Thurman Skydive presents...
EWA Tuesday Night Tsunami
Pepsi Arena, Albany NY
Tuesday July 15th 2003

Butcher Arrives

Before the opening credits, we get a shot of the parking lot. A car pulls up at a high rate of speed, and out steps The Butcher. He looks in an absolute rage as he slams the door of his car behind him. As he storms off towards the arena, a parking lot attendant comes into shot and yells after him...

Attendant: Excuse me...excuse me sir...HEY...YOU CAN'T LEAVE THAT THERE!!!

It looks for a second like Butcher hasn't heard, and has entered the arena, leaving the attendant on his own, but he re-emerges...and punches the attendant square in the face! The slightly built parking lot worker goes out like a light, but The Butcher isn't done! He hauls the man up by his luminescent jacket...AND SMASHES HIS HEAD THROUGH THE CAR WINDOW!

Downs: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God...The Butcher has arrived!
Carvanelie: And he looks pissed!

(*Cue opening title credits*)

'Hang On' - Glen, the brand spanking new theme song for EWA Tsunami thumps through the arena, and culminates in a dazzling explosion of pyro, before the lights come up and the crowd pops huge for the start of another EWA broadcast. The camera, as usual, shoots through the arena, showing numerous different signs, including a wonderfully drawn set of signs depicting the four men in the US title tournament, beginning later in the evening. Finally the cameras pan down to the commentators...

Downs: We are in Albany, New York's state capital, and it's a night where championship gold fuels the anger of all concerned! Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Week 2 of the Thurman Skydive era...welcome to EWA's Tuesday Night Tsunami!
Carvanelie: You said it all right there, 'welcome to Week 2 of the Thurman Skydive era'...you can only imagine what wreckless endangerment of our talent the sadistic headcase that is Thurman Skydive, has in store for us tonight!
Downs: You're with Maura Downs and Louis Carvanelie at ringside...and Louis it looks like you won't have long to wait!

CEO

As Downs and Carvanelie trail away, Fozzy's 'The Prisoner' starts to play loudly across the arena, and there's a huge pop from his home-state, as out walks the new CEO of the EWA - Thurman Skydive!
He walks down the aisle, smiling broadly and slapping the hands of the fans stretching into the aisleway, then steps through the ropes, going to the corner and climbing to the second turnbuckle to salute the fans...

Downs: And there he is, back in the state of New York, Thurman Skydive is here tonight, and you can only wonder what's on his mind...
Carvanelie: I hate this guy, the only thing on his mind is thinking up new ways of shortening the careers of the wrestlers here in the EWA...go back to the minor leagues in the Mid-West, Skydive!
Downs: Well he's not in the minor leagues, and he's not in the Mid-West...he's in the Pepsi Arena in Albany, and apparently he's going to address the people!
Carvanelie: Well what else was he going to do...host a golf tournament? It's not like he wrestles anymore, he already ruined his own career!

Skydive: So tell me Albany...do we feel GOOD TONIGHT?? (obligatory pop)...Well you should do, because the EWA is in town, and as of last week, when the EWA is in town, it means New York state's own THURMAN SKYDIVE is in town!!

Carvanelie (barely audible over the deafening cheap pop): Look at him...now he's sucking up! Thurman Skydive is a disgrace Maura!
Downs: Well you give the man a chance? This is only his second week on the job, and I thought he did great last week!
Carvanelie: Last week he suspended Jordan Michaels!
Downs: That's my point...

Skydive: And right now, Thurman Skydive only has one thing on his mind, and that's the identity of the man that assaulted The Great Malinko last week after his match with Cage...Now I know you guys don't like Malinko, and I know you guys like Christian Cage...but I can't have some guy in a mask randomly coming out into EWA shows and assaulting the talent. That's exactly the kind of thing Mike Victory brought me into this place to stamp out!
And with that in mind, right here, right now in Albany, I'd like to publically call out the man in the mask. I have no idea who you are mister, I have no idea where you came from, or where you went...but I have it on good authority that you're backstage tonight, and as the CEO I'm ORDERING you to get your ass out here right now!

Downs: Well Thurman Skydive has called out the man in the mask, Louis!
Carvanelie: Thank you Maura, I do have ears, and may I say this is the first smart move Skydive has made since he took office. The masked man had no business in the EWA, and even less business assaulting The Great Malinko after a hard-fought victory last week!
Downs: You're right there, what a great match it was last week. Malinko and Cage gutted it out, still suffering from the injuries sustained in the TLC Cell Match at Scars And Stripes...
Carvanelie: Yadda yadda yadda...now is the masked guy ever going to come out here or what?

Thurman has lowered his microphone, and is pacing the ring, awaiting the arrival of the masked man...and pretty soon the crowd start getting impatient - clapping their hands and demanding the masked man show himself. Skydive points to the crowd...as finally 'This Is The New Shit' - Marilyn Manson starts to play!

Downs: But...I don't understand...that's Acheston's music!
Carvanelie: And he ain't coming alone!
Downs: Well there you see Cyril Acheston, along with Hells Angel and Tornado...
Carvanelie: It's Last Vengeance Maura!
Downs: Well whatever...how are all three of them the masked attackers?

Skydive: So is this like a confession?

Hells Angel: No Skydive...we're not out here to deal with some masked guy beating up Malinko. As far as Last Vengeance is concerned, all that guy did was save us a job. Malinko is just another guy between Last Vengeance and the top of the EWA...and that's where we come to you...

Skydive: Oh that's where you come to me is it huh? Well what can I do for you Angel? What's made you and your boys there so curious about Thurman Skydive that, rather than come see me in the confines of my office, you thought you'd interrupt me when I have business clearly NOT involving you guys?

Acheston: You're the CEO around here right?

Skydive: Duuuh...what's your point. Don't you guys have matches to prepare for rather than coming out and wasting mine and everybody elses time? Especially you Tornado, your match is up next as I recall...

Tornado: Shut your wiseguy mouth and listen to what we have to say Skydive...it'll save you some real problems...

Hells Angel: So it goes like this, you're the CEO, but what you see before you...WE ARE THE DOMINANT FORCE HERE IN THE EWA! Last Vengeance has arrived, and there ain't a damn thing that's gonna stop us going right through this company - not even you!
It starts tonight with Tornado taking apart some rookie with a dumb name, me going 1-0 ahead and obliterating Smoke...and then Cyril destroying your Universal Champion in the Main Event...

Skydive: Wow...I mean. I know I'm the CEO but I mean...guys! I know I'm supposed to have all these powers, such as the power to fire your asses on the spot...but now you've come out here with your tough manly voices and your neat new looks, and your cool name, why suddenly I realise, yes, despite me being the CEO...LAST VENGEANCE has the power!

Carvanelie: Wow...Thurman Skydive's finally getting it!
Downs: Urrrm Louis...this is just a hunch, but I think Mr Skydive may have been being sarcastic there...
Carvanelie: You keep your hunches to yourself lady...I reckon it's just that time of the month for you...
Downs: You sexist little fu...

Skydive (becoming serious): Who the hell do you three think you are? Don't you get it? I don't give a f*ck if you're Last Vengeance or Last Night Of The Proms, you do not come out here and interrupt me. As far as the EWA is concerned...the reason I'm here is because people like you have tried to establish dominance in this company...and you've almost run it into the ground.
Don't get me wrong, I know damn well you're all as talented as it gets. But if you think for a solitary second you're going to come out here and force me around, then I will step your asses into line so fast you won't know what's hit you...

Acheston (in a menacing tone): Oh is that a fact??

At that point Acheston drops the mic Last Vengeance had been using, and all three men start advancing on the ring slowly. Tornado and Hells Angel pull on fighting gloves, and look at the CEO with evil smirks on their faces...but as they climb onto the apron, and stare down Thurman Skydive, he isn't backing up an inch!

Downs: I don't like the look of this one bit, Louis! Thurman Skydive told Last Vengeance where to stick it and now they're on the damn ring apron...it's three-on-one for crying out loud!
Carvanelie: I love it...
Downs: HEY WAIT A MINUTE!!

As the three members of Last Vengeance look set to step into the ring and assault Skydive, three men charge down the ramp! It's Golden Samone, Smoke and the Universal Champion, Christian Cage!
Samone reaches the ring first, and yanks Tornado off the apron, meeting him with a flurry of right hands. Next it's Smoke, and he grabs Hells Angel's arm and wrenches him off the apron, his back landing hard on the mat. Cage takes his time with Acheston, stepping between his legs...AND DROPPING HIM OFF THE APRON WITH A SITOUT POWERBOMB!

Downs: This is out of control! We're having three of our scheduled match-ups here tonight right here right now...and this is just a brawl!
Carvanelie: A brawl with criminal intent...but Maura how tough are the guys in Last Vengeance...they're fighting back!

The six men brawl up the ramp and through the curtain, the fight spilling backstage, leaving Skydive in the ring, shaking his head...

Skydive: Whatever the hell that was about, I don't really give a rats ass. I go back to my point...would the masked attacker of The Great Malinko get his damn carcass out here right now!

Again attention is turned to the stage, as Eminem's 'Kill You' slams through the arena...

Downs: The Butcher? Now I can guarantee he wasn't the masked man. With the greatest of respect to the former BCW Heavyweight Champion, there's a few physical differences!
Carvanelie: Hey watch your mouth there Maura. You know the state of mind he's in right now. He's got Davlin McCaine being a cocky son of a b*tch about him each and every week, he's got the marathon insanity of the US Title Tournament...
Downs: None of which concerns Thurman Skydive, The Great Malinko or the masked individual who beat him up last week!

Butcher by this point is out on the stage, but he isn't stopping there! He walks down the ramp and into the ring, standing nose-to-nose with the CEO and Hardcore Legend, Thurman Skydive! In an amazing show of disrespect, he reaches down and pulls Thurman's microphone out of his hands...

Butcher: Now I'm not out here for some masked guy, I'm not out here for Malinko. I'm out here for one reason, and I'm in your face right now, because you're the only man who can give me what I want!
You see Skydive, you were in the hWo. You know Davlin McCaine...and you're the only man who can give him to me here tonight. I heard he's going to be here in person tonight...so damnit you will give him to me one-on-one in Albany tonight, or I will destroy you in front of your fellow New York assholes!

Skydive looks livid. His face quivers with rage, but he maintains his composure, and reaches down, snatching the microphone from Butcher as a deafening 'BUTCHER SUCKS' chant breaks out...

Skydive (quietly and measuredly): I don't know who the hell you think you are boy, but I strongly suggest you get the f*ck out of my face. Fact is, yeah, I heard that too. I also heard a rumour that Davlin McCaine will be here live and in person tonight. But you know what else? I haven't seen him here tonight, nor have I heard from him to confirm his appearance.
You have a match with J tonight. I strongly suggest you save your strength for...

But he doesn't get to finish his sentence, as Butcher heaves him onto his shoulders...AND DROPS HIM WITH THE BUTCHER'S BLADE! The Albany crowd are in shock as Butcher leaves the CEO of the EWA laid out in the ring. He raises a middle finger to the crowd, then climbs out of the ring and storms up the ramp as 'Kill You' plays again!

Downs: What the hell is wrong with The Butcher, Louis? He shows up here and assaults one of the arena staff. Now he's just laid out the CEO...why has Butcher gone so psychotic over the last weeks?
Carvanelie: I'm telling you, it's Davlin McCaine. He's gotten under Butcher's skin once too often, and he's finally snapped!
Downs: And oh boy, Skydive does not look pleased!

The show fades to commercials with shots of Thurman as he sits on the mat, staring up the ramp looking furious...

Tornado vs Golden Samone

Downs: Welcome back to Tsunami everybody, and my word that was as explosive a start to a show as we could ever expect to see. Last week we kicked things off with Skydive's appointment and Michaels' suspension...now it's Last Vengeance and The Butcher getting in the face of the new CEO making the headlines!
Carvanelie: You know Thurman, if you find the job too tough for you...you could always quit!
Downs: Thurman Skydive has never quit at anything in his life...he'll be damned if he quits this now!
Carvanelie: He quit wrestling didn't he?
Downs: Would you shut your mouth? Anyway...Here is our opening match-up, Tornado goes one on one with Golden Samone, the new EWA prospect.

Louis Carvenalie: Prospect my ass, Tornado is going to kill this guy!

Maura Downs: Shut up Louis, and just watch the damn match.

'Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 455 lbs, hailing from North Carolina, he is a member of Last Vengeance... TOOOOOOOOORNADO!' 'The Worlds Greatest' hits the PA system and Tornado runs down the ramp and slides into the ring as fireworks rain down from the titantron. Tornado looks ready for the match, as he anxiously awaits the new wrestler. 'Smoke on the Water' now hits the PA system as Tornados theme music dies down, and Tornado keeps his eye on the entrance ramp, waiting for his first look at his opponent. Crowd members are on their feet, waiting for the same man. Suddenly, an eruption of noise echoes from around the ring, and its Golden Samone sitting atop the top turnbuckle. Tornado looks confused, turning around and is hit straight in the face with a missile dropkick.

Maura Downs: Woah, would you look at that. Golden Samone is looking to get an early advantage on Tornado!

Louis Carvanelie: Yeah, but he didn't knock him down did he now! He is just gonna piss him off more!

Tornado is knocked back into the ropes as Samone springs up on his feet, just as Tornado swings for him, but Samone ducks under, springs off the ropes and knocks Tornado to the opposite ropes with a flying forearm. Tornado hangs on the top rope, and Samone whips him to the ropes, and follows with a devastating dropkick, surprising the big man. Samone impressive at the beginning here, and Tornado looks irate!

Maura Downs: Look at Tornado! He doesn't look too happy with the way this match is going now does he?

Louis Carvanelie: Would you if you were being screwed around with!! This guy isn't wrestling, he's prancing about like a fool!

Maura Downs: Oh shut up for once, and enjoy the damn match!

Tornado is getting angry and he lunges at Samone who stands in the corner, but Samone ducks and lays three big punches on the big man, and ducks yet another attempt by Tornado, and droptoe holds him to the mat. Samone dives off one side of the ring, to the other, and lays a big dropkick on the back of Tornados head. Samone puts his hands up, and yells for his finisher.

Maura Downs: No, it can't be. Surely he couldn't put away Tornado this early!?

Tornado stumbles up, and Samone kicks him in the gut, looks for the Gold Bricker, but Tornado counters, finally gaining some offence on the new EWA wrestler, taking him down with a devastating clothsline. Tornado, looking extremely angry at Samone for his surprising offence early in the match, picks him up by his neck and throws him into the corner. SLAP!! The sound of Tornados fist coming down on Samone elicits a huge WOOOO from the crowd, and Tornado gets a smirk on his face. He turns to the crowd, and then chops Samone again, who holds his chest in pain, swelling blisters appearing where the big hand of Tornado has collided with his chest. Tornado laughs and lifts Samone onto the top rope, and chops his chest again, causing Samone to fall back awkwardly on his back on the turnbuckle, springing back into Tornados face where he recieves a vicous right hand, knocking him over the top rope and crashing to the floor below.

Louis Carvanelie: See, Samone is going to pay now for disrespecting a REAL EWA superstar!

Maura Downs: What are you talking about Louis!?

Tornado plays to the crowd, raising his hands, pointing down at Samone and laughing. Boos surround him, as the crowd plays right into his games. Tornado looks to step over the top rope, but the referee gets right in his face, telling him to get back in the ring. Tornado shoves the ref, who falls to the mat. Tornado drops to the mat on the outside and looms over Samone, who is stuggling to get to his feet. Samone grabs a hold of Tornado and tries to bring himself back on his feet, and Tornado grabs his head laughing, dragging him up, off his feet so he looks eye to eye with Samone. Tornado shoves Samone back in the ring, and climbs in after him. Samone grabs the ropes and gets to his feet as Tornado stalks him in the ring. Tornado grabs Samone, signals for the Tornado Rider, and shoves Samone between his legs. The ref gets in Tornados face again, and gets another shove for his troubles, and as he's distracted, Samone takes advantage with a low blow, sending Tornado reeling. Tornado staggers back and Samone manages to DDT Tornado, finally bringing Tornado down to the mat. Amazingly, his cover is the first of the match, and Tornado kicks out at 2. Samone stomps on Tornado a few times, as Tornado tries to get to his feet. Samone again looks for the Gold Bricker, but again Tornado counters, but this time he throws Samone back into the referee who gets knocked over. Samone gets to his feet, almost exactly as the ref does, and Tornado looks to splash Samone in the corner, but the ref stumbles in the way, and Tornado splashes both men. Samone comes out from the corner and TORNADO RIDE!! Tornado goes for the cover... 1,2... 3... but no, the ref is knocked out. Tornado gets to his feet, outraged. He stomps his feet on the ground, annoyed that he hasn't picked up the win.

Louis Carvanelie: This is stupid. Tornado has this match won, but the referees still down.

Maura Downs: Wha- What the hell? What's this!!?

It's obvious what Maura is shouting about as Butcher has slid into the ring. Tornado is facing the opposite way and when he turns to face Butcher, BUTCHERS BLADE!!

Maura Downs: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ABOUT!? TORNADO IS DOWN, SAMONE IS DOWN, THE REF IS DOWN!! WHAT'S BUTCHER DOING BACK IN THE RING!?

Butcher lifts Tornado up, and No! BUTCHERS BLADE AGAIN!! Butcher smiles sickly, a twisted look appearing on his face. He looks down at Tornado, then at Samone, who is getting to his feet, slowly but surely. Butcher lifts him up, YET ANOTHER BUTCHERS BLADE!! Then he stands over the referee, lifts him up over his head, and throws him over the top rope, where he horribly collides on the floor. The crowd are booing loudly, making a helluva lot of noise at this unexpected interference by Butcher. Butcher slides out of the ring as EMTs rush the ring, a few drag Samone out and help him out back, while another couple are attending to Tornado. Butcher grabs a chair, and slides it in the ring. A brave EMT grabs the chair, telling Butcher, pleading with him to do no more damage. Butcher yanks it from his grasp, and jams it in his ribs, and the EMT is knocked out of the ring. The other EMT, frightened by Butchers further threats, jumps out of the ring, leaving Butcher and Tornado in the ring. Butcher brings down the chair across Tornados back! CRACK!! And again across his legs! CRACK!! Then again, this time, the most vicous of shots, rings through the arena, across the skull of Tornado!! Blood pours from Tornado!!

Louis Carvanelie: This is great! Butcher has snapped!!

Maura Downs: GREAT!!? GREAT!!??

Louis Carvanelie: Glad you agree with me!

Maura Downs: GREAT!!? What are you talking about!? Butcher has destroyed Tornado, he's attacked Samone, the referee and EMTs. How the hell is this great?

'Kill you' hits the PA system and Butcher looks down at the carnage he has caused, a vicous, eerie smirk across his face. Butcher climbs out of the ring, snatches a microphone, and then climbs back into the ring. Meanwhile, EMTs have dragged Tornados body to the outside, where they place him on a stretcher and leave the ring.

The Butcher: No doubt the question on everybodies mind is going to be, Why? Why did I just attack Samone, why did I just attack Tornado, and why did I attack EMTs and the referee!? Why!? I'll tell you why!! It's simple, it is because... I... CAN!!! (The crowd boo loudly at this, but Butcher ignores it) Oh shut the hell up!! (More boos, this time louder) What do you people know about anything!!? Every single one of you, look at you all, jealous, bitter because I'm here, in this ring, making a name for myself, doing what I do best, while you people sit on your fat asses and do f**k all!! (Jeers and boos fill the arena, and a 'Butcher Sucks' chant fills the arena!) Now, I know a lot of people in the back want a shot at me, want to beat the hell out of me, and most actually think they can. I can reel off a list, but I'm not going to. You see what happened to Tornado, that was nothing! Absolutely nothing! I can do that whenever, wherever, to whoever!! You cross the Butcher, you get beaten the worst you have ever got beaten before, and if you underestimate me, you will be proven wrong, and will be crushed. People say I'm insane, that I have lost it, but I'm the most sane person in this entire building. You want to see what I'm truly capable of, you want to see why I'm the greatest wrestler that will ever live? You want me to prove you all wrong, AGAIN!! Watch me, as I face J next, in the Semi-Final of the US Championship Tournament. Watch me as I beat Js ass into the mat so bad he won't be able to make it to the second match next week...and then...I'M COMING FOR YOU DAVLIN!! Watch closely and learn from your mistakes. Watch very, very close... And know this one thing... THE BLOOD... IS ON... YOUR HAAAAANDS!

'Kill You' plays again, and the arena rafters are rattled by the sound of boos as for the second time in less than 20 minutes, Butcher is walking back up the ramp having left chaos behind him in the centre of the ring!

Downs: This is unbelievable! The Butcher assaults Skydive for refusing to co-operate in his attempts to hunt down Davlin McCaine...and now he's come out here and assaulted three people for absolutely no reason!
Carvanelie: Well you saw during the week how people are questioning his sanity. Seriously Maura, the guy has completely lost it. He's not all there in the head...and you know what? I think it's great!
Downs: He assaulted Thurman earlier, you'd think it was great even if it was your mother!

Pain Express

[The screen fades to the outside of the Pepsi Arena. Its very quiet outside since everybody is inside watching Tsunami. Beside the backstage entrance there is a poster for tonight's EWA Tsunami. The poster has all the matches posted on it. The poster seems slightly torn and is fluttering slightly in the breeze. As it continues to flutter somebody walks up to it and yanks it off the wall. The man is wearing a dark blue sleeveless T-shirt with the word "Painoholics" on the front in yellow. On the back of the t-shirt were the words "King of the Gimmick Matches" in yellow outlining. The man is also wearing a pair of cut-off blue jean shorts along with a yellow and dark blue knee brace on his left knee. The man just smirks as he looks at the poster.]

???: Well, well, well. Look at what we have here. A couple of old faces from the past. I guess as time moves on it still goes back to the beginning. The Great Malinko is still looking to reach the top. A man with the last name of Cage is a World Champion. I wonder if he knows Bret? Of course I still see some HWO guys around. Typical, they're always around trying to mooch off anybody they can since Keller drove their promotion into the ground.

[The man crumples up the poster and throws it on the ground.]

???: The more I look at how wrestling is today the more I think of myself as a relic out of time. Everything passes through me and over me, but it never changes me. I'm still the same man I was eight years ago when I started wrestling. Its just that now people expect so much from me. However, no matter how much they expect of me I will always expect more of myself. Pain never changes. It never dies. It never fades away. It's just forgotten . . put on a shelf if you will. Well its back now and its ready to terminate some people.

[With that the man walks inside. Once inside he's stopped by a security guard.]

Security Guard: Can I help you with something sir?

???: Yeah, could you step aside and let me pass. I need to go speak to the CEO about a job.

Security Guard: Is he expecting you?

???: Of course he is, he called me to ask me to come here.

[The security guard talks into his walkie talkie and then waits for a reply.]

Security Guard: My apologies sir...he was attacked by one of the wrestlers a little earlier and I wondered whether he'd be up to meeting with you. Could you tell me your name? Mr. Skydive's secretary would like to know who you are so she can make appropriate arrangements.

???: Sure, no sweat. Just tell her Pain Express is here. I'll wait a little while if I have to, but I can't wait around all night.

Security Guard: Ok sir. Just one moment.

[The guard talks back into his walkie talkie for a bit and then puts it down.]

Security Guard: Could you walk this way with me sir. Mr. Skydive would like to talk with you immediately.

Pain Express: Sure, I always like it when a man is punctual.

[With that Pain Express walks off with the security guard.]

Downs: Pain Express, the Indiana Terminator? He's here tonight!?!?
Carvanelie: And did you hear what he said? Thurman called him and asked him to come...Is Skydive determined to ruin the lives of every superstar on this roster?
Downs: Come on Louis...I know he's a big talent, but there's no way one man can bring down an entire company!
Carvanelie: But bringing Pain Express in just proves my point. He's the 'king of the gimmick matches' isn't he? He's made a damn name for himself in sick, twisted, insane matches, and beaten the sh*t out of his own body in the process, just like Skydive...
Downs: I'm starting to think you're just paranoid. Anyway, do you know what it's time for now?
Carvanelie: Yes, but you're searching for a link so you're going to say it whether I do or I don't know...
Downs: Up next it's the start of Thurman Skydive's United States Championship Tournament! Best of three match series semi-finals start tonight, and up next it's the former Universal Champion, Hells Angel taking on the impressive young star, Smoke!

Except it's not. We go backstage before going to the ring...

Showcase Superstar...He's Ba-aaack

As we fade back from the commercials, gasps can be heard throughout the arena as they watch backstage on the large TV screen the sight of a former EWA great once again parading the hallowed corridoors of EWA. With a spring in his step and a purposeful expression to match, the one and only 'Showcase Superstar' Layton Matthews returns to EWA screens once again dressed in a pair of smart black trousers, a white shirt with sleeves rolled up and a classy rolex watch on his arm. All that was missing from this picture was the gold strap, which appeared on his arm as a constant sight to behold.

Marching through the small collection of crew members backstage, there were cries and confused looks all around; nevertheless though Layton continued to march backstage not once being distracted despite the obvious pleas from all sides. Upon turning yet another corner in the distance J stood leant up against the corridoor walls with a typically smug look upon his face. As Layton walked by, J looked up and gave a dissaproving look, but before anything else was said or done Layton turned round and grabbed him by his throat before tossing him into the opposing brick wall. Screams could be heard as the cry was for security to break up the battle backstage, but Layton with a white streak in his eyes carried on regardless thrusting his knee over and over again into the lower body of J as the blood from his previously injured nose spilt across his face.

"Did I ask you to look?" Layton screamed forcing J's head back against the wall. "Did I?" Layton screamed once more as he smashed Laytons head once again into the concrete.

"Mr Matthews" was the cry from down the end of the corridoor from where security were rushing to ensure peace was reached in the near future.

"Mr Matthews nothing" Layton said turning toward the security in digust, turning to his side Layton spotted a fire extinguisher and much to the guards horrer Layton then proceeded to force the extinguisher with great force into the ribs of J leaving him gasping for breath. Layton threw the extinguisher to one side and smirked, "now boys did you want something or have I answered your question?"

The security team were speechless at this point, turning to one another they knew not what to do nor say. Layton turned away once more and simply pushed his way through the crowd on hand returning to his previous mission; whatever that mission was nobody knew.

Downs: Oh my God! First Pain Express, then Layton Matthews...and wow did he do a number on J or what there Louis?
Carvanelie: What the hell was that all about? That cretin! Doesn't he realise J's in the US Title Tournament? He's gotta face an absolute psychopath in The Butcher later tonight!
Downs: Well if he can even do it all after that attack, he'll have to do it at a disadvantage. And speaking of the US title tournament, this time surely, we must be going to ringside for Smoke against Hells Angel!

US Title Tournament Semi-Final Match
Smoke vs Hells Angel

The sounds of Spineshank's 'Can't Be Fixed' are pounding through the arena as Hells Angel climbs into the ring. He waves his arms around, loosening up before pulling off his 'Last Vengeance' T-shirt and throwing it into the crowd. Turning now he beckons up the ramp and awaits the arrival of his opponent in the first US Championship semi-final!

Downs: And there you see the ever-impressive Hells Angel. What a veteran this man is now. He's been a success wherever he's been, and with this tournament he is no doubt looking to add yet another title to his expansive resume!
Carvanelie: Finally you're giving a deserving guy his props. Hells Angel is a huge star in the EWA, and I don't think it's a matter of 'if' he wins the US Title at the pay-per-view on August 18th...it's a case of when!
Downs: But mentally he can't be in top shape right now. Myself and Louis have been hearing through our headsets that Tornado has been rushed to hospital. Any concerns he may have for his stablemate must be wiped out of mind for now...because he already has more than enough to deal with right now...

DMX's 'Ruff Ryder Anthem' hits the PA system, and there's a decent pop for the man that has to be considered an underdog in this match...and he isn't wasting any time! He sprints down the aisle and into the ring, going through Angel's legs to the ropes...then flying off with a big clothesline!
The crowd pop big for that, and start chanting his name as he crouches, waiting for Angel to get to his feet again. Up climbs the former Universal Champion...and he walks straight into a second big clothesline from the impressive youngster. Angel climbs to his feet for a third time, straight into a volley of right hands which force him into the corner.

Smoke mounts the turnbuckles, and raises his fist for the crowd to count along as he scores with a series of ten ferocious fists to the forehead. Applauding the crowd, he looks down at Angel, then rolls back, attempting a monkey flip...and he's successful!
There's resounding applause for the opening flurry of offense from Smoke, and now once again he awaits Hells Angel's getting up. He stands poised, and scores with a dropkick, which rocks Angel backwards. Next Smoke catapults himself off the second rope, and hits a flying shoulder tackle, which pushes Angel against the ropes. Backing off for a run, he sprints at Angel...and clotheslines him over the top rope! Angel falls backwards, but lands on his feet on the outside, and he slams the canvas with his hands, roaring in anger as the crowd pop big for Smoke...

Downs: Well this certainly wasn't what I expected, Louis, but Smoke has flown out of the block here, and he has Hells Angel right off his game here!
Carvanelie: But Hells Angel is a veteran Maura, and don't you forget it. Sure, he could get back in the ring right here, but instead he's making Smoke wait. Smoke started the match well, I'll give him that, but Angel is just taking some time, establishing some distance, letting Smoke's body run a little colder before he gets back into the ring...

Louis appears to be right, as Hells Angel wanders towards the announce table, leaning against it and taking a breather, looking into the ring at Smoke, who nods his head in time with the crowd. Finally, as the ref's count approaches ten, Angel trots up the ring steps, and slowly steps through the ropes, never once taking his eyes off his opponent.
Once inside he beckons Smoke towards him, and the two lock up. It's a test of strength from this position, and in that department Angel is far superior. He shoves Smoke backwards, and laughs as he lands flat on his ass. Smoke looks pissed, and he kicks a leg out at Angel...who catches it! The smile on his face widens, but Smoke isn't completely collared yet. He uses the ropes to climb to his feet, then jumps into an enziguri attempt...but Angel ducks! In a flash he has the Angel Lock clamped in on Smoke, who screams in pain, grasping the bottom rope and demanding that the referee get him off...

Angel uses full five count to break the hold, and springs to his feet, backing off and letting Smoke get to his feet. He tests his ankle gingerly, but the damage isn't that severe, and the two circle each other as Smoke tries to walk the pain in his ankle off. Again they tie-up, and Angel heel trips Smoke to the mat, then drops, slapping on a headlock. He presses his weight down, restricting the flow of air into the lungs, but Smoke locks his own legs around Angel's neck. The two break their respective holds, and get back to their feet.
Angel beckons Smoke in again, and Smoke obliges...and walks straight into a stiff kick to the ribs. Smoke wheezes as air rushes out of his system. Angel bounces off the ropes and measures a kick right to the side of the head, and Smoke drops to his knees, then rolls outside the ring, holding the side of his head and wincing in pain...

Carvanelie: That's what I'm talking about with Angel. He's such a professional at this level, Maura. Smoke came out here all guns blazing, and he had some success. But Hells Angel slowed the pace down with ease, and he dominated those exchanges...
Downs: You raise a good point there. I think a big key to this match is pace. In order for Smoke to win, he needs to use that quickness advantage he has. If he tries to work at the methodical pace Hells Angel would like to, he'll be taken apart.
Carvanelie: But his problems come from the fact that Angel is so good, he has the ability to prevent him from upping the tempo, as he needs to do.

Back to the action, and Hells Angel isn't waiting as Smoke did, and isn't giving his opponent time to recover. He slides out of the ring, and catches up with Smoke as he stands in the aisle, still holding the side of his face. Angel spins him round and gives him another kick to the midsection, then whips him into the guard rail lining the aisle! Smoke's back hit it hard, and he yells in pain, before getting pulled up...and whipped into the rail the otherside of the aisle!
Pulling him up again, Angel hooks the arm and lifts Smoke into the air, dropping him with a suplex onto the concrete floor, the carpet upon which not offering a whole lot of protection. Smoke sits up, his arm wrapped around his back, massaging gently...only for Angel to boot him in the spine!
Trying to get away from Hells Angel, he crawls back towards the ring. As he reaches the ringside area Angel looms over him, and drops an elbow straight south across the back of the neck. That looked like it hurt, and Smoke's moans confirm that. But he gets pulled back to his feet, and Angel whips him towards the ring steps...BUT SMOKE JUMPS ON TOP OF THEM!

The crowd pop, thinking he's amount to mount some offense of his own, but before he has the chance, Hells Angel wraps his arms around the waist...AND GERMAN SUPLEXES HIM OFF THE STEPS TO THE CONCRETE FLOOR! Smoke's head, neck and shoulders get driven hard into the arena floor, and Smoke bounces up, his hands around the back of his neck, before curling up into a ball, moaning in pain even more now.
Angel gets up and pauses, looking out at the fans, flipping off a couple of them in the front row before pulling Smoke up, and throwing him back into the ring, then rolling in after him. Smoke crawls across the ring, his eyes wide with pain, as Angel pulls him to his feet, and gives him another German suplex! At the moment this is just a systematic destruction...and it gets worse as Angel looms over Smoke, then slaps him into an STF!

Carvanelie: How smart is Hells Angel, Maura? I'm sure you want to rave about the courage of Smoke, but in my opinion that's not the story here. Hells Angel is out-wrestling Smoke in a major way here. He's opened up a weakness in that back and neck, and now he's exploiting it with this painful submission hold!
Downs: Unfortunately it's hard to argue with you there. This is a masterful display by Hells Angel here in this first match of a three match series in the US Title Tournament Semi-Finals.
Carvanelie: On this kind of form, there ain't no way in hell Smoke's taking Angel to a third match. He's going to get beaten two straight weeks...look at him!

Smoke is yelling out loud and reaching out desperately. But he's not near enough to the ropes to grab them, and Hells Angel continues to apply the pressure on the neck. Angel is merciless, wrenching back on the neck and furiously demanding that Smoke tap. But the fans don't share that view, and they're rallying behind Smoke here! Chants of 'LETS GO SMOKE' ring through the arena, and Smoke starts to shake his arm in response...and he's slowly edging closer to the ropes!
Finally he reaches them, and there's a huge pop as the referee gets in Angel's face, demanding that the hold be broken! Reluctantly this time, Hells Angel releases Smoke, and steps up to please the referee...but in a flash he's down on Smoke again. He drops another elbow into the back of the neck...then a second...BUT MISSES THE THIRD CONSECUTIVE ELBOW DROP! The crowd ovation for Smoke rolling out of the ring to avoid an elbow drop to his weakened neck is unreal, and he quickly rolls back in, and scores with a huge right hand!

Angel drops to the mat from the right, but springs back to his feet, and charges. He looks for a spear, but Smoke leapfrogs over it...and Angel spears nothing but the second turnbuckle! Coming from behind, Smoke reaches between the legs and rolls Angel into a schoolboy pin! (1...2...Thrrr NO!)
Smoke gets a nearfall, and the crowd can't believe it. Both men are up, and Angel swings a punch at Smoke, who ducks it, then rolls him into a small package, scoring a second close call! Now Smoke grasps Angel's arm and wrenches it, before levelling him with a kick to the jaw...Smoke is on a roll again right now, and he points to the top rope, getting a cheer from the fans!

Downs: No Smoke! Don't take an unnecessary risk at this point in the match! You've got Angel on the run here! Don't take that chance!
Carvanelie: He's taking it, and he's an idiot for it! Even if he scores with this, he could completely blow his neck out in the process!
Downs: That's another good point Louis. And look at him as he climbs to the top rope, it's obvious from that that the neck's causing him a lot of trouble!

But Smoke is indeed intending to take that chance, and he has the full support of the crowd! He looks out on them, then points down at Hells Angel...AND JUMPS OFF FOR A GUILLOTINE LEG DROP...WHICH MISSES!
He crashes ass first into the canvas, jamming his spine, which of cause creates yet more pain in his neck! Angel is up, and he bounces off the ropes, scoring with a flipover necksnap, then grabs the arm...and locks in a Triangle Choke!

Carvanelie: How smart is this from Hells Angel? Normally he'd finish someone with the Angel Lock of the Living Nightmare, but not here tonight. He knows he's weakened the neck, and he's now using a submission move that not only applies more pressure to that sorespot, but will choke his opponent out in the process!

Carvanelie is bang on the money there, as Angel relentlessly increases the torque on the triangle choke. Smoke initially screams in still more pain, but slowly the screams start to die away, and it's clear to see he's going out! His fans are chanting his name again, but this time round it doesn't look like it's getting him back into the match. Valiant an effort though it's been, he looks to be completely unconscious...and the referee steps in to check the arm.
He lifts it once...and it drops. Up the arm goes for a second time...and once again it drops! The referee looks out on the fans almost with an air of reluctance as he lifts Smoke's arm for the third time, and it drops...NO IT DOESN'T!

Downs: Yes! Smoke isn't done yet, Louis! There's still some fight left in him...what a brave effort this is from a man that was injured early on in this match!
Carvanelie: But look at the smile on Hells Angel's face! He likes it! This means he gets still more time to put a hurting on Smoke! He's giving him a wrestling lesson here tonight in Albany, New York on Tuesday Night Tsunami...and right now there ain't no way I can see anyone stopping Hells Angel becoming the new United States Champion!

But as Maura said, there's some fight in Smoke yet, and he kicks his legs, eventually locking them around the bottom rope, and forcing Angel to break the hold. Once more Hells Angel holds it on a little long, before releasing and springing backwards, jogging on the spot to taunt the fans still more. Smoke somehow drags himself to his feet. But he has spaghetti-legs, and he can barely move his legs. Angel taunts him, mocking his shaky legs, then doing star jumps right in front of him...THEN HE GETS ROCKED BY A SCINTILLATING RIGHT HAND FROM SMOKE!
The pop from that one punch was fantastic...but Hells Angel flies back with one of his own...but Smoke takes it and fires back again! And now he's getting the upper hand, forcing Hells Angel to the ropes...then clotheslining him over the top! Angel hits the floor on his feet, just like before, but this time Smoke grasps the top rope...and vaults over it! He lands a cross body on Hells Angel, and punches and claws at him like a wildman on the floor!

The referee rolls to the outside, and has to physically separate the two, but this one has already started degenerating. Hells Angel grabs Smoke's head, and tries to slam it against Downs and Carvanelie's announce table, but Smoke blocks...and slams Angel's own head into it! Hells Angel hits the table hard, then slumps onto it, breathing heavily and his eyes rolling back into his head! And in seconds Smoke climbs onto the table with him, and pulls him up...INTO A POWERBOMB OFF THE TABLE TO THE FLOOR!

Downs: DID YOU HEAR THAT LOUIS...THE SOUND OF ANGEL'S SPINE ON THE FLOOR WAS SICKENING!
Carvanelie: This is what I was talking about earlier, Maura. Smoke is increasing the tempo and turning this into a brawl on the outside here. Hells Angel needs to slow it down and get it back into the ring...

Ignoring the excrutiating neckpain, Smoke looks down at Angel, and dives off the table into an elbow drop which connects! He's being cheered loudly for everything he does right now, and Smoke smiles to the fans, before dragging Hells Angel up and pointing at the ringsteps! He turns back to his opponent, and doesn't notice the referee step in front of the steps! Here comes the Irish whip...AND THE REFEREE GETS CRUSHED BETWEEN HELLS ANGEL AND THE STEPS!
He goes down in a heap, and as Angel comes back, Smoke clotheslines him across the back of the neck, and Angel falls straight onto the official, completely flattening him for a second time!

Smoke sees the unconscious official and smiles, turning around and shoving the timekeeper to the floor. The crowd pop again as Smoke pulls his metal folding chair from under him and folds it up, slapping it hard and pointing at Angel as he gets to his feet. He takes a swing...but gets nothing but ringpost as Hells Angel slides back into the ring.
Smoke drops the chair to the floor and reaches into the ring, sweeping Angel's legs from under him, then dragging him back to the outside. Holding him by the back of the head, he smashes his face into the ringpost, then sends him back into the ring, still reeling from that shot.

He follows him into the squared circle, the scoops him up, pointing out to the fans and signalling for his finishing move! HE HITS IT! HE SENT HELLS ANGEL UP IN SMOKE!! He drops to his knees, and he has the match won! He hooks the leg...but the referee is still down on the outside!

Downs: Damnit what hard luck for Smoke here! He has the match won, but the referee is knocked out right in front of us!
Carvanelie: What do you mean 'hard luck'? Smoke was the guy responsible for knocking the ref out!
Downs: How can you blame Smoke for that? He pointed at the ring steps, the referee should've known better than stepping in front of them!
Carvanelie: The referee was doing his job! I don't know if you ever realised this...it's against the rules to throw people at the steps!
Downs: It's a rough sport Louis...and look at this. Smoke is out here in front of us now, and he's trying to revive the referee.

Smoke lifts the woozy official up, and deposits him into the ring, before rolling back in himself, and once more draping over Hells Angel in a cover. The referee somehow manages to muster up a slow, groggy count (1........2.........3 NO!)
Hells Angel got the shoulder up at fifteen sixteenths there, and the crowd don't like it one little bit. They know as well as Maura Downs does that Smoke had the match won there...AS CYRIL ACHESTON SPRINTS TO THE RING!

Downs: Acheston...it's Acheston, and he's in the ring!!
Carvanelie: It's the two remaining members of Last Vengeance here tonight, Maura!!

Smoke doesn't see him coming, and as he gets up, his arms wide open, desperately trying to revive the referee, he turns...STRAIGHT INTO ACHESTON'S FINAL SHOT! He took that kick right on the jaw, and he is knocked out! Acheston picks up Angel's barely moving body, and puts him on top of Smoke, then shakes the referee, reviving him for a second time to make the count (1...2...3!!)

Downs: Oh come on! Hells Angel just won this match, but damnit he did it with help from Cyril Acheston. Smoke just got screwed there, Louis...even you have to admit that!
Carvanelie: Okay, you're right, Smoke got screwed. But that's the price you pay for knocking out the referee. He brought that upon himself, and Hells Angel has gone 1-0 up in this first race to the United States Championship!
Downs: But he needed help from the World Of Pain Champion to do it!

In the ring, 'Can't Be Fixed' is playing again, and the crowd are booing loudly as Acheston helps a vacant-eyed Hells Angel to his feet, as the referee, with an equally glazed over expression, raises Angel's hand in victory. Tsunami goes to another commercial break...

Interview With Thurman

We come back and we're backstage, as Thurman steps out of his office with a contented look on his face. He looks both ways and looks set to head off down the corridor, but young EWA reporter Buck Barlow appears right in front of him...

Barlow: Mr Skydive, I was hoping I could get a few minutes of your time...

Skydive: Son, you're blocking my path and jamming a microphone into my face. You can have a few minutes of my time, but if you don't back off you'll find the opportunity I've given you in this place to be a very short one...

Barlow: Sorry sir...but I just really want to know. We've already seen both Pain Express and Layton Matthews backstage tonight...are they here tonight to sign contracts with the EWA?

Skydive (smiling): Oh I'm afraid I can't reveal anything at this stage, kid. You'll have to wait and see on that one. Let's just say that with Thurman Skydive as CEO, things are on the way up for EWA...and additions to the roster will be a part of it...

Barlow: But...

Skydive: No more questions on the subject...

Barlow: Okay sir...so what about The Butcher earlier? He gave you the Butcher's Blade in the middle of the ring earlier tonight. How are you feeling?

Skydive: You wanna know how I'm feeling? How about I lift you onto my shoulders then drive you into the floor, then you'll know for yourself! It hurts like hell...but you know what, Buck? I like it!

Barlow: You...like it? I thought you said it hurts!

Skydive: Sure, but by attacking me tonight, then assaulting Tornado, Golden Samone and the officials, you know what Butcher's showing? It's desire...intensity...and it makes damn good TV! I've arrived in the EWA to improve the ratings, to improve the quality of our product, and to make this just a damn better place that it was before I arrived. Look at the motivation I've provided The Butcher in just one week!

Barlow: Sir...I think that was more Davlin McCaine...

Skydive: Don't contradict me...

Barlow: Sorry sir...do you have any news on whether 'The New Talent' is here tonight anyway?

Skydive: I'm as in the dark as you on that one my friend. I heard the same rumour as everyone else - Davlin McCaine's 'Talking Shit' will be presented live and in person from the man himself here tonight. But I haven't seen him here tonight, and neither has anyone else...

Barlow: And 'Talking Shit' is scheduled directly after the Butcher-J match right?

Skydive: That's correct...although I have no idea how we're going to fill that timeslot...

Barlow: How do you mean?

Skydive: Well Layton Matthews was maybe just a little intense on J earlier. He's been taken to hospital with the injuries he suffered at the hands of the Showcase Superstar.

Barlow: But what about the tournament?

Skydive: That's the issue I'm about to go address right now...it looks as though I'll have to give Butcher a bye into the final. If you'll excuse me...

Barlow: Sir, just one more question if I may. Tonight we'll see John Steele and The Great Malinko in a number one contender's match for the Universal title...who's your money on for that one?

Skydive: Well Buck...I'm the CEO of this company, so I'm supposed to remain impartial. But I'm only human, I, like everyone else wants to see Cage and Malinko finally meet one-on-one with the title belt on the line. Having that match on Tsunami next week would be a huge deal!

With that Thurman walks off past Barlow, leaving the young reporter staring open-mouthed at his back as he disappears round a corner in the corridor...

Downs: An interesting interview there...thanks Buck...
Carvanelie: Buck sucks...
Downs: Cut the kid some slack. He just got some interesting information out of our CEO.
Carvanelie: Yeah...he's giving Butcher a bye into the final. I guarantee you Hells Angel won't like that one little bit!
Downs: If Smoke gets to the final it won't even be the concern of Hells Angel...
Carvanelie: Well he has to do it coming from behind, doesn't he!
Downs: Thanks to Cyril Acheston, yes he does...

US Title Tournament Semi-Final Match
The Butcher vs J

Despite the knowledge that this match now won't be taking place thanks to Layton Matthews, 'Kill You' hits once again, and there are more boos as The Butcher storms down to the ring. He's still in his street clothes, clearly having heard the news that he won't have to wrestle in Albany tonight. Climbing through the ropes, he takes the microphone from the ring announcer, and waits for the hostile fans to carry on before he continues...

Butcher: So I hear that J can't make it to the ring to face me again tonight. That's two weeks in a row the boy's run scared from an ass-kicking at the hands of The Butcher. That, people, is the power of The Butcher's Era. That people is the reason that there is nothing to stop me going through this company.
Come August 18th at Adrenaline Rush, I will be the new EWA United States Champion...there's simply no stopping the inevitable. I am the future of the EWA! Now Thurman Skydive, bring your ass out here and declare me the winner of the United States Title Tournament Semi-Final by forfeit...RIGHT NOW!

The crowd turn their attention to the stage, waiting to hear 'The Prisoner, and waiting to see the CEO step out onto the stage...but nothing happens.
Suddenly, the Extremetron starts to go fuzzy. There is a small buzz amongst the fans, as the screen goes completely to snow.

Carvanelie: What? Did the idiots in charge forget to pay the video production people?
Downs: No....I don't think so. Look!

---The picture suddenly fades into a shot of "the New Talent" Davlin McCaine, who appears to be standing in front of a bar.

DAVLIN McCAINE: Hey....Hey, Retard. Look up here.

---The Butcher notices Davlin on the screen, his eyes squint in rage.

DAVLIN: Hey, I heard you've spent all night combing the arena for me. Which obviously makes you an even BIGGER idiot than I thought, because I've been in the luxury box all the time.

---The Butcher starts to yell something at Davlin.

DAVLIN: What was that? Sorry....couldn't hear you. Why don't you try grabbing a microphone and repeating that, rather than trying to make yourself heard over thousands of screaming Davlin McCaine fans. (a burst of cheers erupts from this)

---The Butcher slides out of the ring and takes a mike from the ring announcer. He slides back into the ring and begins to shout.

THE BUTCHER: I SAID.....why don't you quit hiding back there like a pussy, and bring your punk ass down to the ring and face me like a man?

DAVLIN: Wow. The retard's actually came up with a good question. Why DON'T I come out there and do the little "nose to nose, homoerotic" face to face thing?

---Suddenly, "Closer" from Nine Inch Nails begins to boom from the arena's loudspeakers, but instead of Davlin McCaine, a man dressed in black leather with an overcoat, bleached blond hair, and a black Singapore Cane walks out onto the stage. He glares at The Butcher like a shark that's about to devour a fish.

DAVLIN: Why? Because I'm too good for that. Not to mention....being WAY to smart for that. After all, I know that you have had a little bodyguard watching your back for the past couple weeks. A bodyguard that is currently locked inside his own dressing room....I might add. Meet MY new bodyguard.....the Xecutioner.

Downs: The Xecutioner? That doesn't look like the former XHWF Champion.
Carvanelie: Shhhhhh. The Butcher is about to reply.

THE BUTCHER: What? You're going to send your little lackey down here to fight me, rather than face me yourself? You're a fucking COWARD, McCaine.

DAVLIN: A coward? Nah.....just somebody that understands what Larry Z. used to call "That All Important Human Game of Chess." A game that sometimes calls for the using of pawns to claim victory for oneself.....and other times.....well.....

----At this point, the real "New Talent" slides in behind the Butcher with a steel chair. However, the Butcher is so distracted by the events on the screen and the stage, that he doesn't even notice McCaine.

Downs: Oh my GOD! McCaine is in the ring!
Carvanelie: And the Butcher has NO idea. Good God...this is like watching an approaching car crash.

DAVLIN: Other times....a pawn could just be used to distract the opposing night in order to allow the King a clear path to victory. Which, if you understand what I'm saying, and I really doubt you do.....

---Davlin sizes The Butcher up with the chair. Using the distraction to fake plan the trajectory of the chair into the Butcher's skull. He pulls a mike out of his pocket and actually says this line.

DAVLIN: CHECKMATE, BITCH!!!

---The Butcher swing around, and Davlin totally NAILS the Butcher square in the forehead with the steel chair, slightly bending it.

Carvanelie: Good Lord, he nearly broke the chair over the Butcher's head!

---The Butcher staggers, and then regains his stature. He runs for Davlin, who then proceeds to waffle him thrice with the chair. The chair basically shatters the last time it hits the Butcher's skull.

Downs: He broke it that time. But the Butcher is STILL STANDING!!!

---Davlin looks on in amazement, as the Butcher staggers almost drunkenly around the ring, blood POURING from the wound the chair opened up. The Xecutioner slides in the ring, and as the Butcher turns to him, NAILS him in the head with his Singapore Cane, which causes both the cane and the Butcher to crumble.

Carvanelie: Jesus! I thought they were going to have to drop a nuclear bomb on him to get him down.
Downs: Wait....what's Davlin doing now?

---As the Butcher falls, Davlin slides out of the ring and grabs another chair. He slides back in and sets the chair up. He then points for the Xecutioner to stand guard (which he does), and Davlin sits down on the chair.

Talking Shit...LIVE

DAVLIN: WELCOME, ALBANY (BIG pop) to the first ever LIVE edition of the GREATEST thing on television today.....TALKING SHIT! My guest this week....is a man I've had some problems with in the past, and I'm talking about none other than The Butcher. Hopefully, my distinguished guest will be able to weigh in on some of the very deep questions I have for him.

Now Butcher....many people have said that music just hasn't been the same ever since Kurt Cobain stuck a gun in his mouth. What is your personal opinion on that? (Davlin puts the mike to the unconscious Butcher)

Downs: Y'know, I'm not a big fan of the Butcher, but he doesn't deserve to be humiliated like this.
Carvanelie: What are you talking about? This is GREAT!

DAVLIN: Hmmmm......bad question, I guess. OK.....how about this one? If you had to pick a member of T.A.T.U to bang.....which one would it be? The Red Head....or the Brunette? (He puts the mike to the unconscious Butcher, who still says nothing) Yeah, I know.....that's a hard one. I'd have to personally sleep with them BOTH to make a proper judgment.

OK.....one more question. Did you REALLY think a retarded sheep fucker like YOU was going to outsmart "the New Talent?" Honestly? I mean, did you NOT think that I hadn't planned this moment out since I decided to come back? And for all of you watching.....fans, wrestler, and staff.....I AM BACK, and guess who I've decided to make my first example out of. (turns back to the Butcher) Oh....I'm sorry. I didn't give you a chance to answer. (He jabs the mike into the unconscious Butcher)

(Fakes irritation) Well, I have to say that you've made a pretty shitty guest, Butcher. In fact, I can only thing of one way to end this segment, without it being known as a total BOMB. X?

---The Xecutioner holds the chair steady, while Davlin lifts the Butcher up into a Fisherman's Suplex position.

Downs: Is he going to....OH NO!!!
Carvanelie: Oh yes, he is!

---Davlin lifts him up as if he is going to suplex him, and instead DDTs him HARD into the chair. The Butcher flops down like a limp piece of meat.

Carvanelie: TALENT DROP!!!
Downs: I've got to say that Davlin McCaine has SEVERELY hurt the Butcher's chances of advancing in the U.S Title Tournament next week.

---Suddenly, the Shadow runs out onto the stage, and begins to run to the ring. Davlin and the Xecutioner slide out of the ring and run into the crowd.

Downs: Shadow has hit the ring, but too little too late for the Butcher.

---Davlin stands on the balcony, and gives a non DX "Suck It" chop to the fallen Butcher, who is being attended to by both Shadow and several EWA ring attendants. The show fades to commercial on the fallen Butcher.

Downs: Davlin McCaine is back in the EWA by God, and he and Xecutioner just decimated The Butcher!
Carvanelie: What a stroke of genius by the 'New Talent'! We know that everyone's been looking for him all night, especially The Butcher. But they've all been looking backstage, not up there where the people with any class at all sit...naturally I'd be up there myself if I didn't have to carry you through the show, Maura!
Downs: How can you stand and joke at a time like this. EMT's are in the ring - well what's left of them after Butcher attacked them earlier - and along with Shadow they're tending to him...AND NOW WHAT?

The crowd erupt into cheers as 'The Prisoner' plays, and onto the ramp walks the CEO once again. He raises his arms, both in salutation to the fans, and in demand for the music to be cut so he can talk...

Skydive: Well well Butcher...looks like you just got your request for a one-on-one with Davlin McCaine. Yes ladies and gentlemen, in case you haven't guessed. The first man to sign a new EWA contract under the Thurman Skydive regime...IS DAVLIN McCAINE!!
And Butcher, don't worry, I've thought about you in this whole deal. You will get the first crack of the whip with Davlin McCaine...and the second...and possibly the third...

Downs: What is he talking about?
Carvanelie: I don't know, but look at Davlin up on the balcony there...I don't think he likes it one little bit!

Skydive: That's right, because, rather than give you a bye into the final of the US Title Tournament, I've decided on something even better for you. I mean, after all...you're the man that wants Davlin McCaine so much! That's right ladies and gentleman, substituting for J, and starting next week on Tsunami, live from the Mellon Arena in Pittsburgh, it'll be The Butcher and Davlin McCaine in the best of 3 match Semi-Finals!

The crowd pop huge for this news, as in the ring Shadow nods his head in approval. The Butcher is out cold, being helped onto a stretcher, so can't acknowledge the announcement at all. Up in the sky box Davlin McCaine looks furious. He slams his hands on the balcony, pointing and yelling at Skydive...

Downs: What a huge announcement! Butcher and Davlin in the other semi-final! Those two have such heat between each other right now we might have to call in the riot squad in Pittsburgh next week, Louis!
Carvanelie: I don't know how Hells Angel will feel about this news!
Downs: Would you shut up about Hells Angel...
Carvanelie: Why isn't Skydive leaving now? Haven't we seen enough of his ugly face already tonight?

Skydive: And just to address a few other issues here tonight ladies and gentlemen. First of all, this goes to Last Vengeance...particularly Cyril Acheston. Now Cyril, Angel...I bet you guys thought you were real smart when you pulled a fast one over Smoke a little earlier tonight. Well with Thurman Skydive in control, you guys thought wrong. As punishment for your actions, Cyril, tonight's Main Event...it's no longer non-title. YOU WILL DEFEND YOUR WORLD OF PAIN CHAMPIONSHIP IN THE NO HOLDS BARRED MATCH AGAINST CHRISTIAN CAGE!!!

Downs: Acheston has to defend the World Of Pain title! Yes!!! Cage could leave here tonight a double champion!!
Carvanelie: Oh come on...that's not fair! He was only helping out his friend. This isn't right! Why isn't Cage's title on the line as well!
Downs: Because Cage isn't a jackass, and Cage didn't involve himself in anyone else's match!

Skydive: Oh yeah, and just to ensure you don't try anything funny...I'm going to referee it. As for Hells Angel, you my friend can consider yourself dismissed for the evening. I'm banning you from ringside for the Main Event, and if you so much as show your face during the match, you can consider yourself SUSPENDED!

Carvanelie: Skydive is crossing the line again Maura! He's going too far! He can't suspend Jordan Michaels and Hells Angel! He's determined to ruin this place, I can feel it in my bones. He's suspending all the real talent and destroying what's left with his gung ho booking!
Downs: That sounds like a great decision to me, Louis! He's just successfully negotiated the problems caused by The Butcher, Davlin McCaine and Last Vengeance all in one go...Thurman Skydive is making a great start as CEO!
Carvanelie: Get your head out of his ass, Maura. Just because you've got the hots for him doesn't give you an excuse to be a corporate ass-kisser all over national television!

'The Prisoner' plays again, and Thurman nods his head at the fans, before heading through the curtain, leaving the EMT's to stretcher Butcher backstage...as Davlin shakes his head in the sky box!

Downs: This night is just insane, Louis, can you believe it?
Carvanelie: Yes, because Thurman Skydive is a nutcase! He's the one that should be suspended, not Hells Angel!
Downs: Would you drop that. Just focus on what's coming up!
Carvanelie: Ohhh yes! It's the number one contender's match...and can you imagine it Maura? Finally, Malinko and Cage one-on-one with the Universal title on the line?
Downs: It could happen next week on Tsunami! If The Great Malinko can defeat Cage's Revolution X partner, John Steele here tonight in Albany...then Pittsburgh Pennsylvania will get possibly the biggest Main Event Tsunami has ever produced, live next week!
Carvanelie: Stupid commercial breaks...why are they always in between you and the stuff you want to see?
Downs (laughing): We'll be right back...

Universal Title #1 Contendership Match
The Great Malinko vs John Steele

"Somewhere I Belong" by Linkin Park plays on the PA. The lights go off and a strobe light comes on. There is a huge burst of pyro, the lights come back on and the strobe goes off. John Steele comes out, wearing dark sunglasses and a trench coat. He stands in the entranceway and stares at the crowd, getting a huge pop. He runs down to the ring and plays to the crowd for a few seconds
And now, weighing in at 283 pounds, one half of Revoultion X.....John Steele!!!!!

'Southwest Voodoo' by the Insane Clown Posse hits the PA now and the fans all rise to their feet, the anticipation of a big name bringing them to their feet, but immediately set them jeering and booing Malinko. Steele anxiously awaits Malinko in the ring.

Maura Downs: This match should be a definate classic. Two great superstars competing for a chance at Cages Universal championship!

Louis Carvanelie: Well, Cage has his match with Cyril Acheston later tonight. I can't personally wait for those two to rip into eachother.

Maura Downs: You have to wonder though, what this championship means to both contenders and what kind of condition both men are in. Tornado got a surprising win over Steele last week, so he doesn't have the run on his side. Whereas Malinko had a brutal match last week, and was attacked by the mysterious masked man! Both men are going in this match at what can only be described as not 100% fit and ready, so it'll be interesting to see what happens. Anyway, here we go... hey, wait a minute. Who's that? It's the Masked Man again, who attacked Malinko last week!! What the hell does he want? Louis Carvanelie: If it is a he Maura! Malinko could be getting beat down by a woman!

Malinko enters the ring and circles Steele, and after a few seconds of intense shit talking, they both lock up. Steele has the slight weight advantage over Malinko, but Malinko pushes Steele back into the ropes. WHAM! A devastating chop to the chest, followed by a further two more chops across the chest of Steele. Steele is reeling with pain as he comes out of the corner and Malinko is right on him, hitting him in the back with a stiff forearm. Malinko back body drops Steele hard to the mat, and Steele clutches his neck in pain, but doesn't have much respite, as Malinko drops a leg straight on Steels head, picks him up and throws him to the corner. Malinko squashes Steele in the corner with a powerful clothsline that nearly decapitates Steele, and as Steele bounces from the post, Malinko powerslams straight back down to the mat. Malinko then catches a glimps of the Masked Man, who stands up on the ramp, watching Steele. Malinko points at the Masked Man, yelling obscenities at him, telling him to get his ass down to the ring but the Masked Man stays where he is!

Maura Downs: Wow, Malinko showing no mercy to Steele, and has taken the early advantage but he is distracted by the Masked Man. The Masked Man is getting in Malinkos head.

Louis Carvanelie: I know, and it's great, Steele hasn't even got an offence in yet!

Malinko beckons Steele up to his feet, and as he struggles up, Malinko kicks him in the gut, and DDTs him back down. He signals to go to the top rope, and immediately is cascaded by boos of the crowd. A hand gesture intensifies the boos, and Malinko spits in the crowd. He ascends to the top rope, with Steele laying motionless on the mat. Malinko takes maybe a little too much time, and misses a huge splash from the top!! Steele managed to move out of the way, and he's holding his neck, in obvious pain, shouting at Malinko to get to his feet, which he does! S-FACTOR!! The Masked Man looks on at the match, and it appears as if he is enjoying the match, as his/her head rears back in what could be laughter. As the ref makes the count, the masked man mimicks the hand slapping the mat.

Maura Downs: OH MY GOD! STEELE JUST HIT THE S-FACTOR ON MALINKO, AND HE'S GOING TO BECOME THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER FOR THE UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP!! 1...2... NOOOO, MALINKO KICKED OUT, MALINKO KICKED OUT!!!

Louis Carvanelie: Calm down woman!

Malinko manages to kick out of Steeles finisher, and Steele is irate, frantically shouting at Malinko to get to his feet once again. Malinko gets to his feet, Steele kicks him in the gut, S-FAC- NO! Malinko counters and lands on his feet, kicks Steele in the guts, and... what the hell!!! Malinko just hit the S-Factor on Steele!!

Maura Downs: MALINKO! S-FACTOR ON STEELE! WHAT A MATCH!

Louis Carvanelie: Don't forget to mention that's the second week in a row Malinko has pulled the old, 'use opponents finisher' trick! And look at Malinko, he wants more blood.

Steele is down and out, and Malinko has a sick smile on his face. Instead of going for the cover, he slides out of the ring, and throws the ring announcer off his chair, folding it up and sliding it into the ring. The referee grabs the chair, pleading with Malinko, but Malinko snatches it back off of him and shoves the ref hard in the corner, where he gets knocked out. Steele slowly, painfully, gets to his feet. CRACK!! WHAT A SHOT!! Blood pours from the wound Malinko just inflicted upon Steele, who is once again out of it. CRACK!! Another chair shot to the back and then Malinko throws the chair out of the ring. Malinko then scoops Steele up on his shoulders, yells at the crowd, and hits the S-Factor on Steele again!! Malinko pointed at the Masked Man again before executing the move, as if to proceed his dominance and show him what kind of person he is messing with.

Maura Downs: Oh my god! How humiliating, Steele has just been decimated by a fired up Malinko!

Louis Carvanelie: This is what it's all about Maura. Extreme.. Wrestling.. ACTION!! And look Maura, the Masked Man is still watching on!!

Malinko has a twisted grin on his face, as another ref rushes to the ring. Malinko drags Steele up. OH NO!! S-FACTOR... AGAIN!!! Steele is down, Steele is out, and Malinko is loving every bit of it. Finally, perhaps mercifully, Malinko locks in the 'Make A Wish' and the ref checks Steele. He checks him once more before ordering the bell to be rung! Malinko gets to his feet, obviously delighted with his work, and points at the Masked Man, then down at the beaten Steele.

Maura Downs: This is sick! Malinko with a powerful victory over Steele there! And what's this!? The Masked Man is applauding Malinko!?

Louis Carvanelie: Yeah, what's all that about? A humiliating defeat for Steele, and Malinko showing why he truly deserves to be number one contender for the Universal Championship. I tell you what, I'd hate to be in Cages boots right now!

(Fade to commercial break...)

Next Week Thurman Skydive presents...
EWA Tuesday Night Tsunami
Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh PA
Tuesday July 22nd 2003
Featuring:
Christian Cage (c) vs The Great Malinko
Universal Championship Match



Downs: And welcome back to Tuesday Night Tsunami. Louis, I know it's time for our Main Event, but let's just talk for a second...because finally we can confirm it! The biggest match in the short history of EWA v2.0, next week we will witness Christian Cage defend the Universal title against The Great Malinko!
Carvanelie: The TLC Cell Match between Cage, Malinko and Hells Angel was awesome. Last week we saw Malinko beat Cage in a non-title match to further escalate the feud...this one is going to me huge!
Downs: You're absolutely right there Louis! I can hardly wait, and we still have tonight's Main Event to go!
Carvanelie: And what a farce this one's going to be. Thurman Skydive has already been biased enough by making sure that Cyril defends his World Of Pain title, whilst Cage's belt won't be on the line...and then he makes himself the referee AND he's banned Hells Angel from ringside!
Downs: After what happened earlier between Smoke, Hells Angel and Cyril Acheston, how can you complain?

No Holds Barred Match
Cyril Acheston (c) vs Christian Cage
for the World Of Pain Championship
w/ CEO Thurman Skydive as Special Referee

'The Prisoner' plays for the final time tonight, and once again there's a huge pop for the Bronx-native Thurman Skydive. He comes out wearing the black leather pants he was wearing earlier, but has changed his 'Thurmanator' T-Shirt for a blue and white striped EWA referee's shirt. He steps through the ropes and into the ring, as 'The Prisoner' fades away, and is replaced by Metallica's 'Seek And Destroy'...

Downs: Here he comes ladies and gentlemen, the EWA Universal Champion...and what kind of challenge awaits him next week Louis?
Carvanelie: Oh no doubt, The Great Malinko is the biggest rival Christian Cage has ever had...but Maura he has to put that to the back of his mind right now!
Downs: You're absolutely right there, Louis. Cyril Acheston is no small fry by any stretch of the imagination. And if Cage wins here tonight, he walks out a double champion!
Carvanelie: I was more referring to Thurman Skydive. With him officiating this match, he's bound to refuse to count to three until these two men have lost like a hundred pints of blood...he's that sadistic!
Downs: He's bound to do a better job than your precious Hells Angel did last week in the Malinko-Cage match as well...

Cage steps into the ring, the Universal title belt over his shoulder. He looks suspiciously at Thurman Skydive, not trusting the CEO of the company any more than he trusts Malinko, or Hells Angel, or Acheston, or anyone else that's gunning for him as the Universal Champion...as 'This Is The New Shit' plays, and boos fill the arena. Both Cage and Skydive have their attention turned towards the stage...as Acheston calmly walks through the crowd! He adjusts his tie, and pulls the World Of Pain title belt from around his waist as he climbs over the guard rail, handing the belt to the timekeeper, before picking up a steel chair and standing on the ring apron!

The ring bell sounds, and this distracts Skydive and Cage who turn to face Acheston...AND CYRIL MEETS CAGE WITH A CHAIRSHOT TO THE HEAD! The Universal Champion goes down onto his back, and Acheston steps into the ring, and immediately goes for a cover...but Thurman refuses to count! He isn't letting a sneak attack decide a World Of Pain title match....AND ACHESTON IS LIVID!
He gets right in Thurman's face, yelling all kinds of profanities, and giving Cage time to recover. Once it becomes obvious Thurman is barely, if at all, even listening to him, Acheston turns back to Cage, and pulls him up by the hair...only for Cage to drive the top of the steel chair into Acheston's balls! The Champion is bent double, and Cage shoots off the ropes, coming back to drop him with a DDT right on the chair!

Acheston has been sent reeling in the early going here, and Cage pulls the chair out from under him. He opens it up in the middle of the ring, and stands it, before pulling Cyril up, and whipping him to the ropes. Cage wants to score with the drop toehold as Cyril comes back, but it's blocked...and Acheston drills Cage's face into the chair with an STO!
Cage cries out loud, the rolls to the outside, standing on the arena floor and trying to shake the cobwebs loose...but Acheston, like Skydive in front of his hometown fans tonight, isn't relenting. He picks up the chair and throws it over the top rope! It hits Cage square in the face, and he goes down in a heap, blood already pouring from his nose as he hits the ground!

Downs: Good God almighty what a vile act by Cyril Acheston there! He threw a steel chair right into Christian Cage's face!
Carvanelie: And Cage's nose looks busted up, Maura...that's not going to be pretty in the morning!
Downs: It's not pretty right now...and where the hell is Acheston going?

He isn't renowned for his high-flying ability, but Cyril Acheston is going to the top rope! On the floor in front of him Christian Cage is slowly getting to his feet, blood from his nose all over his face and chest. Acheston sucks in some air...THEN DIVES ON TOP OF CAGE! Both men go down in a heap, and Thurman steps through the ropes, dropping to the outside to check on both competitors.
They are at least moving around, Acheston with more conviction than his opponent, as he looks under the ring and pulls out a metal pipe. Getting to his feet, he looks to take a swing at Cage, who had used the ring steps to get to his feet and was bent over them...but he missed! The pipe bounces off the steps with a clang, as Cage moved aside...then dropkicks the steps into Acheston's knees!
The crowd 'OOOH' at the sound of the steps making contact with Acheston, and do it again as Cage picks Cyril up, and drops him knees first onto the steps! Cyril hits them hard, then rolls down the steps to the floor...but he gets up in a hurry to avoid getting cracked in the head by the metal pipe, after Cage picked it up!

Acheston starts limping up the the aisle...with Cage in hot pursuit! The Universal Champion runs up behind Cage...AND CRACKS HIM ACROSS THE BACK OF THE KNEE WITH THE PIPE! Acheston goes down and down hard, crashing face-first against the bottom of the ramp. He's wincing in pain, as Cage goes to one of the guard rails, and tears a 'KEEP OFF' sign from them...AND BRINGS IT DOWN ACROSS ACHESTON'S SKULL!

Carvanelie: What the hell's gotten into Cage today Maura? The guy is possessed!
Downs: With Malinko breathing down his neck, and the incentive of the World Of Pain title hanging in front of him like the carrot to the donkey, he has taken his game up a notch here tonight I'll agree!
Carvanelie: And Acheston is suffering in the process! You want to know the only good thing about this whole situation?
Downs: Go for it...
Carvanelie: It's the fact that neither one of them is listening to Thurman Skydive. Look at him telling them to get back in the ring!

Indeed the two competitors aren't paying the slightest bit of attention to Skydive, as Cage grabs Acheston by the shirt, and drags him up onto the stage...before throwing him head and face first into the set. Acheston hits them with a thud, but before he can even go Down Cage scores with a malicious chop block to the knee!
Cyril Acheston is down, and Christian Cage vanishes through the curtain backstage, for a moment, before returning with a steel chair...AND A TABLE! He dumps the table on the stage, then turns his attention back to Acheston...AND BRINGS THE CHAIR DOWN RIGHT ACROSS THAT KNEE! The sound of that shot echoes through the Pepsi Arena, but Cage isn't done! He opens the chair, and wraps it around Acheston's leg...then climbs the set!
The flashbulbs are already going off as Cage hangs off the set. Ignoring Thurman's pleas, he drops...AND ELBOW DROPS THE CHAIR RIGHT ACROSS THE LEG!! Acheston thrashes about and almost convulses with pain, sitting up and clutching the leg, throwing the chair off the stage through the anguish...as Cage has his sights set on the table.

He sets it up on the stage, and points to it, to roars of approval from the crowd, who start a chant of 'KICK HIS ASS' as Cage throws Acheston on the table...then climbs up the set again! He hangs off the piece of scaffolding once again, pointing down. But he isn't watching as Acheston finally realises he needs to do something here. He shoves Skydive into the set...causing it to shake enough for Cage to be distracted momentarily. This is enough for Acheston, as he rolls off the table, and starts climbing the set as well...on one leg!
This is so dangerous as both men hang off the Tsunami scaffolding set...and now they're exchanging right hands! The flash photography is blinding as Thurman Skydive looks up in vain as two of the EWA's top stars slug it out over fifteen feet in the air. But out of nowhere, Acheston swings his limp and useless left leg...straight into Cage's stomach! He bends double, and Acheston grabs him by the head...AND DDT'S HIM OFF THE SET...THROUGH THE TABLE ON THE STAGE!!

Downs: OH MY GOD!! THAT'S THE MOST INSANE DDT I'VE EVER WITNESSED IN MY LIFE!
Carvanelie: Damn you Skydive...you're the one that's to blame for this!
Downs: And both men are down in a heap...both men are down in a heap after hurtling fifteen feet through the air then crashing through a table, THEN hitting the unforgiving steel stage! That was just unreal!
Carvanelie: And Thurman Skydive is the one to blame. He knew this would happen. He knew there wasn't a chance either man wouldn't take to go home with the World Of Pain title around their waist!

Cage has been busted wide open now. His nose is still bleeding, and now he has a huge wound at his hairline, as Acheston crawls away from the wreckage, completely unable to stand. If this was a falls count anywhere match he'd have Cage beaten right now, but it isn't. He can't stand up right now, and somehow he has to get Cage back to the ring to pin him and retain his title belt!
He crawls backstage through the curtains, and emerges thirty seconds later, leaning on a huge metal pyro case on wheels. Smiling at his inginuity (which is completely unrelated to Kurt Angle vs Shane McMahon at KOTR 2001 dammit), he somehow manages to drag the limp body of the Universal Champion up...AND GIVE HIM A FRONT SUPLEX DOWN OVER THE PYRO CASE!

Cage just got his chest crushed down into the case, and now he finds himself being wheeled back towards the ring. As he gets close to the ring, Acheston musters up what strength he has left in his hurting body, and heaves the case...sending it careering towards the ring, and crashing into it hard, sending Cage first into the side of the ring, then to the arena floor! He rolls over just in time to be scooped up by the World Of Pain Champion, and dumped through the middle and bottom ropes into the ring. Acheston follows him in, and somehow gets an arm across Cage, and Skydive drops for the count (1...2...kickout by Cage!)
Acheston holds his head in his hands, slamming it against the mat in frustration. He gets to his feet, and rolls to the outside, looking under the ring and pulling out a Singapore cane. Cage is a mess right now. His face and upper torso are covered in blood as he somehow struggles to his feet, and to a waiting Cyril Acheston wielding a Singapore Cane.

Up Cage comes...AND HE GETS ABSOLUTELY LEVELLED WITH A SHOT FROM THE CANE! That connected right between his eyes, and it's lights out for him surely! Acheston falls to his knees and covers Cage again. (1...2...Thrrr NO!)
The ovation is thunderous as once again Cage gets a shoulder off the mat! He's a bloody mess but he's refusing to die in this one. And Acheston has lost it now. He gets to his feet and...HE'S JUST WEARING CAGE OUT WITH THE CANE! Shots to the legs, the arms, the chest, the face...Cage takes shots all over his anatomy with the Singapore cane...and before Acheston finally throws it into the crowd it is a complete mutilated wreck of it's former self! Cage isn't moving, and Acheston again covers, this time hooking the leg (1...2...3 YES!!)
Acheston has won the match...NO HE HASN'T! Thurman Skydive holds his arm down, and indicates that Cage got the shoulder up again!

Downs: Jesus Crimity that was as close as it gets Louis! Christian Cage is barely hanging on...but I don't know how much longer he should be allowed to compete in this one. He needs medical attention and he needs it badly.
Carvanelie: Thurman Skydive needs to take a good look at Christian Cage right now, and at an X-Ray of Cyril Acheston's knee, then in a mirror. He's responsible for this carnage. Him and nobody else!
Downs: This has just been a war, and in this No Holds Barred environment, I didn't see how it could be anything but...and no damnit...Acheston is in Thurman Skydive's face again!

Acheston has had enough, and just shoved Thurman in the chest. The two stand face to face, Acheston feverishly berating Skydive's refereeing ability, and his general ineptitute to be the CEO of the EWA. Thurman seems to be doing his best to keep his composure...UNTIL ACHESTON SLAPS HIM IN THE FACE! Cyril Acheston just slapped Thurman Skydive right in the face...and the Thurmanator has snapped! His eyes are wild, and he shoves Acheston back...STRAIGHT INTO THE EVENT HORIZON!!!

Cage was up, and he mustered up all he had to hit the Event Horizon out of nowhere, and now both men are down on the canvas. Cage is leaving a bloody pool wherever he lays in the ring, and a fresh one is accumulating by his face as he lies, his eyes wide open and breathing heavily. He needs to capitalise and make the cover, but he doesn't have the strength. He spends a good thirty to forty seconds lying in his own blood on the canvas before he finally is able to get an arm over Acheston's chest (1...2...Thrrr NO!)
Acheston got the shoulder up, and this war for the World Of Pain title still isn't over. Cage sits up, his eyes seeming brighter than ever through the deep crimson on his face, and he seems to be enjoying an adrenaline rush of his own right here.

He rolls out of the ring and lifts the ring apron...TO DRAG OUT A LADDER! The crowd go wild as Cage pulls put a ladder, and shoves it into the ring, setting it up in the corner and...holy sh*t he's climbing it!

Downs: There's no way he can do this...Christian no! It's not worth it! You've got to face Malinko next week...
Carvanelie: They're both crazy, and you know Thurman Skydive has to be loving this....watching two men just put their bodies through hell in the middle of the ring like this.
Downs: From the look on his face he's really not enjoying this. He's in disbelief just like you and I...

After a slow and angst-ridden climb, Cage makes it to the top of the ladder. There's so much blood in his eyes he must barely be able to see, but as he stands atop the ladder he looks down at Acheston, then points at Thurman Skydive...BEFORE JUMPING OFF INTO A SOMERSAULT LEG DROP!

Downs: THE BRONX SKYDIVE...THE BRONX SKYDIVE!!! CAGE POINTED TO SKYDIVE BEFORE HITTING ONE OF HIS TRADEMARK MOVES ON CYRIL ACHESTON! WE HAVE A NEW WORLD OF PAIN CHAMPION SURELY! THERE'S THE COVER...ONE...TWO...THRR...DAMNIT IT'S MALINKO!

The crowd are still applauding the awe-inspiring somersault leg drop from the top of the ladder, and nobody saw The Great Malinko as he sprinted down the aisle and broke up the count by tipping the ladder onto Christian Cage!
Cage rolls onto his side, off of Acheston and to the mat, barely able to move once again, as Malinko drags him to his feet...THEN NAILS HIM WITH THE EVENT HORIZON! For the second time in two weeks he's left Cage laying with his own finishing move, and he gets up...to be confronted with Thurman Skydive!

The CEO is livid, and he grabs Malinko by the head...and throws him over the top rope! The crowd are blowing the roof off the arena, but somehow, Cyril Acheston has got an arm over Christian Cage! Skydive looks down at them, and realises he has no choice but to count. Reluctance is written all over his face as he drops (1...2...3!) It's over!

Downs: Great Malinko just cost Christian Cage the World Of Pain title for heaven's sake! After everything he gave here tonight, Cage is leaving empty handed once again!
Carvanelie: Empty handed? He's the Universal Champion!
Downs: I know, but you know what I meant. He gave everything he had here tonight...and Uh-Oh Malinko is back!

Malinko climbs back into the ring, and he walks straight over to Thurman Skydive. Now it's his turn to shove him in the chest...and Skydive has had enough! He flies at Malinko, sending him sprawling with a few massive rights, then shoves him back against the ropes. As he comes back he ducks under the arm...HE'S LOOKING FOR THE SKYDIVE SLAM!
The crowd pop huge at a potential Skydive Slam in the state of New York...BUT HELLS ANGEL SPRINTS TO THE RING! He pulls Thurman off The Great Malinko...AND DROPS HIM WITH THE LIVING NIGHTMARE!

He just hit his finishing move on the CEO, and Skydive is down. Meanwhile Acheston is getting to his feet, and he watched Angel plant the Thurmanator...and he wants a piece of the action! He tells Angel to hold Thurman up...AND HE DELIVERS THE FINAL SHOT!

Downs: This is just disgusting. The two remaining members of Last Vengeance are beating the hell out of Thurman Skydive here and...CAGE IS UP!!

The crowd pop again as Christian Cage valiantly gets to his feet and tries to fight off two men at once. Blood flies from his body as he swings with punch after punch at both members of Last Vengeance...BUT HE GETS A CHAIR RIGHT IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD! The Great Malinko just knocked the man he challenges for the Universal title next week out cold...
He stands over Cage...THEN PUTS HIM IN THE MAKE A WISH! This is disgusting as Malinko pulls back on the spine of Christian Cage, as Last Vengeance stomp a mudhole in Thurman Skydive!

Downs: This is just a massacre!
Carvanelie: And Thurman Skydive can have no complaints...this is all his own fault!
Downs: And next week it's Cage...if he survives through this disgusting beatdown...defending the Universal Championship against The Great Malinko...good night everybody!

Credits
Butcher Arrives - Al Goodwin
CEO - Al Goodwin
Tornado vs Golden Samone - Dave Catena
Pain Express - Pain Express
Showcase Superstar...He's Ba-aaack - Layton Matthews
Smoke vs Hells Angel - Al Goodwin
Interview With Thurman - Al Goodwin
The Butcher vs J/Talking Shit...LIVE - Al Goodwin/Davlin McCaine
Malinko vs John Steele - Dave Catena
Cyril Acheston vs Christian Cage - Al Goodwin

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