The Informer - WELCOME FANS, TO THE HOTTEST SHOW ON CABLE TV TODAY!! THIS IS THE EWA, AND THIS IS TUESDAY NIGHT HEAT!!

Vic Canon - COMING TO YOU LIVE FROM DAVIS, CALIFORNIA!!

Eddie Sensation - Is it just me, or does it smell in here?

The Informer - Oops, sorry there Eddie! Well fans, do we have a great card for you tonight OR WHAT?!?! We've got a face-to-face confrontation between Nick Diamante and Chandler...

Vic Canon - a Heavyweight Title Tournament Match...

Eddie Sensation - a Tag Team Title Tournament Match...

The Informer - An EWA North American Title Match, AND an EWA International Title Match...

Vic Canon - And SO MUCH MORE!! We have NO TIME to waste tonight... We're running on a very tight schedule! So lets get this thing started!

Eddie Sensation - Wait... doesn't Stone have an announcement or something?

The Informer - Yep! And that's going to happen RIGHT NOW!

Chris Myers - Ladies and gentlemen, the owner of the EWA, TOM STONE!

The Informer - And there he is Vic! The owner of this beloved company!

Vic Canon - He looks a little pissed off! And if you know Tom Stone, that's NOT a good thing!

Eddie Sensation - Damn right... you dont want him to bust out a Canadian Rage on your ass! Wait a minute... Canadian Rage?? Haven't I heard that before?

The Informer - Of course you have Eddie... Stone has delivered it to MANY people!

Eddie Sensation - No no no... I've heard that in the AWA recently...

Vic Canon - Oh, yeah... "The name of one of their tours"....

The Informer - Are you serious?!?! Oh man... Stone's gonna snap when he hears that one!

Eddie Sensation - Hahaha! I cant wait!

The Informer - Stone's about to talk! Lets hear what he has to say...

Tom Stone - I come out here tonight for one reason, and one reason alone. And that reason would be the Heavyweight Title Tournament Match last week on Heat, between Fallen Angel and Chris Jericho.

The Informer - Listen to this crowd! They're going crazy!

Vic Canon - I think we can all agree... that match last week was amazing!

Eddie Sensation - Yep!

Tom Stone - And in that match, that BITCH Mandi...

[The crowd begins to cheer for Mandi....]

The Informer - I apologize for that folks... Stone's pissed!

Tom Stone - She decided to walk her slutty ass into the ring, grab my arm, and count the three. Chris Jericho SCAMMED his way into that Triple Threat Match! He CHEATED to win! And that's everything this tournament is against! This tournament was designed to bring out the best of the best! The TRUE Champion!

[The crowd begins to chant "Y2J! Y2J! Y2J!"]

Tom Stone - See? Do you see? DO YOU SEE WHAT HE'S DONE TO YOU?!?! HE'S BRAINWASHED YOU ALL INTO THINKING THAT HE'S A REAL ATHLETE!! HE'S MADE YOU BUY HIS MERCHANDISE, AND CHANT HIS NAME!! BUT CHRIS JERICHO IS NOTHING BUT A CHEATER, AND A BIG SCAM!!!!

[The crowd begins to boo Stone, and continues to chant "Y2J! Y2J! Y2J!".]

The Informer - Sorry Stone, but you're wrong on that one!

Vic Canon - Chris Jericho is one hell of an athlete!

Eddie Sensation - Oh, so when did you get brainwashed?!?!

The Informer - Ummm, Eddie... A few minutes ago you were a Jericho fan!

Eddie Sensation - Yeah yeah... I was brainwashed too! But now Stone has opened my eyes, and made me realize the truth!

Vic Canon - Oh please...

Tom Stone - But that's not all! I'm not done yet!! Not only did SCAM his way into the finals, but he SCAMMED Fallen Angel OUT OF THE TOURNAMENT!!! HE CHEATED A REAL ATHLETE OUT OF THE TOURNAMENT!!

[The crowd begins to boo Fallen Angel. Chants of Y2J are now louder than ever!]

Tom Stone - FALLEN ANGEL WAS SCREWED, AND I'M NOT GOING TO SIT HERE AND WATCH IT!!!

Eddie Sensation - HA!! YOU TELL 'EM STONE!!!!

Vic Canon - If he's not going to sit here and watch it, then what's he going to do?

Tom Stone - So, I've come to a decision!

The Informer - Here's your answer, Vic!

Tom Stone - The Triple Threat Match at the Pay Per View is no more! It's done, gone, cancelled!!

The Informer - WHAT?!?!

Tom Stone - Instead, we're going to have a little 4-Way Match at the Pay Per View!! This match will feature the winner of tonight's match between The Hustler and Dino Delsante.... Cody Covington... FALLEN ANGEL....

[The crowd continues to boo's Fallen Angel.]

Tom Stone - And, the fourth participant will be....

[The crowd begins to chant "Y2J! Y2J! Y2J!" once again.....]

Tom Stone - The fourth participant in this 4-Way Heavyweight Title Match at No Fear on May 21st will be.....

[The crowd begins to stomp their feet, and the Y2J chants grow.....]

Tom Stone - THE SCUM, THE CHEATER, THE SCAMMER.... CHRIS JERICHO!

[The EWA Theme hits the speakers, and Tom Stone begins to leave the ring...]

The Informer - OH MAN!!!! THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT!!!! NOW WE'VE GOT A FOUR WAY DANCE AT THE PAY PER VIEW!!!!

Vic Canon - NO FEAR IS GETTING BETTER BY THE MINUTE!! I CAN'T WAIT!!

The Informer - WE'VE GOT TO TAKE A COMMERCIAL BREAK! DON'T GO ANYWHERE!

John Babcock - Shut your face and let me speak on this. You ask me what my thoughts are on getting a title shot in my debut? Well, it is just good to see that Tom Stone is smart enough to give 1/2 of the NEW GENERATION what he deserves. Rocky Blonde tonight is gonna find out exactly why my name is Mr. Homicide and why I am your next North American Champion. Rob Dimarco, you better believe that by the end of this night the fans will be standing on their feet cheering and screaming because John Babcock WILL be your champion and thats the damn bottom line. So, I hope Rocky Blonde is bringing 150% because you can damn sure bet that I am.

Rob DiMarco - Also, last week we saw Lex Lethal attack you backstage. Do you think he'll be at ringside for tonights match?

John Babcock - Not if he has any damn intellegence. Lex Lethal made a fatal mistake last week and if he does show his face it will prove to be the worst move of his life. So, to answer your question, I really dont know what he will do, but lets just pray for the benefit of Lex Lethal that he keeps his monkey ass outta my business!

Rob DiMarco - Thank you, and good luck! Back to you guys at ringside!

["Murder" by UGK blasts through the speakers, as "Mr. Homicide" John Babcock steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... accompanied to the ring by Joe, standing 6'1" and weighing in at 235 pounds, from Brooklyn, New York, the EWA North American Champion, Rocky Blonde!

["Cowboys from Hell" by Pantera blasts through the speakers, as Joe and the EWA North American Champion, Rocky Blonde step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - Rocky Blonde slides into the ring, and charges at Babcock!! OH!! BIG BOOT BY BABCOCK! Rocky Blonde quickly gets up... Babcock kicks him in the gut, OH!! DDT!!!

Vic Canon - And Rocky Blonde rolls out to the outside!

Eddie Sensation - Damn! Babcock is looking good so far!

The Informer - Who knows, we might have a new North American Champion crowned tonight!

Vic Canon - Well, if Rocky Blonde keeps up what he's doing right now, Babcock won't any problems at all winning!

Eddie Sensation - Hey, isn't this Rocky Blonde's first title defense?

The Informer - I think so, Eddie... And here comes Babcock onto the outside floor! Uh oh! Babcock is chasing Rocky Blonde around the ring! Blonde slides into the ring, and Babcock follows...

Vic Canon - Rocky Blonde kicks Babcock in the back of the head! And he follows it up with a few more kicks to the back! Rocky picks him up... OH! POWERSLAM! Blonde goes for the cover.... 1..... 2.... No! Babcock kicks out!

Eddie Sensation - Wow, offense from Rocky Blonde!

The Informer - Babcock slowly gets to his feet, and Rocky Blonde is right there in his face again! Rocky delivers a punch to the jaw, and throws him to the ropes! Babcock bounces off the ropes... he ducks a clothesline attempt by Blonde, and bounces off the ropes again!

Vic Canon - OH!! FLYING FOREARM BY BABCOCK! He goes for the cover... 1.... 2.... No! Blonde gets out just in time!

Eddie Sensation - Phew! That was close!

The Informer - Babcock picks up Rocky Blonde... he scoops him up! .....OH!!! RUNNING POWERSLAM!!!

Vic Canon - And here it comes! Babcock is calling for Tha 187!!

Eddie Sensation - Hey... who the hell is that?

The Informer - Thats... Thats.... That's Lex Lethal!

Vic Canon - Lex Lethal is making his way to the ring, and he's got a baseball bat with him!!

Eddie Sensation - What the hell is he doing down here?!

The Informer - Umm, we all saw Lex Lethal attack Babcock backstage last week! Maybe he wants to give him some more!

Vic Canon - AND BABCOCK HAS IT LOCKED ON!!! BABCOCK HAS THA 187 LOCKED ON!!!! ROCKY BLONDE IS FADING!! CAN HE HOLD ON?!?!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT!! LEX LETHAL IS ON THE RING APRON, BUT THE REF CAN'T SEE HIM!! HE'S GOT HIS BACK TURNED!!!

The Informer - LETHAL SWINGS.... OH!!! HE NAILED BABCOCK RIGHT IN THE SPINE!! BABCOCK JUST COLAPSED, AND NOW BOTH MEN ARE OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!!!

Vic Canon - And now Lex Lethal is taking off!!! He's got a huge smile on his face!

Eddie Sensation - What's he saying?!?! Try to read his lips!!

The Informer - It sounds like..... like... "It ain't over yet Babcock", or something along those lines!

Vic Canon - Right now, Babcock should be the new EWA North American Champion! But thanks to Lex Lethal, that isn't the case!

Eddie Sensation - This match isn't over yet Vic! Who knows what's going to happen!

The Informer - Both men are slowly getting to their feet! Babcock is heavily favoring his back!

Vic Canon - Rocky Blonde bounces off the ropes, and charges at Babcock! Blonde swings with a clothesline! NO!! THA 187!!! 187!!!! BABCOCK HAS IT LOCKED ON AGAIN!! AND ROCKY BLONDE IS TELLING THE REF TO CALL FOR THE BELL!! THIS MATCH IS OVER!!! WE HAVE A NEW NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION!!!

Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and NEW EWA North American Champion... "Mr. Homicide" John Babcock!

Eddie Sensation - I think it's safe to say that Babcock just kicked Rocky Blonde's ass!

The Informer - Haha! Right on Eddie!

Vic Canon - I'd like to see Lex Lethal's reaction! His plan failed, and Babcock won the EWA North American Title!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT?!?! LEX LETHAL IS NOW UP 2-0 ON BABCOCK!! YOU GUYS ARE STUPID!!!

The Informer - Shut up Eddie....

The Informer - Hey! What's going on here? Who's this?

Vic Canon - It's a long limousine pulling in to the rear of the area� but who could be in there? Isn't everyone already here?

Eddie Sensation - Ah, who knows! Damn! All I know is this entire limo thing in pro wrestling is WAY too played out!

[The limo comes to a stop and the chauffeur scoots around to the back and opens the door. Suddenly, Nick Diamante steps out�]

Eddie Sensation - AHHH! Umm, like I was saying! I love seeing limos on EWA TV baby!

The Informer - Yeah, sure!

Vic Canon - Well Nick Diamante has arrived here, and he seems to be in a great mood getting ready for tonight's face-to-face confrontation with Chandler!

[Diamante, in an openly great mood, begins to speak out loud on his way into the arena�]

Nick Diamante - THAT'S RIGHT, PEOPLE! COME ONE� COME ALL! TONIGHT, I'M GONNA EXPOSE THAT YELLOW CAJUN ASS FOR WHAT IT REALLY IS! AND THAT'S A PHONY NOTHING!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!! EXACTLY! CHANDLER IS GONNA GET HUMILIATED TONIGHT!

The Informer - We'll have to wait and see about that! I'd be terrified if I was the one who had to go one-on-one with Chandler in a war of the words!

Vic Canon - Hey, Informer� I'd be terrified if I were you, period! You're the one who's going to have to go up there and keep order between them tonight!

The Informer - Uhh� [GULP] �I know!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA! LET'S GO BACK TO ROB DIMARCO!

Lorenzo Hayes - Rob, before I get to your very stupid question, I must tell you that you forgot to ask me about how my vacation was!

Rob DiMarco - Yes sorry about that Lorenzo, it slipped my mind! So anyway how was Hawaii?

Lorenzo Hayes - I went to Hawaii? [Laughs] My vacation took place in the hotel room with Dominique! I don't think I have got more than 20 minutes of fresh air in the past 6 days. But anyway let's just say that my vacation was fun, but yet very oh so very tiring.

Rob DiMarco - Sounds intresting.

Lorenzo Hayes - Oh it was. But anyway, let me get to your idiotic question! So you want to know how confident The IconZ of PerfectioN are? Well just take this for example Rob, would you be confident if you had bodies like War Cryme and myself have? Of course you would. The IconZ of Perfection will take this match with ease, it will be so easy I wouldn't even be surprised if we didn't break a sweat. In a few minutes we are taking on some clumsy bastards, one of them has saggy man breasts and the other is a man that I plan on getting a bit of retribution on. Tonight the IconZ of PerfectioN are going to move one match closer to the tag titles, and we will do it PiCtUrE PeRfEcTlY!!

Rob DiMarco - Also, on the other side of the bracket, The Hustler and his mystery partner have already advanced to the finals! Winning this match here tonight will put you into a match with them next week on Heat, and if history repeats itself, The Hustler wont have a partner! Meaning, it will be more like a Tag Team Title Handicap Match! Do you realize that winning here tonight could very well mean winning this entire tournament?

WaR CrYmE - Who the hell writes these questions?!?! Of course Lorenzo and myself realize that beating those two hicks could mean being the Tag Champs. And theres no doubt in my mind or in the mind of The King Of Glitz And Glamour that we will beyond a sahdow of a doubt win tonight. And even if history didnt repeat itself and hustler did have a partner...tell me something Rob would it matter? Hell no, why you ask?? Because we you size Lorenzo and myself up what do you get and see? Two IconZ Of PerfectioN!!!!

Rob DiMarco - Good luck in your match guys. Over to you Rachel!

Dimitrius Bastard - Confiednce comes with experience, and we haven't done jack sh*t here, so basically, we're goin' into this match, expecting to lose!

[Rachel gives Bastard a strange look as Dimitrius raises his eybrows and nods his head in agreement wiht what eh said.]

Rachel Stevens - Uhmmm.... Also, on the other side of the bracket, The Hustler and his mystery partner have already advanced to the finals! Winning this match here tonight will put you into a match with them next week on Heat, and if history repeats itself, The Hustler wont have a partner! Meaning, it will be more like a Tag Team Title Handicap Match! Do you realize that winning here tonight could very well mean winning this entire tournament?

Brodie Larson - I remember doing he hustle at the 8th grade Halloween Dance, and to be frank, much like The Hustler, it wasn't that cool! I'm well aware fo the fact that Beating Hustler means tag team Gold, and a monster tub of Potato Salad! And if you know "Wild thing" Brodie Larson, he will do -anything- for Potato Salad! So that's why tonight, Rachel Stevens, Suburban Disharmony, those punks from Poughkeepsie, will win!

Rachel Stevens - Thanks guys, and good luck in your match! Now lets send it back to ringside!

["Suburban Life" by The Kottonmouth Kings blasts through the speakers, as Suburban Disharmony step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And their opponents... at a total combined weight of 512 pounds, Lorenzo Hayes and WaR CrYmE, The Iconz Of Perfection!

["Raw" by Staind blasts through the speakers, as The Iconz of Perfection step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - Well guys, I honestly think that the winner of this match has the best shot at winning the EWA Tag Team Titles! I mean, how hard is it for 2 guys to beat one?

Vic Canon - Very true, but what if The Hustler introduces his partner next round?? And what if they kick major ass as a team?

Eddie Sensation - OOOOOOH!!! HE JUST STUMPED YOUR ASS!!

The Informer - Shut up Eddie... Good point, Vic.

Vic Canon - Well, this match is good to go! Lorenzo Hayes and Dimitrius Bastard are going to kick it off!

Eddie Sensation - Wait a minute.... Check out the top of the ramp!

The Informer - Ladies and Gentlemen, Hells Henchmen have yet again joined the crowd in watching this match. It's quite obvious that they're interested in the Tag Team Titles!

Vic Canon - How do you figure? Just because they're watching the match, it doesn't mean they're interested in the Titles!

Eddie Sensation - Vic... 2 minutes ago, you made the ONE and ONLY GOOD POINT in your entire career. Don't think you're smart now... Cause you're a friggin' idiot!

The Informer - HAHAHAHA!!!

Vic Canon - Ha... Ha... very funny. You won't be laughing when you get called into Stone's office!

Eddie Sensation - YOU LITTLE BABY!!! Don't go cry to Stone, you wuss!

The Informer - ANYWAY, back to the ring... Lorenzo Hayes and Dimitrius Bastard have been wrestling for a few seconds now, and it's Dimitrius Bastard who has the upper hand!

Vic Canon - Bastard has Lorenzo Hayes in a headlock! He walks over to his corner, and tags in Brodie Larson! Larson goes to the top rope, and Dimitrius Bastard sets up Lorenzo Hayes!

Eddie Sensation - OH!!! WHAT A MOVE!

The Informer - WHAT A COMBINATION! A BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX BY DIMITRIUS, AND THEN LEG DROP OFF THE TOP BY LARSON TIMED TO PERFECTION!!

Vic Canon - Larson goes for the cover... 1... 2.... No! Lorenzo Hayes gets his foot on the bottom rope!

Eddie Sensation - Hey! LOOK! It's Arthryn!

The Informer - Umm, alright... For some reason, Arthryn is making his way to the ring! Maybe he's down here in support of his stablemates, The Iconz Of Perfection!

Vic Canon - OH!!! IT SURE AS HELL LOOKS LIKE IT! CAUSE HE JUST NAILED DIMITRIUS BASTARD WITH A LOW BLOW!!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!! Did you see Bastard collapse off the apron?! That was one LOUD thud!

The Informer - And now the ref is on the outside! It sounds like he's kicking Arthryn out!!

Vic Canon - But behind the ref's back, WaR CrYmE and Lorenzo Hayes are beating on Brodie Larson! And the ref is too busy yelling at Arthryn to see it!

Eddie Sensation - Stupid referee!

The Informer - And now it looks like The Iconz Of Perfection are going to end this thing!! WaR CrYmE has Larson on his shoulders, and Lorenzo Hayes is climbing to the top rope! This could be "Picture Perfect"!

Vic Canon - ......YES!!! THEY NAILED IT!!! BUT WHERE'S THE REF?!?!

Eddie Sensation - HA!! HE'S STILL ON THE OUTSIDE WITH ARTHRYN!!

The Informer - WAR CRYME HAS NOW GOT THE REF'S ATTENTION!!! THE REFEREE, LANCE KING, SLIDES INTO THE RING!!! HE COUNTS...... 1.......... 2........ NO!!!!!! DIMITRIUS BASTARD BROKE UP THE COUNT JUST IN TIME!!!

Vic Canon - WAR CRYME IS BACK IN THE RING.... OH!!!! DIMITRIUS BASTARD CLOTHESLINES HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!! LORENZO HAYES IS BACK ON HIS FEET!! DIMITRIUS BASTARD DUCKS A CLOTHESLINE ATTEMPT BY HAYES, AND THROWS HIM TO THE CORNER!!!

Eddie Sensation - UH OH!!! BRODIE LARSON IS UP!!!

The Informer - DIMITRIUS RUNS INTO THE CORNER....... OH!!!! BIG SPLASH!!!!! HERE COMES LARSON!!!!! OH!!!!!!!! DOUBLE SPLASH INTO THE CORNER!

Vic Canon - AND JUST LIKE THAT, SUBURBAN DISHARMONY ARE IN CONTROL OF THIS MATCH!! BRODIE LARSON LIFTS LORENZO HAYES TO HIS FEET.... Wait a minute.... Uh oh... This isn't good!

Eddie Sensation - Lorenzo Hayes just collapsed to the mat! He's holding his knee! I think he's hurt!

The Informer - Wait a minute!! WaR CrYmE just slid into the ring, and he's got something in his hand! I can't tell what it is!!

Vic Canon - OH!!!! WAR CRYME JUST NAILED BRODIE LARSON WITH THE OBJECT, AND NOW HE CLOTHESLINES DIMITRIUS BASTARD OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!!

Eddie Sensation - HEY!! LOOK!! LORENZO HAYES IS FINE NOW!! HE'S GOING FOR THE COVER ON BRODIE LARSON!!! THE REF COUNTS... 1....... 2....... 3!!!! THREE!!! THREE!!!

Chris Myers - And the winners of this match, The Iconz Of Perfection!

The Informer - AND NOW THE ICONZ OF PERFECTION ARE GETTING OUT OF HERE! WAR CRYME IS HOLDING THAT OBJECT OVER HIS HEAD!!!! ZOOM IN!!! ZOOM IN!!!

Vic Canon - MY GOD...... IT'S A SPORK!!!! WAR CRYME USED A SPORK ON BRODIE LARSON!!

Eddie Sensation - Huh? Did I miss something?

The Informer - Hells Henchmen, who were standing at the top of the ramp, are now out of here! And the Iconz Of Perfection are close behind!

Vic Canon - Dimitrius Bastard is attending to his partner in the ring... Get a paramedic out here! Those sporks are lethal!

Eddie Sensation - The WHAT?!?!

The Informer - We've gotta take a quick commercial break folks! Don't go anywhere!

Thorn - Rob D. what I believe you said was... "Dollar Sign Inister Kane" which would be the way that you pronounce that man's name. For some god awful reason, this man choose that name. I guess he was screwed out of a name when "Top Dollar" Vinny D. came around, or maybe he just wasn't quite sure if he wanted to be "The Million Dollar Man." Rob D. all I can say is that there are some FUCKED UP people out on the streets, in homeless shelters, and in the EWA. Dollar Sign Inister Kane is a prime example of one of those fucked up people. I can't tell ya what goes on through that mans head, I can't tell you if that man is sane or not, but I can tell you that, he is going to be fucked up tonight. Maybe I can knock some sense into his pea sized brain, if that is even possible. All I really know is that no matter what, no matter how hard Dollar Sign Inister Kane tries... he will get cut, and he will bleed, because that's what happens when you don't handle with care.

Rob DiMarco - We have received word that The Brink IS in the building! Since The Brink isn't scheduled to any matches here tonight, do you think his appearance will be during your match?

Thorn - Ya know what? Everytime you ask if The Brink is going to get involved with me, or my match, he ALWAYS does, so you know what? This time I promise you that The Brink is going to interfere with my match in some way, shape, or form, but that's fine, because after I beat Dollar Sign Inister Kane from pillar to post and back again... The Brink will suffer the same fate. He's fucked me over time and time again, interfered here and there, was a shitty ref. He's done everything to try and stop me.... but he won't... I'm a machine that can't be stopped, you can't pull my plug, you can't turn me off, I will never run out of power, and I will ALWAYS dominate over him, and everyone else that steps in my path. So when you ask if The Brink is going to make an appearance during my match... I sure as hell hope he does....

Rob DiMarco - Back to you guys at ringside!

["Hot to Death" by Everlast blasts through the speakers, as $inister Kane steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'1" and weighing in at 201 pounds, from Sacramento, California, Thorn!

["From This Day" by Machine Head blasts through the speakers, as Thorn steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - Well guys, there is absolutly no history between these two!

Vic Canon - ...but Thorn staring a whole straight through $inister Kane!

Eddie Sensation - AND THORN CHARGES AT $INISTER KANE!!! OH!!! SPINNING HEEL KICK!

The Informer - Thorn lifts $inister Kane to his feet.... OH!!! BIG TIME LARIAT!

Vic Canon - DAMN! Thorn means business!

Eddie Sensation - ....OH!!! THORN JUST NAILED HIM WITH A CRADLE SUPLEX!

The Informer - And now he's going up to the top rope!! $inister Kane is getting back to his feet..... OH!!! MISSLE DROPKICK BY THORN!

Vic Canon - Look at Thorn! It looks like he hates $inister Kane as much as he hates Brink!

Eddie Sensation - Ever think that he hates everyone?!

The Informer - Thorn is climbing to the top rope again!! $inister Kane slowly gets to his feet.... OH!! MOONSAULT BY THORN!!

Vic Canon - Wow... Thorn hasn't gone for a pin attempt ONCE! Yet, he's kicking Kane's ass all over this ring!

Eddie Sensation - Uh oh!!! Now Thorn is setting him up on the bottom rope!! It could be time for the Crown of Thorns!

The Informer - Thorn is climbing to the top rope....... YES!!!!

Vic Canon - HE NAILED IT!!!! HE GOES FOR THE COVER, 1.... 2..... 3!!!!

Chris Myers - And the winner of this match... Thorn!

[Before Thorn has a chance to get to his feet, the lights in the arena dim to a halogen navy blue, and the EWA Big Screen is lit up with the words "LOOK HERE" with an arrow flashing in a downward direction. The crowd and wrestlers direct their attention to the arrow... as we see The Brink standing just underneath it, wearing a white LB Hat turned backwards, a pair of gray CaFFeiNe Cargo pants, and an orange DuB shirt. He looks around at the crowd, producing a huge smirk, as he tilts his .45 magnum Oakleys down off the tip of his nose, and raises the mic to his mouth.]

The Brink - Thorn...Thorn...Chicken plucking, cocksucking, bucketfucking Thorn.. You deeply sadden me, ya know that? You saddened me to the point that I HAD to come out here, and bring you away from this life of jobbertude. You may have been fighting that puss $inister Kane tonight, but come pay-per-view time, it's going to be a little harder, and when I say a little harder.. I mean A LOT FUCKING HARDER!

[He stops and looks down at the ring, staring directly into the eyes of his long time best friend, Thorn.]

The Brink - What's the matter? Can't decipher the code there Neo? IT'S A FUCKING CHALLENGE! Wake up Thorn, and smell some of that shit you left behind in the bathroom before your match... yeah, it stinks.. whether you want to believe it or not, YOUR SHIT STINKS... You're not all that you're cracked up to be, and your fucking wrestling skills smell just about as bad as that floater you left as a peace offering to the porcelain goddess... GET YOURSELF READY, COCK.. You're going to need it. Oh.. and one last thing, for old time sakes.. folks, you know what to do... WHEN YOU HANG ON THE BRINK.... YOU'RE BOUND TO FALL.... TAKE...THE...PPPPLLLLLUUUUNNNNNGGGGEEEEE!!!!!

[Brink throws the mic down as the crowd screams in unison. The lights kick back on, and Fear Factory's "Descent" is played over the loudspeakers at a deafening volume. Brink tilts back up the Oaks, and walks back behind the curtains.]

Serial Thrylla - Yeah... I need something really sporty. How about a Dodge Viper?

Attendent - No sir, actually...

Serial Thrylla - Okay, that's fine. How about something comfortable and luxuries? Maybe a Lexus?

Attendent - Sir... actually...

Serial Thrylla - Okay, Okay... How about one of those BMW's Nomad drives?

Attendent - Mr. Thrylla sir... someone has already reserved a vehicle for you this evening!

Serial Thrylla - Oh great! So what did Tommy get for me this evening?

Attendent - Actually... a kind man by the name of Reckless took the liberty of reserving you a Geo Prism for this evening's Tuesday Night Heat event! Enjoy sir!

[The attendent hands Thrylla the keys, and Serial Thrylla leaves...]

Dino Delsante - I've said it once and I'll say it a million times. This is my job. This is what I do and not only do I do it every week, I do my job well. I don't get nervous doing my job.

Rob DiMarco - But what if you opponents are guys like Nomad, Cody Covington, The Hustler, Chris Jericho and Fallen Angel?? Do you honestly think you can beat ALL of them in one night?!

Dino Delsante - I'm betting whoever gets in the ring with me will probably beat themselves. And I'll capitalize on those mistakes.

[Suddenly, Tom Stone enters the picture...]

Tom Stone - Dino, tell me something.... WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?! YOU THINK YOU CAN ARRANGE MATCHES WHENEVER THE HELL YOU WANT?! WHAT, DO YOU THINK YOUR ME?!?! DO YOU THINK YOUR TOM STONE?!?!

Dino Delsante - NO, YOU SHORT BASTARD, I'M BIGGER THAN TOM STONE! I'M THE CORNERSTONE! YOU MIGHT RUN THIS FEDERATION, BUT THE EWA IS BUILT UPON MY BACK! THAT'S WHO I AM!

[Stone is stunned. He slowly moves closer Dino. They are now nose to nose.]

Tom Stone - You really, REALLY want this match?? Well then you got it.... NEXT WEEK. Tonight, you've got The Hustler... in a Heavyweight Title Tournament Match... you better save up all your energy, cause you're going to need it! .....See you then, CORNERSTONE...

The Informer - Well guys, I guess this match isn't happening then!

Vic Canon - Sure it is! Next week!

Eddie Sensation - Har har har! Very funny, Vic!

The Informer - I don't know about you guys, but I'm looking forward to that Heavyweight Title Tournament Match even more now!! Tom Stone has sort of HINTED that he's going to get Dino in that match! I can't wait!

Vic Canon - If it's anything like that Chris Jericho / Fallen Angel match, I'll be looking forward to it too!

Eddie Sensation - HEY! DONT YOU DARE MENTION THE NAME OF THAT SCUM AGAIN!! YOU'VE ALL BEEN BRAINWASHED!

The Informer - If anything, Eddie, YOU'VE been brainwashed!

Vic Canon - Damn right!

Eddie Sensation - Ahhhh shut up! Both of you! Let's get on with the show!

The Informer - Right... well, I guess we're going to send it backstage again... Rob?

Tom Stone - You're damn right it is DiMarco. Last week, Zed did something that he should have NEVER done... He layed his hands on me, and put me through the roof of a car! Zed, tonight I get my revenge... and it's not going to be too pleasant for you!

Rob DiMarco - I must say... This doesn't sound like it's going to be a wrestling match at all! Are you two going to attempt to work together, or are we just going to see fists flying??

Fallen Angel - Last time I checked, Robert, the EWA had very little to do with real wrestling. The fed needs more Fallen Angels in it. Then the "W" in EWA might have a meaning. But for now I guess the fans will have to settle for me. And Tom... Let me handle the wrestling side of things, and you just stick to what you do best... Bitching.

Rob DiMarco - Over to you Rachel!

Zed - Tom is a real pain in the ass you know? First he has me stuck wrestling his idiot cronie Walker, he screws me over weekly and just recently prevented me from finishing off Cody Covington in our Heavyweight Title tournament match, a match everyone knows I would've won had Tom not interjected himself into the picture, and now I'm at the level where I have to drag the EWA President around leaving him Unforgiven on limos. I'm really sick of Tom Stone you know? He's now at Stalker-Status if you ask me, and I really wish the asshole would just let me continue my career in the EWA contending against wrestlers and letting me get back to the top like I used to be. I'm really unhappy in the EWA right now, I want to go back to kicking ass and wrestling great matches against great wrestlers in the main event spotlight. What I'm reduced to doing now is bullshit. I'll take a main event match with the heavyweight title on the line over me wrestling Tom Stone or one of his bodyguards in the midcard anyday. Tom can threaten me all he wants, and he can try to get his revenge tonight all he wants, because I've been putting up with his shit for a while and I'm pretty much used to it. Now I just want this nightmare to end...

Rachel Stevens - Chris... You've promised the world that you're going to show everyone "the real" Kimberly... Can you give us a preview?

Chris Jericho - Ladies and gentleman I would like to take this oppourtunity to bring to your attention the affets of ORAL HERPES. Take a look at Rachel's lips and face she is teh perfect example of this hideous disease. She has a pretty face indeed...but under all that make up lies a pool of bacteria and a plethora of warts known as HERPES! "ON HER KNEES" Stevens is just another example of a "kimberly" here in the EWA. However what Kimberly has done is about a million times as worst. Kimberly, Limp Angel....your lives will NEVER E-E-EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN! Tonight the truth shall be revealed... And Rachel get some cream for those lips....

Rachel Stevens - Back to you guys at ringside!

["Prosthetics" by Slipknot blasts through the speakers, as Kimberly Wolf and Fallen Angel step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And his partner... from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, he is the owner of the EWA, Tom Stone!

[The EWA Theme blasts through the speakers, as Tom Stone steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And now their opponents... Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Santoro, standing 6'5" and weighing in at 270 pounds, from Chicago, Illinois, Zed!

["Personal Jesus" by Depeche Mode blasts through the speakers, as Santoro and Zed step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And his partner... accompanied to the ring by Mandi, standing 5'11" and weighing in at 230 pounds, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, the EWA Extreme Champion, "The Franchise" Chris Jericho!

["Walls Of Jericho" blasts through the speakers, as Mandi and the EWA Extreme Champion "The Franchise" Chris Jericho step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - Well fans, Chris Jericho has vowed to reveal a secret here tonight! I have no idea what it is, but I'm looking forward finding out!

Vic Canon - Exactly.. And we're going to find out right now! Jericho has the mic! Lets listen in!

Chris Jericho - Welcome to......

[The crowd yells "TUESDAY NIGHT JERCIHO!!!!"...]

Chris Jericho - No no no! Welcome to Heat Has Been Garbage! Tonight, as promised, I have a special surprise for everyone in the stands! All of you have asked for me to unleash my SHOCKING secret to the world, and YES, "The Franchise" will deliver! Over the past weeks, I recceived some shocking information about a woman by the name of Kimberly... other-wise known as the "Queen of the Harpes"! Let's remember 3 VERY important facts! Mr. Kimberly relied on sheep skin profilactics instead of dependable latex! Horses CAN be impregnated by humans! AND, Harpes come from Horses!! I hope you can figure the rest out... Timmy, Johnny, Billy, whoever the hell is in the back, post my "evidence" on the EWA Big Screen!

Chris Jericho - YOU SEE! Kimberly was given birth to not by a human being.... BUT A FREAKING HORSE!! HER DADDY MADE LOVE TO A HORSE, AND OUT CAME QUEEN OF THE HARPES!! So I guess that means Kimberly likes it HORSIE STYLE! Limp Angel, your girlfriends dad screws horses and your screwing a girl who's HALF HORSE..... HALF SLUT! When you take a look at MANDI, she's ALL WOMAN.... and her man... AIN'T NO HORSE SCREWER!

The Informer - I'm sorry folks, but I can't help but laugh!! Fallen Angel is standing over in his corner, and he's smokin'!!

Vic Canon - Fallen Angel wants to get his hands on Jericho.... BAD!

Eddie Sensation - It looks like Fallen Angel is going to start this match, and he wants Jericho in the ring! But, by the looks of it, it will be Zed who starts this match against Fallen Angel.

The Informer - Zed kicks Fallen Angel in the gut, and plants him with a Verticle Suplex! There's the bell! This match has just started!

Vic Canon - Fallen Angel is trying to get up, but Zed kicks him in the chest! Fallen Angel falls on his back, and Zed continues to lay the boots to him!

Eddie Sensation - Wait a minute.... isn't that "FreakShow" Nuno Nitrowalawitz?!

The Informer - Yes... yes it is! Man! I haven't seen him in a while!

Vic Canon - What the hell is he doing out here??

Eddie Sensation - I dunno!

The Informer - Neither do I, but I'm sure we'll find out soon enough!!

Vic Canon - Zed lifts Fallen Angel high in the air... BRAINBUSTER! And Zed tags in Chris Jericho!

Eddie Sensation - THAT SCUM!!!!

The Informer - Easy Eddie.... Jericho climbs to the top rope.... MISSLE DROPKICK!!

Vic Canon - OH!!! JERICHO JUST NAILED TOM STONE IN HE JAW WITH A RIGHT HAND!!!! TOM STONE COLLAPSED TO THE MAT!!!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT A CHEATER!!!

The Informer - How do you figure?

Eddie Sensation - BECAUSE HE IS!!!

The Informer - Umm, yeah...... Shut the hell up! Tom Stone is up on his feet, and he's not too happy! He's walking around the ring, heading towards Zed!

Vic Canon - Zed doesn't see him coming! In the ring, Jericho nails Fallen Angel with a Spinning Heel Kick!! WHAM!!!!! OH GOD!!! TOM STONE JUST PULLED ZED OFF THE APRON, AND ZED CAUGHT A MOUTH FULL OF STEEL ON THE STEPS!

Eddie Sensation - HA!! WAY TO GO STONE!!! Now look at Stone! He's asking for the tag!

The Informer - OOOH!! FALLEN ANGEL WITH A LOW BLOW ON JERICHO!!! AND TOM STONE REACHES OVER THE TOP ROPE, AND TAGS HIMSELF IN!!

Vic Canon - LOOK AT FALLEN ANGEL!! HE'S NOT TOO HAPPY ABOUT THAT!!

Eddie Sensation - WOAH!! LOOK AT STONE!! HE'S GOING NUTS ON JERICHO!!! LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT!!

The Informer - OH!!! JERICHO KNEE'S STONE IN THE STOMACH..... POWERBOMB!!!!!

Vic Canon - .......DOUBLE POWERBOMB!!!! JERICHO RUNS TO THE ROPES...... ASAI MOONSAULT!!!!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK!! LOOK!! FALLEN ANGEL IS TRYING TO GET INTO THE RING, BUT NUNO IS HOLDING HIS LEG!!! FALLEN ANGEL CAN'T MOVE!!!

The Informer - 1..... 2...... 3!!!! OH NO!!! CHRIS JERICHO HAS JUST PINNED TOM STONE!! STONE WON'T BE TOO HAPPY ABOUT THIS!!!

Chris Myers - And the winners of this match, Chris Jericho and Zed!

Vic Canon - OH!! FALLEN ANGEL JUST KICKED NUNO NITROWALAWITZ IN THE MOUTH!! AND NOW FALLEN ANGEL IS CHASING AFTER JERICHO, WHO'S ALREADY HALFWAY DOWN THE ENTRANCE AISLE!!!

Eddie Sensation - AND CHECK OUT ZED!!! HE'S IN THE RING, STANDING OVER TOM STONE'S BODY!!!

The Informer - Zed is lifting Tom Stone to his feet! My god... this doesn't look good for Stone!!! I'm predicting another Unforgiven!

Vic Canon - OH!!!!! LOW BLOW BY STONE!!! AND NOW TOM STONE IS KICKING AT THE BODY OF ZED, WHICH IS OUT ON THE MAT!!!

Eddie Sensation - MY GOD!!! STONE IS CRAZY!! HE'S CHOKING ZED WITH HIS BARE HANDS!!

The Informer - HERE COME A LOAD OF OFFICIALS!! THEY'RE TRYING TO PEEL STONE OFF OF ZED! BUT IT ISN'T WORKING!!!

Vic Canon - MY GOD FOLKS.... WE'VE GOT TO TAKE A COMMERCIAL BREAK!! DON'T GO AWAY!!!

Hairstylists, makeup artists, cameramen, and other assorted EWA personnel swarm around one . In the center of this cluster of activity is a man which we all know the instant we see him.

Why, you ask?.....Because only one man in Hollywood can produce blockbusters like he can. Because only one man in wrestling can claim that perfectly proportioned physique, every muscle in his body seamlessly merges with the next, completing the human form in it's perfect state. Because only one man in the world has that magically caramel complexion, clean smooth skin, expressive brown eyes, and neat, crisp hair which can melt even the most frigid woman's heart like butter. Because only one man in the world has the intellect, the drive, and the sheer will to go from the fifth floor of a squalid Brooklyn tenament to a fifteenth floor corner office in the Chryslar building. Because only one man in the universe can wear a metallic gold business suit and be taken seriously!

This Man

This Myth

This Legend

Is none other than

Don Michaels is a man who knows only success; from his days as a division one college football hero, to his blockbuster Time Commando series, to his awesome in ring displays of speed and power. Don Michaels is a man without limits or equals.

[The camera zooms in on Michaels, giving us a close-up of his face. Michaels flashes the camera one of his million dollar grins. The Camera then switches angles, and through the door walks Rachel, EWA personality extraordinare. Michaels nods at the EWA's premiere interviewer. No doubt she's come for a few choice words with the future of the EWA, Don Michaels.]

Rachel Stevens - Hello Mr. Michaels.

Don Michaels - Hello Rachel, and please, call me Don.....

[Michaels winks at Rachel, and smiles at her.]

Rachel Stevens - Okay [Pause..] Don. May I be the first person to welcome you to the EWA.

Don Michaels - Yes you may, and I'm glad to be here.

Rachel Stevens - Tell the fans a little bit about yourself.

Don Michaels - Now I'm not going to bore everyone by bragging about my multiple titles, and my big matches and what federations I used to dominate. For when you reach my level, the skill speaks for itself, and believe me Rachel, my skill speaks volumes. But I will tell them about my new line of clothing: Michaelesque. Available in finer retail stores everywhere.

[Michaels spreads his arms, and spins for the camera, modeling his black pant and suit combination with metallic trim. The clothes are just tight to cause a lingering stare and a smile from Rachel. Michaels looks directly into the camera.]

Don Michaels - Now everyone can look as good as me. Well not really, but the clothes are nice!

[Rachel somehow manages to pull her eyes away from Michaels' posterior, and lifts the microphone.]

Rachel Stevens - So why have you come to the EWA? A star as huge as yourself could've gone anywhere. What's your purpose here?

Don Michaels - One of my purposes here is to win the EWA heavyweight title, another is to bring a new level of class to this organization. Sure there are some great wrestlers here, but there aren't many truly entertaining guys on this roster. Sure there are guys like Lorenzo Hayes, and Reckless; but Lorenzo is just a watered down version of myself. I think the fans of the EWA deserve the real deal: The $uperstar Don Michaels. And Reckless, hardcore has just about played itself out, practice your arm-drags, and hip-tosses. Unforuneatly for the EWA fans, the rest of the federation seems to be populated by has-beens, never will-be's , and trite clich�s. You've got your Ghetto Superscrubs like Babcock, babbling idiots like Big Daddy Hack, self-absorbed fools like Dino Delsante, and pompous jerks like Nick Diamante. As you can see from my examples, losers in this federation truly abound, and I think that the fans of the EWA deserve the type of quality showmanship that I personify.

Rachel Stevens - That was certainly a mouthfull.

Don Michaels - Oh, and I can't forget my final reason and perhaps the greatest reason of all. TIME COMMANDO FOUR 4

[Don Michaels grabs the microphone away from Rachel and speaks directly into the camera.]

Don Michaels - That's right everyone, the fourth of July, mark it on your collective calendars TWICE because it's the day that everyone's favorite action hero is back to take over the big screen. And you viewers here in the EWA will get the first peek at my next box office extravaganza.

[Rachel takes the microphone back from Don Michaels.]

Rachel Stevens - So you're really here to promote your movie?!

Don Michaels - Well, not just to promote a movie. I meant what I said about the showmanship and the title. It's just that the movie takes precedence.

Rachel Stevens - What?!?!

[Rachel is in complete shock as Michaels pulls a TC4 hat out of his duffel bag and places it on her head. Rachel's eyes tilt upward towards the hat on her head.]

Rachel Stevens - You're just here to sell things, aren't you?

[Michaels smile turns insincere and he spreads his arms out in a classic. Nixon fashion.]

Don Michaels - No..NO...NO!! I'm not trying to turn the EWA into a massive free marketing machine for my merchandising empire. If I were (pause) I'd definitely tell the fans about the limited edition Michaelesque platinum wrist watch, available at your local Nieman and Marcus.

[Michaels brings his arms across his chest, flashing the sleek solid platinum watch at the camera.]

Rachel Stevens - Unbelievable

[Rachel storms out of the dressing room. Undaunted Michaels follows after her.]

Don Michaels - Hey babe... don't forget 7/4 is TC4!

[As Rachel storms out of the dressing room Michaels looks into the camera one more time and smiles.]

[Serial Thrylla stops the running microwave, and removes a plate full of chicken and collard greens labeled: "Reck's Dinner". He empties Lodi's severed head into the microwave]

Serial Thrylla - A tooth...

[Thrylla sets Microwave for 1 minute on a power setting of high.]

Serial Thrylla - For a tooth...

[Serial Thrylla hits start on the microwave. He then leaves, and Reckless walks in, checking the time left on the microwave.]

Reckless - MMMM.. Collard Greens.

[Lodi's head explodes in the microwave!]

BEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!

Reckless - What the christ.

[Reckless opens the microwave to find Lodi's head has exploded.]

Serial Thrylla - [From the back of the room] TIE SCORE, BITCH!

[Reckless stands there, STUNNED. He is too shocked to chase after Serial Thrylla.]

Hacker - I think it is.. It isn't a very good setup because I am gonna squash Fourcee like a little bug. If Tom Stone didn't have the brains of a moron then he would have drove me out of the EWA in a better way. He could have put me againest someone like DelSante, He could have put me in a Loser-Leaves-EWA match againest 2 guys, or he could of sent in the INS to get me deported to Albania. Stoney, You just lost another battle to Hack Daddy Cool.

Rob DiMarco - Last week we saw you get kicked out of the arena by Security. This week, you got in fine. Dont you find that a little strange?

Hacker - Rob, after what I did to that donut eating, fat bastard security guard, No one wants to handle me. No one wants to try to stop me because if they do then they will end up splattered on the concrete.

Rob DiMarco - But, Do you think Tom Stone still has something planned for you here tonight??

Hacker - Stoney has a plan but I will beat his little plan tonight and I will face Crystal Queer. Cody, you can go up and ask Stone to send out the Dogs on me, or for him to send out the bees on me, or for him to send out the dogs with bees in their mouth so when they bark, they shoot out bees, but I will still HACK-KNIFE YOU DOWN!

Rob DiMarco - Over to you Rachel!

Cody Covington - One can only think that seeing how the last guy I fought was Zed. I wasn't even aware Hacker had problems with Stone ... nowadays who doesn't though? Like I said in my Mike and Ike'z interview... Stone is a bastard. I don't think I'm his favorite person either. That's why he's doing this to me all the time, I'm always doing Stone's dirty work.... I never had a problem with Hacker, but all of a sudden I'm booked in a match against him. I guess that's my whole purpose here in the EWA now.... Cody Covington..... Stone's Tool... Stone's Wrecking Machine.... The Corporate Bitch! I only have one more chance, I have to show the world that I can do this... I can be the EWA World Champion... I can represent this powerhouse of sports entertainment ... if my fans believe in me, I believe in myself ... only one more chance at the world title for a while, and if I don't get it this time.... I don't see myself winning it for a long time coming.....

Rachel Stevens - Last week we saw a package delivered to your door, which ended up being a recording of you while you were asleep. You obviously weren't too pleased with that ... but later on in the night, the mysterious person struck again. You were given a.... well, forget that... Basically, you were left in the middle of the ring covered in a white, sticky substance. Do you have any idea who this person could be?? And do you think they'll strike again tonight??

Cody Covington - I really don't want to talk about that. Hopefully, that is over and finished with ... because I really don't have the time for that bullshit. I'm pretty sure I know who this guy is ... but I'd rather not say, because I could always be wrong. If "they'll" strike again tonight.... I'm going to end this once and for all. I know you guys aren't trying too hard holding this guy back! Keeping him outside of the damn arena... I'm sorry but the Superstars need their space too ... if that ugly, dirty, smelly, diapered BITCH, decides that he can get away with this ... he's got another thing coming.....

Rachel Stevens - Back to you guys at ringside!

["Counterfeit" by Limp Bizkit blasts through the speakers, as Hacker steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... accompanied to the ring by GeniPher, standing 6'6" and weighing in at 283 pounds, from Miami, Florida, "Crystal Clear" Cody Covington!

["My Own Summer (Shove It)" by Deftones blasts through the speakers, as GeniPher and "Crystal Clear" Cody Covington step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - The ref is giving these guys both their warnings, and this one is about to get started!

[Suddenly, The EWA Theme blasts over the speakers, and Tom Stone makes his way out from behind the curtain...]

Vic Canon - What the?? Well, this should be interesting!

Tom Stone - Hacker, Hacker, Hacker!! You honestly thought that you would be wrestling here tonight?? Well, YOU'RE WRONG!! Hacker....... GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS BUILDING, NOW!!!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAHAH!!!!

The Informer - WHAT THE HELL IS THIS FOR?!?!

Vic Canon - We all knew Tom Stone hates Hacker, but DAMN!!! This guy is pretty damn uptight!

Tom Stone - And as for you, Covington... Well, I have a replacement! And he'll be coming out right after Hacker exits the building!

Eddie Sensation - Hmmmm... Who could it be?

The Informer - Well, soon enough, we'll find out! As soon as Hacker gets out of here!

Vic Canon - Well, he's slowly leaving, but he's not too happy about it!! Hell, would you be?!

Eddie Sensation - Hell no! I'd go smack Stone in the face a couple times if he did that to me!

The Informer - HAHAHAH, right!

[Totally out of nowhere the EWA Big Screen turns on and some pre-recorded tape of someone taking a shower is being shown. It looks like a man but is hard to make out.]

Vic Canon - HOLY JESUS!!

The Informer - Are they allowed to show that on TV?!?

Eddie Sensation - BARE ASS!! BARE ASS!!

[The mystery camera man gets closer to the shower and you can see that the person in the shower is none other than "Crystal Clear" Cody Covington! The fans are all on their feet watching this revealing video on the EWA Big Screen. Laughter fills the arena as Covington begins singing in the shower.]

Vic Canon - That's Cody Covington's bare ass!!

The Informer - Not to mention his... his....

Eddie Sensation - Eww!!! He's singing "Land Down Under" by Men at Work!! What a sick taste in music....

Vic Canon - Sick?? Whoever is filming this stuff of Cody is the sick person!! And I'll bet my bottom dollar that it's that jackass in the Diaper from last week!! That man has been stalking Quad C relentlessly!!

Eddie Sensation - Uh oh! Covington has just seen what's being shown on the EWA Big Screen and he is furious!!

[Suddenly, "Time Bomb" by Godsmack blasts through the speakers.]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'2" and weighing in at 256 pounds, from New York, New York, Nomad!

[Nomad steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Vic Canon - NOMAD?!?! DAMN!!! I FEEL SORRY FOR COVINGTON!! THIS IS GOING TO BE ONE HELL OF A MATCH!!!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT!!!! THERE'S DINO DELSANTE!!! OH!!! HE JUST NAILED NOMAD FROM BEHIND!! DINO DELSANTE AND NOMAD ARE BRAWLING IN THE ENTRANCE AISLE!

The Informer - DAMMIT, is this match EVER going to start?!

Vic Canon - I dont think so Informer, cause these two are brawling towards BACKSTAGE!

Eddie Sensation - OH!!! DINO DELSANTE THROWS NOMAD INTO THE GUARDRAIL!!

The Informer - LISTEN TO THESE FANS!! THEY'RE LOVING THIS!!!

Vic Canon - Take that as a warning fans! You buy a ticket to an EWA event, and you get LIVE action! Hell, that's why you're there!

The Informer - Look at Cody's eyes, he looks like he's about to snap. He really has been under a lot of pressure lately with the World Title situation and all, now this guy in the Diaper who is stalking him.... he's getting pushed over the edge...

Eddie Sensation - Shut up guys!! He's got a mic!! Maybe he's gonna sing!!

Cody Covington - That's it! I've had enough! I cant take this sh*t anymore dammit!! I've had it up to here with this video tape, Diaper Guy bullshit! This is gonna end right here... right now....

[The lights in the arena go out and a splashing sound can be heard. When they come back on Covington is covered with a sticky, white substance and is shaking violently.]

Vic Canon - Oh no, not again.....

The Informer - I think we better move!!

[The EWA Announce Team jumps from their seats and moves away from ringside as Cody Covington loses it. He's dripping from head to toe with this unknown white substance and is kicking the ring steps around. Covington grabs a steel chair and starts to bang it off the ring steps when a fan yells something to him about singing in the shower. Covington pulls the fan over the railing and begins to hit him in the face with rights and lefts. Suddenly, Cody stops and runs to the back. The EWA announcers take their seats back and begin to speak.]

Vic Canon - On behlaf of the EWA I would just like to apologize to the family of that fan for Cody Covington's actions.... that was totally uncalled for....

The Informer - A performer should never lay his hands on a fan...

Eddie Sensation - That guy asked for it!! Play with fire and you get burned!!

Vic Canon - Wait a minute! I'm getting word that something is going on backstage, our cameras our trying to catch up with the altercation....

[The EWA Big screen lights up and Cody Covington can be seen trying to get into the EWA Video truck. People are trying to hold him back but Quad C breaks through the door and starts shouting at the video crew and directors.]

Cody Covington - Ok, which one of you little son of a bitches showed that tape!!! I wanna know right now!!

Director - It was an unknown signal... it didnt come from here Cody!

[Covington starts to choke the director as everyone in the truck jumps up and pull the two men apart. Suddenly one of the video crew members plants a big wet one on Covington's face..... It's the Diaper Man!!!]

Cody Covington - HEY!! IT'S YOU!!!

Diaper Men - CODY!!!

[The Diaper Man runs out of the truck as Cody is in hot pursuit. The screen fades to black....]

Dino Delsante - Are you stupid? If you were me, and I was a jagoff with a microphone in my hand asking you the same thing, what would be your answer?

Rob DiMarco - Umm, I guess yeah?

Dino Delsante - Good answer, genius. Of course I want the World Title. In the past 6 months, the EWA has gone from being one of many good feds to being the best. Who in his right mind wouldn't want to be the EWA World Champion?

Rob DiMarco - We've also got to remember that Tom Stone has been the referee for BOTH Heavyweight Title Tournament matches so far... Do you think Stone will be out here again tonight?? And if so, will that have any effect on the outcome of this match?

Dino Delsante - Whatever Napoleon Stone wants to do makes no difference on "The Cornerstone." I'm going to go out there and take the Hustler to the limit. The Hustler and I have a LONG history together. The guy was in the first federation I was ever in. I know for a fact that he wants to be on top again, and there's no way I'm going to let him go through me to get there.

Rob DiMarco - Well, good luck Dino! Over to you Rachel!

The Hustler - Rachel, I'm going to take a moment here to let you realize the stupidity of the last questions you just asked. Do I WANT the title?! YOU BET YOUR ASS I DO. I got fuckin ROBBED by Stone in my match with Cody, so technically, I ain't never been pinned. But rhetorical bullshit ain't going to get me my title back........kicking Dino's ass though, that'll give me a shot. As many have you noticed, I haven't been around too much, and there's some personal reasons behind that. But, I guaran-damn-tee that after tonight, when I have pinned "The Cornerstone" for the 3-count, and move on to the main event of No Fear for the title, the EWA is going to get harder than ever before by Extremity At Its Best. Dino, you claim to be, pound-four-pound the most technically sound wrestler in the world. Not many can refute that statement. But, I am POUND FOR POUND THE WORLD'S GREATEST ASS-KICKER. I DO NOT TAP OUT. I DO NOT GIVE UP. FEAR AND ANXIETY DO NOT EXIST HERE. Dino, prepare for the biggest goddamn challenge ever in your life. And, after that, I'll move on, and it'll be nothing to take Jericho and Covington to once again, get my damn title.

Rachel Stevens - We've also got to remember that Tom Stone has been the referee for BOTH Heavyweight Title Tournament matches so far... Do you think Stone will be out here again tonight?? And if so, will that have any effect on the outcome of this match?

The Hustler - You know what? Fuck Tom Stone. I thought maybe after I nailed him with that chair a week ago, maybe some kind of sense would have been knocked loose in that bulbous Canadian head of his, but obviously not. I tell you right now, if Stone makes his way out tonight, I'll kill him. I'll take a break of wiping Delsante out of the title scene, to grab Stone, set his ass up for the most devastating finisher in wrestling today, just ask Jack Suede, and take his ass out for good, so I don't have to deal with that snot-nosed little schoolgirl anymore. Fuck Stone, and fuck anyone that disagrees with me.

Rachel Stevens - Well, good luck! Back to you guys at ringside!

Eddie Sensation - And it's between the former World Champion and the current International Champion. And both want that title just as badly as� just as badly as�

Vic Canon - As you want to get laid?

Eddie Sensation - Shaddup!

The Informer - Well, this is going to be big. The last time these two met, "The Cornerstone" was wearing a mask! Not only that, but he got the win over the Hustler thanks to� HOLD ON! I'm getting word from the back! Yes� yes, ok. We're going backstage for a breaking development for this match! Rachel Stevens, what's going on?

Tom Stone - Yes Rachel... Although I've been refereeing most matches, I'm going to stay backstage for this one. I think it's going to be a little brutal, considering that it's now a HARDCORE MATCH WITH NO DISQUALIFICATIONS!

Rachel Stevens - Tom, uh, Mr. Stone, why? Why did you decided to change the match when it's just minutes away from starting?

Tom Stone - WHY?!?! WHY?!?! ARE YOU F*CKING SERIOUS?!?! DID YOU NOT SEE DINO DELSANTE GET IN MY FACE JUST OVER AN HOUR AGO?!?! I'M THE OWNER AND THE PRESIDENT OF THE EWA, AND I CAN DO WHAT I WANT, WHEN I PLEASE! DINO WILL LEARN THE HARD WAY, THAT HE'S NOT TOM STONE, AND NEVER WILL BE!!

Rachel Stevens - Well, there you have it. Back to you, Informer!

The Informer - This is bogus! "The Cornerstone" put Tom Stone's ego in check and he decided to put Dino in a match that he hates! A Hardcore match! A No Disqualification Hardcore Match!

Eddie Sensation - Well, he is the boss! If I remember correctly, wasn't it you that hated when Dino was in charge here?

The Informer - That�that was different. It�it's just not right!

Vic Canon - It might not be right, but it's the official word from the top. If Dino wants to be the champion as bad as he says he does, he's going to have to step it up and get over it.

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a EWA Heavyweight Title Tournament Match! Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by Tracey Lane, standing 6'3" and weighing in at 235 pounds, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, the EWA International Champion, "The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante!

["Down" by Stone Temple Pilots blasts through the speakers, as Tracey Lane and the EWA International Champion, "The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - And for a man with a big mountain to climb, he looks to have all the confidence in the world!

Eddie Sensation - Yeah, well, confidence isn't going to win this match! He's going in against the greatest hardcore wrestler EVER! And those are Dino's words!

Vic Canon - Yeah, I somehow doubt that Delsante is going to be calling The Hustler a "hardcore jagoff" at any point during this match!

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'4" and weighing in at 242 pounds, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, The Hustler!

["Walk" by Pantera blasts through the speakers, as The Hustler steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Eddie Sensation - And here comes the former EWA World Champion, The Hustler!

The Informer - The man who was robbed, in my opinion!

Eddie Sensation - Dude, you better watch your mouth! Stone is definitely listening to this!

The Informer - Well, he pays me to have an opinion!

Vic Canon - The match is underway. And they're�they're just staring at each other. What's this all about?

The Informer - It's about respect. There�that head nod by Dino said it all. And the Hustler just cracked a grin. These men are united! They've both been screwed by Stone but regardless, we're gonna see a no holds barred fight!

Vic Canon - Collar and elbow tie up, Dino hip tosses the Hustler, Hustler charges in, another hip toss, and Hustler slides out!

Eddie Sensation - Wrestling moves will not save Dino in a hardcore match. He should be outside the ring taking it to the Hustler. This respect thing is going to be the end of him!

The Informer - Hustler comes back in, collar and elbow tie up again, Hustler pulls Dino into a headlock, Dino shoots him off, Hustler into the ropes, Delsante leap frogs, Hustler puts on the breaks and clotheslines Dino! Hustler picks him up and measures him for a right hand!

Eddie Sensation - Hustler hops out of the ring, and he's got a chair! See, the Hustler knows that this is for a shot at the EWA World Title! He knows that he has to do whatever it takes to win, mutual respect be damned!

Vic Canon - Delsante is up, Hustler has the chair, and Dino dropkicks him in the face! Dino picks him up and swings him into the turnbuckle�WITH AUTHORITY! Hustler staggers and Dino grabs him. Picks him up and drops him with a sidewalk slam! Delsante has him now. The Sammartino Backbreaker�when was the last time you saw that?

The Informer - A submission move! In a hardcore match! What are the chances?

Eddie Sensation - What are the chances this is going to work? The Hustler has taken worse punishment than this! You know he's not going to give up!

The Informer - True, but if Dino still works on that back, he might not be able to stand! "The Cornerstone" breaks the hold. Delsante now puts the Hustler into a camel clutch! The Hustler is trying to reach the ropes! But this is a No DQ match! He can hold on to those ropes for a year if he wants to! Dino doesn't have to break the hold!

Vic Canon - Hustler reaches the ropes, and as you predicted, Delsante isn't breaking the hold. But wait! Hustler is using the ropes to get to his feet. Hustler is up and he falls back ON THE CHAIR!! That'll break the hold! Hustler is up and he's going back outside. Delsante is still down! Hustler grabs another chair! And he's heading back in!

Eddie Sensation - He's setting it up between the top and second turnbuckle. Now he has Dino, whip into the turnbuckle, Dino reverses it, Hustler hit's chest first! Dino rolls him up from behind! 1�2�kick out!

The Informer - Where's Delsante going?

Vic Canon - He's coming outside1 Meanwhile, the Hustler is still trying to catch his breath. Dino�guys! Dino is setting up a table!

The Informer - This match is fixing to turn ugly real soon!

Vic Canon - Delsante comes back in to the ring. He has the Hustler up; Hustler breaks it up with a right hand, another, and another! He whips Dino into the opposite side, Hustler is down, and he sends DINO OVER! BUT DINO GRABBED THE ROPES! HE JUST BARELY MISSED GOING INTO THAT TABLE!! DINO PULLS HIMSELF IN!

The Informer - What an athletic move! Hustler sees him, comes with the clothesline, Dino ducks, and Hustler turns around and is met with a belly-to-belly suplex! He's up and he opens the chair up in the middle of the ring. Dino has Hustler in a front face lock. He's going to suplex him onto that chair! Hustler is up�he trying to shake out of it! Dino tries again, but Hustler blocks! Hustler reverses it�JACKHAMMER! Pin! 1�2�whoa that was close!

Eddie Sensation - When are they going to use the table? I'm getting restless!

Vic Canon - Hustler pulls Delsante to the outside! Eddie, you just might get your wish! They're trading rights and lefts. THEY'RE HEADING FOR OUR TABLE!

The Informer - NO, THEY'RE ON OUR TABLE! THEY'RE FIGHTING TOOTH AND NAIL! WE BETTER GET UP FROM HERE! RIGHT HAND FROM "THE CORNERSTONE" KNOCKS THE HUSTLER WOOZY! IRON CLAW! IT'S TIME! DINO LIFTS HIM UP AND�OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!! HE THREW THE HUSTLER THROUGH THE OTHER TABLE! THE HUSTLER HAS BEEN DESTOYED!

Eddie Sensation - HOLD ON! HERE COMES NOMAD! HE'S COMING FROM BEHIND DELSANTE! HE SPINS HIM AROUND! THE WANDERING THROUGH THE TABLE! HE JUST HIT DINO WITH THE WANDERING THROUGH OUR ANNOUNCE TABLE! DINO DELSANTE IS OUT COLD!

The Informer - Nomad drags the Hustler over to Delsante's carcass! Both men are out of it! Now he has referee Lance King by the collar and tells him to count! 1�.... 2�...... 3!!!!!!!!

Chris Myers - And the winner of this match, The Hustler!

The Informer - MY GOD!!!! THE HUSTLER IS GOING TO NO FEAR TO FACE CHRIS JERICHO, FALLEN ANGEL AND CODY COVINGTON FOR THE WORLD TITLE! DELSANTE HAS BEEN STOPPED AGAIN!

Vic Canon - But Nomad isn't done! He's got Delsante and he throws him into the ring! He has the International Title and throws it into the ring! He's back outside! What can he possibly?

Eddie Sensation - It's a ladder! He's got a ladder! He's setting it up in the middle of the ring and "The Cornerstone" is right under it! That's bad luck! He's climbing the ladder and he's posing with the International Title!

The Informer - EMT's have come out here to attend to the Hustler and "The Cornerstone." Meanwhile, we have to go to a commercial! We'll be right back!

Serial Thrylla - That's a statement, jackass, not a question. Don't you get paid to ask questions? You're one helluva television reporter DiMarco....Thank you for that in depth enlightenment. I should of put you in the microwave instead of Lodi.

Rob DiMarco - Oookay... What is more important tonight? Winning this match, or taking "the lead"?

Serial Thrylla - Pain, agony, suffering, embarassment... All feelings that I'm going to dedicate the rest of my life to.. making sure you feel them all... An eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Everything you've done to me, I've retaliated.. It's like we're playing a little game, keeping tally of each little point we score. WELL, RECKLESS, TONIGHT THE GAME IS FINISHED!!!! I'M GOING TO END YOU. IN JUST 2 SHORT MINUTES, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HIT THE CROSSROADS OF YOUR CAREER... BUT YOUR LIFE.....................

[Spoken extremely calmly, just an eyelash away from the camera.]

Serial Thrylla - Checkmate Reckless. Game....[long pause].... Over.

Rob DiMarco - WOW... Over to you Rachel!

Reckless - To say the least! It was 3 to 2..and now he's got it all tied up after nuking the head of Lodi. Well, he's finally done what everyone who has come in contact with me has wanted to do..get rid of that damn head! Well, last time you fucked with my property, I blew up your car. What do I do for an encore?

Rachel Stevens - You obviously have the mental advantage over Serial Thrylla right now. Are you going to use that to your advantage to win the match here tonight?

Reckless - It's been non-stop mindgames since I arrived here. Why would I stop now? I've gotten to Thrylla moreso that anyone! He don't know whats gonna happen next; where I'm gonna attack him, what I'm gonna destroy next. Well Thrylla, I'm planning on destroying your career next. It's time you got another helping of the Lost Cause, and a trip to ICU.

Rachel Stevens - Back to you guys at ringside!

["Welcome to the Fold" by Filter blasts through the speakers, as "The Hardcore Superstar" Reckless steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - Listen to these fans lay into him!! He certainly hasn't picked up any fans after his brutal attacks on Serial Thrylla!

Eddie Sensation - And again I say, he doesn't care! It's like he draws off the fans hatred of him!

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'2" and weighing in at 237 pounds, from Syracuse, New York, Serial Thrylla!

["Serial Thrilla" by Prodigy blasts through the speakers, as Serial Thrylla steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Vic Canon - Thrylla slides under the ring ropes and is immediately met by Reckless! Reckless putting the boots to Thrylla! Reckless picks up Thrylla, whips him off the ropes, Reckless attempts the clothesline, but Thrylla ducks.... Thrylla stops on a dime. Kick to the gut by Thrylla, Thrylla off the ropes, knee lift right on Reckless's chin!

The Informer - I think Reckless's teeth just landed in the front row! Thrylla picks up Reckless, Irish whip. Oh MY! Thrylla just back body dropped Reckless outside of the ring! Reckless is getting up slowly... HERE COMES THRYLLA! Pescado attempt....

Eddie Sensation - But Reckless moved! Thrylla's jaw just hit the safety rail! Reckless picks up Thrylla, and throws him into the steel steps!

The Informer - The shoulder of Serial Thrylla just made a sickening thud as it hit the steps Reckless rolls Thrylla back into the ring.

Vic Canon - Reckless is up on the apron. Slingshot Somersault Legdrop! But he's getting up, no pinning attempt!

Eddie Sensation - He deosn't want to pin him so soon! He wants to hurt him!

The Informer - Reckless pulls Thrylla up and executes a full armdrag and twist. Back heel kick attempt by Reckless, but Thrylla ducked! Thrylla grabs him. Overhead Belly to belly! Cover by Thrlla 1.... 2..... kickout!

Eddie Sensation - You're gonna have to work a little harder to pin a guy like Reckless

Vic Canon - I have to agree there, neither of these men are going to go down without a fight. Thrylla picks up Reckless, Whip to the ropes, Beautiful spinning heel kick by Serial Thrylla.

The Informer - Looks like Thrylla is going up top. Both of these men love to fly. Guillotine legdrop by Serial Thrylla, but RECKLESS MOVED!

Eddie Sensation - Reckless was playing possum! Reckless is up and he throws Serial Thrlla into a corner. Kick to the gut, and another, and another! Reckless grabs Thrylla by the head and Reck sits on the top rope! I think I know where this is heading!

Vic Canon - Tornado DDT by Reckless, no! Thrylla by landing on his feet..NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! 1..... 2....... kickout!

The Informer - Beautiful counter by Serial Thrylla picks up Reckless again..Tiger Driver! But Thrylla doesn't go for the cover. He's going to the outside. He's looking under the ring apron and he has.... a.....

Eddie Sensation - a conveniently placed ladder! Wow, I wonder how that got left there!

The Informer - Thrylla throws the ladder into the ring and it lands on Reckless. Thrylla gets back into the ring, and sets the ladder up in one corner.

Vic Canon - Thrylla whips Reckless into the corner, but Reckless reverses it! Thrylla goes right into the ladder. Here comes Reckless with a spear, but Thrylla moved! Reckless went headfirst into the ladder! Reckless is writhing in pain!

The Informer - Serial Thrylla goes up top and holds the ladder. What's he doing! He's riding the ladder all the way down, and crushes Reckless! Listen to these fans! They're eating it up!

Eddie Sensation - Hyenas! Every last one of them!

Vic Canon - Thrylla continues to refuse to go for a cover! He's out to maim Reckless!

The Informer - He's doing exactly what Reckless would be doing right now! Thrylla is setting the ladder up, and now he's climbing it. What's he gonna do? My God! Frogsplash off the Top!! Cover..... 1..... 2..... kickout!

Eddie Sensation - That's it Reck! Never say die!!

Vic Canon - Thrylla is in shock! He can't believe he kicked out! Thrylla is doing a throat slash! We could be ready for D-F-A. That's what the fans are chanting!

The Informer - No, He's setting him up for a vertical suplex. What the..... LOST CAUSE!! LOST CAUSE!! Thrylla just hit Reckless with his own finisher! 1..... 2...... kickout! I can't believe Thrylla just used Reckless's own move!

Vic Canon - Reckless just won't give up, even though Serial Thrylla has been absolutely relentless! Thrylla picks up the ladder and charges Reckless. But Reckless dropkicks the ladder! Thrylla goes down, and Reckless goes down as well. The ref begins the 10 count!! ..... 1.... 2.... 3.... 4..... 5.... Reckless is getting to his feet. As is Serial Thrylla.Thrylla attempts a running clothesline, but Reckless ducks and catches the arm. He grabs the other as well, Release Tiger Suplex!

Eddie Sensation - Thrylla landed right on his head! And look at Reckless, he's standing over him laughing! Reckless grabs the ladder and places it on top of Thrylla and then hops onto the ring apron.

The Informer - Reckless springboards onto the ropes, and holds there for a second. 450 splash! Springboard 450 splash onto the ladder! I've never seen anything like it!

Vic Canon - Reckless really hurt himself there as well. He's holding his ribs!

Eddie Sensation - He can't be hurting as much as Serial Thrylla. Now Reckless has Thrylla up. He picks him up..Running Ligerbomb! Cover.... 1.... 2.... kickout!

The Informer - What resiliency by both men tonight! Reckless picks up Thrylla. Shortarm clothesline, but Thrylla ducks! Thrylla grabs Reckless and attempts a German suplex, Reckless blocks it, standing switch by Reckless. Forward roll by Serial Thrylla into an anklelock submission!

Vic Canon - What a series of moves! Reckless is in a world of hurt, but is inching towards the ropes. He grabs the ropes, but Serial Thrylla refuses to let go! The ref counts to 5, but Serial Thrylla won't let go! Finally, the ref pulls Serial Thrylla off of Reckless.

Eddie Sensation - Hey, Thrylla's strategy is sound. Reckless is known for high flying moves, take away a wheel, and you take away most of his game!

The Informer - A sound strategy it is too! Reckless is up and is hobbling, trying to get some circulation back in the leg. Thrylla comes up from behind and dropkicks the leg!

Eddie Sensation - It's target practice now! He's just gonna lock in on that leg for the rest of the match!

Vic Canon - Thrylla is a man possessed! Reckless keeps trying to get up, but Serial Thrylla continues to put the boots to that injured leg! Reckless pulls himself up in the corner, but Thrylla keeps kicking on the leg. Thrylla runs back into the other corner.

The Informer - Thrylla could be going for a big splash. He does, but Reckless falls down! Thrylla hits the turnbuckle. Reckless is up behind him. Kick to the gut. He's got him up in a vertical suplex position..here it is!!

Eddie Sensation - NO NO NO!! Reckless's leg gave out! Both man go crashing down! Thrlla landed awkward, almost as if Reckless gave him a brainbuster.

Vic Canon - We all know what Reckless was really going for! Reckless is up and walking it off a bit, and he's beginning to get some mobility. Reckless walks over to Thrylla, and Thrylla rolls him up! 1..2..kickout! Thrylla almost stole one there!

The Informer - Thrylla and Reckless are both up on their feet. They're staring each other eye to eye. This is a rare break action, it's like a sign of respect.

Eddie Sensation - OUCH, Reckless just gave Thrylla an eye full of saliva soup. That's just gross.

Vic Canon - And here we go again, Reckless with a kick to the stomach. He butterflies the arms. The Hardcore Superstar picks Thrylla off of his feet. He's doing an airplane spin! WHAM! He just let go and sent Thrylla straight to the mat.

The Informer - Reckless is a sick and twisted individual. He's opening up the ladder and wedging Thrylla's body in there... Now what... OH GOD! HE JUST CLOSED THE LADDER LIKE A PAIR OF SICCORS ON HIS BODY!!!

Eddie Sensation - He slices, he dices, he makes julian fries. Kick his ass C-bass!

Vic Canon - Oh man, Reckless wants to kill Thrylla. It started at NC-17 "Pure Violence" with an attack from behind on Thrylla. This fued progressed to an attack on Thrylla's own home. Mr. D-F-A got his retaliation by stuffing Reckless into a city dump truck.. But then just last week, Reckless detonated the holy van that's become a trademark of Serial Thrylla. Will it end here tonight finally?!

The Informer - Reckless unfolds Thrylla and places him conviently across from the corner turnbuckle. Reck's setting up the ladder and now he's climbing all the way to the stars... GUILLOTINE LEG....

Eddie Sensation - Hell no! IT'S THE ALABAMA JAM, shades of "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton with that huge leg drop. Hell with that guillotine mexicana crap.

The Informer - Reckless with the cover, 1....... 2...... Wait a second! Someone's making their way down to the ring with a table! Reckless has given up on the cover... Who is that man?

Vic Canon - It's none other than PEGASUS WARRIOR!!! LISTEN TO THIS CROWD!!! Question is, why is he here??

The Informer - Well, he's set the table up for dinner. Now what? What the hell?!

Eddie Sensation - Someone better have marshmellows! He's about to torch the table!!!

Vic Canon - I don't believe it!!! Pegasus torched the table and now he's climbed into the ring. Is he on Thrylla's side, or Reckless'? ...and listen to this crowd! They're chanting for a 3 Way Dance!

The Informer - Will the crowd get what they want?? Reckless extends his hand to the Warrior... Will he return the favor?! NO!! Pegasus whips Reckless into the ropes, he catches him, Northern lights bomb!!! Reckless is down! Without hesistation he's going straight for Serial Thrylla! Thrylla swings, but misses... Pegasus catches him, T-Bone driver! Pegasus is walking tall right now! LOOK BEHIND YOU PEGASUS! Low blow out of desperation by Reckless.

Vic Canon - Reckless is groggy, but he's standing. Pegasus Warrior is in a world of genital pain right now. Reck has set Pegasus Warrior on the top rope. Super-plex attempt? No.... OH GOD! RECKLESS WITH A TOP ROPE FRANKSTEINER OUT OF THE RING ON TO THE FLAMING TABLE! Both men must be dead!

Eddie Sensation - Thrylla got it easy on that one. He just looked outside the ring and he's in shock! It looks like a massacre took place out there.

The Informer - Indeed, Thrylla's extremely lucky. He's just sitting calmly in a corner trying to collect his thoughts. This crowd is in quite a buzz right now. What a Tuesday Night Heat is has been for the two participants in this grudge match. Today started with a supermarket brawl during a food drive, it continued with the microwaving of Lodi's severed head, and we will finally finish weeks of violence with the conclusion of tonight's match.

The Informer - Thrylla is moving very slowly. He outside the ring now. Thrylla just rolled Reckless back into the ring. He's struggling to pick up the dead weight of Reckless.

Vic Canon - Finally, he has Reckless off of the ground. Uh oh.. he's going to the top rope... This can only mean one thing!! And the crowd is chanting it right now!! ....DFA!!!

Eddie Sensation - NO NO! NOT Dogs Frogs and Arachnids! WAKE UP RECKLESS! NO!

The Informer - He's struggling with the dead weight of Reckless. LOOK OUT REFEREE! Thrylla just dropped Reckless from the top. He didn't have the strength to hold him up there. Serial Thrylla is exhausted.... And what the hell!?

Eddie Sensation - PEGGY JUST ROSE FROM THE DEAD ON THE OUTSIDE!

The Informer - Pegasus Warrior climbs into the ring... He's got Reckless, Acid Drop?? NO! ROLLER COASTER PEGGYDROP! That inverted Acid Drop manuever Pegasus turns into an inverted DDT! He's looking over at the near unconscious Thrylla on the top rope.

Vic Canon - Pegasus climbs to the top with Thrylla..... RICKSAW SPIKE!! A DEVESTATING ROLLING TOMBSTONE FROM THE ROPE!!! LISTEN TO THIS CROWD'S REACTION!

Eddie Sensation - Maybe this Pegasus guy isn't so bad after all!

The Informer - A bottle of water just came flying into the ring from the crowd. Peggy picks up the water.. He just dumped it all over the head of Reckless! NOW HE'S PUTTING RECKLESS ON TOP OF THRYLLA!! NO!! Pegasus pulls the referee over!

Eddie Sensation - I GOT THE CALL ON THIS ONE! 1...........2...........3!!!!!!!!!!!!! THRYLLA LOSES! THRYLLA LOSES!!! THAT'S THE FIRST TIME HE'S EVER BEEN PINNED DURING HIS LONG AND ILLUSTRIOUS EWA CAREER!!!!! HAHAHAHA!

Chris Myers - The winner of this match.... RECKLESS!

Vic Canon - Pegasus just pulled out an N-B-L t-shirt.... He's draping it over Thrylla!! That stands for NATURAL BORN LEGENDS... the group Pegasus Warrior and Reckless were apart of that tore through the NHBWF! I never thought I'd see this! NBL IS BACK TOGETHER!!

The Informer - This is disgusting! Reckless and Peggy are walking out of this ring together... Now we know why this coward Pegasus Warrior has returned... I think Reckless may have just scored the go ahead run... Is it Game over for Thrylla??

Eddie Sensation - Oh, you better believe that, bro! The Informer is heading up into the ring getting ready to conduct the first Face-To-Face BITCHFEST!

Vic Canon - Eddie, please!

Eddie Sensation - Well! What else do you wanna call it? We're gonna have 2 guys who absolutely hate each other come out here, and they're gonna bitch at each other until there ain't no bitchin' left to bitch about!

Vic Canon - I think I understood that� yeah. Fans, it's no secret that over the course of the last 10 months or so, a rivalry, which started out as a snowflake, continually rolled down the hill, gained momentum, and�

Eddie Sensation - Brother! Don't try to sugar-coat this! THESE GUYS HATE EACH OTHER! Diamante actually tried to kill Chandler! Chandler has choked out Diamante every time he's had the chance too!

Vic Canon - Well, yes� ok! Fine! Fans, we're about to see 2 guys who basically wanna kill each other step into the same ring on either side of a podium, and well�

Eddie Sensation - Say it!

Vic Canon - �Ok, fine! Bitch at each other!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA! Yeah! And with that said, let's head up to the ring with The Informer! This is gonna be some fun!

The Informer - Ladies and gentlemen, bear with me here because I'm extremely nervous and fearful for my own well being right now!

Eddie Sensation - HA! I love it!

Vic Canon - Well, at least he's being honest here!

The Informer - In just a moment, I'm about to conduct a face-to-face meeting of the minds between 2 men who have developed one of the hugest rivalries ever here in the EWA! One man's hatred for the other sent him traveling across the world to seek employment in the Orient! The other man returned to the EWA 8 months ago simply to get revenge on the other man for his comments! Ladies and gentlemen, we're about to have a war of the words� and it promises to get ugly!

Vic Canon - You can say that again!

Eddie Sensation - I can just hear the ratings going up!

The Informer - So, without further adieu, allow me to introduce the participants!

Vic Canon - Amen! Listen to this crowd, they're loving it!

Eddie Sensation - HA! I remember back a few months ago when Elroy and Leroy Johnson had one of these BITCHFESTS! It was a classic, but it won't hold a candle to this one!

The Informer - First, allow me to introduce the man who claims to have returned to the EWA to get revenge on Chandler some 8 months ago! Here is�� NICK DIAMANTE!

["Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against The Machine blasts over the speakers as Nick Diamante steps out from behind the curtain. He's wearing an original ReVoLuTiOn~X� t-shirt with the sleeves torn off� a pair of gray stone-washed jeans, and a pair of black leather Nike boots�]

Vic Canon - Look at Diamante! For the first time in a little while, he's actually got a smile on his face! A demented one, yes� but he does look happy!

Eddie Sensation - Hey, this is his opportunity to expose Chandler as a fraud to the entire world! He's been waiting for this chance for� damn, almost a year!

Vic Canon - Nick Diamante is stepping up into the ring, and The Informer doesn't seem too comfortable in there!

Eddie Sensation - HA! I'm calling it! Before this night is over, The Informer is gonna lose a couple of teeth trying to maintain order in this one!

The Informer - And his opponent in this face-to-face encounter� he is the man that decided to make a drastic change in his day-to-day life, and even leave the United States and head to the Orient because of Nick Diamante�

[Nick Diamante kicks the little podium stand with the little rinky-dink microphones on it and watches it crumble. He laughs, and grabs the microphone from The Informer�]

Nick Diamante - The damn thing always ends up breaking anyway, so I figured I'd get that sh*t out of the way right now! Chandler, get your 2-time yellow ass out here right now!

Vic Canon - Uh oh!

Eddie Sensation - My ass is covered in goose bumps!

[The lights go dark and the slow, hypnotic opening of "Ready Or Not" by the Fugees begins to play over the PA. A lone spotlight shines on Clayton Chandler as he enters the arena and walks towards to ring as soon as Wyclef begins his verse. He climbs into the ring and the lights come back on. The music slowly fades out�]

Vic Canon - And there he is! Chandler has come out to play tonight! And he, just like Diamante, looks to be in a wonderful mood!

Eddie Sensation - Dude, in the office pool, I have 5 minutes reserved!

Vic Canon - 5 minutes for what?

Eddie Sensation - I mean these guys are gonna end up brawling 5 minutes after this thing starts!

Vic Canon - Good choice! I'd have to say 3 myself!

Eddie Sensation - Chandler's in the ring� but Diamante still has the mic!

Nick Diamante - [Loooooooooooooooooooooong Pause] Hey Yo! Listen up, bitch� this is how it's gonna be! Informer, just get outta here right now before we both do a number on ya, alright?

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA! Poor Informer!

Vic Canon - Chandler is asking for a mic.

Eddie Sensation - My God! This is gonna rock!

Nick Diamante - Yeah, somebody get his sorry ass a mic before I shove mine up his ass!

Vic Canon - My goodness! What wholesome family programming we've got here for you tonight fans!

Eddie Sensation - HAHA! That was actually funny dude!

Vic Canon - Chris Myers has given Chandler his microphone, so both men are set! It looks like we're also going to be joined once again by The Informer!

Eddie Sensation - HA! Informer, you got your ass out of there ASAP didn't you!

The Informer - You bet your life on it! I'm perfectly willing to be an audience member in this one!

Chandler - Alright bitch, you won the toss backstage, go ahead and give me all you can, because, mother fucker, I'm gonna kick your ass here in a few minutes if this sucks. Gimmie everything you got.

Nick Diamante - Yeah, I'll give you everything I got! And I ain't out here to freak everyone out with some big f*ckin' words nobody knows! I'm here to tell the Goddamn truth about Clayton Chandler� AND HOW THIS B*TCH TRIED TO STEAL MY SPOT IN PRO WRESTLING!

The Informer - Good Lord! This one is gonna get out of control!

Vic Canon - The censors should be paid overtime on this segment!

Nick Diamante - I'm gonna take everyone back to "The Glory Days" of the Extreme Wrestling Association! All was cool back then, and the competition was as good as it has ever been, 'till this day! When I got deeply involved in the EWA, the territory was divided into 3 pieces! There was the patch of grass owned by Team Ballz� the half an acre dedicated to jobbers and midcarders� screw The Brink's crew because they're still all a bunch of talent less posers! AND THEN THERE WAS THE DAMN ACRE THAT WAS OWNED BY REVOLUTION X! TO THIS DAY, THE HOTTEST COMMODITY THAT THE EWA HAS EVER OWNED!

Eddie Sensation - Damn right!

The Informer - Well, RX was powerful in their day! No one can deny that!

Vic Canon - Powerful? They owned half the roster in the EWA!

Eddie Sensation - WHY DO YOU THINK THEY CALL THE EWA "WRESTLING REVOLUTIONIZED"!

Nick Diamante - When I ran Rev-X from behind the scenes, sh*t was beautiful! The money was good, the fans were happy, and the EWA stood for competition! Upon arrival into the EWA, IT WAS EVERY DAMN WRESTLER'S GOAL TO BE THE MAN TO TAKE DOWN THE MIGHTY PURPLE AND GREEN GIANT! And ya know why? Because when I do something, I do it right! I WAS AND STILL AM THE SMARTEST BUSINESS MAN IN THIS GAME! Everyone wants to give Tom Stone credit for keeping the EWA on top?! BULLSH*T! With my genius-like qualities and exceptional marketing skills, I'M THE MAN WHO KEPT THIS PLACE RUNNING! I GAVE THE NEW PUNKS SOMETHING TO FIGHT FOR! AN ULTIMATE GOAL! TO FINALLY END THE PATH OF RAGE THAT RX BROUGHT UPON THIS COMPANY!

Chandler - Umm�Nick�yeah, over here buddy. Now, CORRECT me if I'm wrong�BUT�who had the world title? Who had the tag titles? And, fuck dammit, the majority of the time, who had the lightweight title? US, faggot-ass bitch. Who drew the ratings�US. Who ran the backstage area like some fucking generals, keeping this shit together while y'all are off drinking that cheap German import shit? US. BUT, who had Stone's ear�why�I do believe that was y'all. Get your fucking facts strait bitch.

The Informer - HA! Chandler doesn't mind telling it how it is!

Nick Diamante - No, get YOUR facts strait you stupid Cajun f*ck! You just don't want me telling the truth! By the way, check the record books because X-Pac held that Lightweight Title longer than you've been living! And you call yourself "The Best Cruiserweight In The Biz"� BULLSH*T!

Vic Canon - Ouch! This one is heating up already!

Eddie Sensation - The truth hurts, and Chandler knows it!

Nick Diamante - Like I was sayin', sh*t was rolling smoothly in the EWA! Until today's current era in the EWA, the excitement level was never as high as it was during the RX-era! Back then, Chandler� the new punks never came to the EWA because "Chandler had to be stopped"� OH NO! THEY CAME BECAUSE MY CREW NEEDED TO BE STOPPED! You were lost in the shadows! Nothing! A nobody! Just some punk teenager who was trying to make a living! And you did that the only way you knew how! You rode on the coat-tails of another legend! But I'll get to that sh*t later! Game, set, match� BITCH! Lemme hear what you have to say about that!

The Informer - Well, I guess it is still my job to keep a grasp on this one, so I'll summarize it for the benefit of the fans who are just joining us now. Nick Diamante has been going on and on about "The Glory Days" of the EWA where he was dominant as the backstage manager of highly-successful stable, ReVoLuTiOn~X�! He claimed that back then Chandler was a nobody!

Vic Canon - Ok, I'll admit that RX was the talk of the wrestling world back then, but by no means was Chandler a nobody!

Eddie Sensation - Ah, he sucked! Let's see how he talks his way out of this one!

Chandler - You sure you're done�

Nick Diamante - Yeah, for the time being! I wanna hear what you've got to say about this! But believe me, I'm nowhere near done exposing your ass for the fraud that it is!

The Informer - It's not much longer before these guys start scrapping! Believe me!

Chandler - Haha�this is gonna kick ass�ONE WORD, Nick, is all I have as a rebuttal. Bullshit. Everything you just said was a complete load of Canadian horse shit. Lets start this shit from the top, shall we?

Vic Canon - Well, sit back boys, we're gonna be here a while.

The Informer - Want some popcorn?

Chandler - SHUT UP, YOU FUCKING QUEERS. And, DAMMIT, get that mic on me. Because now�.

[Chandler throws off his Tennessee baseball cap and pulls off his "Thryll to Kill" shirt. He tosses them into the crowd and picks his mic back up�]

Chandler - �NOW I'M FUCKING PISSED!!

Vic Canon - Ohhhhhhhhh shit�let me have some of that pop corn, the shit's about to hit the fan!

Eddie Sensation - Look! Diamante's laughing at Chandler's teenage rage! HA!

Chandler - Diamante, you just told about twenty million people in TV land a total lie, and you expect them to believe you. Because, Nick, I've been in this company just as long as you have. I've had booking powers, maybe on a lesser scale, sure, but I've had backstage power just as long as YOU have. You try to pass yourself off as the man that made the EWA what it was? What the FUCK man?!? Revolution~X was ran into the ground a few weeks after it started, and THAT IS A FACT.

Nick Diamante - OH REALLY? [Laughs] Enlighten me, willya??

Chandler - Nick, name me one thing Revolution~X did as a stable that led to a more productive and lucrative EWA during their run. Anything at all. Bringing in the Anvil? Oh yeah, that's grade-A shit right there. Making some jobber lose his contract at a pay-per-view? ME AND SERIAL THRYLLA OWNED THAT PAY-PER-VIEW!! You think people paid their money to see Revolution~X? Why the fuck would they do that?

Eddie Sensation - Hey Vic, you ever notice how the censors cut Nick's cusses, and not Chandlers? What's up with that?

Vic Canon - Its in Chandler's contract, they can't do that, now SHUT UP, this is great!

Chandler - Revolution~X did absolutely nothing for their entire run in this company, besides hogging the spotlight and holding other people down. You ever wonder why the people I consider the greatest team ever, The Regulators, don't get the recognition they deserve? Because you, you fuck, had them wrestling total fucking losers like X-Pac and Razor fucking Ramon. Whats the matter, can't create your own talent, huh, bitch?!?!

The Informer - Damn! Damn� damn!

Vic Canon - Indeed. That one hit a soar-spot!

Chandler - Because you see Nick, you are nothing but a big, tall, fat�hell�obese, Canadian piece of Bubblicious on the bottom of my New Balance. NO ONE likes you. They don't boo you because you're supposed to be a heel, dumb fuck, they boo you because THEY WANT YOU TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS RING!!

[Big pop from the fans as they start a "fuck him up Chandler" chant. It dies down and Chandler continues.]

Eddie Sensation - HEY! LOOK AT THE EFFECT THIS GUY IS HAVING ON OUR YOUTH!

Chandler - For�shit�for a whole fucking year I carried this company on my back, whether fully or with some help. Naturally, I didn't carry the World Title, I left that to my flashier companion, but I swear to god, behind the scenes and on the road, I WAS THIS COMPANY!!! You were nothing! You were a side attraction, a little something extra. I WAS WHAT PEOPLE PAID FOR!!! And if you deny that fact, my pleasantly plump counterpart, just, uh, listen to these fans chief.

[HUGE "Chandler is God" chant. The sound of Nick's voice slowly drowns out the fans.]

Nick Diamante - HA! MY GOD! JUST LIKE BACK THEN YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO TWIST YOUR F*CKIN' WORDS INTO SOMETHING THAT SEEMS REMOTELY BELIEVABLE! Let's get this straight right now, pal! THE ONLY REASON YOU'VE GOT ANY DAMN FAN SUPPORT AROUND HERE IS BECAUSE YOU CONSTANTLY SWEAR LIKE THE LITTLE TEENAGE B*TCH YOU ARE!

Eddie Sensation - HA! IT'S TRUE!

Nick Diamante - YOU FORCE THESE FANS TO LOVE YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE ONE OF THEM! A FOUL-MOUTHED, NO-TALENT WANNABE WHO GOT LUCKY! Chandler� back in the day, you were something remotely special because you had the guts to be different! But now� now all you do is come out here and cut your little promos� [Chandler impression]� F*CK THE F*CKING F*CKERS!

The Informer - Good God! Fans, we're sorry!

Nick Diamante - �F*CK 'EM UP GOOD AND F*CK 'EM UP LONG! YOU HAVE NO TALENT! ALL YOU ARE IS A FOUL-MOUTHED B*TCH THAT CAN'T GET HIS FACTS STRAIGHT!

Vic Canon - My goodness, this one is heating up! Chandler looks pretty pissed off in there!

Nick Diamante - YOU DARE SAY REVOLUTION X DID NOTHING FOR THIS COMPANY?? Then explain to me why the first Full Revolution PPV IS STILL THE LARGEST GROSSING SHOW THAT THE EWA HAS EVER RUN! BECAUSE REVOLUTION X RAN THIS PLACE! NOT YOU! RX! And you say we never did anything for this company?? YOU MUST HAVE HAD YOUR HEAD UP YOUR ASS 5 MINUTES AGO WHEN I TOLD YOU RX GAVE THE NEW TALENT SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR! IT WAS EVERY ROOKIE'S GOAL TO KNOCK RX OFF THE TOP!

Eddie Sensation - MY GOD! I have never seen Nick so pissed!

Nick Diamante - You see that "Thryll To Kill" shirt you just tossed into the crowd! I CAME UP FOR THE NAME OF THAT DAMN PPV! I CAME UP FOR THE NAME "BEYOND THE LINE '99"! You did nothing, ya understand me�. NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT I HAVE DONE FOR THE EWA! You wanna know what my motivation was when I opened the D.O.A.-PRO? I WANTED TO SHOVE IT IN STONE'S FACE THAT THE EWA WOULD CRUMBLE IF HE DIDN'T HAVE MY HELP! So now, Chandler� you tell me exactly what happened in the next few months after I left! Why did the EWA fold for a couple of month? AND WHO WAS IT THAT RETURNED TO PICK THIS SUNNUVABITCH RIGHT BACK UP AND BRING IT TO THE HEIGHTS IT'S UP TO TODAY??? HUH??? ANSWER ME, B*TCH!

The Informer - My God! We've got a stalemate here! Both sides have made some great points!

Vic Canon - And you've got to give it to both men for staying calm! And not fighting!

Eddie Sensation - Yeah, but once Diamante tosses some more truth Chandler's way, Chandler's gonna attack Diamante, you watch! Because he can't deal with the truth!

Chandler - YOU STUPID FUCK!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHY THE FULL REVOLUTION WAS THE HIGHEST GROSSING PAY-PER-VIEW EVER?!?!?!

The Informer - I know where he's going with this one.

Vic Canon - Yup, me too.

Chandler - IT WAS THE HIGHEST GROSSING PAY-PER-VIEW EVER BECAUSE ME AND COCHESE CAME BACK THAT NIGHT!!!

Vic Canon - COCHESE?

Eddie Sensation - Serial Thrylla, dumbass.

Vic Canon - I knew that!

Chandler - And when we did come back, guess what happened to me? I got stuck in some LAME FUCKING ASS "DEMENTED" GIMMICK THAT DIDN'T FIT ME AT ALL!!! And who's idea was that gimmick? Thomas D. Stone. And, lets go back here, WHO had Stone's ear for a year and a half? Nicholas Q. Diamante. You talk about my fan support, but you know, deep down, that the fans love me more than they will or EVER have hated you!!!

The Informer - Ouch! Damn� these fans sure are reacting to that one!

Chandler - And you know what the deal is, Nick? That makes you sick. I can do very little and remain the most over competitor in this company, yet you have to legitimately piss everyone in this industry off to get booed. I've said this before, YOU DON'T GET BOOED BECAUSE YOU'RE A HEEL YOU FUCKING DUMBASS!!! They boo you because they don't want you on their television screens. NOBODY LIKES YOU, NOBODY BUYS TICKETS BECAUSE OF YOU, YOU, Nick, ARE NOT OVER!!!

The Informer - WOAH!!!

Vic Canon - It took some balls to say that!

Eddie Sensation - Yeah, but its BS! Chandler is playing the role of home ball team here and these fans will cheer anything he says! No matter how stupid it is!

Chandler - Diamante, you did not turn shit around on your return. Look at it, when you returned, the heavyweight strap was put on Zed and Deuce. And this isn't a knock on either person, but THE EWA DID ITS WORST BUSINESS EVER WHEN THOSE TWO WERE CHAMPION, AND THAT'S A FUCKING SHOOT!!! YOU DID NOT TURN SHIT AROUND Nick, get that through you're head. You wanna know what turned this shit around? ME. MY return. THEN people started to pay attention to the EWA again, THEN all the old timers came back, THEN we started to get the monster ratings we get now, NOT BEFORE.

The Informer - Look at Nick, he's pissed! So mad he's not even facing Chandler!

Vic Canon - Damn! Look at his face! He's laughing! You know you've pissed a guy off when he's laughing at every word you're saying!

Chandler - I mean, look at you. You're 3 times bigger than me, and 5 times fatter than me, and 2 times taller than me, yet, you've never won the world title, have you? I'm six feet tall and two hundred and twenty pounds�a lightweight. Yet, I have been to the mountaintop, I have ruled this company, I have been successful outside of this country, and I have competed in the greatest match in professional wrestling history. NOT YOU. And it makes you sick doesn't it? DOESN'T IT?!?! Because you just don't understand do you, you don't understand how someone with my size and my, apparently, "dumbass southern gimmick", can get twice as many cheers as anyone on this planet. You don't see how someone like me can sell out the Tokyo Dome four times in one year. YOU SIMPLY DON'T SEE how I can beat the living shit out of anyone and everyone that competes in this business. You don't see it do you Nick? Well guess what, these people see it. EVERYONE SEES IT. But not you. Because you're pathetic. You're a leech. You have NO IDENTITY�.

Vic Canon - MY GOD!!

Chandler - �You suck Nick.

The Informer - Wow! Amazing! No one has ever been as straight forward as Chandler!

Eddie Sensation - Look at how quiet Nick is, its like he's contemplating something.

Vic Canon - You don't think that Chandler has pushed Diamante far enough to start a scrap here, do you?

The Informer - I wouldn't doubt it at all! I have never seen Diamante look so visually pissed� yet carrying a smile on his face!

Eddie Sensation - Guys, I learned a long, long time ago that if you piss off a guy so far enough that he can't stop laughing� then you know his fuse is almost completely burnt out!

Vic Canon - Good point! But hush! Diamante looks like he's gonna speak again!

Nick Diamante - [Laughs] Ya know� [Laughs]� Chandler� maybe you do have a point there. Maybe I don't have an identity!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT??

Nick Diamante - Just because I never sold out and became one of "da boys", eh? [Laughs] Or maybe it's because I was the one guy who threatened your position in the EWA by being, oh� a self-starter? A man amongst his own island? When I think of your "crew" from back in the early days of the EWA, I've always wondered to myself, why? Why? Why do these guys think they're God's gift to pro wrestling? Sure, The Regulators� Nomad� Death Row� Vietnam Sam� Serial Thrylla� Chandler� those names are all synonymous with the success of the EWA's early days. And no, I won't say you guys sucked� no, not at all.

Vic Canon - Is he finally beginning to break?

Nick Diamante - But quite frankly, your own egos are a little too big for my liking. I figure you guys became friends and you gained a little stroke in the company because of your strength in numbers� yeah, the numbers game� so suddenly you felt like you were worth something. But keep this in mind, Cajun. There's always going to be one man out there who legitimately KNOWS you guys were and are nothing more than a couple of AVERAGE WRESTLERS who formed together in a "Clique" sense to make sure you all got what you wanted� basically blackmailing Tom Stone to get him to do what you want, when you want it!

Eddie Sensation - A NEW GOSPEL HAS BEEN WRITTEN BOYS! PRAISE THE WORD OF DIAMANTE� TRUTH-TELLER!

Nick Diamante - Cajun� THAT MAN IS ME! NEVER WILL YOU CONVINCE ME OF THE CRAP THAT YOU'VE BEEN FORCE-FEEDING THE WORLD FOR THE LAST 2 YEARS! Because I, Chandler� I know the truth. I'm not like the Cody Covingtons and Thorns of the world who kiss up0to your crew just to be "over with the boys!" I'M MY OWN MAN, AND THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE! You like the security of knowing that there's always gonna be a crew of "little people" kissing your feet, huh? Just because you have this biiiiiiig reputation, huh boy?

Vic Canon - Damn! Now we're getting into reputations! This one is gonna turn into a war any second now!

The Informer - We've just been told that we're staying on the air until this one is completely over fans! Thanks to the people back in the station!

Nick Diamante - [Laughs] I guess it would be cool to have a bunch of mindless drones kissing your ass 24/7� but if I ever truly want to know the feeling, I'll ask "The Crystal Clear One"� cause Lord knows he's made of a living outta testing chap-stick on all your asses!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!! POOR COVINGTON!!

Nick Diamante - When it comes to respect� true, real RESPECT back in the locker room� I know that I've got a crew of guys myself who respect me. And I totally appreciate it. I've done a lot to help these guys� and they've done the same thing back to me! I've got my haters� I've got my fans� and no, there are no shades of grey. You either like me and the way I work, or ya hate me� simple as that. And I give my fans and my critics something to judge all the time. Chandler, you think of yourself as something real important to this sport, so let me ask ya this. Has an organization ever crumbled with your actions as the NHBWF did with mine? Probably not� because you never had the guts to try something like tha� wait, no. YOU NEVER HAD THE BRAIN-POWER OR BALLS TO TRY SOMETHING LIKE THAT!

Vic Canon - Well, the NHBWF incident probably was the biggest and most controversial inter-organization happening to have ever gone down! And to say that it shook the foundations of pro wrestling� man, that's the total truth! And there's no way around it!

Eddie Sensation - What's Hamric doing these days anyway?

The Informer - Rumor has it that he's into used car sales.

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!!

[Diamante begins to take a few steps forward�]

Nick Diamante - You always were a bitch, Chandler�

Vic Canon - Uh oh! THIS AIN'T GOOD!

[Chandler begins to take a few steps forward as well�]

Nick Diamante - But it's funny, because in the end� I kinda think you and I are a lot alike� to tell you the truth�

The Informer - MY GOD!! WE'VE GOT A HEATED STARE-DOWN HERE!!!

Vic Canon - RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!!

Nick Diamante - You're a rebel� I'm a rebel� we like to do things our way, don't we?

Eddie Sensation - Chandler is saying something to Diamante! But thank God the mic isn't picking it up!

Nick Diamante - Yeah, we've both got our good qualities and our bad qualities, but at least�

Eddie Sensation - AT LEAST??

Nick Diamante - Yeah� [Laughs]�at least�

Vic Canon - AT LEAST WHAT??

[Diamante, with a HUGE smile on his face begins to slowly face the crowd as he speaks�]

The Informer - CAN YOU FEEL THE TENSION IN THIS RING???

Nick Diamante - At least there's one thing I can never say I am�

Vic Canon - THESE FANS ARE ALL ON THEIR FEET!! AND THEY'RE HANGING OFF OF EACH AND EVERY ONE OF NICK'S WORDS!!

Eddie Sensation - I LOVE THIS FEELING!!! THIS IS PURE EWA HEAT BABY, YEAH!!

Nick Diamante - Chandler�

[Diamante turns around and gets right in Chandler's face once again with a serious look on his face�]

Nick Diamante - AT LEAST I AIN'T THRYLLA'S LACKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! AHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

The Informer - Oh��My��God��.

Vic Canon - He just didn't�� no�..

Eddie Sensation - OH YES HE DID!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!

[Chandler looks down and begins to smile and laugh aloud� and then looks Diamante in the eyes�]

The Informer - OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! WE KNEW IT WOULDN'T LAST MUCH LONGER!!!!!!!!! CHANDLER HAS ATTACKED DIAMANTE!!!!!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY THESE MEN ARE GONNA END UP KILLING EACH OTHER!!!! CHANDLER IS ON TOP OF DIAMANTE!!!!! WHAM!!!!!!! WHAM!!!!!!!! RIGHT HANDS!!!!!!!!!!! NOW HE'S CHOKING DIAMANTE!!!!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - NO!!! NO!!! YEAH!!! YEAAAAHHH!!! YEAH BABY!!!! NAIL HIM DIAMANTE, NAIL HIM!!!!!!! WHACK!!!! BOOH YEAH!!!! RIGHT IN THE DAMN NOSE!!!

The Informer - IN THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF THE EWA� THERE HAVE BEEN WARS� THERE HAVE BEEN BATTLES� BUT JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!!! NEVER HAS THERE BEEN PURE HATRED LIKE THE KIND THAT EXISTS BETWEEN CHANDLER AND DIAMANTE!!!!

Vic Canon - SOMEONE HAS TO GET IN THERE!!!! DAMNIT!!!!!!!!! THIS HAS CROSSED THE LINE!!!!!!! THESE FANS ARE GOING INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!! THE BUILDING IS RUMBLING!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - THE DAMN RING IS FILLING WITH OFFICIALS AND SUITS!!!!!!!!! THE ENTIRE COMPANY IS COMING OUT HERE!!!!!!! BUT THEY MIGHT AS WELL CALL THE DAMN ARMY NOW BECAUSE THESE 2 HATE EACH OTHER!!!!

The Informer - FANS!!!!!!! THIS IS BEYOND ANYTHING I'VE EVER SAID IN MY PROFESSIONAL CAREER�� BUT I REALLY DON'T THINK THE EXTREME WRESTLING ASSOCIATION ISN'T BIG ENOUGH FOR BOTH CHANDLER AND DIAMANTE!!! ONE OF THESE MEN IS GOING TO HAVE TO GO OR THERE WILL NEVER BE PEACE IN THE EWA!!! FANS!!!!! WE'RE OUT OF TIME!!!!!

Vic Canon - HIROSHIMA!!!!!!!!!!!!! HIROSHIMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - CHOKE!!!!!!!!!! CHOKE!!!!!!!! CHOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Informer - MY GOD!!!!!! GOODNIGHT EVERYONE!!!!!!!!