. We begin...]

Johnny Bones - I thank you all for gathering here today. I guess there's really no need for buildup, lets just dive to the point.

Johnny Bones - As we all know, the 4th of July is rapidly approaching us. It is a time for our nation to sit back and recollect ourselves about what our country and our fore-fathers mean to us. It is a time to cherish your time with your family, pop firecrackers, have bar-b-ques, and genuinly have fun celebrating this nation.

[Johnny flips to the next page of his notes, as Costas sips some of his water and Ali shakes..]

Johnny Bones - Well, my friends, the EWA felt it was our duty to help this great nation celebrate this, the 4th of July 2000. We went through extensive studies and several important meetings to determine what could be done to help benefit this nation. We cracked every book, we asked every possible man...

Johnny Bones - ...and we have found our answer. Ladies and gentlemen, we bring you here today to announce the beginning of a project 4 months in the making. The beginning of...

[Johnny looks at the crowd for that "added effect".]

Johnny Bones - ..."American Pride"...

[Johnny turns to his next page of notes.]

Johnny Bones - So what exactly IS "American Pride"? To help us with that, and to enlighten us all on his past and his future, please welcome, a TRUE American hero, Mr. Muhammad Ali.

[The press, the people at the tables, everyone stands and applauds Ali. An American hero in every sense of the word. He gets up from his chair, and gingerly steps towards the podeum. Bones removes himself from that position and heads off the stage. Ali takes a card out of his pocket (barely), and begins to talk...]

Muhammad Ali - (shaking, Ali has Parkinson's desease, and its not something to laugh at) Thank...you, Mistuh Bones. Ladies and...(shake)...gentlemen, I uhgree with e...(shake)...verything Mistuh Bones said.

[The former boxing legends flips to the next notecard and begins to read his speech again.]

Muhammad Ali - America is the greatest cuntreh on dis ur...(shake)...th. And the EWA es goin' to celebrate dis gr...(shake)...eat occasion by throwin' dis "American Pride".

Muhammad Ali - Ovah the years, my mind may not be...(shake)...BE what it used to, so...

Muhammad Ali - To explain to da peopul whut Amer...(shake)...ican Pride es. Please welcome Mr. Clayton Chan...(shake)...dler...

[Muhammad steps down from the podeum and shakingly heads towards his seat. Chandler steps up and makes his way to the podeum, in front of this national audience. The mic is his...]

Chandler - American Pride. What is American Pride? I consider it....

[Chandler runs through all his notes, and then violently throws his notebook into the row of cameramen and reporters. He pulls the mic off its stand and pushes the podeum into the first row of mediafolk. He puts the mic to his face...]

Chandler - YOU KNOW WHAT "AMERICAN PRIDE" IS?!?!?! ITS A FUCKING OXYMORON. THAT'S WHAT THE FUCK IT IS. "AMERICA" IS, HELL, AN OXYMORON ONTO ITSELF!!! "AMERICA" SUCKS DICK!!!

[EWA Owner Tom Stone shouts into his microphone and stands up..]

Tom Stone - I knew this would happen, SOMEBODY GET HIM!! HE'S SHOOTING, HE'S SHOOTING!!!! SOMEBODY GET HIS ASS!!!

Chandler - SHUT UP, Stone. SHUT THE FUCK UP, AND SIT YOUR LITTLE ASS DOWN. THIS IS NOW MY FUCKING PRESS CONFERENCE! And EVERYONE is going to listen to what I have to say. Oh yeah, I'll tell you what "American Pride" is...IN DUE TIME. MUHAMMAD ALI, GET YOUR OLD SHAKEY ASS OVER HERE, YA FUCKING N*****!!!

["Holy Shit!" is heard simultaniously in households across the nation. Chandler has never said anything like that, or acted this way. This is a changed man. We cut back to the arena quickly to see the reaction of the fans in attendance. There are no cheers or jeers; there is a hush. The fans are watching patiently, and paying very, VERY close attention.]

Chandler - ALI, I'M TELLING YOU TO GET THE FUCK OVER TO ME RIGHT NOW. COME HERE, ISLAMIC FUCK!

[Ali, taking offense to Chandler's words, leaves his seat and slowly, and shakingly, begins to walk towards Chandler with a fire in his eyes not seen since the days of Joe Frazier. Ali yanks the microphone away from Chandler...]

Muhammad Ali - I take offense to your words, mistuh Chandler.

[Ali hands the mic back to Chandler, and Chandler turns his back and slowly chuckles.]

Chandler - You take offense, eh? Offense to what, the truth? Offense to something you know to be right but only do not want to here? Offense to a deeper Self? Or is it....

Chandler - Ali, is it...

Chandler - OFFENSE TO MY FUCKING HAND DOWN YOUR FUCKING THROAT!!!!!!!!!

[Chandler throws down his mic and nails Ali in the temple with a vicious left cross. Ali falls into the sea of reporters, not even shaking now, and Chandler picks his mic up. Everyone around the world is in a state of astonishment. Who is this man?]

Chandler - YOU ARE NOTHING BUT ONE OF THEM, ALI. A LEMMING, A FOLLOWER, AND A CONFORMER. YOU LOVE AMERICA...HEY...AMERICA!!

Chandler - Do you want to know what "American Pride" is? DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK "AMERICAN PRIDE" REALLY THE FUCK IS?!?!

[Tom Stone gets yanks the mic from his stand and rises from his seat.]

Tom Stone - CHANDLER, STOP THIS SHIT NOW OR YOU'RE FIRED!!!

Chandler - THEN FIRE ME!!! FIRE MY ASS, TOM!!! ITS NOT LIKE YOU'VE NEVER DONE IT BEFORE!!! GIVE ME THE PINKSLIP, KICK ME OUT THE DOOR, DISCIPLINE ME, FUCKING FIRE ME, TOM STONE!!!!! ...But you won't...

[Stone throws his mic down, pulls out his cell phone, and Storms off. Ooooooooooooh shit.]

Chandler - HA!! THAT'S WHAT I FUCKING THOUGHT!!! NOW, MAY...I...CONTINUE...

[This is not what the EWA had in mind for "American Pride"...This is not the great holiday mini-angle Stone had expected. This is one man taking a stand, and getting hated for it. This is one man doing the mother of all heel turns. THIS is only the beginning.]

Chandler - "AMERICAN PRIDE" is now under MY CONTROL, and I'm gonna call the fucking shots. "American Pride" is going to be something entirely different. "American Pride" is going to unite the country to a commmon cause. "American Pride" is going to be what, deep down, you've all wanted to see.

Chandler - For the next four weeks: Three Heats and one Pay-Per-View, we are going to have the "American Pride" Open Challenge. Each week I am going to be at a certain place, giving full details of my whereabouts in major US publications, and challenge anyone. ANYONE. If you do not like what I am doing to your stupid fucking country, your shithole, then come to that spot and do something about it. Show me your "American Pride", and I'll show you my fucking foot in your ass.

Chandler - At the pay-per-view I will do it differently. I will be in the arena that night, and I'm not going to challenge just anyone. I'm going to challenge the best fucking men in the locker room that night. ANY SINGLE FUCKING ONE OF 'EM. You think you have the balls? Get in touch with Stone and step up. But SOMEBODY better show up, SOMEBODY BETTER HAVE THE "AMERICAN PRIDE" THAT THIS COUNTRY HAVE FORCE FED YOU because, if you don't....

Chandler - There will be no America to be proud of. See this flag?

[Chandler pulls an American Flag out of his shirt and holds it up to the reporters.]

Chandler - If no one has the "Pride" that night...

Chandler - I'M BURNING THIS FUCKING THING!!!!

[Chandler throws down his microphone, and storms off the stage, amist a swarm of questions from the media. As if this was not meant to air (it wasn't), we cut back to the arena, with the announcers and fans completely speechless. Slowly, a chant begins in the crowd...nothing new for a Chandler promo. Only, well, here for yourself....]

Fans - PRIDE...PRIDE...PRIDE...PRIDE....

The Informer - Can we go to commercial? Okay, fans...umm...we'll be right back.

Vic Canon - That...fucking...asshole...

Chris Jericho - Kevin who? OH BRIAN NASH!!! Whatever Rob! I'm not giving this guy any respect. Hacker almost beat me?? Last time I checked the tape, I beat his sorry butt, fair and square!

Rob DiMarco - Hey how come you didn't call me Rod??? You know...how you usually make fun of people....to get a laugh?

Chris Jericho - It's very simple you see...unfotunately there are many other "wrestlers' or whiners, whatever you prefer to call them, who believe there is no place for my comed in wrestling! In fact, they believe I as well as many others go a bit too far at times, and as a result would like us to stop....so from now on...I will not only be a FIGHTING CHAMPION...I will also be A SERIOUS CHAMPION!

Rob DiMarco - Last week, Tom Stone made your match a Tag Team Match, and he and Fallen Angel cleaned the mat with you and Hacker!! If it wasn't for Stone, you might have lost that match! Do you think Stone will be down here tonight? And if he does come out, will he save your ass again??

Chris Jericho - You picked the perfect time Rob, to mock me...because as of now...I am not the comedian I once was...SO I WON'T BEAT YOU...I WON'T MAKE FUN OF YOU...Insteased I will shake your hand and thank you for your opinion...

[Jericho extends his hand and Rob DiMarco shakes it. Jericho then turns around with a serious look and walks off the set...]

Rob DiMarco - Ummm... Back to you guys... ?

The Informer - So, guys, this is it... The BIG World Title Match! Chris Jericho against Brain Nash! Franchise vs. Franchise! The winner of this match will be the ONLY Franchise in the EWA, and will be EWA Heavyweight Champion! That's a lot to accomplish in one night.. don't you think?

Vic Canon - I sure do! And Jericho's in for a huge challenge here! Brian Nash is known for his dominance in e-feds... He's been World Champion in several different organizations! Tonight, the EWA might be added to his list!

Eddie Sensation - Oh please! This is exactly what you said about Hacker last week, and look at him! Who's the Heavyweight Champ? JERICHO. And that's all that matters! Tonight is just another match, and another win for Jericho!

The Informer - You sound almost as cocky as him... Lets send it to Chris Myers, so we can get this thing started!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall! It is for the EWA Heavyweight Championship, and for the rights to the name "THE FRANCHISE"!! Introducing first... standing 6' and weighing in at 240 pounds, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, "The Franchise" Brian Nash!

["Meet The Creeper" Rob Zombie blasts through the speakers, as "The Franchise" Brian Nash steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... accompanied to the ring by Mandi, standing 5'11" and weighing in at 230 pounds, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, the EWA Heavyweight Champion, "The Franchise" Chris Jericho!

["Walls Of Jericho" blasts through the speakers, as Mandi and the EWA Heavyweight Champion "The Franchise" Chris Jericho step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - SWEET GOD ALMIGHTY! LISTEN TO THIS OVATION!! THE FANS IN ATLANTA, GEORGIA LOVE CHRIS JERICHO!!

Vic Canon - Is that something to be proud of?? HAHA!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAHA!! Stupid hicks... I'm surprised we haven't seen any of those psycho WCW fans try to get into the ring! Damn losers...

The Informer - And there's the bell! Brain Nash charges at Jericho! Jericho ducks a clothesline, turns around, and PLANTS Brian Nash in the mat with a Spinebuster! But Nash quickly gets up! OH! And Jericho nails him with a Drop Kick! Nash goes back down!

Vic Canon - Nash slowly gets to his feet... Jericho grabs him... OH!! BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! HE NAILED HIM! And now Jericho is running to the ropes! LOOK OUT!!! ASAI MOONSAULT!!! HE NAILED HIM!! Jericho goes for the cover!!

Eddie Sensation - THIS COULD BE IT!!! HE PINNED FALLEN ANGEL WITH THAT MOVE TO WIN THE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE!!!!!

The Informer - ONE.......... TWO.......

Vic Canon - OH!!! NASH GETS HIS SHOULDER UP JUST IN TIME! But Jericho is up! And he's PISSED!!

Eddie Sensation - UH OH!! JERICHO HAS THE LEGS OF BRIAN NASH!!! IF HE LOCKS THIS ON, NASH IS DONE!

The Informer - JERICHO HAS HIM HALF TURNED!!! HE'S ALMOST THERE...... ALMOST..... YYYYYYYES!!! JERICHO HAS IT LOCKED ON!!! CHRIS JERICHO HAS THE WALLS OF JERICHO LOCKED ON!!!

Vic Canon - WILL NASH TAP?!?! WILL NASH GIVE UP?!?!

Eddie Sensation - IF HE DOES, HE BETTER KISS HIS NICKNAME GOODBYE!!!!!!!

The Informer - AND HE TAPS!!! BRIAN NASH IS TAPPING OUT!!! CHRIS JERICHO HAS MADE BRIAN NASH TAP OUT TO THE WALLS OF JERICHO!!! WHAT A VICTORY FOR JERICHO!!

Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and STILL EWA Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho!

Vic Canon - Wait a minute! Jericho isn't done with him yet! Jericho has Nash on his feet! "The Franchise" takes a running start, and THROWS NASH OVER THE TOP ROPE!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!!! DID YOU SEE HOW HE LANDED?!? RIGHT ON HIS HEAD!!! HAHAHA!!! I LOVE IT!!!

[Suddenly, a voice is heard...]

Voice - HOLD UP A SECOND!

The Informer - Huh? Who the hell is that?

[Chris Jericho's old bodyguard, BIG PAPPY comes out onto the entrance ramp. He begins to speak...]

Big Pappy - HEY YO JERICHO! IF IT WASN'T FOR ME, YOU WOULDN'T BE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! I TAUGHT YOU EVERYTHING YOU KNOW!!! I DEMAND A TITLE SHOT... RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!!

Chris Jericho - HEY! PAPPY!! THERE IS NO ROOM FOR COMEDY IN THIS SPORT! You want a title shot? You can have one! BUT ONLY FOR TWO REASONS! Number 1, because Brian Nash was a big JOKE... and Number 2, because this is exactly what you said when I won the Extreme Title! And when I gave you your Extreme Title shot, you were a bigger joke then this guy!

Big Pappy - YOU'RE A FUNNY GUY JERICHO!---

Chris Jericho - NO! THERE IS NO ROOM FOR COMEDY IN THIS SPORT!!! WHAT DONT YOU UNDERSTAND?!?!

Big Pappy - HAHAHA!!!

Chris Jericho - STOP LAUGHING!!! THIS ISN'T FUNNY!!! WRESTLING IS NOT FUNNY!!! IT IS NOT MEANT TO BE FUNNY!!!

[Pappy drops the mic, and runs towards the ring...]

Vic Canon - Well, I guess we've got ourselves ANOTHER match!

Eddie Sensation - WOW!! Jericho REALLY IS a fighting Champion!

The Informer - Pappy is in the ring! He charges at Jericho! Jericho kicks him in the gut....... OH!!!! POWERBOMB!!!

Vic Canon - NO!!! DOUBLE POWERBOMB!!! Jericho releases Pappy, and runs to the ropes! He jumps...... OH!!!

Eddie Sensation - OH GOD!!!!! ASAI MOONSAULT!!!! HE NAILED IT!!!!

The Informer - JERICHO GOES FOR THE COVER.... 1......... 2........ 3!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - HAHAHA!!! JERICHO JUST DEFENDED HIS TITLE TWICE IN A ROW, AND WON BOTH MATCHES IN UNDER A MINUTE!

Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and STILL EWA Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAH!!! PAPPY GOT HIS ASS KICKED!!! NOW THAT WAS FUNNY!

The Informer - Geeze! Jericho already defended his title TWICE! What else could happen?!

[Suddenly, the EWA Theme blasts through the speakers, and Tom Stone steps out from behind the curtain.]

Vic Canon - OH GREAT!! I WAS JUST GOING TO SAY... FOR ONCE, A JERICHO MATCH WITHOUT TOM STONE! BUT NOOOOOO!!!

Eddie Sensation - YES!!! STONE HAS A MIC!! GOD WILL SPEAK!!

The Informer - Oh great, here comes some more stipulations and matches for Jericho to dodge!

[He stops in the middle of the entrance aisle, and begins to speak.]

Tom Stone - I've had one HELL of a night... I dont have enough energy to waste on you, Jericho, so I'm going to get straight to the point...

Vic Canon - THANK GOD! For once he won't speak for hours, and bore the hell out of the crowd!

Tom Stone - Canon, your ass is fired. See you in my office after Heat.

[The camera switches to a shot of Vic Canon's face. He is STUNNED.]

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Informer - Sorry, Vic......

Tom Stone - Vic, I'm just joking... Shut the f*ck up when I speak!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! DID YOU SEE THE LOOK ON HIS FACE?!?!

The Informer - Eddie, shut up.

Tom Stone - Jericho, it seems like you enjoy fighting two or three times in one night! And by the look on your face, it seems like you have FUN doing this! So, why not let you continue what you love doing most? Why not give you a GAUNTLET MATCH???

The Informer - WHAT?!?! OH COME ON!!! LOOK AT JERICHO'S FACE!!! HE'S LIVID!!

Tom Stone - Whats wrong Chris?? You had so much fun tonight! I'm being a nice guy, and letting you do it all over again! But, THIS TIME, IT WILL BE AT THE PAY PER VIEW!! AT BREAK DOWN, YOU WILL HAVE A GAUNTLET MATCH!

Eddie Sensation - AHHHH!!! THAT'S INSANE!!!

The Informer - A GAUNTLET MATCH AT A PAY PER VIEW?!?! OH MY GOD!!! HOW MUCH WORSE COULD IT GET?!?!

Tom Stone - You're probably wondering... Who will your opponents be? Well, dont worry about that Chris... I will have GREAT PLEASURE in picking who your opponents will be that night!

Vic Canon - THIS IS INSANITY!!! TOM STONE IS PICKING HIS OPPONENTS?!?! MY GOD!! HE COULD PUT HIM UP AGAINST SERIAL THRYLLA!! OR CHANDLER!!! OR NOMAD, OR THE BRINK, OR THORN!!! WHO KNOWS!!!

Tom Stone - So now, I leave you with one question left unanswered... When will you find out who your opponents are?? Well, whenever I feel like it! And to show you what kind of challenge you'll be facing, I'm signing ONE MORE MATCH for you, which you will have RIGHT NOW! Here is your opponent! I hope you enjoy this match as much as you did the last two!

Eddie Sensation - HUH?!?!

The Informer - WHO IS IT?!?! WHO IS THE LAST OPPONENT??

Vic Canon - .........HURRY UP DAMMIT!!!!!! I'M GETTING NERVOUS!!!

[Suddenly, "Murder" by UGK blasts through the speakers, as the EX-EWA North American Champion, "Tha Icon" 8-Ball steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And his final opponent.... standing 6'9" and weighing in at 302 pounds, from Chicago, Illinois, "Tha Icon" 8-Ball!

Eddie Sensation - 8-BALL?!?!

The Informer - OH MY GOD!!! 8-BALL IS HIS LAST OPPONENT HERE TONIGHT?!?!

Vic Canon - MY GOD!! THESE TWO HATE EACH OTHER!!!! 8-BALL IS RUNNING TOWARDS THE RING!!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK! I THINK STONE IS GOING TO WATCH THIS MATCH!! HE'S STANDING AT RINGSIDE!

The Informer - Oh great! Just keep stacking the odds against Jericho!

Vic Canon - 8-Ball slides into the ring! Jericho ducks a clothesline! He turns around... SPINNING HEEL KICK!!! 8-Ball goes down!

Eddie Sensation - "Tha Icon" gets back to his feet! Jericho kicks him in the gut... WHAM!!!!!! WHAM!!!!!!!! WHAM!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!! TRIPLE POWERBOMB!!!!!!! TRIPLE POWERBOMB!!!!!!!!

The Informer - MY GOD!!!!!!! THAT'S AN EXTRAORDINARY AMOUNT OF POWER FROM CHRIS JERICHO!!! HE JUST POWERBOMBED HIM THREE TIMES!!!!!!

Vic Canon - AND NOW JERICHO IS LOCKING ON THE WALLS OF JERICHO!!!!! YES!!!!!! HE'S GOT IT LOCKED ON!!!!! LOOK AT STONE!!!! HE'S GOING CRAZY!!!! HE'S GOT A MIC!!!!!!!

Tom Stone - 8-BALL, YOU PEICE OF SHIT!!!!! YOU GIVE UP, AND YOUR ASS IS FIRED!!! YOU HEAR ME?!?! HERE IT IS IN EBONICS!!!!!!! YO ASS IS FIRED IF YO ASS SUBMITS!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - HAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

The Informer - OH MY GOD!!!!! TOM STONE IS A PSYCHO!!!!!! HE IS CRAZY!!!!!

Vic Canon - BUT IT'S WORKING!!!!!!! 8-BALL IS HANGING IN THERE!!!!! HE'S NOT GIVING UP!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - AND JERICHO IS ADDING MORE PRESSURE!!!!!! LOOK AT THE ARCH OF 8-BALL'S BACK!!!!! HE'S GOING TO SNAP IN HALF!!!!!

Tom Stone - HANG IN THERE YOU DUMB F*CK!!!!!! HANG IN THERE!!!!!!!!!

The Informer - IT LOOKS LIKE THERE'S TEARS COMING FROM THE EYES OF 8-BALL!!!! HE'S IN AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF PAIN!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - OH NO!!!! 8-BALL TAPPED!!! 8-BALL JUST GAVE UP!!!!! THERE'S THE BELL!!!

Chris Myers - And the winner of this match, and STILL EWA Heavyweight Champion, "The Franchise" Chris Jericho!

Eddie Sensation - OH NO!!!!!! 8-BALL HAS BEEN FIRED!!!!!! HE'S GONE FROM THE EWA!!!!!!

The Informer - BUT JERICHO ISN'T RELEASING THE HOLD!!!!! HE'S GOING TO BREAK 8-BALL'S BACK!!!!!! AND LOOK AT STONE!!!! HE'S ENJOYING THIS!!!! TOM STONE HATES 8-BALL!! HE WANTS HIM OUT OF THE EWA!!!!!!

Vic Canon - 8-BALL HAS PASSED OUT FROM THE PAIN!!! WE NEED SOME HELP DOWN HERE!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - JERICHO IS PSYCHO!!!! I'VE NEVER SEEN HIM LIKE THIS!!!!! HE WANTS TO BREAK 8-BALL'S BACK!!!!!

The Informer - AND HE MIGHT DO IT!!!!! FANS, WE'RE OUT OF TIME!!!! THANK YOU FOR JOINING US THIS WEEK ON TUESDAY NIGHT HEAT!!! BE SURE TO JOIN US AGAIN NEXT WEEK!!! GOODNIGHT FANS!!!!!!!