The Informer - THE COLUMBUS CIVIC CENTER IS SOLD OUT! AND THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS ARE HERE TONIGHT FOR THE HOTTEST SHOW GOING TODAY, THE EWA'S TUESDAY NIGHT HEAT!!

Vic Canon - Welcome, fans, to Tuedsay Night Heat! Tonight, we've got a very promising card! There will be 3 debuts tonight, the EWA Heavyweight Title will be on the line, and we've got 4 other GREAT occurances!

Eddie Sensation - Remember! Tonight is Nick Diamante's FINAL EWA Interview! That should be great!

The Informer - Right! You've gotta be thinking... Will Chandler be here tonight?? And exactly what is Nick planning on saying??

Vic Canon - The 3 debuting wrestlers tonight are all promising and talented people! We've got Brandon Kearse, Brian Nash and The Mad Monks ALL debuting tonight!

Eddie Sensation - HA!! THE MAD MONKS!!! I CAN'T WAIT!

The Informer - Also, Chris Jericho will begin his trend of defending his title weekly by taking on Hacker here tonight!! Will Stone be at ringside for that one?? And if so, what does he have planned for Jericho THIS week?!

Vic Canon - Other matches tonight include a Triangle Match between Iceberg Slim, Don Michaels and Arthryn! Also, Thorn and The Brink will be getting it on in ONE ON ONE action!

Eddie Sensation - Who? Those WORTHLESS losers?!

The Informer - Yeah, right... But, the most contraversial match on tonight's card HAS TO BE the Bedroom Brawl!

Vic Canon - Damn right! Divine and Tito will take on Mike Basulto and Ronny Garbage!

Eddie Sensation - Bedroom brawl?! HUH?!

The Informer - Hahaha! We'll have details on it later Eddie... Let's start the show!

The Informer - Check it out guys! A limo has just pulled up... let's see who's in it! [The limo driver walks to the back door of the limo, and opens it. Out from the limo comes...]

Vic Canon - It's the EWA Tag Team Champions! The Iconz Of Perfection!

Eddie Sensation - What the hell are they doing here?! They don't have any matches scheduled!

The Informer - Who knows Eddie! Maybe they're just here to watch The Mexican Connection!

Vic Canon - Or maybe even the new team, The Mad Monks!

Eddie Sensation - Yeah, right...

Arthryn - DiMarco, you don't learn do you? Honestly, I couldn't give a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich what they have done. Tonight, it all changes. Tonight, it's my night. I'm going to even the score, and kick 2 monkey-asses from pillar to post. And if you don't get it now, DiMarco, that will show the whole world living breathing proof of how evolution can indeed go backwards.

Rob DiMarco - You've fallen to the hands of Don Michaels a few times now... Has it gotten to the point where he's predictable, and that you know what he's going to do next?

Arthryn - There are only 2 predictable things tonight in the EWA. Tom Stone will screw everyone he doesn't like, and how I plan on kicking two asses so badly, both Iceberg Slim and Don Michaels will feel just as if someone had just shaved their asses with a lawn mower. And if it hurts, go crying to pre-school, 'cause I DONT GIVE A FUCK!

Rob DiMarco - Over to you Rachel!

Iceberg Slim - Golden Concussion!? HA!HA!HA! Aww, man! You real funny, Stevens! HA!HA!HA! Think you real funny, dont'cha?

Rachel Stevens - Hehe..hehe...

Iceberg Slim - Paulie!! Yo, hand me that solid gold chair for a minute, na'mean?

Rachel Stevens - WAIT! I WAS JUST--

Iceberg Slim - Yeah, that's what I thought. Respect that ho! Now start earnin' your $5.50 an hour and ask your damn questions!

Rachel Stevens - Sorry, Slim. Awright...tonight you have a Triangle Match with both Arthryn, and Don Michaels! There's a lot of anger between you three... Are you guys just going to EXPLODE tonight?!

Iceberg Slim - This is it, you silly broad! Mark this day on your calenders. Iceberg Slim's first big match here in EWA. Triangle Match, No Interfernce, FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE! That means I can kick Arthryn's @ss from toilet bowl to toilet bowl and get the 1...2...3..on the BATHROOM FLOOR! You know what i'm sayin'?! Or I can walk right up to Michaels and...and ....

Rachel Stevens - Uh, Slim? SLIM?! Where are you going? Well, folks, it seems that Iceberg Slim has just stormed out of our interview. I guess I'll hand it over to you, Rob!

Don Michaels - Rob, how many time do I have to--

Rob DiMarco - AHHHH!! LOOK OUT!!

The Informer - OH NO!!! ICEBERG SLIM JUST SNOOK UP BEHIND MICHAELS, AND NAILED HIM WITH HIS OWN SOLID GOLD STEEL CHIAR!! MICHAELS IS DOWN AND OUT!!

Vic Canon - BUT ICEBERG SLIM ISN'T DONE!! HE'S CONTINUING TO KICK AND PUNCH "THE $UPERSTAR"!!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!! LOOK AT DIMARCO!!! HE'S SHITTING HIS PANTS!!! HE MIGHT CRY!!! HAHAHAHA!!

The Informer - AND NOW ICEBERG JUST RIPPED THE MICROPHONE OUT OF DIMARCO'S HANDS!

Iceberg Slim - Who's got the MIDAS TOUCH now, b!#ch?! Yo, DiMark!

Rob DiMarco - UHHH... UMMM, me?

Iceberg Slim - Yeah, you! Get your cameras ready for this shot.

Vic Canon - OH NO!! ICEBERG SLIM IS PULLING DON MICHAELS TO HIS FEET!! ICEBERG HAS THAT SOLID GOLD STEEL CHAIR AGAIN!!!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT!!! WHAM!!!! OH MAN!!! DID YOU HEAR THAT SMACK?!

The Informer - SURE DID!! And now Iceberg Slim is leaving the locker room, and heading towards the ring!

[The camera switches to a shot of the entrance aisle...]

Vic Canon - Well, I guess Iceberg is on his way out here... He should be coming through those curtains any second!

Eddie Sensation - Wait a minute... What's that noise??

The Informer - Noise?? What noise? Wait a minute... I hear it now!! It sounds like an engine!

Vic Canon - An engine? What the hell?? Is there a car coming out here?

Eddie Sensation - I have no clue! But the sound is coming closer and closer! We're about to find out!

The Informer - Wait... There's Arthryn! AND HE'S PUSHING A LAWNMOWER TO THE RING!!

Vic Canon - WHAT THE HELL?! A lawnmower?? What the heck is he going to do with that?!

Eddie Sensation - Where the hell does Stone get these wrestlers from?? Most of these guys are either confused, and think that the fans actually love them, and the other half are just psycho!

The Informer - HA! You better hope that none of the guys in the back heard you! Well folks, Arthryn is pushing a lawnmower to the ring for some reason.... And now he's turning it around, and setting it up for something!

Vic Canon - He's got the lawnmower aligned with the entrance ramp! I guess he's going to try and nail the first guy that comes out of the curtain with the lawnmower!

Eddie Sensation - HA!!! WHAT AN IDIOT!! HAHAHA!!!!

The Informer - AND THERE'S ICEBERG SLIM! He's got that Gold chair in his hand, and he's coming towards the ring!

Vic Canon - Arthryn see's him, and now he's charging at him!

Eddie Sensation - Look at the look on Slim's face!! He's confused!! This idiot is pushing a lawnmower towards him!

The Informer - Uh oh!! Now Iceberg is charging at Arthryn! These two are running at full speed towards each other!! They're going to collide any second!

Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!! WHAM!!! OH GOD!!! ICEBERG SLIM JUMPED OVER THE LAWNMOWER, AND NAILED ARTHRYN IN THE HEAD WITH THAT GOLD CHAIR!! ARTHRYN JUST COLAPSED TO THE GROUND!

Eddie Sensation - Thank god! Someone is coming out here to shut off that lawnmower, and get rid of it! That noise is annoying!

The Informer - Yup... Sounds like you most of the time!

Eddie Sensation - HEY!

Vic Canon - HAHAHA!!

The Informer - And there's the bell! This match is underway!

Vic Canon - But Don Michaels isn't out here! They're going to have this match without him??

Eddie Sensation - I guess!

The Informer - Iceberg Slim has Arthryn set up... LOOK OUT! OH!! SLIM JUST WHIPPED HIM INTO THE RINGPOST!

Vic Canon - That'll dislocate your shoulder for sure! I guess Iceberg is looking for some revenge from the Pay Per View!

Eddie Sensation - And so far, he's getting it! Now he has Arthryn lined up again!

The Informer - Iceberg Slim whips him! OH!! RIGHT INTO THE GUARDRAIL!

Vic Canon - Arthyrn might not last much longer! He's taking one hell of a beating!

Eddie Sensation - Uh oh! Iceberg is giving the sign to the crowd!! He's going to try and end this one early!

The Informer - Arthryn is slowly getting to his feet! Iceberg sets up.... LOOK OUT!! OH!! STRAIGHT LEG JUMPING SIDEKICK, NOW KNOWN AS THE DIAMOND'S EDGE!! ARTHRYN WENT DOWN, HARD!

Vic Canon - And now Iceberg is calling for his big move, The Chill Factor!

Eddie Sensation - HEY, LOOK!! THERE'S DON MICHAELS!! HE'S COMING TO THE RING THROUGH THE CROWD!

The Informer - Slim doesn't see him coming! Slim has Arthryn on his feet! Don Michaels is climing to the top rope!

Vic Canon - Iceberg Slim lifts him! OOOH!!! LOOK OUT!!

Eddie Sensation - AHHH!!!

The Informer - MY GOD!! ICERBERG SLIM NAILED ARTHRYN WITH THE CHILL FACTOR, AND JUST AS HE GOT UP HE GOT LEVELED WITH DON MICHAELS' DIRECTORS CUT!

Vic Canon - I THINK DON MICHAELS HIT HIS HEAD ON THE GROUND! HE MAY HAVE A CONCUSSION!!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK!! ICEBERG AND MICHAELS BOTH HAVE 1 ARM OVER ARTHRYN!! AND THE REF IS COUNTING THE PIN!!

The Informer - 1.... 2...... 3!!! But... but who wins?! Iceberg Slim or Don Michaels?

Vic Canon - The referee is over here, talking to Chris Myers! Lets listen to the announcement!

Chris Myers - Referee Lance King has informed me that this match has come to a finish! Both Iceberg Slim AND Don Michaels had Arthryn pinned, therefore, this match has been awarded to BOTH ICEBERG SLIM AND DON MICHAELS!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT?!?! A DOUBLE PIN?! IS THAT LEGAL?!

The Informer - I guess so Eddie! But look! Iceberg and Michaels are both up on their feet! They just heard the annoucement!

Vic Canon - AND NOW THEY'RE BRAWLING IT OUT ON THE OUTSIDE!! LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT... OH!!! KNIFE EDGE CHOP!!

The Informer - FANS, WE'VE GOT TO TAKE A COMMERCIAL BREAK!! DON'T GO ANYWHERE!

The Informer - Welcome back to Heat folks! The brawl between Iceberg Slim and Don Michaels has continued all the way backstage!

Vic Canon - Wow, what a contraversial ending! A double pin?!

Eddie Sensation - Either way you look at it, Arthryn got pinned... BY TWO GUYS AT ONCE!

The Informer - He won't be too happy about that when he hears what happened!

Vic Canon - Well, now we're going to send it backstage to Rachel Stevens! You there, Rachel??

Brandon Kearse - No it was a message that I have a chair and I know how to use the damn thing! As far as the North American Title went, I targeted John Bab For Cocks, a.k.a 8-Ball because him as a North American Champion for the EWA is a disgrace and I am here to put some class back into that title.

Rachel Stevens - Tonight you have an Extreme Rules Match against 8-Ball... How do you think you'll do in this match?? Are you at all an extreme wrestler??

Brandon Kearse - I don't consider myself hardcore or extreme. I consider myself a wrestler that can kick your ass no matter what the situation is! Ha, swinging a chair and putting somebody through a table is not a hard thing to do. 8-Ball you want to take this to a new level? We can fight anywhere you like, because I'll just pin your ass where ever you like. This is the start of a dynasty like no other, and you should be proud to be my first victm because there is plenty more where that came from. So go ahead, break Lex Lethals leg, change your name from to stupid name to another stupid name. All that shit don't matter. What matters is the man your facing tonight because I am a opponent like no other. If you broke a sweat with Lex Lethal, then you sure as hell will broke blood with The Foundation. I am your next North American Champion. Like It? Don't Like It? Fu*k It, You Will Deal With It!

Rachel Stevens - Lets send it to the ring!

The Informer - Up next, fans, we have a Match which was originally scheduled to be a North American Title Match, but was changed to a Non-Title Match. Why? Because 8-Ball doesn't think Brandon Kearse is good enough for a title shot!

Vic Canon - Huh?

Eddie Sensation - You heard him! He's not good enough for a title shot!

The Informer - Well, we're about to find that out right now.. Lets send it to Chris Myers

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Non-Title Extreme Rules Match! Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by Ashley Kearse, standing 6'3" and weighing in at 250 pounds, from California, "The Foundation" Brandon Kearse!

["Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson blasts through the speakers, as Ashley Kearse and "The Foundation" Brandon Kearse step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - Brandon Kearse is said to be one of the best mid-carders around! He has great wrestling talent, and has a great no-quit attitude!

Vic Canon - I think 8-Ball is going to eat his words tonight! He may be in for one hell of a surprise! He's going to have his hands full with Brandon Kearse!

Eddie Sensation - Yada yada yada, blah blah blah!! Thats what you guys sound like! Just sit back, and watch the ass-whooping you're about to witness!

The Informer - Right...

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'9" and weighing in at 302 pounds, from Chicago, Illinois, the EWA North American Champion, "Tha Icon" 8-Ball!

["Murder" by UGK blasts through the speakers, as the EWA North American Champion, "Tha Icon" 8-Ball steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - And there's the ever so popular 8-Ball!

Vic Canon - Informer, you sound like you're saying that sarcastically!

The Informer - Wow, you catch on quick!

Eddie Sensation - HA!

The Informer - If you checked out my most recent Spoiler, you'd know what I'm talking about!

Eddie Sensation - But isn't Vic supposed to be one of your greatest fans??

The Informer - Thats what HE says!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAHA!!!

Vic Canon - Shut up Eddie... You're just trying to cause trouble! YES, Informer, I read it! You were talking about how 8-Ball is on his last string with Tom Stone!

Eddie Sensation - YEAH, RIGHT! Informer, you love spreading those rumors.... dont you?!

The Informer - Whatever happened to your Mis-Informer, Eddie?

Vic Canon - HA!

Eddie Sensation - Ahhh shut up. The 3D were paying me good money to write those. Now, Stone pays me chump change. He can keep it!

The Informer - Well, there's the bell! 8-Ball charges at Kearse! And Kearse sends him onto his back with a hip toss! 8-Ball gets right back up... DROP KICK by Kearse!

Vic Canon - Brandon Kearse picks him up to his feet, and throws him to the ropes! 8-Ball bounces off the ropes..... OH!! CLOTHESLINE by Kearse! Looks like 8-Ball is having some trouble! HA!

Eddie Sensation - OH!!! HAHAHA!! LOW BLOW BY 8-BALL!! LOOK WHO'S IN CONTROL NOW!

The Informer - 8-Ball grabs Kearse, and whips him over the top rope! OH! Kearse landed hard on his leg!

Vic Canon - What the hell was the point of that?! Just when 8-Ball had control, he tossed Kearse out of the ring!

Eddie Sensation - Maybe he needs a rest!! ...Hey! Look! Lex Lethal is coming to the ring!

The Informer - Uh oh! Lex Lethal just might be down here for 8-Ball!! But wait... Lethal is walking over towards Kearse! What the hell?! He's checking on him!!

Vic Canon - And now Lethal is signalling for the ref to go on the outside and help out Kearse! "The Foundation" may be injured!

Eddie Sensation - I dont like the smell of this! Something's up!

The Informer - AHHH!! DAMN FANS!

Vic Canon - THAT WAS NO FAN INFORMER!! THAT WAS ARTHRYN WHO JUST JUMPED BEHIND YOU!!

Eddie Sensation - ARTHRYN?! WHAT THE HELL?!

The Informer - ARTHRYN JUST CAME OUT OF THE CROWD, AND HE'S NOW IN THE RING! ARTHRYN TAPS 8-BALL ON THE SHOULDER.....

Vic Canon - .....WHAM!!! HE NAILED IT!!! ARTHRYN JUST NAILED 8-BALL WITH "EXECUTION"!!! WHAT A VICIOUS DDT!!

Eddie Sensation - DAMMIT!!! NOW LOOK AT KEARSE!!! HE'S SUDDENLY HEALED!!! WHAT A SCREWJOB!!!

The Informer - BRANDON KEARSE IS BACK IN THE RING! AND NOW HE'S CLIMBING TO THE TOP ROPE!!

Vic Canon - THIS COULD BE THE DEBUT OF HIS MOVE!!! THE TOP DOLLAR FROG SPLASH!!!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT!!!

The Informer - OOH!!! HE NAILED IT!! KEARSE JUST NAILED 8-BALL WITH THE TOP DOLLAR FROG SPLASH!!! KEARSE GOES FOR THE PIN...

Vic Canon - 1...... 2....... 3!!!! BRANDON KEARSE HAS DEFEATED THE NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION!!! WHAT A WIN!!!

Chris Myers - And the winner of this match... "The Foundation" Brandon Kearse!

Eddie Sensation - Wait a minute... That match was Extreme Rules!! We didn't even see ONE Extreme move!

The Informer - Exactly, Eddie! Brandon Kearse didn't need weapons to beat 8-Ball here tonight! 8-Ball is lucky he didn't have his title on the line! Or else he wouldn't be champion right now!

Vic Canon - And here's another fact!! That was 8-Balls FIRST LOSS in the EWA! He's had a perfect record as North American Champion until tonight!

Eddie Sensation - TONIGHT DOESN'T COUNT!! THAT WAS A SCREW JOB!!

The Informer - Oh shut up, Eddie! FANS, NEXT UP IS THE DEBUT OF THE MAD MONKS!! DONT GO AWAY!

El GiGante - First off Rachel I don't give a rats @#$ what rumors have said about these "Mad Monks." HA what kind of name is that. "The Mad Monks!"

Rachel Stevens - Mr. GiGante could I ask whats so funny?

El GiGante - You have to ask. Come on chica you should understand. I mean when there's a tag team going around with a name like "The Mad Monks" I think I'm gonna laugh.

Rachel Stevens - Well they are rumored to be a great tag team. Aren't you worried in any way that you have no idea what to expect?

El GiGante - It don't matter to me. I'm pretty sure these Mad Monks are no threat to the greatest tag team here in the EWA. I do know the Mad Monks better expect a beating there madre never gave them. Me and Moochie are gonna take this team out by the most feared move in professional wrestling, "Go Goya." There's no stopping us and I know for sure punks like da Mad Monks won't be stopping us from attaining tag team gold. Rachel this match is just a cake wake for "The MeXican CoNNection." Me and da Mooch will sit back relax and kick some f*cking teeth IN! Cause remember boys "When You F*ck Wit GiGante, Ya F*ck Wit Death" Chicos!

Rachel Stevens - A little over a week ago, at No Fear, you guys sent a message to the Iconz Of Perfection by dropping some ecstacy in their drinks, and bringing them to a gay bar! They were obviously angered by this... Is this your way of getting a title shot?? Getting them pissed off until THEY ask for the match??

Moochie - Eh meng. It was all in fun and games. They were like 'Eh, we will cheat.' So, we were just like, 'Eh mengs! You can't get away with that!' So, like, we did as best we could. And just because they were 'happy' around the other guys, doesn't mean they didn'et have fun. They were prolly getting their jig on. They should be thanking us meng. And Whatcha Goin Tah Do...When Moochie Mania And The Mexican Connection runs wild on you?

Rachel Stevens - Lets send it to ringside!

The Informer - I've been looking forward to this match all week! There have been rumors going around--

Eddie Sensation - Here we go with your stupid rumors again!

Vic Canon - WILL YOU SHUT UP EDDIE! LET THE MAN SPEAK!

The Informer - Thanks, Vic. LIKE I WAS SAYING, there have been rumors going around that The Mad Monks are possibly the greatest Tag Team in wrestling history! They are supposed to put the talent of The Regulators and Da BJ Boyz COMBINED to shame!

Vic Canon - Well, that's kind of impossible...

The Informer - Exactly!

Eddie Sensation - I wanna see this one!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Tag Team Match! Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by Bret Sheer and Jay, at a total combined weight of 345 pounds, Moochie "The Disgruntled Mexican" and El GiGante, The Mexican Connection!

["Rap Superstar" by Cypress Hill blasts through the speakers, as Bret Sheer, Jay and The Mexican Connection step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - The Mexican Connection get to be the first test for the Mad Monks! If I were them, I'd be pretty damn nervous! You don't know what to expect from these Monks! Will they be great? Or is this all hype?

Vic Canon & Eddie Sensation - .....It's all hype!

The Informer - Well, we're about to find out!

Chris Myers - And their opponents... Making their EWA DEBUT, give it up for THE MAD MONKS!

[The lights dim as eerie music begins to play through the speakers.]

The Informer - LISTEN TO THIS AUDIENCE!! THEY'RE IN COMPLETE SILENCE!

Vic Canon - HA! They can't wait to see these two!

Eddie Sensation - NEITHER CAN I!!

[A brown light shines on the entrance way, and the music gets louder.]

The Informer - ANY SECOND NOW!!

Vic Canon - Why are they doing this to us?! I'm anxious to see these guys!

[Suddenly, The Mad Monks step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - Hmmmm... strange... Both of these guys are dressed in long brown robes. They have HUGE hoods over their heads... It's almost impossible to see who they are!

Vic Canon - Is that the way they're supposed to be? Or will the robes come off?

Eddie Sensation - Don't look at me! Ask the genius over here!

The Informer - I guess you're talking about me... Well, to be honest Vic, I have no idea. All I heard is that they're GREAT wrestlers!

Vic Canon - HA! Did you see that?! One of those guys just stumbled over his robe!! He almost fell on his face!

Eddie Sensation - HA!! What an idiot! That would kill their reputation!

The Informer - Yes it would! The Mad Monks are now climbing into the ring... Wait a minute... HAHAHAHA!

Vic Canon - HAHAHA!! One of them just fell off the stairs, and landed on their back on the outside! HA!! These guys can't even walk!

Eddie Sensation - And listen to the crowd! They're laughing like crazy!

The Informer - And FINALLY, the Mad Monks are in the ring! There's the bell! HERE WE GO!

Vic Canon - It looks like El GiGante is going to start it off against.... Well, one of the Mad Monks. They're dressed EXACTLY the same! I can't tell the difference!

Eddie Sensation - We'll just call them Monk #1 and Monk #2!

The Informer - Good idea. Monk #1 is walking up to El GiGante! We've got a stare down! ...Well, nevermind... I dont think it's possible to see into his face! The hood is so big!

Vic Canon - OH!! GIGANTE JUST PUSHED THE MONK, AND HE WENT FLYING!!!

Eddie Sensation - WOW!! GIGANTE HAS BALLS!! AFTER ALL THESE RUMORS, HE'S JUST PUSHING HIM AROUND!

The Informer - Well, that's why the EWA is so great! People don't live off their names! And El GiGante is prooving it right now!

Vic Canon - The Monk is back up, and he's walking towards El GiGante! OOH!! HAHAHA!! THE MONK JUST FELL ON HIS FACE!! HE TRIPPED OVER HIS ROBE!!

Eddie Sensation - AHAHAHAHA!!! THESE GUYS SUCK!!

The Informer - Look at GiGante and Moochie! They're laughing their heads off!

Vic Canon - Wait a minute... I think Monk #1 is going for the tag! Yes! Monk #2 is now in the ring!

Eddie Sensation - Monk #2 is walking up to GiGante! Uhhh...

The Informer - Uh oh! Monk #2 is pointing at Moochie!! He wants Moochie!

Vic Canon - GiGante is pointing at Moochie, and the crowd is exploding! They want to see Moochie get in the ring with Monk #2!

Eddie Sensation - WAIT A MINUTE!! LOOK OUT!!!

The Informer - MONK #2 JUST ROLLED UP GIGANTE!! THE REF IS THERE FOR THE COUNT.... 1...... 2..... 3!!! YES!! THE MAD MONKS HAVE WON!! THEY HAVE DEFEATED THE MEXICAN CONNECTION!

Chris Myers - And the winners of this match, The Mad Monks!

Vic Canon - WHAT?!?! WE DIDN'T EVEN SEE A WRESTLING MOVE!!!

Eddie Sensation - THIS IS HORSE SHIT!

The Informer - And now The Mad Monks are taking off! They're running up the ramp!! Look at GiGante! He's stunned!

Vic Canon - Both of the Mexican Connection are standing in the ring STUNNED, staring at the Mad Monks!

Eddie Sensation - Hey, look! The Monks are at the top of the ramp! And they're signalling for something!

The Informer - Hold on... HEY! THEY'RE GOING TO DIS-ROBE! THEY'RE TAKING THEIR ROBES OFF!!

Vic Canon - .....OH MY GOD!!! ITS THE ICONZ OF PERFECTION!!! THE MAD MONKS ARE THE ICONZ OF PERFECTION!!!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT!?!?!?!

The Informer - Welcome back to Heat folks! And moments ago, we saw The Mad Monks disrobe!

Vic Canon - Or should we say The Iconz Of Perfection?!

Eddie Sensation - I still don't get it! Does this mean that The Iconz of Perfection have been wrestling somewhere else as the Mad Monks, and that THEY'RE THE ONES who have more talent then The Regulators and BJ Boyz combined??

Vic Canon - NO, YOU IDIOT!!

The Informer - Eddie, I got those rumors FROM The Iconz Of Perfection! They're the ones spreading the rumors about the Mad Monks!! Eddie, The Mad Monks don't exsist! The Iconz Of Perfection created them for tonight, just to get back at The Mexican Connection! It was all a prank!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT?!?! .....THOSE BASTARDS!

The Informer - HA!! Lets send it backstage to Rachel Stevens!

The Wildman - All I have on my mind right now is Roy's Juicy Wings from Gonja village and beating The Hustler and Nash half to death tonight. Hustler needs to realize that he's nothing, he's always gonna be nothing, and when I'm done with him, he's gonna wish he had never been born. HE'S GONNA WISH HIS OLD SLUT OF A MOTHER NEVER SLIPPED HIS FAT HEAD OUTTA HER SLOPPY SNATCH GODDAMMIT!!! HOLY SHIT BITCH!!! HUSTLER, I FUCKED YOUR SLUT MOTHER LAST NIGHT, THAT WHORE!! SHE LIKED IT!! SHE LIKED IT AS I PUT MY DICK IN HER F*CKING EAR!! I'M F*CKING CRAZY!!! I'M F*CKED IN THE HEAD!!! YOU DON'T WANNA F*CK WITH ME, BITCH!!! [Whispers] Next question please? [Starts to laugh quietly to himself]

Rachel Stevens - Also, we saw Chris Jericho vacate the Extreme Title last week on Heat! Do you think Stone will throw this title into this rivalry between you and The Hustler?

The Wildman - You know, I'm glad you mentioned our beloved CEO, Mr. Tom Stone. Yeah, I'd have to say that he would throw the Extreme title in the mix, and even if he didn't, I'd ask him to, cause it's like this: The Hustler thinks he's a hardcore legend for some reason. And I'm afraid that the only way we're ever gonna find out is to go to the limits. We need to see just who is the best here in the EWA. Hustler, I was here before you, I was born before you, I've been wrestling before you even dreamed about getting in the ring. I'm just downright better than you in every f*cking way. There's no f*cking way you're gonna beat me when it comes to the Extreme title. There's been alot of people here in the EWA that have claimed certain titles here as 'their title.' Like Nomad saying that the International is 'his' title. Well, I'm here to say that the Extreme title is MY F*CKING TITLE!!!! Stone knows it, everyone back in their lockerooms knows it, and it scares The Hustler to the point that he's pissing in his pants right as I speak. Hustler, it's okay if you're scared. It's natural. You won't have to be scared for very much longer. Starting tonight, I'm gonna make it my mission in life to make your life A LIVING HELL!! You're gonna be my bitch, and you're gonna love it, JUST LIKE YOUR WHORE OF A MOTHER LOVED IT WHEN I TOLD HER THAT SHE WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE ASHAMED OF HAVING A LOSER OF A SON!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!! I'M YOUR F*CKING MASTER, BITCH!!! BOW BEFORE ME LIKE THE BITCH YOU ARE!!!!

Rachel Stevens - Over to you, Rob!

The Hustler - Right........so what's your question? You just made a couple statements in a row without a definitive question; now that's good journalism. Anyways, I'll tell you what I think about Nash and Wildman in one succinct little statement of my own: THEY BOTH SUCK. Yeah, Nash jumped in at No Fear, but he hasn't done shit any time since. The way I see it, Nash was brought into the EWA by Stone at No Fear for his first night, and tonight, I'm going to take him out for good and make this his LAST night in this fed. And as for Wildman, this guy has really become an embarassment to himself. Did you hear him refer to himself as the "Beast from the East". Am I wrong, or is that same moniker Bam Bam Bigelow has been useing for years now. Mildman is pathetic in every sense of the word. For Christ's sake, he's taking wrestling tips, with no offense towards Mick Foley, but a guy who can't remember where his house is after shows, because he just takes ridiculous, and sometimes unnecessary bumps. Great, he perfected the Mandible Claw, probably the easiest submission hold to avoid or counter. The Wildman has nothing going for him, and after tonight, he'll just have have another loss to bitch about all next week. Complaing about not being considered a hardcore legend, like I am, IS NOT GOING TO MAKE YOU ONE. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO REALIZE THAT? Wildman, maybe it be best for you to go off with your buddy Mick into retirement. That decision might even be a bit easier to make, after I crush your worthless body tonight.

Rob DiMarco - Also, we saw Chris Jericho vacate the Extreme Title last week on Heat! Do you think Stone will throw this title into this rivalry between you and The Wildman?

The Hustler - Well, seeing as I am the only man in the EWA that could bring the Extreme Title back to a form of credibility, Stone would be crazy not to. Yeah, I guess Stone can tease Wildman into thinking he actually has a shot at it, but the entire world knows that when I held that belt for that record-breaking amount of time months ago, that title had value and respect, because it was around MY waist. As soon as Jericho got the Extreme Title, the title's worth went straight down. Jericho is a joke, and it's a shame he even got the title in the first place. If Stone wants to do what's best for the title, he'll give me the opportunity to win it back.

Rob DiMarco - Back to you guys at ringside!

Vic Canon - The Hustler, The Wildman, and Brian Nash are here tonight to settle the score from what went down at the No Fear PPV, and I'm positive this match is not going to be for the weak of heart!

The Informer - All three of these men have storied histories in their careers with hardcore matches, so none of these men are new to this level of mayhem!

Eddie Sensation - Yeah, all three of these guys are nuts! And also, I heard a rumor in the back that Hustler is planning something interesting for this match, so we'll just have to wait and see!

The Informer - Looks like this contest is just about to begin, as ring announcer Chris Myers has just stepped into the ring.

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Triple Threat Extreme Rules Match! Introducing first... standing 6' and weighing in at 240 pounds, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, "The Franchise" Brian Nash!

["Meet The Creeper" Rob Zombie blasts through the speakers, as "The Franchise" Brian Nash steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Vic Canon - Ever since Brian Nash made his debut in the EWA at No Fear, he hasn't been heard from since! Maybe he just likes to do his talking in the ring!

Eddie Sensation - Yeah right! Look at this guy step into the ring! He's a loser, and I hope Wildman and Hustler annihilate him tonight!

The Informer - Well, it is true that Nash hasn't been active, but he's been quite successful in other federations and will be looking to get his first win here tonight.

Chris Myers - Next... standing 6'4" and weighing in at 304 pounds, from Indianapolis, Indiana, The Wildman!

["Calm Like A Bomb" by Rage Against The Machine blasts through the speakers, as The Wildman steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - Wildman is wasting no time coming down the ramp, as he has just hit the ring by sliding under the bottom ropes! He's going right after Nash!

Vic Canon - The bell has sounded already, as Wildman and Nash exchange blows! These guys don't care about anything but tearing each other apart!

Eddie Sensation - Yeah, well, Wildman has finally realized that pleasing these morons in the crowd isn't all it's cracked up to be. Have you seen Wildman's recent interviews? This guy is fired up, and finally sees that the fans don't mean a damn thing!

The Informer - Eddie, those same fans pay your salary!

Eddie Sensation - Shut up, Informer! Such a kiss-ass!

The Informer - Anyways, back to the match at hand! Wildman has the advantage, and sends Nash to the ropes. Oh, Wildman with a nice back body drop on Nash! Wildman brings up Nash off the mat, and executes a nice German suplex!

Chris Myers - And finally... standing 6'4" and weighing in at 242 pounds, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, The Hustler!

["Walk" by Pantera blasts through the speakers, as The Hustler steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Vic Canon - Nice solid crowd reaction for The Hustler! Now that the Extreme Title has been vacated, Stone will definitely be putting this hardcore legend in the running for that piece of gold!

The Informer - Hustler did not enter the ring, but is rather on the outside. Wildman sees him, and his motioning for him to come into the ring!

Eddie Sensation - Yeah Wildman! Show him what real hardcore is all about!

The Informer - Hustler is now looking under the ring, and he's pulling out tables. One by one, he's tossing them into the ring! He's got about five folded tables thrown into the ring! And now, he's throwing some chairs from the outside in there as well! Looks like Hustler is adding some tools of the extreme trade into this match!

Vic Canon - Hustler is coming off some disappointing losses, so look for him to explode here tonight!

Eddie Sensation - My money is on Wildman! I don't think Hustler has it anymore to handle himself in this type of match!

The Informer - Wildman is still staring down Hustler on the outside. Well, he better turn around, because Nash is getting up! Nash has grabbed one of the chairs that Hustler threw into the ring, and is sneaking up behind Wildman! Hustler points behind Wildman, and.........BAM! Nash nailed Wildman with a hard chair shot to the head!

Vic Canon - Wildman's got a thick skull, so I don't think he'll be down for too long!

The Informer - Hustler now enters the ring for the first time. Nash swings the chair, and Hustler ducks! Nash turns, and is met with a kick to the midsection from Hustler! And......oh man, Hustler follows up with a DDT on to the chair that Nash just dropped!

Eddie Sensation - I'm starting to have less and less confidence in Brian Nash's ability! So far, this guy ain't doing so well!

The Informer - Hustler goes over to the recovering Wildman, and begins to pummel him with right hands. Hustler sends Wildman to the ropes, and meets him in the middle of the ring with a Forearm Smash!

Vic Canon - That move sends Wildman down again! And look guys, Hustler is going over to the tables!

The Informer - Hustler has grabbed a table, and set it up in the far corner of the ring, leaning against the turnbuckle. He does the same with another table and the opposite corner! Looks like he's planning some kind of destruction!

Eddie Sensation - I'm still waiting for this big suprise that was rumored in the back earlier!

The Informer - Hustler goes over to Nash, and pulls him up by the hair. Wildman is getting up on the opposite end of the ring. Hustler grabs Nash in a waistlock! He's right by the table there in the corner! Oh, Nash reverses the waistlock, and looks to be going for a Belly-to-Back Suplex! Hustler though is not letting him use the move, as he has locked his leg around Nash's! Wildman is up, and charges the corner! OH MY GOD!

Vic Canon - DAMN! WILDMAN JUST SPEARED BOTH MEN THROUGH THE TABLE IN THE CORNER! What impact!

Eddie Sensation - What did I tell you! Wildman is on the ball here tonight!

The Informer - Now look at the Wildman, gloating at the fans! And these fans are letting him know exactly how they feel about him too!

Vic Canon - Yeah, it's mutual hatred between the both of them!

The Informer - Wildman goes over to Nash, and pulls him up. Wildman tries to whip Nash into the ropes, but Nash reverses! Nash tries for the clothesline, but Wildman ducks, and hits the ropes again! On the return, and Nash catches Wildman with a Spinning Heel Kick that cought Wildman in the face!

Vic Canon - Nash might be showing signs of life after all!

The Informer - Nash picks up Wildman off the mat, and tosses him over the top rope. Wildman lands hard on the outside!

Eddie Sensation - Get up Wildman! Maybe I should give him some of my water!

Vic Canon - If I were you Eddie, I wouldn't want to get in the middle of this heated battle!

The Informer - Good point Vic! Brian Nash now pulls Hustler up off the mat, and hits him with some forearms to the skull. Nash has Hustler locked up, and pulls off a nice Vertical Suplex! Wildman is still on the outside, as Nash takes it to Hustler in the ring! Nash takes one of the tables, and sets it up in the middle of the ring! Nash looks as though as he's going to set up Hustler for a powerbomb through the table!

Eddie Sensation - This will end Hustler for good in this match!

The Informer - Nash puts Hustler into position, but no! Hustler drops to one knee and low blows Nash! A most effective counter by Hustler! Wildman has just managed to get himself up on the ring apron, but only has one leg up! Hustler hits the ropes, and OH MY! WHAT A MOVE!

Vic Canon - Hustler just dropkicked the table into the face of the Wildman on the apron! Hustler nailed the end of the table with his feet, which sent the other edge of the the table into the mug of Wildman!

The Informer - Wildman is once again down on the outside, and it appears that blood is coming from his nose!

Eddie Sensation - Finally, some blood in this match!

The Informer - Hustler now climbs the turnbuckle, and waits for Nash to make it to his feet! Nash is up, he turns, Hustler leaps off, and nicely done! Hustler just dropped Brian Nash with a Flying Head Scissors from the top rope! Hustler now goes over to the adjacent turnbuckle, and climbs that one as well. He waits for Wildman to make it to his feet and, WOW! SUICIDE DIVE OFF THE TURNBUCKLE AND ON TO THE WILDMAN ON THE OUTSIDE!

Eddie Sensation - This guy's nuts! 100% looney! One of these times he's going to break his neck doing these stupid moves!

Vic Canon - Hustler shows no fear! And these fans appreciate the flurry of high-flying moves The Hustler just pulled off! Listen to the cheers!

The Informer - Hustler has gotten up, and has just grabbed the top part of the ring steps, and is making his way over to the fallen Wildman! Wildman is on one knee, and OUCH! Hustler just brought the steel steps down on Wildman's back! That'll leave a mark!

Eddie Sensation - Don't count out Brian Nash though, he's on the outside, and has a chair!

The Informer - Nash stalks Hustler from behind, and OH! Nash wallops Hustler with the chair! Hustler appears to be bleeding from the forehead! Nash is now dragging Hustler over to the lower part of the steel steps that still remains. Nash steps up on the the steel, and brings Hustler with him! Nash takes Hustler, and MY GOD! NASH JUST EXECUTED A PILEDRIVER ON THE STEEL WITH THE HUSTLER'S HEAD! Hustler appears to be out cold! Nash senses victory here!

Vic Canon - Here comes Lance King to count the pin! ONE........TWO.......OH, THAT HAD TO BE TWO AND THREE QUARTERS!

Eddie Sensation - Where does this guy get this resiliancy! I might not like the guy, but I'll give him credit for kicking out after such a devastating move!

The Informer - Nash can't believe Hustler kicked out! Look at him, he's mad as hell! And he's also now on the ground, thanks to a HUGE Wildman clothesline! Wildman takes Nash, and throws him into the ring. Back in the ring, Wildman is working over Nash with some punches and kicks. Wildman is now pulling over Nash to the corner with the table leaning against it! Wildman grabs Nash around the waist, lifts him up, and HOLY CRAP! WILDMAN SENDS NASH THROUGH THE TABLE WITH A BELLY-TO-BACK SUPLEX! And now here's the cover! ONE........TWO.......HE STOPS THE COUNT!

Vic Canon - Ref Lance King stopped it because Nash has his foor on the bottom rope! Good instincts by Nash to stop Wildman from winning this match!

The Informer - Hustler is just getting up now, and man oh man, his face is covered with blood now! That cut on his forehead has really opened up, and now the blood is flowing! Wildman sees Hustler coming to! Hustler is up on the ring apron now!

Vic Canon - Hopefully Hustler will be able to defend himself!

The Informer - Wildman charges over, but Hustler greets him with a hard right hand to the jaw. With Wildman stunned, Hustler leaps up and over the top rope, and catches Wildman with a Sunset Flip! here's the count: ONE.........TWO......OH! Kickout at two by Wildman! Both men are back up, but Wildman is quick to the offense with a fist to the head of Hustler. Wildman looks like he's going to attempt a Gorilla Press Slam! Wildman goes for it, but Hustler floats over, and gets Wildman with a Schoolboy! Nice move, and another count: ONE......TWO.......ANOTHER TWO COUNT!

Vic Canon - Even with the loss of blood, Hustler is still able to execute some nice pinning combinations!

Eddie Sensation - Would somebody please tell Hustler that this is an Extreme Rules match! There's no wrestling moves in this sort of thing!

The Informer - Hustler back up, and he grabs a chair! Wildman follows, but is met with a chair shot for his trouble! Wildman though does not go down! Hustler quickly grabs a table, and sets it up near the corner! Wildman is stumbling on his feet, trying to remain standing! Hustler though grabs him by hair, and pulls him to the corner. Hustler slaps on an Inverted Facelock., and WHAT A GREAT MOVE! HUSTLER TOOK OFF FROM THE SECOND TURNBUCKLE, AND SEND WILDMAN THROUGH THE TABLE WITH A SPINNING REVERSE DDT!

Vic Canon - What a great move! And look, Brian Nash as left the ring, and is walking back up the ramp! Looks like he's getting the hell out of Dodge!

Eddie Sensation - Smart man! I'd probably be doing the same thing!

The Informer - Hustler sees him though, and instead of covering Wildman, has left the ring and in pursuit of Brian Nash! Nash doesn't see him coming! Hustler runs up from behind Nash......WHAM! Hustler executes a nice Running Bulldog on the ramp! Nash is busted open!

Vic Canon - Hustler isn't done with him yet! He's dragging him up the ramp, and throws him up on the entrance platform!

The Informer - Hustler has just ran back down to the ring, and has grabbed two tables! He's got the tables over his head as he makes his way back to the platform! Wildman is now stirring in the ring, and appears to be attempting to get up!

Eddie Sensation - Wildman! Get the hell up!

The Informer - Hustler is back up on the platform, and drops the tables down. He takes one table and sets it up! Nash is gettting up! He makes it to his feet, and grabs Hustler from behind! Nash drills him, and is going for the Nash Crash! He has Hustler, and he attempts to get him up! BUT NO! Hustler holds on, he grabs the head of Nash, and OH MY! THE LUMBERJACK'S END! RIGHT ON THE PLATFORM! IT'S ALL OVER!

Eddie Sensation - Not yet Informer! Here comes The Wildman with a chair!

The Informer - Hustler is in the process of putting Nash on the table, but he sees Wildman coming! Wildman tries for an overhead swing with the chair! Hustler ducks! Kick to the stomich by Hustler, and OH YEAH! LUMBERJACK'S END FOR WILDMAN TOO! HUSTLER HAS THIS MATCH IN FULL CONTROL!

Vic Canon - Yes he does, but why isn't he going for a pin on either Nash or Wildman?

The Informer - I have no idea! Nash is on the table, and Hustler goes over to grab the second table! Hustler unfolds the table, and places it up over Nash on the first table! What the hell is Hustler planning on doing?!

Eddie Sensation - I know! I know! This is what Hustler was planning earlier! Here comes the suprise!

The Informer - Hustler has picked up the limp body of Wildman, and is attempting to put him on top of the second table. Hustler has these tables stacked, Brian Nash on the bottom, and he finally is able to lift Wildman up, and put him on the second table! He has double-stacked tables, and has put his opponents between them!

Vic Canon - Look! Hustler has a smile on his face, and is pointing with a single hand to the sky! What the hell does that mean!

Eddie Sensation - Suprise time!

The Informer - It may very well be Eddie! Hustler turns around, and is looking at the EWA Big Screen! Is he going to show us something?

Vic Canon - I don't think so! He's now walking toward it, and is reaching up to the bars that support it!

Eddie Sensation - You don't think he's going to......climb that thing, do you?

The Informer - Oh my god, I think he is! And HUSTLER IS BEGINNING TO CLIMB THE EWA BIG SCREEN! LANCE KING IS TRYING TO TELL HUSTLER TO GET DOWN, BUT HUSTLER DOESN'T PAY ATTENTION TO HIS CALL! HUSTLER IS CONTINUING TO CLIMB THE GIANT VIDEO SCREEN!

Eddie Sensation - IS THIS GUY INSANE? HE HAS THIS MATCH WON! WHY DO THIS?!

Vic Canon - I DON'T KNOW! MAYBE HE WANTS TO SHOW THE WORLD THAT HE'S STILL ONE OF THE HARDCORE LEGENDS OF THIS INDUSTRY!

The Informer - HUSTLER IS ALMOST TO THE TOP OF THE SCREEN! EVERYONE IN THE ARENA IS ON THEIR FEET! HUSTLER HAS MADE IT TO THE TOP! THE ARENA HAS FILLED WITH "HUSTLER" CHANTS AND CAMERA FLASHES! THIS IS UNPRECEDENTED IN THE EWA! HUSTLER LOOKS AS THOUGH HE IS GOING TO JUMP OFF THE EWA BIG SCREEN, AND ON TO THE MEN BELOW, WHO ARE STACKED ON TABLES!

Eddie Sensation - I CAN'T WATCH!

The Informer - HUSTLER RAISES HIS HANDS IN THE AIR, AND HE LEAPS OFF!!!!!!! MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!! HUSTLER JUST DROPPED ABOUT FIFTY FEET FROM OFF THE VIDEO WALL AND ON TO THE TABLES BELOW!!!!!!!!! I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYBODY RISK SO MUCH!!!!! THIS IS INSANE!!!!!!!!! LOOK AT THE CARNAGE AND DESTRUCTION!!!!!!! THERE IS JUST A GIANT MESS ON THE PLATFORM, AND HUSTLER IS ON TOP OF IT ALL!!!!!! HIS BODY IS ON TOP OF WILDMAN'S SOMEHOW, AND THE REF COUNTS!!!!!!!!!!! 1.............2............3!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HUSTLER WINS THIS MATCH WITH ONE OF THE MOST INSANE MOVES EVER PERFORMED IN THE EWA'S HISTORY!!!!!

Vic Canon - HOLY SHIT!!!! HE DESERVES THAT WIN AFTER THAT!!!!

The Informer - AND WE STILL HAVE MORE TO COME!!!!!!! STAY TUNED!!!!!!

The Informer - Look! Yet another limo has just pulled up... who's inside this one?! [The limo driver walks to the back door of the limo, and opens it. Out from the limo comes...]

The Informer - IT'S CHANDLER!! CHANDLER IS HERE! LISTEN TO THIS CROWD!

Vic Canon - I guess he's here to take a closer listen to Diamante's Interview! That was scheduled for earlier in the show, but Diamante has requested a bit more time to prepare!

Eddie Sensation - What the hell does that mean?!

The Informer - I have no clue Eddie!

The Brink - Rachel, I'm not in the mood to fuck with you tonight... So let's just get this shit over with, ok? Truce?

Rachel Stevens - Ooh! I'm soooo happy, I can finally...

The Brink - SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!

Rachel Stevens - But you said...

The Brink - I don't care what I said, I JUST FUCKING TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP BITCH, NOW GET OUTTA HERE BRIDGET!

[Rachel drops her stuff, and walks away in a fit of rage. Brink stands there for a few moments, staring at the wall... until he finally turns around, and a mixed expression is shown on his face.]

The Brink - People... last Tuesday night I gave you my all during that match... I poured a lot of blood into it, I poured a lot of sweat into it... and after I sat in that hospital bed for hours on end... I had a lot of time to think, and that's when I began to pour the tears... Yeah, some of you might say that I'm a fucking puss, but I'm at the point in my career in which I only care about a few people's opinions. I don't care whatever our new "World Chump" is going to say about me, I don't care what Tom Stone thinks about me, and right now... well, I don't really have anyone that I give two flying fucks about anymore...

[Brink stands there, looking into the camera taking deep, intense breaths. His eyes are bloodshot, and to tell the truth, he looks like shit. Rachel Stevens walks up slowly behind him in the background, as Brink suddenly shoots around to face her, the back of his head to the camera.]

The Brink - I thought I told you to LEAVE BITCH!

Rachel Stevens - I know... b..b..but I'm going to l..o...lose my damn job over this!

The Brink - Rach, you have two options at this point... You can either A, get the fuck out... or you can B, make me make you get the fuck out... your choice bitchface.

Rachel Stevens - You and Thorn fought until you both almost died! Tonight is your re-match, but it's under a completely different set of rules! Are we going to see a continuation of the carnage from No Fear, or is this actually going to be a wrestling match??

The Brink - HEY BITCH, WAKE UP... Did you not fucking hear me?! I SAID, GET....THE....FUCK....OUT!

[An EWA Official walks up behind The Brink, and whispers something in his ear. He looks at the camera still, with a childish grin, until the official steps back.]

The Brink - Wait... you want ME to WATCH MY FUCKING LANGUAGE?! HAHAHA!!

Rachel Stevens - Well, it would be ni...

The Brink - It'd be nice? Did you just say that it would be nice? DEFINE "NICE" FOR ME BITCH! "NICE" WOULD BE FOR ME TO FINALLY BE AT PEACE WITH ALL OF MY FORMER FUCKING FRIENDS, "NICE" WOULD BE A FUCKING TITLE, AND "NICE" WOULD BE FOR SOMEONE TO FUCKING RESPECT ME IN THIS COMPANY!!! BUT NOOOOOO... HAVING ME WATCH MY FUCKING LANGUAGE ISN'T "NICE"... It's a FUCKING miracle. Bitch.

[Brink smiles at the camera with a quick grin, and walks away promptly as Rachel sits in disbelief.]

Rachel Stevens - ?... Over to you Rob!

Thorn - Rob...?

Rob DiMarco - Yeah?

Thorn - FUCK OFF!!

Rob DiMarco - Huh? What?! THORN, GET BACK HERE!

[Thorn walks off the set, and heads towards the ring...]

Rob DiMarco - Well, the prick is coming your way! Back to you guys!

The Informer - This next match should be quite interesting... It all started almost 2 weeks ago at No Fear, when Thorn and The Brink's Tar Heel Manic Match was stopped by Tom Stone!! He then scheduled a Re-Match for tonight!

Vic Canon - And we all just saw Thorn backstage. If you ask me, he's either pumped and ready to beat the Brink tonight, OR, he's frustrated and pissed off and won't talk to anybody!

Eddie Sensation - I think it's the second one! Thorn's always pissed!

The Informer - Good point Eddie.

Vic Canon - Let's send it to Chris Myers!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first... standing 6'6" and weighing in at 266 pounds, from Charlotte, North Carolina, The Brink!

["DescenT" by Fear Factory blasts through the speakers, as The Brink steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - We haven't heard from The Brink since his Pay Per View match! He didn't cut any interviews last week on "The Aftermath", but he's got a match right here, right now!

Vic Canon - I want to see what kind of condition these guys are. A few weeks ago they were beating on each other with baseball bats! And at one point, Brink broke one over Thorn's back! OUCH!

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'1" and weighing in at 201 pounds, from Sacramento, California, Thorn!

["From This Day" by Machine Head blasts through the speakers, as Thorn steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - As you mentioned, Thorn looks PISSED!

Eddie Sensation - As usual!

Vic Canon - I dont think this one is going to last long... I'm predicting a DQ win for The Brink! I don't think Thorn can contain himself... he's just going to let all his anger out, and that might get him disqualified!

The Informer - Good predicition... That's got a good chance of happening!

Eddie Sensation - I say.... TOM STONE BY PIN!

The Informer - Umm... Stone isn't even in the match!

Vic Canon - Dumbass!

Eddie Sensation - DUH, but knowing him, he'll come down here once they've killed each other, put himself in the match and get the pin!

The Informer - In your dreams Eddie!

Vic Canon - There's the bell! The Brink is walking towards Thorn, but Thorn is just standing there!

Eddie Sensation - They're chest to chest, face to face, nose to nose!! They're going to EXPLODE any second!

The Informer - Wait a second... Thorn is lightly pushing The Brink back, and telling him to back off for a second!

Vic Canon - And The Brink is doing it! He backed off a couple feet!

Eddie Sensation - What the hell? Now they're listening to each other's requests?! SCREW THAT!! KICK HIS ASS!

The Informer - HEY... WHAT'S THORN DOING?!? WHAT THE HELL!??!

Vic Canon - MY GOD!! THORN IS LAYING DOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!!! HE'S LAYING DOWN FOR THE BRINK!! THIS CROWD IS SILENT!! THEY'RE STUNNED!

Eddie Sensation - NO NO NO!!! Thorn isn't going to get me on this one!! I'm predicting that Thorn rolls up The Brink just as he gets within 1 foot of him! YOU WAIT AND SEE!!

The Informer - Look at The Brink! He's stunned to! He doesn't know what to do!

Vic Canon - And listen to Thorn! He's yelling "PIN ME!! PIN ME, GOD DAMMIT!!"

Eddie Sensation - HERE WE GO!! THE BRINK IS INCHING CLOSER!!

The Informer - I CAN'T BELEIVE MY EYES!!! THORN IS LETTING THE BRINK PIN HIM!!!

Vic Canon - BRINK IS DOWN ON HIS KNEES! AND HE'S GOING FOR THE PIN!!

Eddie Sensation - HA!! EVEN THE REFEREE IS STUNNED!! HE DOESN'T KNOW WETHER TO COUNT IT OR NOT!!

The Informer - AND NOW THE BRINK IS YELLING AT THE REF, TELLING HIM TO COUNT THE PIN!!!

Vic Canon - THE REF IS IN POSITION!!! HERE WE GO!!!! 1......... 2.........

Eddie Sensation - AHHHH!!! KICKOUT DAMMIT!!!

The Informer - THREE!!!! MY GOD!!! THE BRINK JUST PINNED THORN, AND THORN LET HIM!!!

Chris Myers - And the winner of this match, The Brink!

Vic Canon - THIS ENTIRE ARENA IS STUNNED!! THE BRINK IS BACK ON HIS FEET, AND THORN JUST ROLLED OUT OF THE RING! HE'S WALKING BACKSTAGE!!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON DAMMIT?!?! THERE'S NO WAY THORN WOULD JUST LET HIM DO THAT!!

The Informer - WELL HE DID!!! FANS, WE HAVE TO TAKE A COMMERCIAL BREAK!! STAY WITH US!!

The Informer - Welcome back to Tuesday Night Heat fans, and MY GOD... I can't beleive I just saw that!

Vic Canon - By his own will, Thorn LET The Brink pin him! Then, Thorn got up and left!

Eddie Sensation - And the entire arena was stunned, including The Brink and the referee!

The Informer - I don't understand what's going on with Thorn guys... After the LONG friendship between the two, they turned on each other. They've put each other in the hospital dozens of times, and showed a HUGE amount of hate for each other!

Vic Canon - Then, suddenly, THIS happens!! Something is up... I just can't put my finger on it!

Eddie Sensation - Maybe what Stone said is getting to Thorn! Maybe he's thinking about retiring!

The Informer - Maybe, Eddie! That's a possibility!

Vic Canon - I'm so confused right now.. I don't know what to think!

Eddie Sensation - Eh, that's normal for you Vic! HA HA!!

The Informer - Next up Ladies and Gentlemen, we're going to go live on location to.... Well, Divine's home, for a LIVE "Bedroom Brawl"! This match is something that came from the sick, twisted, demented mind of Divine...

Vic Canon - Ronny Garbage and Mike Basulto, friends of Cody Covington have challenged Divine and Tito to this match to avenge the "electrocution" of Cody Covington at No Fear...

The Informer - I just hope Basulto and Garbage know what they're getting into here!

Eddie Sensation - I hope they're wearing steal undies!! HAHAHA!! They've got to actually go into Divine's house!! That's some place straight men never dare go! And when they do go in, they don't come out straight!!!

Vic Canon - Well, let's go Live on location to the home of Divine.....

Vic Canon - Keep in mind that they must enter the house, make it through the bedroom and exit the house to win the match!

Eddie Sensation - HAHA!! Look at all the gear Ronny Garbage and Mike Basulto are wearing!! They've got football helmets, baseball bats and shoulder pads on!!

Vic Canon - I wouldn't take any chances either! Divine is a certifiable lunatic! At times he truly shows off homicidal tendencies!

The Informer - Wait a minute, Basulto and Garbage are talking! Lets listen in on what they're saying....

Mike Basulto - Are you sure you want to go through with this, Ronny??

Ronny Garbage - We have to Mikey!! We've got to get revenge for Cody!! Lets do it for Cody!!

Mike Basulto - YEAH!! On the count of three, lets run in there and kick some ass!!!

Ronny Garbage - Ok, here we go! ONE....... TWO........ THREE!!!!

Vic Canon - Well Basulto and Garbage have just stormed the Divine household... I don't know if that's a good thing...

The Informer - It looks like they're in the kitchen. Still no sign of Divine or Tito. Remember fans, once Basulto and Garbage get into the bedroom they have to make it out to win!

Eddie Sensation - What if Divine and Tito aren't even in there?!?

Vic Canon - We've had eyewitness reports that Divine and Tito entered the house earlier today and have yet to come out... They're in there somewhere....

The Informer - Is that the bedroom right down the hallway???

Vic Canon - I think it is!! Basulto and Garbage are holding their ball bats very tightly now as they enter the bedroom.

Eddie Sensation - OH MY GOD!!! LOOK AT ALL THAT!! Can they show that stuff on television?!?!

Vic Canon - We apologize for anyone at home who might be offended by some of the.... well, instruments in Divine's bedroom....

The Informer - Basulto is gagging in the corner at the site of those pictures on Divine's walls!

Vic Canon - WAIT A MINUTE!!! There's Tito!! Tito just came out of the closet and attacked Ronny Garbage from behind!!

Eddie Sensation - I think Tito came out of the closet a long time ago!!

The Informer - DEAR GOD!! Did you see how hard Basulto hit Tito in the back of the head with that bat?!?!

Eddie Sensation - Where's Divine at?? His little buddy is getting double teamed with baseball bats!!

Vic Canon - Ronny Garbage and Mike Basulto now hammering Tito with those bats.... WHAT THE HELL?!?!

The Informer - Oh great! The lights have gone out in the house!!

Eddie Sensation - OH GOD NO!!!! Do you hear those screams?!?!

Vic Canon - This isn't even funny, this is downright strange... One has to wonder why in the hell Tom Stone would let Divine back in the EWA... he's just not right for God's sake!

The Informer - The lights are back on now... but where's.... oh.... my.... GOD!!!

Vic Canon - Divine has shown himself, and Ronny Garbage is chained to the wall!! While Mikey Basulto is.... well.... lets just say for the sake of our younger viewers at home that Mike Basulto is not going to be able to sit down and poop for a loooong time!!

Eddie Sensation - So all Divine has to do is leave the house and he wins right??

Vic Canon - That's right Eddie! But, he's not leaving!! What the hell is he doing?

The Informer - He's reaching into his drawer, I remember he used to call that his "Hope Chest"!

Eddie Sensation - How the hell do you know that?!?

The Informer - I'd rather not say....

Vic Canon - HOLY SHIT!!! Divine has a knife!! Divine has a knife!! What the hell is this maniac doing?!?! This is going too far!!! TOO DAMN FAR!

The Informer - I agree, the guys in the truck should cut this off right now, we don't need to see this....

Eddie Sensation - Call the match guys!! That's what we get paid to do!! Divine is holding that knife to the throat of Ronny Garbage and... wait... he's pulling the knife away and extending his hand.... AWWW MAN!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS NUT DOING?!?!

Vic Canon - Divine just cut himself very deeply with that knife, and is now writing something on the wall in his very own blood! ....What's he writing? I can't quite make it out.

The Informer - He's writing Cody Covington!! Divine is obsessed with Cody Covington!! But Covington hasn't been seen since No Fear!!

["Chutes and Ladders" by KoRn starts to play out of nowhere as Divine looks around nervously. The lights in the house begin to flicker and then the sound of failing energy happens as the room is pitch black.]

The Informer - This isn't good....

Vic Canon - What the hell are those noises?!?! It sounds like a damn animal is dying in there!!!!

The Informer - I could just imagine....

[The lights flicker back on.....]

Vic Canon - WAIT A MINUTE!!! Look!!! It's Cody Covington!! He's beating the hell out of Divine!!! Divine is down on the ground gulping for air as Cody kicks him HARD in the gut!!

The Informer - Cody just unchained Ronny Garbage and is now chaining Divine to the wall!!! Cody has that bat and.... OH!! Right in Divine's stomach!!

Eddie Sensation - Divine is laughing!! He likes it!!

Vic Canon - Wait, Cody is saying something....

Cody Covington - YOU LIKE THAT?!? HUH?? YOU THINK THAT'S CUTE?!? WHAT THE FUCK IS SO FUNNY?!?!

Divine - [Gasping for air] You're... so sexy.... when you're.... mad!!!!

Cody Covington - Where THE FUCK are those videos at?!?

Divine - What.... what videos?... [Cough]

Cody Covington - DON'T PLAY, DUMB BITCH!! WHERE ARE THEY!!

Divine - Theres... theres only... [Cough] ONE.... it's in the.... the VCR.... [Cough]

Vic Canon - Covington now is going over to the VCR and hitting play!! I don't know if I want to see this!

Eddie Sensation - That sicko Cody wants to watch himself shower??

The Informer - I think he's making sure it's the real tape Eddie....

Vic Canon - OH NO!! NO!!! NO!!!! NOOO!!!! That's.... that's....

Eddie Sensation - DIVINE RAPING A ROOM FULL OF SMALL CHILDREN!!!!

The Informer - Look at the look on Covington's face!! Divine is still laughing! How crazy is Divine? He doesn't even know when to fear for his life!!

Vic Canon - Covington looks like he's had a nervous breakdown! It looks like he hasn't shaved in days, and that video with the kids.... I think it sent him over the edge!!

The Informer - OH GOD.... He's winding up with that bat!!! If he hits Divine in the head, he'll kill him!!!

Vic Canon - Cody just dropped the bat!!! ...what's with this?! Cody really must be going insane!!! He's laughing like a maniac!!

The Informer - I think Vic's right! He's gone off the deep end!! Now he is whistling...

Vic Canon - WHOA! Its GeniPher! She has brought the ASSets back to the EWA!

The Informer - And she has a little pink squirt gun filled with something!!

Vic Canon - Well, whatever it is... she is using it to squirt Divine in the... well, in the nuts!

The Informer - What could be the meaning of this?!?!

Cody Covington - [Yelling] YOU LIKE RAPING KIDS, DON'T YOU BUDDY?!? PALLY?!? FRIEND?!? WITH THE HELP OF GENIPHER, I WILL NOW PUT AN END TO THAT!!!!!

[Cody Covington reaches into his coat jacket and pulls out a little torch. He holds it up to Divine's groin.[

Cody Covington - You think this will feel good?!? WILL YOU ENJOY IT DIVINE?!?!? WILL YOU CREAM IN YOUR F*CKING PANTS?!?!?!?!?!

Divine - Well, if your going to torch my testicles then why not have a barbecue! Hey Gen, go get the hot sauce!

The Informer - NO!! DON'T DO IT CODY!!

Vic Canon - OH.... MY..... NOOO!! HE DID IT!!!

[The camera mosaics the scene of the flaming testicles...[

Cody Covington - [Laughing insanely...] You like that?!? HUH?!?!

[Cody picks up the bat and cracks it across Divine's face.[

The Informer - DIVINE IS OUT OF IT! HE NEEDS MEDICAL HELP!

Vic Canon - COVINGTON IS SICK! He's unchaining Divine, who isn't really moving that much. His crotch area is still burning!!!

The Informer - C4 just threw Divine out of the room! Him and Tito are the winners, but they are both out cold!

Cody Covington - You three get out of here, and get the limo ready....

Vic Canon - You don't need to tell those three twice!! Cody is pulling Divine by his hair! Wait a minute... Cody is looking down the stairs!!! YES! GIVE IT TO HIM SOME MORE CODY!

[Cody laughs as he gets Divine from his little belly shirt and tosses him down the stairs head first. Divine's head is busted open, but luckily for his magic flute, the fire has been smothered.]

The Informer - Cody is dragging Divine like a rag doll!!

Vic Canon - He is going towards Divine's pink caddy! He throws Divine on the hood and climbs to the top!!

The Informer - No... Come on CODY! EVEN THOUGH HE DID WHAT HE DID, THIS IS ENOUGH!!!!

Vic Canon - CODY SIGNALS...

Eddie Sensation - OOOOOOOOHH!!!!

Vic Canon - CLEARLY CRIPPLING ON THE HOOD OF DIVINE'S PINK CADILAC!!!

The Informer - DID YOU SEE DIVINE'S HEAD RECOIL FROM THAT THING?!?

Eddie Sensation - NO, I'M TOO BUSY LOOKING AT ALL THOSE TEETH DIVINE JUST LOST! THIS IS INANE.... BUT I LOVE IT!!

The Informer - This is bad news for Divine!!

[The limo screeches up next to the cadilac. Cody spits on Divine's lifeless body and then kicks him hard one more time in the ribs, jumps down from the hood, and enters the limo. Divine rolls off the limo where there is now a HUGE dent, and a big blood stain...]

Vic Canon - And away they go! These fans are LOVING it!!!

The Informer - This is DISGUSTING..... We'll be right back fans....

Hacker - I finally get my shot. Nice way to put it. I will roll over this little bitch that we call the EWA champion. He can be the EWA champion in his own mind and for real but when Hack Daddy kicks his canadian ass, he will realize that he is nothing but someone who depends on making us laugh. Ha Jericho, you go splat on the mat, funny!

Rachel Stevens - Are you at all concerned with Tom Stone? He hates both you AND Jericho! Those are 2 good reasons for him to come out here tonight!

Hacker - Knowing our little idiot owner, he'll probably come out and vacate the title tonight and make another tourney for the belt. He can make as many tourneys and vacate the belt until he goes limp. If he screws me tonight then he will show these fans who deserves the EWA title and his name is H-A-C-K, HACK DADDY COOL, MOTHERFU(blllllllllllleeeeep)

Rachel Stevens - Over to you Rob!

Hacker - You can see me in my hotelroom tonight, honey!

Chris Jericho - HUH? WHAT??? The computer nerd was actually a champion?? OK, bring the camera in on my face.... THIS IS ME CARING!!!! That idiot couldn't beat me if his life and status as the "biggest computer nerd in the world" was on the line! He's going to be just another victim to fall to the WALLS OF JERICHO! I bet you he was behind the "I LOVE YOU" bug!! I'll take it easy on him if he shows me how he did it! .....Well, NOT REALLY! But I won't deny the fact that I respect him AS A LOSER COMPUTER NERD! HAHAHA!!!!

Rob DiMarco - As we all know, Tom Stone hates both you AND Hacker! Do you think he and Fallen Angel will be out here tonight?

Chris Jericho - Let me think hard about that one Rod... Ummmmm....... ummmmm.... YES!!! Those two homosexual lovers are itching at the chance to take my belt away form me! I WILL NEVER E-E-E-EVER SURRENDER! I am YOUR EWA World Champion and it will be like that for a long, LONG time to come! Wether Babcock, Dino, Thorn, Fallen Angel or TOM STONE himself wants a shot, a shot is what they'll recveive! I will be known as the most fighting champion in EWA history, and wether you like it or not Rod... I AM YOUR WORLD CHAMPION!

Rob DiMarco - Lets send it to Chris Myers, who's in the ring!

The Informer - Chris Jericho has to be the guy who gets more shit from Tom Stone then ANYONE!! Sure, Stone had his rivalries with Divine and Zed, but Stone NEVER messed with them as much as he does with Jericho! Chris Jericho cannot have ONE MATCH without Stone interfering in it!

Vic Canon - Yeah, exactly Informer. Stone has done everything in his power to prevent Jericho from becoming ANYONE in the EWA! It all started with the "Orange" revolution that was lead by Tom Stone. Stone had Y2C try and KILL Jericho!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT?!?! YOU ACTUALLY BELEIVED THAT SHIT VIC?!?!

Vic Canon - Damn right I did!

Eddie Sensation - Oh, ok... [Cough]MARK[Cough]

The Informer - Haha! Anyway, with all that said, do you think it's possible for Stone to keep his nosey ass backstage for once?? I sure dont!

Vic Canon - I'd say there's a 85% chance that Stone comes out here, and adds stipulations or does SOMETHING to benefit Hacker!

Eddie Sensation - You guys make it sound like Stone is so evil! ALL HE'S TRYING TO DO IS RUN HIS COMPANY, DAMMIT!!!

The Informer - Sure Eddie... Lets send it to Chris Myers!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a EWA Heavyweight Title Match! Introducing first... standing 7' and weighing in at 331 pounds, from Detroit, Michigan, Hacker!

["Counterfeit" by Limp Bizkit blasts through the speakers, as Hacker steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - That man right there, Hacker, knows what it's like to be World Champion! He's won many titles in other organizations over his long career! I wouldn't be surprised if Hacker wins the Heavyweight Title here tonight!

Vic Canon - WOW! You're willing to take it that far?? I'd go as far as to say that Hacker has experience... but Jericho is a GREAT competitor!

Eddie Sensation - Are you saying that Hacker ISN'T?

Vic Canon - No... I'm just saying that--

Eddie Sensation - SURE SURE!!

Chris Myers - And his opponent... accompanied to the ring by Mandi, standing 5'11" and weighing in at 230 pounds, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, the EWA Heavyweight Champion, "The Franchise" Chris Jericho!

["Walls Of Jericho" blasts through the speakers, as Mandi and the EWA Heavyweight Champion "The Franchise" Chris Jericho step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - WOW!! LISTEN TO THIS REACTION FOR CHRIS JERICHO!!

Vic Canon - ....AND MANDI!!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT?!?! YOU LIKE WOMEN, VIC?!?! WOW!!! I CAN'T BELEIVE IT!! THIS IS THE MOST SHOCKING NEWS I'VE HEARD SINCE HITLER KILLED 6 MILLION JEWS!

The Informer - ........WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?! Eddie, you are a TOP CLASS MORON! That last remark of yours made NO SENCE!

Vic Canon - Informer, are you lost?? Haven't you heard?? TOM STONE IS A NAZI!!!

Eddie Sensation - AND HE EATS DEAD LEAVES!!!

The Informer - Ooh, right... Hahahaha!

Vic Canon - HAHAHHA!!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAHAHAH!!!

The Informer - There's the bell! This match is underway!

Vic Canon - Jericho and Hacker lock up!! OH!! Hacker throws Jericho into the corner! Hacker has the obvious strength advantage!! He's 7 feet tall!

Eddie Sensation - Jericho better take him off his feet if he wants to win this match!

The Informer - They lock up again! OH! And once again Hacker throws Jericho back into the corner! Jericho looks like he's starting to get frustrated!

Vic Canon - And they lock up again! OOOH!! JERICHO WITH A KNEE TO THE NUTS!!

Eddie Sensation - BUT HACKER IS STILL ON HIS FEET!

The Informer - Jericho bounces off the ropes.... OH!! SPINNING HEEL KICK!!! But Hacker is STILL up! Jericho bounces off the ropes again.... OH!! CLOTHESLINE!! That one spun Hacker around, but the 7 foot monster is STILL up on his feet!

Vic Canon - Jericho runs to the corner behind Hacker, and quickly climbs to the top rope!! Jericho balances himself, and JUMPS!

Eddie Sensation - OOOOH!!! BULLDOG OFF THE TOP ROPE!! AND HACKER GOES DOWN!!

The Informer - Jericho grabs Hacker's legs, and begins to kick behind his knees! Hacker looks like he's in pain!! OH!!! OH MY!! HACKER JUST KICKED JERICHO IN THE CHEST, AND JERICHO FLEW BACKWARDS!

Vic Canon - Hacker is up again! He bounces off the ropes... Jericho misses a clothesline attempt! They both bounce off the ropes again... Drop Kick by Hacker! NO! JERICHO CAUGHT HIS LEGS!!! WALLS OF JERICHO???

Eddie Sensation - NO!!! HAHAHHA!!! JERICHO JUST SLING SHOT HACKER OVER THE TOP ROPE!!! HACKER LANDED HARD ON THE OUTSIDE!!

The Informer - And Jericho is in control! Wow! How many people can say that they've dominated Hacker in a Heavyweight Title Match?!

Vic Canon - Not too many! But Jericho is doing it right now! "The Franchise" makes his way to the outside!

Eddie Sensation - Hacker is almost up on his feet! Jericho is behind him!

The Informer - OH!! Jericho takes out his knee with a stiff kick! Hacker goes down again! And Jericho continues to work on the knees of Hacker!

Vic Canon - Jericho kicks Hacker in the back of his knee's a few times! The crowd reacts with EVERY kick! They're loving this match!

Eddie Sensation - And now the ref is stepping in! He thinks that Jericho is going to kick his knee's out of position! HA!

The Informer - Jericho picks up Hacker.... LOOK OUT!!!! OOOH!! HACKER GOES CRASHING INTO THE STEEL STEPS!

Vic Canon - And now the referee is in Jericho's face! He's warning him!

Eddie Sensation - But Jericho isn't listening! He's got the steel steps in his hands! OOOH!!! HE JUST DROPPED THE STEEL STAIRS ONTO HACKER'S KNEES!!! HACKER IS ROLLING ON THE FLOOR IN PAIN!!

The Informer - And listen to the ref! He just told Jericho that was his last warning!! One more time, and Jericho will be disqualified!

Vic Canon - And I think Jericho is listening to him! Jericho throws Hacker into the ring! Chris Jericho rolls in the ring... UH OH!! JERICHO IS CALLING FOR THE ASAI MOONSAULT!! HACKER IS IN POSITION!! JERICHO RUNS TO THE ROPES.....

Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT!!!!

The Informer - OOH!! HACKER MOVED AT THE LAST SECOND, AND JERICHO CAUGHT A FACE FULL OF THE MAT!!!

Vic Canon - Check out Hacker!! He see's his opportunity, and he's trying to get to his feet! He's having trouble though... I dont think his knees can hold him! He's too badly injured!

Eddie Sensation - Hey, Jericho is up! Wait a minute, BOTH of them are up!

The Informer - Jericho swings for a clothesline! No! Hacker ducks! Jericho turns around and faces Hacker... Hacker kicks him in the gut! HACKNIFE!!! HACKNIFE!!!

Vic Canon - HE NAILED IT!!! JERICHO IS OUT!!! ALL HACKER HAS TO DO IS GO FOR THE COVER!!

Eddie Sensation - BUT THE BIG BASTARD CAN'T GET TO HIS FEET!! I THINK HE BLEW OUT HIS KNEE ON THAT MOVE!!

The Informer - You may be right Eddie!! Hacker is holding his right knee in pain!!

[Suddenly, the EWA Theme blasts through the speakers...]

Vic Canon - WHAT THE.... NO!! OH COME ON!!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT?!?!

The Informer - YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!!! TOM STONE IS COMING OUT HERE!

Eddie Sensation - IT DOES?!?!

Vic Canon - YES!!!! AND THERE HE IS!!

The Informer - Can't Jericho EVER have a match without Stone screwing it up?!

Vic Canon - I dont think so!! I think Stone gets off on making Jericho's life miserable!

Eddie Sensation - Stone has a mic!! SHUT UP!! I wanna hear this!

Tom Stone - Well well well!! If it isn't my two favorite wrestlers! Chris Jericho and Hacker!

The Informer - Yeah, right!

Tom Stone - Pretty good match you guys have going! TOO GOOD, if you ask me! And that's why I'm out here!

Vic Canon - OF COURSE!! WHY SHOULD WE HAVE A GREAT MATCH, IF STONE CAN COME DOWN AND RUIN IT ALL?!?!

Eddie Sensation - SHUT THE HELL UP VIC!!! I'LL TELL HIM YOU'RE SAYING THIS!!!

Tom Stone - While I was watching backstage, I got a little idea...

The Informer - Oh great... Let me guess, the ENTIRE roster against Jericho??

Tom Stone - And that idea sounded pretty damn good! So, I've decided to share my idea with the world! This little Heavyweight Title match that you're having right now is OVER.

Vic Canon - WHAT?!?!

Eddie Sensation - SHUT UP DAMMIT!! JUST LISTEN!!

Tom Stone - Instead, we're going to have a little TAG TEAM ACTION! This match will take place in a few minutes, right after I'm finished introducing the participants! So, lets begin!

The Informer - Oh great... I can't wait to hear this...

Tom Stone - The first team will consist of you two losers that are in the ring right now... Chris Jericho and Hacker....

Vic Canon - Losers? HA!! They're the ones pulling in your ratings, Stone!

Eddie Sensation - Vic, you say ONE MORE stupid thing and I'll break your legs! Understand?

Tom Stone - And, their opponents will be....

The Informer - Listen to this crowd! It's a sea of chattering! They're all talking among each other, guessing at who the other team will be!

Tom Stone - ...their opponents will consist of the GREATLY SKILLED... TOM STONE!!! ....AND....

Vic Canon - HA!! GREATLY SKILLED?!

Eddie Sensation - He'll kick your ass anyday! That's for sure!

Tom Stone - And my partner, on his way to the ring...

[Suddenly, "Prosthetics" by Slipknot blasts through the speakers.]

Tom Stone - THE NEXT EWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, FALLEN ANGEL!!!!

[Fallen Angel and Kimberly Wolf walk through the curtain to a loud reaction of boo's!]

The Informer - STONE AND FALLEN ANGEL AGAINST HACKER AND JERICHO?!?! WHAT?!?! WHAT KIND OF TEAMS ARE THOSE?!?!

Vic Canon - PLUS, JERICHO AND HACKER JUST FOUGHT A LONG, HARD MATCH!!! NOW THEY HAVE TO FIGHT ANOTHER ONE?!?!

Eddie Sensation - DON'T YOU JUST LOVE OUR BOSS???? HAHAHAHAH!!!

The Informer - THIS ISN'T FAIR!! JERICHO AND HACKER ARE BOTH SITTING IN THE RING! THEY MUST BE EXHAUSTED!

Vic Canon - Hey... HEY!!! STONE AND FALLEN ANGEL JUST GRABBED TWO STEEL CHAIRS!! THIS IS A NORMAL TAG TEAM MATCH!! STONE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT EXTREME RULES!!!

Eddie Sensation - Hacker and Jericho are up! They're backing off!! They don't want any part of those steel chairs!

The Informer - Stone and Fallen Angel slide into the ring! Stone is lined up in front of Jericho, and Fallen Angel is in front of Hacker!

Vic Canon - Stone and Fallen Angel just mumbled something to each other! THEY BOTH SWING!! NO!! BOTH JERICHO AND HACKER DUCK THE CHAIR SHOTS!! STONE AND ANGEL TURN AROUND.... WHAM!!! JERICHO NAILS STONE WITH A DROP KICK!!! WHAM!!! FALLEN ANGEL NAILS HACKER WITH THE CHAIR!!! HACKER AND TOM STONE ARE OUT!!!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK AT JERICHO!! HE'S LAYING THE BOOTS TO STONE!!!

The Informer - WHACK!!!! OH GOD!! FROM BEHIND, FALLEN ANGEL NAILED JERICHO WITH THAT STEEL CHAIR!! NOW FALLEN ANGEL IS LAYING THE BOOTS TO JERICHO!!

Vic Canon - STONE IS UP!! HE'S GOT A STEEL CHAIR, AND HE'S WALKING TOWARDS HACKER!! HACKER IS STILL FACE DOWN ON THE MAT!! STONE SWINGS..... OH!!! HE NAILED HACKER IN THE KNEE WITH THE CHAIR!! WHAM!! WHAM!!! GOD DAMN, SOMEBODY STOP STONE!!! HE'S SNAPPED!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAH!!! I LOVE IT!!! IS THIS WHAT THEY CALL CANADIAN RAGE?!?!

The Informer - Fallen Angel has Jericho on his feet, and Stone has Hacker up on his feet! Stone kicks Hacker in the gut... Fallen Angel sets up Jericho...... LOOK OUT!!!! OOOOHH!!! MY GOD!! STONE JUST NAILED HACKER WITH THE TOM STONE PILEDRIVER, AND FALLEN ANGEL NAILED JERICHO WITH FALLEN GENOCIDE!!!!

Vic Canon - DAMMIT, SOMEONE SHOOT THAT BELL RINGER!! HE'S BEEN RINGING THE BELL NON-STOP FOR AT LEAST 3 MINUTES!

Eddie Sensation - Pretty annoying, huh?? THAT'S WHAT YOUR VOICE SOUNDS LIKE!! HAHHAHAHA!!

The Informer - TOM STONE AND FALLEN ANGEL ARE STANDING OVER THE BODIES OF CHRIS JERICHO AND HACKER!! THIS IS ABSOLUTE CARNAGE!! WE HAVE TO TAKE A COMMERCIAL BREAK!! DON'T GO AWAY!! NICK DIAMANTE IS NEXT!!!!!

The Informer - Welcome back to EWA Tuesday Night Heat fans! Well, it's our final segment here tonight, and breaking from tradition, we're about to end Heat on an emotional high, instead of a physical one. The wrestling world has speculated on what Nick Diamante will say here tonight, in what is scheduled to be his last words to the wrestling world!

Vic Canon - But that's where the rumors come in, don't they Informer?

Eddie Sensation - What rumors??

The Informer - Well, over the course of the last week, just like I said earlier, there's been some mad speculation going on! What will Nick Diamante do from now on?

Vic Canon - Yeah, will he manage once more? Maybe there's a corporate position within the EWA for Nick Diamante now?

Eddie Sensation - Uh, guys� it's obvious that you're not avid fans of Q-Tips. Nick said he would be gone from the EWA should he lose against Chandler. That happened� and I can only guess that he's here to say a proper goodbye!

The Informer - I don't know about that, Eddie! We both known Nick Diamante� and he's the master of mind manipulation! I have a big feeling something big is going to come out of this interview!

Vic Canon - You can smell it� there's something not kosher in the air!

Eddie Sensation - Well, since you non-believers are so anxious, let's get to it!

The Informer - Very well. Let's head up to the ring with Rob DiMarco who is ready to speak to Nick Diamante!

Vic Canon - Would you listen to that? Fans in attendance are actually cheering for that name!

Eddie Sensation - Damn, I thought I'd never hear that!

Rob DiMarco - For the last 10 days since Nick Diamante himself said he would speak here on Heat, the entire world has speculated on Nick's future, and if he would be making any career decisions public to the world here tonight, live!

The Informer - See what I mean!

Rob DiMarco - So, without any further adieu� LET'S BRING HIM OUT! He is the former EWA wrestler, but never to be forgotten�.. NICK� DIAMANTE!

["Got The Life" by KoRn hits the speakers, and for the first time in his career, Nick Diamante walks out in front of an audience that is actually standing and cheering for him out of respect for what he has done in his career. Nick steps out and smiles out to the fans that are cheering him with somewhat of a surprised expression on his face. He walks to the ring wearing an "EWA: Wrestling Revolutionized" t-shirt, a black leather jacket on top of that, a pair of black jeans and Doc Martins.]

Vic Canon - And there he is! And gosh darnit, THEY'RE CHEERING HIM!

Eddie Sensation - Sure, they respect him! That man has taken the EWA to new heights, and like his shirt reads, he's revolutionized wrestling!

The Informer - But what a bitter-sweet feeling it must be knowing that he never once achieved his dream of becoming the EWA World Heavyweight Champion!

[Diamante climbs the steps and takes a look out to the capacity crowd in attendance, while waving. He steps between the ropes and acknowledges the fans with smiles and half bows, and then walks over to shake the hand of Rob DiMarco. Before shaking, he quickly pulls his hand away and runs it through the side of his hair, right before laughing and shaking Rob's hand finally. The music stops, and a capacity crowd can still be heard loudly in the background�]

Vic Canon - I can't believe it! I don't think Nick can believe it either! This place is about as loud as I've heard it all night!

Eddie Sensation - These people in the crowd must finally realize what I've seen all along! Nick Diamante, though at times near insane, really is an icon in this sport!

The Informer - That he is!

Rob DiMarco - WHAT ABOUT THAT, HEY NICK! These fans are cheering you!

Vic Canon - Damn right they are!

Eddie Sensation - Look at that smile on his face! Hey, it's just great to see this guy happy! He's had a great career, and now he's here to say goodbye!

Nick Diamante - [Smiles] I guess it's that old artist theory. A painter can never make money on his work until he dies! Hell, I guess these fans have grown to respect me now that I'm gone. [Smiles]

The Informer - Watching this man in and out of the ring often times was a work of art in it's own respect!

Rob DiMarco - Nick, it's been 10 days since you've been out of the Extreme Wrestling Association� and 10 days since you've spoken to the media. We all understand that this has been a very emotional time for you, with the results of your match against Clayton Chandler at No Fear. What have you been doing since No Fear?

Vic Canon - Good question. I'm sure he got a lot of well deserved rest! Lord knows nobody can recover fully from a match like the one he fought against Chandler!

Nick Diamante - Well, Rob� you're right� losing a match against a man you have very little respect for certainly will play some mind games on you. I'll be honest with you. To say that I've been a nervous wreck over the last 10 days would be a very gross understatement! I can still visualize scenes from that match so clearly it hurts� and being covered in bumps and bruises sure makes it hard to get those pictures out of your skull. But I'm lucky to have been around the ones I love� my family and friends over the last week� and that has helped me get my mind off of it a bit. [Smiles] Cause, damn� all in all� I needed a good rest.

Rob DiMarco - That's self explanatory. If you don't mind� can you give us your opinion of the match 10 days ago. With "I RESPECT YOU!" rules, what made you step across the line and put your career up for grabs in one match of that magnitude.

Eddie Sensation - Now there's a good question right there!

Nick Diamante - It's a very tough thing to try and explain Rob, but I'll do my best. 10 days ago, you'd have to understand my mindset. Personally, I've even shocked myself over how much that match has changed me inside. Before the event, I was obsessed with taking Clayton Chandler out for good. I'd tell you some of the thoughts I had when it comes to attacking Chandler, but I don't want to put a dark cloud over this night. Let's just say that losing to him did a lot more good for me than I thought it would. Yeah, I lost� and Chandler won� because on that night, he was the better man. He passed the test that I placed in front of him, and he did it with flying colours! I guess the reality has sunk in, and that's why I feel a lot less stressed out now. The match was a classic� I'm proud of it, and I accept all consequences whole-heartedly.

The Informer - At least he's being honest about it.

Vic Canon - He's being open about it, and it's nice to see that he's not out here making excuses.

Rob DiMarco - The match itself� WOW� what an event. Many fans and critics are already dubbing it "The Match" here in the EWA� the greatest of all time! What do you think about that?

Nick Diamante - Obviously, I'm thrilled to have been in that match, and like I said, I'm totally proud of it. But Rob, if you don't mind� for a second, I'd like to talk about something else� and it's a very serious issue.

Eddie Sensation - Uh oh! Do you think he's got an announcement to make?

The Informer - This could be it!

Nick Diamante - Being in the war, and being an observer are 2 very different scenarios to be involved in. For the last 10 months, I've been a full-fledged soldier in the army of the EWA� and believe me, I did anything and everything to win all my wars. I've been an observer for all but 10 days now, and quite frankly� I can't believe some of the things I've done in the past. Many of my actions can be looked upon as a black-eye on this business, and� I really can't believe I was so possessed� so obsessed with victory that I did some of these things. I came out dressed as a member of the Ku Klux Klan! I conned an innocent man, a good friend out of his company, gained his trust, and then went on to make a mockery of the very establishment he trusted me to take care of while he was on vacation!

Vic Canon - Damn� he seems to be spilling his guts here!

Nick Diamante - And over the last month� my insanity and obsession has only grown worse. Attempting to stab someone with a knife? Attacking an innocent girl? I'll be the first to admit that I am ashamed of those actions, and believe me� if I could go back to change those incidents, not to protect my image� but to save people from injury, I would do it in an instant! I'm not out here expecting to gain your sympathy, nor do I expect any of you to say "It's ok, Nick." Instead, I'll lead by example� and show dignity and honor by legitimately apologizing to each and every person I've ever brought unnecessary pain to.

Eddie Sensation - Wow� I never expected this�

The Informer - Nor did I!

Nick Diamante - In the future, I hope to be a figurehead, and I hope that others can see where I'm coming from. Wrestling is a great sport� and you've got to remember to never let it dominate your life to the point where you're legitimately wanting to kill someone� as I did with Chandler. That's just not right, and I'm ashamed of it.

Rob DiMarco - Nick, I think by the response of these fans, everyone sees where you are coming from, and that's a very noble thing to do!

Nick Diamante - No, it's the right thing to do, Rob� and I should have done it a long time ago.

Vic Canon - You better believe it!

Rob DiMarco - Now that we've got that out of the way, I've really got to ask you this question� because it's one that many people want to know. Now that you're gone from the EWA as an active competitor, how can you live with the thought that you were never once the EWA World Heavyweight Champion?

Eddie Sensation - Ah ha! I've been looking forward to this one!

The Informer - A lot of people call Nick the most talented man to have never held the gold� and personally, I think he's more talented than a lot of people who have reached that spot!

Nick Diamante - It's something that I'm just going to have to live with. I think a lot of people feel that I am championship material� and I deserve at least one crack at the EWA Heavyweight Title. Maybe it's my own fault that I never got the shot. Had I not been so damn focused on eliminating Chandler� maybe I would have gotten my chance. I'll never know now, will I? But the way I see it� I lost to Chandler. If there is any man in the EWA that I haven't proved I could beat, I don't deserve the shot. Right now, more than everybody� I believe Chandler should get a crack at that title. He made a believer out of me last Sunday.

Vic Canon - He's being rather open here, isn't he? Even these fans are booing a bit because they feel he should have had a shot.

Eddie Sensation - If I were in that position, I'd be crushed. Nick Diamante has never once received a shot that the EWA title� and now, he'll never receive one period!

The Informer - I'm not the biggest Diamante fan, but I'll admit that he should have had a crack at it somewhere down the line. He was just too talented of a competitor!

Rob DiMarco - Nick, as we've documented over the broadcast, there's been a lot of rumors that you would announce some of your future plans here tonight on Heat! Possibly a corporate position within the EWA? Maybe a return to your managerial days?

Vic Canon - Here we go!

Eddie Sensation - Right from the mouth of the horse!

Nick Diamante - [Smiles] Well Robby, the internet� the dirt-sheets� there's always going to be rumors flying around. But I'm here tonight to let the truth be known. I am a man of my word, and when I told the world I would leave the EWA if I didn't beat the respect out of Chandler, I meant it.

The Informer - Aw, the fans don't like that!

Nick Diamante - My future, in a nutshell, is uncertain. All I know right now is that I could use some rest and relaxation. I'm rolling around in more cash than I could ever need� and though the hunger to compete is still there, I'll have to cast it away until it becomes unbearable. The Extreme Wrestling Association is my home, and I could never wrestle anywhere else. Ask Hamric, he knows what I mean. [Laughs] I don't hold a crystal ball, and I can't tell the future. So, who knows� maybe one day I'll be able to return to this company and get a shot at being the best there is.

Vic Canon - WHOA!

Eddie Sensation - Yeah! Is there still hope?

Rob DiMarco - If given the chance to speak with Chandler now after the dust has settled, what would you say?

The Informer - HERE WE GO!

Vic Canon - This crowd is anticipating a big answer here.

Nick Diamante - [Smiles] I'd give him credit because, against all odds, he did it. He beat the respect right out of me. I now do have respect for that kid.

Eddie Sensation - Never did I think I'd hear this!

Nick Diamante - But Chandler, I want you to realize something here. My career ended on a verbal contract� nothing concrete. If I wanted to, I'm sure I could protest it and break back into the EWA like one hot 18-wheeler looking to run you right down! But like I said, I'm a man of my word, and for the next while, possibly forever, the EWA will carry on without me.

The Informer - That's a shame! He's going to be sorely missed!

Nick Diamante - But heed my warning, Chandler. I, after just 10 days, am already a changed man. My mind works differently� and more efficiently. So, with that said, Chandler� I wish you the best of luck in the Extreme Wrestling Association, because� if I ever decide that it's time for me to return� [Smiles] �rest assured, I'll be bringing the boys back to prominence, and you my friend will be first on the hit list!

Rob DiMarco - THERE YOU HAVE IT! Nick, on behalf of the entire wrestling world, I'd like to thank you for your career!

[The 2 shake hands�]

Nick Diamante - Thanks Robby� and thank you fans for making my career in this sport all the more memorable! Thank you!

Rob DiMarco - HE IS THE ONE AND THE ONLY NICK DIAMANTE!

[Nick waves to the fans and begins to leave the ring�]

Vic Canon - AND HE'LL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN!

Eddie Sensation - Oh, you better believe that! This man is a legend, and he's going to be missed!

The Informer - His work in the EWA will always be regarded in a great light! He's been the king of the mountain for a long time! Nick Diamante, we're going to miss you!

Vic Canon - That we will!

Eddie Sensation - NICKY D! "THE DIAMOND STUD"! Man, I'm gonna miss this guy!

[Nick Diamante stops in the middle of the ramp and turns around to face the audience one last time, and waves again�]

The Informer - Fans, we've witnessed the end of an era here tonight! For Eddie Sensation and Vic Canon, I'm The Informer saying�

[Suddenly, "Got The Life" stops playing, and "Ready Or Not" by The Fugees hits the system�]

Eddie Sensation - Hey! Hold the phone, boys! This one ain't over yet!!!

The Informer - Aww, come on Chandler, the man's fired, you don't need to do this�

[As soon as Diamante hears the familiar chords of "Ready or Not"s opening verse, he freezes to a standstill halfway up the entrance ramp. From underneath the EWA video wall, the street-clothed figure of Clayton Chandler emerges with a microphone in one hand and some sort of world championship in the other. His "The Man That Cut A Diamond: I'm The Fuckin' Shit" shirt stands out rather garishly to the people in attendance. He cares not of those people, however, as he keeps his cold blue eyes fixed on Diamante during his walk�]

Vic Canon - Come on Chandler! The man's already said "I Respect You!",.. what else do you want?

The Informer - Not to mention he put Diamante out of professional wrestling! This isn't right.

[Chandler turns on his microphone and continues walking towards Diamante�]

Chandler - Nick, Nick, Nick. Is it really the end? Tell me that it's not true! Where does the EWA go from here, what do we do now? Who's gonna go on our marquee? WHO'S GONNA LEAD THE CHARGE NOW, NICK?!?!

The Informer - �rubbing it in�.

Chandler - Ya know, Diamante, we've been through a hell of a lot together for the past year of our lives. From me quitting, to you returning, to me returning, and to us fighting�hell Nick, without each other, we wouldn't be where we have gotten! We wouldn't be the megastars that we are in today's pro wrestling arena. Because ya see, Nick, in our feud I was the ultimate face, and you were my ultimate foil. It was perfect. And now�its over.

The Informer - We've got some huge combustible elements right here on Heat!

Chandler - One year, give or take a few months, but one year of pure verbal, physical, and emotional hell. The greatest feud in the history of the game. And the scary part? It was real. It was extremely real. And we let it get real. And ya wanna know why? Because we're the same, Nick.

Vic Canon - Where's Chandler going with this?!?

Eddie Sensation - I have no idea!

Chandler - Deep down inside, even though both of us are never going to admit it, we respected each other from day one. We weren't just fronting the fans, Nick, in our feud�.we were fronting each other. And let me ask you something� Was it worth losing your career for? Was it worth this? Was it worth all of this to get to me?

The Informer - Look at the expression on Nick's face now! He's not smiling� he looks depressed and angry!

Chandler - Ya damn strait it is. Read the fucking shirt. And that's not my character, or my gimmick, or whatever the hell it is talking�that's me. I did end your career, and these fans will always remember me for that. And for that�.

The Informer - For that, what?

Chandler - For that, I thank you. I thank you, Nick Diamante.

The Informer - WHAT?!?!?!!

Vic Canon - D-D-D�Did HE JUST SAY THAT?!?!

The Informer - Never in my life�!!!

Chandler - Yes, you heard me. I am thanking the fat Canadian fuckhead. But, with just cause my friend, with just cause. [Smirks]

Eddie Sensation - �umm�

Chandler - Nick�I'm going to ask you to do something I never thought I would ask you to do�and this isn't something I have asked anyone to do in a LOOONG time�

Vic Canon - Just what is going on here?

Chandler - Nick�.

Eddie Sensation - What?!?!

Chandler - Nick. Shake�My�Hand�.

The Informer/Vic Canon/Eddie Sensation - WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

[The expression on Nick Diamante's face is a memorable one. He cocks his head, and stares blankly at Chandler�thinking�.]

Chandler - You heard me. Shake it. SHAKE MY DAMN HAND, NICK DIAMANTE.

The Informer - I�I�I'm speechless!!

Eddie Sensation - After all they've been through!

[Diamante extends his hand toward Chandler�they are about to touch�]

Vic Canon - WHAT A MOMENT!!!

[The crowd is on its feet, screaming at the top of their lungs for this moment. The two men sha�.]

Chandler - HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!! YOU THINK I'D SHAKE YOUR FAGGOT-ASS FUCKED UP CANADIAN HAND?!?!?! AHAHA!!!! GO TO HELL!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[A hush falls over the crowd�]

The Informer - Wha��? I know he just didn't�.

Vic Canon - That was absolutely wrong!

Eddie Sensation - That bitch!

[Chandler laughs hysterically at Diamante, and leads a "Ba Na Na Na, Hey Hey Hey, Goodbye" chant�only�no one chants�]

Chandler - �Hey Hey Hey�Goodbye�COME ON, EVERYBODY!!! SING IT NOW�

The Informer - No one's gonna sing, that was just wrong! He went to shake his hand, then pulled it away and laughed at him! What has gotten into Chandler, where's his sense of dignity�and honor?

Eddie Sensation - Well, for once, I absolutely agree with you, Informer. In all seriousness, that was despicable.

Chandler - COME ON!!! BYE NICK!!! HAVE A NICE LIFE!!! SAYONORA!!! HASTA LUEGO!!! EVERYBODY�HEY..HEY�HEY�GOODBYE�COME ON!!!

[No one is singing. The fans are absolutely and utterly silent, as Chandler continues to berate Diamante in the isle. And for the first time since the faux shake, we see the face of Nick Diamante. It is lowered, with tears dropping from his hanging strands of hair. He begins to walk�slowly�past Chandler and to the opening to the backstage area. Then, for the last time in his illustrious career, Diamante turns and faces the crowd�and slowly extends one hand in the air�]

The Informer - Goodbye Nick, you'll be missed.

[The fans stand and giving a standing ovation for Diamante�and his face, completely covered in tears, turns and leaves the arena�.for the last time�.]

Chandler - BYE!!!! AHAHA!!! HE'S GONE!!! THE FAGGOTS GONE!!! LARDASS!!! TWATFACE!!!! IGNORANT SON OF A BITCH!!!

The Informer - Shut up Chandler�shut up�.

Chandler - IDIOT, BAFOON, CANADIAN!!! MOTHERFUCKIN COCKSUCKING FUDGE PACKER!!!! AHAHAHAHA!!!!! WHAT, HEY, COME ON!!!!

[Suddenly Chandler's mic goes dead�and he realizes this. He stares at the crowd. And for the first time� the very first time in his professional wrestling career� Clayton Chandler is booed. One of the biggest faces to ever grace a professional wrestling ring is being jeered�.�� and Chandler smiles�]