["Bulls on Parade" from RATM explodes over the PA system. Out walks the man with the prophecy, wearing street clothes and his world title. Black light pyro bombs explode as the crowd explodes for this man. Chandler walks over to the announcers booth and puts on a headset.]

The Informer - Welcome to Friday Fever folks, tonight we have a special guest color commentator... Tonight we have Chan...

Chandler - Man, shut your ass up... Tonight will be refered to as Chandlervision. I'm coming at ya like fatgirls lookin for twinkies. So sit back, buckle your safety belts, because tonight will be a night of throwdowns.

The Informer - Wow... They replace Stone and stick me with you. Wonderful lets get this underway. Our first match is Max the Million vs. The Headhunters in a special "Blindfold Match".

Chandler - Wake me up when this is done...

The Informer - Long night champ...

Chandler - Big ass party in Shreveport dude

Johny Bones - Now in the ring... at a combined weight of 420lbs... The Headhunters!! Coming to the ring at this time. Wearing the blindfold... MAX THE MILLION!!!!

[Fans boo as Max comes to the ring]

The Informer - The Headhunters quickly swarm Max, Double suplex, Max is in pain...

Chandler - You know what would kick ass... If Ted Dibiase would come back... This guy in the ring blows.

The Informer - You can't say that on television

Chandler - Oh Shit... sorry

The Informer - You can't say that either.

[Camera cuts to action 10minutes later (ECW style)]

The Informer - The Headhunters are setting up Max The Million... The call this move "Roadhead" Here it goes...

Chandler - Max The Million took the damn blindfold off!!! Maybe now he'll stop getting his ass kicked... By the way... Who the hell signs a match where they can't see a damn thing anyways?

The Informer - I have no idea, Helen Keller perhaps. Max with a thumb to the eye on Headhunter 1 Kicks Headhunter 2 in the groin... What's this?

Chandler - Roll up... Mike Hunter counts... 1... 2... 3!!!

[Max The Million won the match in 12 minutes and 28 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, Max The Million!!

Chandler - God... we need someone good to open the card, Al Capone where are you now!?

The Informer - Tom Stone

Chandler - He sure picked a doosey with this match, nothing I wanna see more... Money bags versus the aftermath of steroid abuse

The Informer - [Ring Ring] Lets get this thing underway. Warrior with a series of punches to the head of Max The Million. Max the Million rakes the eyes, He sets him up, big vertical suplex. Warrior quickly pops up... The God of Wrestling with a big scoop slam, He's getting technical folks. Warrior climbs to the top. Big Splash!!!

Chandler - And... He misses... Max the Million gets up, Big elbow drop! The Warrior springs up yet again... He picks him up, Gorilla press slam! He runs off the ropes... Big Splash!!! It's over. Man if it were 1988 my pants would be wet right now. Mike Hunter counts... 1... 2... 3!!!

[The Ultimate Warrior won the match in 17 minutes and 26 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, The Ultimate Warrior!!

The Informer - What's this... The Warrior is on the outside talking to some female friends.

Chandler - Ahahaha... They're laughing at him!!! They walked away, I thought he was the god of sex??

Chandler - This might actually be halfway decent.

The Informer - X-Treme goes right to the offensive. He whips Zed into the buckle. Monkey flip out of the corner.

Chandler - I coulda done it better... Hell I practice moves at the local pool every summer.

The Informer - Hmmm, Nomad was right then. X-Treme with a full arm drag and twist. He applies the arm bar tightly, using his current leverage advantage to its fullest.

Chandler - Awwww shuddup, we need some good chain wrestling from these two.

The Informer - Zed is powering out of it... He picks up X-treme, Body slam!! X-Treme holds on, he's still got the arm bar. Not for long... He's standing up... Short clothesline by X-Treme. He climbs the second turnbuckle. Leg Drop... Boom, it connected! Cover! Mike Hunter counts ... 1... 2... Kick Out.

Chandler - Aww hell that was close... If he lost to that he oughta be retired.

The Informer - X-Treme with a swinging neckbreaker, followed up by a big elbow.

Chandler - This has been the North American champions match all the way so far.

The Informer - Zed gets up slowly. Punches X-Treme in the gut. Whips him to the corner. Zed lands a big elbow in the corner. He picks up X-Treme... Military Press Slam... Wow, what power. He follows it up with repeated stomps to the head of X-Treme.

[The cameraman cuts ahead 7 minutes... The action has been back and forth, X-Treme now has the advantage]

The Informer - Zed is almost meat... X-Treme on the top rope, Big Elbow Drop... This could be all if X-Treme would pin Zed.

Chandler - X-Treme picks up Zed... DDT... Aww that bitch stole my damn move! He can't do that...

The Informer - He just did, he goes for the cover... Mike Hunter counts ...1 ...2 ...Kick Out

Chandler - Ya damn skippy... serves him right that Zed kicked out, stupid bastard.

The Informer - X-Treme has Zed set up on top... Superplex!!!! Now what the hell is he doing.

Chandler - He's signaling for something, this should be damn interesting.

The Informer - The champ is setting Zed up for the Showstopper, that deadly finisher that won him the damn thing!

Chandler - What the hell is that coming to the ring!?

[A small man walks out wearing an "X-Treme: Bad Ass 2 Da Bone" T-Shirt. He's an obvious X-Treme mark. This man grabs Zed's cattleprod and hops up on to the apron.]

The Informer - He's got that damn cattleprod behind his back.. He's signaling for X-Treme to come over.

Chandler - And the moron is walking over there... Awwwwwww, they're shaking hands!

[ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAP]

The Informer - What the hell... X-Treme just dropped like a ton of bricks!!! He got zapped with the damn cattleprod.

Chandler - Yeah shockstick!

The Informer - Zed quickly gets up... He's picking up the limp body of X-treme, what's this... It's a new a move... And its not the Reverse Edge.

Chandler - WHHAAAAAMMM.... He nailed it to perfection on this unconscious champion. That's one hell of a move.

The Informer - He goes for the cover... Who was that man!? Mike Hunter counts... 1... 2... 3!!!!

[Zed won the match in 23 minutes and 49 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, and NEW EWA North American Champion, Zed!!

The Informer - That's a load of crap... X-Treme had this thing won too!... What the hell, Zed is shocking the unconcious body of X-Treme for no damn reason at all, this is crap! He's setting him up for the move again... WHAAAAMM!!! Even the little guy is getting into the stomping action!

Chandler - Hush your ass up, he's got a microphone.

Zed - Tonight... This Zed-offender became Zed-victim numbero uno! This is the dawning of a new era and I ain't even done yet! Everyone in the EWA is UN-FOR-GIV-EN

The Informer - That little guy just took off the X-Treme shirt to reveal the new "Zed: Unforgiven" T-Shirt... Wow, this guys has gotten an attitude change!

[Zed leaves, and instead of giving the customary sign for the reverse edge, he gives the middle finger to all the fans who are booing him]

The Informer - Huh?

Chandler - That's Manchvegas for, I'm happy The Rock is back, I hope he doesn't want my tin though.

The Informer - Ahhh... ladies and gentlemen, thats your world champ for ya.

Chandler - The Rock is wasting no time... He's going straight at Wildman, he pins him into the corner he's firing some big right hands and boots in there. He whips him into the other corner. WHAM. He catches him with the clothesline on the way out! The Rock is laying the smackdown.

The Informer - The Rock with a big scoopslam on Wildman, he's showing no ring rust at all.

Chandler - Check that... Wildman man with a punch to the balls... Sets up The Rock, PILEDRIVER... Mike Hunter counts... 1... 2...

The Informer - Wildman on the top rope... Moonsault, beautifully done. Picks up The Rock... Back Breaker but he holds on.... He turns it into a powerslam. Nice combination.

Chandler - Some decent wrestling finally. Wildman applying to good old inverted Boston Crab...

The Informer - Beautiful maneuver! Will The Rock tap out!?... He's reaching for the ropes... He's got it... He's getting up slowly.

Chandler - The Rock with a thumb to the eye. Off the ropes... Big Clothesline! Wildman gets right up though! DDT!!! Quick as hell... not as good as mine though. He's setting him up...

The Informer - The Atomic Death Drop is coming!!! He's got him right where he wants...

Chandler - Ya can't keep a good champion down though, The Rock with a square kick to the balls! The Rock with a DDT of his own!!! Beautiful shit...

The Informer - You can't say shit.... Oooops.... Damn it. The Rock whips Wildman into the ropes...

Chandler - ROCK BOTTOM! WHAM... He nails it!!

The Informer - Off comes the elbow pad... Here it comes... Rock raises the eyebrow! People's Elbow! It's officially over... 1... 2... 3!!!!!

[The Rock won the match in 31 minutes and 26 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, The Rock!!

The Rock - The Rock is back in the EWA, and I'm fixin to lay the smackdown on every candy ass in the EWA If ya Smeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllll....... What The Rock..... is cookin'.

Deuce - ZED! We decided to add a four person to the gauntlet. Say hello to our little friend!

(All of a sudden "It�s On" by KoRn blares through the PA system and the spotlight shines once again on the backstage curtain. And out walks...)

The Informer - OH MY GOD... ITS... ITS... DA~PHREEK!!

[Jeff Anderson walks out to the ring with Trinidy and Felony on each side of him. He is wearing a Phreek T-Shirt and wrestling gear. He jumps in the ring.]

Chandler - I oughta go punk his ass out right now... Where the hell is TNT these days anyways?

The Informer - Jeff Anderson is going to embarass Zed... He's going to put him in his own move... The Reverse Edge... even though it appears the new champ dumped that move tonight...

Chandler - Man... We got Da Phreek, Dank, Blitz, Deuce... And Now Trinidy has climbed into the ring.

The Informer - Da Phreek can't keep Zed up... Trinidy helps him... They nail the move... 5 on 1...

Chandler - You know what we need?...

[Suddenly, "Welcome to the Jungle" by GnR explodes over the PA system... Ramos and Rage sprint out with Harrison Widger. Ramos has a garbage can and a New Jack style Dew Rag on. Rage has a sack full of doorknobs]

Chandler - A HA!!!! The Regulators just hit the ring... Danger Inc. Doesn't know what to do!?

The Informer - Rage with the sack full of doorknobs!!!! WHAAAMM He nails Blitzkrieg... busting him wide open. Ramos empties the garbage can... its full of weapons... He nails Deuce with a Dictionary. Now he's got a chinese cooking pot... he's got a fuckin wok!!!! WHAAAMMM Down goes Jeff "Da Phreek" Anderson.

Chandler - It's Ramos Jack!!!! AAHAHAHAHA, Rage is beating Blitz with the sack full o doorknobs! Ramos has taken Deuce completely out!!! He's on his ass on the floor!... Now its just Dank and Trinidy.

The Informer - Harrison Widger walks over to Dank!!! Kick to the groin... I can't believe it, thats embarassing... Widger just took out a huge man... Ramos picks up Dank... REVERSE SHOULDER BREAKER. He puts the garbage can over his head and throws his ass outta the ring.

Chandler - Now its just The Regulators and Trinidy... Uh oh... She walks over to Rage... She decks him!!! It has no affect on my Ballz brotha!!!!! Rage just picked up a box of tampons from the garbage can!!! WHAAAAAMMM RIGHT OVER THAT BITCH'S HEAD!!!

The Informer - Rage empties the box... It's filled with quarters... Ramos walks over to Trinidy... what the hell....

Chandler - He's unzipping his pants!!! The camera can't pick this up but he just shoved his... well to be blunt his fucking dick down her throat!!!! What the hell!!! Harrison just unzipped his pants... He's rubbing his nuts all over her body!!!! AHAHAH, this is great shit!

The Informer - Rage just handcuffed Blitz to the ropes... And Dank.... and Deuce... They're being forced to watch this!.... Wow

Chandler - Rage quickly pulls Ramos and Harrison off. He's signaling for something... It's the De-Regulator!!!!!!! WHAAAAAAAMMM.... Trinidy is done... Rage has a microphone.

Rage - You guys suck!!!!! We may not get a title shot, but we got your dignity now... You want your dignity back? Take it back in a match.... A Tag Title match!

Harrison - Yeah I got head!!!!!

Chandler - The Regulators just left the ring... And the keys... Security is coming out to clean up the carnage and unlock the fallen Inner Circle..... This is funny as hell!

The Informer - It's damn sad is what it is... Complete carnage in the ring!

[No Contest in 36 minutes and 45 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Ladies and Gentlemen, this match has been ruled a No Contest!!

BlackOut - Well, I know that many of you fans dont know me as BlackOut, but many of the fans and probably some of the roster here know me from another fed. Thats right, the man in front of you is non other than the ACF's own Xtreme... I had reasons to change my name though. Now I see the return of my 'mentor' has happened and now hes trying to turn to the meaner and darker side of wrestling instead of the baby face which he normally is. Well TBL... and yes I said TBL...

[The crowd starts to get restless]

BlackOut - Im callin you out for next tuesday. Me and you one on one in a "Leap Of Faith Match". This match of my own creation is this, we are on a platform exactly 1 mile up in the air, the platform is held up by a some building and is 300 feet wide on all sides. Now, stacked in a one mile radius below are boxes stacked up to 1,000 feet high with those white peanut things inside them. The object of course is to win but who is the answer, now eventually both men will fall or one will saty on, now the winner is either the man who is left on the platform, or if both men fall the first man to get up wins. Im not trying to make you mad, I just want to see what your made of, i mean after all your the man who made me what I am today. Oh I wont be needing this...

[BlackOut takes a ski mask out of his back pocket and throws it on the ground, the crowd goes ecstatic at the site of it but BlackOut flips them off and walks out of the ring as Welcome To The Jungle by Guns N' Roses starts to play and T.F.A is flashing on the EWA Big Screen.]

The Informer - Your a color commentator try to call one down the middle for once in your life!

Chandler - I hate this guy... bottom damn line. I ain't calling this match

The Informer - Pollux goes right for TBL... GOOGA-PLEX SLAM!!!!! What a move. Pollux walked right into it... He's not moving...

Chandler - .........

The Informer - Legend Lock!!!! Pollux is tapping out...

[TBL won the match in 14 minutes and 52 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, TBL!!

The Informer - TBL leaves the ring... what's this?? It's Zed with that mystery man from before... Looks like he's coming to help his long time friend Pollux... He helps him up

Chandler - He's got that cattleprod.... What the hell!?

The Informer - He just shocked Pollux right in the groin... Pollux goes down like a ton of bricks! What the hell happened!?!? Zed and his new manager are stomping him into the ground!.... Zed picks him up.... WHAM!!! It's that new damn move again... thats crazy! Why is he doing this to his friend!?

Chandler - All about money... he's a got a microphone...

Zed - Tonight... Zed dawns a new era and a new attitude... Pollux, You are now a Zed-Offender... Prepare to be my next victim! You are now one of the Unforgiven!

The Informer - Look out!! Here come Deuce and Blitzkreig!! They've got chains in hand!!! They storm in the ring... Blitz is going for Mike Extreme and Deuce is going for The Wildman. Deuce is beating on The Wildman with the chain!! He wraps the chain around Wildman's neck, and throws him over the top rope while holding onto the chain!! He's choking him out!!!

Chandler - Good!!

The Informer - Blitz is beating on Mike Extreme... The Riddle Box!!! Blitzkreig nailed Mike Extreme with The Riddle Box!!! Deuce and Blitzkreig have left the ring, and left the 2 men on the concrete floor!!

Chandler - Only 2 people left... Excitement level from 1 to 10, -3.

The Informer - Wardog lifts Thorn.... The Silencer... No!!! Thorn reverses it... He rolls him up... Mike Hunter counts... 1... 2.... Kick Out

Chandler - Thorn ties Wardog in the ropes... He goes to the top, we could see The Crown Of Thorns!!!

The Informer - No, Wardog gets out of the ropes... He goes over to the corner... Thorn jumps, Huraconranna into a pin!!! 1..... 2...... THREE!!!!!

[Thorn won the match in 48 minutes and 26 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Here is your winner, and NEW EWA Extreme Champion, Thorn!!

Chandler - I love to watch these guys go at it... They're just straight up good wrestlers. DFA might have this one...

The Informer - Here we go... Thrylla runs at The Brink... Thrylla Splash in the corner!!!!! This sets up one move usually!... He's putting The Brink on top!!!

Chandler - Superplex you monkey ass... not a DFA... Brink gets up quickly. Thrylla with a clothesline! Then a Big Splash.

The Informer - Brink is up again... T-Bone suplex on Thrylla... Down goes the ex champ. Brink with a big elbow from the second rope.

[BLACKOUT]

The Informer - What the hell!?

Chandler - That better not be your hand Informer

[Lights go on]

The Informer - ITS TBL!!!! THE BRINK IS MISSING... THRYLLA IS DOWN HOLDING HIS KNEE!!! WHAT THE HELL!?!?! TBL Has a baseball bat!!!!!

Chandler - He's crushing the knee of Thrylla repeatedly... What the hell is this crap!?!?!? He's gonna end his career... That's his bad right knee that hasn't recovered yet!!!!!!!

The Informer - Someone get some help for Thrylla.

[Chandler throws down the headset and gets in the ring... TBL laughs and leaves the ring and goes to the exit way.]

The Informer - TBL is cackling from the entrance way... He's proud of what he's done!!! Serial Thrylla is in a world of pain... And he's holding his right knee... Chandler is helping him up... Thrylla goes down again... The Brink just climbed back in the ring... Apparently he was taken out some how while this was all happening. It looks like he let Thrylla get his knee taken out... Brink must feel like an ass right now... This is all wrong... All wrong, TBL has disgraced the business again! When will it stop!? Ramos and Rage are out from the back... Medical attendents are out... Wrestlers from the back... Mike Extreme, Thorn, Wildman, The Rock... Hell they're all out here witnessing what just happened.... They're putting Thrylla on a stretcher and wheeling him to an ambulance.

[Camera cuts to the back where Thrylla is being put in an ambulance Rage climbs in for the ride... the camera focuses on Tom Stone having a conversation with an EMT]

Tom Stone - Is it over for him?

EMT - I think it might be... he has a serious knee injury....

[Friday Fever music comes on as the Program ends]

[No Contest in 23 minutes and 56 seconds.]

Johnny Bones - Ladies and Gentlemen, this match has been ruled a No Contest!!