God Bless Crooked Politics!

Remember when I reported that some new talent has been signed into this wonderful organization by none other than my bosses, Nicky and Dino D? You laughed at the new jobber roster, huh? Well, that was just something done to piss off Stone… and oh, it will piss off Stone, trust me! But the 3DWA has actually signed some great talent while Tom is gone. Stone is known for being a tight-ass when it comes to opening his wallet and hiring new, young talent… so The Sexy MF’s went ahead and opened the damn wallet for him. Yes, the signing of Brett Bomb into the 3DWA was a thing of beauty as this guy shows a sh*tload of potential! And, for the record, we can all thank “The Diamond Stud” Nick Diamante and “The Cornerstone” Dino Delsante for bringing this man into the company! And you wanna know another little rumor that’s been floating around the water cooler here on Toronto? Expect the return of a pretty good superstar to the EWA next week on Heat! That’s right, Tuesday, March 21st, 2000 (also Nicky D’s B-Day! Yeah!) will be the next day another new wrestler is brought into the 3DWA! This man was released from the EWA later last year when Tom Stone wasn’t satisfied with his work ethic. But believe you me… he’ll be back in a big way next week!

Speaking of birthdays, do The Sexy MF’s know how to celebrate one, or what? We’ve already heard the major announcement last week by “The Cornerstone” Dino Delsante that he will be holding an independent wrestling event on his birthday (June 16th, 2000) named “The Cornerstone Invitational”! Damn! And you wanna hear some of the names that have already signed on to participate on this card? Even though there has been no concrete word on whether or not Serial Thrylla has accepted Dino’s challenge or not, the list still reads like a who’s-who! Some of the names include, “The Diamond Stud” Nick Diamante, Jack “Backstreet” Suede, The Pegasus Warrior, J.T. $weet, War Cryme, The Hustler and many, many more! That night is gonna rock! I’m also hearing some talk that there will be a HUGE birthday celebration for “The Diamond Stud” Nick Diamante on March 21st’s episode of Heat! Hey, why not! It’ll be coming out of Tom Stone’s wallet! You know what I was thinking? If the 3D actually sucks enough money out of Tom’s pockets, I wonder if he might actually fail to return, period! Who knows?! Stone stranded on a hot island for the rest of his life being some native man's wife and/or bitch? HA!

You know, just to clear one thing up… there’s also been a lot of speculation as to whether or not Zed has really been let go from the 3DWA. A lot of people think that Zed’s loss to Tom Stone was some sort of work between Tom and Zed to fool the 3DWA (or EWA at the time) and a way to start up a new anti-3D relationship. Trust me people… I don’t know if Tom Stone and Zed had such plans, but I can tell you this much. Today, I witnessed our bosses burn Zed’s contract and light a couple of fine Mexican stogies of off the flames! If that ain’t enough proof for ya, then hell! Believe what you want, but the truth is… ZED’S CAREER IS TOAST HERE IN THE 3DWA!

Well fans of the 3DWA, this has been a might good time. Just to let you know, my bosses Nicky and Dino D are so happy with my extraordinary work about this place that I’ve just been given a salary raise… and hour cut… and a membership to one of Toronto’s finest health and pampering clubs, on the house! You’ve gotta love the way things work around here in the 3DWA. And in closing, I’m about to say something I’ve always wanted to say. Sorry I don’t have anymore info to bring you, but I’m in a rush to go get my penis massaged professionally! I’M OUT!