The Show Begins...
[ A warning appears on the screen… ][ The camera brings us to a shot of the EWA symbol, which quickly fades to black. We then see a montage of clips from the EWA's last 3 Tuesday Night Heat show. After a 4-5 minute video is show, a brand new Rival Schoolz video is played. We are then brought to a shot of inside the Reunion Arena in Dallas, Texas, where THOUSANDS upon THOUSANDS of fans have flooded the Reunion Arena! After a quick view of the fans signs, we are brought to a shot of the annouce table, where The Informer, Vic Canon and Eddie Sensation are ready to kick of another EWA Pay Per View... ]
The Informer - And once again, you have chosen to tune in to the greatest 3 hours of Wrestling shown at one time.... here in the EWA! WELCOME FANS, TO RIVAL SHCOOLZ!!!!!!!!!!!
Vic Canon - If I rated my excitment on a scale of 1 to 10 for this Pay Per View... I'd give it a 13! This is going to be ONE HELL OF A SHOW! Just look at the last 7 matches! ALL OF THEM have the ability to be the main event of this match! And I feel sorry for the guy who had to choose the order... because I know that whoever did it would WANT to put those matches all at the top!
Eddie Sensation - I can't wait for Fallen Angel vs. Zed! That's the match I can't wait for!
The Informer - And like Vic said, that's the 3rd match on the card! WHAT A LINE UP! Tonight, Lorenzo Hayes and Don Michaaels will wrap up their 4 month rivalry... Tiki Tortez will defend his Extreme Title against Divine...
Vic Canon - The EWA North American Title will be decided in 3 matches tonight! Also, The Regulators will defend their Tag Team Titles against Christian Sein and Ethan Storm...
Eddie Sensation - We've got a 6 Man Tag Team Match!
The Informer - Cody Covington, The Brink again Anton Bailey taking on Serial Thrylla, Nomad and Ethan Tyler! AND, of course, our main event! Thorn will try to capture the EWA World Heavyweight Title from Chandler!
Vic Canon - WHAT A LINE UP! I'M SOOOO PUMPED!
Eddie Sensation - Aren't we all?!
The Informer - I am! That's for sure! Lets get this party started!
Pre-Match Interview with 100 Percent
[ Rachel Stevens awaits the BBoys as they seem to be getting ready for more than a match. Mo' pumps up the breaking music by the Bomfunk MCs as they walk out. They are wearing adidas warm up suits, 100 Percent wears the white ones, T-Dawg the blue, Mo' the black. All three of them wear a skullie around their head and its stretches down, covering they're eyes. They put their heads looking up so they can see as they walk. Mo' hits the wall and falls to the ground, T-Dawg and 100 laugh, Rachel shakes her head. ]100 Percent - Yo bitch, what chu' lookin at, meng?
Rachel Stevens - Er...nothing.
100 Percent - You laughing at nothing, meng? Then you be laughing at El GiGante, meng. You see meng, he is nothing, meng. Meng, that esa be a stupid meng, meng.
Rachel Stevens - Uh-huh...
100 Percent - Wat chu' don't understand esa? Well understand this, meng, I'mma kick his ass meng, then I'mma go for the North American title meng, after dat. I'm changing it to the Mexican Title meng. I owe all my success to Speedy Gonzalez meng, you know what he did for me? That was the only Mexican hero of the time meng, well he still is meng. He beat up them cats no problem, meng. He is my inspiration, meng. Hey, where's my bitch, meng?
[ Cyndi DePalma walks out and stand besides 100. ]
Rachel Stevens - Well, how are you feeling, ready to wrestle GiGante?
100 Percent - All I know meng, is that my hubcaps are gone, meng. And all fingers point to him, esa.
Rachel Stevens - As I see, you have beside you Anthony DePalma's wife...
Cyndi - As you see, I'm with a real man.
100 Percent - REAL MENG, damn you, bitch, good for nothing, meng.
Cyndi - Err...yeah, real meng. C'mon honey, go kick GiGante's ass.
Rachel Stevens - Gee...thanks for the interview.
[ BBoys follow 100 and Cyndi DePalma as they leave the scene. ]
Pre-Match Interview with El GiGante
[ Rob DiMarco is standing outside of El GiGante's locker room with a cordless microphone. He pounds on the door for GiGante. Finally after many knocks on the door El GiGante and his bodyguard ZOOMER walk out. ]El GiGante - What da hell do you want meng?
Rob DiMarco - We have to do your pre-match interview El.
El GiGante - We do.
Rob DiMarco - Yes we do. And we have to do it now!
El GiGante - Den get this thing done fast because I have a title to win meng, right ZOOMER?
Zoomer - Yes El!
Rob DiMarco - First you must defeat 100 % and then go on to the finals. What do you think of 100 % as a wrestler?
El GiGante - I don't want to think of his ugly @#$. 100 % is nothing higher then 1 % meng. This guy ain't s*it and right now I'm about to give him a Mexican greeting.
Rob DiMarco - But what do you think of his wrestling ability Mr. GiGante?
El GiGante - He has no wrestling ability meng. Tom Stone just put this punk in this spot so I can kick his sorry @#$. He knows 100 % has no talent what so ever esa and thats why I get the shot to knock this punk out of the EWA.
Rob DiMarco - Then if you DO defeat 100 % you will go on against either Eric Walther or Misled Youth. What do you think your chances are in defeating either of them in the finals of the NA tournament?
El GiGante - Its a big chance esa. I will destroy both Eric Walther and that pot head Misled Youth at the same time. Both of them are like 100 %, just shit meng. And I El GiGante am the chosen one to show these punks what a MeXican @#$ kicking is. "The Riflemen" will be hunted because El GiGante is on the prowl to hunter his @#$ down. Walther who da f*ck are you meng? I've never heard of your corny @#$. Where have you been meng? Wrestling Moochie at house shows? Damn now I know how bad you are esa. But don't worry I'll shape your rifle @#$ up into a supreme wrestler meng. And that training starts tonight! As for the other meng..... Misled Youth. Wow meng where have you been to, wrestling Tiki Tortez at house shows? Youth if you even do make it into the finals I will remove your @#$ from it. Cause this is El GiGante's time to shine esa. And that is exactly what I'm about to do. Just bring your @#$ES to the ring. I'm sick of waiting for this s*it. Just bring your @#$ to the ring mengs!
Rob DiMarco - Any last thoughts before you go?
El GiGante - Hell nah esa. I said everything that there's need to be said. Now its time to show those low life American fans that I am the truth NA champ. Peace meng!!!
[ El GiGante flicks the camera off as him and ZOOMER walk out to their entrance. ]
EWA North American Title Tournament Match
El GiGante vs. 100 Percent
Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is an EWA North American Title Tournament Match![ "Ride Wit' Me" by Nelly blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'3" and weighing in at 245 pounds, from Washington, DC, 100 Percent!
[ 100 Percent steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
[ "Rap Superstar" by Cypress Hill blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 5'10" and weighing in at 175 pounds, from Brooklyn, New York, El GiGante!
[ El GiGante steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - Look at that guys! Cyndi DePalma is with 100 Percent! Anyway, this match is underway. 100 Percent with a left, right, left, right, left! He whips GiGante into the ropes..... 100 Percent ducks but GiGante nails him with a DDT!
Vic Canon - Nice move by GiGante!
Eddie Sensation - You sure about that Vic? My grandma could do that move better then he did!
The Informer - Shut up Eddie. GiGante picks up 100 Percent and throws him to the ropes. WHAM! Sidewalk Slam! GiGante looks real good so far in this match.
Eddie Sensation - I've always thought GiGante had it in him and I've always known 100 Percent had nothing.
Vic Canon - GiGante with a submission!! What do you call that?
Eddie Sensation - Bow and Arrow you dumb ass!
The Informer - Watch your mouth Eddie, and leave Vic alone.
Eddie Sensation - Why?? We're on PPV! It doesn't matter Informer, so shut up!
The Informer - GiGante is wrenching that bow and arrow pretty hard. Now look at GiGante grabbing the ropes for extra leverage!
Eddie Sensation - HA! That's what I like to see! Go GiGante Go!
Vic Canon - If GiGante has to do that to win, then he shouldn't even be in this tournament!
The Informer - The ref, Lance King, saw it and broke the hold up. 100 Percent with a speed burst! He stands up and charges GiGante with a flying lariat!! GiGante gets back up.... and 100 Percent nails him with a body slam!
Vic Canon - Nice body splash by 100 Percent.
Eddie Sensation - Uhhh.... BODY SLAM Canon! Get your damn facts straight! 100 Percent picks GiGante back up... no! Reversal by GiGante! No! 100 Percent reveses it into a bridged German Suplex!
The Informer - 100 Percent with the cover.... 1....2.... and a kickout by GiGante. GiGante and 100 Percent both get back up at the same time. GiGante with a left, a right, left, right and a kick to the midsection!
Vic Canon - GiGante holds 100 Percent up in the air. Still holding.... Still holding and WHAM! Brainbuster!!! GiGante with the cover....
Eddie Sensation - C'mon GiGante. 1..... 2..... and a kickout by 100 Percent.
The Informer - 100 Percent is sprawled out in the middle of the ring and GiGante goes to the top!!! GiGante nails a frog splash!!!
Eddie Sensation - You have him this time GiGante! Finish him! GiGante lays across 100 Percent for the count.......
Vic Canon - 1.....2..... no no no! 100 Percent kicks out.... and look at Cyndi DePalma!!
The Informer - She's distracting the ref!!! She's now on the apron showing the ref Lance King some skin!
Eddie Sensation - Damn I would love to be the ref right now!!!!
The Informer - Wait! Look!! Its Anthony DePalma running down to the ring with a chair... and the ref is distracted!!! Anthony enters the ring and charges 100 Percent...... WHAM!
Vic Canon - Anthony nailed 100 Percent with that steel chair!!!!!! Now look, Cyndi lets the ref go.
Eddie Sensation - GO GIGNATE!!!!!! WHAM!!!! And there it is, GiGante just nailed his finisher... Total Annihilation!
The Informer - And the cover...... 1.......2..........3!
Eddie Sensation - I told you GiGante would do it. GiGante now goes onto the finals!
Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and therefore advancing to the finals of the EWA North American Title Tournament.... El GiGante!
The Informer - Damn, that was quick!
Vic Canon - Well, we knew it would be... That's why its first on the card...
Eddie Sensation - HA! Curtain jerker!
The Informer - Lets send it backstage....
Pre-Match Interview with Misled Youth
Rob DiMarco - Hello Misled Youth. I can see that you are focused, but how focused? Eric Walthers is a big, tough guy compared to you, a lightweight superstar.Misled Youth - Well, size doesn't mean shit, Rob. Haven't you heard that saying before? I have a big challenge ahead of me and saying that I will kick his ass just isn't right. I think it will take alot to take Eric out. He has been in wrestling and the Navy for goodness sake! He knows strategy and he will take me out hard and quick. I am going to fight to the end, though. No tap outs.
Rob DiMarco - I hope so. What are your plans for this match? And what will they be in case he defeats you?
Misled Youth - Well, I don't really have a plan except for that I am going to wrestle my heart out, but in a way that I could win and wrestle some more because I would advance and I do not want to be too tired for further matches.
Rob DiMarco - I totally agree with you, Youth.
Misled Youth - Now if I lose, I will go on with much respect because I put on a great match. I wrestled well and I will go and see what comes up next in the EWA for me.
Rob DiMarco - Now, you came into the EWA because you saw that there were spots open for this tournament. Did you have any angles or ideas beyond this tournament to continue your EWA career running through your mind before you joined the EWA?
Misled Youth - Not really. Some say that is stupid because you could go down in your career, but for me, it is not. I am not really big on angles, but I will do them to advance, if I accept of them. I want to have a lot of creativity for matches. But I am best at just straight-out wrestling and I think that will push me along here in the EWA.
Rob DiMarco - If you defeat Eric Walthers here tonight, you may face either 100 Percent or El GiGante. You have any major plans for them or is it just the same as what you said earlier? And will you put more effort into the match against Eric Walthers or the match against either 100 Percent or El GiGante?
Misled Youth - Same plan, of course. I will just put on my best wrestling show. As for effort, I will defintely put more effort into my match against Eric Walthers because if I defeat him, he should have respect for me and others will as well. Advancing as much as I can will be my plan. Eric, if you defeat me tonight, I will definetely give you respect. Not because I think I will surely win, because I amy not, but because you destroyed me at my best, and I like that!
Rob DiMarco - Well, thank you, Youth for all your words. Good luck on your match tonight!
Misled Youth - Thanks.
Pre-Match Interview with Eric Walther
Rachel Stevens - I'm here with Eric Walther, in his quest to become the EWA's next NA champ. What do you have to say Mr. Walther?Eric Walther - That's Lt. Commander Walther, Miss Stevens. That's Lt. Commander Eric, I'm going to kick your ass six ways around the building, Walther. I've got my match with Misled Youth right now. Well Youth, I can understand the troubles you are going through. Your late teens are a difficult time. I was almost out on the streets when I was 18, and my parents never had much money. So I joined the Navy. They gave me a career. A home. Now that I'm out of the Navy, the EWA is my career and my home. And the NA title is my next step towards fame.
Rachel Stevens - Well, what about 100 Percent or GiGante? You don't think they'll play a role in this match, do you?
Eric Walther - Not at all. I think they've got their own match to worry about. And if they do, well, I've got the perfect answer to their interference. It's called the Last Shot Miss Stevens, and it makes lives miserable. Misled Youth, fear the Last Shot.
Rachel Stevens - Back to you guys at ringside.
EWA North American Title Tournament Match
Eric Walther vs. Misled Youth
Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is an EWA North American Title Tournament Match![ "Judith" by A Perfect Circle blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'9" and weighing in at 297 pounds, from Washington DC, Eric Walther!
[ Eric Walther steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
[ "Thief" by Our Lady Peace blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6' and weighing in at 220 pounds, from New York, New York, Misled Youth!
[ Misled Youth steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - And now, our second match of the night... also a North American Title Tournament Match! This time, it's between Eric Walther and Misled Youth!
Vic Canon - Theres the bell! They lock up... Walther pushes him back... Misled Youth out powers him, and pushes him back... Walther charges forward, and shoves Misled Youth into the corner! The ref is asking for a break!
Eddie Sensation - Get a cheap shot in!
The Informer - No! Walther with a clean break!
Eddie Sensation - What a moron!
Vic Canon - Walther and Misled Youth circle around the ring... and they lock up again! Misled Youth puts all his power into it, and shoves Walther back! Walther turns, and heaves him!
Eddie Sensation - Look out!
The Informer - Hip Toss! Misled Youth hits the mat hard! But he gets back to his feet right away, and charges at Walther.... Drop Kick by Walther!
Vic Canon - Misled Youth gets back up... he charges at Walther! No! Youth steps back into his corner, and takes a moment to catch his breath!
Eddie Sensation - Walther is out-powering Misled Youth! Youth needs to use his speed to get to Walther!
The Informer - Exactly Eddie. And I think he just realized that! They square off again... and they lock up! No! Misled Youth ducks under Walther's arm, and gets behind him. Youth jumps... Drop Kick to the back of the head!
Vic Canon - Walther stumbles into the ropes, and stumbles backwards right back into Misled Youth! Youth grabs him.... Inverted DDT! And now Misled Youth hops onto the top rope! Walther is getting to his feet....
Eddie Sensation - Look out!
The Informer - OOH!!! MOONSAULT, RIGHT ON THE MONEY! Misled Youth goes for the cover! The ref counts... 1.... 2..... No! Walther kicks out, just in time!
Vic Canon - Misled Youth picks him up to his feet, and runs to the ropes! He charges at Walther.... Spinning Heel Kick! But Walther stumbles back into the ropes! Misled Youth runs to the opposite side, bounces off the ropes, and charges at Eric Walther!
Eddie Sensation - INCOMING!
The Informer - OOOH!!! Youth swung with a clothesline, but Walther ducked and back body dropped him over the top rope!
Vic Canon - Misled Youth landed hard on the concrete floor! Walther might have to go out there and get him!
Eddie Sensation - And thats what he's doing. Walther picks up Youth, and throws him back first into the ring apron! That'll rearrange your spine!
The Informer - Walther slides him back into the ring, and rolls himself in. Eric Walther picks up Misled Youth, and sets him up for a crucifix powerbomb! Walther lifts him, and sits him on his shoulder.... LOOK OUT!
Vic Canon - No! Youth slides down his back... bounces off the ropes... Walther misses a clothesline attempt! Youth hits the ropes again... HURRICANRANA! NO! WALTHER REVERSED IT, AND PLANTED HIM INTO THE MAT WITH A POWERBOMB!
Eddie Sensation - DAMN! Did you see him bounce off the mat?!
The Informer - Sure did! Walther goes for the cover... the ref counts! 1..... 2..... No! Misled Youth gets his foot on the bottom rope!
Vic Canon - And now Walther is taking a page out of Misled Youth's book, and is going to the top rope! Walther stands on the top rope, and balances himself... he jumps! FROG SPLASH!
Eddie Sensation - NO! MISLED YOUTH MOVED!
The Informer - Walther landed chest first into the mat! Now Misled Youth is up... he turns Walther onto his back, and jumps to the top rope! He signals to the crowd, and jumps!
Vic Canon - WHAM! Guillotine Leg Drop! He nailed it! Misled Youth goes for the cover... the ref counts... 1..... 2...... No! Eric Walther powered out!
Eddie Sensation - Misled Youth looks frustrated! He picks up Walther, and throws him to the corner! Walther hits hard, and stumbles backwards... Youth grabs him! BULLDOG!
The Informer - And now Misled Youth jumps up to the top rope, once again! He balances, looks at his target, then jumps!
Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!!! .....450 SPLASH!!!!
Eddie Sensation - NO!! NO!!! WALTHER GOT HIS KNEE'S UP!!!!
The Informer - OUCH!!! Misled Youth landed HARD on Eric Walther's knee's! He could have a few broken ribs!
Vic Canon - And now both men are down! The ref is starting to count them out!
Eddie Sensation - Misled Youth is holding his ribs, and is rolling around in the ring!
The Informer - Walther looks like he's ready to get up... he's just taking a rest. The ref is at 4.... 5..... 6.... and now Walther is getting up!
Vic Canon - But so is Misled Youth! Youth is using the ropes to get to his feet.... Walther is up, waiting for Youth to turn around! Misled Youth turns, and swings for a clothesline! Walther ducks... he turns, grabs Misled Youth, and lifts him in a powerbomb!
Eddie Sensation - POWERBO--No! Walther drops him in an Atomic Drop! And Misled Youth stumbles into the corner!
The Informer - Walther is measuring him up! Youth turns around, and stumbles towards Walther..... LOOK OUT!!!!
Vic Canon - WHAM!!!!! THE LAST SHOT!!!! WALTHER NAILED HIM WITH IT!!!!
Eddie Sensation - DAMN!!! THAT WAS ONE HELL OF A CLOTHESLINE!
The Informer - Walther goes for the cover! The ref counts.... 1..... 2..... 3!
Vic Canon - And Eric Walther has advanced!
Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and therefore advancing in the EWA North American Title Tournament.... Eric Walther!
Eddie Sensation - I cant get over that clothesline! That was intense!
The Informer - What do you expect Eddie? He was a Navy Seal! He's got power!
Vic Canon - And that power might bring him to a North American Title reign! But for that, we'll have to wait until later tonight. So the final is set! El GiGante against Eric Walther! It should be a good one!
Backstage...
[ The scene fades into the backstage area to see Don Michaels lackey's "The Paparazzi" drinking coffee. ]Eddie Sensation - This is bad news for Lorenzo Hayes! He wants the match to be one on one and with these guys around that just ain't going to happen!
[ Suddenly, from behind Lorenzo Hayes comes into the picture with a steel chair in hand. The Paparazzi who have not yet realized that Lorenzo Hayes is standing behind them are all having a good time cracking jokes. ]
Paparazzi Member #1 - [Laughing] And Lorenzo thinks that this match is going to be one on one!
Paparazzi Member #2 - There's not a chance of that happening!
Paparazzi Member #3 - We're going to take him out like we did to his slutty fiancée Dominique Toto!
[ Lorenzo begins to speak. As he does the Paparazzi turn around. ]
Lorenzo Hayes - First of all I'd like you to meet my friend.
Eddie Sensation - GOOD GOD DID YOU SEE LORENZO HAYES NAIL ONE OF THE PAPARAZZI MEMBERS RIGHT ON THE CRANIUM?!?!?!
The Informer - There goes another lackey!
[ Lorenzo who has knocked two of the Paparazzi out cold goes to work on the other two guys as he repeatedly hits the two remaining members with the steel chair. ]
Vic Canon - They're all out cold!
Lorenzo Hayes - Second of all my fiancée is not a slut! And last but not least, how about a picture; seeing how you love to take them!
[ Lorenzo pulls out a camera. And takes a picture of all four members of the Paparazzi unconscious on the ground. ]
Lorenzo Hayes - How's that for a photograph?
Recorded Earlier Today
Pre-Match Interview with Madman
[ Rachel Stevens and Madman are sitting in chairs in the EWA studios. ]Rachel Stevens - Madman, you heard what Jonathan Creed had to say a few days ago right? And his comments on your match?
Madman - Yeah, I saw it all. He's right. I do take fantasy a littel far with reality. That's why we're having it at a 7-11 off the highway a few miles from the arena. And we're going to have the first blood stipulation, to satisfy his needs.
Rachel Stevens - You seems a little too calm right now, care to explain why?
[ Madman spins around in his chair and then stops with his back facing the camera. ]
Madman - CALM?! I guess you can call it that. I haven't made any words towards you..yet although I'm feeling tempted to, but I see it as the only way to get what I want is to go with Creed's law. Maybe he's a manipulator, but he's the only weapon I got to destroy him.
Rachel Stevens - So that means he's sort of making it harder on himself?
Madman - Uh...er...yeah...whatever. Um... move onto the next question on that book thing in your hands.
[ She flips the paper up and scans the next page. Madman turns back around towards the camera and stares at the screen without blinking. ]
Rachel Stevens - You got Creed to sign for the match, but what we all really want to know is WHY do you want a gas station match??
Madman - Clear, open environment. No lawsuits, no small spaces. Creed wants everything to be available, everything in a King of Death match. But fdirst, while I'm on that...what's not fantsy or stupid about that!? All the King of Death match is, is a match with 30,000 different weapons ranging from wires to C4 explosives all around the ring, with glass on the outside used as mats... What's better about that than my Fight Till Death? My match was just to have nothing in it at all. Just a medical crew nearby for assistance afterwards, no weapons that had to be approved by the army to be manufactured and used.
Rachel Stevens - That's true. Well, you still didn't explain why it's at a gas station mini market.
Madman - Don't risk the chances of getting hit bitch. I know that. Yuo just fucing cut me off when I was taking a breath. Never do that again!
[ Rachel Stevens slides her chair out and scoots away a few feet. ]
Madman - He wanted a first blood stipulation of all things. Well, I decided not to let him gain control of the mach completely. I didn't want to have it in the ring and around the arena. It wouldn't be any fun. I know I might have pissed off my fans a little bit, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. At the gas station, there is more weapons than Creed wants. Sure they aren't exactly explosive and all that, but you can take several things and mix them together to make an explosive. In the shed behind the market, there's the wire that he wants. There's glass in the windows, there is gas, and there are matches. There is wraps if he intends to go homicidal and suffocating me. There are tables, refrigerators to get cooled off and take a break, and food to munch on to regain energy.
Rachel Stevens - So, it sounds like you're actually giving him a treat. You're giving him more than he wants. Why? What about you? What is in this match for you?
Madman - To kick his ass, and prove I'm better than him. I want to torture him more than just beat him. First blood...fuck that. I still go with my kicking his ass until I decide enough is enough. And I see, and thank him for signing the contract without hesitation. Maybe he CAN tell what my little ol' mind thinks. Heh, there's hope for him after all...but too bad I'm not going to let him get ahold of it.
Rachel Stevens - Couldn't you just have the match in Dallas, but without the explosives and all that? You could limit the weapons and choose what they are going to be.
Madman - My fans, if they know how I am, know that this is my way of doing the job. I could have done that, but I already said it suits it better to have it at the gas station. I'm not stupid though, I know somebody's going to get hurt, and a lot is at risk, but that's how I am..risky, and that's why I'm considered a madman. That's why I have it a must to have an ambulance, and a fire truck, and everything safe around...just incase the place seems to go up in flames or something. This could be the last time you see either me, or John for a long long time.
Rachel Stevens - [Scooting closer...] You seems determined to win. I can only hope that both of you make it out alive.
Madman - I will... he won't.
Gas Station Match
Madman vs. Jonathan Creed
The Informer - We are supposed to have a First Blood Match here, but for some unknown reason it has changed.Vic Canon - It was supposed to be some last man standing type of match, but has turned into an Anything Goes First Blood Match at an unusual place...
Eddie Sensation - A gas station...of all places.
The Informer - We WILL be able to do commentary, since we'll be watching via satellite.
[ The camera zooms onto the EWA Big Screen, and then focuses on a gas station. It's an old 7-11 market, combined with an Exon gas station. The EWA cable van is on the sidewalk, and the road is blocked for about 3 blocks. Camera cables are everywhere. We then cut to a different angle and can now see Jonathan Creed leaning against the side wall next to the car wash area, nervously tapping his hands. People are surrouding the barricade and security is everywhere. We switch to another angle, and can now see a bunch of birds flying by, covering up the descending sun. We then see a figure fighting past the crowd, and being assisted to the 7-11 with security. ]
Vic Canon - In a few moments, this match will being. That looks like Madman making his way through the crowd.
[ Back to Creed, still beating against the wall. He looks down at his feet and the camera follows, showing a duffel bag full of things. ]
The Informer - Looks like he came prepared. Only god knows what's in that bag! But knowing that it's at a gas station, and that there are no rules to this match... I highly doubt he has anything healthy with him.
Eddie Sensation - What?! Are you implying that he's got weapons in there?? No way! He's just being protective of himself, I don't see what's so wrong with that!
The Informer - Who ever said it was wrong?
Vic Canon - I don't know... but here we go!
[ Madman runs up to Creed and tackles him to the ground. They begin rolling across the pavement and finally break it up. ]
Vic Canon - Madman looks to already have the upper hand, and kicks Creed in the gut.
The Informer - Yes indeed, and Creed chops Madman in the waist! Creed's already going into his bag and is dumping it out!
Vic Canon - Bats.. bats bats! Why the hell does he have so many bats for!?
Eddie Sensation - Uhhhmm? To hurt Madman? Ever think of that one genius?
Vic Canon - Shut up. Madman shoves Creed over the bats and causes him to fall flat on his ass!
The Informer - This doesn't look to be such a gruesome match so far, but it'll get ugly any second now!
Vic Canon - OH! Creed just kicked Madman in the jaw! That's gotta hurt!
The Informer - Creed picks up Madman and whips him to the gas pumps.
Eddie Sensation - HA!!! He just slipped and fell flat on his face!! I bet he lost a tooth or two!
The Informer - He didn't have a far run... Creed picks him up and wraps him in bear hug!
Eddie Sensation - Man, this match is boring...
Vic Canon - Eddie, just shut up and do your job.
The Informer - Madman is screaming in pain in this hold. Creed is sucking the air out of him. I bet his ribs are cracking.
Vic Canon - But Creed lets go! And Madman drops like a dead dog to the ground.
Eddie Sensation - What the hell is Creed doing??
The Informer - I think he's..yeah! He's getting out the gas hose! Good god he's spraying Madman with gas!!!
Vic Canon - Look at the place. Gas is everywhere! On the gound, on the pumps, on the store.. and of course on Madman.
The Informer - And now look at him! Creed's taunting him. Poor guy's probably gagging on the fumes!
Eddie Sensation - He's either gasping for air or choking on it.
The Informer - Either way, Creed's got full control of this match.
Vic Canon - Now he's going for the bats, and is walking over to Madman, who is on his knees.
The Informer - Creed now standing over Madman again with the bat in hand. I wonder what he's going to do.
WHAM! Vic Canon - He missed!! He missed Madman and shattered his elbows off the pavement!! The bat's broken in half and Creed's running around clutching his arms in pain!
Eddie Sensation - Uh oh! Now Madman is spraying Creed with the gas hose!
The Informer - Now they're BOTH drenched in gas! They better hope no fire gets involved!
Vic Canon - Yeah... If anybody lights a match, it'll be Civil War 2000!!!
The Informer - Madman is now walking towards the store... and Creed follows him in. Get a camera in there!
[ The camera cuts behind the counter next to the register. Madman knocks a stand of chips over and then stumbles over them making his way to the frozen goods section. He lays low as Creed makes his way through the store trying to wipe the dripping gas off of himself. Madman opens a door and drops his head in for a second or two, and looks out the window for Creed, and sees him. Creed stumbles over the chips as well and pops a few bags open, spraying chips everywhere, and on himself. ]
The Informer - Madman's got a box of candybars, and sneaking up behind Creed!
Vic Canon - WHAM! HA! Creed just got layed out with a box of Twix!!
The Informer - And now Madman's opening one up and taking a bite out of it! Madman stomps Creed in his side and lower back!!
Eddie Sensation - Creed grabs Madmans leg and pushes him into the counter!
Vic Canon - OOH! He just slammed the back of his head against the cigarette rack!! And they're falling everywhere as well!!
Eddie Sensation - Damn! Imagine if you had to clean this place up afterwards!
The Informer - Wham! Creed dropkicks Madman over the counter, and onto the floor!
Vic Canon - Creed climbs ontop of the counter... and DROPS an elbow! Ouch!
Eddie Sensation - Is there any blood?
The Informer - I doubt it. Creed pulls Madman up by his hair and whips him to the back of the store near the slushies!
Eddie Sensation - Damn... I could use one of those slushies to wake me up right now! This match is boring the hell out of me!
The Informer - There was no need for that Eddie... Creed whips Madman in the wall... Madman charges back at Creed, and connects with a clothesline! Creed falls to the floor!
Vic Canon - Followed by a kick. Another, a third... and he drops a knee!
The Informer - What the hell is he doing now?
Eddie Sensation - He's dragging Creed's dead ass across the store and giving him a tour.
Vic Canon - NO!! HE JUST DROPPED THE WHOLE SLUSHY MACHINE ON CREED!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - Damn! Creed's face just got rearranged!
The Informer - And Madman collapses to the ground!
Vic Canon - He's bleeding! Wait... no! He's covered in red slushy!
The Informer - And now they're going shot for shot, punch for punch!
Eddie Sensation - Creed's walking back up the cereal aisle... Madman sneaks up behind him... WHAM! Bulldog!
The Informer - And now he's putting Creed into an ankle lock submission!!
Vic Canon - What's the use!? He isn't going to bleed with that!!! Look at Creed crying out of his own move! He's tapping thinking he's giving up!
The Informer - Madman's applying pressure and pulling up on his leg!! The look on Creed's face says it all!
Vic Canon - And Madman lets go of the hold...
[ The camera changes to looking outside of the bathroom view. ]
Vic Canon - Madman's walking over to the camera man! Uh oh! Madman just threw the camera away and trampled the man holding it! Thats going to cost him a chunk out of his pay cheque! And now he's in the bathroom
The Informer - And now Madman's back out of the washroom... It looks like he rinsed his face off.
Eddie Sensation - Now Madman has a lead pipe! Look out!
The Informer - WHAM! He nailed Creed across the back with the pipe!!! And now he's taunting him!
Madman - See what you've done to yourself!? GET UP!!!
Eddie Sensation - Just stop your bitching and crack him open! Get this sorry match over with!! I'm tired of watching TV!! I want live action!
Vic Canon - Madman drops the pipe and pulls Creed up by his shirt, and drags him across to a cleaner section of the store.
The Informer - They've been going at this for at least twenty minutes and have gone to hell and back, but still haven't shed any blood.
Eddie Sensation - Unfortunatly....
The Informer - OOH MY GOODNESS!!!! OUT GOES CREED THROUGH THE FRONT WINDOW!!!! GLASS IS FLYING EVERYWHERE!!
Eddie Sensation - It's got to be over now! Creed has to be cut somewhere!
Vic Canon - It probably should've been over a while ago, but they are so full of slushy that you can tell if they're bleeding or not!! I don't think they know either!
The Informer - Glass is EVERYWHERE!!! And now Madman is making his way outside... oh no! He's got another gas hose!
Eddie Sensation - Is it me, or did we just see this sequence about twenty minutes ago?
The Informer - You saw it with your own eyes!! Now Madman spraying more gas on Creed, and washing off the slurpy mix! Maybe we'll get to see if he's bleeding or not!!
Vic Canon - Creed's rolling around like he's alreay on fire. God help them all if a fire is started somehow!
The Informer - Now Madman dragging Creed away from the mess and by a barricade... WHAM!! He just nailed Creed in the chest with a road block!! And now security's fighting to keep those crazed fans away!!
Vic Canon - It looks like Madman's arguing with one of the guards about something....
The Informer - No! Actually, he just robbed the cop of his night stick and mace! Madman walks back over to Creed and hits him with the roadblock again! Followed by a kick to the chest!
Madman - I embarassed you before, and I'm going to do it again pretty boy!!
Eddie Sensation - What did he say?
The Informer - He said he's going to... SPRAY MACE ALL OVER HIS FACE AND BEAT HIM SENSELESS WITH THE NIGHT-STICK!!!
Vic Canon - LOOK!!! HE'S BLEEDING!!! HE'S BLEEDING!!! CREED IS BLEEDING!!! IT'S OVER!! MADMAN'S WON!!!
Chris Myers - And the winner of this match.... Madman!
The Informer - I don't thnk he cares Vic!! He's still beating him like a madman! The match is over, stop it! Why does everyone always have to be a poor sport??
Eddie Sensation - He won... You idiot!!!
Vic Canon - Now security is towering over Madman and pulling him away towards the EWA van!! And the medics are helping Creed and puting a brace around his neck!!
The Informer - Some hell of a match if you ask me!
Eddie Sensation - Yeah...it was SOMETHING alright... BORING!
[ Camera returns back to the announcing table ]
Vic Canon - Well folks, Madman won the match by busting open Creed's his head with what seems to be a securit guard's night stick. On Heat, we'll have new info on these two men's status.
Loser Wins Match
Zed vs. Fallen Angel
Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a special "Loser Wins" Match![ "Gone" by Segression blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'1" and weighing in at 220 pounds, from Detroit, Michigan, Fallen Angel!
[ Fallen Angel steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
[ "Personal Jesus" by Depeche Mode blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'5" and weighing in at 270 pounds, from Chicago, Illinois, Zed!
[ Zed steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - Well fans, this one is pretty confusing... so lets try and figure this out....
Vic Canon - Fallen Angel thinks Zed is better than him.... and Zed thinks Fallen Angel is better than him!
Eddie Sensation - So, they both think that they suck... and that their opponent is better.
The Informer - Exactly. If Zed gets the win, then Fallen Angel is declared "better than Zed", which is what Zed wants. So, by Zed getting the win, he gets what he wants!
Vic Canon - And if Fallen Angel gets the win, then Zed is declared "better than Fallen Angel", which is what Fallen Angel wants, this way Zed will stop complementing him. So, by Fallen Angel winning, he gets what HE wants!
Eddie Sensation - This is pretty basic if you ask me...
The Informer - Well Eddie, some people get confused by the title of the match... I did!
Vic Canon - Now, ONTO THE MATCH! There's the bell, this one is underway!
Eddie Sensation - Zed charges at Fallen Angel!
The Informer - Zed takes him down to the mat, and begins punching Fallen Angel in the face!
Vic Canon - Damn! I havent seen Zed this agressive since last January! The old Zed is back!
Eddie Sensation - Is that a good thing?
The Informer - YES Eddie... Zed goes for the cover! 1... 2.... No! Fallen Angel kicks out! But Zed goes for the cover again! The ref counts.... 1.... No! Fallen Angel gets out at one!
Vic Canon - Whoever thought of this match is a genius!
Eddie Sensation - That would be Tom Stone!
The Informer - Zed has been a wussy, non-skilled jobber since he came back to the EWA... he even lost to Rob DiMarco! Now Tom Stone got him back on track.. back to his old ass-kicking ways!
Vic Canon - And here's proof! WHAM!!! Zed with a Fallaway Slam! He goes for the cover.... 1..... 2..... Fallen Angel gets his foot on the bottom rope! Zed gets up, and drags him into the middle of the ring.... LEG DROP! And Zed goes for the cover again! 1.... 2..... No! Fallen Angel gets his shoulder up!
Eddie Sensation - Damn! Thats like, 5 pin attempts in less then a minute!
The Informer - Well, Zed wants to get the win in ANY way that he can! Even if its a fluke!
Vic Canon - Zed picks him up to his feet... WHAM! LOW BLOW BY FALLEN ANGEL! HE ROLLS UP ZED!!! 1...... 2....... NOO!! Zed JUST got out!
Eddie Sensation - Damn! Even Fallen Angel is more agressive than usual!
The Informer - We already said that, Eddie! Fallen Angel lifts Zed to his feet.... PILEDRIVER!!!! He goes for the cover... the ref counts.... 1..... 2....... No! Zed kicks out again!
Vic Canon - And Fallen Angel goes right back to work, and lifts Zed to his feet...... DDT!!!!! Fallen Angel planted him into the mat! Angel runs to the ropes.... he jumps!
Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT!!!! WHAM!!!!
The Informer - SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT!!!!!!!!! RIGHT ON THE MONEY!!!! Fallen Angel goes for the pin... the ref counts.... 1..... 2....... NOOOHHHH!!!!! Zed JUST got his shoulder up!
Vic Canon - Fallen Angel looks frustrated! He's now climbing to the top rope!
Eddie Sensation - What's he going to do??
The Informer - Fallen Angel balances... He jumps! FLYING ELBOW DROP!!!! NO!!! NO NO NO!!!! ZED MOVED AT THE LAST SECOND!!!!!!!!
Vic Canon - And Angel's elbow might be dislocated after that one! But Zed doesnt seem to care! He's up on his feet, and he's stomping at the elbow and shoulder region of Fallen Angel!
Eddie Sensation - Well, if Fallen Angel cant feel his shoulder, then how is he going to know when its on the mat or not?
The Informer - Good point Eddie... weird way of looking at it, but good point.... Zed lifts Fallen Angel to his feet, and he hooks him.... And Fallen Angel goes up! Zed holds him there! WHAM!!! VERTICAL SUPLEX!!!! Zed goes for the pin, the ref counts.... 1...... 2.......... NO!!!! Fallen Angel gets out at the LAST SECOND, again!
Vic Canon - But Zed goes for the pin again! The ref counts.... 1...... 2.... No! Fallen Angel gets his shoulder up again!
Eddie Sensation - And Zed goes for the cover AGAIN! The ref counts.... 1...... 2.. No! Fallen Angel gets out again!
The Informer - Zed lifts Fallen Angel back to his feet... Fallen Angel punches him in the gut twice! Zed kicks him in the stomach, and lifts him...... WHAM!!! BRAINBUSTER!!! Zed goes for the cover again! The ref counts.... 1...... 2........ OOH!!! Fallen Angel gets out AGAIN! Thats three or four close calls that Fallen Angel got out of!
Vic Canon - And Zed agree's! He thinks the match should have been over a long time ago! Now Zed is calling for his big move, The Unforgiven! He picks up Fallen Angel, and sets him up for it! He lifts him!
Eddie Sensation - No! Fallen Angel punches him in the face 3 or 4 times, and Zed drops him to his feet.
The Informer - Fallen Angel kicks him in the gut, and lifts him! POWERBOMB!!!! HE NAILED IT!!!! But he's not going for the cover! Fallen Angel is standing over the body of Zed, taunting him!
Vic Canon - Now Fallen Angel is picking up Zed to his feet... but Zed cant even stand! He just collapsed back down to the mat! Fallen Angel trys to pick him up again.... but Zed plops back down to the mat!
Eddie Sensation - Angel is dragging him to the corner, setting him up for some move off the top rope!
The Informer - Fallen Angel climbs the tournbuckle... and taunts the crowd! He continues to climb, and stands on the top rope, with his back to the ring!
Vic Canon - Hey, look!! Zed is up! He grabs Fallen Angel.... UNFORGIVEN OFF THE TOP ROPE!!!!!!!! UNFORGIVEN!!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - NO!!!!!!! FALLEN ANGEL REVERSED IT!!!!
The Informer - FALLEN ANGEL ROLLED BACKWARDS OVER ZED'S BACK, AND NAILED HIM WITH A DDT OFF THE TOP ROPE!!!!! ZED IS OUT COLD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!!!!!
Vic Canon - And now Fallen Angel is back up, going to the top rope again! This time he gets up there, and balances himself...... LOOK OUT!!!!
Eddie Sensation - WHAM!!!!
The Informer - SIX FEET UNDER!!!!! FALLEN ANGEL NAILED IT!!!! HE GOES FOR THE COVER.... THE REF COUNTS..... 1...... 2......... NO!!!!!!!!
Vic Canon - ZED'S FOOT IS ON THE BOTTOM ROPE!!!!!!! FALLEN ANGEL IS PISSED!!!!
Eddie Sensation - Fallen Angel is now dragging him into the middle of the ring... he goes for the cover again!
The Informer - The ref counts.... 1......... 2.......... 3!!!!!!!
Vic Canon - AND HE DID IT!!!!!!!
Chris Myers - And the winner of this match... Zed!
Eddie Sensation - What?! Fallen Angel won!
The Informer - Eddie... LOSER WINS! Zed won!
Eddie Sensation - Oh, right....
Vic Canon - HA!!!! Well after a long and intense rivalry... Zed is finally declared BETTER than Fallen Angel!
Eddie Sensation - This is so confusing....
The Informer - You're the one who was saying it's a simple concept!
Vic Canon - Yeah! You moron!
Pre-Match Interview with Lorenzo Hayes
[ Scene opens up in the dressing room of Lorenzo Hayes minutes before the biggest match in his life. Not only will it settle who is the better out of the two, it will settle who really is the teacher and who is the student. Well Rachel Stevens has just walked into the dressing room to find Lorenzo Hayes wearing a shirt that has the sleeves cut off the writing on the shirt has "It's time for the student to become the teacher" on the front, and "The New $uperstar" Lorenzo Hayes on the back. His hair is gelled back and his eyes are covered with the typical silver Oakley shades. Lorenzo who seems to be very cool and relaxed welcomes Rachel politely for probably the first time since he arrived in the EWA. ]Lorenzo Hayes - Rachel, aren't you looking beautiful!
Rachel Stevens - [Stunned.] What's wrong Lorenzo? Are you feeling sick? Or is it that you're nervous?
Lorenzo Hayes - I've never felt better Rachel! I mean seriously how could I feel sick, when in just a few more minutes I get to go out in front of millions of people and show the world that Don Michaels is nothing compared to me!
Rachel Stevens - WOW you sound confident Lorenzo!
Lorenzo Hayes - I have nothing to worry about; seeing how I took out them lackey's in the Paparazzi! The only way Don Michaels could have won was the Paparazzi, and well they're out of the picture now, so now it's just one on one "ThE kInG oF gLiTz AnD gLaMoUr" Lorenzo Hayes, the present, and the future of the EWA taking on "The $uperstar" Don Michaels, the past, the man that should have retired years ago! And trust me Rachel after I get finished with him, he will really regret not retiring earlier!
Rachel Stevens - They're some pretty strong words.
Lorenzo Hayes - No not really I could be a lot harsher! And even if they were "strong words" it doesn't matter cause my actions will back up my words!
Rachel Stevens - So what you're saying is you have no worries of losing this match against your mentor?
Lorenzo Hayes - He WAS my mentor but was is the keyword Rachel. Tonight's match is the biggest one in my short but oh so successful career, I walk into this match as the student, the guy that learned everything from Don Michaels, but after that bell has rung and the referee is holding my hand high up in the air; I become the teacher! The teacher who learned everything off of Don Michaels, but then perfected everything he learnt off of his teacher so that he was the better man! Tonight Don Michaels will learn that Lorenzo Hayes is ready for the big time; tonight Don Michaels will learn that I am the better wrestler, and tonight Don Michaels will find out that when Lorenzo Hayes is under pressure, Lorenzo Hayes always comes out on top!
Rachel Stevens - Lorenzo I wish you luck tonight but I don't think I have ever seen someone so overly confident in my life. Don Michaels is a great wrestler.
Lorenzo Hayes - But I am better! And that's why I have nothing to worry about. Don Michaels once was an amazing wrestler, he still is pretty decent, but I'm in my prime and NOBODY CAN BEAT ME! Rachel perfection just can't be beat!
Rachel Stevens - If you win this match do you think it will get you more jobs in Hollywood?
Lorenzo Hayes - More jobs? I'm getting 15 calls a day now telling my that they want me to advertise there clothing and so forth, I don't want anymore!
Rachel Stevens - Well I've just got word that the match is supposed to be under way already so you got any final words?
Lorenzo Hayes - Don Michaels for the past four months our feud has been nothing but a movie! Lorenzo Hayes the good guy, Don Michaels the jealous bad guy! You've got the better of me, but as every body knows THE GOOD GUY ALWAYS COMES OUT ON TOP! Don Michaels you love the spotlight as much as I do, and tonight were both in the spotlight showing who is the better man, and as everybody knows that is ME, tonight Don you're getting thrown out of the spotlight and The New $uperstar is going into the lime light! Don tonight Lorenzo Hayes is going to show you what ShowTime really is!
[ The scene fades. ]
Pre-Match Interview with Don Michaels
Rob DiMarco - Hello Don, as always I've got a few question for you Jeanine Trujillo hasn't been seen since your vile attack on Dominique Toto last TNH. Will she be accompanying you to the ring tonight."The $uperstar" Don Michaels - There are some things that you don't need to know DiMarco. I suggest that you find yourself a new line of questioning.
Rob DiMarco - Uhm okay, tonight you finally face Hayes one on one. Can you shed some light on your history with Lorenzo Hayes?
"The $uperstar" Don Michaels - Sure I can DiMarco. Hayes has spent the last year of his career in my shadow. When I met him, he was a Little Nasty; but through patience and my hard work I transformed him. I gave him a sense of pride, and the confidence needed to rise in the ranks of wrestling. Like any good mentor, I was happy, even joyous when Hayes started to succeed. But then, he began to think of himself as my equal; which is a mistake of cataclysmic proportions. Because NO ONE IS DON MICHAELS EQUAL. I've watched this imitation, this "Bizzaro Michaels" from a distance. At first I was flattered that Hayes adopted my style. Heck he's stolen my wardrobe, my attitude. But that was okay, because imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. But when he tried to steal my spotlight, when he actually tried to reach my status with my own style, that's when he went from a way-ward pupil to scene stealing thief. That's when I decided to put him down.
Rob DiMarco - Well then why didn't you? Why all of the sneak attacks and the games Don? Why didn't you just face Hayes one on one?
"The $uperstar" Don Michaels - Because I wanted to punish him for his insolence! And I did punish him DiMarco. Take a stroll down memory lane with me! First there was Breakdown, I outsmarted him, and punished him physically, and mentally, when I gave his fiancee the opportunity tell the world who she really feels about Don Michaels. You know what DiMarco, I think I have a video clip of that.
[ Michaels turns on one of the televisions in his locker room ]
Video Footage - Breakdown "The $uperstar" Don Michaels - Now once again, Domonique.who is your favorite wrestler?
Dominique Toto - "The $uperstar" Don Michaels.
"The $uperstar" Don Michaels - And who's your favorite actor?
[ Tears roll down Domonique's eyes. ]
Dominique Toto - "The $uperstar" Don Michaels.
"The $uperstar" Don Michaels - And who's your favorite Hollywood prettyboy?
Dominique Toto - "The $uperstar" Don Michaels.
"The $uperstar" Don Michaels - And who's the only King of Glitz and Glamour?
Dominique Toto - "The $uperstar" Don Michaels.
"The $uperstar" Don Michaels - And who's the true $tallion of $howbiz?
Dominique Toto - "The $uperstar" Don Michaels.
"The $uperstar" Don Michaels - And who's the real Hollywood Heartthrob?
Dominique Toto - "The $uperstar" Don Michaels.
"The $uperstar" Don Michaels - That's right Lorenzo, you heard it from your own fiancee. Don Michaels was the man, Don Michaels is the man, and Don Michaels will always be the man.
Video feed ends "The $uperstar" Don Michaels - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA! But DiMarco that's not the only thing I've done to Hayes, I've embarrassed him as well!
Video Footage - Rock The Boat [ His after-match theatrics still fresh in the memory of the EWA's fans, these same fans begin to jeer as Michaels makes his way towards the ring. In response Michaels smiles at the crowd, secure in the knowledge that he's superior to them all. Michaels lifts the microphone to his mouth. ]
"The $uperstar" Don Michaels - Oh stop it, you all know you love me!
[ What's the difference between me and you begins to blast over the loudspeakers and the fans erupt! However their cheers die down as the see who comes down to the ring, two midgets and a dog wearing a pink bow. One of the midgets looks like Josh Hamric, the other is an exact replica of Lorenzo Hayes, from his blonde slicked back hair to the silver Oakleys shading his eyes. ]
Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Vic Canon - What the hell is this?
The Informer - It's more of Don Michaels' bullshit, that's what it is.
Eddie Sensation - No it's not, that's Lorenzo Hayes!
The Informer - What?!?!?!
Vic Canon - That's obviously not Lorenzo Hayes
[ "Lorenzo Hayes" walks into the ring and Michaels drops to his knees, to stare "Hayes" in the eyes. ]
"The $uperstar" Don Michaels - Hayes, tonight is the last night you'll ever be seen in The EWA, it's the last time these people, these sweathogs [Michaels motions to the crowd] will ever get to hear you again. Do you have any last words for them?
"Lorenzo Hayes" - Michaels, you've embarrassed me, you've humiliated me, and worse yet you've exposed me for the last couple of pay-per-views. Now I know that I'm only half the man that you are but I've had enough. It's show time you're going down old man!
Video feed ends "The $uperstar" Don Michaels - I've outsmarted him numerous times. DiMarco I would've gotten you footage documenting each and every time I've outsmarted Hayes, but it would add an extra hour to the pay-per-view. But what I am going to do is show the world just how impotent Hayes truly is.
Video Footage - TNH 9/12/00 [ Michaels laughs in Hayes' face, as The Paparazzi pose and posture over the helpless Dominique Toto. ]
"The $uperstar" Don Michaels - To be blunt Hayes, Dominique is a cross between a door-knob and an energizer battery, everyone gets a turn, all, night, long! So I'm going to issue the Domonique Toto challenge: if there's anyone back there in the locker-room who thinks he has what it takes to put Domonique Toto out of commission, come on down to the ring.
[ As Michaels finishes his sentence the EWA Job Squad: GI Bro, Jumpin Jimmy Swanson, and MMG. All three men wear $uperstar T-Shirts, and cheap plastic copies of Don Michaels one of a kind platinum sunglasses. One by one they each ascend the tope rope, and drive themselves further and further until Toto doesn't even move, tears stream down her now crimson cheeks. Her chest heaves under the strain of her own sobbing, but she doesn't move. Hayes collapses into a frustrated, helpless heap. ]
"The $uperstar" Don Michaels - Now Hayes, when the EMT's dig Toto out of this dumpster, and cart her off to whatever second rate hospital is closest to this third rate arena, in this God forsaken fourth rate town.
[ Michaels waits for the jeers from the audience, and as expected they come. ]
"The $uperstar" Don Michaels - Just remember one thing. You did this to her Hayes. You're arrogance, you're overconfidence, and your ignorance.
Video feed ends Rob DiMarco - Well, with The Paparazzi out of action, and Jeanine Trujillo missing, you're going to go into this match without your "supporting" cast. Do you have any words for Lorenzo Hayes?
"The $uperstar" Don Michaels - Lorenzo, I don't need the Paparazzi to beat you, I don't need Jeanine to beat you. Why? Because you're no match for me, now let me itemize this fact for you. Your cheap Oakley shades are no match my solid platinum Versace sunglasses. Your pitiful straight to cable movies can't compare to my record shattering Blockbusters. Even your handicapped groupie Toto, can't compare to my Jeanine. You can't compare to me, physically or psychologically. But most importantly your skills can't compare with mine. I've accomplished more in the last year than you will in your entire life. I've carried entire federations on my back, I've dominated mega-cards across the globe. Hell I've even had more title reigns than Dominique's had lovers. In a few short minutes Hayes, your going to go from a rising young star, to just another Don Michaels fan. That's right Hayes, the time has come to receive the final Autograph of your career.
[ Michaels looks directly into the camera, winks, and abruptly walks out on Rob DiMarco. ]
Rob DiMarco - Wow, this one looks like it's going to be big. Back to you guys at ringside!
One Fall Match
Lorenzo Hayes vs. Don Michaels
Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall![ "Whats the Difference" By Eminem and Dr. Dre blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'3" and weighing in at 267 pounds, from Palm Springs, California, "Mr. Ratings" Lorenzo Hayes!
[ "Mr. Ratings" Lorenzo Hayes steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
[ "My Way" by Frank Sinatra blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'3" and weighing in at 249 pounds, from Brooklyn, New York, "The $uperstar" Don Michaels!
[ "The $uperstar" Don Michaels steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - Michaels and Hayes circle each other, in fact Michaels is looking a little too cautious. Collar elbow tie-up.
Vic Canon - Hayes is using his size and strength to push Michaels back into the turnbuckles. Michaels ducks between the ropes, and the ref steps between both men, surprisingly we get a clean break from Hayes. Michaels looks upset, he's never been manhandled like this before.
The Informer - Well Hayes is six three and two hundred and sixty seven pounds. He's got the advantage in a pure fist fight!
Vic Canon - Michaels is calling for another test of strength, and Hayes agrees! Collar elbow tie-up, and again Hayes pushes Michaels back into the turnbuckle. The ref steps between both men, and we get another clean break. Michaels comes out of the corner once more. He's calling out Hayes again. And we get ANOTHER collar elbow tie-up.
Eddie Sensation - But no Michaels kicks Hayes in the gut doubling him over! Brains beat brawn every-time!
Vic Canon - Michaels sets Hayes up for a power bomb, but Hayes reverses it into a backdrop!
Eddie Sensation - But Michaels lands on his feet, what an incredible athlete!
Vic Canon - Now it's Hayes on the offense and he's hammering Michaels with lefts and rights to the chin. Front face lock on Michaels by Hayes into a snap suplex!
The Informer - Michaels is a little slow to get up this time!
Vic Canon - Hayes drops Michaels with a close line. I've never seen him this Charged up for a match!
The Informer - Well after what Michaels did to Dominique Toto on the last Heat he HAS to be charged up!
Vic Canon - Michaels is still down, and Hayes scrambles to the tope rope.
The Informer - For a man of Hayes' size he got up there pretty quickly.
Vic Canon - Hayes connects with a guillotine leg drop, and Michaels is in a world of pain. But instead of capitalizing Hayes is going to the tope rope again!!!
Eddie Sensation - This could be a mistake!
Vic Canon - Maybe Eddie; but maybe not. Michaels staggers to his feet, but Hayes is perched on the tope rope waiting for him. Michaels turns to face Hayes just in time for a Missile dropkick to the chest, and Michaels is down again. Hayes drags Michaels to his feet..brain buster!! Michaels is down again! Michaels rolls out of the ring. But Hayes is coming out after him!
Eddie Sensation - Look out behind you $uperstar!
The Informer - Too late Eddie! Hayes just plastered Michaels with a hard right to the jaw, and now Michaels is sprawled out over the French announce table!
Vic Canon - Here comes Hayes...grabs Michaels by the waist...GUT WRENCH POWER BOMB THROUGH THE FRENCH ANNOUNE TABLE!
Eddie Sensation - There goes Paris! Tom Stone is going to be furious!
Vic Canon - Hayes drags Michaels out of the wreckage, and whips him into the guardrail!
Eddie Sensation - Come on Michaels fight back!
The Informer - Hayes has a chair and he sets it up between himself and Don Michaels.. what's he going to do now?
Eddie Sensation - I don't know but it can't be good for Don Michaels
Vic Canon - Hayes goes to the opposite guardrail. He gets a running start uses the chair as a springboard..and sends Michaels over the guardrail with a flying close line!!! Now Hayes is playing to the crowd!
The Informer - Listen to these fans they're hysterical!
Vic Canon - Hayes re-enter the ring to briefly to break the count, then he slips back out, and drags Michaels back into the ring.
The Informer - Look at Michaels, he's on his knees, he's begging off!
Vic Canon - Hayes rears back but Michaels pokes him in the eye before he can finish his punch. Michaels is measuring the stunned Lorenzo Hayes. Now Michaels drops to one knee.. low blow!
The Informer - Ouch!!
Eddie Sensation - Another veteran move by The $uperstar Don Michaels!
Vic Canon - Now Michaels clearly has the advantage look at that arrogant smirk on his face. He circles the stunned Lorenzo Hayes, trying to recover from the brutal beating he has suffered so far. Now Michaels savagely kicks at Lorenzo Hayes right kneecap again and again and again!
Eddie Sensation - HA! What strategy by Don Michaels! Hayes can't fight if he can't stand!
Vic Canon - Michaels now runs into the ropes, bounce off, and drop kicks Hayes' right knee! Hayes has got to be in pain how can he even stand?
Eddie Sensation - Well he won't be standing for long because here comes Don Michaels again!
Vic Canon - Michaels with another savage drop kick to the knee, and this time Hayes collapses. Michaels quickly gets on top of Hayes and begins choking him!
The Informer - Come one ref that's a blatant chokehold!
Vic Canon - The ref sees it and breaks it up! Now Michaels is dragging Hayes towards the rope by the injured leg!
The Informer - This can't be good for Hayes!
Vic Canon - Michaels places that injured leg on the top rope.. he ascends to the second and drops down onto Hayes' injured knee.
Eddie Sensation - One more time $uperstar!
The Informer - Can you be any less biased?
Eddie Sensation - Of course not!
Vic Canon - Michaels drops down on Hayes' leg again, and now Hayes is writhing in agony. Michaels lifts Hayes to his feet, scoops him up and into a knee breaker, but that's not enough, he lifts him up and delivers another knee breaker.
The Informer - Michaels is like a shark that smells blood, completely merciless.
Vic Canon - Now Michaels walks Hayes over to a corner, and rams his head into the top turnbuckle.
The Informer - Just look at Michaels face, he's enjoying this!
Eddie Sensation - Of course he is, who wouldn't enjoy destroying a scene stealing pretty boy like Lorenzo Hayes!
Vic Canon - Michaels puts Lorenzo in a front face lock, reverse it, and sends Hayes to the canvas with an inverted DDT! Now Michaels is leaving the ring; he reaches into the ring and begins to pull Hayes towards the ring post.
Eddie Sensation - Michaels poses for the crowd, and wraps Hayes' right knee around the steel post. HA!! I love this guy.
Vic Canon - The ref gives him a warning but Michaels ignores it and rams Hayes' leg into the steel post again! Now the ref steps between Michaels and Hayes, distracting Michael long enough for Hayes to crawl out of the corner.
The Informer - Michaels grabs a microphone from one of the timekeeper and rolls back into the ring!
Don Michaels - Look at him! Look at him Toto, your man, your $tallion of Showbiz crawling around the ring like a worm!
The Informer - Somehow Hayes is back on his feet!
Don Michaels - Now Dominique, if you get on your knees and beg, I might not end Lorenzo's career tonight. In fact, I'll only give him the beating of his life. So just imagine that you were alone with me in the locker room and get Dominique get down on your knees! I know you want to.
The Informer - Hayes is pissed!
Vic Canon - Hayes spins Michaels around.. single arm slam by Hayes!
Eddie Sensation - But Hayes is still hobbling around the ring, Michaels has done some serious damage to that leg!
Vic Canon - Michaels is up but he's a little stunned, and Hayes nails him with a right, Michaels fires back with one of his own, and now the two men are exchanging blows in the middle of the ring!
The Informer - But I think Hayes is getting the better of Michaels!
Vic Canon - I think your right, Michaels is staggering under the blows!
Eddie Sensation - Not for long!
Vic Canon - Michaels kicks Hayes' injured knee, and Hayes collapses!
Eddie Sensation - Hayes just can't compare with The $uperstar's experience or in ring ability!
Vic Canon - Michaels is climbing to the top rope, and now he's waiting for Hayes to get to his feet.
Eddie Sensation - Come one $uperstar, we want to see it!
Vic Canon - Hayes is to his feet, Michaels leaps from the top rope.. DIRECTORS CUT..
Eddie Sensation - Michaels just took Hayes' head off with his patented top rope close line! Michaels goes for the cover one, two.. kick out!
The Informer - It takes more than that to beat a competitor like Lorenzo Hayes!
Vic Canon - Now Michaels grabs Hayes and brings him to his feet scoops him up over his shoulder, and is running towards the corner, he's going to ram Hayes' head into one of those turnbuckles!
The Informer - But Hayes pushes off and sends Michaels into the turnbuckle instead, an excellent counter by Hayes!
Vic Canon - Michaels backs out of the turnbuckles, and right into a German Suplex from Hayes, now Hayes goes for the pin. One.Two.kick out by Michaels. Hayes lifts Michaels from the canvas; pick him up.DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! Now Hayes climbs the top turnbuckle.
The Informer - I think I know what's coming now.it's THE RISE OF THE RATINGS!
Eddie Sensation - But Michaels rolled out of the way!
Vic Canon - Hayes is hurt, Michaels capitalizes immediately and drags him to the center of the ring and slaps on a figure four leg-lock!
Eddie Sensation - He's really got it synched in tight too!
Vic Canon - Hayes is in agony; I don't know how much more he can take!
The Informer - The ref is asking if Hayes wants to surrender but Hayes gives an emphatic NO!
Vic Canon - Michaels is talking some serious trash to Hayes, but it's having the opposite effect! Hayes is now trying to pull himself to the ropes but it's too far, and Michaels is too strong. Hayes begins to rock back and forth, he's trying to turn the hold over, and he does.
The Informer - Now its Don Michaels turn, and he's in a world of hurt!
Vic Canon - Michaels quickly escapes the reversed figure four!
Eddie Sensation - Both men are back to their feet, they lock up Hayes is still stronger, and shoves whips Michaels into the ropes, standing shoulder block sends Michaels to the mat. Now Hayes is headed to the turnbuckles, he's climbing the ropes on that bad leg.
The Informer - I don't know if this is a wise move.
Vic Canon - Hayes slowly gets to the top rope, but Michaels is up, and shakes the ropes. Hayes stumbles, and gets crotched by the top rope!
Eddie Sensation - Ohh, that's got to hurt!
Vic Canon - Michaels now comes after Hayes, climbs to the top rope, front face lock on Hayes, and he executes a devastating superplex.
Eddie Sensation - That's not a superplex; any idiot can throw a superplex. That was a $uperplex!
The Informer - Eddie Sensation, president of the Don Michaels fan club!
Vic Canon - Both men are down after that move, but Michaels gets to his feet first, and goes for the pin.. one...two...thr.Hayes has just kicked out!
The Informer - A lot of people have been critical of Lorenzo Hayes and his abilities since he came hear to the EWA. But tonight the kid has to have silenced his critics with his sheer will!
Eddie Sensation - Well he hasn't silenced his biggest critic, because The $uperstar Don Michaels is back on his feet!
Vic Canon - Well-said Eddie, Don Michaels has been the thorn in Hayes side since he arrived here. And now he's dragging Hayes to his feet, whips him into the corner post, and follows up with a running close line. But Hayes won't go down.
The Informer - Michaels is beginning to look frustrated.
Vic Canon - Indeed he is. Michaels sneers at the crowd, then nails Hayes with a stinging knife edged chop.
Eddie Sensation - WHOOOOOO!!!!!!
Vic Canon - And another knife edged chop, and another and another!
Eddie Sensation - WHOOOOOO, Hayes is going to feel that in the morning.
Vic Canon - Now Michaels grabs Hayes by the arm, whips him towards the other ring-post, no HAYES REVERSES IT, and sends Michaels crashing into the turnbuckle, now Hayes follows up with an awesome close line of his own, and Michaels is staggered!
Eddie Sensation - The $uperstar isn't hurt!
Vic Canon - Now Hayes is delivering some knife edged chops of his own!
The Informer - WHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Vic Canon - Hayes grabs Michaels by the head, gets a running start out of the corner and plants Michaels to the canvas with a bulldog. Now Hayes roles Michaels over.STANDING FROG SPLASH!
The Informer - Hayes is going to the ropes AGAIN!!!!
Eddie Sensation - What is he an idiot, you've seen what The $uperstar has done to his legs!
Vic Canon - I think he wants to finish this match now, he's on the top rope, and Michaels is still down.. Asai Moonsault from Lorenzo Hayes bad leg and all!
The Informer - And he connected. Now he's going for the pin.One.Two...Kick out!
Vic Canon - Hayes, lifts Michaels to his feet, he's holding "Two Thumbs Up" to the crowd.front face power bomb!
Eddie Sensation - How'd he do that?!?!
The Informer - Hey he's Lorenzo Hayes.
Vic Canon - Hayes goes for the pin. One.Two.. three NO Kick out! Michaels has kicked out again.
Vic Canon - Now Hayes looks a little frustrated. He lifts Michaels to his feet, whips him into the ropes, but Michaels baseball slides between Hayes' legs, Now Hayes turns around. $uperkick!
Eddie Sensation - It's almost over now!
Vic Canon - Hayes is down, and now Michaels goes to the tope rope.
The Informer - Michaels isn't known for his Arial assault, I think he's just trying to show up Lorenzo Hayes
Vic Canon - Michaels leaps from the top rope and lands a Shooting Star Press across Hayes chest.
Eddie Sensation - That's not a Shooting Star Press, it's a $uperstar Press!
The Informer - What? Are you making this stuff up?
Eddie Sensation - You heard me right; I was talking to Michaels earlier.
Vic Canon - Well whatever is was called, Michaels is smiling now. Look at him he knows this match could be over.
The Informer - But why isn't he going for the pin?
Eddie Sensation - I don't know but he's asking for a microphone!
Don Michaels - Now I look out in the crowd and I know that you fans, you DON MICHAELS FANS, saw that move and wondered.. how could one man be that skilled. It's simple folks: I'm The $uperstar Don Michaels.
The Informer - What an egotistical prick!
Don Michaels - Now for the benefit of the arena audience, I'm going to show you again, just how awesome The $uperstar Don Michaels is.
Eddie Sensation - Michaels tosses the microphone aside and starts climbing to the top rope. now he's blowing kisses to the crowd.
The Informer - And listen to them jeer!
Vic Canon - Now Michaels leaps from the ropes, it's another $uperstar Press, but Hayes rolls out of the way!
The Informer - Both men are on the canvas, both men are hurt, know it's a battle of wills
Eddie Sensation - Lorenzo Hayes has just rolled underneath the bottom rope.
Vic Canon - And now he has just snatched a microphone off of the ring announcer.
Lorenzo Hayes - Don it ain't going to be that easy you fuck head! If I were you I'd quit yapping and concentrate on me kicking your ass; hey you never know you just might learn something!
The Informer - Lorenzo has dropped the mic and has rolled back into the ring. Don Michaels is getting up to his feet, but not fast enough!
Eddie Sensation - That carbon copy Lorenzo Hayes just kicked Don Michaels right in the face as hard as he could!
Vic Canon - Lorenzo picks Michaels up to his feet and whips him to the ropes, theirs a leap frog by Lorenzo, Don hits the other rope and as he comes off gets nailed with his own move the $uperkick!
The Informer - Lorenzo better take advantage of this, Don Michaels is down and out!
Eddie Sensation - COME ON DON! Lorenzo climbs up to the top rope; he leaps off and nails a swan dive Sinton bomb!
The Informer - WHAT A MOVE BY LORENZO HAYES!
Vic Canon - Lorenzo goes for the cover 1.. 2.. And Don Michaels just barely kicks out!
Eddie Sensation - Lorenzo almost got the win there!
The Informer - Lorenzo drops a fist to the throat of Don Michaels. And Michaels is holding his throat in agony! He can't breath!
Vic Canon - Lorenzo picks Don Michaels up and places him on the top rope, he then proceeds to climb to the second rope! What is he going to do!
Eddie Sensation - Lorenzo raps his arm around the head of the $uperstar and WHAT A TORNADO DDT!
The Informer - The impact that Don Michaels head hit the canvas was unbelievable! It sounded like a car crash!
Vic Canon - Go for the pin Lorenzo!
Eddie Sensation - He isn't going to do that; he knows it ain't enough to take out Michaels!
The Informer - Lorenzo goes to kick Don Michaels, but Don Michaels catches his foot, what's Michaels going to do?
Vic Canon - No! Enziguri by Lorenzo Hayes what a move! And Lorenzo goes for the pin once again!
Eddie Sensation - 1.. 2. kick out!
The Informer - Lorenzo throws Michaels to the ropes, Michaels comes flying off, kick to the gut by Lorenzo!
Vic Canon - He's got Don Michaels in the position to nail "ShowTime" here he goes!
Eddie Sensation - No it's a low blow by Don Michaels and THE AUTOGRAPH!! THE AUTOGRAPH!!!
The Informer - Don Michaels just hit The Autograph and he's going for the pin!
Vic Canon - 1.. 2.. KICK OUT!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - NO, NO! GOD DAMMIT! JUST GIVE UP LORENZO!
The Informer - Look at Don Michael's face he's in a state of disbelief! He cannot believe that Lorenzo Hayes kicked out of the autograph!
Vic Canon - These two men will do anything not to lose; this match has been absolutely punishing!
Eddie Sensation - My main man, Don Michaels is aggravated! Give him another Autograph Don!
The Informer - He just might do that! Don Michaels is climbing to the ropes, and Lorenzo Hayes some how has got up to his feet!
Vic Canon - Don goes for the double axe handle, but no Lorenzo punches Don Michaels right in the gut! SHOWTIME SHOWTIME SHOWTIME!!! Go for the pin!
Eddie Sensation - He isn't going for the cover! Theirs an inexperienced mistake by Lorenzo Hayes! Wait a minute Lorenzo is calling for ShowTime off of the top ropes, listen to the crowd!
The Informer - Lorenzo places Don Michaels on top of the top ropes and then follows him up there! This could be a big mistake; Lorenzo's knee must be throbbing with pain!
Vic Canon - He's got him in position, but Don Michaels is fighting it, he's throwing everything he has got at Lorenzo!
The Informer - Left and rights by Don Michaels, the two are still on the top rope!
Eddie Sensation - Come on Don! Go for his knee!
The Informer - Don has the advantage now, look how tired these two guys are! Don has reversed it and is going for another "$uperplex"!
Vic Canon - Here he goes, but no Lorenzo is holding onto the rope with his foot! Don Michaels is still trying but Lorenzo will not budge!
Eddie Sensation - Get down Don, you could get hurt!
The Informer - What a battle on the top rope! Somebody is definitely going to get hurt here!
Vic Canon - Don Michaels is screaming insanities, as Lorenzo just will not move! Wait a minute Lorenzo Hayes is throwing rights into the stomach of Michaels, and Lorenzo just swung around in a 180 degrees angle! SHOWTIME!!!! SHOWTIME!!!! SHOWTIME!!!! OFF THE TOP ROPE!
The Informer - The referee counts!
Vic Canon - 1.. 2.. 3!
Eddie Sensation - NO!!!!!!!!! HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN?!?!?
Chris Myers - And the winner of this match.... Lorenzo Hayes!
The Informer - The student became the teacher! Lorenzo Hayes did it, and he did it all by him self! What a match! These two gave it their all, and the better man came out on top!
Vic Canon - What a way to finish it; ShowTime off of the top ropes!
Eddie Sensation - Don Michaels got cheated!
The Informer - Shut the hell up! Words cannot describe how grueling that match was!
Vic Canon - Lorenzo Hayes has a mic, and Don Michaels is still down and out on the mat!
Lorenzo Hayes - Hey Don, never mess with greatness!
Eddie Sensation - Wait a minute Dominique Toto has stepped into the ring and she has a camera!
Dominique Toto - Hey Don tell me how this feels!
Vic Canon - OH MY GOD, Dominique Toto just kicked a field goal into the crown joules of Don Michaels and Lorenzo Hayes got a picture of it!
Lorenzo Hayes - See you later "$tudent"!
Earlier Today...
The Informer - I heard we have a confrontation backstage involving Tom Stone.Eddie Sensation - Well, what are we waiting for?! Lets get some cameras back there!
[ The scene is some backstage area. Tom Stone is yelling at a group of obese African Americans who are blocking a door which appears to be Tom Stone's office for this evening... ]
Tom Stone - What is the meaning of this?!
Obese African American - We be instructed to not let anybody pass...
Vic Canon - It looks like a human fence! They aren't letting Tom into his own office!
Eddie Sensation - HA! This is great!
Tom Stone - Instructed by who?!?
Obese African American - By three men ... give us ICE!
Tom Stone - They gave you ice?! BIG DEAL! I have an ice machine out back ... go knock your fat asses out.
Obese African American - No, no, no ya stupid honkey!
Tom Stone - HONKEY?!?!?
[ The three men push their arms forward and roll up their sleeves to reveal three diamond encrusted watches. ]
Obese African American - That kind of ICE, ya crackah!
Tom Stone - Crackers?! Gimme ten minutes ... I can get you some...
Obese African American - NO! WE DON'T WANT CRACKERS!!
Tom Stone - What do you want then?!?
Obese African American - We don't want NUFFIN! We ain't movin until these demands are met...
[ The man pulls out a piece of paper from his pocket and starts to read.... ]
Obese African American - T....t...t....the....
Tom Stone - This is only a three hour program! Give me that!!
[ Stone snatches the piece of paper out of the mans hand and starts to read it aloud... ]
Tom Stone - "The Ten Demandments. Number One, Though shall not discriminate. Number Two, Though shall not hire a crooked staff. Number Three, though shall not be biased. Number Four, Though shall not SCREW people over. Number Five, Though shall not make ten demandments ... five is enough. Okay Tom, you took our tag titles away from us, now we will take your office away from you. We will NEVER wrestle in an EWA ring ever AGAIN, unless there is another OFFICIAL EWA referee that is African American, a special announce team that only speak in ebonics, at least three concession stands where you can buy Watermelon slices and a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken, and a quarter of the roster must change their theme music to HIP HOP. If you can't meet all of the preceeding demands ... we will continue to TAKE from you. That is all. Love Always, The Kress Bros."
[ Tom Stone's face turns a dark red color. He crumples the paper up and throws it to the ground ... stomping off somewhere ... ]
EWA North American Title Tournament Finals
El GiGante vs. Eric Walther
Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is the FINAL MATCH of the EWA North American Title Tournament![ "Rap Superstar" by Cypress Hill blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 5'10" and weighing in at 175 pounds, from Brooklyn, New York, El GiGante!
[ El GiGante steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
[ "Judith" by A Perfect Circle blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'9" and weighing in at 297 pounds, from Washington DC, Eric Walther!
[ Eric Walther steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - This is it! Over 2 weeks of qualifying matches has come to this! El GiGante agianst Eric Walther!
Vic Canon - And this should be one hell of a match. But, you must keep in mind.... both these guys have wrestled already tonight! They're going to be very tired by the end of this! Dont be surprised if a drop kick ends this one!
Eddie Sensation - A DROP KICK?!?!!
The Informer - Well, thats pushing it Vic... but you get the idea... there's the bell!
Vic Canon - They lock up! Walther shoves GiGante back into his corner! The ref asks for a break.... but Walther knee's GiGante in the gut! Walther hooks him.... WHAM! DDT! He goes for the cover.... 1..... 2.... No, GiGante kicks out.
Eddie Sensation - Damn! I thought the match would end right there! [In mockying fasion...] Vic's got it in my head that a drop kick is going to end this one!
The Informer - Ha! Walther picks GiGante back up to his feet.... he sets him up for a powerbomb! No! GiGante with a back body drop! NO! Walther back on his feet..... WHAM!!!! CRUSIFIX POWERBOMB!!!!!
Vic Canon - And now Walther is just staring and laughing at El GiGante! Walther is man-handling him!
Eddie Sensation - Well if a Drop Kick should end this, then Walther should go for the cover! That was a powerbomb!
The Informer - Okay Eddie.... enough. The joke is dead, no need to kick it in the ribs as well.
Vic Canon - Thank you Informer. Walther kicks GiGante in the ribs, and rolls him to the outside! Walther better be careful! A DQ will cost him the title!
Eddie Sensation - Walther has GiGante by the hair.... WHAM! Right into the guardrail!
The Informer - Walther grabs him again..... WHAM!
Vic Canon - Into the steel ringpost this time! Eric Walther is in control of this one!
Eddie Sensation - Now Walther whips GiGante into the guard rail! GiGante comes stumbling back out...... SIDEWALK SLAM! Right onto the concrete floor!
The Informer - GiGante's back must be hurt, BAD! Now Walther is trying to go for the cover, but he cant! They're on the outside!
Vic Canon - And Eric Walther just realized that! He picks up GiGante, and rolls him into the ring! Walther slides in, and goes for the cover! The ref counts.... 1..... 2....
Eddie Sensation - No! GiGante has his foot on the ropes!
The Informer - "The Rifleman" Eric Walther is going right back to work! He picks up GiGante, and applies a Bear Hug!
Vic Canon - Uh oh! Walther has been out-powering GiGante the whole match... this could be it for El GiGante!
Eddie Sensation - Look at Walther squeeze down on that dirty mexican! This is what Walther had to do in the Navy you know.... he had to catch immigrants from crossing the border!!! HAHAHA!!!!
The Informer - Watch it Eddie.... we're live in Mexico, you know.... And Walther still has it applied! Squeezing harder and harder with every second that goes by!
Vic Canon - GiGante is going for Walther's eyes! But the referee just warned GiGante, and threatened to disqualify him!
Eddie Sensation - And now El GiGante is going for the ears, trying to rip them off!
The Informer - And once again the referee warns GiGante!
Vic Canon - Walther is squeezing as hard as he can! GiGante is looking for some type of way to get out of it... but he's clueless!
Eddie Sensation - OOOOOH!!!!!!! THAT DID IT!!!!! KNEE TO THE NUTS!!!!!
The Informer - MY GOD! Walther let go of GiGante IMMIDIATLY after that shot! That's GOT to hurt!
Vic Canon - And now GiGante is stumbling around, trying to catch his breath! He kicks Walther in the shoulder! And kicks him again!
Eddie Sensation - Walther goes down to the mat! El GiGante lifts him to his feet..... WHAM! JUMPING DDT!!!! GIGANTE NAILED IT!!!
The Informer - He goes for the cover, the ref counts...... 1...... 2......
Vic Canon - NO! Walther got out just in time!
Eddie Sensation - I think Walther is still trying to catch his breath from that low blow!
The Informer - That was more then a low blow Eddie! That was like a full swing KICK to the nuts!
Vic Canon - Okay guys, now mine are starting to hurt!
Eddie Sensation - [Slaps Vic] I DONT WANT TO KNOW THAT!!!!!!! GOD DAMN!!!!!!!
The Informer - [Shivers] Never did I DREAM that I would hear that.... anyway.... GiGante has Walther back on his feet.... he hooks him! BRAINBUSTER!
Vic Canon - But GiGante isnt done! He lifts Walther back up..... WHAM!!!!!! JUMPING PILEDRIVER!!!!! GIGANTE PLANTED HIM WITH THAT ONE!!!!
Eddie Sensation - He goes for the cover! The referee counts it..... 1..... 2..... No! Kickout by Walther!
The Informer - GiGante lifts Walther to his feet again.... WHAM! Fisherman Buster! And now GiGante is signaling to the crowd for the end!
Vic Canon - He's calling for "Total Annihilation"! And we saw what it did to 100 Percent earlier tonight!
Eddie Sensation - El GiGante lifts Eric Walther to his feet... he grabs Walther's neck and gets him in position.... he runs to the corner!!!
The Informer - LOOK OUT!!!!!!!!!! .....OH NO!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!! ERIC WALTHER JUST THREW EL GIGANTE OVER THE TOP ROPE, AND RIGHT THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!!!
Vic Canon - EL GIGANTE FLEW! AND I MEAN FLEW!!!!! WHAT AN AWESOME DISPLAY OF POWER BY ERIC WALTHER!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - GOOD GOD! I've NEVER seen anyone go that far in the air! SHIT!
The Informer - Eric Walther is laying in the ring, trying to regain some strength.... and now he rolls out of the ring!
Vic Canon - He walks over to the announce table, and picks up El GiGante! Walther rolls him into the ring, and crawls in....
Eddie Sensation - Walther is getting to his feet! He's not going for the cover!
The Informer - He picks up El GiGante.... and GiGante can barely stand! He's finished already!
Vic Canon - Walther bounces off the ropes..... LOOK OUT!!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - WHAM!!!!!! THE LAST SHOT!!!!!!! THE LAST SHOT!!!!!!! WALTHER NAILED IT AGAIN!!!!
The Informer - HE GOES FOR THE COVER...... 1........ 2....... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and NEW EWA North American Champion.... Eric Walther!
Vic Canon - WALTHER DID IT! ERIC WALTHER IS OUR NEW EWA NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION!!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - WHAT A MATCH! DAMN!!!
The Informer - You can say that again Eddie! Both these guys deserved this title! If we could, we would split it in half and give one peice to each man! But that's not possible... only one man could have it!
Vic Canon - And that man is Eric Walther!
Eddie Sensation - Wait a minute... I just realized something! It was the SPANISH announce table that cost the DIRTY MEXICAN the match, and title! HAHAHA!!!! WHAT ARE THEY GOOD FOR??!?!?!
The Informer - SOMEBODY CENSOR THIS BASTARD!!!!! STOP IT EDDIE!!!!!!!!
Vic Canon - Lets send it backstage!
At Thursday's House Show...
[ Tom Stone steps through the curtain with two members of Team Ballz in Ethan Tyler and Nomad. Stone looks pissed. He steps into the ring and motions for a microphone. ]Tom Stone - All right, as you all know, I am a very busy man, so I’ll only say this once. Kurt Poser, I need to have a chat with you right now, so hurry up and get out here, punk.
[ Pauses ]
Tom Stone - Cute, Poser, you made me say it twice. Nobody here is gonna jump you. Now get out here NOW!!!!!!
[ Pauses ]
[ "Internal Primates Forever" by Mudvayne blasts through the speakers. "The Krowned Prince of XXXtreme" Kurt Poser, carrying a rataan cane, slowly walks out and raises the cane above his head. He makes his way to the ring. ]
Tom Stone - Hey, hey, hey........ You have our word, we won’t hurt you. Now you gotta drop your cane if we’re gonna do this the right way.
[ Poser looks to crowd, smirks, shakes head and drops the cane. He slides into the ring and lands at Stone’s feet. He jumps up and grabs a microphone from the corner. ]
Kurt Poser - [Insincere] President Stone, what can I do for you today, sir?
Tom Stone - Well, Mr. Poser, you and I have something in common: bad taste. You see, you don’t like me, and I, well, I like you. In saying that, I mean I like your attitude. Most guys that I bring in from the minors end up on house shows and dark matches for at least half a year to a year. But you, you were right up "in the game" within two weeks of getting here. Congrats..... Congrats, eh boys?
[ Team Ballz gives a collective clap ]
Kurt Poser - [Still insincere] Hey, just doing what I gotta do, right? Your boy Chandler ain’t taking it too harshly, is he? Hey, tell him if he’s still not feeling better by tomorrow, I’ll spring for the aspirin and whiskey.
Tom Stone - I’m sure he’ll be enthused. Anyhow, business. We need to talk it. You have the kinda attitude that will indeed get you far in this business. You, someday, will be a true player. Hell, you may even get to be as good as Nomad one day...
[ Poser cracks a smile and points to Nomad ]
Tom Stone - Yeah, Nomad. But, hey, we can’t really involve you in too many matches till we get you off this pay-per-appearance basis, can we? We need to sign you to a contract immediately. One that a man of your obvious talent deserves. And do that we shall, very soon.
Kurt Poser - A contract? Now Mr. Suit is starting to make a little sense. You’re not as out of touch as your clothing might suggest, [Nudges Stone] BOSS.
Tom Stone - Clever. Very clever. I guess we’re done here then. You may go now, Po..... Oh wait, I forgot to explain to you one thing. We have a very strict security code here that keeps the wrestlers safe from idiot fans. Should anyone be stupid enough to attempt an attack on one of my finely tuned athletic machines, they will be dealt with in the harshest legal manner. As is just, correct?
Kurt Poser - Yeah....... Sure, I guess. Why?
[ The EWA Big Screen shows footage of Heat where Poser interferes in main event, whacking Chandler with a chair. ]
Tom Stone - Poser, you don’t technically work for this company yet. And, while we are looking forward to working with the king of XXXtreme, or whatever your wicked gimmick is, a policy is a policy. [Looks to ramp] Gentlemen!!!
[ Five police officers slowly sloth their way down the ramp, while Poser stands there quietly, staring a hole through Stone. The officers get little trouble from Poser in handcuffing him. Team Ballz shares a good laugh at Poser’s expense. Nomad then grabs a can of spraypaint and spraypaints "TB" on Poser’s back. Poser shakes his head and shouts something at Stone as he is lead away by the boys in blue. ]
Pre-Match Interview with "Tricky" Tiki Tortez
[ The camera fades in to the backstage area here at the EWA PPV: Rival Schoolz. The area is dimmed to a slight darkness, when suddenly Rachel Stevens steps into view. On her right is none other than EWA Extreme Champion Tiki Tortez. He is all suited up for his match and wet from his shower. ]Rachel Stevens - Hello Mr. Tortez...I am here to...
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Interview me for my upcoming match...yeah I know...get on with it.
Rachel Stevens - Tiki, don't treat me like an ass today, I'm not in the mood!
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Why...that time of the month?
Rachel Stevens - Shut up and let's just get this over with...you are so immature.
[ Tiki is grinning in the background. ]
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Ok, shoot.
Rachel Stevens - [Sighs] This is a big night for you tonight...you are defending your title in a match that you have never participated in...a tables match. Do you feel intimidated at all about the stipulations?
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Intimidated? Hell, I made up the idea. I went to Tom and told him to set this match. I am not intimidated one bit. It's going to be fun watching that fag's head go straight those hard wood. Although, he will probably like hard wood. Oh hell, it's just going to be fun when he is out cold and I am the victor.
Rachel Stevens - Oh really...and you think it's going to be that easy?
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Of course...why not?
Rachel Stevens - Frankly because Divine is a two-time Extreme Champion, and what you did two him two weeks ago on Heat, was nothing more than humiliating. I wouldn't be surprised if he comes into this match like a rabid dog.
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Rachel...the only rabid dog here is you! I am not scared of Divine.
Rachel Stevens - I think you are...whenever you have a tough question, you change the subject. Is there something you happen to be hiding?
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - What are you talking about...you said rabid dog, and I immediately thought you. Unless of course, you are still stuck on those camels?
Rachel Stevens - Ok, drop it.
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - You brought it up.
Rachel Stevens - Whatever...I have another question. What is the deal with Society X as of late. It seems as though they have been running around on their own.
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - That's because I don't hold anyone back. Those two mofo's (Sein/Storm) are doing exactly what they want and look at what they did...they are the tag-tam champions!
Rachel Stevens - No they're not!!! They stole the titles from the Regulators!
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - You are welcome to your own opinions, everyone else knows the truth.
Rachel Stevens - You make me sick sometimes. And what are these rumors about something big going down at the PPV concerning Society X?
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - The big thing is...we are Society X. Everyone is going to show up just to see what happens in our matches. That's because they want to see the champions do what they do best...win.
Rachel Stevens - Geez, did you ever think that you are a little self centered?
[ Tiki jumps back in amazement...sarcastically of course. ]
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Whatever do you mean. We have all the rights to do that. I am the Extreme Champion for 60+ days...no one can beat me, and no one ever will. Sein and Storm are on top of their game, so that's not a problem. We have every right to do what we do so don't try to deny us that right. For we are Society X bitch.
Rachel Stevens - Don't ever call me a bitch!
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Why?
Rachel Stevens - Because I will have to drop you the next time I hear that.
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Oh really?
Rachel Stevens - Yes, now I have one more question!
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Didn't you already say you only had one more question?
Rachel Stevens - No!
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Oh, this thing is taking so long I just figured you did. Oh, you might as well finish up then. No skin off my back...you are only raising my popularity level.
Rachel Stevens - Whatever...let's just get this over with!
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - THEN ASK!!!
Rachel Stevens - Ok, my last question is...aw screw it...my last question is why you are such a prick!?
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Ah, it all happened when this bitch showed up at my dressing room about 3 weeks ago, I think her name was Stevens. She was one ugly ho...well, she wouldn't leave although she knew I didn't want her skanky ass interviewing me. Time went by and she kept coming back...guess what, I don't even give a damn about her and she is interviewing me right now...hey, you are that Stevens lady...wow.
Rachel Stevens - You are an asshole...I am outta here!
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Ok, see ya around.
[ Tiki slams the door in her face as he laughs out loud. Rachel's face turns bright red as she turns back to the camera. ]
Rachel Stevens - I can't stand that prick...back to you guys.
EWA Extreme Title Tables Match
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez vs. Divine
Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is an EWA Extreme Title Tables Match![ "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'8" and weighing in at 325 pounds, from Candy Land, Divine!
[ Divine steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
[ "Break Out" by Foo Fighters blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'6" and weighing in at 252 pounds, from Lisbon, New York, the EWA Extreme Champion... "Tricky" Tiki Tortez!
[ The EWA Extreme Champion, "Tricky" Tiki Tortez steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - This is a TABLES Match fans! Putting your opponent through a table will win you the Extreme Title!
Vic Canon - It's quite a simple concept... and it will be one hell of a match to call!
Eddie Sensation - There's the bell! WHAM!
The Informer - OOH!!! Divine NAILED Tortez in the head with a garbage can lid! That metal lid bent right in half on impact! And Divine throws Tortez out of the ring.
Vic Canon - Divine goes through the ropes slowly, and lands on his feet on the outside. He picks up Tortez and throws him into the steel steps!
Eddie Sensation - YUCK!!!!!!
The Informer - Good god.... now Divine is feeling Tiki Tortez's chest! Tiki just rolled away and is crawling away from Divine!
Vic Canon - Look at Divine! He likes this! He likes seeing Tortez crawl away from him! OOH!!!! Divine kicks Tortez in the ribs!!!
Eddie Sensation - Divine lifts him to his feet.... WHAM! RIGHT INTO THE RING POST GOES "TRICKY" TIKI TORTEZ!!!
The Informer - And now Divine is looking under the ring for something! Uh oh! He's got a table!
Vic Canon - This could be the end of Tiki Tortez and his Extreme Title reign! Divine sets up the table right infront of the entrance ramp, and lift Tortez to his feet.
Eddie Sensation - Here comes a title change!!!!!!
The Informer - Divine grabs Tortez.... HIP TOSS!!!! OOOOOH!!!! NO!!! NO NO NO!!!! TORTEZ WENT FLYING OVER THE TABLE!!!! DIVINE THREW HIM TOO FAR!!!!
Vic Canon - DAMN! Tortez was about 3 inches away from losing his title! And now he's out on the concrete floor again!
Eddie Sensation - Divine picks him up, and throws him into the guard rail!
The Informer - Divine charges at him.... LOOK OUT!!! TORTEZ BACK BODY DROPPED DIVINE INTO THE FANS!!!!
Vic Canon - All the fans moved! Divine landed on his back, into a pile of chairs! Thats gotta hurt!
Eddie Sensation - But this is going to hurt even more!!
The Informer - ....WHAM!!!! TORTEZ NAILS DIVINE WITH A CHAIR SHOT!!!! WHAM!!! AGAIN!!! AND AGAIN!!!!!
Vic Canon - The Extreme Champ drops the chair, and lifts Divine to his feet. He grabs him by the neck, and leads him through the crowd!
Eddie Sensation - Where are they going?!
The Informer - Well, right now they're in the backstage area.... we're trying to get a camera back there!
Vic Canon - And we have a visual!! There's Tortez, slamming Divine's head into random things as he walks by them! And now they're headed for the parking lot!
Eddie Sensation - Uh oh! Someone's car is going to get damaged!
The Informer - Tortez throws Divine's body onto a car, and walks out of the scene... where'd he go?
Vic Canon - I have no clue... but Divine is up on his feet, wondering the same thing! Now Divine is running for cover! He's going inside our Satellite truck!
Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT!!!!!!!!
The Informer - WHAM!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!! A CAR JUST WENT STRAIGHT INTO THE TRUCK AND--
*Static* Vic Canon - Fans, if yo--
*Static* *Static* *Static* The Informer - Divine i--
*Static* Vic Canon - WHAM!!! TORT--
*Static* *Static* *Static* Eddie Sensation - HA! He nailed him with that sh--
*Static* *Static* [ Text appears on the screen. "The EWA is having technical difficulties. The problems will be fixed shortly" ]
*Static* *More static* *More and more static* The Informer - DID YOU SEE TH---
*Static* *Static* Vic Canon - I CAN'T BELEIVE THAT H--
*Static* *Static* *Static* The Informer - And now Tortez is dragging Divine up some stairs!
Vic Canon - I've just received word that some fans watching over satellite have just re-joined us... we're sorry about those problems!
Eddie Sensation - HA!! They got cut off?! Damn! They missed one hell of a match!
The Informer - Oh great! Tortez and Divine are now OUTSIDE of the Reunion Arena! LOOK OUT!!!
Vic Canon - They're heading right for that street! Tiki Tortez JUST MISSED getting hit by a car!
Eddie Sensation - Damn! They've taken this "Extreme" Match to a new level!
The Informer - And now they're inside a bingo hall! Look at the bingo security! They dont know what the hell to do! They're staying out of the way!
Vic Canon - Divine lifts Tortez.... WHAM!!!!
Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!!!! TORTEZ JUST GOT SLAMMED INTO SOME OLD GUY!!! THE OLD MAN IS TWITCHING ON THE FLOOR!!!
The Informer - EDDIE, THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!!
Vic Canon - Oh boy! Now look at all the old ladies! They're throwing their dabbers at Divine and are hitting him with their bags!
Eddie Sensation - Divine turns around... LOOK OUT!!!!!
The Informer - TRICK OR TREAT!!!!!! WHAM!!!!!!!!!!!! HE NAILED IT!!!! RIGHT THREW A BINGO TABLE!!!!! TORTEZ HAS WON!!!! TIKI TORTEZ HAS RETAINED HIS TITLE!!!!
Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and STILL EWA Extreme Champion... "Tricky" Tiki Tortez!
Vic Canon - Wow! What a great ending to a great match! Tiki Tortez is on his way to becoming the greatest EWA Extreme Champion of all-time... and it doesnt look like anybody is going to stop him!
Eddie Sensation - HA!!! NOW THE OLD LADIES ARE ATTACKING TORTEZ!!!!!
The Informer - No! Tiki runs out of the bingo hall, and back into the Reunion Arena! Lets send it backstage to Rob DiMarco, who's waiting for Tiki!
Post-Match Interview with "Tricky" Tiki Tortez
[ The camera fades in to Rob DiMarco catching up with Tiki Tortez. He gets to his side and begins to speak. ]Rob DiMarco - Hey Tiki...Tortez, can I get a word with you?
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - No.
Rob DiMarco - This is really important!
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - Fine...what is it?
Rob DiMarco - You just put Divine through a living hell, what are your comments on the match?
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - You call that important? Get the hell out of my face!
Rob DiMarco - No wait...
"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - No you listen...leave now before I kick your ass. And that is not a lie!
[ Tiki shoves DiMarco to the floor as Tortez continues to walk back to his dressing room. ]
Rob DiMarco - [mumbles] Prick...
Earlier Today...
The Informer - We have an update on the 'Tom Stone office room hostage situation.' Lets take ya backstage....[ Tom Stone is screaming like a women blasting the human fence with a fire hose. They are all falling over each other and running away as Stone turns the pressure down and kicks open his office door... ]
Tom Stone - Tom Stone's coming home MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!
[ Brian and Adam are sitting side by side at a desk while Scott Sanders lunges towards Stone. ]
Eddie Sensation - Stone just kicked 'The Losing Legend' in the junk!!
Vic Canon - What's this?! Stone is signaling for something....
The Informer - OH GOD! A TOM-STONE PILEDRIVER!!!!
Eddie Sensation - I LOVE IT! NOW HE'S KICKING HIM IN THE SIDE... HE'S SIGNALING AGAIN... A PUNISHING LEG DROP TO THE CROUCH AREA!!!
The Informer - And the Kress Brothers are out of there!
[ Stone pulls himself to his feet and brushes off his suit. He rolls Scott Sanders out of his office and slams the door. ]
Vic Canon - Tom Stone is like a wild beast! But look how calm he is now just sitting down in his swivel chair like nothing has happened...
Tom Stone - Stupid bitches... nobody takes my office away from me and gets away with it....
Pre-Match Interview with Ethan Storm & Christian Sein
[ The scene cuts backstage and we see Rachel Stevens sitting down on a large leather couch enjoying some fresh fruits. Rachel seems to be ecstatic as she smiles contentedly at her luck at finding the gold mine of food just sitting there unattended. She has a microphone in her left hand and the odd drool drips down her face onto the mic. Suddenly, the doors of the room fly open and Ethan Storm and Christian Sein step in, Ethan shouts outside at the incompetent employees and as he turns around, he sees Rachel helping herself, and a look of shock crosses his face, and that is soon followed by a rye smile that Ethan has made famous. ]Ethan Storm - HA.. I knew you couldn't resist me baby. you just had to come back for more.
Rachel Stevens - Wrong asshole! I'm here to interview you and Christian about your match with The Regulators. And believe me Ethan, this is a VERY important interview, ya hear?
Ethan Storm - I um. don't hear, but sure as hell see!
Rachel Stevens - Ugh. you wrestlers, you're all so immature! So driven by sexual tendencies!
[ Ethan gives Rachel a "What the fuck did you just say?!" look. ]
Christian Sein - Ethan. she means you ALWAYS talk about sex!
Ethan Storm - Ah. I see, wait.. HEY!
Rachel Stevens - HAHA! Let's just continue with the interview shall we? Great. now Ethan, Christian. you two are about to step into probably the biggest match of your young careers so far.. So what are your thoughts about it?
Christian Sein - This is undoubtedly the biggest and most important match we've had so far in the EWA. and we are determined to come out with OUR tag-team titles!
Rachel Stevens - Your tag-team titles?! I believe you're wrong on that one. those titles rightfully belong to The Regulators! You simply stole them like the cowardly infants you are!
Ethan Storm - Wha. what?!? Cowardly? Infant? WELL! I may be infant like! But I sure as hell ain't Cowardly!
Rachel Stevens - You have no clue what you just said, have you?
Ethan Storm - Nooot a clue.
Rachel Stevens - Anyway, do you two realistically think that you can beat the Regulators? After all.. They are the best team EWA has to offer at the moment.
Christian Sein - I assure you Rachel, The Regs are NOT the best EWA has to offer. two words. Society X.
Ethan Storm - He's right Rach..
Rachel Stevens - Shhhh Ethan! Christian is answering this one!
Ethan Storm - Oh. I see, so what you're saying is that you have feelings towards Christian and you just want to shun me?! I. I. don't believe you!
Rachel Stevens - Looks like I've finally hit your weak spot Ethan! I am gonna hold this against you for sooooooooo long!
Ethan Storm - Damn you hoes! You're all so. well. smart!
Christian Sein - Anyway, as I was saying, Regulators - Society X.. Regs may have the fans, but we have the talent, we have the charisma! And we DON'T have a grunting excuse for a man within our ranks.
Rachel Stevens - Yes. that is true, but you can't underestimate The Regulators. and we running short on time, so do you either of you have any last words?
Ethan Storm - Yeah. I'll give you two. FUCK YOU!
[ Ethan and Christian then run out of the room and make their way towards the ring. ]
Pre-Match Interview with The Regulators
Rob DiMarco - I'm standing here with the current Tag Team Champs, Johnny Rage and Rick Ramos, the Regulators, who haven't made an actual appearance on television since the heinous attack that Ethan Storm and Christian Sein purpotrated on you two weeks ago on Tuesday Night Heat. Now, Johnny, whats on your mind?Johnny Rage - Whats on my mind? I'll tell you whats on my mind. I'm watching the Olymipics last nite from Sydney Australlia, and I'm thinking, WHY THE FUCK DO ALL THE LOSER CITIES GET THE WINTER OLYMPICS? I mean, Lillehammer, Norway? Nagano, Japan? Grenoble, France?
Rick Ramos - Grunt.
Johnny Rage - True, Andre the Giant was from Grenoble, but his big ass is dead now.
Rick Ramos - Grunt.
Johnny Rage - I'm glad you aspire to be as tall as he was...
Rick Ramos - Grunt.
Johnny Rage - You hope to accomplish this goal through jumping jacks.
Rick Ramos - [Does jumping jacks]
Rob DiMarco - Guys Guys!!! I meant about the attack, what are your thoughts on the attack.
Johnny Rage - Oh. Well Dimarco, we've been a part of the EWA for a long time, and we've been on a lot of Tueday Night Heats... and I don't think we have ever once spent Wednesday Morning in a Hospital Room...
Rick Ramos - Grunt.
Johnny Rage - True, that hooker gave you an STD something nasty.
Rick Ramos - Grunt. [Scratches genitals]
Johnny Rage - That doesn't count though. Sein, Storm, you guys got one up on us, we'll give you that... and we certinally can't take you lightly, no matter how new you are, because not a lot of teams have done that to us before... But you know what? You also disgraced everything we have ever worked for two weeks ago. When you stole our belts, you disgraced our years of training, our years of blood, sweat, and tears we gave to this sport to earn those. You guys will get your chance eventually... but not now, and not tonite.
Rob DiMarco - What about their stablemate, Tricky Tiki Tortez?
Johnny Rage - I dunno what Titty--
Rob DiMarco - Tricky.
Johnny Rage - Either way. Anyway, I don't know what Titty plans on doing...if he interfers, thats his call...
Rick Ramos - Grunt!!!
Johnny Rage - No! I don't to use...
Kamala - Grr.
Johnny Rage - No Rick!
Rick Ramos - Grunt!!!
Johnny Rage - I don't care if he is the fucking Ugandan Giant! He is not coming to the ring with us!!!
Rick Ramos - Grunt? [Begins rubbing Kamala's tummy]
Kamala - HeHeHe
Johnny Rage - HE IS NOT CUTE!!!
Rob DiMarco - I dunno, he does look pretty sweet. Plus the stars across his man boobs are lovely. Can I touch them?
Kamala - Clickity Click Clock Clik Clook. [Rough Translation: I like eggs.]
Rick Ramos - Grunt!
Rob DiMarco - [Cops a feel]
Johnny Rage - Rick...NO BRINGING KAMALA TO THE RING!!!
Rick Ramos - [Sulks] Grunt......
Rob DiMarco - Umm...back to you guys?
EWA Tag Team Title Match
The Regulators vs. Christian Sein & Ethan Storm
Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is an EWA Tag Team Title Match![ "Fade To Black" by Metallica blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Introducing first... representing Society X, at a total combined weight of 455 pounsd.... Ethan Storm & Christian Sein!
[ Ethan Storm & Christian Sein step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring. ]
[ "Regulators" by Warren G feat. Nate Dogg blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And their opponents... at a total combined weight of 520 pounds, the EWA Tag Team Champions.... Johnny Rage and Rick Ramos, The Regulators!
[ The Regulators steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
Eddie Sensation - Myers screwed up the announcement! Sein and Storm are the Tag Team Champions!
The Informer - Oh shut up Eddie... You KNOW they stole the titles, and thats all. But tonight, I'm confident that The Regulators will show them who the REAL champions are!
Vic Canon - Sein and Storm are on opposite sides of the ring.... and they both slide in! The Regulators both turn around, and face their opponents! Sein and Storm swing for clotheslines... No! The Regs duck, and Sein and Storm clothesline each other down!
Eddie Sensation - DAMMIT! Get up!
The Informer - Storm gets up... DROP KICK by Ramos puts him over the top rope!
Vic Canon - Rage lifts Sein to his feet... WHAM! Double Arm DDT! And Ethan Storm pulls Christian Sein out of the ring by his leg!
Eddie Sensation - Time to re-group!
The Informer - And that's exactly what they're doing! Wait a minute.... Sein and Storm just grabbed the Tag Team Titles, and now they're heading backstage!
Vic Canon - But The Regulators are right behind them! Sein and Storm go threw the curtain...... and so do the Regulators!
Eddie Sensation - Can we get a camera back there please?!
The Informer - There! There's Sein and Storm.... it looks like they're waiting for The Regulators to come through that curtain! There they are! WHAM!!! WHAM!!!
Vic Canon - GOOD GOD!!! SEIN AND STORM JUST NAILED BOTH REGUALTORS WITH THOSE TAG TEAM TITLES!!!!
Eddie Sensation - HAHA!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!
The Informer - Sein and Storm now drop the titles, and start dragging The Regulators back to the ring! OOOH!!!! Storm slams Rage's head against the guard rail! WHAM!!! Sein whips Ramos into the ring apron, back first!
Vic Canon - Storm rolls Rage into the ring.... and goes for the pin! The ref counts... 1... 2..... No! Rage gets out in time!
Eddie Sensation - Ethan Storm gets up, and kicks Rage in the back a few times! And now a few kicks to the head!
The Informer - Rick Ramos and Christian Sein are finally back in their proper spots on the ring apron... WHAM! Storm nails Rage with a Piledriver!
Vic Canon - Perfectly executed! Storm goes for the cover.... 1..... 2.....
Eddie Sensation - 3!
The Informer - No! SHUT UP EDDIE, you wish it was three! But Rage kicked out.
Vic Canon - Ethan Storm runs to the ropes..... LOOK OUT!! WHAM!!!
Eddie Sensation - YES!!! ASAI MOONSAULT! WHAT A MOVE!!!
The Informer - And Storm goes for the cover again! 1.... 2..... No! Rick Ramos breaks up the pin!
Vic Canon - Now the ref is going over to tell Ramos to stay put... and while the referee is distracted, Christian Sein throws Ethan Storm some kind of rope!
Eddie Sensation - HAHA!!! YES!!! CHOKE HIM!!! CHOKE HIM OUT!!!
The Informer - OH NO!!! ETHAN STORM IS CHOKING JOHNNY RAGE WITH THAT ROPE!!! THE REFEREE DOESNT KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!!
Vic Canon - And finally, the referee turns around! Ethan Storm throws the rope out of the ring just in time!
Eddie Sensation - Storm goes for the cover again! The ref counts.... 1..... 2.....
The Informer - No! Rage kicks out! And now Storm tags in Sein! Storm lifts Rage to his feet, and whips him into the corner! Sein jumps over the ropes... grabs Rage... and NAILS HIM with a Tornado DDT!
Vic Canon - He goes for the cover.... the ref counts.... 1...... 2..... No! Johnny Rage kicks out again! Rage needs a tag DESPERATLY!
Eddie Sensation - Damn right he does! But Sein and Storm are going to make sure he doesnt get that tag!
The Informer - Sein picks up Rage, and throws him to the ropes. Rage bounces back..... SPINEBUSTER! Damn! He nailed it! And now he goes for the cover.... 1..... 2..... No! Rage kicks out yet again.
Vic Canon - But Christian Sein goes back to work. He lifts Rage to his feet, and throws him into the ropes again! Rage runs right back into Sein.... WHAM! Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker!
Eddie Sensation - COVER HIM!!! COVER HIM!!!
The Informer - He goes for the pin... the ref counts, 1.... 2..... No! Rage gets his shoulder up! And now Sein goes back over to Ethan Storm for the tag! Sein sets up Rage in a DDT.... Storm steps up.... OOH!!!! SPIKE DDT!!!!!
Vic Canon - Sein runs over and nails Ramos off the apron! Storm goes for the cover on Rage! 1..... 2......... NOOHHH!!!!! HE JUST GOT OUT!!!
Eddie Sensation - DAMMIT!!!! GET THE DAMN 3 ALREADY!!!!
The Informer - Uh oh! Now Ramos has a steel chair! He's pissed! He rolls into the ring... Sein slides out of the ring! But Ethan Storm holds his ground! Ramos swings at him.... Storm moves out of the way, and grabs Ramos in a powerbomb attempt! NO! REVERSED! BACK BODY DROP BY RAMOS!
Vic Canon - Storm gets right back up, and Ramos scoops him up! LOOK OUT!!!! WHAM!!!!!!! REVERSE SHOULDER BREAKER!!!!!!!! ETHAN STORM IS SET UP FOR THE DE-REGULATOR!!!! RAGE JUST HAS TO GET UP!!!!
Eddie Sensation - NO!!! SEIN, DO SOMETHING!!!!
The Informer - Ramos runs back into his corner, and Rage crawls over slowly..... YES!!! HE MAKES THE TAG!!!!
Vic Canon - Rick Ramos gets into the ring... and Christian Sein slides back in! Sein runs into Ramos.... LEFT HAND! Sein goes down! He gets back up again.... RIGHT HAND!!!
Eddie Sensation - STORM, GET UP! DAMMIT!!!!
The Informer - Johnny Rage is back up! And he's climbing the tournbuckle, right over Ethan Storm! Remember guys! Ethan Storm and Rick Ramos are the legal men!
Vic Canon - Ramos scoops up Sein...... WHAM!!!! REVERSE SHOULDER BREAKER!!!!! AND RICK RAMOS PLACES SEIN RIGHT ONTOP OF STORM!!!!! RAGE IS READY ON THE TOP ROPE!!! LOOK OUT!!!!
Eddie Sensation - NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
The Informer - WWWWHAM!!!!!!!! DOUBLE DE-REGULATOR!!!!! RAGE NAILED IT!!!!!! RAMOS COVERS STORM..... THE REF COUNTS..... 1..... 2...... 3!!!!!!
Chris Myers - The winners of this match, and STILL EWA Tag Team Champions... The Regulators!
Vic Canon - And The Regulators re-claim their Tag Team Titles!
Eddie Sensation - DAMMIT! Sein and Storm BLEW IT!
The Informer - You can say that again! Well, the Regs are walking backstage with their Tag Titles over their shoulders. Lets send it backstage.
Backstage...
[ "Tricky" Tiki Tortez is shown heading out of the arena. As he approaches what seems to be his car, out of nowhere, a kendo stick whacks him over the head. As the camera quickly turns its attention to the man wielding the kendo stick, it's Arthryn. He smiles wickedly as Tortez falls to his knees. Another shot to the head of Tortez sends him back first to the floor. As Arthryn is about to beat up on a fallen Tortez, Christian Sein and Ethan Storm run into the scene. Arthryn notices them, and hits them both with the kendo stick. As all 3 men are on the ground, Arthryn keeps a vicious assault on Tortez. Security crew members then come out to push Arthryn off of Tortez. Arthryn, almost yelling, says: ]Arthryn - Tortez, that's the beginning of the hunt. Make note of that!
Backstage...
[ Fades in to Tom Stone's office ]*KNOCK KNOCK* [ Tom yells come in. Moments later Christian Sein and Ethan Storm enter Tom Stone's office. ]
Christian Sein - Hey Tom...listen up...
Tom Stone - That's MR. STONE. Now proceed.
Christian Sein - We were robbed! The Regulators stole our titles!
Tom Stone - You know what, shut the hell up. You two have been nothing more than idiots since the day I accepted you into this federation. I should fire both of you right now!
Ethan Storm - Hold up Tommy...I mean Mr. Stone [sarcastic]. You can't just fire us on the spot. What the hell did we do?
Tom Stone - You guys are pathetic and wasting my time. If you want to prove yourselves, sign a match that you can show your talent. Now as for tonight, get out!
Christian Sein - Fine, but hear me out first...
Tom Stone - No...GO!
Ethan Storm - Don't worry, you'll hear from us soon!
[ Storm and Sein leave the room. Sein looks frustrated...but Storm has an evil smile on his face. He has an idea. ]
Pre-Match Interview with Ethan Tyler, Nomad & Serial Thrylla
Rob DiMarco - Standing with me now are the three men that will attempt to take out The New Resistance, Cody Covington, Anton Bailey, and The Brink. Of course I mean Serial Thrylla, Nomad, and Ethan Tyler... What kid of thoughts do you have going into this match gentlemen? Or should I shut up and just walk away like usual?[ Tyler casually smiles at DiMarco ]
Ethan Tyler - You won't need to shut up and walk away, because we'll handle you ourselves.
[ Nomad grabs DiMarco and pushes him away ]
Ethan Tyler - The time for promos has ended. DiMarco learned the ultimate sin, NEVER say attempt to a member of Team Ballz, because we always succeed.
Nomad - We always prevail. There isn't one motherfucker on this planet who can even DREAM of taking down Team Ballz. We are, and always will be, the shit. The New Resistance? Please. That's just a cheap knock-off of Revolution~X. Only with a lot more jobbers, and no one worth mentioning.
Serial Thrylla - Suicide.... that's all this is.... A triple suicide. You three made a huge mistake a few weeks ago challenging us and tonight, you pay the god damn piper. Bailey, Brink, and Covington, you three talk a real big game. BUT NO ONE talks a bigger game than Team Ballz. Bailey, Brink, and Covington, you three fight a big game. BUT NO ONE brings a tougher fucking fight than Team Ballz. In two minutes, We prove to you three and the world that there isn't a soul left on the planet earth that can silence us.
Ethan Tyler - You know what else? We're strong, real strong. Nomad, soon to be the longest reigning International champion the EWA has ever seen. Serial Thrylla, the most over and cocky mother fucker out there, and the knee's doin fine too. Chandler, EWA World Champion, if that doesn't say strong, then open your eyes and quit hiding. Then you have me, the man who will do ANYTHING that is deemed necessary to get the W. Brink, Covington, Bailey, don't even walk out to the ring tonight.....
Nomad - Ah, Brinky, what a path we've walked together. We've had some epics, my friend. But if I recall, I've pretty much got the one-up on you. You've never really been able to get the job done, and do you know why? Because I'm the best there is, and you....well, you're not. I've beaten the best of the best in this sport. I've stood on top of the mountain, and the only man who could dethrone me was three-time World Champ, Chandler. I have a list of victories so impressive that I don't even need to put down the time I kicked YOUR sorry ass. But hey, I put it down anyways just to make you feel like a cock. You pose no threat to me, Brink. NONE. Kicking your sorry little ass is just a form of amusement for me. Entertainment, a way to pass the time when I get bored. You always have been, and always will be, a second-rate Nomad clone. A Nomad clone who's about to meet his Journey's End.
Ethan Tyler - Covington Covington Covington... Now I see what you saw in that girl... Such sweet sweet lips.... How did it feel? How did it feel to look through that crimson mask and see her crying? How did it feel to see me standing above you, laughing at you? How much did it piss you off to see her kiss me? Show me in the ring pretty boy. Show me what'cha got.
Serial Thrylla - The New Resistance... Just another joke. What's the difference between us and them? No, not that we're better athletes, or that we're smarter, or that we've got more experience... What's the difference between us and them? We're originals. We have nothing to lose, no one to please but ourselves. Unlike you three, because when you fail, you'll dissapoint not only yourselves, but 5 million other mindless drones. Just remember, we're the original fucking resistance... We just faught the system and won, numerous times. You three are simply tools... And tonight, Team Ballz is going to break every un-original bone in the bodies of YOUR heros. You can't stop us........ We're a juggernaut.
6 Man Tag Team Match
Cody Covington / The Brink / Anton Bailey vs. Ethan Tyler / Nomad / Serial Thrylla
Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a 6 Man Tag Team Elimination Match![ "Loose" by Primer 55 blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'4" and weighing in at 260 pounds, from Tucson, Arizona, Anton Bailey!
[ Anton Bailey steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
[ "My Own Summer (Shove It)" by Defontes blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And his partner... standing 6'6" and weighing in at 283 pounds, from Miami, Florida, "Crystal Clear" Cody Covington!
[ "Crystal Clear" Cody Covington steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
[ "I" by Taproot blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And their partner... standing 6'6" and weighing in at 266 pounds, from Charlotte, NC, The Brink!
[ The Brink steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
[ "So What'Cha Want" by Beastie Boys blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And their opponents... Introducing first... standing 6'3" and weighing in at 246 pounds, from Portland, Oregon, "The Facilitator" Ethan Tyler!
[ "The Facilitator" Ethan Tyler steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
[ "Time Bomb" by Godsmack blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - Next... standing 6'2" and weighing in at 256 pounds, from New York, New York, the EWA International Champion... Nomad!
[ The EWA International Champion, Nomad steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
[ "Everything's Cool" PWEI blasts through the speakers... ]
Chris Myers - And finally... standing 6'2" and weighing in at 237 pounds, from Syracuse, New York, Serial Thrylla!
[ Serial Thrylla steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring. ]
The Informer - This match is bound to cause problems... we have 3 angered rivalries all in one!
Vic Canon - A-Yup. Nomad and The Brink.... Ethan Tyler and Cody Covington... Serial Thrylla and Anton Bailey. And as we all know, Thrylla's got a knee that isn't in too great of a shape!
Eddie Sensation - Yeah... Ethan Tyler accidentally nailed Thrylla in the knee with a hockey stick 2 weeks ago.
The Informer - You call that a mistake? HA!
Eddie Sensation - Are you trying to say that he inteded to hurt his knee?
The Informer - Nope... didnt say that! Dont twist my words Eddie! There's the bell! The Brink is starting this one off against Ethan Tyler!
Vic Canon - They lock up! The Brink knee's Tyler in the gut.... WHAM! Indigo Flow DDT!!
Eddie Sensation - Damn! Tyler didnt see that one coming!
The Informer - The Brink waits for Tyler to get to his feet... and he slowly does. Tyler spinds around and look for the Brink.... WHAM! The Brink connects with a clothesline! He goes for the cover.... 1..... 2.... No! Tyler kicks out easily!
Vic Canon - The Brink lifts him to his feet again.... WHAM! Hostile DDT! And now The Brink tags in Anton Bailey! Bailey goes for the cover... 1... 2.... No! Nomad breaks up the pin!
Eddie Sensation - Now's Tylers chance to take control! He's in the ring with a rookie!
The Informer - Thats how much you know Eddie! Bailey isn't a rookie! He's been around for a lot longer then you think! Anyway, back to the action... Bailey lifts Tyler to his feet. He hooks him.... Cradle Suplex!
Vic Canon - Bailey hooks the leg, and goes for the cover.... 1..... 2.... No! Ethan Tyler with an easy kickout! Anton Bailey picks him up again... he scoops him onto his shoulder! RUNNING POWERSLAM!
Eddie Sensation - NO! Tyler slid down his back, and shoved Bailey into the corner!
The Informer - Bailey stumbles backwards... WHAM!!! INVERTED DDT BY TYLER! He goes for the cover... 1...... 2..... No! Cody Covington kicked Tyler in the back of the head, and Tyler chased Cody out of the ring!
Vic Canon - Those two hate each other! Tyler wants to get his hands on him, but right now he must focus on Bailey! Ethan Tyler lifts him to his feet... WHAM! PILEDRIVER! Tyler gets right back up to his feet...
Eddie Sensation - He runs to the ropes!
The Informer - LOOK OUT!!! WHAM!!!!! ASAI MOONSAULT!!!!! TYLER NAILED IT!!! He goes for the cover.... the ref counts.... 1....... 2....... NO! The Brink breaks up the pin!
Vic Canon - That could have been it for Anton Bailey! Lucky for him, The Brink saved him. Tyler goes back to work now... He grabs Bailey, Reverse Neckbreaker! NO! Bailey shoves Tyler into the ropes.... Ethan Tyler comes bouning back... SPINEBUSTER BY BAILEY!!!!
Eddie Sensation - DAMN!!!! That's gonna leave a mark!
The Informer - And now Bailey is crawling over to his corner! He's going to make the tag for sure! Who's it going to be to??
Vic Canon - ....CODY COVINGTON! Covington is in the ring! Tyler is up.... Covington chrages at him! CLOTHESLINE OVER THE TOP ROPE! And BOTH MEN go over the top!
Eddie Sensation - Cody is all over Tyler on the outside! He's punching him in the face over and over again!
The Informer - Tyler shoves Cody off of him, and gets up! Cody gets to his feet, and charges at Tyler! Ethan Tyler side steps him.... Hip Toss right onto the concrete floor! Cody's in a world of hurt!
Vic Canon - And now Ethan Tyler is on Cody, punching HIM in the face!
[ The bell sounds ]
Eddie Sensation - What the hell?
Chris Myers - Ladies and Gentlemen, if I could have your attention please....... I have been informed that both Cody Covington and Ethan Tyler have been ELIMINATED, due to a Double Count Out!
The Informer - DAMN!!!!! Covington AND Tyler have been eliminated! That sucks! There goes a third of this match's excitement!
Vic Canon - Hey, look! The Brink AND Bailey are in the ring! Nomad and Thrylla are watching Tyler and Covington brawl it out! Bailey dropkicks Nomad off the apron! Brink jumps....
Eddie Sensation - OH NO!!!!
The Informer - GOOD GOD!!! THE BRINK DROP KICKS SERIAL THRYLLA RIGHT IN HIS BAD KNEE!!!!!!
Vic Canon - And Thrylla collapses to the ground like a sac of potatoes! Bailey slides out of the ring, and rolls Thrylla into the ring!
Eddie Sensation - This doesnt look too good for Thrylla! He's in bad shape now!
The Informer - Damn right Eddie. And now what? Oh shit! Anton Bailey is applying a Figure Four! Bailey is going for the submission win over Serial Thrylla!
Vic Canon - And he might very well get it! Thrylla's knee is in NO CONDITION for this type of pain! It could snap any second!
Eddie Sensation - And Bailey has it locked on! Thrylla is screaming in pain!
The Informer - Look at Serial Thrylla! His face says it all! He's scrambling around, trying to grab the ropes! But he's in the middle of the ring! Nothing is going to help him now!
Vic Canon - Thrylla holds his face in pain, and reaches for his knee! But Bailey punches him in the face, and Thrylla goes right back down! Nomad is standing on the apron, reaching out for the tag! But Thrylla is too far! He's 4 or 5 feet away from Nomad!
Eddie Sensation - Thrylla needs to pull his ass over there and tag in Nomad! But that's much easier said than done!
The Informer - You got that right Eddie! Hey... I think Thrylla moved a bit! He's moved about half a foot in the direction of his corner!
Vic Canon - How the hell can you tell?!
The Informer - The sweat marks on the mat!
Vic Canon - Ahh... you're right!
Eddie Sensation - Damn! This guy is a walking brain!
The Informer - Ummmm.... thanks? Well, Thrylla is still quite a way from his corner... and he's in a lot of pain! He's holding his knee with one hand, and his face with the other.
Vic Canon - Thrylla looks like he's fading! He's no longer throwing his arms around in search of help... now he's just laying there! And his shoulders are down! The ref counts.... 1...... 2........ NO! Thrylla gets his shoulder up, and lays on his side!
Eddie Sensation - And Bailey is telling the ref to check him! Thrylla isnt responding to the ref, so the ref is going to check his arm! He lifts his arm once......
The Informer - And it falls! Look at Nomad! He's exhausted just from watching this! No longer is his extending his arm for Thrylla... he's just watching, and is on his knee's looking through the second and third ropes!
Vic Canon - The ref lifts Thrylla's arm again.......... and it falls for the SECOND time!! One more time and Thrylla is history!
Eddie Sensation - NO!!! COME ON THRYLLA!!!!!
The Informer - Here goes! The ref lifts his arm......
Vic Canon - .....NO!!! NO!!!!!!! THRYLLA LUNGES TOWARDS HIS CORNER WITH ALL HIS REMAINING POWER, AND HE'S THERE! WHAT THE HELL IS NOMAD DOING?! THRYLLA'S HAND IS RIGHT INFRONT OF HIS FACE, AND NOMAD IS JUST STANDING THERE! ALL HE HAS TO DO IS LIFT HIS ARM A BIT.... BUT NOMAD IS JUST WATCHING!!!!
Eddie Sensation - WHAT?! IM CONFUSED!!!
The Informer - WE ALL ARE EDDIE!!! .....LOOK!! NOMAD IS LEAVING! HE JUST GOT DOWN OFF THE APRON, AND HE'S LEAVING THE RING!! NOMAD IS HEADING BACKSTAGE, AND HE'S LEAVING THRYLLA IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!!!!
Vic Canon - I CANT BELEIVE THIS! AND NEITHER CAN ANTON BAILEY OR THE BRINK!!! THEY'RE JUST WATCHING LIKE ALL OF US!!!!
Eddie Sensation - And Bailey releases the hold! Now he's walking towards The Brink.... and he tags him in!! The Brink is in the ring.... and he pulls Thrylla into the middle of the ring!
The Informer - Now what's he doing? Uh oh..... This has to be it! The Brink is applying the Lyin Tamer! YES! LYIN TAMER APPLIED!!
Vic Canon - And Thrylla is back where he started! No... wait! Thrylla is showing no emotion! He could be out cold from the pain of that Figure Four!
Eddie Sensation - The referee is checking his arm..... and it goes down once! He checks it again....
The Informer - And its down for a second time! The ref checks Serial Thrylla's arm one more time.......
Vic Canon - Aaaaaand its...............
Eddie Sensation - DOWN! NO!!! ITS DOWN!!!
The Informer - THRYLLA IS OUT COLD! THE REF IS CALLING FOR THE BELL! THIS MATCH IS OVER!
Chris Myers - Serial Thrylla has been eliminated! Therefore, the winners of this match... The Brink and Anton Bailey!
Vic Canon - The Brink and Bailey have defeated the team of Ethan Tyler, Serial Thrylla and Nomad! But I STILL dont understand.... why did Nomad walk out on Serial Thrylla?!
Eddie Sensation - Dont look at me, I dont know!
The Informer - Well The Brink and Anton Bailey are headed out of here... even THEY dont know what's going on!
Vic Canon - Well.... I guess we're going to send it backstage......
Eddie Sensation - NO! LOOK! HERE COMES NOMAD AND ETHAN TYLER!
The Informer - Time for some answers! Ethan Tyler and Nomad are making their way to the ring, where Serial Thrylla is out cold! They get into the ring... and now Tyler is mumbling something to Nomad!
Vic Canon - NO!! NOO!!!! NOMAD IS SETTING UP SERIAL THRYLLA ON THE TOP ROPE!!!! HE'S GOING TO GIVE HIM THE JOURNEY'S END!!!
Eddie Sensation - WHAM!!!!!!!! NOPE!!!!!! DFA!!!!!!!!
The Informer - GOOD GOD!!!!!! NOMAD JUST DFA'D THRYLLA!!! AND ETHAN TYLER WAS THE MAN WHO TOLD HIM TO DO IT! NOW BOTH MEN ARE LAUGHING!!!!!!
Vic Canon - HEY, LOOK!!!!! ITS THE REGULATORS!!!!!!! THE REGULATORS ARE COMING TO THE RING AT FULL SPEED!!!!! AND NOMAD AND ETHAN TYLER ARE GETTING THE HELL OUT OF THERE!!!!!!!
Eddie Sensation - HA! RAMOS IS CHASING THEM OUT OF THE RING, AND NOW TO THE BACKSTAGE AREA!!!! TWO MEN ARE RUNNING FROM ONE! HAHA!!!!
The Informer - This is NOT funny Eddie! Johnny Rage is now in the ring with Serial Thrylla.... and what's he going to do?! Beat on Thrylla as well?!
Vic Canon - NO! Rage is helping Thrylla to his feet! Johnny Rage is assisting Serial Thrylla!
Eddie Sensation - But Thrylla just shoved him aside! Thrylla collapses to the mat.... and rolls out of the ring! He lands on the outside with a smack!
The Informer - And now Serial Thrylla is crawling backstage.... he is LITERALLY CRAWLING backstage!
Vic Canon - Rage is in the ring, watching this... and he's wondering what the hell is wrong with Thrylla! Nomad and Ethan Tyler have turned on Serial Thrylla, but The Regulators came out to help him!
Eddie Sensation - I cant beleive I'm watching this! Serial Thrylla rejected Johnny Rage's help, and is CRAWLING out of here!
The Informer - How many times do you have to say it?! You know I dont like to see this crap! Lets send it backstage or something! Just get the camera off of this shit!
[ The screen fades to black, then fades into a shot of this..... ]
On Sunday, October 29th.... LIVE from Ice Palace in Tampa, Florida... the EWA brings to you, HELLACIOUS HALLOWEEN 3: FINAL BLOOD. Only on Pay-Per-View!
Pre-Match Interview with Thorn
Rob DiMarco - I'm standing here backstage with Thorn, who, in a short few minutes is going to go head to head against Chandler for the EWA World Heavyweight Championship.Thorn - Cut the foreplay DiMarco. Not like you know what your doing anyways.
Rob DiMarco - Excuse me, but I know ALL about foreplay!
Thorn - Yeah... I'm sure you've got the whip cream masterbation thing done pat huh?
Rob DiMarco - What?! NO!!
Thorn - Whip cream, lubracants, same thing.
Rob DiMarco - ....oh.
Thorn - Dude, that's fucking sick. Get on with the questions.
Rob DiMarco - It's not sick, it's human nature!
Thorn - Don't try to stick up for yourself you sick bastard.
Rob DiMarco - But-
Thorn - ASK THE FUCKING QUESTIONS!!
Rob DiMarco - Oh... yeah... sure.
Thorn - Fuck this...
[ Thorn takes the clip board away from DiMarco and hits him in the head with it. ]
Thorn - Get the fuck outta here.
[ Rob says something as he rushes down the hall. ]
Rob DiMarco - That's an expensive clipboard!!
Thorn - Expensive..? Yeah, sure... anyways, time for that one man Brink-ish interview shit.
[ Reading over questions that DiMarco wrote down. ]
Thorn - Just as I figured... same questions as always, blah blah blah, am I prepared? Blah blah blah, do I think I'm going to win? Blah blah blah, I want Stevens in bed... uh... I always thought he was gay...... At least the guy has goals... Anyways, back to the fucking subject at hand.
Thorn - Tonight. Rival Schools. The night where I, Thorn take on Ragin' Cajun, Chandler once again, for the EWA Heavyweight championship. Sound familiar? Take a look at Rock The Boat, me and Chandler one on one with a nice little ladder inbetween us. Tonight, we have the pleasure of taking this to main land, fuck that ocean shit. Chand, I had you beat on that fucking boat until that Canadian fuckerhead got in my way. Chand, I've had the upper hand each and EVERY time we've had a match, whether it was a tag match, a six man tag match, or one on one, I was ALWAYS the better man. I got the best of you each and every fucking time, it's time to stop the games, we're playing kickball now, you still think you're the better cruiserweight??
Thorn - I want you to prove it tonight. Once and for fucking all, give me your best, cause it really won't matter in the end, cause I WILL ALWAYS.... always... be better. Chand, I hope mommy packed you a nice lunch, cause it's the last meal you'll be able to eat without using a straw. Chand.... monkey bars... three O'Clock... Your playing with the big boys now.... Recess is fucking over.
[ Thorn snaps DiMarco's "expensive" clipboard in half over his knee and throws it on the ground, and walks off. ]
Pre-Match Interview with Chandler
Rachel Stevens - Thanks guys, I'm here with the EWA World Heavyweight Champion, Clayton Chandler. Chandler, what are your thought coming into this world title rematch against Thorn?Chandler - Rematch? What the fuck was the first match Stevens? At Rock the Boat, we didn't have a match, we were pawns in a big fucking promo to get Nick Diamante over. Over so much so as to tank the whole fucking show and cause me, ME, to get heat from everyone in this goddamn bussiness, from the sheetwriters to the people that put up the ring. So what are MY thoughts coming into the supposed "rematch"? I think its time that I show the world..better yet..remind the world why I wear 20 pounds of gold around my waist each and every week. It just so happens I've got to run through Thorn to do it.
Rachel Stevens - I've got to ask this next question Chandler, it appears that you have been keeping a very low profile ever since Ethan Tyler and Nomad have joined Team Ballz, and have "minded your own business" so to speak. Is that a fair assessment?
Chandler - Yeah, it is. Those three guys, Thrylla, Tyler, and Nomad, are three of my closest friends in this company. But right now, at this point in time, my mission on this earth goes above and beyond what Team Ballz, as a collective unit, is out to do. I ressurected the teal and red, and turned it to the black and grey, but right now I'm taking care of my shit, and letting them take care of theirs. I've been watching them closely the last couple of weeks, and let me tell you this Stevens, the second they start fucking up and embarras myself and this stable, I'm gonna stick my nose right back in their fucking business. Because I might not be out there, but I run the fucking show. Always remember that America, I run the fucking show.
Rachel Stevens - Last question, any strategy going into this one, or are you going to, I dunno, what is your game plan, basically?
Chandler - Damn strait I've got a game plan. And its basically this. Keep that motherfucker grounded, work on his legs, and tear his fucking head off any time I get. Big Timer, -HIROSHIMA-, ballgame, I go to the pay windeh. But this right here [points to belt] is why I showed up tonight. Its time to make it proud. And its time I prove once again why I am the best professional wrestler alive. Now move the fuck outta the way...
Rachel Stevens - Back to ringside.
EWA Heavyweight Title Match
Chandler vs. Thorn
[ ...The ringbell chimes thrice.... ]Chris Myers - Ladies and Gentlemen!
[ The lights dim in the arena, and everything becomes an odd shade of grey ]
Chris Myers - The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the EWA World Heavyweight Championship!!
[ "Edgecrusher" by Fear Factory suddenly blasts over the PA as the fans rise out of their seats into an array of cheers. As a lone spotlight makes the EWA entrance ramp (tonight resembling the ramps used by early 90's WCW) shine with a ghostly whiteness, Thorn walks out to the eyes of the fans in attendance. He climbs into the ring and undresses into his ring attire. The music slowly fades out and Chris Meyers's voice is one again heard ]
Chris Myers - ...And his opponent...
"Ready?" [ Blackout ]
"COME WIT' IT NOW..." [ Cue "Bulls on Parade". Also cue the spotight, as it shines once again towards the EWA Entrance Ramp where Clayton Chandler is already standing, arms by his sides and head towards the air, wearing his usual forearm tape and trunks, this night of the white and black fade variety. The EWA World Champion and remote leader of Team Ballz remains static among the extremely audible jeers from the crowd. He then walks towards the ring slowly and methodically, always keeping his eyes on Thorn. He steps into the ring into the opposite corner of his adversary. ]
Chris Myers - Introducing first, the challenger, and leader of The New Resistance, weighing in tonight at two-hundred and ten pounds, ladies and gentlemen, THIS...IS...THORN!!!!!!!
[ The fans cheer and Thorn climbs atop the top rope, saluting them. ]
Chris Myers - And his opponent, the reigning and defending EWA World Heavyweight Champion, patriarch and figurehead of Team Ballz, from Shreveport, Louisiana, and weighing in tonight at two-hundred and fifteen pounds, ladies and gentlemen....CHAAAAAANDLEEEEEEERRR!!!
[ The crowd boos massively and Chandler doesn't even acknowledge them, instead, keeping his eyes on Thorn. Chris Meyers leaves the ring... ]
[ ...And the bell rings... ]
The Informer - Well, here we go! The EWA Heavyweight Title is on the line! They lock up...
Vic Canon - Chandler throws Thorn to the ropes... Thorn bounces off, ducks a clothesline and hits the ropes again... Chandler ducks for a back body drop, but Thorn jumps over him. Thorn hits the ropes again....
Eddie Sensation - They're getting me dizzy!
The Informer - Thorn slides between Chandler's legs! Chandler turns around.... UPPERCUT by Thorn! Chandler stumbles back into the ropes.... CLOTHESLINE BY THORN and Chandler goes to the outside!
Vic Canon - But he's not done yet! Thorn jumps to the top rope.... OOH!!! CROSS BODY ONTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR!!!! And Thorn slides back into the ring!
Eddie Sensation - And now the ref is counting Chandler out! But that doesnt matter! If Chandler loses by Count out, he's still the World Heavyweight Champion!
The Informer - True Eddie, but I doubt he wants to win like that.
Vic Canon - The referee is at a 6 count, and Chandler is walking around the ring. 7.... he climbs up the steps. 8.... and he's in the ring. Thorn slowly approaches him, and Chandler goes back to the outside!
Eddie Sensation - You gotta give the man space! Come on!
The Informer - Oh please.... Thorn backs off, and Chandler gets into the ring. Chandler makes his way back into the middle of the ring... and they tie up again! Thorn throws Chandler to the ropes! Chandler bounces back... Spinning Heel Kick by Thorn! Chandler ducks underneath it, and hits the ropes again...
Vic Canon - Chandler jumps!! Flying forearm to the head of Thorn! Thorn gets right back to his feet, and kicks Chandler in the thigh! Chandler stumbles a bit... Thorn hooks him! Cradle Suplex!
Eddie Sensation - Thorn gets right back up! And Chandler follows!
The Informer - Thorn heads for the corner.... he jumps to the top rope, he jumps and turns! WHAM! Missle Dropkick by Thorn!
Vic Canon - Right on the money! He goes for the cover.... the ref counts.... 1..... 2.... Chandler with an easy kickout.
Eddie Sensation - Thorn gets to his feet, and grabs Chandler by the hair.
The Informer - Chandler punches Thorn in the stomach twice, knee's him in the face, and hooks him! LOOK OUT! OOOH!!!! FISHBONE DYNAMITE DRIVER!!! Chandler nailed it!
Vic Canon - He goes for the cover... the ref counts.... 1...... 2...... No! Thorn easily gets out.
Eddie Sensation - And Chandler applies an armbar!
The Informer - No no! It's a Fugiwara armbar!
Vic Canon - Yeah, get it straight Eddie!
Eddie Sensation - Oh please! What the hell's the difference?!
The Informer - There's a big difference! And you saying that could get you killed! It's like telling a Chinese man, a Japanese man and a Korean man that they're all the same!
Eddie Sensation - They are!
The Informer - Well, me and you think so... but they say there's a big difference. Anyway, back to the match... Thorn has reached the ropes! Chandler is forced to break the hold.
Vic Canon - And he does. Now Thorn rolls to the outside of the ring!
Eddie Sensation - Uh oh! Bad move by Thorn! This is where Chandler will dominate him!
The Informer - Chandler rolls out as well, and grabs Thorn by the head! OOOH! He slams Thorn's head into the ring apron!
Vic Canon - The World Champ grabs him again, and throws him into the steel steps this time!! Thorn hit them hard, back first!
Eddie Sensation - Chandler charges at him!
The Informer - THORN MOVED! THORN MOVED! Chandler went face first into the ring post, and legs first into the steel steps!
Vic Canon - And just like that, Thorn is in control of the match!
Eddie Sensation - Hey, look! Thorn is climbing to the top rope! He's signalling to the crowd for something! Here he goes!
The Informer - Chandler is up on his feet, looking for Thorn! Thorn jumps!
Vic Canon - ......WHAM!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!! JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! THORN NAILED HIM WITH A HURRICANRANA OFF THE TOP ROPE, ONTO THE OUTSIDE AND INTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR!!!!! THAT'S GOTTA BE IT!!! THORN HAS IT WON!!!!
Eddie Sensation - GOD DAMN! I THINK THE CONCRETE IS INDENTED!!!!
The Informer - Now what's he doing? Thorn is walking towards us! ...uh oh! He's got Chris Myers's chair!
Vic Canon - And he's setting it up in the ring, right beside the apron!
Eddie Sensation - What the hell for?!
The Informer - Because he's setting up Chandler for the Crown Of Thorns, ONTO that steel chair! Thorn is climbing to the top rope! This crowd is going NUTS!
Vic Canon - Fans, THIS COULD BE IT! WE COULD HAVE A NEW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! IF THORN HITS THIS MOVE, IT'S OVER!
Eddie Sensation - Calm the fuck down Vic!
The Informer - THORN JUMPS!...........
Vic Canon - ......................WHAM!!!!!! HE NAILED IT!!!!!!! THORN NAILED IT!!!!!!!!! CROWN OF THORNS!!!! CROWN OF THORNS!!!! ITS OVER!!!
Eddie Sensation - NO!!!! LOOK!!!! THORN IS HURT!!!! HIS LOWER BACK HIT THE STEEL CHAIR, AND HE'S IN AS MUCH PAIN AS CHANDLER IS!!!!
The Informer - DAMN! Thorn is going to piss blood when this match is over! His kidneys just got ROCKED by that steel chair!
Vic Canon - Now both men are down! What a series of events!
Eddie Sensation - Vic, you're such a geek!
The Informer - It looks like Thorn is starting to move! Yes! He's crawling to the corner!
Vic Canon - And look at Chandler! He's feeling his head! Right now it probably feels like his head isn't even there!
Eddie Sensation - Thorn is using the corner and the ropes to get to his feet...
The Informer - And Chandler is using the ropes to pull himself up! He's standing there, dazed!
Vic Canon - Ha! Chandler almost tripped over that steel chair! He just kicked it, and it's now on the other side of the ring!
Eddie Sensation - Thorn is up! He bounces off the ropes!
The Informer - He charges at Chandler.... HURRICANRANA! NO!!! CHANDLER TURNS, AND POWERBOMBS THORN ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR! THORNS HEAD BOUNCED ON THAT CHAIR!!!! I THINK I CAN SEE HIS HEAD BLEEDING ALREADY!!!!
Vic Canon - GOOD GOD!! THAT COULD BE IT!!! CHANDLER COULD HAVE HIM BEAT RIGHT THERE!
Eddie Sensation - CHANDLER GOES FOR THE COVER!
The Informer - THE REF COUNTS! 1........
Vic Canon - 2..............
Eddie Sensation - 3!!!!!!! YES!!!! CHANDLER DID IT!!! CHANDLER DID IT!!!
Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and STILL EWA Heavyweight Champion.... Chandler!
The Informer - WAIT, LOOK!!!!! THORN'S FOOT IS STICKING OUT OF THE RING!!! I DONT THINK THE REF SAW IT!!!!
Vic Canon - BUT CHANDLER NOTICED! AND HE JUST PULLED THORN'S LEG BACK INTO THE RING!
Eddie Sensation - WHAT?! ARE YOU ACCUSING HIM OF CHEATING?!
The Informer - YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I AM!!!! THIS MATCH SHOULDN'T HAVE ENDED, AND CHANDLER KNOWS IT! WHAT A PHONY WE HAVE FOR A WORLD CHAMPION!
Eddie Sensation - WHAT?!?!?! YOU'RE ON SOME KIND OF DRUG INFORMER! YOU'RE SEEING THINGS!
The Informer - FUCK YOU EDDIE! GOD DAMMIT, FANS WE'RE OUT OF TIME!! THE EWA HAS A CHEATER FOR ITS WORLD CHAMPION..... THANKS FOR JOINING US TONIGHT, AND DONT MISS HEAT!! GOODNIGHT FANS!!!!
