The Informer - THIS ONE IS GETTING OUT OF HAND!!!!!!! JESUS CHRIST, IT'S RESPECT OR MURDER!!!!! YOU MAKE THE CALL!!!!!!!

Chandler - ONE QUESTION, NICK! DO YOU WANNA DIE TONIGHT??????????????

[Chandler shoves the microphone right in Nick's face again�]

Vic Canon - I HAVE A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS MATCH!!!!!!! THEY SHOULD GO IN AND STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!!!!! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - THEY SHOULD HAVE STOPPED IT 10 MINUTES AGO WHEN CHANDLER COULDN'T RESPOND!!!!!!!

Nick Diamante - ..uh�..I�.

The Informer - FOR THE LIFE OF ME, I HAVE NEVER SEE SOMETHING LIKE THIS!!! IS THIS THE END OF "THE DIAMOND STUD" NICK DIAMANTE???

Vic Canon - THIS ENTIRE ARENA IS SHAKING!!!! WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN HERE?????

Eddie Sensation - STAY IN THERE NICK!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!! FIGHT IT!!!!!!

Nick Diamante - ��..Chandler�.. you f*cking asshole�� I HATE�..you! [fighting to breath and speak at the same time]��� I��. I���. I HATE YOU!!!!������.. I RESPECT YOU, CAJUN!!!!!!!!!

[We are then taken into a shot inside the EWA studios in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Rob DiMarco and Rachel Stevens are in position, ready for the beginning of EWA Tuesday Night Heat: The Aftermath�]

Rob DiMarco - RESPECT� it was all about respect. Welcome fans to EWA Tuesday Night Heat: The Aftermath! I'm Rob DiMarco, and joined, as usual, by the lovely Rachel Stevens. Rachel� have you ever experienced an event like No Fear?

Rachel Stevens - Rob, back at Any Means Necessary, we thought we set a standard! But it's obvious that last night, the EWA did it again! No Fear from Shreveport, Louisiana was all that and a bit more! Because finally, we saw the end of a war!

Rob DiMarco - That's right, Rachel! Chandler choked it out of Diamante� RESPECT! And now, "The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante is gone from the Extreme Wrestling Association!

Rachel Stevens - That he is, Rob! And tonight, we're going to hear comments and take a very exclusive look at some never before seen footage inside of Nick's locker room last night.

Rob DiMarco - We've got interviews from many of the EWA's great, all reflecting upon the night that was NO FEAR!

Rachel Stevens - And we've got a lot to cover, so let's get right into it!

Rob DiMarco - Sounds good. Well fans, the Chandler / Diamante saga was apparently settled last night in "THE MATCH"� a classic battle that many people are already billing as "the greatest match in EWA history!" It was a battle that went on for a good 30 minutes� and it was about 2 men trying to beat the respect out of each other!

Rachel Stevens - Rob, sitting backstage watching that match, the feeling was unbelievable! I had butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it! Those 2 warriors� Chandler and Diamante� they gave a piece of their souls last night!

Rob DiMarco - There was pain and agony� pure hatred and unmatched emotion� family members and loved ones were involved� as well as Nick Diamante's career!

Rachel Stevens - Let's go to a clip of that right now! Just how did Nick Diamante's career get mixed into this deal and put on the line? Take a look�

[A video clip of Nick Diamante's opening interview from No Fear is shown�]

Nick Diamante - It's been a long and winding road� and it took a year� but I finally got Chandler one on one�. right here in the ring! One chance� that's all it's going to take� So� with much trepidation� I'd like to announce the following�..

The Informer - What the hell is he talking about??

Vic Canon - Shhh�. Quiet!

Nick Diamante - TONIGHT� May 21st�. Two-Thousand�. IN THE ARMPIT OF THE WORLD, SHREVEPORT, LOUISIANA!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAHA!!!!! THE ARMPIT!!!!

Nick Diamante - THAT'S RIGHT! TONIGHT, IN FRONT OF ALL YOU WORTHLESS PIECES OF CRAP� SINCE EVERYTHING IS AS PERFECT AS I COULD ASK FOR���.. IF I DON'T MAKE CLAYTON CHANDLER SAY "I RESPECT YOU NICK DIAMANTE"�� Then I guess I just won't have any damn reason to be a pro wrestler, will I?

The Informer - WHAT?????

Vic Canon - IS HE SAYING WHAT I THINK HE'S SAYING?????

Eddie Sensation - NO�� DON'T SAY IT'S TRUE�..

Nick Diamante - TONIGHT, IF I DON'T BEAT CLAYTON CHANDLER INTO A PULP AND FORCE HIM TO SAY "I RESPECT YOU NICK DIAMANTE"��. I WILL QUIT THE EXTREME WRESTLING ASSOCIATION!! JUST LIKE THAT!

Rob DiMarco - That was a really exciting way to start off the night! Nick had all the confidence in the world that he could beat Chandler, that he put his career on the line!

Rachel Stevens - But as we saw, Nick had many plans in the meantime! Some call him "The Master Of Mind Games", and others simply call him "The World's Most Hated Wrestler"� and here's an example why! During an interview with the hometown hero, Nick Diamante decided to get involved.

[The video footage begins to play.]

Nick Diamante - Chandler, my boy� remember earlier tonight when I put my career on the line? Do you think I was stupid enough to give you an advantage as huge as that one� without taking something back from you? [Smiles]

Eddie Sensation - Taking something back? HA! There's always a catch!

Nick Diamante - Ya see, boy� You'd have to wake up pretty damn early to out-smart Nick Diamante� THE WORLD'S MOST HATED WRESTLER! I could have easily come out here and caned your ass, Nancy Kerrigan-style! But, tonight� no, no� tonight, you'll have no excuses physically!

The Informer - I hope both men stay out of trouble so that we can have a fair fight later tonight!

Vic Canon - Tell me about it!

Nick Diamante - That's right, physically� you have nothing to worry about, because I'm totally set on taking your WORTHLESS Cajun ass out, fair and square� in about an hour. But since I'm taking a huge risk putting it all on the line, I figured I'd come out here and ask you for one favor!

Eddie Sensation - A favor from Chandler?? No way!

Chandler - Fuck you man. You don't need a fuckin favor from me. But, I tell you what, just the for the hell of it, what the fuck do you want, Arny?

The Informer - Uh oh, it's Tuesday Night BITCHFEST all over again!

Vic Canon - Look at Diamante and that demented, almost PERVERTED game-face!

Eddie Sensation - Hey, when you're that good� you can do what you please!

Nick Diamante - What I want from you, Chandler� my brother� is something concrete. Something that can be built upon. Something like���

The Informer - Oh God, the evil genius' mind is at work!

Vic Canon - I wonder what it could be? Maybe a match stipulation? Hell in a Cell? Ladder Match?

Eddie Sensation - We already have a stipulation, you idiot! "I RESPECT YOU!"

Nick Diamante - Oh, something like��� A LITTLE SLICE OF YOUR BITCH!

The Informer - WHAT???

[Nick Diamante grabs Chandler's girlfriend right out of her seat by the hair and plants a huge kiss on her! Quickly, he shoves her head between his legs and hoists her up for a POWERBOMB, dropping her on the other side of the barrier�]

Vic Canon - FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHAT THE HELL HAS HE DONE!!!!!!!!

[Diamante runs back through the audience, way ahead of Chandler who quickly runs to his girlfriend's aid�]

Eddie Sensation - HOLY� HOLY F*CK!! DIAMANTE JUST POWERBOMBED CHANDLER'S GIRL AT RINGSIDE!!!!!

Rob DiMarco - Just when you thought Nick Diamante couldn't get more despicable, he proves us all wrong again.

Rachel Stevens - No doubt about it. Thankfully, however� we've received word that Chandler's girlfriend didn't sustain any major injuries, and was actually released from hospital this morning.

Rob DiMarco - That's great to hear, Rachel! Nick only wanted to do one thing, and that's get under Chandler's skin and make him lose focus!

Rachel Stevens - But that didn't happen, did it?

Rob DiMarco - Well, to tell you the truth� I think it did. Going back to that match last night, Nick dominated Chandler for the majority of the time. I think Chandler's fans, friends and family kept him going� and the reminded of what Nick did to his girlfriend topped it all off!

Rachel Stevens - As you saw at the top of the show, Chandler indeed did take the win by choking the respect right out of Nick Diamante! Something that no one would ever believe possible!

Rob DiMarco - Let's take you to a quick clip of the emotional closing moments of the "I RESPECT YOU!" match! The, once again, "Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante didn't count on saying the words� but it was a life or death choice.

[The camera takes a close-up view of Nick Diamante's face. He is red with anger, filler with emotion, and actually crying uncontrollably and is in total shock! Chandler, in the aisle, turns around and stares right into the eyes of his fallen adversary�]

The Informer - My goodness� needless to say, Nick Diamante is shaken to the point of tears by the fact that his career just came to a thunderous and unexpected halt, at the hands of his most hatred rival ever!

Vic Canon - You've got to give credit where credit it due, fans! That man right there, Nick Diamante� he's had a tremendous impact, not only on the Extreme Wrestling Association� BUT ON WRESTLING, PERIOD! Not many people liked him, but everyone respects him for what he has done in this business! IN THIS SPORT!

Eddie Sensation - And now it's all over! Take a look at this final scene� Nick Diamante in the ring, staring down into the eyes of Chandler who's in the middle of the aisle! You just know there's some sort of respect there between them� BUT THE HATRED THEY WILL FOREVER SHARE FOR EACH OTHER� it's unmatchable!

[The fans in Shreveport, Louisiana begin to throw all kinds of trash into the ring where Nick Diamante sits unwilling to break his view on Chandler. All kinds of plunder fills the ring; soft drinks, beer, empty popcorn containers... an overall sign of the hatred the fans have built up for Nick Diamante�]

The Informer - Normally, I wouldn't condone these actions by the fans� but if you think about everything this man has done over the years to annoy them� to insult their intelligence� I have to break with tradition here, and say Nick Diamante� you deserve it! Fans, TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR WINNER!! CHANDLER HAS BEATEN THE RESPECT OUT OF NICK DIAMANTE, RIGHT HERE IN SHREVEPORT, LOUISIANA� RIGHT HERE AT NO FEAR! On an unbelievable night�. AN UNFORGETTABLE NIGHT, where history was made� for Eddie Sensation and Vic Canon� THANK YOU� FOR JOINING US� AT EWA NO FEAR! Goodnight everyone!

[The final shot is a priceless one. From behind Chandler's back in the aisle, the camera picks up a shot of the ring being filled with an unbelievable amount of trash. Nick Diamante still sits in the ring with tears streaming down his face� undoubtedly the loser of tonight's history-making "I RESPECT YOU!" match.]

Rachel Stevens - The ultimate heel put out by the ultimate shame. The career of Nick Diamante will never be forgotten, and for Chandler� he will now be able to say that he was the man that ended "The Diamond Stud's" reign of terror over the EWA!

Rob DiMarco - That looks great on anyone's resume, I'll say that much!

Rachel Stevens - It sure does! But Rob, earlier today, we were supplied with some video tape footage of Nick Diamante leaving the Hirsch Memorial Colosseum last night. Take a look�

Nick Diamante - Just give me a week to think things through. On Heat� I'll speak then.

[Nick walks away as the crowd begin to ask questions again, but refuses to answer anything. He walks down a hall as security guards block off the media.]

Rachel Stevens - It'll be interesting to see what the ex-EWA member will say to the world next week on EWA Tuesday Night Heat! There's no doubt that it'll be huge!

Rob DiMarco - No doubt about it! And for all we know� the feud between Chandler and Diamante may just hit some new sparks next week!

Rachel Stevens - Let's hope not!

Rob DiMarco - We'll be hearing from Chandler later on tonight, and it'll be interesting to hear what he has to say about his victory, and ending Nick's career!

Rob DiMarco - After his match at the Pay Per View, I had an opportunity to get a word with Iceberg Slim! Take a look...

Rob DiMarco - �SLIM!?! Wait! �.One minute of your time, �.please?!

Iceberg Slim - Eh? What the hell do you want?

Rob DiMarco - Just wanted a quick interview before you go, Slim. Just one or two questions...

[Iceberg Slim does a full 360 toward the camera's point-of-view. The shine of Slim's trademark diamond and platinum ($) sign chain causes the cameramean to adjust the contrast. He know zooms in on the "stone cold" face of the the Iceman.]

Iceberg Slim - What's yo name, man? I ain't never seen you before.

[Without notice, Posse member, Mustafa El-Ahmed, appears behind Rob DiMarco with his arms crossed.]

Rob DiMarco - [Gulp] ...Uhh, my name is Dob RiMarco, errr, I'm mean Rob DiMarco. I'm w-with AWE.. EWA, don't you remember me?

Iceberg Slim - NO. But it's cool though. You betta watch what hell you ask me, man. Na'mean?

[Mustafa comes an inch closer as the Iceman grips the solid gold chair a bit tighter. Seemingly, sending the reporter a message.]

Rob DiMarco - Uhh, OK. Yes, sir. So let me start this off by first asking you about your feelings about Don Michaels interferen...

Iceberg Slim - Hold it right there, man. You askin' me about my feelings after getting hit with a solid gold chair?! A SOLID GOLD CHAIR?!?! You wanna know my feelings? Let me show you how I FEEL! MUSTAFA! Hold 'em still!

Rob DiMarco - NO! N-no, Slim!

Iceberg Slim - A'ight then. So don't ask me any stupid shit again. Protect ya neck, fool!

Rob DiMarco - Sorry, Iceman. Maybe I should do this interview when your in a much better mood?

Iceberg Slim - Listen! I wake up EVERY F**KIN' DAY WITH A BAD ATTITUDE! Why don't you just shut up and let me do the f**kin' talkin'! You know what I'm sayin'?

Rob DiMarco - Yessir. The forum is yours.

[DiMarco signals to the cameraman to keep the camera rolling.]

Iceberg Slim - I'm gonna make this short and sweet, 'cause I'm a busy man. First...Don Michaels, Mr. Movie Star, Mr. Hollywood. Is this [Raises the gold chair to the camera] the BEST you got? HAHAHA! I think all the hoes in LA have soften you up, playa! You put a lil' bump on my head and you wanna call that a warning?!? You pick up a few homeless goons, dress 'em up like my Posse and think you got protection!? The only thing you did tonight Donny-Boy is hurt my feelings! And when you hurt my feelings, Don....I gotta hurt ya back! I'm not gonna tell you when, how, when or where. Just make sure that when it does happen, YOUR F**KIN' PAPARRAZI IS THERE TO TAKE PICTURES!!! Na'mean?

Rob DiMarco - And do you have anything to say to Arth--

Iceberg Slim - What did I tell ya?! SHUT UP! Like I was sayin'...Arthryn. Too bad I didn't get to finish showin' ya how easily I can beat ya @$$. You see, you just a innocent bystander in the war between me and Don. And in a war, there are always innocents that are hurt...or KILLED! But listen here. I'm not a man that break his promises, so here it is...3 Way DANCE! Michaels, Arthryn, and "he Baddest Man in Brooklyn"..yours truly. NO INTERFERENCE, FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE!!! Kill 2 birds with one stone! Tuesday Night Heat. Be there...'cause I will. Do you know what I'm sayin'?

[Suddenly, the roar of the engine of Slim's SUV disrupts his thoughts. This as well as the sudden blasts of rap music through it's intricate sound system.]

Iceberg Slim - Mustafa, let's be out. Let's see if we can catch the rest of that Knicks game.

[We are brought back to a shot of Rachel Stevens and Rob DiMarco, in the EWA studio...]

Rachel Stevens - Close call there, eh Rob?

Rob DiMarco - Indeed! You don't want to mess with those guys!

WaR CrYmE - Who is it??

[No answer.]

Lorenzo Hayes - Damn reporters... I'll get it...

[Lorenzo opens the door, and finds the beers. He shouts out to WaR CrYmE...]

Lorenzo Hayes - Hey, CrYmE, did you order us some drinks??

[The camera zooms in on WaR CrYmE, who has a confused look on his face. Instead of saying no, he yells out...]

WaR CrYmE - Damn right I did!! Let the celebration begin!

[The screen fades to black...]

[We fade to a shack in the backwoods outside Shreveport, Louisana. Big Daddy Hack is sitting in a chair enjoying a beer and wearing a Zed T-Shirt.]

Hacker - Tom Stone, I screwed you. You can admit it... [Smiles] ...I came down during your so-called punking of Zed and I took you out with one move.

[Hack makes a throat cut gesture.]

Hacker - Tom Stone, you think you can walk all over the Big Hack Daddy? EH-EH not so fast buddy. In the next few weeks, you will be destroyed and when it's over, HACK DADDY WILL BE ON TOP and Tom Stone will be in a familar position, on his knees begging for mercy.

[Hack smiles and we cut out.]

Rachel Stevens - And there were a few words from Hacker! Later on, Tom Stone will be joining us, who will comment on Hacker and his actions at the Pay Per View!

Rob DiMarco - And I'm looking forward to hearing what Stone has to say! ...Yesterday, I had the chance to interview "Mr. Homicide" John Babcock, who was fresh off a successful title defence at No Fear! Take a look...

Rob DiMarco - John Babcock, thank you for sitting down with me for this exclusive interview for EWA Tuesday Night Heat. This past Sunday we all were witness to one of the finest events that has ever been held in any sport, No Fear. You were once again successful in holding onto your EWA North American Championship against quite an athlete, Lex Lethal, in a first blood match.

John Babcock - Thank you Rob, and I am glad to still be the champion and you can believe that! Lex Lethal is one hell of a competitor and that I will admit, but it looks like tha lil hoe just wasnt good enough to beat tha champ, now doesnt it?

Rob DiMarco - You were victorious....

John Babcock - Hell yea I was, and its gonna be no damn different each and everytime I step in that ring. I am undefeated hea in tha EWA and I guarantee your ass right now that my record will extend far beyond what that Goldberg son of a bitch did in tha WCW. Lex Lethal made tha challenge fo tha first blood match and he was tha first to bleed exactly like I said he would. I hope that taught that bitch not to eva, and I do mean eva fuck wit tha REAL ICON of this sport again. He attacked me numerous times, but still succeeded in doin not a god damn thang. Tha fact is that even after No Fear, I remained tha North American Champion or should I say tha BEST damn North American Champion of all time.

Rob DiMarco - I have to admit that you have definatly continued to defend your title night after night. Last night, you came face to face with a man that you are very familiar with by the name of "The Foundation" Brandon Kearse. Kearse attacked you to no success as you still came away with the gold, but it is obvious that once again you have another challenger that has decided to attack you.

John Babcock - Brandon Kearse is definatly no foundtion of any damn thang. Brandon Kearse is a man that has always wanted to be in tha same shoes as myself and tha other greats of all time. He fo some reason actually considers himself to be in tha same catagory as a 28 time World Heavyweight Champion. Tha truth of tha matta is that Kearse couldnt last five minutes in tha ring with me and thats a damn fact. That is why Brandon Kearse, I am challengin you right now to a HARDCORE MATCH next Tuesday on Heat fo my North American Championship! I have seen all I wanna see of you and I wanna dispose of your sorry ass as soon as possible. Kearse, I dont know who tha hell you think you are, but ya need to recognize exactly who you are fuckin wit! You are no longer fuckin with John Babcock. You are fuckin wit tha real ICON of this sport. You are now fuckin wit tha man known as 8-Ball once again. I have tried to change, and I have tried to do what it takes to change my image, but tha bottom line is that I am still tha baddest nigga on tha planet and you already know that! Brandon Kearse, you already know that tha Icon, 8-Ball has ran tha damn industry of wrestlin fo tha last 5 years and this year will be no different. I have made tha challenge, so lets see who really has tha ballz, white boy!

Rob DiMarco - So, is this official? Are you changing your name back to 8-Ball?

8-Ball - I have always been 8-Ball, but I tried to make that dumb ass Tom Stone happy. All of you know that I dont do gimmicks, I destroy them. So, from this point out tha Icon, 8-Ball is yalls North American Champion and future World Heavyweight Champion fo tha 29th time!

Rob DiMarco - That is a huge announcement, but do you think that Tom Stone will be happy with it?

8-Ball - I dont give a damn if Tom Stone likes it or not, because if he has a problem, he can step into tha ring and I will beat his sorry ass just like Zed did last night. Tha Icon is hea fo good and no one, and I do mean no one can do shit about it! Brandon Kearse's ass has just woke a sleeping giant that stands 6'9" and weighs 300 lbs. I aint bullshittin no mo, and all of you that know me, know that when I am mad, I STAY mad! Now Brandon Kearse, I know your sorry ass is watching and you can hear me, so I suggest you leave town REAL QUICK befo you make me turn that very same anger into an ass whippin fo yo ass next Tuesday! If ya aint gonna leave boy, step into tha ring wit tha greatest of ALL TIME and lets see what you got!

Rob DiMarco - Wow, that is definatly a shocking turn of events 8-Ball. I am curious, however, what are your thoughts on your first participation of an EWA Pay Per View? Also, we saw the arrival of one of your all time rivals, Brian Nash as he made his presence known?

8-Ball - [Sipping wine] Brian Nash, Brian Nash, Brian Nash! I am so sick of hearin that fags name I am about to throw up my cheerios right in yo lap! I have proven to Brian Nash 4 times, 4 times, 4 times that I am far superior than he will eva be. Howeva, me and that son of a bitch do have some unfinished buiness to handle, so that punk betta watch his back. Brian, dont forget what I did to your sorry ass in tha eWWa, dont forget what I did to your sorry ass in tha FWF, and dont forget what I did to your sorry ass in tha NHBWF! Ya betta remember that you are NOT tha Icon that you say you are, and neva will be. For now, I will let tha shit rest, but as soon as you Brian Nash think that you are a man, I will whip your punk ass just like I have done each and every time befo! Now, you ask what I think about my first Pay Per View, I have to say that it was great! My first Pay Per View match was great and so was tha outcome. However, I would have much rather wrestled tha likes of Nick Diamante, Chandler, or Brink over Lex Lethal without a shadow of a doubt. I think that tha main event was however one of tha best matches I have eva seen in my life. Chandlers young ass did tha impossible and ended tha career of tha most over rated bastard I have eva seen. Nick Diamante betta be glad that Chandler ended his career, because I would have anyway if we would have eva stepped into tha ring togetha. Tha one thing that I hated to see was that racist bastard, Chris Jericho, walk away wit tha World Title. Chris Jericho has tha absolute least amount of talent that I have seen in this entire company since my arrival. He goes on a damn Oprah Winfrey Show and is considered tha best? That dumb bastard is far from tha best because he hasnt beaten tha best. Jericho, any time and any place you really wanna prove that you are tha best, I will gladly take your sissy ass and beat you like I did Brian Nash's bitch after she left him fo me back in 1999. Jericho, you have made an enemy that you definatly didnt want to have. I aint one of deez punk ass mutha fuckaz like Cody whateva his name is and them otha two dumb bastards. I am tha man, I will always be tha man, and if ya want some, I will show you that I am tha man. Howeva, just make sure that if ya come, you bring that World Title wit ya because I aint playin games fo free son. I want what is destined to be mine and thats tha EWA World Heavyweight Championship!

[We are brought back to a shot of Rachel Stevens and Rob DiMarco, in the EWA studio...]

Rob DiMarco - Wow! Babcock with some pretty harsh words for Chris Jericho!

Rachel Stevens - Indeed! And speaking of Chris Jericho, he'll be here later on in the show! But right now, we have to take a commercial break! But first, here's another clip from the Pay Per View...

El GiGante - [Whispering..] On three! Ready? ....THREE!

[The two break down the door, and enter the room. But the camera man does not follow them in. Instead, we can here many thumps and loud bangs. A few minutes later, we can see El GiGante and Moochie carrying the bodies of WaR CrYmE and Lorenzo Hayes out of their locker room! They drag them down the hall, and out towards the parking lot. As they walk, we can here Moochie say "This is gonna be great!"...]

Rachel Stevens - Welcome back fans! I'm supposed to be joined in the studio with Don Michaels, but he hasn't showed up yet!

[Suddenly, a loud noise is heard. The sound of glass shattering gets the attention of Rachel Stevens. She walks off camera, and comes back in a few moments with a tape in her hands.]

Rachel Stevens - Aparantly, someone has thrown this through our front door here in the EWA Studios, and I've been told to air it, even though we have no clue what's on it... Let's take a look...

[The screen flashes to life, and the image of The Man, The Myth, The Legend, The $uperstar Don Michaels is resting and relaxing on a beach chair somewhere in the Pacific. Michaels is dressed in a pair of gold metallic swim trunks. At his side is Jeanine Trujillo, his loyal valet, and confidant. Surrounding them are the four intimidating, yet impeccably dressed men known only as The Paparrazi.]

Don Michaels - Now, I'm sorry I can't be at Tuesday Night Whatever, but I have more pressing matters to attend to today. However I do have the time to grace the EWA for a few minutes.

[The camera fades into a close-up of Don Michaels.]

Don Michaels - First, I would like to apologize to Arthryn. Arthryn, if you are listening, I'd like to say....I'm sorry. I'm sorry that Iceberg Slim beat you from pillar to post so badly that I felt the need to come and lend you a "hand". I'm sorry that you were too big and stupid to see my $uperkick coming before it smashed into your jaw. And I'm really sorry that I ruined my expensive Bruno Malis stepping on your sweaty carcass. In fact, I'm so sorry for all of these things that I want to do something for you. I want to give you my Autograph!

[The camera fades back to a group shot of Michaels entourage. The Paparrazi begin to laugh. Jeanine simply looks into the ocean.]

Don Michaels - No not that Autograph, this Autograph!

[Michaels pulls out a photograph of himself standing over an unconcious Arthryn, posing. At the bottom in gold, glossy lettering is written "To My Number One Fan!" Michaels then tosses the photo at the camera.]

Don Michaels - Now onto Iceberg Slim. Karma comes back hard doesn't it playa? Did you think your assault on Peydo went unnoticed? Did you think I would let what you did to me slide? You know me much better than that Slim. Nothing as changed about me except for the address, and the car, and the clothes, and the bank account ......hmm, come to think of it alot of things have changed; but one thing remains the same: Don Michaels is nobody's punk. Now, rumor around the locker-room has it, that you want a three way dance with Arthryn, and myself. Well, I back down from NO-ONE. If you want it you got it. But remember be careful what you wish for. Well that's enough for now, I have important business to attend to. I'll see you all NEXT Tuesday.

[The camera begins to fade on the image of Michaels putting on his shades, and leaning back into his chair.]

Rachel Stevens - Wow, well, there are some unexpected words from Don Michaels!

[The view switches to split screen, with Rachel Stevens on the left, and a fuzzy picture of The Hustler on the right. Hustler is unshaven, and looks as though he hasn't slept in a while. Stevens begins her interview.]

Rachel Stevens - We aplogize for the technical problems folks, we'll try and get them fized as this interview continues. Well, Hustler, no offense, but you don't look so well! Is there anything wrong?

The Hustler - Oh, your concern for my well-being is touching, Rachel. It truly is. But no, I'm fine. I've just been thinking...... a lot.

Rachel Stevens - Well, let's start off with what occured at No Fear. You had two matches in one night, but unfortunately were unsuccessful in both. Your first match was an Extreme Rules Match against The Wildman. Your victory in this match was thwarted by a newcomer, Brian Nash. Can you give us your opinion on your match, your opponent, and the rookie interferer?

The Hustler - I don't lose many extreme matches, and I shouldn't have lost on Sunday night at No Fear. The Wildman is a joke. Everyone knows it. No one has respect for him, especially me. The guy thinks the everyone in the world owes him something, which is a shame. The only thing he is owed is a pink slip from Stone, because this guy is just a waste of roster space. He should be put on the ring crew or something. ON the Heat before the PPV, he had the gall to strap me up with a barbed-wire noose. He had me off the ground, and the razor-sharp barbs ripped into the flesh of my hands. I sacrificed these hands to save my neck, which I think was a good trade. I still have deep cuts on both hands, but it doesn't matter. What gets my attention is the fact that Wildman let me down. He was supposedly trying to spite the crowd with that little move. Wildman, you question my bloodlust, you question my ability to fight hardcore. MY question is: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DOWN? DON'T GIVE ME THAT PISSPOOR EXCUSE OF YOUR ISSUE WITH THE FANS. YOU DON'T HAVE IT, WILDMAN. MAYBE YOU SHOULD GROW A PAIR OF BALLS, MILDMAN. Now, I even hear that Wildman wants a Hell on Earth match with me. He's got to be kidding about that. The jackass would not be able to survive a match with me one-on-one, and I'll be damned if I give him the opportunity to get some attention by having that type of match with me. Fuck Mildman, because he doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve anything from anybody, BECAUSE HE JUST PLAIN SUCKS. I think it's about time for you to retire, and I'm going to be the one to break you in.

The Hustler - As for Brian Nash, where the fuck did this little piece of shit come from? Does anybody have any clue. The guy's almost as pathetic as Wildman, and that's pretty damn bad. I wouldn't piss on this guy if he was on fire. Apparently, he thinks he's something else, just like the Wildman, and both of them are dead wrong. Nash is nothing, and it's going to be nothing to beat the living fuck out of him next week.

Rachel Stevens - We've heard rumors that you had been spreading word about a challenge! Is this true?

The Hustler - Yeah, listen up Nash and Mildman, 'cause here's something for both your asses. A challenge for next week's Heat. Triple Threat Extreme Rules Match, consisting of Brian Nash, The Wildman, and yours truly. You two BOYS are going to learn one...... painful......... lesson.

Rachel Stevens - Oh wow, there you have it! And for next week's Tuesday Night Heat! I know that The Wildman has already accepted, but we'll get to his pre-recorded comments in just a second. Now, your second match of the night was the Four Way Elimination Match for the EWA World Heavyweight Title. You were the second to be eliminated, as Wildman came in to interfere and cost you the match. Can you give your thoughts on this match?

The Hustler - This match was lackluster, no doubt about it. It was overshadowed by the Diamante vs Chandler match, as well it should be. It was a bad match, and I'm sorry I was a part of it. Now, Wildman, don't get all excited and think you cost me the belt. You didn't, fucker. I cost myself that match, 'cause I allowed myself to be distracted by your retarded ass jumping around the ring there. I deserved to be elminated. Christ, I don't deserve the belt. My title reign was like two weeks, and while I had the belt, it felt great, afterwards, I realized that having that belt was wrong. I wasn't ready for it. That piece of gold distorted my focus, and my drive in the EWA. I haven't been around for interviews in a while for that simple fact, my focus is off. Right now in my career, I'm trying to regain that focus once again. As for the new champion, I think it's another joke. Chris Jericho is going to ruin the World Title, just like he totally destroyed the value of the Extreme Title, which I put back as a desired title some time ago. As soon as I lost that title to the now retired Diamante, the Extreme Division totally went to hell. And now, Jericho is going to fuck over the World Title. I'm sure everyone will appreciate the World Champion playing with penguins and oranges. What a fuckin clown that guy is. Covington obviously didn't deserve to win either, because the guy is just bland, and lacks the desire to win anything or make a name for himself in the EWA. The only many who deserved to win that title Sunday Night was Fallen Angel. The guy has busted his ass for months, and I have great respect for that. Fallen Angel, I think, would have been a good champion and raised the title out of the little attention it has right now. But no, he don't have it, the Human Cartoon does. Great, just fuckin' great. I'll be watching and laughing when Jericho burns and crashes.

Rachel Stevens - Well then! Quite derrogatory comments from Extremity At Its Best! So, any plans for the future?

The Hustler - Well, of course the immediate plans are to completely annihilate Nash and Wildman next week in which I promise to be one of the most extreme matches on EWA television in a long fuckin time. Also, I've made the decision to once again enter the Extreme Division and go after the Extreme Title, which I believe is vacated now since Jericock won the World Title at No Fear. Other than that, just to build myself up again as the hardcore monster I was just months ago. It's time to go to back to what works, and that's totally fucking people up, and causing early retirements. That's about it for plans, and I think for this interview too.

Rachel Stevens - Ok! Thanks for your time Hustler! Best of luck in the future!

The Hustler - Yeah, that's means a lot from some knob-slobbing, cum-guzzling whore. Thanks.

Rachel Stevens - HEY! TAKE THAT BACK!

The Hustler - End transmission, bitch!

[Hustler's side of the screen goes black instantly, and Rachel is left without an apology...]

Rob DiMarco - You're always getting into trouble Rachel! [Laughs] And now, we're going to take you to some pre-recorded comments from The Wildman. Check it out!

Lady Reporter - Wildman, I'm here on behalf of ESPN, and wrestling fans EVERYWHERE would like to know why the heck you tried to KILL the Hustler! Why Wildman, Why?

[He just looks at her with an evil grin on his face. She starts to get nervous, as he still has yet to answer her question, and they've been standing for about ten seconds. He then pushes the lady reporter down on her ass by pushing her face with his hand. She is shocked and looks up at him in confusion. He just laughs and walks on. He then sees a water fountain, and walks over to it to get a drink. As he finishes and turns around, another reporter is almost in his face again, but this time, it's good ol' Rob DiMarco with his trusty pen a interview paper with all his questions written down for him. The Wildman acts as though he's happy to see him, and they both walk to where they can have a short interview.]

Rob DiMarco - What's up Wildman? Did you enjoy your flight?

The Wildman - Well, usually if I'm moving faster than I can walk, I just assume to be behind the wheel, but I guess I didn't have a choice. I like flying if, you're talking about landing a flying elbow from the top of a steel cage, but that's not what you're talking about, is it?

Rob DiMarco - Well, actually, it might be. You might get a chance to do that if you accept The Hustler's challenge for an Extreme Rules match against him and Brian Nash! What are your thoughts about that?

The Wildman - First I'd like to find out more about this Brian Nash guy. He came out there while I was trying to finish what I had started on The Hustler, and he ruins my fun by knocking him out, and then trying to knock me out. Frankly, that was a huge career mistake, and if he wants to keep making those mistakes, then I think he'd better choose a different profession other than pro wrestling. Brian Nash, I don't know you personally, I right now, I don't really wanna know you personally. I am, however, curious to find out just how much punishment you can take in the ring.

Rob DiMarco - What do you mean by that?

The Wildman - You see DiMarco, when I was missing in action for about two months because of my neck injury, I didn't sit on my ass, drinking beer, or smoking weed all day and night. I actually trained my ass off with two of the most toughest, most technically sound pro wrestlers that I've ever met. One being my close personal friend, Mick Foley, and the other being someone to whom I've fought in and out of the ring for championships on many occasions, a man named Shadow. Now Mick wanted to get me in the gym and in the ring to show me some of his moves first hand. It was tough, but by the end of it, I perfected the Mandible Claw, and the Cactus Clothesline. The Mandible Claw being the most painful and the most feared submission move ever created, and the Cactus Clothesline being a type of clothesline that simply knocks you on the concrete, and on your ass. And after I got to test them out on both Mick and Shadow, well, they both agreed that they'd feel sorry for anyone who had to get in the ring with me with the moves I've got.

Rob DiMarco - What about the man named Shadow? What type of moves did he teach you? It seems like Mick Foley taught you more painful, energy draining moves, but what did Shadow teach you?

The Wildman - Shadow taught me how to be more technically sound in the ring, and how to bring down my opponents with moves that drain their energy. For example, he taught me the Tree Of Woe, which is a figure four leg lock using the outside ring pole. Very painful, but physically draining on my opponent as well. He taught me how to turn my 304 pound body into a human missile. In other words, he taught he how to use my weight to my advantage by executing high risk moves, such as flying elbows, moonsaults, shit like that. I can't wait to try out a moonsault through a table. That's something I've never tried. He also taught me how to do more actual wrestling, so I wouldn't have to depend on just hardcore moves. I'm a different person now. A more methodical Wildman, and if you wanna piss me of now, the consequences are gonna be a lot more severe. That's a warning for both The Hustler and Brian Nash. I guess you can look at me changing for the better as paying respect for Nick Diamante. I'd like to say here and now that Nick Diamante will be missed. He taught me a lot. He taught me more about myself, about pro wrestling, and the whole world in general. I changed in honor of Nicky D, and I will never forget him.

Rob DiMarco - I don't think I've ever seen you be so humble toward another wrestler before, Wildman. You really have changed, haven't you?

The Wildman - It's obvious, isn't it? Now I'm stronger than ever, I'm more dangerous than ever, and if anyone gets in my way, they are literally gonna be in a world of hurt. Hustler, Brian Nash, I'm gonna be there at the Extreme Rules match. In other words, I accept your weak challenge. If Hustler was the hardcore legend that he says he is, then he'd pick a real hardcore match, not a weak Extreme Rules match. And if Tom Stone is the one responsible for not letting any real hardcore matches occur, then Hustler should have the match be non-sanctioned, then Stone wouldn't have to worry about it. C'mon, Hustler. You say you're a hardcore legend, so act like one. Let's have a barbed-wire match, man. A thumbtack match, a bed of nails match, ANYTHING!! Anything is better that a weak, ordinary extreme rules match. Is it because you're afraid? Are you afraid of the fact that you can't beat me in a barbed-wire match? Like I've said before, I am the Barbed-Wire King. There's only been one person to ever beat me in a barbed-wire match, and I got my revenge on him with a barbed-wire explosion match, and burned his ass outta the EWA forever. This cheap extreme rules match is child's play, and you know it. But if Stone won't let it be, then I guess we have no choice. He's the one with the control, right? [Evil Laugh] ...I guess we could have an actual WRESTLING match then. After all, I'm prepared for anything. I AM THE BARBED-WIRE KING!!! I CAN DO ANYTHING!!! Anything you throw at me, isn't gonna be enough to put me out. You may be able to put me down, but you'll never, EVER, put me out. Nicky D already tried that, and everyone can see that it only made me stronger. What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger, right?

Rob DiMarco - So, you're prepared to do both spectrums, correct? Both hardcore, and technical wrestling. Am I following you so far?

The Wildman - You got it. Hustler, you go ahead, and you think up a nice, warm, hardcore, or technical wrestling match that gives you goose bumps just by thinking about it. I'll meet you in the ring whenever, where ever, and how ever you'd like, cause I can do it all. I can take you to your limit by showing you just how crazy I can be, just how sick I can be, or just how homicidal I can be, or I can take you to Hell and back by beating the sh*t outta you just by using the pure wrestling moves that was handed down to me by a champion. It doesn't matter to me. All that matters if that I accept your challenge, no matter how weak it is. All that matters is that the wrestling world better learn to accept the fact that I'm gonna CRASH THROUGH THE REST OF MY CAREER THE WAY I DO IT!!! MY WAY!!! DROPPING ELBOWS WHERE YOU CAN HEAR THE SICK THUD OF HUMAN FLESH MEETING CONCRETE!!! AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT....IF THE OLDER GENERATION DOESN'T SEE FIT.... [Whispers] get.... a.... new.... job.... [Evil Laugh]

[We are brought back to a shot of Rachel Stevens and Rob DiMarco, in the EWA studio...]

Rob DiMarco - Well there you have it folks! The Wildman vs. Brian Nash vs. The Hustler in an Extreme Rules match!

Rob DiMarco - Welcome back to Heat fans! No Fear was certainly a HUGE night! But for some people, it wasn't so great. A few hours after the Pay Per View, I got a few words with Fallen Angel...

Rob DiMarco - Fallen Angel... Glad you're still here... Could I get an interview for Tuesday Night Heat off you?

Fallen Angel - Ah... I'm not really in the mood...

Rob DiMarco - Come on, we're on a tight schedule for this edition.

Fallen Angel - Look... Kim really needs to see a doctor, and to tell you the truth, my "get up and go" got up and left.

Rob DiMarco - Please!

[Fallen Angel spits on the ground, then looks sideways at DiMarco. He walks over to him and grabs DiMarco by the wrist. He then brings his hand up and holds it to his head. DiMarco looks worried.]

Fallen Angel - Can you fell that, Rob? That thumping is the sound of a thousand violent shots to the head. I have bruises on my back from being put through a table, and there's about a gallon of blood over there in the corner, directly from my stomach!

[Kim walks over and puts her hand on his shoulder. Angel drop's DiMarco's hand and takes a deep breath.]

Kimberly - Just cut the interview so we can get out of here.

[Fallen Angel closes his eyes, sighs, and then looks at DiMarco and nods. Rob nods in thanks and continues with the interview. Fallen Angel sits with Kim on the bench as he asks his questions.]

Rob DiMarco - Tonight was obviously the biggest pay-per-view the EWA has ever done to date... And you fought in one of the main events, the Four-Man Elimination Match for the Heavyweight Title. But before we get onto that, I was wondering what your thoughts are on the "I Respect You" match between Diamante and Chandler...

Fallen Angel - Ah, yeah... Look... Both Nick and Clayton fought a great match tonight, and I'm really sorry to see Nick leave the EWA... But somewhere inside I knew that Chandler was gonna take the win. I gotta wish Nick the best in whatever he decides to do from here, but I also gotta congradulate Chandler... I have never seen anyone command this much respect in this business, and I can tell you that I respect both of these men, and that's the God's honest truth.

Rob DiMarco - Well said. And now to your match. Do you think that Jericho deserved to win?

Fallen Angel - This is the first and only time I'm gonna say this. Chris Jericho fought a good few minutes early tonight. He actually showed us that he has a hint of wrestling ability. But that was only for the last few minutes of the match. He might have won the match, but as usual he ran over everyone in his path to win the title, and I don't think he deserves the belt.

Rob DiMarco - Do you think the match went well, though?

Fallen Angel - The match went great! I did exactly what I said I'd do. First, I kicked the shit out of everyone, then... BANG!!! Down goes Covington... BANG!!! Down goes Hustler... BANG!!! Down goes... Tom Stone? Kimberly?! ME?!!! The match went absolutely swimmingly for the most part, but shit started to get out of hand, and it ruined everything. Belts, Tables, Divine's! We could've done so well without all the other bullshit, but I got a hunch that the fans enjoyed it... Superficial bastards. So I didn't win? So what?! Who really gives a shit about the belt! If Cody had've won, I would've respected him. If Hustler had've won, I would've respected him. But no! JERICHO WON!!! JERICHO IS NOW THE EWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!!!!! And that really pisses me off something chronic...

Rob DiMarco - Do you have anything else to say?

Fallen Angel - Yeah! Yeah, I do! What happened tonight was a travesty on the EWA's reputation. Chris Jericho is walking around representing our federation, and THAT IS NOT COOL!!!

[Fallen Angel stands up, getting emotional. He really doesn't like Jericho. Kimberly stands up and tries to calm him down.]

Fallen Angel - So I'm gonna do something about it! This isn't happening! So Chris... Buddy...

[Rob DiMarco takes a step back as Angel edges closer to the camera.]

Fallen Angel - Let's see if there really is a man hiding under that pretty-boy image of yours... Next month... At the June pay-per-view... BREAK DOWN!!!

[Kimberly walks up to Angel and puts her hand on his shoulder, but he pushes her away.]

Fallen Angel - I'm challenging you to a HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE match!!! I'm asking you to... No... I'M TELLING YOU TO PUT THAT GOD-DAMN PIECE OF GOLD ON THE LINE!!! YOU AND ME FOR THE GOLD... IN A ONE ON ONE MATCH... LITERALLY!!!

Rob DiMarco - What do you mean by "literally"?

Fallen Angel - What I mean is that I want to face you, Jericho... In a one-on-one match... Just you, me, and the referee! NO MANDI'S!!! NO KIMBERLY'S!!! JUST THE TWO OF US FOR THE HEAVYWEIGHT GOLD!!! Let's see you try and hide behind your red-haired whore this time, Jerkio... Let's see how long you can stay the champ without your significant other and ringside... What do you say?

[We are brought back to a shot of Rachel Stevens and Rob DiMarco, in the EWA studio...]

Rachel Stevens - WOW!! I'm looking forward to that Chris Jericho interview MORE every second!

Rob DiMarco - Right, but to get there, we have to go through the rest of the show! And right now, we have to take a commercial break! But first, here's some footage...

Ronny Garbage - Sorry, but I don't know where Cody has been since last Sunday... he just sorta disappeared.....He checked out of the hospital on Monday morning and has been gone ever since. I don't think he's even come home to change his clothes!!

[Mike Basulto shoves Ronny to the side and gets his face really close to the camera....]

Mike Basulto - See what you've done to this man?!? NOBODY... and I mean NOBODY has seen him since Sunday... not even his girlfriend... this is bad... and its ALL DIVINE's FAULT! That's why I am challenging him and his pet Tito to the second EVER Bedroom Brawl match......

Ronny Garbage - Not without me your not! You can't possible beat both of them at the same time, you can hardly dress yourself let alone take on two men.... well.... whatever they want their sex to be known as.

Mike Basulto - Why, thank you Ronny....

[Mike reaches over to put a hand on "Hot Shot's" shoulder.....]

Ronny Garbage - AH! DON'T TOUCH ME! I don't know what I just got myself into... damn, three homo's and a loser... sounds like a promising sequel......

Rachel Stevens - Welcome back to Heat fans... I'm supposed to be interviewing Divine and Tito, but neither man has showed up here tonight. I don't think I've seen either one of them anywhere, so I guess we're just going to have to wait until a later time to get Divine's acceptance to the challenge by Ronny Garbage and Mike Basulto....

Divine - RACHEL!!! It's been so long!!! Hello honey... I love what you've done with your nails!!

Rachel Stevens - Thank you Divine... now that you're here are you up for an interview?

Divine - Of course Rach!! SHOOT!!!

Rachel Stevens - Why are you back in the EWA Divine?

Divine - I'm back for one simple reason Rachel....Revenge!! Cody Covington scorned me, and if there is one thing you never do that is screw with a woman's emotions!! Am I right Rachel??

Rachel Stevens - Umm...you're not a woman.

Divine - That can be debated! Ask Tito! I pee sitting down!

Tito - He sits on my face.....

Rachel Stevens - Ok... Well how do you respond to the challenge of Ronny Garbage and Mikey Basulto for a "Bedroom Brawl" match on HEAT next week?

Divine - A challenge? From those two saggy butts?? HAHAHAHA!! I reject the challenge Rachel, but I would be more than happy to molest Cody Covington's little bitch boys in my bedroom for a few minutes!! Do you know what a bedroom brawl is my dear?

Rachel Stevens - No... I cant say that I do...

Divine - Well it's really quite simple. I invented the match myself so I am the master of it. The match begins in a lovely bedroom equipped with chains, whips, dills etc....and the first man to make it out of the bedroom wins!! So if Ronny and Mikey want to get it on in "MY" house.... they can bring it!!

Rachel Stevens - What about Cody Covington? He checked out of the hospital on Monday for those electrical shocks and burns, but no one has seen him since!

Divine - Don't plan on seeing Cutey Covington anytime soon. That big stud has been burnt by Divine's overpowering lust!! No one recovers from that. Not only did I break his body at No Fear.... I broke his spirit!! I took his chance at becoming the EWA World Champion, and I sprayed him in the face with my piss!! And if Cutey Covington ever shows his face in the EWA I will smash his Crystal Cock in a mere matter of moments!! But I have just one more question Rachel Stevens.... WHERE IS ROB DIMARCO?!?

Rachel Stevens - I think I saw him back in the locker room.....

Divine - Oh ROBBIE!! WE'VE GOT SOME TIME TO CATCH UP ON!!!

[Divine and Tito run off the set, off to find Rob DiMarco!]

Rachel Stevens - Well fans, Divine is back in the EWA! ....But is that a good thing?

Rob DiMarco - Welcome back to Heat folks! As you saw earlier on the show, The Mexican Connection spiked the drinks of The Iconz Of Perfection with ecstacy, and then threw them into a Gay Bar! HA!! I had the chance to get a word with WaR CrYmE... Take a look...

WaR CrYmE - [With a slurred speech] Wellllll, Ive got a lovely bunch of coconut's didley dee, all of themmmmm standing in a rowwww!!!

Innocent Bystandard - Oh please, three hours of your singing in the bar was enough, shut the hell up!!!

WaR CrYmE - Hey listen here you.....you....son of a mother-less goat, this is a free country, i can sing and i can be [In a high pitched voice] happyyyyy!!!!

Innocent Bystandard - Whatever.....doped up drunk...

[Hearing what the man has mumbled, the ever eager Rob DiMarco scurries over to his "compadre" in hopes of catching a few words with the "incoherent" man.]

Rob DiMarco - WaR CrYmE...buddy, pal....chum, hows it going??

WaR CrYmE - Who the f*ck are you?

Rob DiMarco - [Shocked] We...well im Rob DiMarco, interviewer and sometimes commentator for The EWA...you do know what the EWA is right?

WaR CrYmE - Sureeee, what do ya take me for??? A fool?

Rob DiMarco - Well under circumstances like this....

WaR CrYmE - Okay looky here you Jewish American Princess....i dont need you [Hiccup] shit right now.....i smell like booze....and ive been drugged..

Rob DiMarco - You do smell awfully strong of booze....WHAT?!?! Youve been drugged did you say????

WaR CrYmE - Thats right...Me and Lorenzo, we had some beers and Hoochie the ....the...belittled Mexican and El F*cko slipped us some ecstasy...and then dropped us off at a local gay bar.

Rob DiMarco - They dropped you off at a gay bar after slipping you..

WaR CrYmE - [Interrupting DiMarco] Have ya....have ya ever tried to fight off 15 super horny gay men while your doped up and drunk??

Rob DiMarco - Well...i cant say that i have.

WaR CrYmE - Well let me tell you....it isnt fun, Lorenzo and me...we [Hiccup] we fought for our anal virginity man.

Rob DiMarco - Aww come one man, thats not needed to be said!!

WaR CrYmE - Well what would you like me to say?? Its not like gay guys go around [Hiccup] poking each other in the belly buttons....do they?

Rob DiMarco - How the hell would i know?!?!?

WaR CrYmE - [Giving DiMarco a questioning glance] Cuz...cuz ive heard that your funny...like that.

Rob DiMarco - Funny like what????

WaR CrYmE - You know....homo funny.....ass-rammer funny...

Rob DiMarco - [Shouting] Im not gay!!! God dammit, why does everyone think im gay???

WaR CrYmE - How the hell should i know?? Your the gay one [hiccup] who should know.

Rob DiMarco - Argg.... [Heavily releasing air]... just calm down....dont let your fear of gay mean get to you....fear lets to anger..anger leads to hate...hate leads to stress...

WaR CrYmE - And stress leads to doobies!!!!!!!

Rob DiMarco - Jesus.....your really knocked up on that shit arent ya??

WaR CrYmE - Thats what ive been te..[Hiccup]..lling you, you dumb som-of a bitchhh...hhh.hhh...h. Those two assholes......only theyre sick perverted minds could come up with something like that...only two gay minds could come up with something like that. If Lorenzo ever wakes up in the parking lot im sure he'd want me to make this challenge....but im not going to, because hes not here...is he?[almost topples over]

Rob DiMarco - Whoa there...dont fall over on us.

WaR CrYmE - Worry bout yourself....pansy..im a big man i can handle it, Mexican Connection.....Gigante..you and your spic ass partner are going to pay fer...fer..[Hiccup]..fer putting that shit in our drinks...your going to pay for bringing us to that bar...youll get yours dont worry....you cant take me down with a little drug like ecstasy...and some beers....im a tank...look at me!!! Im still standing!!!!

[WaR CrYmE stands up on his chair with his arms in the air, with-in a few seconds his eyes roll into the back of his head and he flops forward unconcious ontop of a screaming DiMarco.]

Rachel Stevens - HAHAH! Was that not GREAT?! And it couldn't have happened to a more deserving PRICK then Lorenzo Hayes!

Rob DiMarco - Jesus, Rachel... You hate the guy THAT much?!

Rachel Stevens - Of course... do you blame me?

Rob DiMarco - Well, not really... Well fans, we have to take a quick commercial break! Don't go anywhere! JERICHO IS NEXT!

Rob DiMarco - Welcome back to Heat folks, and joining us now in the studio is the NEW EWA Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho!! Welcome Chris, and let me be the first to congradulate you on your victory!

Chris Jericho - Thanks Rod! I must say that it feels great to finally be at the pinnacle of my career. I've been working hard in this bussiness for over 40 years, and I must say, defeating four pylons-- I mean qualified opponents such as Dino DelMonte, Limp Angel, and Candy Covington would be a highlight in anyone's career!

Rob DiMarco - Well, the match at the Pay Per View was pretty exciting! We saw people from Divine to Mandi get involved, we saw tables, chairs and belts get thrown into the match, and to top it all off, Tom Stone was at ringside to make this match as hard as possible for you to win! But, you came out on top! Any words for Tom Stone, or ANYONE who thought that you couldn't win tonight?

Chris Jericho - I hope you remembered these words "THE EWA WILL NEVER E-E-E-EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!" ....I AM NOT A LIAR!!!! The EWA has forever beeen changed, and for the better! Ever since I have come along, the ratings have gone up, more people have become involved in the organization and I have created a sense of excitement like no other in history! Not Hulk Hogan, Kevin Nash or Scott Hall even come close to the excitement I bring in and out of the ring Rod!

Rob DiMarco - Earlier, we heard from Fallen Angel...

Chris Jericho - Is that why is smells so much in here?

Rob DiMarco - Uhhh... No... His comments were Pre-Recoreded.... Fallen Angel challenged you to a Re-Match for the EWA Heavyweight Title, at the next Pay Per View, BREAK DOWN!! What is your response to this challenge?

Chris Jericho - Despite the fact that he smells like a dead moose's ass, I will gladly accept his and any other wrestlers challenge! As long as I'm in a good mood, so Tim Sperm don't get under my skin!

Rob DiMarco - WOW!! That's going to be GREAT! But, right now, there are some people out there who think that you won't make it to the Pay Per View as champion! Some even think that you won't be a fighting champion! Is this true??

Chris Jericho - Uhhhh, let me think about that one for a second..... NO! I will be A FIGHTING CHAMPION! I will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am simply the greatest wrestler known to this earth! To prove it I will defend the title every week! THAT'S RIGHT... EVERYTIME I FIGHT, THE TITLE WILL BE ON THE LINE! I'm going to defeat every idiotic piece of trash from JOHN HANCOCK to some computer nerd named HACKER!

Rob DiMarco - I hope you're not choosing Hacker just because he's not too great of a competitor in the EWA!! I hope you know that Hacker has been Heavyweight Champion in MANY other federations! You sure you're not making a mistake here?!

Chris Jericho - [In a girly voice] OH LOOK AT ME.... MY NAME IS HACKER!! RUN BEFORE I GET INTO YOUR COMPUTER AND GIVE YOU A VIRUS!!!!.... SHUT THE HELL UP ROD!!!!! It really makes no difference who I fight, they'll all go down to the Walls Of Jericho... NOT THE LIONTAMER!

Rob DiMarco - What about The Hustler?? And Cody Covington?? They both are expecting a re-match as well!

Chris Jericho - Just like a cheap SAIGON WHORE... EVERYONE will get a CHANCE to win the belt.... EVERYONE! Unfortunately, they will fail miserably!

Rob DiMarco - Well, we've only got 3 more Tuesday Night Heat shows before the Pay Per View! Are you saying that you're going to defend your title on ALL OF THEM?!?!

Chris Jericho - Rod, your feeble mind is actually grasping the concept of a "FIGHTING CHAMPION"... Of course, I will take on all comers... Of course, it will be tough to do since, well... TIM SPERM HATES ME! He can't wait until I lose this belt... but I WILL WIN, simply because I MUST! The Giant Sperm that runs this company shall never be satisfied until I lose... AND I WANT HIM TO DIE UNHAPPY!!

Rob DiMarco - Wait a minute, I just realized something.... You are now the Heavyweight AND Extreme Champion! Yet, you haven't defended the Extreme Title in weeks! You main focus is obviously the Heavyweight Title... but what about the Extreme Title??

Chris Jericho - Well, this is where the sad part of the interview comes in... Violinists could you come in here please....

[3 Violinists enter the EWA studios and stand behind the seated Jericho. They begin to play soft, sad music....]

Chris Jericho - Unfortuately.... I must retire as THE GREATEST EXTREME CHAMPION EVER! I defeated everyone and anyone who opposed me and quite frankly, I was sick of beating those retarded, mutant freaks. So, I will declare the winner of the match for the Extreme Title at the PPV not just as the Extrmeme Champion but as the man WHO WILL NEVER PIN ME FOR THE EXTREME TITLE! [Imitating extreme wrestlers...] LOOK PAW, IM GOING TO HIT HIM WITH THIS CHAIR!! HAHAHA!!!! GOOD LUCK INBRED LOSERS! I'm off to bigger and better things, so you jerky's have fun fighting for the piece of trash that I've left behind!

Rob DiMarco - WOW! I wasn't suspecting anything like this to happen! ...Well Chris, I'll be looking forward to seeing you in the ring, defending your title EVERY WEEK! Thanks for being here, and good luck!

Chris Jericho - BITE ME ROD!!!!

[The camera switches to a view of Rachel Stevens, who is seated at the other end of the studio...]

Rachel Stevens - We have to take a quick commercial break! We'll be right back, in a few moments!

Rob DiMarco - Thanks for joining us tonight Thorn.

Thorn - It just goes to show what a guy will do to get out of a hospital bed.

Rob DiMarco - Ha.. ha... Anyways, we've got some questions for you, so take it away Racheal.

Rachel Stevens - Sunday Ni-

Thorn - I don't wanna talk to you bitch.

Rachel Stevens - My god! Show some respect!

Thorn - How about you show a little less ass, and I might show some respect bitch.

Rob DiMarco - Can we just get along with the interview?! Jesus Christ, why is it so hard for people to put up with her?!?

Thorn - Who the fuck do you put up with her??

Rob DiMarco - That's uh... confidential...

Thorn - Eh, no use hiding it. Everybody knows that your parking the beef bus in tuna town..

Rob DiMarco - ...how...?

Thorn - Everybody saw it.

Rachel Stevens - You guys saw that?

Thorn - Ya wanna see the pictures??

Rachel Stevens - THERE'S PICTURES!?!?!?

Thorn - Poster size...

Rob DiMarco - The bigger the photo the bigger the... uhh.. nevermind..

Thorn - You didn't need to go there.

Rachel Stevens - I'm SO like, embarassed. Can we just get on with the interview?

Thorn - If you promise to shut the hell up.

Rachel Stevens - What is-

Thorn - Rob, stick your ballz in her mouth again so she'll be quiet.

Rachel Stevens - HOW RUDE!!

Rob DiMarco - ...uhh... well... let's finish the interview first.

Thorn - Whatever...

Rob DiMarco - How are you feeling after your Tar Heel Manic match with The Brink at No Fear?

Thorn - Like I got my ass kicked.

Rachel Stevens - Which you did!!

Thorn - Don't tell me Brink's boinkin' ya too... damn girl! Anyways, Yeah, I did get my ass kicked, but I'm still here, I'm still alive, and I'm just going to come back with a vengenace. And next Tuesday, in the match that Tom Stone rescheduled, we'll see who the real man is!!

Rob DiMarco - Speaking of Tom Stone, What are your thoughts on him calling you "worthless" and stopping your match at No Fear?

Thorn - I didn't really get where it came from at first... I didn't get it, why is Tom Stone saying The Brink and I are worthless? Why is he saying that two of the top men in his federation "aren't worth the money?" Then it all hit me, in all this time that I've been in the EWA, look at my career... 3 time Extreme Champion, International Champion, North American Champion, decent resume if you ask me. But then I realized, what am I now? I'll tell you, I'm a man that can't get the job done, I'm a man that sits around, doesn't do interviews, and when I do do them, they aren't anything like they used to be.

Rachel Stevens - [Cough]has-been[Cough]

Thorn - Sore throat?

Rachel Stevens - Uh... yeah.

Thorn - Good job Rob. Heh... Anyways, I see why Tom stopped our match, I see why Tom thinks were worthless, because right now, we are. Back in the day, shit was tight between Tom Stone and I. Now we've parted our ways, and haven't really been the same since the EWA re-opened, and I have a feeling that it's because I've lost everything I had inside me, all my motivation, all my desire, everything... gone. Why? Because I feel like I'm being cheated, because I feel like I should be on top, when I'm just trapped somewhere near the middle. I feel that Tom Stone, all the bookers, and all those dumbass people have been cheating people with skill, people that are serious about the EWA, people that put there heart and soul into being the best they can be. I came to see something though, I understand why I'm not at the top. Simply because, I'm not one of those people anymore, and I fail to realize that. I fail to realize that it's not Tom Stone keeping me down, but myself.

Rob DiMarco - So how are you going to... get yourself back up?

Thorn - We'll just have to wait and see... but I'm out, peace.

Rob DiMarco - Oookay, thanks I guess.

Rachel Stevens - Thanks for nothing cock.

Thorn - I love you too, sweetie.

[Thorn gets up and leaves with a little smirk on his face as Rachel sits there all pissed of.]

Rob DiMarco - Wow, that was... WEIRD!

Rachel Stevens - Yeah, he's a real prick...

Rob DiMarco - Well fans, we're going to take one more commercial break! Up next, we have Tom Stone, PLUS, a few words from Chandler! Don't miss it!

Rachel Stevens - Welcome back to Heat folks! Joining me now is the owner of the EWA, Tom Stone! Thanks for being here Tom...

[The camera zooms in on Tom Stone, who is dressed in sweat pants, and a ripped T-Shirt. You can see peices of his bandaged up head, shoulders, legs, and back. The look on his face shows the amount of pain that he is going through...]

Tom Stone - Hurry up, will you? I have an appointment with the doctor, as soon as I can get there... Make it quick! I'M IN PAIN, GOD DAMMIT!

Rachel Stevens - Alright, alright... This passed Sunday, at No Fear, you had a match with Zed..

Tom Stone - [Stone interupts..] Enough about that match! Zed attacked me from behind, and hit me in the head with a foreign object, then got rid of it before the camera could see it! He's a CHEATER, and a SCUM BAG! And plus, Zed didn't really beat me!

Rachel Stevens - Umm, what the heck are you talking about??

Tom Stone - Are you blind, BITCH? DID YOU NOT SEE HACKER COME DOWN TO THE RING AND HACKNIFE ME?!?!

Rachel Stevens - Well, of course I did, but Ze--

Tom Stone - ZED?!?! ZED WAS OUT AFTER MY VICIOUS TOM STONE PILEDRIVER!!! DID YOU SEE HIM SQUIRM AROUND LIKE A FISH?!?! HE HAD A BROKEN NECK! AND THAT EXPLAINS WHY HE'S NOT SCHEDULED FOR AN INTERVIEW TONIGHT!

Rachel Stevens - Well, it didn't look like he had a broken neck.... Anyway, another event that occured last night is Chris Jericho becom--

Tom Stone - [Gets a sudden sharp pain in his back] AHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Rachel Stevens - Mr. Stone.. are you alright?? MR. STONE?!?!

Tom Stone - CHRIS JERICHO IS THE CAUSE OF ALL MY PAIN!!! HE IS THE DEMON WHICH SUMMONED ALL THIS PAIN ON ME!! CHRIS JERICHO WILL PAY!!! HE WILL PAY!!!!! [Stone begins to calm down, and holds his lower back]

Rachel Stevens - Do you wish to comment on his victory last night? It was a great, earned victory for Chris!

Tom Stone - Earned?!?! Rachel, DID YOU SEE HOW HE WON?!?! First, he caused Kimberly Wolf, A WOMAN, to get striked in the head with a solid peice of metal! Then, he struck Fallen Angel with the same weapon. Once I got into the ring to straighten things out, he struck me, and I landed right on my side, giving me 3 broken ribs! And you call this earned?!?! EARNED IS PINNING THE ONLY TWO OTHER OPPONENTS!! EARNED IS NOT USING WEAPONS DURING A MATCH!! FALLEN ANGEL EARNED THIS TITLE, AND HE WAS SCREWED OUT OF THE MATCH!! CHRIS JERICHO IS THE MOST CROOKED EWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION I'VE EVER HAD!! AND THAT MAKES MY STOMACH WANT TO IMPLODE!

Rachel Stevens - I'm sorry, but I have to disagree... Chris Jericho was double teamed through the entire match!! You were only at ringside to make sure Jericho didn't win the title, and you attempted to do this by adding the stipulation of Extreme Rules to the match, ONLY when Fallen Angel was in control of the match! You then put weapons in the ring for Fallen Angel to use! But, it backfired! EVERYTHING BACKFIRED! If anything, CHRIS JERICHO was screwed!!

Tom Stone - [Completly shocked!] ....HUH?!?! RACHEL, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!?! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?! DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO?!?!

Rachel Stevens - I'm sorry Mr. Stone... Disregard that comment...

Tom Stone - [Attempts to put his hand infront of his microphone, but fails...] You can make it up to me tonight! [Rachel begins to smile, until she realizes that what Stone just said was heard throught the world! She quickly drops the smile, and moves on to the next question...]

Rachel Stevens - Fallen Angel has challenged Chris Jericho to a Heavyweight Title RE-Match at Break Down! And moments ago, Chris Jericho accepted!! What are your comments?

Tom Stone - Well lookey here! Rachel, you wanna talk about someone being SCREWED?? HA!! You better check out this Pay Per View!

Rachel Stevens - Huh?? What are you trying to say?? Are you going to try and screw Chris Jericho again?!?!

Tom Stone - WHAT?!?! I DIDN'T SAY THAT!!! ...[Evil smile]

Rachel Stevens - Last question Mr. Stone... What do you have to say to Nick Diamante, and Chandler, who fought a match that was considered to be the GREATEST in EWA history!

Tom Stone - Really? Wow... It must have been good!

Rachel Stevens - What does that mean?!

Tom Stone - If I wasn't in the Hospital, maybe I'd have a chance to watch it! Diamante and Chandler were always great wrestlers, and I'll admit that. Nick is a crazy f*ck, and Chandler is a little boy with a lot of heart! I'm guessing that these two gave it their all, and I could have predicted that it was going to be a great match!

Rachel Stevens - Is that the reason why you came out at the beginning of the match, and made it Non-Sanctioned?

Tom Stone - [Getting nervous] ...Yes, that's exactly why.

Rachel Stevens - So, you came out at the beginning of the match with NO SIGN of injury, then you come here all bandaged up! Are you trying to play some kind of game, Stone?

Tom Stone - WELL, I GOTTA RUN!! THANKS FOR HAVING ME, BUH BYE!!! [Stone gets up, and darts out of the studio! Rachel has a confused look on her face...]

Rachel Stevens - Well fans, we've been promising some words from Chandler, and here they finally are! Thanks for joining us on Tuesday Night Heat, and enjoy!

[For one hour and 20-some-odd minutes, Diamante and Chandler ingaged in hellacious warface the likes of which have NEVER been seen before. The match contained something for fans of every genre of the sport. From the hellacious ladder-to-table spot by Chandler to the many foreign submission holds both men applied to the amazing micwork during the match for the fans who just want to be entertained. Both men gave it they're all...]

[...But only one man won that night. And that man was Chandler. In front of his family and closest friends, he came out the winner. -HIROSHIMA- cemented its place as the damnest finisher on the planet today, and Chandler cemented his place as one of the greatest wrestlers to ever grace an EWA ring.]

[For Chandler, for Diamante, and for the EWA: The doubters were quieted.]

[And now we go to the after party, at the residence of Chandler on Cross Lake in Shreveport. Four hundred of his friends and acquaintences have gathered to share thoughts about the match and the entire night, and shake the hand of the man that came out the winner. However, that winner has yet to enter the house himself... until now.]

[We cut to an exterior "security" shot of the exterior of Chandler's house, and slowly a superlong jetblack Ford Expedition creeps onto the grounds. The doors in the car open, and "Walk" by Pantera begins to blast over its speakers. First members of the NfS [Niggaz from Shreveport] come out of the car, and the people at the party begin to look at the automobile...]

[Next, several EWA wrestlers and personalies climb out of the car, including The Informer, Vic Canon, Cody Covington, The Hustler, and Hacker. They go mingle with the people, and as the song reaches its chourus...]

[...From doors on either side of the Expedtion, Nomad from the passenger side and Serial Thrylla from the drivers side, two EWA legends emerge from the car. They walk a short ways, then both point back to the SUV...]

[...The Expedition drops down low and none other than Chandler sticks his whole body out of the sunroof. He has an original Coors in each hand and several bandages covering his body. He looks around at the people and screams a few words...]

Chandler - FUUUUUUUUUUCKIN AYYYYEEE!!!!! WHO'S THE SHIT?!?!?!? WHOS THE FUCKIN SHIT?!?!?!?!?!

[The people at the party all appluad Chandler, as he meets with Thrylla and Nomad and they enter the party...]

[Then we cut to an interior view of the goings-on, presumably 15 minutes or so later, where Thrylla is tearing it up on the one's and two's, a few people are dancing on the lower roof, and a large crowd of people are gathered around Chandler.]

Vic Canon - Great match man, great match. Best I've ever had the privelage of calling. Best of luck in the future, ya here?

Chandler - Thanks Vic, glad to see you were entertained. Me and FAT CANADIAN BASTARD did put on one hell of a show, didn't we.

Vic Canon - Yup. Welp, I'm hittin' the beer. Take care, Chandler.

Chandler - Thanks man....

Voice - CCCCCCCHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAANNNNNDDDDDLLLLLUUUUUUHHHHHH

Chandler - Halt, who goes there?

[Running in from the front hallway is none other than EWA [kinda] legend Death Row, with his "HOORIDE" shirt and 4 or 5 of them imported real compton city ho's. He's got a Colt .45 malt in his left hand and is waving it around like the tru brudda that he is...]

Death Row - "Yo B, I'm hittin the fizood, word to ya motha, nig."

Chandler - Yeah man, you too.

[Chandler turns around to find Tom Stone standing in his face, like that old guy does to Johnathan Brandis in Sidekicks during the Brick Breaking tie breaker. 'Cept he doesn't have lighter fluid and all that shit.]

Tom Stone - Shake my hand

Chandler - ...

Tom Stone - Shake it

[...Chandler slowly extends his arm and shakes the arm of Tom Stone, EWA Owner and his rival for several years. Stone slowly walks out the door and the people in the house start a low chant... then louder... and louder.... until the roof nearly rumbles...]

Crowd - ...CHANDLER IS GOD, CHANDLER IS GOD, CHANDLER IS GOD, CHANDLER IS GOD...

[We fade to black...]