The Informer - WELCOME FANS, TO THE EWA'S TUESDAY NIGHT HEAT!!!!

Vic Canon - AND WE'RE LIVE FROM THE SAN JOSE ARENA IN SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA, FOR THE LAST TUESDAY NIGHT HEAT BEFORE OUR HUUUUUGE PAY PER VIEW, NO FEAR!

Eddie Sensation - Damn right! And I want to announce that last week, Tuedsay Night Heat broke the record for highest rated show on TV on a weekday! We ROCKED everyone else!

The Informer - Damn right, Eddie! And this week, we're hoping to do the same!

Vic Canon - How the hell are you going to do that when you have 2 jobber matches on the card?! Not to mention that one of them is our main event!

Eddie Sensation - Hell yeah! Diamante against Al Capone, and Chandler against MMG here tonight! And both matches are Submission Matches!

The Informer - You know something is going to happen there! These two are only 5 days away from possibly the BIGGEST match in their careers! Also tonight, we've got a Four Way Match between Cody Covington, The Hustler, Chris Jericho and Fallen Angel to determine the stipulations at the Pay Per View!

Vic Canon - Right... Also on the line tonight are the EWA Tag Team Titles, and the EWA North American Title! We've got The Iconz Of Perfection up against The Hustler and his mystery partner, AND Nomad verses Brink verses John Babcock for the North American Gold in a LADDER MATCH!!

Eddie Sensation - That's gonna be SWEET!

The Informer - All that, PLUS Serial Thrylla against Pegasus Warrior!

Vic Canon - Who knows when Thrylla is going to snap! Also on the card is Tom Stone against Zed in a "Traditional Greco Roman Wrestling Match"... Who knows what that's all about!

Eddie Sensation - Yup!!

The Informer - All that, and SO MUCH MORE!! Tonight is going to be HUGE! I CAN SENSE IT!! LETS GET STARED!

Lex Lethal - Yeah, it is the EWA and NO...I am in no way nervous about my debut match! Why would I be...I have Lorenzo Hayes and that nut War Cryme watching my back! And as if it matters any way...Brett Bomb...please!

Rachel Stevens - We've all watched your attacks on John Babcock lately, and tonight, he has a North American Title Match against 2 big names! Are you going to be at ringside for that match??

Lex Lethal - He has a big match tonight and you know...I really want to see him that win the match. It leaves him with the North American title...and leaves me to show that jack-ass that he can't fuck with me at any cost! Any make sure to look for me at ringside...of course!

Rachel Stevens - Also, this Sunday is NO FEAR! And I can't help but notice that you dont have a match! Any comments?

Lex Lethal - Only one comment...Babcock you challenged me to a match...well seeing that you are about become my BITCH, I only see fit that I make the match official! Babcock me and you...NO FEAR...for the North American title...in a FIRST BLOOD MATCH...if Brink and NoMaD don't kill you tonight!

Rachel Stevens - Well there you have it! Back to you guys at ringside!

["Wake Up" by Rage Against The Machine blasts through the speakers, as Brett Bomb steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... accompanied to the ring by Mark Shadow, standing 6'5" and weighing in at 273 pounds, from Staten Island, New York, Lex Lethal!

["Bow Down" by Westside Connection blasts through the speakers, as Mark Shadow and Lex Lethal step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - Well, it looks like we've got ourselves a battle of the rookies!

Vic Canon - Right... And what better way to find out which of the two are better then have a wrestling match?!

Eddie Sensation - Ha, Ha.... NO! Shut the hell up Vic!

The Informer - And there's the bell! This match is underway! Brett Bomb charges at Lex Lethal.... OH!! OH MY GOD!! SUPERKICK TO THE JAW!

Vic Canon - DID YOU SEE HIS NECK SNAP BACK?!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAH!! YUP!! AND DID YOU SEE THE WAY HIS HEAD BOUNCED OFF THE MAT?!

The Informer - Sure did.. Brett Bomb could have a concussion! But Lex Lethal doesn't care! He picks up Bomb... lifts him high! OH! BRAINBUSTER! Lethal goes for the cover... 1..... 2.... No! Brett Bomb gets his shoulder up!

Vic Canon - Lethal picks up Bomb... and throws him to the ropes! Brett Bomb bounces off the ropes.. he ducks a clothesline attempt! And now Lethal leap frog's over Bomb! Brett Bomb comes running back.. Oh! Knee to the stomach by Lethal! He sets him up......

Eddie Sensation - OH!!!!

The Informer - BIG POWERBOMB BY LEX LETHAL!

Vic Canon - I THINK THE RING MOVED!

Eddie Sensation - HA!!

The Informer - Lethal goes for the cover... the referee gets into position... 1.... 2..... Nnnnno! Brett Bomb got his foot on the bottom rope just in time!

Vic Canon - Wow.. I'm impressed by both Lex Lethal and Brett Bomb! Lethal is delivering all the pain, but Brett Bomb won't stay down!

Eddie Sensation - Yup! And now Lethal is getting ready for some more offence!

The Informer - Lex Lethal bounces off the ropes... Brett Bomb gets to his feet, and scoops up Lethal.... OH!!! SAMOAN DROP!!

Vic Canon - And now both men are down!

Eddie Sensation - Well they better hurry up, cause the ref is counting them out!

The Informer - He's at a 4 count, and Brett Bomb is on one knee! But Lex Lethal is also making his way to his feet!

Vic Canon - They're both up! Brett Bomb grabs Lethal.... SPINEBUSTER! NO!! LEX LETHAL REVERSED IT INTO A SPINNING DDT!! WOW!! WHAT A MOVE!

Eddie Sensation - Pin attempt! 1... 2.... OH! Just out!

The Informer - Lex Lethal is back on his feet... and he throws Brett Bomb to the corner! ....Lethal follows him in..... OH!!! TORNADO DDT!!

Vic Canon - Wait a minute... Look! It's John Babcock! John Babcock is making his way to the ring, with a baseball bat!

Eddie Sensation - Uh oh!! Time for a home run derby!

The Informer - Lex Lethal goes for the cover... The ref counts, 1... 2..... Uh oh!! Lethal saw Babcock coming to the ring, and he got off of Brett Bomb! Lethal could have had the match won!

Vic Canon - This is going to be interesting! John Babcock is at ringside, with a baseball bat, and Lex Lethal is in the ring staring at him!

Eddie Sensation - HEY! LOOK! BRETT BOMB IS UP!! LOOK OUT LETHAL!

The Informer - Uh oh! Brett Bomb is inching closer to Lex Lethal! OH SHIT!! BRETT BOMB HAS LEX LETHAL'S ARMS HELD BACK, AND JOHN BABCOCK IS NOW ON THE RING APRON, READY TO NAIL LETHAL WITH THAT BAT!

Vic Canon - ........OH!!!! OH NO!!! LETHAL DUCKED, AND BABCOCK NAILED BRETT BOMB!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!!

The Informer - LEX LETHAL NAILS BABCOCK IN THE FACE, AND HE GOES FLYING TO THE OUTSIDE! NOW LEX LETHAL IS GOING FOR THE COVER!! THE REF COUNTS..... 1....... 2...... 3!!!

Vic Canon - WOW!! LEX LETHAL HAS WON THE MATCH, BUT YOU HAVE TO GIVE SOME OF THE CREDIT TO JOHN BABCOCK!

Chris Myers - And the winner of this match, Lex Lethal!

Eddie Sensation - Uh oh! Babcock is back on the apron! This isn't good!!

The Informer - These two are going to get it on, RIGHT NOW!!

Vic Canon - Aaawww shit! Here comes a load of officials! They're breaking them up before they even started!

Eddie Sensation - DAMMIT! I WANTED TO SEE THIS BRAWL!

The Informer - What do you think guys?? Was that swing of the bat a message to Lex Lethal, accepting the match for the Pay Per View?

Vic Canon - I have no clue, but I'm sure we'll find out sooner then later!

Eddie Sensation - Well, a baseball bat does draw blood... so, SURE! That could have been a message!

The Informer - Sorry fans, but we've gotta take a short commercial break! Don't go anywhere!

Female Teller - NEXT!

[Zed walks up to the counter, and slams a cheque on the counter. The amount is censored out by the EWA...]

Zed - I'd like to cash this...

Female Teller - Sorry sir, but we don't cash cheques on Tuesdays!

Zed - What kind of bullshit is that?! Okay.. Fine. I'd like to deposit it, and take the same amount out!

Female Teller - Sure... we can do that.. Hold on one sec..

Zed - Yeah yeah, hurry up.. I dont have all day.

[The woman walks over to another counter, and does whatever she has to do. Several minutes later, she walks back to the counter...]

Female Teller - Sorry sir, but this cheque has bounced!

Zed - WHAT?! Try again!

Female Teller - I did sir... several times. The cheque is no good!

Zed - Well, thats pretty messed up. I wonder how--

[Suddenly, Zed face turns red...]

Zed - STONE.....

[The scene fades to black.....]

Don Michaels - Free ride?!?! Any last words? I don't like your choice of words; it sounds a little disrespectful. Listen and learn DiMarco, you're nothing but a nameless extra in the grand prduction soon to be called The $uperstar Don Michaels takes over the EWA. You can be easily replaced by any talentless goon that knows how to hold a microphone, so you better take a "free ride" on the Don Michaels bandwagon before I ask if you have "any last words!". Now as to my warmup ASPIRIN, this kid isn't the world class athlete that I am. He doesn't have my peerless intellect, and there is no way in hell his skillz compare with mine. What's about to happen tonight is going to be the most one sided match since Bundy vs SD Jones. DiMarco, expect to see alot of poses tonight.

Rob DiMarco - Last week, we all saw and heard your opening interview, and to say the least... you made a lot of enemies! Any comments?

Don Michaels - Much better DiMarco, you learn quick. There might be a role for you in my grand production. As for wrestlers reactions to my bombshell........ well you know what they say: the truth hurts. Anyone who's ever seen me in action knows that I do things "My Way". I say what I feel, when I feel, however I feel. If anyone's angry or upset, I really don't care. I'm the man that the whole world recognizes, I'm the man with the eight figure checking account... in a nutshell..... I'm "The $uperstar" Don Michaels, and they aren't. So player haters, if you feel offended then don't hide in the shadows, step into *my* spotlight, get your Autograph, and then get stretchered out as another member of my ever growing fan club. Now DiMarco, I've got a massacre to attend, don't call me, I'll call you.

Rob DiMarco - Well, lets get this one started! Back to you guys at ringside!

["Hangman Jury" by Aerosmith blasts through the speakers, as Arthryn steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... accompanied to the ring by Jeanine Trujillo, standing 6'3" and weighing in at 249 pounds, from Brooklyn, New York, "The $uperstar" Don Michaels!

["My Way" by Frank Sinatra blasts through the speakers, as Jeanine Trujillo and "The $uperstar" Don Michaels step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - Well, this should be a good one... Don Michaels has been running his mouth since he got here. Now is his chance to put some money where is mouth is!

Vic Canon - Exactly Informer. But I've heard from my sources that Michaels is a GREAT wrestler! I can't wait to find out for myself!

Eddie Sensation - Ahhhh shut up Vic... You have no sources!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by The Posse, standing 6'5" and weighing in at 250 pounds, from Brooklyn, New York, Iceberg Slim!

[Suddenly, "Glaciers of Ice" by Raekwon blasts through the speakers, as Iceberg Slim is seen steping out from behind the curtain. He walks towards the ring along side "Uncle" Paulie, "Fat" Tony, Mustafa, and Charlie Black... also known as "The Posse".]

The Informer - What's going on here?!

Vic Canon - I guess we're going to have some guest commentating!

Eddie Sensation - SWEET! Hopefully we can add some humor to this dull show...

The Informer - Yeah, right...

Vic Canon - Hello Iceberg! Glad you could join us!

Iceberg Slim - Wassup, fellas. It's great to join one of the best feds in the business. And when to comes to the best, the Iceman never settles for less, na' mean.

Eddie Sensation - Umm, yeah! There's the bell!

Vic Canon - Oh! Arthryn comes out strong with a quick clothesline! Michaels gets back up... Drop Kick by Arthryn! And Michaels is now backing off into a corner!

The Informer - Well Iceberg... We know about your history with Don Michaels, so it's no secret that he's the reason you're out here!

Iceberg Slim - History, Informer? You'll find out like every other $4.50 an hour-earning hillbilly out here� all in time, brotha. All in due time. But right now, Don better start getting' his head in this match, before his ass is HISTORY!

Vic Canon - Good point! Arthryn and Michaels lock up! Don Michaels whips Arthryn to the ropes... Arthryn ducks a clothesline attempt, and bounces back! OH!! Michaels just grabbed Arthryn by the hair, and tried to throw him over the top rope! But Arthryn held on, and now he's standing on the apron!

Eddie Sensation - "The $uperstar" Don Michaels charges at Arthryn... HAHAHA!! Arthryn pulled the rope down, and Michaels went flying to the outside!

The Informer - LOOK OUT!! THE POSSE HAVE RUN OVER TO MICHAELS, AND ARE BEATING ON HIM!!!

Vic Canon - LOOK AT THIS INTERFERENCE!! COME ON REF!!

Iceberg Slim - What tha hell you talkin' about, Canon? What INTERFERENCE!? My Posse is just helping Michaels up. You know what I'm sayin'?

The Informer - Yeah, helping him up just so they can whip him RIGHT INTO THE STEEL STAIRS!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAH!!! I LOVE IT!!! The Posse are moving up on my list!

Vic Canon - The Posse now throw Don Michaels into the ring... And look at Arthryn! He's standing over Michaels with his hands in the air! OH PLEASE BUDDY!!

Eddie Sensation - Easy there Vic... Don't cry!

The Informer - Arthryn picks him up to his feet... OH!! KNEE TO THE GUT BY MICHAELS! Michaels scoops him up..... OOOH!! BIG POWERSLAM!!

Vic Canon - And now Don Michaels is making his way to the top rope!! He better hurry up, because Arthryn is on his feet! ...Michaels jumps!! OH!!!

Eddie Sensation - Wow, offense from Don Michaels!

Iceberg Slim - He calls that move, the Director's Cut! Seems like he about to set this big dummy up for�

Vic Canon - �yup, the Autograph! Arthryn better snap out of it, or he's done!

[Suddenly, a loud THUD is heard, as Iceberg Slim takes off his headset and makes his way towards the ring...]

The Informer - WHAT THE HELL?!?! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!

Vic Canon - Michaels kicks him in the gut..... OH!! HE NAILED "THE AUTOGRAPH"!!!

Eddie Sensation - Michaels goes for the pin.... 1..... 2......

The Informer - NO!! ICEBERG SLIM JUST KICKED MICHAELS IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD!! THE REF IS CALLING FOR THE BELL!!

Chris Myers - The winner of this match as a result of a disqualification, "The $uperstar" Don Michaels!

Vic Canon - Iceberg Slim has Don Michaels on his feet! ......OH MAN!!! ICEBERG SLIM JUST NAILED HIM WITH "THE CHILL FACTOR"!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - DAMN!! I THINK HE BROKE HIS BACK ON THAT ONE!!!

The Informer - NOW CHECK OUT ICEBERG SLIM!! HE'S STANDING OVER DON MICHAELS, AND HE'S SLAPPING HIM IN THE FACE!! AGAIN!! AGAIN... AGAIN!!

Vic Canon - And he's not done yet!! Arthryn is now up, and he's holding Don Michaels in position for something!

Eddie Sensation - Uh oh.... I have a feeling something bad is gonna happen!!!

The Informer - I think they're setting up for Iceberg Slim's Straight Leg Jumping Side Kick!! His trademark move!!

Vic Canon - Iceberg Slim hits the ropes..... OH!! OH NO!! DON MICHAELS MOVED, AND ICEBERG SLIM NAILED ARTHRYN IN THE CHEST!!

Eddie Sensation - HA!! THEY'RE GONNA FIGHT!! THEY'RE GONNA FIGHT!!

The Informer - ARTHRYN IS UP, AND THESE TWO ARE FACE TO FACE, NOSE TO NOSE!!

Vic Canon - HERE COME A LOAD OF OFFICIALS!! Wait a minute... where's Don Michaels?!

Eddie Sensation - He's long gone! He's got 7 guys in the ring hunting for him! Why should he stick around?!?!

The Informer - Good point Eddie! ...These officials have now broken these two up. I dont think Arthryn is too happy!

Vic Canon - Well he has a right to be! He just got nailed with two signature moves, AND lost the match!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!!

The Informer - Lets send it backstage...

Tom Stone - God dammit, this is the USA!! How hard could it be to find some homeless reject?!

[Stone keeps walking, and finally finds someone!]

Tom Stone - Hey there, want to make some money, right now?!

Homeless Dude - How?

Tom Stone - Well, see this bag right here?

[Tom Stone pulls out a black gym back. The tag can read "Zed". Hmm... Zed's gym bag?]

Tom Stone - Well, I want you to.... releive yourself in it!

Homeless Dude - You want me to what?

Tom Stone - Fucking retards.... I want you to shit in it!!

Homeless Dude - HA!! YEAH RIGHT!

Tom Stone - Honestly! Just do it, and you get the cash!

Homeless Dude - Oh please... This has happened to me before. When I pull my pants down, you're going kick me in the ass and then leave! IM NOT STUPID!!!

Tom Stone - JUST DO IT DAMMIT!! I HAVE YOUR MONEY RIGHT HERE!

[Stone pulls out One Hundred Dollars.]

Homeless Dude - WOW! THAT'S A LOT!!

Tom Stone - Yes, it is... Now do your stuff!

Homeless Dude - NO! I still dont trust you! Let me hold the money while I do it!

Tom Stone - Okay, FINE! But dont get any ideas! Because you see that car over there?? [Points to his car.]... It's A LOT faster then you are!

Homeless Dude - Yeah yeah! Gimme the money, and let me do what I have to do!

[Stone hands him the money, and takes a few steps back while the man "does his thing" in the bag. How bad is it?? Well.. Just the sounds alone could make you puke...]

Homeless Dude - Alright... I'm done! Nice doing business with ya!

Tom Stone - Yeah... whatever...

[Stone plugs his nose, and grabs the bag. He quickly makes his way to his car, and drives away...]

Hacker - It's absolute crap. Stone lets me in the building and instead of taking a match away from me. He gives me a match that I can't win. I may have killedthe Dungeon Masters on my own and lost due to interference but Disharmony will get chopped up tonight.

Rob DiMarco - Do you think this is Stone's way of getting at you?? Do you think he'll be at ringside tonight?

Hacker - Hell yes this is a way that Stone is getting back at me. You have to be a fuckin' retard not to see that. Stone is gonna try to screw me over like Shane Douglas did in the FWF and like Devon Roberts did in BLW. It isn't gonna work and Stone better keep his big fat canadian nose away from ringside tonight or I will take him out.

Rob DiMarco - Back to you guys at ringside!

["Counterfeit" by Limp Bizkit blasts through the speakers, as Hacker steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And his opponents... at a total combined weighing of 581 pounds, Dimitrius Bastard and "Wild Thing" Brodie Larson, Suburban Disharmony!

["Suburban Life" by The Kottonmouth Kings blasts through the speakers, as Suburban Disharmony step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - This isn't going to be pretty for Hacker, to say the least!

Vic Canon - Yeah, seriously! ANYONE who has to fight Suburban Disharmony alone are in for some trouble!

Eddie Sensation - HA! HACKER JUST FLEW AT DIMITRIUS BASTARD, AND HE NAILED HIM WITH A CLOTHESLINE!!! HAHAHA! THAT WAS CLASSIC!

The Informer - Hacker turns to Brodie Larson, and kicks him right in the chest! Larson goes flying! Hacker turns around, and grabs Dimitrius Basta--OH!!!! LOW BLOW BY BASTARD!!

Vic Canon - Dimitrius Bastard grabs Hacker.... Larson gets in place! OOOOOOH!!! POUGHKEEPSIE MASSACRE!!! THEY NAILED IT!!! HACKER IS DONE!!!

Eddie Sensation - DAMN, THAT WAS QUICK!!!

The Informer - Larson goes for the cover... 1.... 2..... 3!!! This one is over!

Vic Canon - Wow, that didn't take long at all!

Chris Myers - And the winners of this match, Suburban Disharmony!

Eddie Sensation - They look.... sorta, PISSED! Dont ask me why.. they're walking out here in a hurry, without celebration or anything!

The Informer - Well, if that was to prove that they are worthy of the Tag Team Titles, then they got their point across!

Vic Canon - I'd think so!

Eddie Sensation - How do you figure?! THAT WAS A HANDICAP MATCH!!! YOU IDIOTS!!!

The Informer - Shaddup Eddie....

Eddie Sensation - Oh my God!! It's Al Capone!!

The Informer - IT'S BEEN YEARS SINCE WE'VE SEEN AL CAPONE HERE IN THE EXTREME WRESTLING ASSOCIATION!

Al Capone - Hello, Nick� I'm Al Capone, your opponent for tonight!

[Nick looks up at Capone for a minute, smirks and continues to tape his wrists�]

Nick Diamante - Yeah, I've heard a lot about you. [Laughs]

Al Capone - All good, I hope! But listen, I'm here in the spirit of competition! And everyone knows what a competitor I am!

Vic Canon - Unfortunately�

Al Capone - Diamante, I know that when you think "Al Capone" you think about the most feared move in wrestling! THE TOMMY GUN DDT!

[Huge pop from the fans out in the arena�]

Al Capone - But I must warn you, tonight� the Tommy Gun DDT won't be my primary weapon!

[Nick begins to look up at Capone in disgust�]

Nick Diamante - Why are you still talking?

Eddie Sensation - HA!

Al Capone - That's not a shred of cockiness that I've picked up in your voice, is it?

[Diamante looks at Capone with a strange look on his face�]

Nick Diamante - What do you want??

Al Capone - As an honest sportsman, I am here to warn you that tonight� I have every intention of making you tap out in our Submission Match! So please, prepare yourself accordingly!

The Informer - Oh God�

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! AL CAPONE� MAKE DIAMANTE TAP OUT??? HAHAHAH!!! YEAH RIGHT!!!!

[Diamante stands up with an annoyed look on his face�]

Nick Diamante - Listen� CAPONE. Around here, you're notorious for being the most pathetic preliminary wrestler in the game! I mean, MY GOD! YOU'RE LACK OF SUCCESS HAS ACTUALLY BUILT YOU A CULT FOLLOWING OVER THE LAST 2 YEARS!

[The crown in attendance begins a "Tommy Gun" chant�]

Nick Diamante - But I want you to understand something�

[Nick, in an act of rage, grabs Capone by the collar with both hands and shoves him up against a wall�]

Vic Canon - NO! HE'S GOT CAPONE BY THE THROAT!

Nick Diamante - THIS IS NO JOKE, AND YOU DON'T WANT TO PISS ME OFF MORE THAT I ALREADY AM! UNDERSTOOD?

[Diamante shoves Capone to the floor on his ass�]

Nick Diamante - NOW GET OUT!

The Informer - Can you believe this?? Diamante is a brute! A bully! And nothing more!

Eddie Sensation - HA! I love it!

[Capone gets to his feet�]

Al Capone - Fine, Mr. Diamante� you be like that! You've pre-written your destiny in the Extreme Wrestling Association's history books! Because tonight, you will� go down� TO THE TOMMY GUN DDT!

[Diamante begins to step forward and Al Capone scoots out the door in fear of his life�]

Nick Diamante - �Idiot!

[The camera takes us back into the arena to a shot of the crowd�]

The Informer - My goodness! What an incident we had there! Vic, what do you think of Al Capone's return to the EWA?

Vic Canon - Where did they find him??

Eddie Sensation - I understand he was working in a fish market! No joke!

The Informer - Funny, cause I heard the same thing�

Vic Canon - Well, I hope he learned his trade in the fish market� because he's in for the challenge of this life tonight against one mean, mad Nick Diamante!

Eddie Sensation - HA! To say the least!

The Informer - It'll be interesting to say the least, but right now, we have a lot more action lined up for tonight! So let's get to it!

The Hustler - Yes, Rob. Tonight, you all shall see the long awaited announcement of my mystery partner for this tag title tourney. Beforehand, I never needed my partner, because, well frankly, I could beat the teams I faced with ease by myself. Tonight though, the Iconz of Perfection are probably the best team in the EWA today, so I think I'll need a little help destroying them in the ring tonight. And trust me Rob, it'll be a shocker.

Rob DiMarco - How interested are you in these Tag Team Titles?? Are you trying to the best of your ability, or did you just fluke off that first match??

The Hustler - Rob, every match I go into, I put everything I am into it. It's all or nothing with me, so I'm doing my best to win this match. I threw my hat into this tourney because at that time, I was interested in getting into the tag team circuit again, but tonight, I just want to win, and the titles will be the cherry on top. I'm looking forward to a great match that I'm sure will be competitive, and that's about it. To get these titles would be great, they would be my 4th tag team championship, but if I don't succeed, I won't feel bad about it all, cause I'll have lost to a great team that deserves the title as much as I do.

Rob DiMarco - Over to you Rachel!

Lorenzo Hayes - First of all Rachel you are looking very nice tonight.

Rachel Stevens - [Stunned] Why thank you Lorenzo.

Lorenzo Hayes - You're very welcome. It's great that you don't look like a skank, it's got to be the first time ever! [Laughs] So Rachel you wanna know how easy this match is going to be for the IconZ of Perfection? Well first of all, just take a look at me! [Lorenzo flexes his muscle, and then kisses it.] and then take a look at the man with the rock solid body next to me in WaR CrYmE; Rachel think your question over again, and you will realize that you are a big ditzy idiot! Honestly what kind of question was that Rachel?!? The IconZ of Perfection are going to steam roll right through this match tonight, we are going to make it look easier than taking candy from a baby, and Rachel we will be collecting the EWA tag straps in the progress! What do you think about that one Rachel?

Rachel Stevens - I think you sound very self-confident!

Lorenzo Hayes - Well wouldn't you, when you are going 2-1 against a no-talent panzy ass? Exactly, I'm going to answer that one for you Rachel because that simply is a no brainer! Tonight the best tag team in the EWA will prevail and walk out with the gold, and that tag team will be WaR CrYmE and myself. It really does not matter if Hustler has found himself a friend, because right now nothing can stop us. Rachel I have one fear going into this match, and you know what that is?

Rachel Stevens - No what?

Lorenzo Hayes - My fear is that I break a sweat, because if I do; I will not look as "PiCtUre PeRfEcT" as expected, for all the camera's who will be taking pictures of the new EWA tag champs; The IconZ of PerfectioN!

Rachel Stevens - Well thanks for your intresting input Lorenzo! Also, we've seen "Hells Henchmen" watch every match in this tournament. Obviously, they're interested in the Tag Team Titles. Do you think they'll get involved in tonights match, since it is for the gold??

WaR CrYmE - Well... skank, first of all let me tell you this, The IconZ of PerfectioN, are unstoppable. It doesnt matter if Hell's Henchman have been watching us every match, they havent done jack shit to the IconZ and if they have half the brains im hoping they do, then they will never cross Lorenzo and myself. I have no doubt in my mind that they're after the gold Rachel, but as long as The IconZ are here, theres no way in "Hell" that they are going to be the Tag Champs. Because Lorenzo and Myself, well were just "PiCtUrE PeRfEcT!!!".

Rachel Stevens - Lets send it to ringside!

["Raw" by Staind blasts through the speakers, as The Iconz of Perfection step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And their opponents... First, standing 6'4" and weighing in at 242 pounds, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, The Hustler!

["Walk" by Pantera blasts through the speakers, as The Hustler steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - OH NO!! THE HUSTLER JUST CHARGED AT THE ICONZ OF PERFECTION!! I GUESS HE'S NOT WAITING FOR HIS PARTNER!!

Vic Canon - Dumb move, if you ask me!

Eddie Sensation - Exactly! Look at Hustler! He's getting demolished already!

The Informer - WaR CrYmE and Lorenzo Hayes are punching and kicking at The Hustler! They lift him up to his feet....... OH GOD!!!!! POWERBOMB INTO A NECKBREAKER!!!

Vic Canon - WOW!! WHAT A MOVE!!!

Eddie Sensation - THE HUSTLER IS IN TROUBLE NOW!!

The Informer - Uh oh!! The Iconz Of Perfection are calling for their move!! PICTURE PERFECT!! Lorenzo Hayes is climbing to the top rope...

Vic Canon - WaR CrYmE sets up Hustler on his shoulders....... YYYYYYES!!! THEY NAILED IT!!!!!

[Suddenly, "Calm Like A Bomb" by Rage Against The Machine blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - And his partner! Standing 6'4" and weighing in at 304 pounds, from Indianapolis, Indiana, The Wildman!

[The Wildman steps out from behind the curtain and runs towards the ring at high speed!]

Eddie Sensation - WHAT?!?! THE WILDMAN?!?!

The Informer - THE WILDMAN IS HIS PARTNER?!?! OH MY!!! WE HAVEN'T SEEN THE WILDMAN SINCE.... SINCE.....

Vic Canon - SINCE NICK DIAMANTE HUNG HIM!!!

Eddie Sensation - THE WILDMAN IS IN THE RING, AND THE ICONZ OF PERFECTION ARE WAITING FOR HIM!!!

The Informer - LORENZO CHARGES AT WILDMAN.... CLOTHESLINE!! WAR CRYME RUNS IN..... CLOTHESLINE!!

Vic Canon - LORENZO HAYES IS BACK UP!! THE WILDMAN SETS HIM UP.... OOOH!! SPINEBUSTER!! WAR CRYME CHARGES THE WILDMAN....... ANOTHER BIG SPINEBUSTER!!

Eddie Sensation - AHHH!!! THE WILDMAN IS CLEARING THE RING!!

The Informer - LORENZO HAYES IS UP.... OH!!! WILDMAN CLOTHESLINES HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!!! ......AND THERE GOES WAR CRYME AS WELL!!

Vic Canon - LISTEN TO THIS CROWD!! THEY'RE LOVING THE WILDMAN!!!

Eddie Sensation - Uh oh! The Hustler is up! This is gonna be strange!

The Informer - The Wildman is sticking out his hand in a handshake type way to The Hustler! And The Hustler accepts it!! WOW!! WHAT A TEAM!!

Vic Canon - ....OH NO!!! NO!!! NOOO!!! THE WILDMAN JUST NAILED THE HUSTLER WITH THE ATOMIC DEATH DROP!!!

Eddie Sensation - AHAHAHAAHAHA!!! WHAT A SET UP!! AND NOW THE WILDMAN IS LEAVING!!

The Informer - LORENZO HAYES AND WAR CRYME ARE GETTING BACK INTO THE RING!! WAR CRYME GRABS HUSTLER, AND HOISTS HIM ON HIS SHOULDERS!! LORENZO GOES TO THE TOP ROPE........

Vic Canon - .....YYYES!!! THEY NAILED IT!! PICTURE PERFECT!! PICTURE PERFECT!! LORENZO HAYES IS GOING FOR THE COVER.... 1....... 2...... 3!!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - YES!! NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!! NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!

Chris Myers - The winners of this match, and NEW EWA Tag Team Champions, The IconZ of PerfectioN!

The Informer - YOU SAID IT EDDIE, IT WAS A SET UP!! BUT THESE FANS ARE STILL GOING CRAZY FOR THE WILDMAN!!

Vic Canon - WHAT THE HELL WAS THIS ALL ABOUT THOUGH?!?! WHAT DOES THE WILDMAN HAVE AGAINST THE HUSTLER?!?!

Eddie Sensation - Wait a minute... Who the hell is that?!

The Informer - OH MY GOD!!!! IM SHITTING MY PANTS HERE!!! EL GIGANTE AND MOOCHIE "THE DISGRUNTLED MEXICAN" HAVE JUST JUMPED OVER THE GUARD RAIL!! THEY'RE GOING STRAIGHT FOR THE ICONZ OF PERFECTION, WHO ARE CELEBRATING ON THE OUTSIDE!!!

Vic Canon - WHAT WERE THEY AGAIN?!?!

Eddie Sensation - MOOCHIE, OR SOMETHING!!

The Informer - THEY'RE "THE MEXICAN CONNECTION"!!! OHHH!! MOOCHIE JUST CLOTHESLINED WAR CRYME INTO THE CROWD!! EL GIGANTE KICKS LORENZO HAYES IN THE GUT....... SPIKE PILEDRIVER!! MY GOD!!!

Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!! THERE'S HELLS HENCHMEN!! THEY'RE RUNNING THROUGH THE CROWD! AND NOW THEY'VE GOT WAR CRYME!! MY GOD FANS, THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH GOING ON AT ONCE!!!

Eddie Sensation - AHHHHHH!!! HERE COME SUBURBAN DISHARMONY!!!! THERE'S LIKE, 10 GUYS OUT HERE!!! THIS IS CRAZY!!!

The Informer - THE WILDMAN IS IN THE RING, SITTING ON THE TOP ROPE, WAITING FOR THE HUSTLER! AND THESE 4 TAG TEAMS ARE OUT HERE HAVING ONE HUGE BRAWL!!!! WE HAVE TO TAKE A COMMERCIAL BREAK!!! DON'T GO AWAY!!!

Vic Canon - Welcome back to Tuesday Night Heat folks! We've got everything under control now, and all 4 teams are backstage!

Eddie Sensation - BUUUUUUT!!!!!

The Informer - BUT, The Wildman is still sitting on the top rope, and The Hustler is still out!

Eddie Sensation - HA! What a wimp!

Vic Canon - Eddie... If you took the moves he got nailed with, you'd be out even longer!!

The Informer - Shhhh... Wildman has a mic!

The Wildman - Bring it down!!

Vic Canon - Bring what down?? .....OH NO!!! NO!!!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!! IT'S A NOOSE!!!

The Informer - AND NOT JUST A NORMAL NOOSE!! IT'S A BARBED WIRE NOOSE!! GET SOME HELP OUT HERE NOW, BEFORE ANYTHING HAPPENS!! THIS MAN IS SICK!! WHO KNOWS WHAT HE'S GOING TO DO!!!

Vic Canon - AND LISTEN TO THIS CROWD!! THEY'RE LOVING IT!! EVERYONE IS ON THEIR FEET!!

Eddie Sensation - THESE SICK PEOPLE ACTUALLY WANT TO SEE A MAN GET HUNG BY HIS NECK!!! WHATS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!?!

The Wildman - You people wanna see this prick get hung out to dry?? You wanna see it??

The Informer - NO!! DONT DO IT!!!

Vic Canon - THE CROWD IS GOING CRAZY!!! I GUESS THAT'S A YES!!!!

Eddie Sensation - AND THE HUSTLER IS OUT COLD!! HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON! AND NOW HE HAS A BARBED WIRE NOOSE AROUND HIS THROAT!!!

The Wildman - You SURE you wanna see this??

The Informer - NOO!!! THEY'RE GOING ABSOLUTELY CRAZY!!! THEY REALLY WANT TO SEE THIS MAN GET HUNG!!!

Vic Canon - THESE PEOPLE ARE SICK!!!

Eddie Sensation - BUT NOT AS SICK AS THAT NUT IN THE RING!!

The Wildman - Wake up you shithead! I want you to be awake when I hang you out to dry like the sack of shit you are!!

The Informer - MY GOD, THESE PEOPLE ARE NUTS!! THEY'RE CHANTING "HANG HIM! HANG HIM!"

The Wildman - LIFT IT UP!!!!!!

Vic Canon - NOOOO!!! NOOOO!!!! DONT DO THAT!!!!! MY GOD!!!!! IT'S MOVING UP!!!!

Eddie Sensation - AHHHHH!!!!

The Informer - LOOK AT THE HUSTLER!! HE'S COME TO, AND HE'S TRYING TO GET LOOSE!! .......MY GOD!! HE'S BLEEDING!!! I THINK HE'S BLEEDING FROM THE NECK!!! HE COULD DIE UP THERE!

Vic Canon - NO, INFORMER!! HE'S GOT HIS HANDS IN FRONT OF HIS NECK, AND THE BARBED WIRE IS RIPPING AT THE FLESH ON HIS HANDS!! THE WILDMAN IS SICK!!!! ABSOLUTELY SICK!!! HE'S TRYING TO KILL THIS MAN!!!

Eddie Sensation - CHECK OUT THE WILDMAN!!! HE'S LAUGHING!!!

The Informer - OH MY GOD, NO!! NOOO!!!!!! THE HUSTLER IS NOW BEING LIFTED OFF THE MAT!! HE'S ABOUT 1 INCH OFF THE MAT!!! SOMEBODY STOP THIS!!!!!

The Wildman - You people reeeeaally wanna see this fuck die tonight?? You reeeeaaally want me to hang him??

[The crowd lets out a LOUD roar! They REALLY want to see The Hustler get hung!]

The Wildman - WELL THAT'S TOO BAD YOU FUCKERS!! I'M NOT GONNA DO IT!!

Vic Canon - OH!! THANK GOD!!!!!

The Wildman - YOU WANNA SEE HUSTLER HUNG SO BAD, THEN DO IT YOUR DAMN SELVES, CAUSE I DON'T DO WHAT YOU PEOPLE WANT ANYMORE!! IT'S ALL ABOUT ME NOW, NOT YOU!! SO FUCK YOU, FUCK THIS, AND FUCK OFF, CAUSE THE WILDMAN ISN'T YOUR FUCKING PAWN ANYMORE!!!

Eddie Sensation - HUH?! DID I MISS SOMETHING?!

The Informer - WHAT THE HELL IS THIS MAN TALKING ABOUT?!?! I THINK HE'S SICK!! THIS MAN HAS MENTAL PROBLEMS!!!

The Wildman - Lower the damn noose!! NOW!!

Vic Canon - WELL THANK GOD!! THIS NOOSE IS BEING LOWERED, AND THE HUSTLER IS BACK DOWN ON THE MAT!!

Eddie Sensation - HA!! LISTEN TO THESE FANS!! A FEW SECONDS AGO, THEY WERE LOVING THIS GUY!! NOW THEY'RE BOOING THE HELL OUT OF HIM!!! IT'S HURTING MY EARS!!!

The Informer - I dont get it, guys! Why did he spare The Hustler's life?? Just because the crowd wanted him to hang him?? Because he doesn't do what the fans want him to do anymore?? What the hell?? What does all this mean??

Vic Canon - I have no idea, Informer! The Wildman is making his way out of here... HE SHOULD BE ARRESTED FOR THIS!!!

Eddie Sensation - NEVERMIND THAT, HE SHOULD BE GIVEN THE DEATH PENALTY!!! HAHAHAHA!!!

The Informer - Fans, we've got to take a commercial break! Don't go anywhere!

Rob DiMarco - Welcome back to Tuesday Night Heat fans! Earlier this week, Reckless continued his terrorism of Thrylla. This week at the annual National Letter Carriers Food Drive in Syracuse, Serial Thrylla was on hand to collect cans for the less fortunate.. and well, Reckless decided to show up... Just take a look.

Man #1 - Isn't is great to see an athlete the caliber of Serial Thrylla still taking time out to help the less fortunate?

Man #2 - It is definitely a welcome change.

[The camera cuts to Serial Thrylla taking cans from a kid.]

Kid - Thrylla, you're my favorite wrestler! Can I have your autograph?

Serial Thrylla - Sure. Who should I make it out to?

Kid - Willy!

Serial Thrylla - Ok... [Reads aloud as he writes...] To Willy, don't let Reckless fondle your balls... Best Wishes, Serial Thrylla.

Willy - Thanks!

Serial Thrylla - No, thank you for the food!

[As the boys walks away, Serial Thrylla tosses the cans in the truck.]

Serial Thrylla - More cream corn!?! Damn, all these people give me here is cream corn and string beans! Get diarrea if you eat all this shit...

[Thrylla turns back to the crowd.]

Serial Thrylla - Why hello there young lady.

[Suddenly, loud music and a revving engine can be heard. A dark blue Mustang Convertible comes into view. "Last" by Nine Inch Nails is heard blasting on the radio. Out of the Mustang steps the Hardcore Superstar, Reckless. He has a couple cans in his hands, and begins shoving people out of his way. He reaches the front of the line and stands face to face with Serial Thrylla.]

Serial Thrylla - Do you ever give up? Closet Rapist Annonymous must have gotten out early today.

Reckless - Very funny bitch. Food drive eh? Well, looks like I got some cans for ya!

[Reckless holds up two cans of SPAM. He then proceeds to hit Serial Thrylla over the head with them both.]

Reckless - Take that, you Robin Hood motherfucker!

[Reckless grabs some more cans out of the truck and begins bludgeoning Thrylla with them. He then drags Thrylla up, and goes for a short-arm clothesline. Thrylla ducks, then grabs Reckless from behind. Thrylla German suplexes Reckless into a crate full of kiwi fruit.]

Reckless - [Speaking slowly, barely conscious, and covered in juice...] What the fuck are kiwis doing here??

Serial Thrylla - Make sure you cover all the bases of the food pyramid! [Pours a bottle of Metamusil over the head of Reckless.]

[Disgruntled postal workers pull Serial Thrylla off of Reckless, as the camera fades to black.]

Nomad - Well, quite franky this is a load of bullshit. From the second I stepped back into the EWA, I've had my eyes on the EWA International Title. I kicked Dino Delsucky's ass over and over again, and he met his Journey's End not once, but twice. This Sunday, that fucking title is mine. In less than a month, I proved to the world that I deserve that title more than anyone else in this company. What's with the North American Title?! This is a strap that serves one purpose and one purpose only: To crown the King of the Jobbers. Every so often it has served as a stepping stone to bigger and better things, and given young talent the opportunity to shine. But please....John Babcock?! He sounds like an extra in a 70's porno flick.

Rachel Stevens - And what about your other opponent in this match, The Brink? You two go way back.

Nomad - Hell yes we do. Back in the day I was at the top of my game, defending the International Title again and again. Then this loser comes in and flounders amidst a roster jam-packed with talent. He disappeared, then came back in the form of Thrylla's number one lackey. He came into his own, capturing the title I once held so dear....the International Title. But as we all know, I beat him for that title. I BEAT HIM. Who else has beaten him? No one. I am the first and only person to hold a victory over that little nancy-boy's head, and tonight I'm going for a repeat performance. You say I'm hanging on the Brink? Bullshit. Tonight, you're going over the edge.

Rachel Stevens - I can't help but notice that there's going to be a ladder in the ring! Next week at No Fear, you and Dino Delsante will have the first ever Ascent to Armageddon match! Do you think Dino will be at ringside for this match??

Nomad - I sure as fuck hope so. I hope he tries to interfere and kick my ass, so that I'll be able to drop him head-first from the top turnbuckle for the third time. He has to wake up and learn that he isn't in my league, and he never will be. He's living a dream, he's having delusions of grandeur 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. He's like Don Quixote, he thinks he's someone he's not. And at No Fear, I'm going to pull him from his dream. I'm going to tear away his illusion so fast it'll make him scream. I'm simply going to break him. Keep an eye on this match, Dino, because you're going to see how truly dangerous I can really be.

Rachel Stevens - Over to you Rob!

The Brink - [Ignores Rob]

Rob DiMarco - Uhh.. Brink? You there man?! HELLOOOO?

The Brink - [Continues Ignoring Rob]

Rob DiMarco - Umm.. Ok! Let's send it back to ringsi..

The Brink - GIVE ME THE FUCKING MIC NOW DIMARCO!

[Rob hands over the mic, and backs down.]

The Brink - Tonight, I am forced... no, let's say "Aloud" to go into that ring against two men. One of whom I know and love, and the other... is just a cock. Now, you may recognize the man that I know, as NoMaD and the other, as John Babcock.. And tonight, names WON'T mean shit..., past identitys DON'T mean shit..., and what they think didn't EVER mean shit. Now, I have no concern for my opponents, but I am concerned about WHY THE FUCK I am now involved with that gothic fuck, and the new phish. I'm going to blame it on Nick Diamante, I'm going to blame it on Dino Delsucky, and lastly I'm going to blame it on the EWA as a whole.

[Behind Brink, you can see "The Midget From Manchester" slowly walking up behind him on crutches, he gets within five feet from Brink, and begins to speak.]

Midget - [In a pathetically raspy voice] Brriiinnkk... You should not go out there tonight... bad things will happen... It is your destiny....

[Brink turns around, and looks down at the midget.]

The Brink - Midget...

Midget - Yes?

The Brink - SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

[Brink kicks the midget much like a football, as he flys back a good ten feet. Brink picks up the midget crutch, and throws it at him, before dusting himself off, and clearing his throat.]

The Brink - Alright.. now that shit's hit the boot.. You can finish your fucking interview DiMarco Polo.

Rob DiMarco - Umm.. yes sir...Thorn is not in action here tonight... And he's been silent all week! Do you think that he will break his silence tonight?

The Brink - Rob... You ever seen those Looney Tunes?

Rob DiMarco - Of course, everyone ha...

The Brink - ALRIGHT.. Now, what happens when say, Daffy Duck tells Porky Pig NOT to press the red button?

Rob DiMarco - He...

The Brink - EXACTLY. HE FUCKING PRESSES THE RED BUTTON! This situation reminds me alot of that exact cartoon... You see, you tell me that Thorn is not in action tonight... and hasn't been around all week... and you ask me if I think Thorn will show up tonight... Well Rob, I brought this JUST for you...

[Brink hands Rob a little plastic toy, of a red button.]

The Brink - NOW DON'T TOUCH THE RED BUTTON, fuzz nuts.

Rob DiMarco - [Gulp] Lets send it to ringside!

["Time Bomb" by Godsmack blasts through the speakers, as Nomad steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - Next... standing 6'6" and weighing in at 266 pounds, from Charlotte, North Carolina, The Brink!

["DescenT" by Fear Factory blasts through the speakers, as The Brink steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And finally... standing 6'9" and weighing in at 302 pounds, from Chicago, Illinois, the EWA North American Champion, "Mr. Homicide" John Babcock!

["Murder" by UGK blasts through the speakers, as the EWA North American Champion, "Mr. Homicide" John Babcock steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - Well guys, I have a feeling that something bad is going to happen in this match! I mean, we have 3 big feuds going on, and they are all jammed into one match! I have a feeling that this match wont run too smoothly!

Vic Canon - Exactly, Informer...

[Suddenly, "Down" by Stone Temple Pilots blasts through the speakers, as Dino Delsnte steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Eddie Sensation - WELL LOOK AT THAT!!!

The Informer - I could see it coming! Dino Delsnte is making his way out here for no reason known to me... And check out the look on Nomads face!

Vic Canon - It looks like Dino is making his way towards us! Oh great..

Eddie Sensation - I'm gonna tell him you said that Vic!

The Informer - Good evening Dino.. Welcome...

Dino Delsante - Thank you, Informer...Eddie, Vic. Been a while. Thanks for keeping my old seat.

Vic Canon - So, Dino, what's the reason you're out here?

Dino Delsante - Canon, I know that you're the weak link out here, but you're not stupid. Week in and week out, this jagoff Nomad has attacked me from behind, thrown me through tables, and just out and out pissed me off. Well, tonight, I want to see if this guy has any talent whatsoever. I want to see if he can actually hang with the "Pound for Pound Best Wrestler in the World."

Eddie Sensation - Oh, Dino... Just so you know, Vic isn't too happy that you're out here!

Dino Delsante - Doesn't surprise me. Men seem to get a little bit uptight whenever I'm around. And I don't mean like they do when Divine is around. I mean they get uptight because I'm that close to stealing their woman. So, how's your girl, Vic? Never mind. She's probably hanging around my dressing room door.

Eddie Sensation - YEAH!!

Vic Canon - OH!! BABCOCK JUST NAILED NOMAD WITH A CLOTHESLINE!

Dino Delsante - A Clothesline. Nomad thinks he can get at me! He can't duck a clothesline! HEY! YOU WANT THIS? YOU WANT THIS BELT?

The Informer - Easy guys... Dino, remember! You're out here to call a match! ...Babcock throws Nomad to the ropes! Nomad ducks a clothesline attempt! OH!! SUPERKICK BY THE BRINK NAILED NOMAD RIGHT IN THE JAW!

Vic Canon - What the hell is going on here? Double team on Nomad?!

Eddie Sensation - OH!! BABCOCK NAILS BRINK WITH A CLOTHESLINE OVER THE TOP ROPE!!

Vic Canon - I guess not...

Dino Delsante - Nomad better get up! John Babcock is making his way up the ladder!

The Informer - Babcock is on the second last step! ......NO!! NOMAD TIPS OVER THE LADDER, AND BABCOCK GOES CRASHING TO THE OUTSIDE!

Vic Canon - Hey! Check it out! Thorn is running towards the ring with a steel chair! ...The ref is over checking on Babcock, he doesn't see Thorn down here!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT BRINK!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!

The Informer - WHAM!!!! THORN JUST NAILED BRINK IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THAT STEEL CHAIR! AND NOW HE'S ROLLING HIM IN THE RING!!

Vic Canon - Nomad grabs Brink.... OHHH!! THE WANDERING!!! NOMAD NAILED HIM!! AND NOW HE'S PUTTING THE BRINK ON THE TOP ROPE!! THIS COULD BE IT!! NOMAD IS SETTING HIM UP FOR THE JOURNEY'S END!!!

Eddie Sensation - AHHHHHH!!!

Dino Delsante - Excuse me a second boys...

The Informer - WHAT?! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!

Dino Delsante - I'm going to do a little Wandering myself.

The Informer - GET BACK HERE DINO!!!

Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!! HERE COMES LEX LETHAL!! HE'S GOT A BASEBALL BAT!!! HE'S APPROACHING BABCOCK...... WHAM!!!! OH GOD!!! OH MY GOD!! BASEBALL BAT TO THE SPINE OF JOHN BABCOCK!! HE'S DOWN!! AND HE'S HURT!!

The Informer - OHHH!! DINO JUST NAILED NOMAD IN THE SPINE WITH HIS INTERNATIONAL TITLE!! NOMAD COLLAPSED TO THE MAT!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAHA!! KILL HIM DINO!!! TEACH HIM A LESSON!

The Informer - WAIT A MINUTE... HERE COMES THORN!! HE'S CLIMBING THE LADDER!! WHY THE HELL IS HE DOING THAT?! HE CAN'T WIN THIS MATCH!! HE'S NOT IN IT!!

Vic Canon - THORN IS STANDING ON THE TOP OF THAT LADDER!! LOOK AT THE LEGS OF THE LADDER SHAKE!!

Eddie Sensation - OH GOD!!! I THINK THORN IS GOING TO JUMP!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT GUY?!?!

The Informer - THATS WHAT I WANT TO KNOW!! HERE HE GOES!!!! .....OOOOOOH!!! OH MY GOD!! WE HAVEN'T SEEN THAT MOVE IN MONTHS!!!

Vic Canon - MY GOD... FANS, THORN JUST LEAPED OFF THE LADDER, WRAPPED HIS LEGS AROUND THE BRINK WHO WAS SITTING ON THE TOP ROPE, AND NAILED HIM WITH A HURACONRANNA!!! WHAT A MOVE!!!

Eddie Sensation - AND NOW BOTH GUYS ARE OUT COLD IN THE RING!! DINO AND NOMAD ARE BRAWLING HERE ON THE OUTSIDE, AND JOHN BABCOCK IS GETTING TO HIS FEET!

The Informer - Nomad and Brink better get up quick! Because Babcock is in the ring, and he's climbing up that ladder!

Vic Canon - Thorn is up, but he doesn't give a damn about Babcock! He's punching and kicking at The Brink!

Eddie Sensation - Uh oh!! Babcock is almost there! He's three steps away!

The Informer - Nomad and Dino are now fighting threw the crowd! OHH!!! DINO JUST THREW NOMAD INTO THE GUARDRAIL!!

Vic Canon - HE'S GOT IT!!!! BABCOCK HAS IT!! HE'S GOT THE TITLE!! BABCOCK WINS!!! MY GOD!! WHAT AN UPSET!!!

Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and STILL EWA North American Champion, "Mr. Homicide" John Babcock!

Eddie Sensation - OH MY GOD!!!!

[Standing in the ring over a beaten, hurting Brink, Thorn watches as John Babcock leaves the ring with his "precious" North American Championship, after winning a match he didn't deserve to win. Nomad and Dino are long gone, and Babcock is staggering up the on-ramp, in fear of what his fate might be if he hangs around for too long. Thorn steps on The Brink's chest as he walks across the ring and throws the ladder over the top rope and out of the ring. He then walks over to the side of the ring where he signals for a mic. Chris Meyers, being the lackey that he is, stands up and walks a mic over to Thorn.]

Thorn - Brink... Thou art holier.

Eddie Sensation - HA! Anyone's holier then Thorn's candy ass!!

The Informer - What the hell is Thorn doing?!?

Thorn - Thou art the holiest, Doth thou understand thy fate?

The Informer - Oh no...

[Thorn picks up The Brink's arm and starts to drag him to a turnbuckle. Thorn then precedes one arm after the other, to strap The Brink into perfect position for the Crown of Thorns. Once Brink is in position, Thorn starts to climb up the turnbuckle, one rope at a time. Once reaching the top rope, Thorn stands tall, looks across the crowd, throws his hands high into the air, and with one mighty leap, gives The Brink a new accessory to be proud of. Thorn stands up, brushes himself off for no apparent reason, and goes back to the mic.]

Thorn - Doth thou readith the bible? or knowith the history behind the Crown of Thorns? Didn't think so, thou art... ah fuck it... you are too damn stupid to read anything such as the bible. Well Brinky poo, I'm about to take you to Sunday School! You see, before Jesus was put upon the cross, something special happened to Jesus, something important happened to Jesus, something that would live on to be something great in Wrestling happened. Someone stole a page from my book, and nailed Jesus with the Crown of Thorns. Now, they didn't nail it onto him, no no no, it was just a figure of speech, like I just nailed your ass with the Crown of Thorns. Now if you didn't get the whole, crappy talking thing, and the little speech I just gave you, maybe, this next little diddy I thought up will help you realize your fate. Can somebody hook us up with some of that old skool Chandler shit?!

[The whole arena suddenly goes black. People hold up there lighters, and flash their red lasers on the ring. Moments later when the lights hit back on, Thorn and The Brink are gone, the only thing in the ring is the ladder that's propped up and there's a sign on the side of it that reads "Out To Lunch."]

Santoro - ZED!! YOU'RE FINALLY HERE!!

Zed - Yeah... Did you bring my bag to my lockerroom like I asked you to?

Santoro - YUP!

Zed - And did you guard it with your life like I asked you to?!

Santoro - Ummm, no....

Zed - YOU IDIOT!!! IF ANYTHING HAPPENED TO IT, I'LL KILL YOU!!!

Santoro - Oh come on! Nothing could have happened!

[The two continue walking until they finally reach Zed's room. They open the door, and see the bag on the table.]

Zed - Lucky, so far...

Santoro - Loosen up man!

[Zed lifts the bag, then notices it's a little heavy! He puts it down, and opens it...]

Zed - AAAWWWWWW MAN!!!!! WHAT A STENCH!!!!! GOD DAMN, ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!?!

Santoro - NO!! I SWEAR, I DIDN'T DO IT!!

Zed - GOD DAMN!! LETS GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!

[The two storm out of the locker room.]

Chandler - Give me...a fucking...break. What will I do? What the fuck are you injecting Rob? ...Dumbass...

Rob DiMarco - Later on tonight, Nick Diamante has a similar task to that of yours. He will face Al Capone in a Submission Match. Did you have anything to do with that match being signed? Or in getting Al Capone back into the EWA?

Chandler - Maybe. Watch the "Nicky D Retires" shit again. Oh how ye forgets the past, you fucking mark.

Rob DiMarco - This Sunday, No Fear... the EWA's first ever "I RESPECT YOU!" Match! You made the challenge a few weeks ago, and how are you feeling going into this match on Sunday? If the going gets too rough, will you say "I RESPECT YOU!" to Nick Diamante?

[Chandler yanks the mic from DiMarco and throws him to the ground...for like the 5th week in a row. He stares into the camera and cuts a promo...]

Chandler - DIAMANTE...In 5 days, my friend. 5 DAYS. In my home town, in front of the only people on this god-forsaken continent that give adamn about me, I am going to end your career...no...NOT ONLY YOUR CAREER, Nick Diamante, YOUR LIFE. I am going to kill you in the middle of the ring, in the middle of this country known as "America". And it will be the land of the free....and the home...of...the...dead.

Rob DiMarco - Back to you guys at ringside!

Vic Canon - It sure as hell wasn't my idea!

Eddie Sensation - Hey, don't look at me! I love to laugh at MMG just as much as you guys do! He's a fool! A legitimate fool!

The Informer - Yeah, and somehow this fool is back in the EWA� back on Tuesday Night Heat� and he's about to face Chandler in a Submission Match of all things!

Vic Canon - As a matter of fact, I think we've got some pre-recorded comments from MMG about this match.

Eddie Sensation - Oh God� you're kidding!

The Informer - Unfortunately not! Let's roll the tape!

Vic Canon - What in the hell�

Eddie Sensation - God! He's like a rash that doesn't go away! A damn bird that keeps building a nest outside your house every year! WHEN IS THIS GUY GOING TO GET THE POINT THAT HE SUCKS??

The Informer - Probably never! Well fans, to say the very least� MMG is back in the EWA! For those of you who don't know this man's past, he used to be Nick Diamante's lackey. Diamante discovered him during the days of the D.O.A.-Pro, and since then�

Vic Canon - �HE'S BEEN A PAIN IN THE�

Eddie Sensation - Whoa, calm yourself there, Vic! This guy thinks he's a somebody� and tonight, I guess Nick called him up to make an appearance. Why? Who knows?

The Informer - What's the deal with these Submission Matches anyway? Both Chandler and Diamante are scheduled to face the poorest of the poor when it comes to preliminary wrestlers!

Vic Canon - Minds games� that's all it is, for sure. I'm guessing we're going to see a lot of outside interference in these matches! Imagine what it would do to the egos of both guys if they were to lose, one way or another to these� these�

Eddie Sensation - JOBBERS! I know! That would send anyone off the deep end!

The Informer - That's for sure! Well, with that said, let's go to Chris Myers!

Vic Canon - I think I'm going to go get a Coke�

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Submission Match! Introducing first... standing 5'10" and weighing in at 265 pounds, from Parts Uncarded, MMG!

[The EWA Jobber Theme blasts through the speakers, as MMG steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Eddie Sensation - WHAT THE HELL?

The Informer - HEY, THIS ISN'T THE SAME MMG THAT WE'VE COME TO KNOW AND LAUGH AT!

Vic Canon - Yeah, he's dressed up like a damn Aussie!

Eddie Sensation - HA! Last time we saw this guy, Diamante promised him an EWA Heavyweight Title shot in Sydney, Australia! You think he's been living among the dingos all this time!

The Informer - HEY! THAT'S NO WAY TO TALK ABOUT OUR LOYAL FANS IN AUSTRALIA!

Vic Canon - Informer� a dingo is a dog.

The Informer - Oh� I apologize. I never was a huge fan of Crocodile Dundee! Ya call that a knife! This is a knife!

Eddie Sensation - Goddamn, he's got a mic!

Vic Canon - Last time he spoke he set the industry back a good 40 years!

MMG - HEY!!!!!! LISTEN TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TONIGHT I COME TO SPEAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND TO BE HEARD!!!! TO SPEAK, AND BE HEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAARD!!!!!!!!!

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6' and weighing in at 240 pounds, from Shreveport, Louisiana, Chandler!

["Ready or Not" by The Fugees blasts through the speakers, as Chandler steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Eddie Sensation - YES! THANK GOD! I never thought I'd be so happy to see Chandler on his way out to the ring!

The Informer - AND MY GOD! HE LOOKS TO BE HIS TYPICAL PISSED OFF SELF HERE TONIGHT!

Vic Canon - If you were a wrestler the caliber of Chandler, how would you feel if you had to step into the ring with someone like MMG?

Eddie Sensation - Insulted! Disappointed! All that kinda jaz!

The Informer - Damn! MMG still has the mic here!

MMG - WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, HUH??? I WAS TALKIN' HERE, MATE!!!!!! I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY� AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - HOLY CRAP, CHANDLER ISN'T TAKING ANY LIP FROM MMG!!! WHAM!!! WHAM!!! WHAM!!! RIGHT HANDS, RIGHT TO THE KISSER!!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!!!! POOR MMG!!!!

The Informer - WAIT!!!! WAIT!!!!!!! WAIT!!!!!! HIROSHIMA!!!! HIROSHIMA!!!!!! JESUS CHRIST THIS IS GONNA END UP BEING THE FASTEST MATCH IN EWA HISTORY!!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - MMG IS SCREAMING LIKE A WOMAN!!!!!!!! LEGITIMATELY, AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS!!!!! JUST LIKE A WOMAN!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - HOT DAMN!!!!! IT'S OVER!!!!!!! MMG HAS GIVEN UP!!!!!!!! HIROSHIMA HAS CLAIMED THE SOUL OF MMG!!!!!!!!

The Informer - THAT HAD TO HAVE BEEN SOME SORT OF A WORLD RECORD!!!!!! NICK DIAMANTE, YOU WANNA PLAY GAMES??? DOES IT LOOK LIKE CHANDLER IS HERE TO PLAY???? I DON'T THINK SO PAL!!

Chris Myers - The winner of this match by submission is Chandler!

Vic Canon - DO YOU THINK IT'S SAFE TO SAY WE'VE FINALLY SEEN THE LAST OF MMG HERE IN THE EWA???

Eddie Sensation - I SURE AS HELL HOPE SO!! MAN, I GOTTA GIVE MY PROPS TO CHANDLER!! I DON'T LIKE THE PUNK KID, BUT HE SURE PACKS A LOTTA PUNCH FOR A TEENAGER! He may be Thrylla's lackey, but he's his own man right now!

The Informer - Oh please! THIS MAN IS NOBODY'S LACKEY!! HE MAY BE THE BEST WRESTLER, POUND FOR POUND, IN THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF THE EXTREME WRESTLING ASSOCIATION, AND I'M NOT SAYING THAT JUST TO SOUND LIKE A KISS-ASS!! I'M SAYING IT OUT OUR TRUE EMOTION� CHANDLER KICKS ASS, AND�

Vic Canon - �WHAT THE HELL??? WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE???

Eddie Sensation - Uhh� that camera man is beating up Chandler! A member of the EWA staff� oh, God� HA! NEVER MIND!

The Informer - THAT'S NO CAMERA MAN!!!!!!! JESUS CHRIST!!!!! THAT'S NICK DIAMANTE!!!! DIAMANTE WAS DRESSED IN A FULL EWA RING-CREW MAN'S JUMP SUIT!!!!! AND HE ATTACKED CHANDLER FROM BEHIND WITH THAT CAMERA!!!!

Vic Canon - HE WAS STANDING RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF US THE ENTIRE TIME, AND I DIDN'T NOTICE A DAMN THING!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAH!!! NEITHER DID I!!!!! YEAH, AND LOOK AT THIS CARNAGE!!!!! DIAMANTE IS LIKE AN ESCAPED MENTAL INSTITUTE PATIENT!!!! HE'S FORCING THAT ENTIRE PIECE OF EQUIPMENT RIGHT AGAINST THE THROAT OF CHANDLER!!

The Informer - RIGHT AGAINST THE WINDPIPE!!!! MY GOD, FANS!!! THIS IS INSANE!!!!! DIAMANTE'S LUST TO HURT CHANDLER IS INDESCRIBABLE!!!

Vic Canon - DIAMANTE FINALLY GETS UP, AND RELIEVES THE PRESSURE!!!!! THAT'S A FIRST-CLASS LUNATIC RIGHT THERE!!!! HE SHOULD BE INSTITUTIONALIZED!!!! MY GOD!!!! HOW MANY NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCES IS IT GONNA TAKE BEFORE THIS IDIOT GETS TOSSED BEHIND BARS!!!

Eddie Sensation - Hey� guys� hold on a second here� Diamante is going through his jump suit� he just� oh no�

The Informer - HANDCUFFS!! NOW HE'S GOT HANDCUFFS!!

Vic Canon - CHANDLER IS IN NO CONDITION TO DEFEND HIMSELF!!! HE WAS CRACKED OVER THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A CAMERA, AND HE'S BEEN CHOKED OUT FOR THE LAST MINUTE!!

Eddie Sensation - AND HE DESERVES IT!!! YOU GUYS BETTER REMEMBER THAT CHANDLER BROUGHT THIS UPON HIMSELF!!

The Informer - HOW IN THE HELL CAN YOU SAY THAT??? NOTHING CAN BRING UPON AN ATTACK LIKE THIS!!!

Vic Canon - Oh my God� he's cuffing Chandler behind his back�

Eddie Sensation - What are you talking about, Informer! WERE YOU SLEEPING DURING LAST WEEK'S BITCHFEST?? DIAMANTE EXPLAINED TO THE WORLD THAT CHANDLER HAS BEEN STEALING HIS GLORY FOR THE LAST YEAR!!!

The Informer - THAT'S CRAP!!! AND IT'S A LIE!!! NOTHING BUT A LIE!!!

Vic Canon - He's got Chandler handcuffed behind his back� my God� Chandler is barely conscious! WHY IS THIS NECESSARY??

Eddie Sensation - IT'S HUMILIATION, DAMNIT! HUMILIATION AT IT'S BEST! LAST WEEK DIAMANTE EXPOSED THE REAL, WORTHLESS TEENAGE PUNK THAT IS CLAYTON CHANDLER! AND NOW� NOW DIAMANTE IS PROVING HIS THEORY!

The Informer - He's reaching into his jumpsuit again� what the hell is he going to do now? Beat Chandler to death with something???

Vic Canon - LOOK!!! LOOK!!! FINALLY, WE'VE GOT SOME EWA OFFICIALS COMING OUT HERE!!

Eddie Sensation - NO! NOT NOW! IT'S NOT OVER YET��� JESUS CHRIST, DIAMANTE HAS A� A TASER!!! AND HAND TASER!!! HE'S GONNA ELECTROCUTE CHANDLER!!!

The Informer - WHAT THE HELL KIND OF ANIMAL IS HE?????????

Vic Canon - THE LOWEST, MOST PATHETIC KIND THERE IS!!! LOOK!!! HE'S HOLDING BACK THE OFFICIALS THREATENING TO NAIL THEM WITH THAT TASER!!!

Eddie Sensation - Damn� those things are used to tame wild animals� cattle-prods, man�

The Informer - DIAMANTE IS INCHING CLOSER TO A SEMI-CONSCIOUS CHANDLER, WHO'S LAYING ON THE MAT HAND-CUFFED LIKE A DAMN CRIMINAL!!

Vic Canon - No� Nick� JESUS CHRIST!! YOU DON'T DO THIS KIND OF STUFF!!!

Eddie Sensation - OH YES HE DOES!!! DIAMANTE HAS CHANDLER BY THE HAIR!!! HE'S GONNA SHOVE THAT TASER RIGHT INTO CHANDLER'S THROAT!!!

The Informer - WHY ARE WE SHOWING THIS??? WHY ARE WE EVEN ON THE AIR WITH THIS CRAP???

Vic Canon - What the hell is he doing now??

Eddie Sensation - He's asking for a mic! HA! A LITTLE VERBAL HUMILIATION ON THE SIDE!

Nick Diamante - HEY� THIS THING ON?�

The Informer - YES IT'S ON! Someone has to get in there and stop him, Goddamnit! Tom Stone, if you're back there� SEND SOMEONE OUT HERE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! THIS ISN'T RIGHT!!!

Nick Diamante - YEAH� WHAT I HAVE HERE IN MY HAND IS POSSIBLY THE GREATEST F*CKING INVENTION KNOWN TO MANKIND! A V5 AIR TASER WITH THE ABILITY TO SEND 50,000 GODDAMN VOLTS THROUGH A PERSON'S BODY, RENDERING THEIR ENTIRE CORPSE TEMPORARILY USELESS!!! STRAIGHT UP, HOW MANY OF YOU PEOPLE WANNA SEE A GROWN MAN FRY???

Vic Canon - JESUS CHRIST!!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS IDIOT?????

Eddie Sensation - Holy� damn� he's serious�

Nick Diamante - JUST LIKE I'VE BEEN SAYING FOR THE LAST MONTH� CHANDLER, I WANT YOUR ASS DEAD! AND I'LL DO IT AT ANY COST! HELL� I'VE GOT YOUR ASS ON A STRING, AND I CAN TAKE YOU OUT IF I PLEASE!

The Informer - CHANDLER'S MOVING! HE'S TRYING TO GET UP! CLAYTON CHANDLER HAS MORE GUTS THEN BRAINS!!!!!!! HE'S GOT THE BIGGEST BALLS I'VE EVER SEEN!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - OH MY GOD!!! DIAMANTE JUST KICKED CHANDLER RIGHT IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD!!!

Nick Diamante - YOU STUPID F*CK!! DON'T YOU GO MOVING AROUND WHEN I'M TRYING TO MAKE A POINT HERE!!!

Eddie Sensation - Guys� that's a taser� that� it just shouldn't be here�

The Informer - DIAMANTE SHOULD BE THROWN OUT OF THIS BUSINESS AND RIGHT INTO A DAMN MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISON!!!

Nick Diamante - LIKE I WAS SAYING� I'VE GOT YOUR ASS RIGHT WHERE I WANT IT, AND I CAN TAKE YOU OUT IF I PLEASE!!! BUT YA KNOW WHAT??? THAT WOULD BE TOO DAMN EASY!! I'D RATHER LET YOU FREE RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW, AND FORCE YOU TO LIVE KNOWING THAT I COULD HAVE ENDED YOUR DAMN LIFE IF I WANTED TO! BUT I WILLINGLY LET YOU LIVE FOR A FEW MORE DAYS BEFORE I TOOK YOUR SOUL INSIDE OF AN EWA RING, DURING A WRESTLING MATCH! THAT, TO ME� MAKES MY F*CKING DICK HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - AN ANIMAL� A DESPICABLE ANIMAL!!! THAT'S ALL HE IS, AND THAT'S ALL HE EVER WILL BE!!!

Nick Diamante - So Chandler� YOU STUPID, WORTHLESS CAJUN F*CK! ONCE AGAIN, I LEAVE YOUR ASS WITH ONE LAST CHANCE! THIS SUNDAY AT NO FEAR, THERE WILL BE NO SECOND CHANCES!! I'M GONNA KILL YA, YOU SUNNUVABITCH!!! NO MORE SECOND CHANCES!!! NO FEAR� THIS SUNDAY� I��� OWWWWWWNNNNNNN��� YOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!! CLAYTON��� CHANDLER��� DIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEESSSSS!!!!

Eddie Sensation - HA! THAT WAS PRETTY COOL AFTER ALL!!! HAHAH!! MORE MIND GAMES!!!

Nick Diamante - Oh yeah, and by the way� you like my new toy???

The Informer - NO!!!!! NO!!!!!!!! GET THAT TASER AWAY FROM HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Diamante pulls the trigger on the air taser� and a stream of water comes flying out the end�]

Vic Canon - WHAT� WHAT THE HELL???

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAHAH!!!! A WATER GUN!!!! AHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! DIAMANTE� AHAHAH!!!! THAT WAS A WATER GUN!!!!

Nick Diamante - I'LL SEE YOUR ASS ON SUNDAY, CAJUN!!! AND AT NO FEAR, DON'T EXPECT ME TO BE SO FORGIVING!!!! BECAUSE, NO� I DO NOT RESPECT YOU, AND I NEVER WILL!!! PRACTICE THOSE WORDS!!! SUNDAY� NO FEAR� YOU WILL��� DIE� DIE��� DIE CAJUN, DIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! [Laughs sadistically]

The Informer - THAT SUNNUVABITCH!!!!!!!!! GET HIM OUT OF HERE!!!! HE HAS NO DAMN RIGHT!!!!! THAT WAS NO JOKE!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS� DAMNIT, THAT WAS LOW!!!!

Vic Canon - WHY DOES IT SEEM THAT EVERY DAMN TIME THERE'S A BLACK EYE-TYPE OF INCIDENT IN THIS SPORT, IT ALWAYS INVOLVES NICK DIAMANTE??? HE'S A LUNATIC, AND SOMEONE NEEDS TO GET HIM OUT OF HERE BEFORE SOMEONE GETS SERIOUSLY HURT!!!! THINK OF WHAT HE HAS DONE IN THE PAST!!!! HE SET A STEEL CAGE ON FIRE WHILE THERE WAS ANOTHER HUMAN BEING INSIDE!!! HE TRIED TO STAB CHANDLER JUST A FEW WEEKS AGO� AND NOW THIS!!!

Eddie Sensation - IT WAS A WATER GUN, YOU IDIOT!!!

The Informer - THAT'S NOT THE POINT, EDDIE! YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT DIAMANTE DID WAS WRONG! WHAT IF A CHILD APPROACHES HIS CLASSMATES WITH A PRETTY DAMN REAL LOOKING WATER GUN AT SCHOOL, HUH?? HE'D BE SENT TO SOME JUVENILE HALL!

Vic Canon - I just can't comprehend what would motivate someone like Nick to be so� so damn� RELENTLESS!

Eddie Sensation - HA! SCREW THAT! LOOK AT CHANDLER IN THE RING! Looks like some sick Halloween costume, huh? Diamante busted him open good with that camera!

The Informer - We've got several officials out here attempting to help Chandler. They've finally freed him of those stupid shackles!

Vic Canon - What kind of condition is Chandler going to be in now?? This attack� damnit, it more that gives Diamante the psychological AND physical advantage going in to the "I RESPECT YOU!" match at No Fear!

Eddie Sensation - Advantage? HA! Diamante has had the advantage for a long time, Canon! It's been well documented that Chandler is nothing but a child compared to Diamante! And tonight proved that Nick's one-up on Chandler in the mental department!

The Informer - Yeah, well we'll have to wait and see what happens at No Fear, Eddie! Chandler is far from� from�

Vic Canon - OH MY GOD!!! CHANDLER JUST NAILED AN OFFICIAL!!!

Eddie Sensation - HOLY CRAP, ANOTHER ONE!!!!!! HE'S GOING NUTS HITTING ANYTHING IN SITE!!!

The Informer - AND YOU WANNA SAY THAT THIS MAN IS THROUGH HUH, EDDIE??? DOES THAT LOOK LIKE A MAN WHO'S READY TO HANG UP THE BOOTS!!!

Vic Canon - NO WAY!!! CHANDLER IS MORE PISSED OFF THAN I'VE EVER SEEN HIM BEFORE!!!! I THINK DIAMANTE MADE A MISTAKE!!! I BIG MISTAKE!!!! HE'S GOT CHANDLER'S ATTENTION NOW, AND THAT'S NOT A GOOD THING AT ALL!!!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK AT THIS IDIOT!!!! HE SHOULD BE FINED AND SUSPENDED FOR THE WAY HE JUST TREATED THOSE OFFICIALS!!!

The Informer - NO WAY THAT'S HAPPENING!!! NOT AFTER WHAT DIAMANTE DID!!! CHANDLER IS ALIVE AND WELL IN THE EXTREME WRESTLING ASSOCIATION, AND NICK DIAMANTE BETTER BEEP HIS EYES OPEN AT ALL TIMES!!!! MY GOD FANS, WE'VE GOT TO GO TO A COMMERCIAL BREAK! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!

Zed - Ok.. Remember the plan! Get in there, grab the bag, and get it the hell out of my room!

Santoro - Right! Let's go!

[The two storm in with their noses plugged to find the bag missing. Instead, there is a white bag sitting on the table. On the side, the bag reads "TO ZED". The camera fades to black...]

Pegasus Warrior - Why did we sport the NBL shirts? Why did we walk out proudly? Why what? If you're talking about attacking Serial, then why not? Serial--an easy target and a better host for a gruesome match to come. The jackass doesn't know am arm drag from a powerbomb, but one thing's for sure--he'll sure be dumb enough to drag his ass into the middle of a war with two Natural Born - - - uh, Natural Born - - - oh well, nevermind. Why Reckless insists on some of these gimmick names is beyond me. Bottom Line: - - Oh wait, that's been used. The thing is - - no, that's too lame. Uh, basically Serial's has been abused for abuse's sake, plain and simple. Yeah, that's it. Serial's just another log on the fire for the Pegasus Warrior and that other guy who tries to hang around me.

Rob DiMarco - Well, tonight you have a One on One Match with Mr. DFA himself! Are you counting on Reckless for assistance, or are you going to face Serial Thrylla like a man?

Pegasus Warrior - Mr. DFA, huh? Face Serial like a man? Uh, lemme think. Does "like a man" mean similar to a man? In that case, hell no. I'm going to face Serial as THE man. There's only one man going into the ring tonight, and that same man is coming out on top--that's me. As for Reckless, the best thing he could do to help me would be to stay the hell outta the way. Serial, make me bleed, make me feel the pain. Yeah, I'm up for a grueling bloodfest, because coming out a winner against a hero in his own environment makes it all worth it. Reckless will have no part in the match. It's straight up classic hardcore all the way.

Rob DiMarco - Well, for some reason, I dont beleive that.... Over to you Rachel!

Serial Thrylla - Look real deep into these blood shot eyes. I haven't slept in weeks.... Everytime I've closed my eyes, all I see if Reckless..... and now when I close my eyes... all I see is Pegasus Warrior... I...I... have to... end this headache... it just.. w-w-wo..n't.. IT JUST WON'T STOP THROBBING... [Holding head]

Rachel Stevens - This week you get Pegasus Warrior in the ring, one on one! But, you've obviously got Reckless on your mind... Do you expect him to come out here and help out Pegasus Warrior?

Serial Thrylla - ..... I ..I .. can't shake them.... But... t-tonigh.t.... I'm closing the chapter... on Pegasus... and this Sunday... Reckless [suddenly composes self].. THIS SUNDAY, I END MY HEADACHE. YOU AND ME, in the god damn match that ORIGINATED in Shreveport, Louisana... A SKYWALKER DEATH MATCH. Sign your suicide in the sky.. I DARE YOU.... Reckless... Pegasus... HOMICIDE IS FROM THE HEAVENS... and DEATH COMES FROM ABOVE.

Rachel Stevens - Back to ringside!

Eddie Sensation - YEAH! Tonight, we finally witness the DEATH of D-F-A!!!!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first... standing 6'2" and weighing in at 238 pounds, from Parts Unknown, The Pegasus Warrior!

["Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me" by U2 blasts through the speakers, as Pegasus Warrior steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!!! FROM BEHIND!! IT'S THRYLLA AND HE'S FOLLOWING PEGASUS WARRIOR RIGHT TO THE RING!

The Informer - Thrylla came ready for battle! He's not in his wrestling attire... he's dressed in street clothes!!

Vic Canon - OH!! OH!! OH!! Thrylla and Peggy are trading lefts and rights! They've now made it to the ring!

Eddie Sensation - Who's idea was it to make this a One Fall Match?!?! THIS SHOULD BE A STREET FIGHT! NOT A WRESTLING MATCH!

The Informer - Calm down Eddie... [Under his breath] You retard...

Vic Canon - Both men are exchanging rights and lefts! Thrylla with a kick to the stomach! He whips Pegasus into the buckle... No! Pegasus jumps up to the top. Possible cross body?

The Informer - NO! Thrylla followed him in! .....DEATH FROM ABOVE!!! D-F-A!!! DFA THAT QUICK!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S OVER!

[Suddenly, a mans voice is heard, which gets the attention of Serial Thrylla and the referee....]

Voice - Sorry....

[Reckless can be seen standing in the entrance aisle, covered in soot.]

Vic Canon - OH GREAT!!!

Reckless - Sorry I couldn't make it early, but I got a little delayed in Syracuse. Ya see, I got one of those Star Maps and decided to take a tour of the town and see the homes of some of my favorite celebrities. But, I most confess, on my tour something very unfortunate happened. You see... I accidently flicked a smoldering cigar butt in the direction of someone's home. But, being the good Samaritan I am, I decided to douse the smoldering stub in a flame retardent fluid. However, after covering the fire with the holy fluid, I realized it was growing. Then I realized the error in my ways. I WAS USING LIGHTER FLUID!!! ....SILLY!!!! Immediately I picked up this individuals pet dog and attempted to smother the flames with the puppy. However, the burning hooch only added more fuel to the fire. AND THEN, it hit me.. I've been to this house before! In fact, I frequented this establishment on one faithful Tuesday Night! It was perfectly clear, I was at...

[The EWA Big Screen then cuts to footage off of a Syracuse News Station....]

Karen Brown, of Syracuse News 4 - Here we are tonight, at the site of Syracuses' own, Serial Thrylla, whose home burned down to the ground today in an act of arson.

[The news camera pans to the toasted foundation of the former mansion....]

Reckless - OOPS! Sorry big man... Not only do you not have a ride, but it looks like you'll be sleeping on a park bench tonight! Oh, and one more thing... [Reckless reaches into a duffle bag and pulls out a chared animal skull.]... Rover barked till the end!

The Informer - WHAT!!?!? THIS IS A SICK ACT!!! LOOK AT THE LOOK ON SERIAL THRYLLA'S FACE!! OHH!!!! FROM BEHIND, PEGASUS WARRIOR WITH THAT ROLLER COASTER DDT!!! RECKLESS IS RUSHING TO THE RING.... HE'S GOT THRYLLA SET-UP..... LOST CAUSE!!!

Vic Canon - GET SOME HELP OUT HERE!! NOT ONLY HAS RECKLESS BLOWN UP HIS CAR, BUT HE HAS NOW BURNED DOWN HIS HOUSE AND KILLED HIS PET DOG!! THIS MAN IS SICK!!!

Eddie Sensation - Yes... BUT I LOVE IT!!! HAHAHAH!!!

The Informer - THIS IS SICK FOLKS.... And what the hell are they planning on doing now?! Both men now have Serial Thrylla, and they're taking his unconscious body backstage!

Vic Canon - They might as well cremate him! HELL, it's the only thing they HAVEN'T done!

[The camera follows them outside, where they carry Thrylla to a hearse.]

Reckless - Oh yeah, I accept your little match... That's if you can tread water...

The Informer - HUH?! WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?! FANS, WE'VE GOT TO TAKE A BREAK!! DONT GO ANYWHERE!!

The Informer - Welcome back to Heat folks... We'll keep you updated on this situation with Serial Thrylla... Who knows these two lunatics are doing with him!

Vic Canon - Wait a minute... Something is going on backstage... GET A CAMERA ON IT!!! NOW!!

[The hearse is seen pulling up the San Jose Bay area. Reckless and Pegasus Warrior get out and open the rear door. They then proceed to pull out the unconscious body of Serial Thrylla.]

The Informer - OH NO... DON'T TELL ME....

Reckless - Game's over now Thrylla... Cuddle up because you're sleeping with the fishes tonight.

Vic Canon - NO!!! DONT DO THAT!!! THATS A LIVING BODY!!! YOU CANT DO THAT!!!!!

Pegasus Warrior & Reckless - HEEVE... HO!

[A loud splash is heard, as they throw Thrylla's unconscious body into the bay.]

The Informer - OH....... MY....... MY GOD....... I... I CANT BELEIVE THIS!! WE NEED SOME HELP FOR SERIAL THRYLLA AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!! GET THIS DAMN CAMERA OFF OF ME, GET SOME HELP DOWN THERE!!!! ......NOW!!!!!!

Vic Canon - Well ladies and gentlemen, lets take you to some disturbing footage shot earlier in the day by an EWA video crew...

The Informer - Yes, an EWA Camera Crew was traveling around with Cody Covington, to film a segment for a television show on the "Life of a Professional Wrestler" when something went terribly wrong....

Eddie Sensation - "Terribly wrong"?!? That's putting it lightly!! ALL HELL BROKE LOSE!!! I cant believe they actually caught this on tape!!

Vic Canon - Well they were in the right place at the right time.... lets just show the footage.....

Camera Man - Is it hard criss crossing the globe?

Cody Covington - Sometimes it gets hard. You cant really have a personal life, but if you live for wrestling like all the guys in the EWA then it's one hell of a life.

[Cody stops to grab his luggage as he continues to talk to the camera men. Cody picks up his first bag and tucks it under his arm then spots his much larger bag. Cody goes to grab his bag and strains himself.]

Cody Covington - Whoa! That's pretty heavy!! I don't remember packing that much in here! I must really have some jet lag....

Camera Man - That's a pretty big bag! It looks like you could fit a small person in there!

Cody Covington - Haha, you probably could!

[Cody lugs the large bag away then gets to the metal detector.]

Security Guard - Please empty your pockets in the tray sir...

[Cody his keys and a some change in the tray then walks through. A loud beeping noise goes off and Cody laughs.]

Cody Covington - Man, I hate it when this happens...

Security Guard - Just let me check your bag real quick sir....

[The security guard begins to go through Cody's smaller bag while the camera men ask Cody a question.]

Camera Man - Does this happen often?

Cody Covington - Not too much, but the littlest thing will send these damn detectors off...

[Suddenly the security guard starts to laugh hysterically.]

Cody Covington - Is there something wrong pal??

Security Guard - Hahaha... umm... sorry sir.... uh.... different strokes for different folks....

Cody Covington - What the hell are you talking about?!?

[Cody looks into his bag and gets a shocked look on his face. Someone placed women's underwear, dildo's, PLAYGIRL magazines and condoms in his bag.]

Cody Covington - Hey, those aren't mine man!! I swear to God!!

Security Guard - It's ok sir... no explanation is needed....

Cody Covington - HEY YOU LITTLE SHITHEAD... THEY AREN'T MINE!!

Camera Man - You cant say shit Cody!!

Cody Covington - Yeah whatever....

[Cody grabs his bags and walks through the metal detector but it goes off again.]

Cody Covington - JESUS CHRIST!!!

Security Guard - Well, it must be that large bag sir.

Cody Covington - But there's nothing but clothes in it!!!

Security Guard - It'll only take a minute.... WHAT THE HELL?!?!?

[As the security guard gets close to the bag it begins to move. He unzips it and none other than the Diaper Man jumps out!! He bites the Security Guard's nose then spits in Cody's face.]

Cody Covington - YOU!!! I SHOULD'VE KNOWN!!!

[Cody begins to chase the Diaper Man throughout the large airport as the camera crew hurries to keep up with him. The man wearing nothing but a Diaper makes it through the doors but Cody tackles him just as he reaches outside. Cody scoops up the Diaper Man and slams him on the hood of a taxi. Cody punches the man in the chest then gets on top of him and starts punching him in the face. After a few punches Cody starts to scream at him. A large group of people have gathered around to watch the altercation. Some people are laughing while others are screaming things related to wrestling.]

Cody Covington - IT'S NOT SO FUNNY NOW, IS IT?!? WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?!?

Diaper Man - Hee... hee.... hee...

Cody Covington - Is something funny you little faggot?!? Your sick little game is over!! Your ass is going to jail!!

Diaper Man - I'm not going anywhere.... there... is another....

Cody Covington - What the hell are you talking about?

Diaper Man - There is... a... "Higher Homo"....

[Just then a truck screeches into the airport parking lot and rams directly into the side of the cab Cody and the Diaper Man are fighting on top of. Cody and the Diaper man both thrown off the cab onto the hard sidewalk. The Diaper Man scrambles to his feet just as Cody grabs a hold of his diaper. The windows in the truck are all tinted and the door swings open. The man rushes into the truck as Cody holds onto this diaper. The Diaper pulls off and Cody throws it away. He gets up and begins running after the truck. Cody jumps onto the top of it but is thrown off as the truck pulls the bend. The truck stops as Cody is slowly getting up. The Truck is then thrown into reverse and rams into Cody sending him flying backwards on the ground. People rush to the aid of Cody Covington as the truck pulls away. The screen fades to black and the EWA announce team is shown again.]

Eddie Sensation - "Higher Homo"?!? HAHAHA!!

The Informer - There is nothing funny about that bump Cody took from that truck!!

Vic Canon - But despite that fans, Cody Covington will still be in action here tonight, make no mistake about that! Luckily, he only suffered a minor concussion and can still wrestle.

The Informer - But you know Cody's got to be thinking about who is the mastermind behind all of this. No matter where Cody Covington goes or what he does someone seems to always be watching him...

Vic Canon - Well C4 knows who will be watching him tonight when he goes head to head with Fallen Angel, The Hustler, and "The Franchise" Chris Jericho!! That is gonna be a war!!

The Informer - And the winner picks the stipulation for the Fatal Fourway match at No Fear that will be for the vacant World Championship! The stakes are high in that match...

Eddie Sensation - High stakes? Higher homo.... HAHAHA!! That's just too much!!

Vic Canon - Would you shut up?!?

Tom Stone - Rob... It's quite simple. There's always one guy in the class, and always one sheep in the pack that's just TOO EASY to pick on! Everyone bothers the guy, and it's easy doing it! That's the way it is with Zed! He's the one guy in the EWA who you can pick on, without getting a fight back! It's kind of like training!

Rob DiMarco - Training, huh? Well, you better have trained for tonights match, because it's not going to be too nice of a scene!

Tom Stone - Yeah yeah... Blah blah blah. DiMarco, my name is Stone. I always have a plan, and I'm always prepared! Do you actually think I'd sign a match with Zed?! HA! He can wait until the Pay Per View...

Rob DiMarco - Rrrright... Over to you Rachel!

[The EWA Theme blasts through the speakers, as Tom Stone steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - That man right there has succeeded in pissing off Zed tonight!

Vic Canon - Yeah, and the bad thing about it, is he has to wrestle him now!

Eddie Sensation - I'm not too sure about that! We all heard what Stone had to say about this match a few seconds ago! He's got a plan!

Chris Myers - And his opponent... accompanied to the ring by Santoro, standing 6'5" and weighing in at 270 pounds, from Chicago, Illinois, Zed!

["Personal Jesus" by Depeche Mode blasts through the speakers, as Zed, fully dressed in street clothes and carrying the white gym bag, steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - Wait up... Stone has a mic!

Vic Canon - Oh great...

Tom Stone - Hold up there, Zeddy! ....First of all, how do you like your new attire?! HAHAHA!!!

Eddie Sensation - Huh??

The Informer - Exactly! I guess we're about to find out... Zed is pulling the clothes out of that bag!

Vic Canon - Oh... Oh my god!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHHA!! PINK TIGHTS AND A "TOM STONE RULES" T-SHIRT!!! AHAHAHAH!!!

The Informer - Stone is sick in the head if he thinks Zed is actually going to wear those!

Tom Stone - Well, I knew you weren't going to wear those clothes, so I decided to pull out the rule book on this one!

Vic Canon - Oh, great!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!! HERE'S HIS PLAN!!!

Tom Stone - Flip to term 107 of the Traditional Greco Roman Wrestling Match please... I'll read it for you! "All participants in this match must be fully clothed for a wrestling match. This includes proper wrestling attire for the torso, lower body, elbows, knees and feet." ...Now, tell me if I'm wrong here, but you're not in proper wrestling attire!!

The Informer - Oh my god... What a damn worm!! WHAT A WORM!!

Vic Canon - You have to admit Informer, he's a smart man!

Eddie Sensation - AHAHAHAHAHA!!! WHAT A GENIUS!!!

Tom Stone - Hold on! Let me continue! "If one of the participants is not properly prepared, the match cannot happen, and the match is awarded to the opposing participant, or the properly dressed participant". Here's my elbow pads, knee pads, tights, and boots! UH OH!! LOOKS LIKE I BEAT YOU AGAIN ZED!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! MAKE THE ANNOUNCEMENT MYERS!

Chris Myers - And the winner of this match, Tom Stone!

The Informer - OH MY GOD!! STONE IS SUCH A RAT!! BUT THERE'S GOING TO BE ONE THING HE DOESN'T SNEAK OUT OF, AND THAT'S HIS MATCH AT NO FEAR THIS SUNDAY!!!

Vic Canon - Damn right Informer! Zed's going to get his revenge, and Stone isn't going to like it at all!

Eddie Sensation - Blah blah blah! We'll see when the time comes!

The Informer - Well fans, we've got to take another short commercial break! Don't touch that dial!

Fallen Angel - Does a dog cock it's leg to hang a piss?

Rob DiMarco - Uh... Yeah... I guess so.

Fallen Angel - I take every second in the ring seriously. I do what I do with pride, and I try not to fuck things up. Of course it's an important match. I'm actually getting a title shot, and the only thing better than getting a title shot, is competing for that title under your own rules. So... I'm gonna try my hardest to win this match, and even if I fail at that, I'm gonna try my hardest not to let Jericho win this match.

Rob DiMarco - Last week, we saw Chris Jericho humiliate you and Kimberly Wolf in the middle of the ring! And, you didn't even get your hands on him in that match! Is tonight your chance at revenge?

Fallen Angel - Yes. But revenge is such a passe word. Why don't we swap it for... This is Jericho's chance for redemption! He can lie down, get pinned, and it's all over. Of course, not until he's stripped himself nekkid, kissed his own ass, and danced around the ring singing "My Country 'Tis Of Thee". I can't let Jericho win this match, because if he gets to choose the stips, then all hell's gonna break lose, if you catch my drift. Before we know it the four of us will be wrestling in a "Mars 2000 Laser Blade Four-Way-War", with "The Grand Tsar Of Russia" as the guest referee. Or better still, he'll probably make us all wrestle with a solid black blindfold bag over our head. I don't play that. That's why I'm a-gonna win, capish?

Rob DiMarco - Over to you Rachel!

The Hustler - Of course it is. To lay the groundrules for a World Title match at a major PPV is a very nice privilege to have. If I win, I can put my other three opponents into a position in which they have to survive an uncomfortable position to be in, while I'm constantly lurking around, looking for an opportunity to strike. None of these bitches have any idea of what true hardcore is about, so a match involving such rules would definitely be to my advantage. Plus, a win here tonight is intimidation going into the PPV. After I win tonight, Jericho, C4, and Fallen Angel, as they leave the arena tonight, they'll be thinking in their heads about that loss, and doubting a bit of their abilites to beat Extremity At Its Best. A win tonight, I believe, is a stepping stone to the title at No Fear.

Rachel Stevens - This is your second match here tonight! Is the fatigue setting in? And if not, do you think it will?

The Hustler - Well, right now, I'm a bit winded, but nothing major. This is where my years of strength and endurance conditioning sets in, so I think I'll be fine. I think the question is, will these three jackasses be able to keep up with me? 'Cause I'm gonna be all over that ring tonight, destroying people left and right, until I'm the only one standing. Add to that visual the EWA World Title, and you got the ending of the title match at No Fear. Catch my drift? Yeah, I think you do.

Rachel Stevens - Back to you Rob!

Chris Jericho - Well you see Bob, I am the master of stipulations. Let's think back to THE BARBIE DOLL DEATH MATCH with Divine! Or how about the ORANGE ON A POLL MATCH with Y2C? I will win because I have the perfect stipulation Bob for the ppv...but I won't disclose this special match unitl after I have claimed victory over those plebians in the ring.

Rob DiMarco - Last week, we saw you humiliate Fallen Angel and Kimberly Wolf in the middle of the ring!! Fallen Angel was pretty pissed, but he couldn't get his hands on you during the match! But, Fallen Angel did get his hands on Nuno Nitrowalawitz! Do you know why Nuno was down there last week? And why did he go straight for Fallen Angel, and not Tom Stone?? Is there an alliance between you two?

Chris Jericho - Nuno is an IDIOT! That moron has the IQ of a dead fly. There is NO ALLIANCE!!! If Nuno interferes again there will be retribution to pay! As for Limp Angel and his half Horse Half Harpe girlfriend... I have three words that WILL HAUNT THE WORLD FOREVER.... SHEEP SKIN PROFILACTICS! Kimberly your mother is a horse... and your father makes sweet, sweet love to horses! HAHAHA!!! If I had my choice I'd let Mandi take care of BOTH of you... unfortunately WEE LITTLE TIMMY STONE won't let me do that because it's "against the EWA" to allow women to wrestle, they can ONLY be managers.... If you guys have balls, and I wouldn't be surprised if Harpe/Horse girl did... then we, as in Mandi and I, challenge the "horse couple" to a match! Bob, be prepared along with all of my Jerichoholics to NEVER E-E-EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN! Don't touch me Bob...

Rob DiMarco - I'm not touching you, you nut case....

Chris Jericho - Be careful what you wish for homo DiMarco...let's go Mandi!

Rob DiMarco - Over to you Rachel!

Cody Covington - Now that I think about it.... it really is. Everyone has their preferences when it comes to styles of wrestling and match types. For instance I know for a fact that The Hustler's style is anything hardcore. If the match had that kind of stipulation, he'd have a slight advantage over us. It is semi-important, the winner of this match may have an edge going into the PPV but I'm just happy about getting a shot, I have another crack at fame... and THIS time, I'm holding nothing back....

Rachel Stevens - Over the last few weeks, we've seen the infamous "diaper man" get to your head. Do you think he'll be here tonight? And if he does show up, will it ruin your concentration?

Cody Covington - Nothing can ruin my concentration when it comes to giving me the "edge" this Sunday. He'll probably be here tonight, but I'm trying to block him out of my mind, all he wants to do is distract me, destroy my chances and making me forever known as the SHORTEST F*CKIN WORLD CHAMPION EVER! I'm sorry ... this bullshit is bringing out the worst in me.......

Rachel Stevens - Lets send it to Chris Myers, who's in the ring!

["Walk" by Pantera blasts through the speakers, as The Hustler steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - Next... accompanied to the ring by Kimberly Wolf, standing 6'2" and weighing in at 255 pounds, from Chicago, Illinois, Fallen Angel!

["Prosthetics" by Slipknot blasts through the speakers, as Kimberly Wolf and Fallen Angel step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - ...accompanied to the ring by Mandi, standing 5'11" and weighing in at 230 pounds, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, the EWA Extreme Champion, "The Franchise" Chris Jericho!

["Walls Of Jericho" blasts through the speakers, as Mandi and the EWA Extreme Champion "The Franchise" Chris Jericho step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And finally... accompanied to the ring by GeniPher, standing 6'6" and weighing in at 283 pounds, from Miami, Florida, "Crystal Clear" Cody Covington!

["My Own Summer (Shove It)" by Deftones blasts through the speakers, as GeniPher and "Crystal Clear" Cody Covington step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - Fans, this is going to be ONE HELL OF A MATCH! We're going to have 4 guys in the ring at ALL times, and this match MUST have a winner! So you know what that means!

Vic Canon - Umm, what?

Eddie Sensation - ANYTHING GOES!!!!!

The Informer - Exactly. The EWA officials know when and when not to stop a match. This match isn't going to be stopped because of a chair shot, or a nosebleed!

[Suddenly, The EWA Theme blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - And now, the special guest referee of this contest..... MR. TOM STONE!!!!!!

Vic Canon - WHAT?!?!

Eddie Sensation - OH GOD!! THERE GO CHRIS JERICHO'S CHANCES OF WINNING!!

The Informer - That, and Fallen Angel's chances just raised a little higher!

Vic Canon - Tom Stone is in the ring, and... OH!! CHRIS JERICHO JUST SHOVED HIM! AND FALLEN ANGEL JUST ATTACKED JERICHO FROM BEHIND!! THERE'S THE BELL, THIS MATCH IS UNDERWAY!!

Eddie Sensation - [Chanting] LETS GO JERICHO!!!! .....LETS GO JERICHO!!!!

The Informer - As you can see, The Hustler's hands are all taped up from that assault by The Wildman earlier tonight.. I'm sorry, but that was SICK... JUST SICK....

Vic Canon - IIIIIIINCOMING!!!! OOOOH!!! CHRIS JERICHO JUST BACKBODY DROPPED FALLEN ANGEL RIGHT ONTO THE OUTSIDE!! AND NOW JERICHO IS FOLLOWING HIM OUT HERE!!

Eddie Sensation - [Continues chanting...] LETS GO JERICHO!!!! .....LETS GO JERICHO!!!!

The Informer - And of course, there's Tom Stone to make sure Jericho doesn't harm a hair of Fallen Angel! This is bullshit guys!

Vic Canon - Stone might be TELLING Jericho to stop, but Jericho won't stop for anything!

Eddie Sensation - [Still chanting] LETS GO JERICHO!!!! .....LETS GO JERICHO!!!!

The Informer - OOOH!! JERICHO THROWS FALLEN ANGEL INTO THE RING POLE!! And now Tom Stone is threatening to disqualify Jericho!

Vic Canon - Meanwhile, in the ring, Cody Covington is stomping away at the injured hands of The Hustler! I think those gashes are still bleeding! And if you know The Hustler like I do, Wildman has a beating coming his way!

Eddie Sensation - [STILL chanting] LETS GO JERICHO!!!! .....LETS GO JERICHO!!!!

The Informer - EDDIE, WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!?!?!?

Vic Canon - HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT?!?! I'M CHEERING FOR MY FAVOURITE!!

The Informer - Oh please... Just shut the hell up! ...Jericho and Fallen Angel are still fighting on the outside! LOOK OUT!!!! OH!!! MANDI WAS STANDING ON THE APRON, AND SHE JUST CAME FLYING OFF AND NAILED FALLEN ANGEL WITH A CLOTHESLINE!!

Vic Canon - WAIT A MINUTE... TOM STONE HAS A STEEL CHAIR!!! NO... DONT TELL ME HE'S GOING TO....

Eddie Sensation - WHAM!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!! HE DID IT!!!!!

The Informer - TOM STONE HAS JUST STRUCK MANDI WITH THAT STEEL CHAIR!!! MANDI WENT DOWN HARD!!!!

Vic Canon - AND LOOK AT STONE RUN!!! HE'S RUNNING FOR HIS LIFE FROM CHRIS JERICHO!! STONE SLIDES INTO THE RING.... AND JERICHO HAS HIM!!!!! LISTEN TO THIS CROWD ERUPT!!! THEY WANT JERICHO TO KILL STONE!! AND I THINK HE'S GOING TO DO IT!!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT!!!! OOOOOH!!!!

The Informer - MY GOD!!! DOUBLE POWERBOMB FOR TOM STONE! HE'S OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!!! BUT JERICHO ISN'T DONE!!!! NOW HE'S LOCKING ON THE WALLS OF JERICHO!!! STONE IS OUT, AND NOW HIS LEGS ARE PROBABLY BROKEN TOO!!!

Vic Canon - HEADS UP!!!!! OH!!!! FALLEN ANGEL JUST NAILED JERICHO WITH THAT STEEL CHAIR!!! AND NOW FALLEN ANGEL IS LAYING THE FISTS TO CHRIS JERICHO!!!

Eddie Sensation - OOOOH!!! DID YOU HEAR THE IMPACT OF THAT LOW BLOW?!?! JESUS CHRIST, GET AN AMBULANCE FOR CODY COVINGTON!!! THE HUSTLER JUST TOOK HIS SAC OFF WITH THAT LOW BLOW!!

The Informer - EDDIE!!! YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!!!

Vic Canon - HAHAHAHA!!!

Eddie Sensation - SOOOOOOOORRY!!!

The Informer - NOW THE HUSTLER HAS THAT STEEL CHAIR!! CODY COVINGTON IS STUMBLING AROUND THE RING.... HUSTLER SWINGS!!! OHHH!!! HE NAILED CODY WITH THAT CHAIR!!

Vic Canon - WHAM!!! OH GOD!! HUSTLER JUST NAILED FALLEN ANGEL WITH THE CHAIR!!! WHAM!!! AND THERE'S ONE FOR CHRIS JERICHO!!! THE HUSTLER JUST CLEARED THE RING!!!

Eddie Sensation - UH OH!! COVINGTON IS BACK UP!!!

The Informer - THE HUSTLER TURNS AROUND....... ITS OVER!! ITS OVER!!! THE HUSTLER JUST NAILED THE LUMBERJACK'S END ON CODY COVINGTON!! HE'S GOING FOR THE PIN.... BUT THERE'S NO REF!! STONE IS OUT!!!

Vic Canon - The Hustler gets to his feet! And look! Fallen Angel is getting up! The Hustler walks over......

Eddie Sensation - WHAM!!! OH GOD!!!! HE NAILED HIM!!

The Informer - LUMBERJACK'S END FOR FALLEN ANGEL!!! .....WHAM!!!!! AND NOW THE HUSTLER NAILS CHRIS JERICHO WITH THE LUMBERJACK'S END!! THE HUSTLER IS CLEANING HOUSE!! HE HAS THIS MATCH WON, BUT THERE'S NO REF!!!

Vic Canon - WAIT A MINUTE.... LOOK!! THERE'S THE WILDMAN!!! HE'S STANDING AT THE TOP OF THE RAMP!! AND THE HUSTLER SEE'S HIM!!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT AN IDIOT!! THE HUSTLER IS CHASING AFTER THE WILDMAN!!

The Informer - WOW!!! WHAT A MATCH!!! We have 4 guys out in the ring... Fallen Angel, Chris Jericho, Cody Covington and Tom Stone, and STILL no ending to this match!

Vic Canon - That might change right now!! Becuase Tom Stone is getting to his feet!! He's probably going to count them all out again!

Eddie Sensation - Stone is looking around, and he see's everyone knocked out! WAIT A MINUTE.... WHAT THE HELL?!?!

The Informer - TOM STONE IS GOING FOR THE PIN ON CHRIS JERICHO!! HE CAN'T DO THAT!!! AND HE'S EVEN COUNTING IT HIMSELF!!! 1........ 2......... 3!!!!!

Vic Canon - WHAT?!?!? THIS IS BULLSHIT!!! TOM STONE IS THE BIGGEST SCAM ARTIST OUT THERE TODAY!!! AND HE'S GOING TO BURN IN HELL FOR IT!!!

Eddie Sensation - Stone is yelling out instructions to Chris Myers! ...Oh! Here it is!

Chris Myers - Ladies and Gentlemen, if I could have your attention... The official referee of this contest, Mr. Tom Stone, has informed me that this match has come to a finish! And the winner of this match, thus the decider of the stipulations for the Heavyweight Title Match at No Fear, THIS SUNDAY, Is.......

The Informer - IS?!?!??!

Chris Myers - TOM STONE!!!!

Eddie Sensation - HUH?!??!

The Informer - WHAT?!?! THAT'S BULLSHIT!!!

Vic Canon - YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT IS!! LOOK AT STONE!! HE'S LAUGHING HIS HEAD OFF!! HE'S LOVING THIS!!!!

Eddie Sensation - AND NOW HE'S TAKING OFF!!! HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE AROUND WHEN JERICHO OR ANY OF THE OTHERS GET UP!!!

The Informer - EXACTLY! BECUASE HE'S A CHICKEN SHIT!! DAMMIT, WE'VE GOT TO TAKE A COMMERCIAL BREAK... THIS IS OUR LAST ONE OF THE NIGHT!! DON'T GO ANYWHERE!

Reverend Thorn - Then the soldiers of the governor took Jesus into the praetorium, and they gathered the whole battalion before him. And they stripped him and put a scarlet robe upon him, and plaiting a Crown of Thorns they put it on his head, and put a reed in his right hand. And kneeling before him they mocked him, saying, "Hail, King of the Jews!" And they spat upon him, and took the reed and struck him on the head. And when they had mocked him, they stripped him of the robe, and put his own clothes on him, and led him away to crucify him.

Reverend Thorn - You seen fine folks of the congregation, The Brink followed by example. Thorn saw Jesus, one of the most loved men, by all us church folk, and was like "Golly, I wanna be like him." And do you know what folks? Now he is, The Brink is now the living jesus, the man that is going to lead the people through the water, and talk to a burning bush. But that was yester year, this Jesus is something different, he is going to part seas or talk to a burning bush, he might make someone par take in the plunge, and he probably gets his fair share of bush. Right now though, I'd like everyone to get some exercise and say a prayer, and show your love for the new savior, and bow in his presence.

[The camera follows Thorn from the right side of the church to the center, the camera then zooms out so we can see the wonderful centerpiece of the church. The Brink is seen, hanging from a cross in the middle of the church, wearing a scarlet robe, and a Crown of Thorns hangs from his forehead. Thorn goes and kneels before him.]

Reverend Thorn - HAIL, KING OF JOBBERS, HAIL!!

[Thorn then gets up with a nice little smirk on his face and walks back to his podium.]

Reverend Thorn - Brink, come this Sunday, I WILL practice what I preach, and that will be, throwing you through tables, bashing you with chairs... bats... anything, AND EVERYTHING I CAN GET MY HANDS ON! Now, I don't really want to claim my place in hell, but I know I'm going already so I'm trying to keep my "teenage" mouth quiet for awhile, but sometimes the potty mouth needs to be flushed. So Brink, are you ready for this Sunday? Can you handle Tar Heel Manic? You better be able to. You better live up to what you claim you are. You better be the man that you were, the man that WAS feared, but now you just a boy... look at you... you just look so cute don't you?? In your nice little robe, your finally King Brink... King of Jobbers, KING OF NOTHING!! You've finally reclaimed your place to where you should have been your entire life.... the bottom rung. Brink, for years and years you've pushed me down, held me down, and I've always been in your shadow... but for once Brink I'm glad to be in your shadow, cause I know that hanging up there isn't your favorite place to be, and I wouldn't like it either. But damnit Brink, a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do. I couldn't get my point through your think skull any other way, and now, I hope you realize... I'm not the one standing in the shadow, YOUR THE ONE IN THE SHADOW!! No... not my shadow Brink... but your own shadow, the shadow of a past Brink, that was good, and that cared about his friends and that didn't think only about himself. No Brink, your not that man anymore, it's sad, it truly is a sad thing. Maybe one day, one nice sunny day... the birds will stop chirping and the clouds will roll in, and then when the storm hits... The Brink will be back... but Brink, sunny days are in the forcast. Brink, you better handle with care, before you get cut... by the Crown of Thorns!! CAN I GET A WITNESS!?!?!

[Thorns closes the bible, adjusts his glasses, and kneels down for a prayer to the god of jobbers, as the scene fades to black.]

Nick Diamante - An Air Taser� say it!

Rachel Stevens - Yes, yes� and Air Taser� well, a mock one at least. What gave you the motivation to do such a thing? Do you hate Chandler THAT MUCH that you would� you would do such a hanus thing?

[Diamante smirks and begins to rub his eyes for a moment�]

The Informer - What's he doing?

Rachel Stevens - Umm� would you like me to repeat the question, sir?

[Nick looks at Rachel with a dead serious look in his eyes�]

Vic Canon - Rachel, maybe you better ask another question�

Nick Diamante - NO! Vic, no� that'll be fine. You see, Rachel� sweetheart� how you could even ask that question puzzles me. My� "hatred" for Clayton Chandler� it cannot be measured nor defined with simple words. But I don't want to talk about hatred� not tonight, no. I'd like to talk about��� competition.

Rachel Stevens - Uh, ok� very well. Tonight you're going to step into the ring against a, well� virtual unknown in the wrestling world! Ok, well� he's not unknown, in fact� his popularity came from the fact that he was such a pathetic EWA "Superstar" back a few years ago. He is Al Capone, and tonight he has returned to face you in a Submission Match!

Nick Diamante - Yes, well Rachel� I know what's going on here. You see, what better way would there be to throw me off my game than to have me lose to Al Capone� the innovator of the infamous "Tommy Gun DDT"� but, indeed� THIS MATCH IS THE BIGGEST F*CKING JOKE I COULD THINK OF! YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?? CHANDLER AND CAPONE WERE ALL BUDDY-BUDDY IN JAPAN FOR THE LAST WHILE� AND NOW THEY'VE COME UP WITH THIS PLAN TO GAIN THE PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVANTAGE OVER ME??? OVER ME???? DO YOU KNOW WHO THE HELL I AM?????

Rachel Stevens - Yes, the entire wrestling world knows of you and your mind games, Nick.

Nick Diamante - Chandler� you wanna play mind games? Well, I played them TONIGHT! How does it feel to be covered in YOUR OWN BLOOD!? Chandler, how did it taste� huh bro? How was it? [Smiles] You� you might think I'm a little sick and twisted for this, but hell� I liked the taste of your blood Clayton� it thrilled me! And come this Sunday, in front of your friends and family� I'm going to share that feeling, that TASTE� with everyone. Tell me, Cajun� do you have a little high school sweetheart back home in the swamps? Boy, I sure hope you do� cause I'm sure she and I would bond very well� cause we've got a lot in common, you see? Yes� an intense obsession with you, Chandler� with you! And who knows� maybe this Sunday� I'll get to meet your significant other, huh? Mmmm, I hope so�

[Diamante walks away and can be caught staring straight at the camera licking his lips�]

Rachel Stevens - Nick� Nick� please, one more question!

Eddie Sensation - Rachel, he's gone!

The Informer - Gone? You better believe it! Upstairs, he's gone all the way! Why the hell was he talking about Chandler's girlfriend for? Well, maybe we'll find out at No Fear! For now, we're gone� gone to commercial! We'll be right back!

Vic Canon - Al Capone� Nick Diamante� Submission Match� oh yeah, that's off the wall! But to tell you the complete truth, I can't forget what we saw earlier! Can you believe that Diamante brought a stun-gun out here and threatened to nail Chandler with it?

Eddie Sensation - First of all, you make it sound worse than it really was! All it was was a replica of an air taser! You and I both know that tasers are simply used to render criminals temporarily unconscious! And besides� just like I said, it was a replica! In actuality, it was a squirt gun! But all together boys, you're missing the point! Diamante showed that he's willing to do anything to get a hold of Chandler! I still have a visual of Chandler on the ground, in a pair of cuffs with blood dripping down his head!

The Informer - Diamante� he's lower than scum! SCUM! I used to have respect for this guy's different way of thinking� but it's obvious that he's become totally OBSESSED with Chandler! Think back just a little over a month ago! Diamante and Delsante were side by side running the 3DWA! They actually conned Tom Stone out of his own company for 3 weeks! Now, Diamante has stopped everything� and he's obsessed with Chandler!

Vic Canon - Boy, I couldn't have hit the nail on the head any better myself, Informer! But ya know what� I wouldn't want to be Diamante for all the money in the world tonight! With Chandler still in the building, I have a bitter feeling in the pit of my stomach!

Eddie Sensation - Listen to the both of you! Diamante is not a nut! He's simply determined! And I dunno who stuck Al Capone in the same ring with him, but tonight Capone's gonna get crushed bad!

The Informer - Well, it's obvious that Diamante originally brought MMG here in hopes that MMG could legitimately defeat Chandler and humiliate him. But 4 seconds later, Chandler made quick work of MMG with Hiroshima! Now, it's time to see another Submission Match! Nick Diamante versus Al Capone! With that said, let's head up to Chris Myers cause we're running out of time here on a very action-packed episode of Tuesday Night Heat!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Submission Match! Introducing first... standing 6'1" and weighing in at 199 pounds, from Chicago, Al Capone!

[The EWA Jobber Theme blasts through the speakers, as Al Capone steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Vic Canon - MY GOD! LISTEN TO THIS OVATION! How did a guy like Al Capone get so popular??

Eddie Sensation - Ah, it's one of those stupid underground dirt-sheet stories! Al Capone was so PATHETIC his first time around in the EWA that fans actually began to laugh at him� and then love him!

The Informer - He claims to hold the most devastating finishing hold in his arsenal� the TOMMY GUN DDT! But apparently, he's refined his submission style in order to force Diamante to tap out tonight!

Vic Canon - I dunno guys� Diamante has never submitted in his career! What makes you think a guy like Capone will be able to do it?

Eddie Sensation - Exactly dude� everyone is living a dream! It's just not gonna happen!

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'8" and weighing in at 292� pounds, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, "The Most Hated Man In Wrestling" Nick Diamante!

["Bulls On Parade" by Rage Against The Machine blasts through the speakers, as Nick Diamante steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - Well, he's probably right in saying he's the most hated man in wrestling, that's for sure! By the sound of this crowd, they hate him!

Vic Canon - After what he did tonight, I don't think anyone will be able to cheer for this guy!

Eddie Sensation - WHOOO HOOO!!! YOU DA MAN, D!!!! YEAH BABY!!

The Informer - Except Eddie, of course�

Vic Canon - Eddie's a Diamante mark!

Eddie Sensation - AND DAMN PROUD OF IT! LOOK AT DIAMANTE STANDING AT THE TOP OF THE RAMP, YEAH BABY! He knows he pissed a lot of people off tonight, and he's reveling in it! We hear "boos", but in his head, he hears cheering!

The Informer - Yeah, he probably would! Fans, my goodness� you simply CAN NOT miss EWA No Fear this Sunday night! Call your local cable company and ask for No Fear by name! How can you pass up an opportunity to see Clayton Chandler and Nick Diamante in the ring against each other! After what we've seen tonight! After Diamante tried to stab Chandler! After Chandler applied Hiroshima on Diamante multiple times! The war of the words! The drawing of each others blood! Fans, in all my time in the wrestling business, I have simple never seen PURE HATRED like these 2 men have for each other! It is like nothing I have ever seen before! And think of the magnitude! One man this Sunday will indeed say "I RESPECT YOU!" to the other! No officials in the way! Just 2 men going at it in a very intense matc�

Vic Canon - INFORMER!!!! CHANDLER!!!!! CHANDLER!!!!!!! THERE'S CHANDLER!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - SH*T!!!!!! SH*T!!!!!! SH*T!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?????? CHANDLER, WHAT THE HECK?????????

The Informer - I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS� SOME SORT OF STICK� BUT IT JUST SPLINTERED OVER THE HEAD OF NICK DIAMANTE!!!!! LISTEN TO THESE FANS!!! THAT'S THE SOUND OF SWEET REVENGE!!!!!!

Vic Canon - I THINK THAT WAS SOME SORT OF KENDO STICK!!!! CHANDLER CAME RUNNING DOWN THE RAMP AND SMASHED DIAMANTE OVER THE HEAD WITH IT BEFORE HE EVEN GOT INTO THE RING!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - HE'S CHOKING HIM!!!!!! LOOK AT THIS GUY!!!!!!! HE'S THE F*CKING INSANE IDIOT!!!!! NOT DIAMANTE!!!!!

The Informer - PLAIN AND SIMPLE AND NOTHING SPECIAL ABOUT IT!!!!! CHANDLER IS CHOKING DIAMANTE WITH 2 BLOOD-COVERED HANDS AROUND DIAMANTE'S THROAT!!!!!

Vic Canon - LOOK AT THE RAGE IN CHANDLER'S EYES!!!! YOU'RE TELLING ME THIS ISN'T THE SAME MAN THAT ONCE HELD THE EWA WORLD TITLE???? MY GOD!!!!! THIS MAN IS TWICE THE COMPETITOR!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - COME ON, THIS SHOULD BE A DISQUALIFICATION!!!!!!!

The Informer - NO WAY, EDDIE!!!!! THE MATCH HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET!!!! THIS IS A LITTLE BONUS FOR THE FANS RIGHT HERE!!! WHAM!!!! WHAM!!!!! WHAM!!!!!! CHANDLER IS LANDING RIGHT HANDS RIGHT ACROSS THE BRIDGE OF DIAMANTE'S NOSE!!!!!

Vic Canon - HE'S GOT REVENGE WRITTEN ACROSS HIS FACE AND IN HIS EYES, AND ABOUT 20,000 PEOPLE ARE ALL ON THEIR FEET RIGHT NOW CHEERING THE MAN FROM SHREVEPORT!!!!

Eddie Sensation - WHERE THE HELL IS HE GOING???

The Informer - A MIC?? I THINK HE'S GOING FOR A MIC!

Vic Canon - NO! NO!! HE'S GOT THE BELL!!! WHOA!!! CHANDLER JUST RANG THE BELL!!!

Eddie Sensation - HEY, HE HAS NO RIGHT TO DO THAT!!!! WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS??????

The Informer - WAIT ONE SECOND!!! CHANDLER HAS THE RING BELL IN HIS HANDS, AND HE'S WALKING BACK TOWARDS DIAMANTE WHO'S BEGINNING TO GET TO HIS FEET!!!

Vic Canon - OH DAMN!!! CHANDLER IS MEASURING DIAMANTE HERE!!! HE'S GONNA NAIL HIM AS SOON AS HE GETS TO HIS FEET!!!!

Eddie Sensation - NICK!!!! NICK!!!!!! WATCH OUT!!!!!

The Informer - WHAM!!!!! DING-DING-F*CKING-DING!!!! CHANDLER JUST RANG DIAMANTE'S BELL!!!

Vic Canon - NORMALLY I'D EXPECT TO SEE EWA OFFICIALS OUT HERE, BUT TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH� AFTER WHAT DIAMANTE DID EARLIER� WHO CARES!!! NICK DESERVES THIS!!!!

Eddie Sensation - NO!!!! HE'S BUSTED WIDE OPEN!!! NO!!!!! NO!!!!!

The Informer - CHANDLER JUST SHOVED DIAMANTE INTO THE RING WITH AL CAPONE!!!! MY GOD! YOU DON'T THINK�

Vic Canon - �OH MY!!! I DUNNO!!! AL CAPONE HAS NICK BY THE HAIR� AND YES!!! YES!!!!! YES!!!!!! HE'S GONNA GO FOR IT!!!! FANS KNOW THIS MOVE AS��

Eddie Sensation - NO!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!! STOP HIM!!!!!!!!!

The Informer - BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! DIAMANTE'S DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOMMY GUN DDT!!!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - THE BUILDING IS SHAKING!!!!! THE ARENA IS ABOUT TO CRUMBLE HERE!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! NO, DON'T GO FOR THE COVER!!!!!

The Informer - YES!!!! THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HE'S DOING!!!! AL CAPONE GOES FOR THE COVER!!! 1� 2� COME ON!! WHY ISN'T THE REF COUNTING????

Vic Canon - NO, IT'S A SUBMISSION MATCH!!! SOMEHOW, AL CAPONE IS GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE DIAMANTE QUIT!!!

Eddie Sensation - HA!! THANK GOD!!! THAT ISN'T HAPPENING!!!

The Informer - CHANDLER IS GETTING INTO THE RING!!!!

Vic Canon - WHAT FOR!!!!!????

Eddie Sensation - THIS IS INSANE!!!!!!

The Informer - AHHHHH!!!! CHANDLER JUST DECKED THE OFFICIAL!!!

Vic Canon - HUH???

Eddie Sensation - HE'S AN IDIOT!!!! HE'S LOST IT!!!!!!

The Informer - CHANDLER IS DISROBING THE OFFICIAL OF HIS STRIPED SHIRT!!!

Vic Canon - NO, YOU CAN'T TELL ME�

Eddie Sensation - THIS CAN'T HAPPEN!!! NO!!! NO!!!!

The Informer - YES!!! INDEED IT IS HAPPENING!!! CHANDLER IS PUTTING THE REFEREES SHIRT ON!!!!

Vic Canon - IT MAY NOT BE LEGAL, BUT BY THE LOOK ON CHANDLER'S FACE, HE DOESN'T CARE!!!!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DOESN'T CARE???? IT'S NOT LEGAL!!!! HE CAN'T COUNT!!!! HE CAN'T!!!! HE HAS NO RIGHT TO COUNT!!!!!

The Informer - OH YES HE DOES!!!! IN POSITION, 1���� 2����� 3!!!!!!!!!! THREE!!!!!! THREE!!!!!!! THREE!!!!!!! HE DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! AL CAPONE HAS BEATEN NICK DIAMANTE!!!!!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - THIS ARENA IS ON FIRE!!!!!!!!! AL CAPONE HAS PULLED THE UPSET ON NICK DIAMANTE!!!!! ALL HAIL THE TOMMY GUN DDT!!!!!

Chris Myers - THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH�� AL CAPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT????? MYERS, YOU IDIOT!!!!!!! IT WAS A SUBMISSION MATCH!!!! CHANDLER WAS THE REF!!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT????????

The Informer - THE REFEREE'S DECISION IS FINAL, AND OHHHHH MY!!!!! LOOK AT THAT SHOT RIGHT THERE!!!!!!!! CHANDLER HOLDING UP THE HAND OF AL CAPONE IN VICTORY OVER NICK DIAMANTE!!!!!! MY GOD, FANS!!!! WHAT'S IT GOING TO BE LIKE THIS SUNDAY AT NO FEAR????? DIAMANTE VERSUS CHANDLER IN THE EWA's FIRST EVER "I RESPECT YOU!" MATCH!

Vic Canon - IT'S GONNA BE INSANITY!!!!!! FANS, I'M NOT DOING THIS AS AN EWA EMPLOYEE, BUT AS A WRESTLING FANS!!!!! ORDER THIS DAMN PAY PER VIEW!!!!! YOU WON'T BE DISAPPOINTED!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - NO!!!!! STOP!!!!!! THIS IS WRONG!!!! THIS NEVER HAPPENED!!!!!!

The Informer - YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT HAPPENED!!!!! AND DIAMANTE WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO FORGET IT!!!! FANS, WE'RE OUT OF TIME!!!! FOR EDDIE SENSATION AND VIC CANON, THIS IS THE INFORMER SAYING WE'LL SEE YOU AT NO FEAR!!!! DON'T YOU DARE MISS IT!!!!!!