Tom Stone - If these 2 guys fought Team New School I'd put my money on Faarooq & Steve Blackman!!!

The Informer - Yeah, right. Faarooq has Steve Blackman on the top rope... If Faarooq hits this he'll have a heart attack from actually executing a move!!! He lifts him... WHAM!! HE NAILED IT!!! Powerbomb off the top!! Faarooq falls on top of Steve Blackman, Mike Hunter counts... 1..... 2.... No!! Steve Blackman poked Faarooq in the eye!! Faarooq is jumping around holding his head!!

Tom Stone - Hahah, he looks like you!!

The Informer - SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH.

Tom Stone - OOOO, temper temper temper!!!

The Informer - Faarooq kicks Steve Blackman in the nuts... He lifts him... DOMINATOR!!! ITS OVER!!! Faarooq goes for the cover... 1...... 2........ 3!!!! FAAROOQ WINS!!! FAAROOQ WINS!!! FAAROOQ WINS!!!

[Faarooq won the match in 8 minutes and 17 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, and NO LONGER an EWA Jobber, Faarooq!!

Johnny Bones - And his opponent, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada.... he is The Best There Is, The Best There Was, And The Best There Ever Will Be..... Bret "The Hitmaaaaaaaaan" Hart!!!!

The Informer - Well, Bret isn't coming out.....

Tom Stone - Duh you fucking idiot.... You retards dont know anything....

[Tom Stone heads to the ring....]

Tom Stone - Crazy Wild Man.... Where do you get your brains from?? Are you trying to pick up easy wins in the EWA??? Well first of all, Bret Hart isn't an easy opponent... And if you would have WAITED UNTIL HE WAS ON THE ROSTER, Maybe you would have had the privelege of getting beaten by one of the greatest!! Ring the bell, this match is over.

[No Contest in 0 minutes and 34 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Ladies and Gentlemen, this match has been ruled a No Contest!!

Tom Stone - This makes me sick... Where are the Old Skool??

The Informer - Who gives a damn.... DeRaNgEd goes for the cover... 1.... 2.... Kickout by BlackOut!!! BlackOut gets up... He headbut's DeRaNgEd!!! DeRaNgEd is whipped to the ropes... BlackOut swings for a Clothesline... DeRaNgEd ducks, he bounces off the ropes.... Lou Thez Press!!! Right hands!!! Right hands!!!

Tom Stone - What a ripoff!!!!

The Informer - You hired him.... DeRaNgEd gets up, he lifts BlackOut to his feet.... THE END!!!!!!!! Mike Hunter counts... 1.... 2.... 3!!!!

[DeRaNgEd won the match in 16 minutes and 20 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, DeRaNgEd!!

The Informer - They CARRY your shows....

Tom Stone - Yeah, then you woke up wet.

The Informer - Mr. X jumps from the top rope..... Atomic Drop by The Wildman!! Mr. X spins around, Wildman sets up.... Clothesline!! Mr. X gets up, Facebuster by The Wildman!! He goes for the cover, 1.... 2.... No.

Tom Stone - Booooooooooooooooring.......

The Informer - Mr. X slowly gets to his feet... The Wildman bounces off the ropes.... Bulldog!! He pulls Mr. X up, he lifts him....... Atomic Death Drop!!!! Mike Hunter counts, 1.... 2..... 3!!!!!

[The Wildman won the match in 21 minutes and 23 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, The Wildman!!

Tom Stone - This ViRuZ guy must suck... I beat Divine in a match and he's having trouble beating him in an EXTREME match???

The Informer - Tom, you're over rating yourslef... Divine was probably exausted from what he did before the match....

Tom Stone - You probably liked his Pink G-String the most!

The Informer - Umm, No... Divine picks up a chair, he swings at ViRuZ... ViRuZ ducks! He turns around and knee's Divine in the nuts! Divine drops the chair, ViRuZ picks him up... It looks like a Brainbuster onto the chair!! No!!! Divine flips over, ViRuZ turns around, Divine Intervention onto a CHAIR!!!!!!! Mike Hunter counts, 1... 2.... 3!!!!

[Divine won the match in 28 minutes and 40 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, the EWA North American Champion, Divine!!

Tom Stone - Thats cause they both suck.

The Informer - What the hell does that have to do with it??

Tom Stone - You wouldn't know.

The Informer - ViRuZ finally goes over and tags in BlackOut... He slapped him in the head!!! BlackOut is the legal man, technically... But he's leaving!! ViRuZ is chasing after him!! They're brawling down the aisle!!! Wait a minute, Mike Hunter is calling for the bell...

[Da B.J. Boyz won the match in 32 minutes and 38 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Here are your winners by Countout, Da B.J. Boyz!!

Tom Stone - Uhhhh.... YEAH!!! AND TBL IS GOD!!!!!

The Informer - Your EXTREME sarcastic remarks aren't required... Zed throws Thorn into the ring.... He throws the ladder into the ring, and it lands on Thorn... Ouch!! Thorn rolls out onto the apron.... Zed sets up the ladder, He starts climbing it. Thorn gets back into the ring... He starts climbing the othe side of the ladder... They're fighting on the top rung of the ladder!!

Tom Stone - YES!!! I HOPE THEY BOTH FALL AND BREAK THEIR NECKS!!!

The Informer - Asshole. Zed grabs Thorn..... UNFORGIVEN OFF THE TOP OF THE LADDER!!!!! Thorn is twitching!!! Zed climbs the ladder again... He's near the top... the Cattle Prod is on the tip of his fingers..... WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!!!! LOOK WHO IT IS TOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tom Stone - NO!!!!!!! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE YOU FUCKING ASSWIPE!!!!!!!

The Informer - Ladies and Gentlemen... VINCE BLACK HAS ENTERED THE RING!!!! What's he doing?? He's got a chair.... and he's climbing the ladder. This is interesting.... Zed loks down, and he doesn't recognize who the hell it is...

Tom Stone - That's because he's New School.... He's a retard!

The Informer - Soory, I can't agree.... Vince Black is at the top of the ladder... Zed has the cattle prod.... WHAM!!!!!!! VINCE BLACK JUST NAILED ZED IN THE HEAD WITH THAT CHAIR!!!!! NO!!! HE'S GONE OLD SKOOL!!!!!

Tom Stone - MUHUHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAH!!!!!! YES!!!!!

The Informer - The Cattle Prod lands right beside Thorn, and Vince Black leaves through the crowd!!! Thorn is up... He grabs the cattle prod..... ZAP!!!!! THORN WINS!!!

[Thorn won the match in 38 minutes and 45 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, Thorn!!

The Informer - Why?? Because The Brink is in it??

Tom Stone - You know it!

The Informer - I thought so... The Brink goes for a suplex... No, Nomad flips over, The Brink turns around... The Wandering!!!! Oh no! Mike Hunter is out... The Brink's boot hit him in the head as he was going down!! Nomad sets up The Brink on the top rope... He sets up.... JOURNEY'S END!!!! LOOK OUT!! THERE'S CHANDLER!!!

Tom Stone - YES!!!!!!! CHANDLER CHANDLER CHANDLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Informer - Oh please... Chandler gets into the ring... WHAM!! THE BIG TIMER!!! Nomad is out cold!! Chandler is beating on Nomad!! The Brink is up... Both of them are beating on Nomad!! HERE COMES THORN!!!!!!!!

Tom Stone - NO!! GET OUT OF HERE YOU PIECE OF CRAP!

The Informer - Chandler and The Brink see Thorn, their running out of the ring and through the crowd!!! What wusses!!

Tom Stone - FUCK YOU!

[No Contest in 48 minutes and 8 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Ladies and Gentlemen, this match has been ruled a No Contest!!