EWA Presents: Scars and Stripes
June 29th 2003
Live from MCI Arena, Washington DC
like open doors
leading you down into my core
where I've become so numb?
Without a soul;
my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold,
until you find it there and lead it back home.
(Wake me up.)
Wake me up inside.
(I can't wake up.)
Wake me up inside.
(Save me. )
Call my name and save me from the dark.
(Wake me up. )
Bid my blood to run.
(I can't wake up. )
Before I come undone.
(Save me. )
Save me from the nothing I've become.
Now that I know what I'm without
you can't just leave me.
Breathe into me and make me real.
Bring me to life.
[Chorus]
Bring me to life.
I've been living a lie/There's nothing inside.
Bring me to life.
Frozen inside without your touch,
without your love, darling.
Only you are the life among the dead.
All of this sight
I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark
but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems.
I've got to open my eyes to everything.
Without a thought
Without a voice
Without a soul
Don't let me die here/There must be something more.
Bring me to life.
[Chorus]
Bring me to life.
I've been living a lie/There's nothing inside.
Bring me to life
?Bring Me To Life?
Evanesence
Maura: Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to Scars and Stripes and we are live on PPV. A great night of action from the EWA is in store for you.
Louis: Quit kissing up to the fans they don?t care all they want is blood and sex. The savages that?s all they want.
Suddenly "Eye of the Tiger" starts as Mike Victory comes out through the curtain as he shakes hands with all the fans on the way down the aisle. Mike climbs into the ring as he goes to every side of the ring looking on at the fans as they cheer loudly. Mike grabs the mic as the music stops and the fans keep cheering.
Mike: First off I want to welcome everyone to Scars and Stripes. I told myself a few weeks ago I would let the individuals who step into this ring to have as much time as they needed to beat the hell out of each other. Then after the actions of a few weeks ago and more importantly last week I have decided I need to take care of some business.
The fans cheer even more as Mike smiles but he suddenly gets a serious look on his face. Mike takes off his jacket and sets it in the corner. He stands in center ring looking at the ramp way.
Mike: A few weeks ago I was nearly choked out by a certain individual. Then the next week he put the lives of three individuals whom I fired in jeopardy. I point you now to the screen as we may relive some of this individual?s carnage.
The screen fades into Shadow beating up TacTik with cane and then smearing the blood of Synpze on a window to show an X then throwing him through it. The scene cuts out to Shadow destroying Slayer with his knee caps busted and then the swing to the jaw with his cane. The camera closes out the video footage with the words "Never Fear" in Mike?s office wall written in blood.
Mike: Shadow I am tired of playing your games. No one is afraid of you especially me. You challenged me here at Scars and Stripes. I am in the ring waiting so come on out here now.
Maura: Has Victory lost his mind? I can?t believe he is calling out Shadow.
Louis: Well someone has to control this insane freak. Let?s hope something good happens here.
Mike: Come on Shadow or are you afraid!?
With that said instantly the arena turns black as X shines were Mike Victory stands. Mike smiles as Adema "Giving Into You" plays and Shadow makes his way out. Shadow holds onto his cane limping out to the ring faster than normal. Shadow removes his jacket and sunglasses halfway and comes into the ring facing Mike face to face. The music stops as Shadow stares the owner of EWA right in the eyes.
Mike: Now just calm down for a minute I don?t want to fight you but I will if need be.
Shadow: I just assume fight and break your knee caps instead of talking tonight.
Mike: Shadow you lay one finger on me I promise you, life for you won?t be easy around here. I am not afraid of you even with that cane in your hand. Lets get something through that thick skull of yours, you will no longer run around here taking out anyone that you wish and if you do I will force you to wrestle and I personally don?t care what happens to you. No one threatens Mike Victory no one!
Shadow: Lets get something straight here Mike, I said it when I first came back that this company would be mine one day and I figure the only way I can do that is to make your life hell. You are making unwise decisions as I can see I have infected your mind. You?re no longer the same person who came out here a few weeks ago. I have changed you cause all you think about is where is Shadow coming from now? I am everywhere Mike and the only person I want to wrestle is you in this very ring because everyone knows I already wrestled with your wife in the bedroom!
Victory had enough as he starts swinging at Shadow nailing him with a few left and rights. Shadow comes back swinging hard putting Mike in the turnbuckle as Shadow puts Mike?s knee across the rope. He grabs his cane removes the protective sheath that surrounds it.
Maura: Oh no he is going to do it Mike Victory?s knee could be shattered here. Shadow backs up as referees hold Shadow back. Thank god they are here this man has got to stop.
Mike gets up and clips Shadow in the knees as Shadow falls down holding down onto his knee. Mike grabs the cane forcing the referees out of the way as he looks at Shadow. Mike stomps around the knees of Shadow as he holds onto them protecting them. Mike raises the cane up high in the air and starts to slam it down but misses Shadows knee on purpose. Suddenly the lights go out and "Kill You" by Eminem starts to play as The Butcher comes down running to the ring and smiles at Victory. He takes the cane as Shadow yells at him to do it you weak son of a bitch. Butcher starts swing at Shadow but misses intentionally and nails Victory across the mid-section. Shadow crawls up gaining his composure as Butcher starts beating on Mike. Grabbing onto his mid-section he falls to the ground as Butcher climbs the top rope as Shadow lays the cane down across Mike?s knee holding him down as Butcher splashes across his knee. Mike Victory yells out in pain as the crowd starts chanting "Holy Shit". Shadow grabs the mic.
Shadow: Mike lets get something straight here. Don?t you ever try to do what you just did ever again. This company will be mine one day and there isn?t a damn thing you can do about it! I hope you rot in hell you sorry son of a bitch! Butcher?..get the table!
Maura: Oh no please don?t tell me that he is really going to do this! Butcher sets up the table outside the ring and Shadow sets Mike Victory on the top rope. Mike is just hanging on for dear life. Oh my please don?t this please don?t do it. Butcher is climbing the top rope and he puts Mike between his legs PLEASE DON?T DO THIS!! OH MY GOD! Butcher just powerbombed Mike Victory through the table on the outside from the top rope. EMT?s are surrounding the owner, wait what is Shadow doing now.
Shadow: One more thing Mike, "Never Fear"!
Maura: This is sick the owner of EWA is out on the floor. All this because of Shadow and Butcher!
Louis: What is going to happen now? I mean Shadow and Butcher have formed that alliance that Shadow was talking about all along.
Maura: I don?t know, I really don?t know. Fans we?ll be right back. This is just sickening.
The EMT?s attend Mike as they put on a neck brace and bring out stretcher as he lays there unconscious not moving as a worried crowd looks on. Shadow and The Butcher leave together smiling at the carnage they have done to the owner of the EWA.
Louis: You know Mike getting taken out will only move this Pay Per View forward.
Maura: What do you mean?
Louis: Look at it this way, if Victory is away at the Hospital then the show will flow and we can say what ever the hell we want.
Maura: Your sick
Louis: Hold on Maura, why don?t we go to our first match tonight, to hell with you must be the time of the month for you.
Maura: Yeah lets just do that.
Louis: Well Maura here we are, Smoke and Tornado in a last man standing match
Maura: Smoke and Tornado are both new to the EWA but have shown some good quality in their matches so far!
Louis: Well, Maura let's see what happens here for the ppv's opener,
(The lights dim and lasers perform a slow arc as "The World's Greatest" by R. Kelley works its way over the PA. Tornado appears at the ramp's entrance as the words, "Brought to you by: Last Vengeance" flashes across the titan tron to footage of Tornado's last matches. The crowd gives a decent pop as Tornado poses, and then he walks down the ramp noticing a few fans here and there. He jumps in the ring and poses on a turnbuckle.)
Louis: Well, Tornado seems to be pumped up for this ppv effort.
Maura: Yes, but here's his opponent and the favorite to win this match- Smoke!
(Tornado's music is cut as if a record is being ripped from its player. The crowd gives a big pop as "Ruff Ryder Anthem" by DMX tears onto the speakers, and pyro shoots as fog billows out onto the ramps. The words, "Up In Smoke" show on the titan tron as Smoke appears in the entrance and gives a smile to the crowd. He begins to jog, then run down the aisle to the ring.)
Maura: Seems Smoke is a little anxious to start this Last Man Standing match!
(Indeed he is. Smoke slides in the ring under the ropes and launches to his feet, and begins pummeling Tornado with left's and right's. Tornado begins back pedaling, and Smoke pauses to lift his right hand back and high to a cheer from the crowd, sending it into Tornado's unguarded face. He takes the hit and falls back into the ropes. He bounces back a bit, and Smoke hits him with a face-breaker.)
Louis: Dear lord! It seems Smoke really is eager. Word is, he's tired of facing this guy every week.
(Tornado goes down to a single knee, holding his face as Smoke backs away raising his arms. Tornado glares up. Smoke sneers back and begins an approach. As he gets near, he grabs Tornado's nape of the neck, but the man finally fights back, sending one two three elbows in a row to the gut of the big man. Smoke backs off a second, clenching his banged up ribs, giving Tornado a chance to get to his feet. Tornado braces himself as Smoke turns, and jumps. The crowd gives a huge pop as Tornado lands a standing dropkick to the face of Smoke, and the two go down, both hurting from that one. They each have reached a knee by the count of two, and the crowd gives a giant boo. The two look confused but see the source of the crowd's reaction.)
Maura: What are those two doing here?!?
(Hells Angel and Cyril Acheston are walking down the ramp. They ignore the fans and approach the ring. Smoke and Tornado are both on their feet looking at the duo who have just arrived. Hells and Cyril walk up to the mat's apron, and they reach under the ring. They pull out two metal chairs calmy as the referee begins yelling at them that they can't be there. The two smile as Smoke glares at them, then at Tornado and then back at the two. Hells and Cyril open the metal chairs and set them up near the barrier, close to the announcer's table. They sit as Cyril gives Smoke a wink.)
Louis: It seems that Last Vengeance supports their own.
Maura: This isn't right, Louis
(Smoke shakes his head and turns back to Tornado, but doesn't see much as Tornado lands a huge clothesline on the unsuspecting man. Tornado runs right over the man and poses to the crowd as he climbs the turnbuckles. He reaches the top and motions to the crowd. Smoke stirs, but doesn't come to. Tornado leaps and attempts a very dangerous knee drop from the top, but Smoke rolls left at the last moment, letting Tornado feel a world of pain.)
Louis: Nice move by Smoke there!
(The ref begins the ten count for the end of the match. By four, Smoke and Tornado had both reached their feet with the ropes' help on opposite sides of the ring. The two rush at each other and tie up. After a bit of struggling, Tornado wins out and shoves Smoke, then he follows up with two slaps over his chest. Smoke grabs his chest and manages to block the third with his free hand. Tornado has a moment of shock as Smoke, in a rage, slaps his hand to Tornado's throat and motions to the crowd.)
Maura: And a big save by Smoke on that one!
(Smoke braces and lifts, sending Tornado down in a very harsh chokeslam. Smoke stumbles up and grabs Tornado by his hair, and he motions once more)
Louis: It's time for the Up In Smoke!!!
(Smoke musters enough strength from his bruised self and lifts Tornado into his patented move. At the top of the move, Tornado gives a shift of weight and a jerk, and instead of Smoke issuing the stunner end of his move, Tornado comes back huge with a counter to the Up In Smoke.)
Maura: Mother of God, that was brutal on both of them!!!
(And it was. Both men lie on the ground as the ref begins the count to ten.)
1..
2..
(No movement.)
3...
4...
5
(Smoke begins to come to as Tornado slowly rolls on his side.)
6....
7
8
(Tornado puts his arm under himself.)
9
(Tornado lifts, and he's up!)
10!
Louis: And a big win for the underdog here at Scars and Stripes!
(The ref makes to lift Tornado's arm, yet thinks better of it as Cyril and Hells enter the ring, lifting an arm each of Tornado. The group makes its way out of the ring, but not before Cyril gives a post-match kick to the still-down Smoke and spits on the mat in front of him. The ref calls foul and orders Last Vengeance out of the ring.)
Maura: We'll be right back.
[The show heads to a commercial break, on return from the break the show opens up backstage, where a long black limo pulls up in the parking area. The door opens and out steps Gary Mac, holding a replica of the EWA One title and his newly won IWF Tag Team title. Mac steps out looks around and takes a breath and heads backstage the show cuts back to Maura and Louis.]
Maura: Why the hell is the former co-owner here tonight?
Louis: I don?t know but knowing Mac its going to be something good.
Maura: Lets just go to our next match up ok.
Maura: Fans this next match has just been made more interesting tonight. For those of you who don?t know what happened earlier tonight our owner Mike Victory was power bombed through a table off the tope rope by The Butcher and what seems to be his new manager, Shadow.
Louis: Personally I thought it was about time I mean Mike got in Shadows way and that?s something you just don?t do in wrestling.
Maura: Well anyways I hope Caveman beats the hell out of The Butcher and puts him in a hospital bed.
Louis: Touchy aren?t we about this whole situation?
The lights go out, and the arena is silenced. The opening chords of Kill You blast from the PA system and fireworks are set off at the top of the entrance ramp, as Butcher walks through flames. He makes his way down the ramp accompanied by the fireworks and steps into the cage. The Butcher looks like he hasn?t slept in days. He looks like has been tormented by the demons inside of him.
Marlon: Introducing first from Pittsburgh PA THE BUTCHER!!!!
The Butcher walks inside of the cage circling it waiting on Caveman when suddenly "You Should Be Dancing" By The Bee Gees plays and out comes Caveman with Sam Smarts behind. Smarts points to the cage as Caveman walks to it shaking the cage all over. Caveman walks into the cage and stands in the middle of the ring.
Marlon: His opponent from The Rockies accompanied by Sam Smarts, CAVEMAN!!!
Maura: This is going to be one intense match between two of the biggest guys in the EWA. What?s even more interesting we put them both inside of the steel cage. The only way you can win is to climb out or get out of the door.
Louis: I think this match is going to be one of hardest hitting matches we have seen so far in the rebirth of the EWA.
Caveman and Butcher stand face to face and seem to be talking to one another. The size difference seems to be fairly noticeable as Butcher starts to talk more to Caveman. Butcher swings at Caveman hitting him in the head repeatedly as Caveman looks more annoyed than anything as pushes Butcher down. Butcher gets right back up only to be knocked back down by Caveman with a thunderous right hand. Butcher lays on the ground wondering what happened as Caveman takes control and picks him up and whips him hard into the cage. Butcher yells out in pain as falls to his knees. Caveman runs and smacks him right on the chin with his big boot and Butcher falls down to the mat.
Maura: Smarts is telling him to walk out of the cage and Caveman is making his way. Wait a second, Butcher is up and jumps on the back of Caveman pounding him at the head. Caveman seems to be feeling those punches somewhat. Caveman grabs and Butcher and oh my, he just flipped him over and Butchers back just kissed the mat hard.
Louis: Caveman using his size to the advantage here and wrestling smart. Butcher needs to go for the knees to take the big man off his feet.
Maura: I couldn?t have said it better myself Louis. Caveman picks Butcher up and throws him into the cage head first. Smarts is yelling something at him as Caveman grinds Butchers face into the cage. Butcher is busted wide open.
Caveman leaves Butcher against the cage as he runs and flattens Butcher against the cage. Butcher falls down as Caveman starts to stomp away at the head of him. Caveman picks Butcher up and whips him into the turnbuckle as Caveman runs but misses as Butcher falls to the ground. Caveman turns around as Butcher kicks him right between the legs. Butcher a bloody mess runs and spears Caveman right in the knees. He falls down as Butcher seems to be picking up the offense. Butcher comes up and nails a DDT on Caveman but Caveman pops right back up.
Maura: Oh my Caveman is pumped tonight but Butcher isn?t backing down one bit. Caveman looks at Butcher and Smarts is screaming at him to power bomb him. I hate to say this but it would serve him right cause of Butchers actions earlier tonight. Caveman picks Butcher up and good god! Caveman just power bombed Butcher right into the turnbuckle and Butcher is out of it. Caveman is walking to the door, the door is open!
Louis: Caveman is going to win here! I knew it I win I win!
Maura: What are you talking about? Did you place money on this match?
Louis: I?m not going to say so unless you want dinner later on tonight. Wait a minute!
As Caveman starts to step out of cage the lights go out. Suddenly ?Giving Into You? by Adema starts to play as the crowd erupts. An X lights right where Caveman stands as he looks confused. The lights come back on as Shadow stands right in the middle of the ring.
Maura: Look who is here!! Its that sick SOB Shadow. He looks right at Caveman and Smarts is telling him to leave but Caveman doesn?t want to leave just yet. He runs and tries to clothesline Shadow but misses and Shadow, just nails him across the knee with that cane of his. Caveman is down on his knees as Shadow swings at his head but misses.
Louis: What is Caveman going to do here now?
Maura: Caveman is struggling to get up as Smarts is in the ring now. Smarts goes after Shadow but he misses and nails Caveman. Shadow kicks Smarts in the mid-section and DDT! Smarts is out like a light and Caveman struggles to get up Shadow turns around and walks right into the hand of Caveman.
Caveman picks him up in the air but Butcher gets up and falls clipping Caveman as Shadow falls and Caveman clutches his knee. Shadow gets out of the ring as Butcher takes the cane and wraps it around the leg of Caveman and applies the figure-four. Caveman yells out in pain as Butcher clinches harder on the knee. Smarts comes to crawling out of the door as Shadow drags him out. Smarts gets up and gets a chair.
Maura: What is Smarts doing with a chair now?
Louis: Maybe he wants to sit down.
Maura: I highly doubt that. Caveman is really hurting in pain and Smarts is yelling at him to break the hold. Caveman grabs Butcher by the neck. I don?t think he can do it and I?m right. Caveman falls to that one knee as Butcher starts to climb the cage.
Louis: Butcher is smart going for the top while Caveman cant walk now cause of the damage done to his knee.
Smarts opens the door and slides the chair in the ring as Shadow chases him off. Caveman grabs the chair and starts to swing at Butcher but he knocks it to the ground. Caveman grabs the foot of Butcher and starts to pull but Butcher fights.
Maura: Caveman has his foot and is pulling but Butcher is fighting to stay on the cage. Butcher kicks Caveman right in the throat as OH MY GOD!! What the hell was that? Butcher just flipped off the rope and caught Caveman with a reverse DDT on the chair!!!
Louis: That?s Shadows old finisher Darkness Reigns!! I have seen it before and Caveman is out cold here!!
Maura: Butcher a bloody mess starts to crawl out of cage the door is open. Butcher inching every so slowly to the door and Caveman is start to come to. Butcher looks over at him and dives falling out of the door!!! BUTCHER WINS!!!
Louis: What a wild ending to the match!!
Maura: Smarts cannot believe it that his man lost the match!! Butcher leans on the cage as Shadow raises his arm up in the arm! This is an unholy union between these two. Butcher is a bloody mess as Shadow extends his hand.
Louis: I think its going to become official here. These two are going to the top.
Maura: Wait a minute! Shadow just shook Butchers hand and whipped him into the stairs! What the hell is going on here!! Shadow has the mic.
Shadow: Lets get something straight here Butcher! You should always expect an attack from anyone at any time. Your training continues now and its about to get extreme!
Shadow walks off as Butcher lies there in a bloody mess and out cold. The crowd is confused at the actions of Shadow
Maura: This show has been weird all night, first the arrival of Gary Mac, then this and that?s not including the assault on Mike Victory.
Louis: Get over all of it will you, shit happens and the shit happened now we move on.
Maura: When did you become such and arrogant . . . well you know.
Louis: Since I saw the man that hired me in the first place return.
Maura: Who said he has returned?
Louis: Look at whats happening.
The show cuts backstage where Gary Mac walks along the EWA corridors looking at certain locker rooms. Mac stares for a few moments at the Great Malinkos locker room but decides to just walk on past. He comes to Christian Cages locker room and steps inside. Mac walks over to Cage
Gary Mac: Hold on Cage, I?m not here to fight or to argue with you. I?m here to give you some advice.
Christian Cage: I don?t need any advice from you.
Gary Mac shrugs and then walks out of the locker room, Mac walks along the corridor to find the Revolutions locker room, Mac locks at it and contemplates going in.
Gary Mac: They let me down, no need to visit them anymore.
Mac walks away and the scene cuts back to Maura and Louis.
Maura: What the hell, that?s weird.
Louis: Shut up Maura, he is the greatest this company has ever seen so respect the man.
----The screen once again goes fuzzy. When it fades in again, it fades in on a shot of the black TALKING SHIT logo on a red backboard. We pan down to see "the New Talent" Davlin McCaine, who is sitting on kind of a talk show stage. He looks deep in thought.
DAVLIN: (voice over) Hmmm, people didn't seem to like my last Talking Shit....well, maybe not people. After all, I would barely classify the Butcher as a person, or at least as an intelligent one. However, I did leave a major cliche' out of last week's Talking Shit, and that is the "mind reading cliche.'" In other words, the one that allows a wrestler to mysteriously express their inner thoughts to the viewer....right before he/she says the EXACT SAME THING in their actual promo. An example.....
Oh Butcher, listening to you speak is much like watching a really drunk person try to recite their A...B...C's.....or a retarded kid trying to spell their own name. Hilariously funny at first, but then sad and kind of pathetic. You dedicated half of your freaking promo to me.....a wrestler that isn't even officially on the EWA roster, and for what? To prove that you were a bad ass by performing the exact cliches' I was making fun of. Wow.....what a waste of time. You probably consider irony to be the thing you flatten your clothes out with, don't you?
And as for your pathetic challenge to me. Well,.....let me put it in terms that even a mouthbreather like you can understand. DAVLIN......HURT. DAVLIN NOT ABLE TO WRESTLE. WHEN DAVLIN'S BACK BETTER......DAVLIN CAN WRESTLE. Hmmmm, maybe that was a bit too confusing. Perhaps I need to draw you a diagram.
Nah, f#$k it. You know what? My back is almost healed.....which means that "the New Talent" will soon be back to kicking names and taking ass in EWA, and when that happens....well, perhaps I might have to knock your re re ass in the dirt once and for all. In fact, I'm starting to put together a little surprise to handle dogf#$kers like you, and you'll soon see what I'm talking about. When? Well, if I told you....it wouldn't exactly be a surprise, now would it.
Now enough of this telepathy shit......my head's starting to hurt.
DAVLIN: (actually speaking now) This week on Talking Shit......well, I figured that since Jim Ross ended his "Ross Report" thingee, there's been no random blurbs of the things and opinions that are going on in the world of wrasslin.' So without further adieu.....I present "Davlin's Random Thoughts."
-----At this point, calming music begins to play, as we cut to many different soft focused angle shots of Davlin.
DAVLIN: You know that guy Sam Smart? I often think that Sam couldn't be that God damn Smart. After all, why would a smart guy waste his time representing a drooling retard like the Caveman....when he could be repping somebody with actual Talent....like me. I mean, if it was a thing of finding a big brainless guy to take advantage of, why represent the Caveman when he could have just repped the Butcher instead.
What's the big fuss about T.A.T.U not really singing their own songs? They're fucking lesbian Russian schoolgirls!! Who gives two f#$ks if they can even sing?!?
And speaking of hotties.....Ashton Kutcher is banging 40 year old.....but still a f#$king hottie, Demi Moore. Good job, my son. Especially since I was able to bag fine ass Brittany Murphy after you were done with her. Score!!!
Speaking of the Butcher......did you know he was a former BCW World Heavyweight Champion? Man.....I wonder what kind of blackmail he had on the BCW owners. Maybe he had a pic of the BCW head guy with his dick in a donkey's mouth.....or worse, a 13 year old boy. Hmmmm, maybe the Butcher isn't as big of a tard as I originally thought. (see.....told you I'd repeat the same shit I just "mentally" said)
You know, after all the bullshit thrown at the poor Dixie Chicks by those sister raping, pick up truck driving, NASCAR watching, redneck, hillbilly, hick ass country fans.....if I would have been the Dixie Chicks, I would have said, "F#$k you, you record burning, Freedom of Speech trampling, Nazi pieces of shit!!! We're gonna totally go pop now, while you guys can stay and jack off to your boring ass George Jones records. And NASCAR f#$king SUCKS!!!"
Speaking of NASCAR, and how it is suddenly "the Hot Sport." F#$K NASCARRRRRR!!! The only reason I would want to see those hillbillies driving 500 mph in a circle for two hours, is if they all eventually crashed those expensive cars into a wall....or into each other. Otherwise, I'd rather watch WWE than NASCAR, and WWE f#$king BLOWS now.
Speaking of "Monday Night H" or "RAW IS SNORE".......Nah, it's a waste of time to even discuss WWE. Even I draw the line at cracking on somebody dying of cancer, which is pretty much like the current WWE. NWA TNA all the way.
Will somebody introduce Christian Cage's annoying brat to the same fate that befell Gary Mac's annoying brat? I mean, look at Mac's career since his little kid took the big dirt nap.....meanwhile, Cage is struggling like a man caught in the grips of a hungry Kathy Bates. See a pattern.
Pussy....there aint nothing wrong with that.
Speaking of pussy......is it wrong to desire myself as being the meat in an Alyson Hannigan and Amber Benson sandwich? Just wondering.
Speaking of "Sandwiches"......Try my BBQ Sauce.....it should be coming to a store near you....eventually. Sometime in the next ten years. BOOMER SOONERS!!!
Sorry, that was just my channeling "Good Ole JR."
-----We go back to a regular shot of Davlin.
DAVLIN: Well, that was my Talking Shit for the week. If you didn't like it....well, you can eat my ass, because that's as good as it's going to get. Be here next week for a special guest star and discussions about the future of "the Talent."
Until Then.....THE BUTCHER SUCKS......sorry, just had to say that one more time.
And I'm Out.
The show cuts back to the announcers
Maura: Louis that Davlin McCaine sure is vulgar.
Louis: That?s why he has so many fans, he tells it straight and it is talking shit.
Maura: Maybe you have a point there.
Louis: I always do.
Maura: I?m talking about the talking shit remark.
Louis: Very funny Maura.
Maura: I know lets just go to the next match ok.
"Somewhere I Belong" by Linkin Park plays on the PA. The lights go off and a strobe light comes on. There is a huge burst of pyro, the lights come back on and the strobe goes off. John Steele comes out, wearing dark sunglasses and a trench coat. He stands in the entranceway and stares at the crowd, getting a huge pop. John runs down the ramp and rolls under the bottom rope, ripping off his sunglasses and raising his arms. John taunts the crowd by stepping on the middle rope of one side of the ring and raising his fist in the air
Maura: We are almost underway for the World of pain match its a falls count anywhere hardcore match between John Steele and Cyril Acheston.
Lights go off again and "This Is The New Shit" by Marilyn Manson starts blasting on the PA. Acheston runs out and rushes towards the ring. By the time the lighting returns to normal Acheston is already rolling into the ring. Johnsteele wastes no time and begins kicking Acheston as he rolls in. The referee signals for the bell. The bell ring and the match is officially underway.
Louis: Wasting no time at all
Johnsteele brings Acheston to his feet and whiplashes him towards the ropes, Acheston bounces of the rope to end up on the receiving end off an elbow to the face upon his return. JohnSteele taunts the crowd for a few brief moments. And the crowd responds with cheers.
Maura: He is wasting time here, he should have gone for a quick pin instead.
Johnsteele rolls out of the ring and begins searching for something underneath the ring.
Louis: What the hell is he doing?
Maura: Oh my god he is pulling out a table.
Johnsteele pulls out a table and sets it up next to the ring. He rolls back in to avoid a count out. Acheston too has regained his strength is getting on to his feet, Johnsteele rolls out as fast as he rolled in. He pushes the ring announcer away and grabs his chair. Steele rolls back into the ring with the chair in hand.
Louis: Well this is a hardcore match ladies and gentlemen, meaning anything and everything goes.
Johnsteele charges Acheston with the chair in his hand but Acheston wisely kicks john in the belly stopping him in his track. John drops the chair and takes a swing at Acheston with his right hand. Acheston too fires back and both wrestlers begin exchanging punches
Maura: A punch frenzy has broken out.
John Steele seems to have gotten the upper hand and Acheston seems to be losing his composure, John Steele tries to connect with a big left hand however Acheston again kicks john in the belly. John bends down holding his belly, Acheston capitalizes and pile drives johns head into the mat. Acheston walks over towards the chair John had dropped, he kicks the chair closer to john. He than walks back up to John brings him to his feet and delivers a DDT with Johns haed crashing on to the steel chair.
Louis: I think Steele just got a taste of some real steel.
Acheston rolls john over on to his back hooks up his leg and goes for the pin. 1...2.? john barely gets a shoulder up.
Louis: That was so close I want to see a replay.
Maura: Acheston cant believe it.
Acheston gets up and starts yelling at the referee blaming him for counting slow. Referee sticks with his call and tells the steaming Acheston to back off. Acheston realizes he is wasting precious time by arguing with the official. He runs across the ring bounces off the ropes and leaps into the air for a leg drop. He connects. He again hooks up Johns leg and goes for the cover, 1...2.. John kicks out. Acheston is now furious at the referee. He grabs the chair he DDTed john into and patiently waits by the turnbuckles for John to get to his feet. John slowly does regain his composure and gets on to his feet. As soon as he does do Acheston charges at him with a chair in his hand.
Maura: Look out.
John ducks to avoiding the swinging chair. Acheston again charges john with the chair but john drop kicks the chair on to Acheston?s face.
Louis: He drop kicked the chair in to his face. Now that is smart. Painful but smart.
John wastes no time and goes for a quick pin.1...2 Acheston pulls his shoulders off the mat at 2. John gets back to his feet slowly followed by Acheston, John pushes Acheston into the ring and attempts a clothesline, Acheston runs under the clothesline and counters with his own and connects. He quickly tries to turn the clothesline into a sleeper hold but fails and John falls to the mat instead of into his arms, He brings john to his feet only to Sidewalk Slam him into the mat. He again goes for the pin. 1...2.. John kicks out again in the nick of time.
The crowd begins to roar.
Maura: Crowd seems to be behind Steele.
Acheston furious he did not get the win on that attempt pulls john back to his feet by his hair. He leans down to pick Steele into the air for a Suplex. He lifts John high in the air.
Maura : Look out this is going to be high impact.
Acheston however does not suplex john right away he turns around faces the crowd and taunts them, only to receive heavy Boos, he then strongly brings john crashing into the mat.
Louis: Wisely executed Delayed suplex by Acheston.
Acheston walks over to the back of John and ties his legs up in an unorthodox version of the figure four. John yells in pain. The crowd begins booing. The ref lower on to the mat to see if John will quit or tap out. Acheston yells in fury as he applies even more pressure, John yells back in pain, Referee yells asking John if he wants to call it quits, John nods back signalling ?No?. John starts using his hands to pedal towards the ropes, with the crowd firmly behind him at this point.
Maura: John seems to be building a bit of momentum here with the crowd cheering heavily as he is desperately trying to make it to the ropes.
Louis: He better be because this here figure four will break his legs pretty soon if he doesn?t.
John uses his right hand to attempt grabbing the ropes but he falls short by a few inches. He tries again with the left after gaining a bit more ground and he makes it. Referee counts to 4 and breaks Achestons hold up. John holds on to the turnbuckle to regain his breath. Acheston sees the opportunity and charges towards John, John gets warned by the crowd and ducks out at the last minute. Acheston hits the turnbuckles hard. Slowly both men get back on to their feet. They stare hard at each other for a moment and then charge with full velocity towards each other. John leaps towards Acheston and spears him. Acheston holding his ribs rolls out of the ring only to land on the table John had pulled out earlier. The crowd goes crazy at the sight of Acheston lying on the table and cheer to see John to send Acheston through the table.
Maura: Oh my God, are we gonna see someone crash through wood tonight?
John steele leaps off the ropes but Achestion moves out of the way and Steele crashes through the table, Acheston covers him on the out side.
ONE
TWO
THREE!!!
The bell rings and Cyril Acheston stands with the newly won World of Pain title in his hands.
Louis: Well Cyril takes the World of Pain title tonight on Scars and Stripes.
Maura: John Steele gave it is all but came up short.
Louis: Like always, John Steele comes up short once again.
Maura: Lets go to a commercial.
The show cuts to a commercial advertising the next EWA Tsunami, once it comes back from that the lights in the arena cut off and the fans begin to wonder just what is happening. Then the Words ?Here comes the Real Deal? the crowd give a mixed reaction as ?Tear Away? by Drowning Pool begins to play and out steps Gary Mac with a too fucking good T-Shirt on, he has the replica of the EWA One championship over his shoulder and the IWF Tag Title around his waist. Mac soaks in a the mixed reaction and then heads to the ring, Mac climbs the ring steps and enters through the ropes Mac climbs the turnbuckle and poses.
Maura: The question still remains, why is Gary Mac back in an EWA ring?
Louis: Who needs to know, this will boost buy rates you know.
Mac gets off the ropes and walks over to the middle of the ring, he is handed a microphone by Marlon Marvel. Mac goes to speak but an EWA chant begins to start, Mac listens as a small bring Mac back chant begins. Mac laughs and then pulls the microphone to his mouth.
Gary Mac: For around seven to eight long hard months, . . . I have been one of the front runners in EWA. Or so am I?m told, . . . I had a great time during my career here and I even held the One championship. I took it from the current owner Mike Victory, I took it and I would like to think I gave the EWA something it never had before. A champion who would put the company first, you see I was never here to win titles, granted I won one, but Ii decided after a short time just to drop the title. I knew the EWA didn?t need me as a champion . . . hell the place didn?t need me as a wrestler either. I put my body on the line every night that I stepped through these ropes.
But I?m not here to talk about the past, I?m here to talk about the here and now. When EWA re-opened with both me and Mike at the helm, I knew after the first show EWA was a place were I was the best, I didn?t want to ruin it by becoming an owner so I sold up. Mike got full control of the EWA, and what happened after that? . . . I get asked by three people if I?m going to return to the EWA, or if I?m going to return for one night only. Well another person contacted me, his name . . . Mike Victory. Mike has asked me once, he hasn?t bugged me nor pressured me into returning. But I decided that for one night only I would come out here and deliver a speech. The speech every EWA fan and some wrestlers have been waiting for . . . after a long hard talk with Mike we both decided it would be for the best if I . . . Rrrrrr
Look I?m stuttering because this is hard for me, let me just come out and say it. As of this moment on Gary Mac is stepping out of the ring and into full time retirement, as of now there is no more Gary Mac the wrestler. So I don?t want to hear no one asking me when I?m going to return, as of now I?m out of the business that I was so perfect at. Its been great, its been hard, but most of all its been fun, . . . take care.
Mac puts the microphone down and leaves the ring, a tear drop is seen trickling down the eye of Mac as he slides out of the ring, the fans begin a Gary Mac chant Mac walks up the aisle way and then turns and gives a thumbs up to the fans. Mac heads backstage and the camera follows, Mac walks down the hallway where all the EWA wrestlers at tonights show are seen standing by their locker room. Some shake their head in respect for Mac others look disappointed, Mac gets to the car Park and opens the limo door. Mac throws in the EWA One title and then takes on look back as the fans begin another bring back Mac chant, Mac smiles and then steps inside his limo. The limo reverses and drives away, the scene fades to a video highlight of Gary Macs career. The show comes back to a quiet and very shocked crowd, the scene cuts down to Maura and Louis.
Maura: That is probably one of the most shocking things ever in EWA.
Louis: . . .
Maura: Stop crying Louis.
Louis: We just lost a true legend in this field of wrestling, their will never be another Gary Mac.
Maura: Even after what just transpired we need to move on here tonight and with J taking on Orange Bullet.
The Show just cuts backstage where J has attacked Bullet in his locker room, a chair to the back of OB sends him crashing to the floor. J pulls Bullet up and rams him head first against the wall. J gets in a mounted position and begins smashing a right to the head of OB. J stops and begins bashing OB?s head off the floor. J gets up and grabs a chair, J goes to hit Bullet with it but a bunch of officals run in and stop the action. They separate both men and some EMT?s run in to check on Bullet.
Maura; Well it looks like we wont be having the next match then.
Louis: J just couldn?t wait, he couldn?t wait and now we are a match down.
Maura: What are we going to do now?
Louis: Another Gary Mac video package?
Maura: Nah lets go to a video package of the main event tonight.
Downs: What a night it?s been thus far Louis, but what?s hard to believe is that we still have two huge bouts still to come! Not only do we have the TLC Hell In A Cell Match as Christian Cage defends the Universal title against The Great Malinko and Hells Angel?
Carvenelie: You?re absolutely right there, up next it?s the United States title belt on the line as we settle a heated feud here in EWA. It?s Scotty Delrae putting his US title on the line against ?The Unstoppable? Jordan Michaels?and that?s Scotty?s music playing now?dead man walking Maura!
Downs: Wrong company Louis!
?Terrible Lie? ? Nine Inch Nails is playing loudly and the crowd are deafening as the reigning US Champion makes his way to the ring. He is walking more freely than we?ve seen in weeks, and he rotates his neck and flexes it reassuringly to his fans as he points to the belt. Pointing to the ceiling his new pyro rains down on him, and already there?s a booming ?SCOTTY? chant as the man himself looks out through the pyro to his people?
Downs: And there he is. What a talent he is, and what an impact he?s made on the EWA in such a short space of time. I for one can?t wait for this?HEY WAIT A MINUTE?THAT SON OF A B*TCH!!
Carvenelie: THAT WAS GREAT!
It?s hard to see through the pyro, but what can clearly be seen is a figure choking Scotty from behind with a chain! The pyro finally cuts away?and the crowd boo intensely as Jordan Michaels, in street clothes, chokes out his opponent in the upcoming match with a chain. Scotty tries to fall to his knees, but he gets dragged up by the throat?then sent head-first into the set! ?JORDAN SUCKS? comes from the fans, but Michaels isn?t paying the damndest bit of attention as he lays waste to Scotty Delrae on the floor. He is flogging him with the chain, and pretty soon disgusting purple welts, bruises and pockets of blood are clearly visible on the Champion?s back.
Downs: What is the meaning of this? This isn?t a match?it?s not even in the damn ring?it?s a mugging!
Carvenelie: Jordan is sending a message loud and true to the rest of the EWA right here Maura! He?s Unstoppable don?t you know?
Downs: He?s Unstoppable?little wonder when he attacks from behind with a chain?and?hey come on! Now he?s got a lead pipe!
He does indeed have a pipe, pulling it from the back of his jeans, and he crouches, a demented smile on his face as he beckons the barely conscious Scotty Delrae back to his feet. He waits?UNTIL FINALLY HE CRACKS THE PIPE OVER THE FOREHEAD! Scotty goes back down, and a trickle of blood drops down his forehead. His eyes are closed and his breathing is heavy. The crowd are physically hurling garbage at Jordan as he taunts them, before turning back?AND HITTING SCOTTY RIGHT ACROSS THE THROAT WITH THE PIPE?
Officials start to pour out onto the stage, and one of them sneaks up behind Michaels and pulls the pipe out of his hand! In a flash Jordan turns?AND GIVES HIM A SUPERKICK!
The officials scatter a little after that warning-shot from Jordan, and indeed one of them has a microphone, and is yelling at him to stop. But Michaels has isn?t listening. He approaches the suit with the mic ominously, lifting him into the air from his jacket, then throwing him back against the set. He slumps down in a heap on the metal floor of the stage?and Michaels takes the mic?
Michaels: I?M NOT DONE YET!!
Turning again, he hits an EWA referee in the head with the microphone, then turns back to Scotty Delrae, picking up his chain?AND WRAPPING IT AROUND DELRAE?S THROAT! He?s made a form of choke-chain around the US Champion?s neck, and he attackes the other end to the steel girders that make up the set!!
Carvenelie: Jordan is turning it up a notch here Maura!
Downs: How can you condone this Louis. This is barbaric?look at Delrae! He can barely defend himself. Jordan Michaels is a madman! He?s taken out two officials, one referee and anybody left to stop him is keeping clear for fear of their own safety?
Carvenelie: And now Scotty is chained up by his throat like a dog?how fitting!
Downs: Fitting? FITTING?Carvenelie you?re a sick bastard?and damnit now Michaels has a chair?HEY COME ON, DELRAE CAN?T DEFEND HIMSELF!!
Jordan winds up?AND SWINGS THE CHAIR RIGHT INTO THE SKULL! Delrae had come round just long enough to realise he was defenceless and had no alternative but to take a chair to the head. He goes out like a light again, and the blood coming down his face starts to pour more freely?UNTIL A 2x4 SNAPS OVER THE BACK OF JORDAN?S HEAD!
Downs: IT?S MITCH COLWELL?SCOTTY DELRAE?S COACH IS OUT HERE TO DO THE RIGHT THING!!
Carvenelie: That meddling old bastard?who let him out of the home?
Unfortunately for the gallant Mitch, who rushed from the locker rooms to help his prot�g�, the 2x4 was not massively effective. Jordan staggered forward momentarily?before turning?AND JAMMING THE CHAIR INTO COLWELL?S RIBS! With that he hooks a hands in the pants of Colwell?AND HURLS HIM OFF THE STAGE!!!
The 58 year old Mitch Colwell just went for a hellacious ride from the stage, and one last time, Jordan turns his attention to the KO?d Scotty Delrae, and in particular his battered neck. Opening the chair, he folds it shot as far as possible around the head and throat of the US Champion, who in an ironic twist still has the title belt strapped around his waist?
Backing off a little now, Jordan stomps his foot into the staging, gesturing that it?s time for the SuperKick! A couple of brave referees step in between Michaels and Delrae, their arms outstretched, demanding that he stop right now?BUT JORDAN FLATTENS THEM WITH AS STIFF A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE AS YOU?LL SEE!
Downs: NO MICHAELS!! DAMNIT NO!
Carvenelie: DO IT! THE JACKASS DESERVES IT?YOU THE MAN!
Downs: Referees, officials, the damn-near sixty year old coach Mitch Colwell?and now Jordan is going to snap Scotty?s neck like a freakin? twig!! NOOOO
Maura yells as Jordan makes his final approach?AND SUPERKICKS THE CHAIR ? SNAPPING IT AROUND DELRAE?S NECK!! ?HOLY SH*T? is the chant, as Jordan turns, and raises his arms to the fans. ?Anarchy In The UK? hits, and Jordan turns back to Delrae, spitting onto the US title belt, before sauntering back to the locker room?an arrogant-as-hell look on his face as he leaves behind the mayhem and carnage he created!
Carvenelie: Not only was that great to watch, this has been hugely beneficial to the EWA! Look at this, there are people down everywhere and there isn?t a damn EMT in sight!
Downs: You?re sick?but you are right, we need EMT?s out here, and we need them now. Mitch Colwell is fifty eight, and he got thrown over ten feet off the stage. Jordan is gonna be in for a huge fine for assaulting officials and referees?and we can?t even see Scotty?in fact can he even breathe with that chain around his throat? His neck has to be broken Louis?how are you enjoying this?
Carvenelie: I?m not enjoying this?our EMT?s really are woefully inadequate. We?ve got TLC inside a Cell still to come?you know they?ll be required for that one?and look at this?they?re finally arriving now!
There is a period of silence from the two announcers, save a chuckle from Carvenelie, as they watch the horrific scenes on the stage. EMT?s are at the foot of it fitting a neck-collar to the unconscious Mitch Colwell, whilst the officials and referees that tried in vain to get Jordan away from Scotty are left to help each other to the locker room. At the back of the stage the EMT?s rushing to the aid of Scotty Delrae gently remove the chair around his head, and there are audible gasps from the fans, watching the big screen, as they see the damage done to Delrae?s face. His nose looks to be broken several times, and a tooth is hanging loosely from his lips. His eyes are swelled closed, and both eyebrows split open. Blood is pouring everywhere, as the EMT?s (with the help of a couple of burly looking guys trying to detach the chain from the set?
Downs: I don?t know how much more of this I can watch Louis. I?d like to apologise to our viewers here. They?ve paid to view this show, and they were expecting to see a showdown between Jordan Michaels and Scotty Delrae?
Carvenelie: What are you saying?they got their moneys worth for the whole pay-per-view right there Maura!
Downs: Would you shut your mouth if you can?t be serious about this. I don?t want to speculate on Scotty Delrae?s condition?but my goodness it looks bad for him. Thanks to Jordan Michaels, it?s pretty obvious we won?t be having any US title match here tonight?
Carvenelie: And did you see, he was wearing his street clothes! This was a stroke of genius from the start! He was never going to stoop to Delrae?s pathetic level and actually wrestle the guy! Why would he? He doesn?t need the US title, he doesn?t need to entertain these people by competing in a match. He settled his business, and taught that overhyped rookie a valuable lesson!
Downs: This whole thing was just a disgusting premeditated assassination. I hope Jordan Michaels is damn well fired?press charges Scotty?we?ll be back after these messages?and I guess it?ll be time for our main event?
Carvenelie: Boy oh boy
The show head to a video package for next weeks Tsunami. Then it comes back to the match and all the wrestlers are in the ring.
Downs: Well there you have it. The three competitors in the ring, and just
look at that sight Louis. Malinko, Cage and Angel, all surrounded by over
two tons of steel.
Carvenelie: And look what's hanging from the top there Maura. It's the EWA
Universal title belt. That's what we're here for, that's what this is all
about. Scars And Stripes, Sunday June 29th 2003, and now we're ready for a
triple threat TLC Cell match.
The bell rings, and the crowd pop big time as the three men circle each
other. Their eyes wander from their opponents, to the cell, to the
glistening Universal Championship that hangs enticingly down from the top of
the cell. And it's as Cage eyes his title belt that Hells Angel makes the
first move. Angel steps across the ring and rocks Cage with a big right
hand, then stiffly clotheslines him to the mat. Turning round, he rocks
Malinko with a serious of strong right hands, then whips him to the ropes.
Malinko comes back and takes a kick to the midsection. Now Angel goes to the
ropes, comes back.and misses the attempted knee-lift to the jaw. He spins,
right into a scoop slam from Malinko. Turning his attention to the champion,
he ducks behind Cage and drops him on the mat with a back suplex.
Back to his feet climbs The Great Malinko, and WHAM he walked right into
another clubbing right hand from Hells Angle, which sends him backwards. He
twists onto his side and hits the canvas landing a modified elbow drop on
Cage, who rolls to the side of the ring and clutches his throat in pain.
Malinko gets to his feet and walks to the centre of the ring. His chest
collides with Hells Angel, as the two stare each other dead in the eye. The
flashbulbs are remarkable as both men talk some smack. This is intense as
anything here, and the two look set to go, until from behind comes Christian
Cage! He raises a knee into the kidney's of Malinko, who's weight knocks
Angel out of the ring. Malinko is up again, and he walks straight into an
arm drag from Cage. Going to the second rope now, Cage scores with a flying
clothesline. Mounting Malinko now, he scores with a sequence of hard, hard
right hands. But somebody grabs him by the head and pulls him up. Hells
Angel is back in the match and he pulls Cage up, before hoisting him into
the air into a picture perfect vertical suplex. Dragging him up again, he
lifts him into a second, then scores with a third. Dropping onto his knees
now, he gets right into Cage's face, talking some serious smack, sweat
already pouring from his head.
Downs: Hells Angel has taken charge here, and it's the champion who's found
himself the target of the majority of the offence thus far in the contest
Louis.
Carvenelie: A) I agree with you Maura, B) That's all about to change because
C) Malinko's about to bring the first weapon into this match.he has a chair!
Malinko has a smile on his face as he stands behind Hells Angel, brandishing
the chair ominously and waving the oblivious Angel to his feet. Finally, and
after a hard punch straight to the face of Christian Cage, Angel turns
round.SMACK! And he got tattoo'd with the chair shot. The crowd gasp first
in amazement at the ferocity of the chair shot, but then in awe as Hells
Angel doesn't go down! He staggers backwards, and his eyes adopt a somewhat
faraway expression, but he's definitely still on his feet. Looking a little
less pleased with himself, Malinko winds up for a second.AND CONNECTS AGAIN!
Angel falls backwards into the ropes, but again doesn't go down. He comes
back off the ropes and kicks Malinko. His adversary doesn't drop the chair,
and then jabs him in the midsection. Angel is bent double and Malinko raises
the chair into the air, preparing to bring it down across the spine.
CRACK!!! But Cage is up, and he has a chair of his own!! As Malinko lifted
the chair, he took one smack to the forehead and he falls back, hitting the
mat, still holding the chair above his head. Hells Angel is still bent
double, and Cage stands next to his face, and swings the chair almost life a
golf club, levelling Angel, who also falls to the mat.
There is a decent pop for Cage as he holds the chair in the air, breathing
heavily and looking down at his two dazed opponents on the mat.
Next he places the chair over Angel's midsection, and shoots off the ropes.
Coming back he drops his weight south, splashing the chair and driving it
straight into the chest of his challenger. But his other challenger is up,
and Malinko rolls to the outside, looking under the ring and dragging out
the ladder for the first time!
Downs: And here comes a ladder! And this is the very psychology of a ladder,
or ladder style match as this one is!
Carvenelie: Exactly. There ain't no way Malinko has enough spare time to go
up and get that belt yet, but if he can use that ladder to beat his two
opponents senseless, he can climb that ladder, and he can then become the
new Universal Champion!
Cage looks to whip Angel to the ropes, but HA reverses it.AND MALINKO NAILS
CAGE IN THE SPINE WITH THE LADDER FROM THE OUTSIDE! That looked painful, and
Cage turns.AND SLINGSHOTS INTO A CROSSBODY! He connects with the ladder,
driving it into the chest and face of Malinko!
They're both down on the outside, and Angel picks up the chair, and steps
through the ropes. Standing on the apron he watches as Cage lies on all
fours, hunched over, nursing his hurting ribs, following the crossbody onto
the ladder. Jumping from the apron, Angel gets extra leverage on the chair
shot to the spine, and Cage falls down onto his face again! Holding the
chair above his head.ANGEL BRINGS IT DOWN! He scored with a second shot to
the spine, and now he throws the chair to the floor.
Taunting both his opponents, he takes his time deciding which one he should
attack next. He picks up the ring steps and throws them into the ring, then
pulls up Cage, holding him by the back of the head and throwing him
face-first into the cell.
Turning round to Malinko, he is greeted with a spear, driving his back into
the cell. Malinko is suddenly like an animal. He scores with a quick
succession of punches and kicks to the face and stomach, before dropping to
the floor and monkey flipping Angel. The base of his spine hits the edge of
the ring, before he drops straight south onto his head!
Next Malinko sets the ladder up on the outside, and the excited cries from
the crowd indicate the increased tension in the match from that one move. He
pulls Angel under the ladder, then sticks his head through the rungs, so his
head juts out the other side. Picking up the chair, he scales the opposite
rungs, and pauses at the top, giving everyone in sight the one-finger
salute, before holding the chair under his ass.AND MISSING WITH AN ATTEMPTED
LEG DROP TO THE HEAD! He smacks the ground hard, the chair only worsening
the contact, after hells Angel moved out of the way!
Angel points to the top of the ladder, and whether they like him or not, the
bloodthirsty fans want to see more! They cheer each step Angle takes towards
the top of the ladder!
And as he reaches the top, he doesn't see Christian Cage slide into the
ring, and set up the ring steps near the ropes. As Hells Angel prepares to
jump, inside the ring Cage shoots off the opposite ropes, jumps off the
steps.AND HITS AN INCREDIBLE SOMERSAULT SENTON TO ANGEL!!! Both men hit the
cell, and fall the fifteen feet to the floor.and all three men are down!
Downs: GOOD GOD LOUIS! WHAT IS CAGE DOING?
Carvenelie: He's doing whatever it takes to retain that Universal title. Do
you have any idea how prestigious that title is? The money, the power, and
the perks that come with being the Universal Champion are immeasurable! Of
course he's going to take every chance imaginable to retain the gold!
Downs: You make a good point there Louis. Normally we see Cage with a very
methodical, scientific approach, almost looking to dissect his opponents.
But in this environment, is that even possible?
Carvenelie: In some ways, Maura, I don't think it is. This type of match is
all about letting your manhood hang out, putting it all on the line and hope
you're in the right place at the right time to grab the belt!
Downs: Well right now not one of them is getting that belt, they're all down
on the outside.and The Great Malinko is the only one who is even showing
signs of moving!
And by sign, Maura really did mean faint signs. He uses his arms to drag
himself along the black mats, edging closer to the ring. Pulling the ring
apron up, he crawls closer, and is evidently looking under the ring for
something. He pulls something out, and as the zoomed in camera shot appears
on the big screen, the crowd pop huge! It's a board wrapped in barbed wire,
and Malinko looks out and screams at the people, before turning, pulling up
Christian Cage and rolling him into the ring.
With the barbed wire lying in the middle of the ring, Malinko whips Cage to
the ropes, and as he comes back, gives him a back body drop.RIGHT INTO THE
WIRE!! Small lacerations appear all over Cage's body as he writhes in pain,
getting even more tangled in the wire! Clambering outside the ring
temporarily, Malinko again looks under the ring, and grabs a baseball bat.
He re-enters and wields it menacingly as Cage somehow manages to untangle
himself and struggle to his feet.WHACK!
He just took a shot with the bat right between his eyes.and he is busted
open! The bat opened him up big time, and Malinko roars in triumph now.
Picking up the barbed wire board, he measures Cage.THEN DROPS IT DOWN OVER
HIS FACE! That is sick, and Cage is a bloody mess now. His face has already
turned a deep, ugly red with his blood.BUT ANGEL IS UP!
He's on the top rope with a chair in tow! Malinko turns.and Angel throws the
chair at him! Malinko catches the chair.THEN GETS IT MISSLE DROPKICKED INTO
HIS FACE! Malinko's head shot back sickeningly there, and he is breathing
deeply and wincing with pain. Angel, meanwhile, picks up the chair and opens
it, standing it in the ring. Now he takes the barbed wire board and lies
that on the chair as well. Pulling Malinko up, he pulls him onto his
shoulders.AND DELIVERS THE PARALYSIS, STRAIGHT ONTO THE OPEN CHAIR!!
The chair is now a mutilated wreck of its former self, as Angel starts to
tear the barbed wire off the board.and he wraps it around the baseball bat!
He screams at Malinko to get up again.but gets lifted up from behind! The
bat drops to the floor as Angel is lifted up onto Christian Cage's
shoulders.EVENT HORIZON!
Cage just scored with his finishing move, and leaning over the top rope, he
pulls the ladder into the ring, and sets it up in the middle of it. Slowly
he starts to climb, and judging by the crowd chanting his name, he has been
adopted as the sentimental favourite in this match! Blood is pouring down
his face and onto his chest (which is punctured in it's own right after the
slam onto the barbed wire), but slowly he edges closer and closer to the
Universal title belt! Loud 'LET'S GO CAGE' chants erupt from the crowd.and
he's just a rung away from retaining the belt! He reaches up.AND GETS NAILED
IN THE SPINE WITH THE BARBED WIRE WRAPPED BAT! The Great Malinko is up and
he laughs sadistically as he scores with three or four hard barbed wire
shots, tearing Cage's back apart. Now Malinko climbs up the other side of
the ladder. Grabbing Cage's head, he lifts him into the air.AND DELIVERS AN
AMAZING SUPERPLEX FROM THE TOP OF THE LADDER!!
'HOLY SH*T' is what the crowd are chanting now, and Cage and Malinko aren't
moving! Hells Angel is, and this could be his chance to win the match.but he
's going to the outside! The belt is his for the taking, but he just rolled
to the outside and.he just dragged out three tables!
Downs: This is a huge mistake from Hells Angel. Does he want to be the
Universal Champion or does he want to play with furniture?
Carvenelie: We don't agree too often Maura, but I agree right here. Angel
what are you doing? You could regain your Universal title.forget about the
tables.get the belt!
But Angel appears to have forgotten all about the Universal title hanging
from the roof of the cell. He sets a table up on the outside, then shoves
the other two back in. He sets one up in the corner of the ring.then sets
another up on top of it! The crowd don't like the look of this one little
bit, and Angel turns his attention to his two potential victims on the
canvas. He looks from one to the other.and the crowd cheer as he pulls up
Malinko, not Cage!
Dragging the ladder away somewhat, he heaves Malinko onto his shoulders, and
displaying phenomenal strength.he starts to climb the ladder! The crowd have
to applaud the unbelievable power of Hells Angel, and as he reaches the top
of the ladder, he lets out a huge sigh, then points aggressively at the
tables! With one more look around.HE HITS THE LIVING NIGHTMARE.FROM THE TOP
OF THE LADDER.THROUGH TWO TABLES!!!
Downs: THAT WAS ONE OF THE MOST INSANE THINGS I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE
LIFE!
Carvenelie: But was it worth it? How can Hells Angel value hitting that high
spot over winning back the Universal title? Christian Cage defeated him for
that belt, and he could've just won it back right there.but he chose
throwing Malinko through those tables over it!
Downs: BUT LOUIS.LOOK AT THE BLOODY CHRISTIAN CAGE.THIS IS HIS CHANCE!
There is a pool of blood where Cage had been lying in the ring, and he has
to wipe the blood from his eyes as he looks up at the belt. 'GET THE BELT'
is the new chant from the fans, and Cage appears to be ready to adhere to
their demands. He pulls the ladder into the middle of the ring, and slowly
starts to climb!
For the second time in the match he is inching closer and closer to the
gold.and the crowd's cheering gets louder and louder as he goes up rung by
rung. Finally he can touch the gold.AS THE LADDER IS REMOVED FROM UNDER HIM!
Somehow Hells Angel is up, and he just moved the ladder.BUT CAGE ISN'T
COMING DOWN! He has his fingers locked in the chainlink - he's hanging from
the roof of the cell!
The flashbulbs are almost blinding now as Cage hangs from the top of the
cell. He's less than a metre away from the belt, and he starts to traverse
the cell! Angel watches from the canvas in horror as the champion starts to
swing vertically, getting closer and closer to the gold!
He makes a split-second decision, and sets the ladder up again, climbing it
at top speed. He reaches out and grabs the left angle of Cage.AS CAGE
TOUCHES THE BELT!! He's gripping the belt for all it's worth.AS ANGEL SLAPS
ON THE ANGEL LOCK!
Carvenelie: THE ANGEL LOCK.TWENTY FEET IN THE AIR AND IT'S THE ANGEL LOCK!!
Downs: I DON'T BELIEVE THIS LOUIS!!
Carvenelie: AND LOOK AT MALINKO!!
Malinko is outside the ring, and he tears the door off the cell! He's lost
it and he frantically slides into the ring.AND WHACKS CAGE RIGHT IN THE FACE
WITH THE DOOR OF THE CELL! But Cage is refusing to let go of the belt!!
Malinko goes to the outside again and looks under the ring, throwing in a
trash can, a small brown package and a second ladder!
Downs: Louis.is that.no way.it can't be.IT IS! It's C4 explosives!
Carvenelie: And he just put them in that trashcan!
As Cage screams in pain from the Angel Lock, refusing to let go of the belt,
Malinko sets up a second ladder, the other side of Cage, and grabs a chair,
climbing fast. He straddles the top, and swings the chair.AND CONNECTS AGAIN
WITH CAGE'S BLOODY FACE! That's the last straw for Cage, who lets go of the
belt, and swings towards Angel's ladder.AS HE LIFTS HIS OTHER
LEG.HURRICANRANA.OOOH MYYY GOOOOOD!!!
BOOOOOM!!!
Downs: HELLS ANGEL.HELLS ANGEL.HELLS ANGEL!!!
Carvenelie: HE JUST GOT BLOWN TO HELL.HOLY SH*T MAURA.THAT WAS
UNBELIEVABLE!!!
Downs: LOOK AT CAGE, HE'S HANGING UPSIDE DOWN FROM THAT LADDER.AND MALINKO
JUST STEPPED ACROSS!
The Great Malinko steps across, one leg either side of Cage's body. They're
about halfway up the ladder, and dropping the chair to the mat, Malinko
hooks Cage up.AND DROPS HIM WITH A PILEDRIVER!
Cage's neck just got compressed like hell, and all three men are down. Hells
Angel has rolled to the outside, and EMT's are pouring through the vacant
doorframe to give him medical attention. Pretty soon they have him on a
stretcher and are stretchering him away from the ring towards the locker
room and a waiting ambulance, as between two ladders, and wild applause from
the fans, Christian Cage and The Great Malinko lie, eyes flickering open and
breathing heavily. Cage opens his mouth to breathe, and blood trickles into
his mouth, causing him to cough and splutter.
Downs: What more can these men to their bodies by Jimini? They've been blow
up, busted open, thrown through tables and come from ladders.
Carvenelie: What an unbelievable match, and listen to the reaction of the
fans as these two warriors somehow fight their way to their feet!
The two are definitely the worse for wear by this point, and they exchange
weary looking right hands, before Malinko shoots himself off the ropes, and
comes back, hitting a shoulder block which knocks Cage flat on his back.
Lifting Cage to his feet, he carries him over to the corner, before placing
him onto the top rope. Exiting the ring and standing on the apron, he
staggers towards the corner, and mounts the turnbuckles behind Cage.putting
him the Make A Wish on the top rope!! Cage screams in pain and starts to tap
against Malinko's arm for all he's worth.but of course it doesn't matter how
long he submits for, you win by grabbing the belt.
And finally Malinko releases the hold, letting Cage fall on his face,
leaving a bloody print on the mat as Malinko stands at the top, taunting the
fans for all they're worth!
Downs: I'd like to call this arrogant, but after the war we've witnessed,
after the Living Nightmare from the ladder through two tables.how can one
argue he doesn't' deserve to taunt?
Carvenelie: My sentiments exactly Maura.
Downs: BUT CAGE IS UP.OH MY GOD!!
Cage is up, and he steps up onto the top ropes, heaving Malinko onto his
shoulders.EVENT HORIZON.TO THE OUTSIDE.THROUGH THE TABLE!!! The crowd are in
absolute shock, as both men lie in the wreckage of the tables, twitching and
writhing in agony. Cage is a bloody mess, and that was as wreckless as
anything considering his physical well-being. He can barely walk after being
in the Angel Lock for a number of minutes.but somehow he crawls to his feet!
The crowd are going nuts as he crawls into the ring.and rung by rung climbs
the ladder.He reaches up.rung by rung.AND HE'S DONE IT!!!
Ring Announcer: HERE IS YOUR WINNER.AND STILL EWA UNIVERSAL
CHAMPION.CHRISTIAAAAAN CAAAAAGE!!!
Downs: What a match.what a match.WHAT A MATCH!
Having won the match, Cage goes out like a light. The adrenaline surging
through his body starts to drain away, and he collapses from the ladder,
crashing onto the ground hard, and not moving. An EWA official raises his
limp arm, and drapes the Universal title belt around his waist as his music
plays.and the fans stand to applaud.
Downs: That was a hell of a match, and for what a great way to kick off EWA
Version 2.0's ppv history.what a night!
Carvenelie: And we're leaving Scars And Stripes with one thing known for
certain - Christian Cage is still EWA Universal Champion.good night
everybody!
