The Informer - WELCOME TO TUESDAY NIGHT HEAT!!!!!

Vic Canon - A SOLD OUT RECORD CROWD HAS PACKED INTO THIS GIANT ARENA HERE IN TEXAS!!!!

Eddie Sensation - AND WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE HERE TONIGHT!!!

The Informer - That's right Eddie! We'll see Zed, Dino Delsante, Deuce, The Hustler, Da BJ Boyz, Cody Covington, Hacker, Denial and many, MANY more superstars!!!

Vic Canon - Also, we have footage earlier today of Divine and Tom Stone! Be sure to check that out!

Eddie Sensation - We have North American and Tag Team Title action, as well as 2 other Non-Title Matches!

The Informer - This is going to be a great show!

Vic Canon - What a way to kick off the millenium!!

Eddie Sensation - Let's get started! I can't wait!

The Informer - We have Dino Delsante scheduled first..... AND HERE HE COMES!!!

The Informer - Well, the new year has certainly brought some surprises here in the EWA. If you ask me, the EWA is in a state of turmoil.

Vic Canon - And at the center of it all, the man in the ring.

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - So, I'm sitting in my condo in Pittsburgh. And I'm watching the EWA Weekly Review show on Channel 53. And who should be there, right on TV, giving an interview? Zed. Good Ol' Zed. And, just as I said on Saturday, he was just boo-hooing about how the Cornerstone sucks. On and on. And through it all, I can't help but think that the little bitch is ducking me.

[The crowd begins to boo.]

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Don't kill the messenger. And it hit me, like a pair of tig bitties in the face. ZED IS AFRAID OF ME! Think about it. The only reason why he had the belt�was because of me! Now, he's crying like a little girl with a skinned knee.

The Informer - Dino Delsante sure does sound confident in there!

Vic Canon - I wouldn't blame him though. He's got everything going just the way he wants right now. Whoa... wait a second... I'm getting word from the back...

Eddie Sensation - WHAT???

The Informer - Huh??? There's something going on back stage??

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - See, Zed, you think you're doing everyone a favor by commenting on the state of the EWA now as opposed to when you originally joined. And you think you're some kind of authority about the way things are and the way they should be. But in reality, you are a frightened child. In reality, you're a loser. You're a loser because you can't be big enough to face the challenges in your life. Quite simply, you can't rise above anything that has the potential to bring you down. Time to shoot.

Vic Canon - What's going on??? What are they saying?

The Informer - NO!...You're kidding me!!

Eddie Sensation - Did someone get jumped or something?

The Informer - No...they're telling me not to say anything. Apparently someone is on his way out here...and, well...we're gonna find out in a few moments!

Vic Canon - This is insane!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - You bitched on and on about how you can't be here if we are going to run on angles instead of roleplay evaluation. Well, it's clear to me that the only reason why you can't is because you don't have the ability to---(he looks into the crowd.) Oh, Christ. Here we go again.

The Informer - OH MY GOD!!! HE'S BACK!!! LOOK, OVER THERE... OUT FROM THE CROWD... IT'S "THE DIAMOND STUD" NICK DIAMANTE!!!!

[The camera focuses on a section of the crowd where the fans are seen going ballistic. The camera shot is a bit unstable, however, we soon see "The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante making his way through the crowd wearing a long, black leather trenchcoat, blue jeans, and a pair of Nike boots. On his face he wears nothing but a determined look...]

Eddie Sensation - AMEN AND GOD BLESS!!!!! HE'S BACK!!!!! HE'S BACK!!!!!!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Well, folks, just when you think 2/3rds of all the garbage in the EWA was gone, one third makes his presence known. (He hands Leroy his jacket and takes off his shirt, as if he's ready to fight.) I embarrassed you once already, Nick. Now, I'm going to make this quick because the TV crew only gives me 10 minutes max for interviews.

Vic Canon - Diamante is over at the ring announcer's table... and he just grabbed a mic!

The Informer - Finally! After over a month of silence, we're finally gonna get to hear what's going through this man's head!

Eddie Sensation - Yeah baby! He's climbing up into the ring...

Vic Canon - Will you listen to these fans!! Nick isn't the favorite of the fans around here, but I guess they're happy to see him back!

The Informer - That, or they're just ready to see these 2 men scrap!

Eddie Sensation - Guys! Hold on... he's about to speak!

"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - I've spoken to some of the "high-authority figures" in the back, and they've agreed to give me my time to get some stuff off my chest, right here and right now.

Eddie Sensation - YEAH BABY!!!!!

"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - So, Dino D... I know you and I hold nothing but hatred towards one-another right about now... but I think even YOU can find enough courage in your heart to sit back and be patient while a wrestling legend speaks his mind.

The Informer - That's respectable.

"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - This is my time to let the world know what's going on with me right now... and what will happen in the future of "The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante. With that in mind, I ask not to be interrupted by anyone. It's a modest request from a man who has done nothing but good for this company.

[Nick takes a looks at Dino Delsante across the ring, and begins to speak again...]

"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - When I look back at the career of Nick Diamante in the world of pro-wrestling, it sends chills up and down my spine. I've lived out so much of my life within the walls of the penitentiary known as "the world of wrestling"... and I can honestly say I've lived out my career to it's fullest. Whether it was in the EWA... the D.O.A.-PRO... involved in When Worlds Collide, or just sitting back waiting for the offers of employment to come tumbling onto my desk... I can honestly say that I've spent my time the way I wanted to... without listening to anyone, doing everything my way.

[The fans begin to cheer...]

"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - The one complaint I could ever bring up is the fact that other people's jealousy kept me from achieving MY GOAL! The goal of becoming the EWA World Heavyweight Champion. Like a broken record, I'll go on and on about ReVoLuTiOn~X�... the undisputed GREATEST stable in the game, period. The HY2K can go on and on about how they've reached a pinnacle much higher than that of the R~X Crew for as long as they want... but they truly know in their minds and hearts that nobody is buyin' the crap that they're sellin', and that's the truth!

[Some familiar "RX... RX..." chants fill the arena...]

"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - [Smiles] Yeah, that's right. I'm the reason these fans are chanting "RX"... and I'm the reason the EWA did some of it's best business EVER just over a year ago! Like it or not, my success has made believers out of everyone, but it has also made ME, Nicky D, the most hated man in wrestling.

The Informer - Boy oh boy, he can say that again!

"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - It's a title a wear proudly. To say that "Nicky D is the most hated man in wrestling" means that I've given people something to be jealous of. People say that Serial Thrylla is the best thing that has happened to the EWA... but, somehow, I really don't see how the entire 5 minutes that he spent in the EWA changed anything. Thrylla was a man with promise... but I stole his spotlight, and he was never the same. Then there's TBL... a guy who sits on his throne as the high and mighty GOD of wrestling. I've taken that spot, TBL... and since you don't have the guts to accept the challenge I've presented you with time and time again, I'll always keep it in my head that you're scared of the man you could never take.

[Delsante yawns and pretends to fall asleep on the turnbuckle.]

Vic Canon - Delsante is getting a bit restless in there.

"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - Chandler?? NoMaD?? Oh please! Those 2 punks sit on top of my jealous list! What I'm saying here fans is that all these men make such huge claims, but none of them can honestly say they've done for the EWA what I have. They all live off of their name recognition while I'm out doing the stuff that they never could.

[Diamante turns and looks at Dino Delsante again...]

"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - Dino Delsante. [Smile] Or should I say Sir Psycho Delsante. Funny dude, funny. I'll admit it. You outsmarted me and you stole my spotlight. You're sitting on top of the EWA right now, and you're in line for the title. Yeah, you've taken my spot in the EWA, and I want to congratulate you. You're the only man to have ever made me look like a fool... the only one to have ever made me eat my words... and the only one to have ever humiliated me to such a point. Dino, you deserve to be where you are at right now. You've stoped the "TDS" Express hot in it's tracks... something nobody else has ever been able to do. Don't get me wrong, Delsante. Besides myself, you're probably the man that I respect the most in this sport. I really hope you take that title away from Zed because unlike him, you have an ounce of talent in you.

Eddie Sensation - That-a-boy Nicky D!

"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - However, Dino... there's 2 sides to the story. You've taken my spot in the EWA... but in the process, you lost a friend. I used to think that you and I would wreak so much havoc on the world of pro-wrestling. With respect to Vince Di Nardo, never before have I met a man as similar to myself as you are, Dino. You and I could have been so successful, and we could have been the best of friends... but you threw that away, Delsante. It may seem fine right now... you're on top because of what you did to me. But Dino, when you're 85 sitting in your rocking-chair watching the tube and feeling all lonely, remember... I won't be there to share the last years together with you. It may sound lame, Dino... but you've lost a friend because of your greed!

The Informer - Another good point.

"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - Now that "The Diamond Stud" has had his spot take from him, what's left to be done?

[Nick takes a long look into the audience with a blank stare on his face...]

The Informer - I wonder what's going through his mind.

Vic Canon - This isn't the same "Diamond Stud" that we're use to seeing. This is Nick Diamante, the man behind the gimmick, and he's pouring his heart out for us!

Eddie Sensation - I'm really concerned... Something just doesn't seem right.

"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - After a month of speculation... wondering... and thinking... I've come to one conclusion.

[Nick once again pauses for a moment with a very troubled look on his face...]

The Informer - He looks very troubled up there. I don't understand what's going on here!

Vic Canon - I have honestly never seen this side of Nick before. It's kinda shocking to see it now, because I truly believed that this side of him never existed!

Eddie Sensation - I... what's going on here???

"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - At this time, I reluctantly announce my retirement from the world of professional wrestling and I...

[A collective sound of disbelief and jeers fills the arena. Dino begins to wipe the imaginary tears from his eyes...]

Eddie Sensation - OH MY GOD NO!

The Informer - Oh... Oh, no.

Vic Canon - This is absolutely stunning.

Eddie Sensation - Nick, please! Think it over!

"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - I'd like to apologize to anyone who I've let down in anyway. Nicky D has just seen his better days... and they've just passed me by.

The Informer - Look at Delsante in the ring! That bastard! He's laughing!

"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - So, Dino Delsante... EWA... Wrestling world... I leave you with one last thought. In this world, misconceptions are always apparent. To believe in something is one thing... but to live the life is another. Nick Diamante really has "Got The Life" and I'm living a life free of misconceptions. Fans... Boys in the back... can you say the same about yourselves? Do you have the ability to distinguish between reality and clouds of darkness?

The Informer - WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN???

Vic Canon - I have no clue!

"The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante - I want to thank everyone for helping Nicky D live the life. And I want to make one more thing crystal clear. Tom Stone... you're my brother, and I hated being forced to "hate" you each and every week on TV just for ratings. It brought in the cash, but I wanna let everyone know that Tom Stone is a great human being, and a friend of "The Diamond Stud"! It's been one helluva ride everyone, and remember... "The Diamond Stud" Nick Diamante will remember you.... FOREVER! Thank you.

[The entire arena stands and begins to cheer for Nick Diamante as he waves to the fans and gives Dino Delsante one last look as he leaves the ring...]

Eddie Sensation - I really can't believe this day has come.

The Informer - Like him or not, Nick is a legend... a great wrestler and an overall great mind in this business. This man has done so much for the EWA, and he's going to be sorely missed!

Vic Canon - For the longest time this man has been hated by each and everyone of these fans, but right now, they're standing up and showing their appreciation for this man!

Eddie Sensation - He's heading up the ramp for the last time. Nick... we're gonna miss you around here brother.

The Informer - Dino has a confused look on his face up in the ring right now, but I'm sure we'll get his opinion in just a moment.

Vic Canon - Nick Diamante, thanks for the memories! And thank you for helping make the EWA what it is today!

The Informer - Goodbye Nick!

Eddie Sensation - "The Diamond Stud" will live... FOREVER, in out hearts!

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Now that the soap opera portion of our show is over, let's have security start handing out the Kleenex to everyone at ringside. While I'm sure some of you found that to be real touching, there are more important matters at hand here. And if I can get through one freaking interview without interruption---

[Suddenly, "Faget" by Korn hits the PA. The crowd is stunned, now knowing who to expect. Suddenly, Tom Stone appeares from behind the curtain and makes his way to the ring�]

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Ok, President and Owner, I'd like to know how you're going to solve this mess. I'm supposed to have a title shot at 3D Warfare, and your champion is AWOL. So, you can either hand me the belt now, or just stand there with that stupid look on your face and admit that Zed just put the EWA in the toilet!

Eddie Sensation - WHOA! Strong words from the Cornerstone!

The Informer - Well, he better watch his mouth or he'll be out of here too!

Tom Stone - After all this commotion, the thing that bothers me most is how everyone thinks that Zed can throw his weight around in the EWA�. What you've failed to realize is that I AM THE MAN IN CONTROL, AND NOBODY BUT ME HAS POWER IN THIS PLACE!! Zed, you think you can throw the title around like it's as worthless as you?? That's your first mistake�And that mistake alone has made me make a decision�Zed, on January 16th you will be defending the EWA Heavyweight Title�

[The crowd is confused, wondering who his opponent will be.]

Tom Stone - And your opponent will be, this man right here, DINO DELSANTE! �Whoa whoa whoa� Hold on!! I'm not done yet!!� THEIR opponent in this TRIPLE THREAT MATCH WILL BE DEUCE!!!

Vic Canon - OH MY GOD!!! YOU CANT BE SERIOUS!!!

Eddie Sensation - ZED, DEUCE AND DINO DELSANTE?! IN ONE MATCH?! THAT'S CRAZY!!!

Tom Stone - Enjoy boys!!!

The Informer - I cant believe it!! Tom Stone has just dropped a bomb on the EWA!

Vic Canon - I can't wait until 3D Warfare!

The Informer - Delsante's flabbergasted! He is beside himself! Where is he sending Tracey and Leroy off to?

Eddie Sensation - I don't know, but we better listen to the man.

"The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante - Stone, you might think you've just done the best thing for your fed, but I won't be denied. I'll go through anyone you throw at me. It can be a six pack challenge for all I care, I WILL BE THE NEXT EWA WORLD CHAMPION! Now, if I can get to my point without any further interrup---

[The lights start to flicker and fade to black. "I, Zombie" by White Zombie starts to play through the PA system.]

The Informer - Well, I guess we are gonna hear what Deuce has to say about this triple threat match.

Eddie Sensation - Where is he?

Vic Canon - I dunno he usually likes to bask in the spotlight but he hasn't stepped through the curtain yet.

The Informer - There is some ruckus going on in the ring. With the lights out we can't see what's going on.

Eddie Sensation - I hope that Dino is ok.

The Informer - The lights are coming back on.... LOOK! LOOK!! ITS DEUCE!!!

Vic Canon - AND LOOK AT DINO!! HE'S LAID OUT FLAT!!!

Eddie Sensation - OH MY GOD! DEUCE KILLED DINO!!!

The Informer - That's a little over dramatic don't you think?? But look Deuce is sitting on the turnbuckle laughing hysterically.

Vic Canon - What is so funny. Here we got Dino laid out obviously by Deuce and all he does is laugh!!

The Informer - Deuce now asking for a mic. Look at the methodical way he struts around the ring.

Deuce - What you people and Dino fail to realize is that there will be only one person that walks away from the 3D Warfare the Deuce~weight Champion. And that will NOT be Zed, and that will NOT be "The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante. It will the one and only... BIGG DADDY DEUCE. Now, of course it won't be Zed cause Zed quit. And as you can see by Dino's limp body laid out flat for the whole world to see, that it won't be him. So that leaves only one person.

The Informer - Can you imagine Deuce as our champion?

Vic Canon - I think I might quit.

Eddie Sensation - Are you guys nuts. Who better to be champ.

The Informer - Folks we have just about seen it all tonight. And we are just getting started.

Deuce - You know Stone, comes out here and throws his weight around like he owns the joint. but when it comes right down to it. We all know who rules around here. And it sure as hell ain't Stoner~boner. So, Tombus, think about this when you are thumbing a ride home tonight. Cause when the "Sexiest Chest in Wrestling" steps through those ropes and The Cornerstone sees The Foundation standing across from him heads will roll and blood will spill and when all the dust settles, Dino Delsante will know... WHO'S YOUR DADDY!!??

The Informer - FOLKS, DONT GO AWAY!! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!!!

Justin Credible - Jay-C! Jay-C! His name is Jason Chandler for christ sakes, don't let him hide behind his star name, make him feel like he's somebody he isn't! You know what that's a question I can answer I'm tired of living in my brothers shadow, he said that he'd help us beat the newest team of EWA, well nope I'm sorry fans, but he's at home with his wife slightly knocked out due to my cane shot and a micky that I slipped in his drink, if I lose, I lose by myself and due to nobody else, is that clear?

Rachel Stevens - In a few seconds you'll get into the ring with the newest tag team in the EWA, Extreme Velocity. Judging from their huge entrance, they seem to be a great team! Do you think that they're over rated?

Taz- Huge entrance, Rachel are you talking about their packages or did you see something that I didn't, you see Slut I mean Stevens they did nothing but jump 3 teams, they didn't cause any damage they didn't make an Impact all they did was do their finisher on Justin and throw me to the crowd. I've known them since DOA and besides that crazy SOB Sane, the team sucks more then that quiter Zed bitches. Speaking of rated, in light of my friends Jay-C debut, their not just over-rated, their rated muthaf*cking G, and could never make it up to X, unlike your recent video Rachel which I hear is a Triple X showing.

Justin Credible - They've never been anybody to be afraid of, just becausr their veterans and have name that is known. I don't care who they are, even if their Tom Stone and Nicky D they won't stand a chance against me.

Rachel Stevens - I've been informed that next week on Heat there will be a Tag Team Battle Royal to determine #1 Contenders... The winners will go on to wrestle the Tag Team Champions on January 25th... Participants have not been announced, but are you guys one of them?

Justin Credible - Who's to say that I'll be alive after tonight, your guess is as good as mine, on who's going to be in it. Stone's choice it's up to him...

Taz- Tonight will probably be a match that we won't survive, we plan on taking it to the extreme like never before, rather that be us crashing down through tables or feeling their finisher again.

Rachel Stevens - Alright... Lets send it to the ring!

["Let's Get This Party Started" by Korn blasts through the speakers, as Extreme Velocity step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And their opponents... weighing in at a combined weight of 476 pounds, Taz and Justin Credible, The Impact Players!

["Get Out Tha Way" by Hot Boys blasts through the speakers, as Taz & Justin Credible step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - We're finally going to see what these two are all about!!

Vic Canon - Honestly, I think they're all talk!

Eddie Sensation - Shut your mouth Vic! They'll dispose of these two idiots in a few seconds!

The Informer - Are you working for them??

Eddie Sensation - No...

Vic Canon - Then why do you seem so confident? And why did they pull The Informer in the ring last week, and not me?! We all know you're a little jealous of him, and always pick on him!

Eddie Sensation - Oh, you'll pay for that one Vic... you wait...

The Informer - I'm sure he will!

Vic Canon - There's the bell! And Extreme Velocity quickly go to work!

Eddie Sensation - Dreyborn is nailing Taz in the corner!! And look! Justin Sane has Justin Credible up on his shoulders... OH! BACKBREAKER!

The Informer - He Vic, he knows their names! He must have been studying them all week!

Vic Canon - No, I think that the names are fresh in his head, since he is constantly with them every minute of the day!

Eddie Sensation - What the hell are you talking about?! I AM NOT WITH THEM!!

The Informer - I bet... Dreyborn throws Taz across the ring... CLOTHESLINE by Justin Sane!

Vic Canon - Damn, these guys are pretty dominant... I guess I was wrong...

Eddie Sensation - Your damn right you were!

The Informer - Sane and Dreyborn drag Justin Credible to his feet... They throw him to the ropes... Double Drop Kick! .....followed by a leg drop by Dreyborn!

Vic Canon - WHAM! AND A MOONSAULT OFF THE TOP BY JUSTIN SANE!

Eddie Sensation - What a move!

The Informer - Funny thing is, this entire match has been two on one! The damn thing hasn't started yet! Lee Fleming better get control of this match!!

Vic Canon - Justin Sane has stepped out of the ring, and Taz is on the apron in his corner... Dreyborn approaches Justin Credible... OH! LOW BLOW!!

Eddie Sensation - Justin Credible bounces off the ropes... Hurriconran--NO!! POWERBOMB BY RICHARD DREYBORN!!

The Informer - Dreyborn tags in Justin Sane.... Wait a minute... Sane is going to the top!! Dreyborn applies a Boston Crab... HERE COMES JUSTIN SANE OFF THE TOP!! OH!! MOONSAULT!!!

Vic Canon - What the hell?! These guys have been dominating all match, but haven't gone for a pin yet!!

Eddie Sensation - They're just waiting for the right time!!

The Informer - Justin Sane picks up Credible... He's got him set up for a Powerbomb!! Sane tags in Dreyborn... Justin Sane lifts him.... OH!! POWERBOMB INTO A NECKBREAKER!!

Vic Canon - What a move!! And they still aren't going for the cover!!

Eddie Sensation - Dreyborn is applying a Figure Four!! He's going to make him tap!!

The Informer - Justin Sane is still in the ring... He's setting up for something!! Sane is locking his legs under Justin Credible's arms.... He locks his legs behind Credibles head!! OH MY GOD!! LISTEN TO HIM SCREAM!! HE'S ABOUT TO TAP!!!

Vic Canon - NO! TAZ IS IN! He breaks the hold just in time!!

Eddie Sensation - Justin Credible is a lucky guy... His torso would have been in 10 peices if Taz didn't come in!!

The Informer - Taz is back in his corner... Dreyborn scoops up Justin Credible, and tags in Justin Sane! Sane is going up to the top!! Dreyborn NAILS a Powerslam!! HERE COMES SANE OFF THE TOP!! OH! GULLOTINE LEG DROP OFF THE TOP!!

Vic Canon - Here comes Taz! He swings with a clothesline, but Justin Sane ducks! He has Taz in a German Suplex position... No... He lifts Taz and drops him on the top rope! Justin Sane goes up top... Dreyborn is in position... Justin Sane lifts him...

Eddie Sensation - ........OH GOD!!!!

The Informer - JUSTIN SANE JUST GAVE TAZ A BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX OFF THE TOP, AND DREYBORN CAUGHT HIM ON HIS WAY DOWN INTO A NECKBREAKER!!!! TAZ IS TWITCHING IN THE RING!!

Vic Canon - Extreme Velocity look pumped!! They're signalling for something....!

Eddie Sensation - Dreyborn throws Justin Credible to the ropes... Credible bounces back... Dreyborn lifts him up into a Gorilla Press Slam!! Justin Sane gets into position.... Dreyborn drops Justin Credible!! OH!! JUSTIN SANE WITH A FRONT FACE DDT ON A FALLING JUSTIN CREDIBLE!!!

The Informer - WHAT A MOVE!!

Vic Canon - THATS THE MOVE WE SAW THREE OR FOUR TIMES TWO WEEKS AGO!!!

Eddie Sensation - It's called Armageddon boys!! Look! They're going for the pin!!

The Informer - Lee Fleming counts... 1..... 2...... 3!!!!

Chris Myers - And the winners of this match.... Extreme Velocity!!

Vic Canon - A VERY impressive win, I must say!!

Eddie Sensation - [Mocking Vic...] They're all talk!! They suck!!

Vic Canon - I didn't say they sucked, Eddie!!

Eddie Sensation - Yeah but you implied it!

The Informer - Wait a minute... They're not done! They're both carrying The Impact Players backstage!!

Vic Canon - What the hell are they doing Eddie?!

Eddie Sensation - How the hell should I know?!?!

The Informer - Folks, we gotta go to a commerical break! Don't go anywhere!!!

Vic Canon - We're back on Heat, and a camera man has followed Extreme Velocity backstage!! Look guys, they're in the Parking Lot!!

Eddie Sensation - They're heading for that car over there! What the hell are they doing?!

The Informer - What the?? They've just thrown Justin Credible AND Taz into the car, and locked the doors!!

Vic Canon - OH SHIT!! THEY'VE GOT BASEBALL BATS!! LOOK OUT!!

Eddie Sensation - AHAHAHAH!! THEY'RE BEATING THE CAR WITH BASEBALL BATS!!

The Informer - Why is that so funny? They're beating a car..... That's pretty stupid if you ask me!

Vic Canon - Good point!

Eddie Sensation - It's not stupid when they've got GAS IN THEIR HANDS!!!

The Informer - OH NO!! GET SOME HELP!! THESE GUYS ARE LUNATICS!!!

Vic Canon - THEY'RE POURING GAS ALL OVER THE CAR!!!

Eddie Sensation - And under it!! They're trying to blow up this car!!!

The Informer - THEY'RE FUCKING NUTS!!!

Vic Canon - Now they're pouring a trail of gas.... Their going to light and watch it from a distance!! Hurry up and get some help back there!!

Eddie Sensation - Dreyborn has some matches!! The match is lit!!!

The Informer - PLEASE DONT DO THIS!! THERE ARE HUMAN BEINGS IN THAT CAR!!!

Vic Canon - OH NO!! HE DROPPED IT!! THERE IT GOES!!!!

[KABOOOOOOOM!!!]

Eddie Sensation - AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHA!!!!!

The Informer - OH MY GOD!!! CUT TO A COMMERCIAL!! CUT!! CUT GOD DAMMIT!!!!

Vic Canon - .....welcome back folks... I... I cant beleive it...br>

Eddie Sensation - AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

The Informer - I think we have a reply... Here you see these two assholes covering the car with gas... Now they're making themselves their--hold on a second!! LOOK!! THEY GOT OUT!! THEY GOT OUT OF THE BACK WINDOW!!!

Vic Canon - THANK GOD!!! I THOUGHT THEY WERE KILLED!!!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! SUCKERS!!!

The Informer - They'll get theirs... you wait....

Vic Canon - Lets send it backstage to Rob DiMarco!!

Ayden Caldato - Cut the sh*t DiMarco. You know I plan on winning that title, and even if I don't.. as long as Big Daddy F*ck doesn't come out with it around his waist, my goal will be half way accomplished.

Rob DiMarco - There are rumors flying around backstage that your good friend and fellow Guilty Party member Thorn is scheduled to come out here tonight... Do you have any idea what that's about??

Ayden Caldato - I haven't talked to Thorn in quite some time, I'd love to get to the bottom of it, but he's been dead silent lately. I sure as hell hope it's good news, GP needs it, and needs him. Anything else dipf*ck?

Rob DiMarco - Two weeks ago, Denial dropped a WALL on you... Are you pla--

Ayden Caldato - Stone... here's a New Years resolution for ya... HIRE SOME GOOD DAMN EMPLOYEES for the new year!

Denial - The chances are slim....for Ayden and Hacker. I needn't discuss the chances of me coming out on top because I WILL be coming out on top. Despite what Ayden says, despite what Hacker says, there will be a new champion...a new champion named..Denial....Ayden has thrown himself into the North American scene unexpectantly, he has thrown himself into the skew of things, for that reason he does not deserve the North American Title....Hacker fools himself into thinking he is the best North American Champion but he doesn't see the truth. The truth that he isn't good at all. If not Ayden, then I will show Hacker why he does not deserve that title. I'll show him why he doesn't deserve the title no more than Ayden and vice versa ...In the end I will come out the North American Champion...neither Hacker nor Ayden can deny themselves of that fact.

Rachel Stevens - What you did to Ayden Caldato two weeks ago was ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE!! He's obviously coming out here tonight with revenge on his mind... Are you ready for him??

Denial - That is your opinion...what I did to Ayden was merely payback...payback for thinking he could enter the EWA and claim that he is worthy of the North American Title. I've said it once and I'll say it again, that didn't sit well with me....I've been asked repeatedly "Why did you do that?"...What Ayden said and did ran through my mind differently from everyone else...I felt it was nessecary to do what I did. And when I do something...it's for a good reason.....As for revenge...Ayden will want revenge, but can he revenge me? Will he be able to? That's the question. Will he be able to "get one up on me" as a lot of people like to put it. Ayden has been blinded by this rage...by his brain, to get revenge. But what he is not seeing is me...all he sees is a man, a man much like Hacker. One with no skill, one with no abilities, one without the power to fight back...That's the man that Ayden is seeing and that man is the complete opposite of me. Ayden has to realize that he's dealing with me, not with a brainless fool like Hacker...Hacker must realize who he is dealing with, also...none of them have a chance against me...they must realize that...and once it is all said and done...that won't be able to deny that...

Rachel Stevens - Thanks for your time... Let's send it to the ring!

["Wait And Bleed" by Slipknot blasts through the speakers, as Ayden Caldato steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'4" and weighing in at 258 pounds, from Detroit, Michigan, Denial!

["Denial" by Sevendust blasts through the speakers, as Denial steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And their opponent... standing 7' and weighing in at 341 pounds, from Detroit, Michigan, the EWA North American Champion, Hacker!

["Smoke On The Water" by Deep Purple blasts through the speakers, as the EWA North American Champion, Hacker steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - Well folks, this one should be a good one!

Vic Canon - Damn right! We're gonna see it all in this match!

Eddie Sensation - Here we go! Denial is going right for Ayden Caldato! Ayden ducks a clothesline, and nails him with a spinning heel kick! Denial goes down! HERE COMES HACKER! LOOK OUT!

The Informer - NECKBREAKER BY HACKER! Ayden didn't know what hit him!! Hacker sneaked up behind him and nailed him with that one!

Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!

Eddie Sensation - MISSLE DROPKICK TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!!

The Informer - Denial just took out Hacker with a missle drop kick off the top!!

Vic Canon - This match is looking good already!

Eddie Sensation - Denial has his eyes on Ayden Caldato again!! Denial throws him to the ropes... BACK BODY DROP! NO!

The Informer - Ayden landed on his feet! Denial turns around... Kick to the gut by Ayden! Here comes Hacker! OH!!! DOUBLE DDT ON DENIAL!

Vic Canon - Ayden turns to Hacker... SPINEBUSTER! Hacker goes down hard!!

Eddie Sensation - Ayden grabs Denial's legs... He turns him onto his stomach... INVERTED BOSTON CRAB! Hacker is up.... He bounces off the ropes... LEG DROP ON DENIAL!

The Informer - Ayden and Hacker have been somewhat working together... I wonder if there's something going on between those two!

Vic Canon - I doubt it! Cause Hacker just CHOKESLAMMED him! Denial picks up Ayden Caldato, and throws him to the ropes... Denial falls to the mat.... Ayden jumps over him... OH! POWERSLAM BY HACKER!!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT!! DENIAL ROLLS UP HACKER... 1.... 2..... NO! HE JUST GOT OUT!

The Informer - Denial and Hacker both get to their feet... Denial kicks him in the gut... IMPLANT DDT!!! IMPLANT DDT!!! He goes for the pin...

Vic Canon - 1..... 2..... No! Hacker gets his shoulder up! Denial picks up Hacker, and throws him to the corner... No! Hacker reverses it! Denial goes into the corner.... Ayden Caldato quickly goes to the corner..... TORNADO DDT!!!! He goes for the pin... 1..... 2.... No! Hacker breaks up the pin!

Eddie Sensation - Hacker grabs Ayden by the hair... LOW BLOW by Ayden Caldato!! Denial is up... He kicks Ayden in the gut... OH GOD!!! HE'S CALLING FOR A POWERBOMB TO THE OUTSIDE!!

The Informer - He lifts him... OH THERE HE GOES!!! NO!!!

Vic Canon - ADYEN LANDED ON HIS FEET!!

Eddie Sensation - Denial turns around... Hacker attempts to clothesline him over the top, but Denial ducks and puts Hacker over the top!! Hacker and Ayden are on the outisde!!

The Informer - LOOK OUT!! HERE COMES DENIAL!........ OOOH!!! SUICIDE DIVE ONTO THE OUTSIDE!!!! ALL THREE MEN ARE OUT!!!

Vic Canon - What a move by Denial!! He took a big risk by doing that!

Eddie Sensation - Denial is up! He rolls into the ring, and waits....

The Informer - He's being a little impatient, and is going back to the outside! He's got Ayden by the hair, and rolls him into the ring!!

Vic Canon - Denial gets into the ring... Ayden is on his feet! He sets up Denial.... Single Arm DDT!! Hacker is on the apron!

Eddie Sensation - WHAM! NOT ANYMORE! HAHAHA!

The Informer - Ayden Caldato just dropkicked Hacker off the apron, and he landed face first onto the guard rail!!

Vic Canon - Yeah but he's got his back to Denial! That's a bad move! Denial is moving in!!!

Eddie Sensation - He's got him hooked!

The Informer - BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX..... INTO A BRIDGE!!! HE GOES FOR THE PIN.....

Vic Canon - 1.... 2..... THREE!!!!!! NEW CHAMPION!! DENIAL IS THE NEW NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION!!!

Chris Myers - Ladies and Gentlemen... The referee has informed me that BOTH men's shoulders were pinned for a three count!!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT?!

The Informer - You're joking, right??

Chris Myers - Therefore.... This match is a Double Pin, making the EWA North American Title Vacant!

Vic Canon - OH COME ON!!!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT?!

The Informer - THAT'S BULLSHIT!! I CANT BELEIVE THIS!!

Vic Canon - Denial is pissed look at him!!

Eddie Sensation - Look at Hacker! He's going nuts!!

The Informer - And look at Ayden! He's got a smile on his face!! He's happy!! Hacker isn't the champion anymore!!

Vic Canon - Well folks, we'll leave it up to Tom Stone to decide who's the proper champ.... But right now we have to go to a commercial break! We'll be right back, don't touch that dial!!

Trent Klatt - Now, now, now... Where is my good friend Rob DiMarco? Get your ass in here!

[Rob DiMarco walks to the ring and enters...]

Rob DiMarco - I wasn't prepared to do an interview, but I guess we can wing it.

Trent Klatt - Well don't worry, you won't have to wing it, you're not giving one. And now, my official interviewer...GARY COLEMAN!

[Just then the lights go out and are replaced with purple lights. "The Diff'rent Strokes Theme Song" begins to play and out walks Gary Coleman. Gary is wearing a yellow sweater, khakis, and nice shows. On the sweater is written "Little Boy Wonder." The crowd, not sure what to do, begins to laugh at Gary as he walks down. Gary then enters the ring. As he walks to Trent, he pushes Rob DiMarco out of the way and grabs a mic.]

Gary Coleman - Hey Trent, how ya doing?

Trent Klatt - Not bad, not bad. But the reason we're here is because I have something to get off of my chest. Now, everyone is prolly thinking that this has to do with my brother Hustler or some other schmuck, but it doesn't. This has to do with none other than... Rob DiMarco!

[Rob DiMarco takes two steps back and begins to sweat. He undoes his collar.]

Rob DiMarco - Okay Trent, what's the problem.

Trent Klatt - Damn boy, listen up, who asks the questions here? Gary, proceed.

Gary Coleman - What's the problem, Trent?

Trent Klatt - Well, I was watching Denial's interview and noticed that one Rob DiMarco referred to me as having a big ego.

Gary Coleman - What's that all about Rob DiMarco?

Rob DiMarco - C'mon Trent, it was a play on words...for...for...

[Rob DiMarco tries to run out of the ring, but Gary drops his mic and tackles him. Gary throws him into the turnbuckle and then rips off his sweater revelaing a shirt which reads "Big and Black." He then starts kicking Rob DiMarco in the shins. When Rob DiMarco bends down to cover his shins, Gary hits him with a low blow to the crotch, or the Diff'rent Stroke as Gary likes to call it. The crowd is roaring at this time with laughter. Trent is sitting in the croner going nuts. After laying a beating on Rob DiMarco, Gary grabs his mic and continues.]

Gary Coleman - What you talkin' bout, Rob DiMarco? Trent doesn't have a big ego, just a huge desire for some cold brews.

Trent Klatt - Thanks Gary. Let's get out of here before the stink and stupidity of this crowd attaches itself to us.

[The crowd begins to boo vehemently as they leave. Trent walks over to Rob DiMarco, picks him up, and then K-Bombs him. Gary then kicks him. As the two are leaving, someone throws a cup and it hits Gary in the head. Gary gets ahead of himself and attacks the man, only to get his ass kicked. Trent starts laughing at him and slaps him on the back of the head as the two exit.]

Leroy - I don know. Sheeit, I figga me and dat homie jus gonna go at it Harlem stile, know whut I'm sayin?

Rachel Stevens - So that means that you dont know what to expect.....

Leroy - Some fightin'. Maybe. Maybe some cussin'. Alls I know is dat homie look awflee familya.

Rachel Stevens - Ummmm... Ok... Let's send it to Rob DiMarco who is with Mr. Johnson!

Mr. Johnson - I's gots no ideas wha dis is? But I be twainin weel hard.

Rob DiMarco - Then why the hell did you agree to the match?!

Mr. Johnson - Cause, dat Leewoy due says I stoe his gimmie? I dint steel no gimmie?

Rob DiMarco - Ok... this should be interesting... let's get the match started....

Eddie Sensation - In a �Harlem Playground Dozens Death Match!!� What the hell is that?

Vic Canon - I dunno but its a death match and I am sure it�ll be brutal!!

Chris Myers - This next match is a special Harlem Playground Dozens Death Match!!

Vic Canon - Say that three times fast.

Chris Myers - This next match is a special Harlem Playground Dozens Death Match!! First, standing 7'4" and weighing in at 475 pounds, from Gary, Indianapolis, Leroy!

["Mamma Said Knock You Out" by LL Cool J blasts through the speakers, as Sir Psycho Sexy and Leroy step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'6" and weighing in at 320 pounds, from Pontiac Street, Mr. Johnson!

["Dangerous" by Busta Rhymes blasts through the speakers, as Mr. Johnson steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - I don�t understand this folks, both men have on their regular street cloths.

Eddie Sensation - You don�t need wrestling gear at the Playground Informer!

Chris Myers - And now the special guest for this bout straight from Hollywood California, and host of the Price is Right... Booooob Baaaarker!!!

[�The Price is Right Theme� starts to play through the speakers as Bob Barker, with two of his lovely blonde model friends, steps out from behind the curtain and makes his way to he ring.]

Vic Canon - I hate the Price is Right.

Eddie Sensation - I only watched for the babes.

The Informer - Well, Mr. Barker is asking for a mic. And they are handing him his long skinny one.

Eddie Sensation - Look coming down from the rafters!!

Vic Canon - What the hell is that?

The Informer - It looks like a game show set. We see two podiums and a huge wheel in between the two.

Vic Canon - Whats that say above the wheel? Yo� Mama is....

Eddie Sensation - And written on the wheel.....So Ugly, So Fat, So Greasy, So Nasty, So Old and So Stupid. Whats going on?

The Informer - I don�t know folks but I am sure Bob Barker is gonna tell us.

Bob Barker - Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the EWA�s first ever �Harlem Playground Dozen�s Death Match.� Where the opponents face off in a battle of wits.. and the topic... Yo� Mama!!

Eddie Sensation - OH!! Is this what I think??

The Informer - I think it is.

Bob Barker - Now the rules of the match are simple; there are three rounds... at the beginning of each round the wheel is spun. When the wheel stops then whatever section it stops on that is the subject for that round.... for example if I was to spin the wheel and it was to land on... Yo Mama is so Old then I would start out with..... Yo� Mama is so old, she owes Jesus a nickel.

Eddie Sensation - AAAHAhAhAAAA!!!! Its a Yo Mama battle!! Oh yes!! I was right.

The Informer - This should be interesting.

Bob Barker - This would go back and forth with the same subject until one opponent is stumped. Any questions?

Leroy - No.

Mr. Johnson - No Sir.

Bob Barker - Okay I will spin the wheel for the first round.

[Bob spins the wheel and the audience along with everyone else watches closely as the wheel slows down.]

Eddie Sensation - I hope it lands on Yo Mama is so Ugly. Then I can make fun of Informer, cause his mama is one UGLY mama.

The Informer - Shut up Eddie.

Bob Barker - Okay folks the wheel has stopped on Yo� Mama is so fat. Now before we came out here there was a coin toss in the back and Mr. Johnson is gonna start us off, Mr. Johnson...

Mr. Johnson - Yeah?

Bob Barker - You�re first.

Mr. Johnson - Oh... okay. Yo� mama is so fat, when we played Hide-N-Seek, she hid behind a wata towa.

Vic Canon - This is gonna get ugly folks.

Eddie Sensation - Like the Informers Mama!!!

Leroy - Yeah well Yo Mama is so fat, when she ordered a �My Size Meal� from McDonalds they gave her the key to the store.

Mr. Johnson - Yo Mama is so fat, when she got lost they had to use all four sides of da milk carton.

Leroy - Well, yo mama is so fat, they had to put her picture on da milk truck!

Mr. Johnson - Yo Mama is so fat when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease the doctor gave her five years to live.

Leroy - Yo Mama is so fat she can sell shade.

Mr. Johnson - Yo Mama is so fat her cereal bowl game with a life guard.

The Informer - How much longer can this go on?

Vic Canon - I don�t know if I can take much more of this!!!

Eddie Sensation - This is great I wish they would slow down I can only write so fast!!!

Leroy - Yo mama is so fat, when your daddy mounts her his ears pop.

Mr. Johnson - Yo Mama is so fat when I mounted her I burnt my ass on the lightbulb.

Leroy - Yo Mama is so fat she wakes up in sections!!

Mr. Johnson - Yo mama is so fat... she uhhhh... she uhh....

Bob Barker - Three seconds Mr. Johnson.

Mr. Johnson - Yo mama is so fat..... she�s fat.

Bob Barker - We are gonna have to ask the judges on that one.

The Informer - Judges who are the judges?

Eddie Sensation - He�s looking over at us? We must be the judges.

Vic Canon - Good lord!!

The Informer - I say... NO.

Eddie Sensation - Yes.

Vic Canon - No.

Bob Barker - The winner of Round One, Leroy!! Leroy you get to spin the wheel for Round Two.

[Leroy spins the wheel...]

The Informer - Round and round she goes....

Eddie Sensation - Look it stopped on your mama is so....

Vic Canon - STUPID!! Your mama is so STUPID!!

Eddie Sensation - Watch it Vic!

Vic Canon - I was just.....

Bob Barker - Okay the subject for this round is Yo Mama is so Stupid. Leroy you won the last round so you start off.

Leroy - Otay, yo mama is so stoopid dat she put a scwatch-n-sniff sticka on da bottom o� da poo� and drownded.

Mr. Johnson - Yo mama is so stupid she bwoke her neck at a flashing wed light.

Eddie Sensation - Ahahahaaa..... I have got to write that down.

Leroy - Yo mama is so stupid she jumped off a building to commit suicide and got los� on da way down.

Mr. Johnson - Oh yeah yo mama is so stupid she tried to put M&M�s in order.

Leroy - Yo mama got fired from da M&M factowy fo� throwin away da W�s.

Mr. Johnson - Yo mama is so stupid da first time she used a dildo she cwacked her fron� teef.

Leroy - Yo mama is so stupid she saw a sign that said Airprt Left so she turned aroun� and went home.

Mr. Johnson - Yo mama is so stupid she study for a blood test and failed.

The Informer - That happened to me once.

Eddie Sensation - Huh!?

The Informer - Never.. er.. nevermind.

Leroy - Yo mama is so stupid she went to Dr. Dre for a pap smear.

Mr. Johnson - Yo mama is so stupid she dialed �0� and asked for the number to �911.�

Leroy - Uhh.. yo mama is.... hell I don�t know.

Eddie Sensation - Oh thats the end of round two.

Bob Barker - And the winner of round two.... Mr. Johnson!!! He has one the right to spin the wheel for round three.

[Mr. Johnson spins the wheel...]

Bob Barker - And the subject for the final round.... Yo Mama is so.... UGLY!!!

Eddie Sensation - Yes!! Finally and now I can make fun of Informers mama!!!

The Informer - Would you shut up!!

Bob Barker - Mr. Johnson, your lead.

Eddie Sensation - What are we playing Euchre now!!??

Mr. Johnson - Yo mama is so ugly they filmed �Guerillas in the Midst� in her shower.

Eddie Sensation - I think that he�s talkin about your mama Informer.

Leroy - Yeah but yo mama is so ugly her birth certificate was a letter of apology from the condom factory.

The Informer - Now that.. that was funny.

Mr. Johnson - Yo mama is so ugly her shadow quit.

Leroy - Yo mama is so ugly she looks like she got hit wit a bag of �what da fuck!?�

Mr. Johnson - Yo mama is so ugly she put a porkchop bone around her neck and the dog still wouldn�t play with her.

Leroy - Yo mama is so ugly people go as her for Halloween.

Mr. Johnson - Yo mama is so ugly I can fuck her in any position and its still doggy style.

Leroy - Yo mama is so ugly she could be the poster child for abortion.

Mr. Johnson - Yo mama is so ugly she has to trick or treat over the phone.

Eddie Sensation - I bet this really brings back memories don�t it Informer?

The Informer - What are talking about Eddie?

Eddie Sensation - When your mama took you trick or treating you had to carry a cell phone!!!

The Informer - Eddie.. please.

Vic Canon - Eddie... yo mama is so ugly her boomerrand never came back.

Eddie Sensation - Thats good I will have to write that down.

Leroy - yo mama is so ugly the doctor slapped da wong end when she was born.

Mr. Johnson - Yo mama is so ugly the doctor slapped yo gramma.

Leroy - YO MAMA!! Bitch!

Bob Barker - Sorry Leroy that won�t work as a snap. The winner of the EWA first ever Harlem Playground Dozens Death Match..... Miiiiiiisteeeer Jooooohnsooooon.

Eddie Sensation - That was the greatest match in EWA history. I got enough Yo Mama snaps to make fun of Informer for years!!!

Vic Canon - Only in the EWA.

Bob Barker - Ladies and gentlemen......

Mr. Johnson & Leroy - SHUT UP BOB!!!

Bob Barker - YO MAMA... BITCHES!!

Mr. Johnson - Oh.. you see Bob da pwice is wong.

The Informer - OH NO!!! Bob is getting pummeled.

Eddie Sensation - Look Leroy is joining in too. Leroy whips Bob into the corner...

Vic Canon - Oh here comes LJ with the Big Johnson Splash!!

The Informer - LJ is holding him there.. OH MY LORD!!!

Eddie Sensation - Leroy just landed a Double Big Johnson Splash!!!

The Informer - Whats this!!?? LJ is setting Bob up for something... NIGHTRAIN NIGHTRAIN!!!

Vic Canon - WOW!! I didn�t know a man of his size could jump like that.

Eddie Sensation - They aren�t done... Leroy tosses him into the ropes.... MOVING TARGET!!

Vic Canon - That has to hurt. Now what are they doing??

The Informer - Leroy and Mr. Johnson are looking at Bobs feet?

Eddie Sensation - I think they like his Guccies!! They are both at his feet... they�re smiling.

Vic Canon - OWE!! MY EYES!! What is that golden glow throughout the arena??

The Informer - I think its the arena lights glaring off their gold teeth. They got his shoes. They are leaving..... together?

Eddie Sensation - That has to be the funniest shit that I have ever witnessed.... what a piss!!

[The very popular woman who has been walking around the EWA for the last few weeks is seen walking down the ramp. She has a mic in her hand....]

Woman - You've all seen me around in the last few weeks... And I know that all of you are wondering... Wondering who the hell I am, and why I'm here! Well, tonight I come to you to provide you with the information that you want to know!

Eddie Sensation - All I want to know is your number!!

Woman - I've been employed by the EWA for several months. I've been watching and waiting for the RIGHT guy for me to give my services to... But, the problem is, I haven't really seen anyone I like. So, I'm sending an open invitation to ANYONE who thinks that they are MAN enough and GOOD enough for me!

Eddie Sensation - Ohhh..... I'll be more then GOOD for you!!

The Informer - Calm down Eddie!!

Woman - Come on guys! Don't be shy!!

[Suddenly, Hacker comes out and stands at the top of the ramp. As he is about to speak, Leroy comes out and stands on the opposite side of the stage. He begins to speak...]

Leroy - Woman! I be more den good fo' you!! I be take you to da top!!

Woman - You know Leroy... You're a cute guy and all, but I don't think that you're the one....

Hacker - Damn right he isn't! The Big Hack Daddy is here for you, and will rock your world!!

Woman - Hack.... You were a good contender for my services until you lost tonight... If it wasn't for that loss, you'd be the man! But, you failed... So get out of my face!

The Informer - OOH!!! SHE TOLD HIM!!!

Vic Canon - Hahaha! I kinda like her!!

Eddie Sensation - Be right back guys!

The Informer - EDDIE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!

Vic Canon - DON'T HUMILIATE YOURSELF!!

Eddie Sensation - Listen here, baby! All these muscle heads are too rough for you... Like you said, you've been waiting but you haven't seen anything you like yet... You know why?? Because I'm sitting at that announce table, and NEVER am I on TV!! I know you're all shocked and extremly happy that I came forward, so, try and gather your words and accept my offer!!

The Informer - Oh god....

Vic Canon - I can't watch...

Woman - You're not serious are you??

[Eddie nods, and the woman bursts out in laughter!]

Eddie Sensation - What's so funny??

Woman - I'd choose the Informer before I'd choose you!! You're pathetic!!

The Informer - Ladies and Gentlemen... Eddie Sensation has just been humiliated...

Vic Canon - Check his pants, they might be wet!

The Informer - Careful what you say when he comes back... He's gonna be pissed!!

Vic Canon - Hahaha.... Let's have some fun!

[Eddie Sensation takes his seat.]

The Informer - So, Eddie...... What's up?

Eddie Sensation - Lets get on with the show...

Vic Canon - So, Eddie, how does it feel to be--

The Informer - SHUT UP!.... Like he was saying... Let's get on with the show!

["Walk" by Pantera blasts through the speakers, but The Hustler is nowhere to be seen...]

The Informer - W... W.... WAIT A MINUTE! SOMETHING IS GOING ON BACKSTAGE!! GET A CAMERA BACK THERE!!!

[The EWA Big Screen suddenly shows The Hustler, on the floor out cold with a pool of blood around his head.]

Vic Canon - OH MY GOD!! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HIM?!?!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK!! IT'S ELYPISUM!!! AND HE'S GOT A WRENCH IN HIS HAND!!

Elypsium - Hahahaha.... NEXT WEEK!....See you in the Parking Lot...

The Informer - WHAT A PSYCHOTIC SON OF A BITCH!! HE JUST KNOCKED OUT THE HUSTLER!!!

[We can see The Hustler being rolled off on a stretcher, and loaded into an ambulance.]

Vic Canon - So what does this mean?! Do we still have a match??

Eddie Sensation - Are you THAT slow?! HELL NO YOU IDIOT!! WHO'S GOING TO WRESTLE ELYPSIUM?!?! THE HUSTLER'S GHOST?!

The Informer - Vic... I didn't think you were THAT slow...

Vic Canon - Shut up... both of you..... Fucking assholes.....

Eddie Sensation - Hahahaha!!

The Informer - Well folks... Earlier today a camera man followed Tom Stone and Divine to the arena. We've got a video clip of this, so enjoy!

Limo Driver - It's them Mr. Stone!!! Should I call security?!?

Tom Stone - Get a hold of yourself bitch, these are my new associates, my business partners. They're with me. They are the next breed of EWA Business men. Someday..... you guys might be as great as I am.......

Tito - We can never be as great as you Mr. Stone! I am filthy Mexican and Divine is lazy American! You are a great Candian! We cant compete with that!

Tom Stone - Yes, I know...... Goodpoint Tito..... But you can always try!!

Divine - You kiss ass....

Tom Stone - Is there a problem Divine?!?

Divine - No Mr. Stone....

Tom Stone - Good.....THEN SHUT UP!!! Now you guys want to be straight? You want to be like me? You have to do exactly what I do and follow my lead! You dont just become a Tom Stone overnight! This is going to take a lot of work.....

[At that moment Divine begins to lick his lips and Stone smacks him in the mouth.]

Tom Stone - This is going to take "a lot" of work.....Lets go.......

[The three men begin to walk into the arena. Tom Stone quickly stops when he notices that Divine is walking like a woman and Tito is picking the underwear from his ass crack. Stone quickly grabs the two of them and starts to shout.]

Tom Stone - No, no, no!!! Not like that!!! You're walking like a damn broad, and you........YOU'RE PICKING YOUR ASS CRACK!!! Walk like this.....

[Tom Stone begins to walk and does his usual cool swagger. Divine and Tito watch then begin to walk exactly like Stone.]

Tom Stone - See!! It's not that hard!! You guys will be smooth as a baby's ass by the end of the week.

Divine - Ass......

Tom Stone - DIVINE!!!!

Divine - Sorry sir....

Tom Stone - Lets go gentlemen..... We have a lot of business to get done tonight.....

[The three men enter the arena and the camera fades.]

"The Seat Seller" Thurston Howell - What the f*ck are you talking about you little jackass. You sit here asking your silly little questions well now you have gone over the line son. That is the most ridiculous remark I have ever heard come out of your mouth you midget. You should be down on your knees when you interview us you unworthy son of a bitch!!! We are more worthy then any other team here in the EWA, because we have beaten every tag team that has came in our way, I even man handled the Impact Players alone, damnit!!!

Granite - DiMarco, you little fake Italian. You have to be the stupidest man in the wrestling bussiness. You say, we, the Second Coming don't deserve what we are gonna get, we're just gonna prove to you we deserve it after we kick the Baaalim's ass, but we might give you a little ass kicking first!!!

Rob DiMarco - Geeze! Calm down!! Next week there is a Tag Team Battle Royal, and the participants have yet to be announced! Are you guys in this match??

"The Seat Seller" Thurston Howell - Well DiMarco, we do know about the Tag Team Battle Royal next week on Heat. And yes we do know if we will be in it or not. But Robby boy, since you are too moronic for your own good, we aren't gonna tell you and we will keep this, the Second Coming little secret. But since you now know that the Second Coming will win the tag title, I have one question for you, if we are the tag champs, why would we fight in a battle royal?? Now Granite lets finish this thing off in style.

The Second Coming - We make the money, we make the rules, and we made YOU!!!!

Rob DiMarco - ....Now lets send it to Rachel Stevens!

Fallen Angel - I think that Howell and Granite make a pretty good tag-team. I think that Howell is an excellent wrestler, with alot of experience beneath his belt, and ever since he dropped that loser Chris Brown, he's been going uphill. As for Granite, I don't know anything about this guy. To me he seems like a young gun out to make a name for himself, and sadly, it's not going to happen. If The Second Coming do actually beat us, which I doubt, then it'll be Thurston Howell that'll take them there. But let me tell you something... The Second Coming will not defeat me and my so-called partner tonight. That's a promise.

Rachel Stevens - Your so-called partner. Yes, ever since Extreme And Uncensore, you and Havoc have been falling apart. The fans have seen it. The other wrestlers have seen it, and I think that even the higher powers are beginning to feel that The Baalim might not be around for much longer?

Fallen Angel - As you can see, Havoc isn't standing beside me right now. He's probably off somewhere with The Chronicler, performing ritualistic sexual rites to their "dark god". Let me tell you, Miss Stevens... Since the PPV, where Sir Psycho Sexy was unmasked, my eyes have opened a little wider. There is no Baal, and soon enough, there will be no Havoc. As long as he does his job, climbs into the ring, and helps me retain my tag-team championship belt, I'll be happy. But that son-of-a-bitch is far too shallow to sit well with me.

Rachel Stevens - I see... It has been announced that at 3D Warfare, you guys will be taking on Extreme Velocity!! What are you thoughts on your opponents?

Fallen Angel - Extreme Velocity. Extreme Velocity. Well, I hate these sons-of-bitches. When we took the tag-team belts from the Kress brothers, they took 'em from us, and that doesn't exactly glorify them in my books. If we face them, we'll beat them, if we don't, we'll find them, face them, and beat them, and it's as simple as that.

Rachel Stevens - Next week there will be a Tag Team Battle Royal to determine #1 Contenders for your Tag Team Titles. The winners will get a shot on January 25th, after the Pay Per View! Will you be watching this match closely??

Fallen Angel - No. I don't care who it is that'll challenge us for the titles. And they will be challenging us. Nobody's gonna take the titles from us before the PPV, and nobody is gonna take the titles from us AT the PPV. And before we go, let me tell you something, Havoc. I don't ask much of you at the moment. I just want you to step into the ring, and do your job. I can handle wrestling with you, but at the moment, I am your worst enemy. That's all Rachel.

Rachel Stevens - Now lets send it to the ring!

["Faith" by Limp Bizkit blasts through the speakers, as The Second Coming step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And their opponents... at a total combined weighing of 505 pounds, from Parts Unknown, Fallen Angel and Havoc, they are the EWA Tag Team Champions, The Baalim!

["Spit It Out" by Slipknot blasts through the speakers, as the EWA Tag Team Champions, The Baalim step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - And the bell sounds! Fallen Angel will be starting this one off against Granite!

Vic Canon - They lock up.... Fallen Angel with a hip toss!! He bounces off the ropes... Granite gets up... Clothesline by Fallen Angel!!!

Eddie Sensation - Fallen Angel lifts him to his feet..... DDT!! OUCH!!

The Informer - Fallen Angel is going to the top rope!! Granite is getting to his feet... Fallen Angel jumps... OH!! HURRACONRANA OFF THE TOP INTO A PIN!!! 1..... 2..... OH! JUST OUT!

Vic Canon - Fallen Angel picks up Grainte... OH!! HE NAILED IT!!! FALLEN ANGEL JUST NAILED THE FALLEN DRIVER!! HE GOES FOR THE COVER... 1..... 2....

Eddie Sensation - No! Thurston Howell breaks up the count!!

The Informer - Fallen Angel just kicked Granite in the ribs! He's going towards Havoc!

Vic Canon - Oh no! The Tag Team Champions are in an arguement!

Eddie Sensation - Fallen Angel is pissed that Havoc didn't come in to get rid of Howell! They would have had the match won!!

The Informer - LOOK OUT!!

Vic Canon - GRANITE ROLLS HIM UP.... 1.... 2.... NO!!!

Eddie Sensation - Phew! That was a close one!!

The Informer - LOOK OUT!!! HERE COMES EXTREME VELOCITY!!!

Vic Canon - THEY'RE IN THE RING, AND THEY'VE GOT BASEBALL BATS!

Eddie Sensation - GRANITE GETS SLUGGED IN THE BACK!! HOWELL GETS CLOTHESLINED OVER THE TOP!!

The Informer - EXTREME VELOCITY ARE STANDING FACE TO FACE, NOSE TO NOSE WITH THE BAALIM!!!

Vic Canon - THESE TWO ARE GOING TO GO AT IT ON JANUARY 16TH!!!

Eddie Sensation - KNEE TO THE GROIN BY DREYBORN!! JUSTIN SANE HITS FALLEN ANGEL IN THE RIBS WITH THE BAT!! EXTREME VELOCITY ARE BEATING THE HELL OUT OF THEM!!!

The Informer - ...........OH!!! ARMAGEDDON ON HAVOC!!!

Vic Canon - .........AAAAAAAAAAAAAND ANOTHER ONE ON FALLEN ANGEL!!!

Eddie Sensation - AND YOU THOUGHT THESE GUYS WERE ALL TALK!!!

The Informer - Oh shut up Eddie!

Vic Canon - Extreme Velocity are proving to be the dominating Tag Team in the EWA!!

Eddie Sensation - Damn right they are!!

The Informer - They've got a shot at the gold next Sunday on Pay Per View!

Vic Canon - But right now, we've got to take a break! Don't go anywhere!

["Living Dead Girl" by Rob Zombie blasts through the speakers, as The Wildman steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'7" and weighing in at 236 pounds, from Miami, Florida, the EWA International Champion, "Crystal Clear" Cody Covington!

["Lithium" by Nirvana blasts through the speakers, as the EWA International Champion, "Crystal Clear" Cody Covington steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - Covington quickly attacks The Wildman!

Vic Canon - OH! Spinning Heel Kick to the jaw!!!

Eddie Sensation - Covington looks PISSED!

The Informer - He was scheduled for an interview before his match, but I don't know what happened to that!

Vic Canon - Eh... Stone probably fucked it up....

Eddie Sensation - Yeah....

The Informer - Covington grabs The Wildman by the legs... and applies a Boston Crab!!

Vic Canon - Look at the Wildman's face! He's screaming in pain! I don't know if he can take much more of this!!

Eddie Sensation - He's inching towards the ropes! He's almost there!!

The Informer - No! Covington pulls him back into the middle of the ring!! He's going to tap!!

Vic Canon - NO!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAHAHAH!! SMART GUY!!!

The Informer - The Wildman just threw the referee into Covington, and that made him release the hold!!

Vic Canon - If that happens in the main event, I'm sure Duece will do something about it!!

Eddie Sensation - Damn right! I can't wait for that one!

The Informer - Covington lifts The Wildman to his feet..... Pump Handle Slam!! He goes for the pin.... But the ref is out!!!

Vic Canon - Covington lifts him back to his feet.... OH!! HARD KNEE TO THE GROIN OF THE WILDMAN!

Eddie Sensation - Covington bounces off the ropes.... ROCKER DROPPER!!!

The Informer - He goes for the pin... But AGAIN no referee!!

Vic Canon - Covington is getting frustrated! He throws The Wildman to the ropes... GORILLA PRESS SLAM!!!

Eddie Sensation - But the ref is still out!!!

The Informer - Thats it! Covington has signalled for "Clearly Crippling"!! Can he hit it?!

Vic Canon - He lifts him.... YES!!! CLEARLY CRIPPLING!! He goes for the pin... 1.... 2..... 3!!!

Chris Myers - And the winner of this match... The EWA International Champion, "Crystal Clear" Cody Covington!!!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT!!

The Informer - THERE'S ANTRIM!!! ANTRIM HAS ATTACKED COVINGTON FROM BEHIND!!!

Vic Canon - ANTRIM IS ASSAULTING CODY COVINGTON WITH A STEEL CHAIR!! GET SOME HELP OUT HERE!!

Eddie Sensation - He's relentless! I love it!!!

The Informer - You make me sick Eddie!! How can you enjoy seeing another man suffer?!

Eddie Sensation - I just do, man!

Vic Canon - FINALLY, Antrim has been pulled off of Covington!

The Informer - Yeah, but he's in a bad, bad way!!!

Vic Canon - Folks, we'll be right back!

Rachel Stevens - Ladies and Gentlemen, making their much anticipated, and much talked about return to the EWA after their suspension the former EWA Tag Team Champions of the World, the one, the only...... THE Bj BOYZ!!!!!!!

[The lights in the arena begin to dim as "Walk This Way" by Aerosmith begins to play over the PA system. The fans get on their feet and begin to boo and throw garbage at the ring. The EWA Big Screen lights up and the screen goes to staticy snow. The scene then opens to the Bj BOYZ holding up the Tag Team titles of another promotion and the date in the corner is the same as the event "Extreme and Uncensored 99'" It then cuts to the EWA PPV, it takes you back to where Tom Stone made the announcement of Da Bj BOYZ two week suspension. Then it shows the recent happenings with HY2k and the Guilty Party. The name "Bj BOYZ" explodes upon the screen as pyro begins to shoot off from all corners of the arena. Pyro bombs explode on the entrance way, and from all four turnbuckle posts. The fans are begin to get uneasy as the Bj BOYZ still have not made their way to the ring. The fans are beginning to think that the Bj BOYZ have no-showed and start to chant "FAGGOTS." Rachel Stevens is looking around and asking the ring attendants what to do. Suddenly the EWA big screen begins to get raised into the air as if to make way for something large. Out of nowhere a large vehicle begins to head down the aisle. It looks to be the same kind of vehicle the Pope rides in, and the Bj BOYZ are inside of it!!! The Bj BOYZ are riding down to the ring in the Pope Mobile while the fans begin to boo even more and start to throw things at the large Pope Mobile. Adam and Brian Kress are waving to the fans from the see through glass with huge smiles on their faces. This only makes the fans more angry and they fire even more garbage at the see through, thick plastic windows. Once they reach the ring Adam and Brian get out and enter the ring. Brian stands in the center of the ring and starts to talk to Rachel Stevens while Adam runs up the nearest turnbuckle to taunt the fans that are booing him so ferociously. Adam hops down off the middle rope and meets his brother in the center of the ring. Adam and Brian pose for the capacity crowd as their trademark blue and silver pyro rains down from the ceiling. Suddenly Brian Kress points to the large banners that say "EWA Tuesday Night HEAT." After a few seconds loud explosions rock the building to its very foundation and the HEAT banners are replaced with even bigger Bj BOYZ banners!! On the new banners are pictures of Adam and Brian Kress posing with HY2k shirts on. Adam then pulls out a cellphone and start to speak with someone. After a few moments four waiters starts to walk to the ring pushing a large Birthday cake that says "Welcome Back Kress Brothers" The waiters walk around the ring hanging banners that say "Welcome back Bj BOYZ" and "HY2k RULZ." Adam and Brian are both wearing HY2k shirts and black jeans. Adam has on a black Bj BOYZ hat that he takes off and puts on Rachel Stevens head then puts his arm around her and says something just as the music stops.]

Adam Kress - Lets do this interview baby.

Rachel Stevens - Umm.... you can take your hand off me now you sick little freak.....

[Rachel Stevens pushes Adam Kress's hand off her and hands him his hat back while Brian Kress laughs at his brother. Rachel Stevens then starts to speak.]

Rachel Stevens - I'd like to say welcome back to the EWA...... But it looks like you guys have already done that..... and I think you could say you "over did it."

Brian Kress - What do you mean we over did it?? We've been gone for so long and we didnt want our legions of adoring fans to forget about us!! After all, the "Hitler Wanna-be" Tom Stone, banned us from EWA Television and all events just because we no-showed a little Pay-Per-View!! Tom Stone, you and your Gestapo cant keep us from spreading the word of "The Kress Express" and as long as there are breath in these massive, muscular, sexy lungs, I will speak out against Tom Stone!! And as far as our entrance goes......Tom Stone needed to pull out all the stops for us!! In fact, I think this whole, entire night of Tuesday Night HEAT should be re-titled "A TRIBUTE TO THE Bj BOYZ" and you can scrap all of the matches and just show classic Bj BOYZ footage!! After all, we are his entire tag team division and the top stars of the EWA, not to mention the sole members of HY2k.

Rachel Stevens - But do you really think that all of this was necessary?? The Pope Mobile??? After all you've only been gone for about two weeks!!

Adam Kress - Pope Mobile??? That's the Bj BUGGY!!! We have to ride in that!!! It's the only way we can get protection from the millions of Bj BOYZ fans who want to get a hold of the hottest two men in wrestling today!!! And the Bj BOYZ have been gone for what seems like an eternity to our fans.....two weeks is a very long time when you are addicted to The Kress Express.......two weeks can seem like two years when the Bj BOYZ are gone!! I know the EWA must've really been boring without the Super Kress Brothers around, and I know the EWA tag team division must be practically DEAD without the Kress Express holding those belts!!! And speaking of the tag team titles....."our" titles, I really, honestly cant believe that Tom Stone would strip us of the tag team titles for not showing up at that mess of a Pay-Per-View!! I actually don't even remember the name of it!!! But the name isn't important, what is important is the fact that the Bj BOYZ weren't there. Now I could see if we were fined.....even suspended....but stripped of our coveted tag team titles?!?!? That's insane!!! It wasn't like us being there would've really meant anything, I mean, I we would've done was kick the shit out of the Seventh Layer for like the one-billionth time!!! It's not much fun after you do it about a hundred times, after that it's kind of old. Those guys really don't deserve the tag team titles, and I'd like to say that there is another team other than the Bj BOYZ that deserve those belts, but I just cant bring myself to it because I think I might throw up and ruin this whole interview!!! There isn't one damn team in this whole God forsaken federation that can say they are better than us!!!

Rachel Stevens - So you don't think the Seventh Layer are deserving champions??

Brian Kress - How the hell can they be deserving champs when they didn't even beat us for the belts??? They couldn't beat us on our worst day. I think the Seventh Layer owes Tom Stone a lot of thanks, because if we would have had to face them again we wouldn't have just beat them, we wouldn't have just ended their careers.....we would have taken their very lives in that ring. The Bj BOYZ love a challenge, and that night we had a real challenge. We had to face the Regulators, and we came out on top in what was probably the greatest tag team match in the history of wrestling. And this isn't a knock on the Regulators, but on that night there was really only one Bj BOY working because my brother was going through a lot of personal problems and his head really wasn't in that match......

Adam Kress - What he's trying to say is that he carried that match!!! So think of it like this.....if one Bj BOY beat the Regulators, the so called "Greatest Tag Team Ever" imagine what both Bj BOYZ would do!!!

Rachel Stevens - So are you saying the Bj BOYZ are at the top of their game right now??

Brian Kress - Hell Yeah. Right now the Bj BOYZ are better than ever!!! We are focused and determined to get those tag team titles back around our waists and there isn't a damn thing that can stop us!!! Those belts belong to us and the nothing will stand in our way. Sooner or later, whoever the champs are, are gonna have to put up, shut up, and face the best tag team in the world today.....The Bj BOYZ...

Rachel Stevens - But what about the singles career of Adam Kress that was brought to a brutal halt after he was inside that steel cage when it caught on fire a few months ago??

Adam Kress - I guess I should answer this question....... I wasn't the one who decided to go for a singles run, that was all Tom Stone. He started booking me in singles matches and I started to excel, but the physical toll it took on my body just wasn't worth it. In the span of two months I had my head busted open twice, I was thrown from the ring through an announcers table, and was damn near burned alive by a steel cage that was lit on fire. Singles might be something that I pursue sometime down the road but like my brother said, there is only one thing on both our mind right now.... and those are the EWA Tag Team Titles!!! After that cage was caught on fire, my mind wasn't in the right spot for a while and I have to give it to my brother for carrying the team during that time. But the way the Bj BOYZ lost the tag team titles is a damn disgrace, and when you disgrace the Bj BOYZ you better be ready for some payback!!! There is no way that we are going to let our EWA legacy end with us being striped of the tag team titles.....and we couldn't just let the Seventh Layer and all these other crappy teams stink up the EWA tag team division, after all, what would the EWA be without the Super Kress Brothers???

Rachel Stevens - And I noticed that you two are both sporting some HY2K shirts, does this mean that HY2k still exists???

Brian Kress - Of course it still exists!!! Do you think just because it's me and my brother that HY2k is going to die??? Hostile Youth 2k is bigger than anyone, including the Bj BOYZ, and it doesn't really matter who is in HY2K......well actually it does matter, because if losers like the Seventh Layer or Dino Delsante were in HY2k it probably would suck.....but as long as the Super Kress Brothers have something to say about it HY2k will be around for a long, long time!!! It's not like it would be hard to find a replacement, after all HY2k is the hottest young stable around, and people are practically banging down our door to get in!!! Everyone is dying to be a member of HY2k. The Super Kress Brothers always have something up their sleeves, and believe me, don't be surprised if you hear that there are other members of HY2k who haven't shown their true colors yet.......

Rachel Stevens - But what about Zed?? There are rumors that Zed's days in EWA are numbered and that he's quit Hostile Youth 2000.

Brian Kress - First of all, you don't quit HY2k, once you're in HY2k, you're in for....... whoa!! I cant believe I was about to say that....

Adam Kress - What my big bro is trying to say is that we don't give a flying f*ck what Zed is doing. That pussified bitch was dragging us down from the moment we let him in HY2k. If it wasn't for us watching his back his EWA title reign would've ended a long time ago. When people saw Zed hanging around with us they all thought Zed was cool, but he was, and still is to this very day a big dumb dork!! In fact, I bet that Zed wished some of our coolness would rub off on him, but as you can see by his dumb decision to quit HY2K that the coolness didn't wear off on him. One of the many, many factors that make the Bj BOYZ so unbeatable is the fact that either one of us could win any singles title in this place on any given night, and with that fact alone we dominate the tag team division!!! And when you add in, killer good looks, great bodies, unbelievable talent and the fact that we have big dicks, there isn't a better team on this planet!!!

Brian Kress - Ha ha ha, yeah, and another thing about Zed.....if his days are "numbered" in the EWA, I say Tom Stone make his entrance music that Beck song.....what's it called....damn....I had it a second ago....

Adam Kress - LOSER!!!!

Brian Kress - Yeah that's it!!! And I guess we should wish our good buddy Zed good luck in his match tonight against Dino Delsante with Deuce as the guest referee......we could've watched his back, but ya know what.....I hope Deuce and Dino beat the shit out of that queer. Maybe they'll knock some sense into his loser, pre-maddona ass....

Adam Kress - Too bad we didn't have our gear or else we could jump his ass tonight....... maybe if we're not busy we could pay a little visit to the ring and get a good look at the ass kicking that punk Zed is gonna get.........

Rachel Stevens - Did you just threaten to attack Zed during his match with "The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante???

Adam Kress - I didn't hear that?? Did you hear that Brian??

Brian Kress - No, all I heard was you saying something about how Dino is going to beat Zed's ass.

Adam Kress - Dino's a big boy, he can handle himself against a little woman like Zed....

Rachel Stevens - But what did you mean when you sa....

Brian Kress - This interview is over........

["Walk this way" by Aerosmith starts to play as Brian and Adam start to taunt the fans. Rachel Stevens watches the Bj BOYZ with disgust as they make obscene hand gestures to the crowd and taunt the fans by calling them fowl names and swearing at them. Suddenly Adam spots Rachel giving them dirty looks and points this out to his brother. Adam whispers something to Brian then walks over to Rachel and says something while Brian sneaks up behind her. When Rachel is looking Brian grabs her and carries her outside the ring. Adam then points at the huge Bj BOYZ cake. Brian laughs and tosses Rachel Stevens into the enormous cake. Rachel Stevens screams while Adam and Brian high five each other and laugh. Adam takes his index finger and takes some of the cake off of Rachel's head and tastes it then smiles. The Bj BOYZ get back into their giant "Pope Mobile" like vehicle and exit the same way they came in. As the "Bj BUGGY" goes back under the curtain Rachel Stevens is helped up by a few ring attendants.]

["I, Zombie" by White Zombie blasts through the speakers, as Deuce steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - First... standing 6'3" and weighing in at 235 pounds, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, accompanied to the ring by Tracey Lane, "The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante!

["Back In Black" by AC/DC blasts through the speakers, as Tracey Lane and "The Cornerstone" Dino Delsante step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'5" and weighing in at 270 pounds, from Chicago, Illinois, the EWA Heavyweight Champion, Zed!

["The Unforgiven" by Metallica blasts through the speakers, as the EWA Heavyweight Champion, Zed steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - Something tells me that this won't be much of a match!

Vic Canon - More like a WAR!

Eddie Sensation - Hahaha, yeah!

The Informer - There they go! Zed and Dino are exchanging fists!!

Vic Canon - Deuce is there to break it up!! UH OH!! Zed shoved Deuce!! Deuce CLOTHESLINE'S ZED! He goes down! Dino goes for the pin.... 1.. 2... NO!! Deuce with the fast count, but Zed made it out!!

Eddie Sensation - Dino grabs Zed.... BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!

The Informer - Into a pin!! 1... 2... No! Zed gets out again!

Vic Canon - OH! LOW BLOW BY ZED!

Eddie Sensation - He throws Dino to the ropes.... Drop Kick!

The Informer - Zed runs to the corner... Dino is up... OH! MOONSAULT FROM THE SECOND ROPE!! He nailed Dino!

Vic Canon - Zed goes for the pin... 1... 2... OH! ANOTHER FAST COUNT by Deuce! Does he want this thing to be over with as soon as possible, or what?!

Eddie Sensation - I think so... He probably thinks that he is the one in the corner right now! There are two guys in the ring that HATE him!

The Informer - Zed picks up Dino Delsante..... BRAINBUSTER!

Vic Canon - Nicely done! Zed walks over to the corner... He's waiting for Dino to get up!

Eddie Sensation - He better get ready! Dino's on his knees!

The Informer - Dino is up! Zed charges at him with a clothesline attempt... No! Dino ducks!! OH!! SPEAR BY DINO!! SPEAR BY DINO!!!

Vic Canon - Zed gets up... Dino swings with a clothesline! Zed ducks, and kicks Dino in the gut.... OH NO!! HE'S SETTING HIM UP FOR THE UNFORGIVEN!!

Eddie Sensation - HE'S UP ON ZED'S SHOULDERS!!! WAIT A MINUTE!!

The Informer - DEUCE JUST PULLED DINO'S LEG, AND DINO SLID OFF ZED'S BACK!!!

Vic Canon - Zed turns around.... OH GOD!! HE NAILED IT!! IRON CITY DROP!!! IRON CITY DROP!!!!

Eddie Sensation - BUT DEUCE WON'T COUNT THE PIN!! DEUCE ISN'T COUNTING!!! DINO DELSANTE HAS THE MATCH WON!! I CANT BELEIVE THIS!!!

The Informer - DINO AND DEUCE ARE ARGUEING IN THE CORNER!!! ZED IS UP!!! DINO TURNS AROUND.... KICK TO THE GUT..........

Vic Canon - UNFORGIVEN!!! UNFORGIVEN!!! ZED GOES FOR THE COVER....... BUT DEUCE ISN'T COUNTING! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!! THIS IS ABSOLUTE HORSE SHIT!!!

Eddie Sensation - AHAHHAHAHAH! CALM DOWN VIC!!!

The Informer - Deuce rolls to the outside... He's got a chair! He's got a steel chair!!! He slides in the ring... AND SWINGS AT ZED!!! ZED DUCKS... OH! DEUCE JUST NAILED DINO WITH THE CHAIR!! DEUCE TURNS AROUND...... OH! AND LAYS OUT ZED WITH THE CHAIR!! DEUCE HAS LAID OUT BOTH MEN!!!

Vic Canon - NOW LOOK! HE'S GOING FOR A DOUBLE PIN! DEUCE IS PINNING ZED AND DINO!! HE'S COUNTING IT HIMSELF!! 1... 2.... 3!!!! THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE MOCHERY OF ZED AND DINO!! THEY WON'T BE HAPPY ABOUT THIS!!!

Eddie Sensation - DAMN RIGHT THEY WONT!! I CAN'T WAIT TILL NEXT WEEK!!

The Informer - WE'RE OUT OF TIME FOLKS!! THANKS FOR JOINING US, AND SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!!

Thorn - Well... fans, friends, everybody... it's time to hang up the old boots. Personally, I didn't think this day would come for a long, long time, but the other day it hit me, what the hell am I doing wrestling still? I have no reason to be here, I'm not like I used to be. After the EWA closed down, I came back and I was a complete mockery of my old self. Wait... before I get into all this stuff, let me explain why I'm leaving. It's not that Zed left, it's not that the EWA is based on angles only, it's not that me and Tom Stone had a little arguement, it's not anything or anybody but... myself. I look back at the way I was, and I look at the way I am now, and I'm a complete fool for coming back to the EWA. But I am a man of my word, I told Tom Stone that I would come back and be the best damn wrestler I could be, but... unfortunately, I wasn't damn good, hell, I wasn't even good. Before the EWA closed down three men basically carried this place place on there backs, one of those men was me, the other two, Brink and Zed. Those two men are the main reason I stayed with the EWA, besides my promise to Tom Stone. I owe alot to Zed, he has helped me with alot of stuff throughout my EWA career, whether it be interference in a match, or it be a friend when I was in need, he helped me with alot of things. But the other man... The Brink, I owe my whole career to. He brought me into this world of wrestling, he helped me with my character, he's helped me when he was the president of the EWF, he's helped me out more then anyone, but the main thing The Brink did for me, he showed me a fed that looked nice and had some damned good talent, that place... The EWA. Not only did Brink open me to a challenge, he opened me to more friends. The damn guy was the shit as a wrestler and a friend. But the fact that he was the shit as a wrestler helped me in more ways then could be thought. While Brink and I were Hostile Youth, we thought that we could be the best stable this business ever had, then something happened, a wild card came into play, and that wild card was the all-mighty dollar. And The Brink sold me out to the Old Skool Revolution. It doesn't matter though, cause during the time the EWA closed me and him formed a tight bond again, he then later quit the EWA for the same reason I am quitting now, he was out of gas, and so am I. But the fact that the Brink left is another reason why I have sucked so much lately, this his presence he gave me something to try and be better then, he gave me something to strive to be, cause quite frankly, he was the person I looked up to the most. I'm sad to admit that I'm not going to amount to as much as he did, but I tried my damned hardest to be known like he's known and to kick ass such as he did, but he had all the right tools, he was at the right place at the right time, and quite frankly, for awhile he was thought to be untouchable, you can blame me for that one though. He ended his career with one loss... ONE f'n loss. I wish I could say the same, I've been losing left and right, but I have only myself to blame for that one. I'm not going to complain though, I've had my share of victories, 23 to be exact, and a few losses about 7 or 8. I've held a few championship titles in my day also, 11 to be exact over many.... let me stress MANY federations. But the title that I'm most proud of holding, that's only competition is the EWF Cruiserweight title, because that's the title that made me in this business, is the EWA Extreme Championship Belt, I've held that son of a bitch 3 times, only sharing that record with The Wildman, but since I kicked his ass for that belt on many occasions, I like to think of myself as the best damned Extreme Champion the EWA has ever seen, one night I even got Tom Stone drunk just so he would say that too. Now, over the times belts like Extreme and International and North America build up fast, if you have a decent amount of skill, but a belt that only comes to those who have damned good skill and have the patient and ability to wait and you strive for what you want, can hold the most prestigous belt in the game, a heavyweight championship. Now believe it or not, this waist has held just about every belt, but a heavyweight championship, and god damnit that was my goal in this place, because I knew that if I held that belt, even if it was just for a day, I would be the best damned Cruiserweight to step foot in any ring, anywhere. But god damn that Chandler, he held the heavyweight title, he's a cruiserweight, he's probably one of the best wrestlers this damn place has ever seen, I felt deep down that I could do it and be better then him, I NEEDED to do it, but time caught up to me, and soon enough I realize that there's another dream that won't come true, another dream that's going to scatter like dust in the wind. Oh well, shit happens, now I'm almost done, humor me and pretend like you care for a little while longer. Now the reason why I came out to "Zer0 Signal" and I'm wearing this damned old Aliance~Zer0 shirt are probably the questions on most of your minds. Well, back in the day, when Thorn was at his prime, or just entering his prime while I was in the EWF... I was the leader of a bad ass stable called Aliance~Zer0, and we dominated that fed, in my opinion I was probably the best wrestler there, and held the cruiserweight title there for what seemed like forever. This is the stable that made Thorn the person he is today, not Hostile Youth, not The Guilty Party, if it wasn't for Aliance~Zer0, Thorn would never have gotten what he needed to feed off in the EWF and never would have gotten to the level where he could be in the EWA and kick some ass, and if I never made it into the EWA, then I probably never would have stayed in wrestling. The EWA changed alot of things for me, showed me what a real federation was like where I wasn't in cahoot's with the prez. I needed to prove myself that I could make it in a new place, with new people, and with people I didn't know and didn't want to know. I came here hoping to be with Brink on our own without knowing anybody to see if we could make it. But with time, Tom Stone came knocking at our door, or was it us at his? I don't know, but we got to know him and now were really close friends. I don't think that I would be the same if it wasn't for Tom Stone, he showed me what wrestling was really like and I liked it... if you kiss ass, you get ahead. Soon enough I had held the Extreme Title three times and was shootin for the International, got that and held it forever only because the fed was on a little break. But that's not the main reason why Tom Stone is such a kick ass guy, Tom's a really cool guy, and you guys won't believe this but behind that suit and tie, is a hardcore Korn fan and a complusive cusser. He's a nice guy, and I also like Brink, owe alot of my career to him for various reasons. There's alot of other people that have shown me this and taught me that. For example, the world famous Serial Thrylla is the man that came up with my quote, and I owe him a hell of alot, cause I love the damn quote and to me, if you don't have a good quote, that shows that you don't have a good character. I worked off my quote and that also helped develope my character, Thrylla himself also worked with me on my character and he has helped me with problems I've had in the past, and just been a kick ass guy and was there when I need him. There's alot of people that I would like to thank for helping me throughout my career, first off besides Brink, Tom Stone, Serial Thrylla, and Zed, NoMaD, for being a gothic freak and being down with Hostile Youth for awhile. Chandler for introducing me to the SOTD, and he also helped me challenge myself to be better. All the people that have looked at me for help and have either followed my advice or went along with my crazy idea, and those of you who said FUCK THAT to one of my ideas, are also thanked. I'd like to thank Virulent for being a kick ass friend and being a jack ass sometimes, the same goes for Scott Rockwell ya f-cks. The Regualator's for being funny as f-ck and introducing the world to the GRUNT! Mike Anderson, Ayden Caldato, and Denzel Covington for sticking with me through me Guilty Party stint, do whatever you want with it now, it's your Ayden. Tony, ya f-ck, thanks for being there to piss me off with your always joking around stupidity, that's a compliment by the way. Justin Tense, your the shit, and that stripper knows whats up(I hope this isn't to little to late). A man called Knightmare that no one seems to like, cause back in the day, we were really tight and I still think he kicks ass, as you can tell by having Covington steal the name of his finisher. And to all the people who thought I was the shit... thank you for boosting my self-esteem. That's all for now, so big bad world, you better handle with care, before you get cut... by the Crown of Thorns!!! Peace, we out.

[Thorn tosses the mic into the crowd for one last time as a fan catches it and is all excited. Thorn stands up and walks to the center of the top of the on-ramp, the lights dim down, but the fimiliar lone green spot light covers him. He throws his hands to the air, as silver and green pyrobombs explode behind him, one by one. "Zer0 Signal" by Fear Factory blasts over the loudspeakers as the fireworks stop, Thorn scans over the crowd one last time... ever. They cheer for him as he holds his hands in the air still, seconds later he lets them fall, and slowly turns around, and walks to the back area.]

Tom Stone - I.... I cant beleive this..... [Sniff]...... First Z-.... [Sniff]...... First Zed.... [Sniff]...... [Sniff]...... Now Nick AND....... [Sniff]...... [Sniff]...... Nick AND Thorn in one show?? [Sniff]...... [Sniff]...... [Sniff]...... I can't beleive this..... [Sniff]...... What am I going to do?? [Sniff]......

[Stone lowers his head, and the camera fades to black....]