[The screen fades in to a shot of an EWA symbol, which soon fades to black. We are then shown clips of the events that occured over the last 6 weeks, during the EWA's World Tour! The EWA's World Tour ends tonight, here in Tokyo Japan, with Global Threat 2000. 60 thousand PLUS fans have jammed the arena, to see 13 great matches tonight! We are brought to a shot of our 3 commentators....]

The Informer - Welcome fans, to the 2nd annual Global Threat! We're LIVE, from Tokyo, Japan, for Global Threat 2000! And tonight will be one of the biggest nights in EWA history! We have 13 great matches for you, all almost equally important!

Vic Canon - Thats right Informer. Tonight, almost the ENTIRE EWA Roster is in action! Like you said, 13 great matches are happening tonight. For example, the EWA World Tour Tournament ends tonight! We have 2 Semi-Final Matches, and THE Final match tonight! Vinny D will take on Howell, with the winner fighting the winner of WaR CrYmE against Thorn!

Eddie Sensation - That should be sweet! I'm predicting Howell to win it all!

The Informer - Well, all four of those athletes are great... we should have 3 great Tournament matches tonight! Plus, Travis Gaines and Fallen Angel will go head to head, in a Hardcore match! You know how much they hate each other!

Vic Canon - Also, Ethan Tyler tries to gain his EWA contract tonight by winning this match tonight against a mystery opponent! Who the hell could that be?!

Eddie Sensation - I think it's Nicky D! Stone doesnt want Tyler in the EWA, and he knows that Nick will get the job done against him!

The Informer - Ha! I doubt that Eddie.... Also on this card... El GiGante will take on Moochie in a Table Match! Arthryn defends his North American Title against Moral in an INFERNO MATCH!

Vic Canon - Lorenzo Hayes and Josh Hamric team to take on Don Michaels and Jeanine Trujillo in tag team action! The Cows in Black will defend their Tag Team Titles against the Highly Conceited Bastards!

Eddie Sensation - Cody Covington and Divine will battle it out in a Japanese DEATH MATCH! Reckless and Pegasus Warrior will fight in a LOSER LEAVES TOWN MATCH!

The Informer - Tiki Tortez defends the Extreme Title against Ghost From Hell in a Japanese Dojo! Nomad defends his International Title agains Howell!

Vic Canon - And... last, but not least AT ALL! It is THE match..... The Four Way, EWA Heavyweight Title Match! Chris Jericho will defend against Chandler, Divine, and Serial Thrylla, in elimination style!

Eddie Sensation - The last man standing is our new EWA Heavyweight Champion! That WILL be great!

The Informer - But, that match is approximatly 3 hours away! Lets get started, NOW!

Rachel Stevens - Joining me now is Howell who is just a few moments will step in the ring with "The Original Outlaw" Vinny D. This is a Semi-Final match of the EWA World Tour Tournament.... what are your thoughts on facing Vinny D after obviously being prepared to take on the Wildman or the Hustler?

Howell - Vinny D.... "The Original Outlaw".... Vince Di Nardo... you have now come back to wrestle in the EWA. Well Vinny... wrong place, wrong time! You come out to the ring on your nice motorcycle trying to intimidate everyone and you step in the ring in defeat the Wildman... come on it is the Wildman! So... you defeat a piece of shit like him and now you get to advance all the way to the Semi-Finals of this tournament. Well Vinny, that is fine with me.... let me remind you I only had to make one person pass out to get this far. Now you have to step into the ring with me.... Howell... the most intimidating man in the EWA. Well Vince... your motorcycle does scare me... you being a part of the trenchcoat mafia doesn't scare me... and your damn hall of fame status surely doesn't scare me. It is simple Vince... you don't know what you are in for do you? You beat the Wildman and think you can defeat the World? Well that isn't the way it goes... because the Wildman ain't shit in my book. No one is anything in my book besides me! You want to gloat and glitter... well you better pin my ass to the mat first! You don't get another freebie... you don't get another easy win to advance. You have to beat the most dangerous man you will ever face in your hall of fame career. And Vince good luck... because the only way you have a chance is if you can get through the Malicious Intent without passing out!!

Rachel Stevens - Also I wanted to know how focused you were on this match? Since obviously you are fighting Nomad later tonight for the EWA International Championship....

Howell - Rachel... focused... me being focused?? AM I EVER FOCUSED?! NO!! Because all I care about is going out there... inflicting pain on my opponents and making them pass out after I hit the Malicious Intent!! So Rachel I am focused to be unfocused if you can understand what I am saying... But I think I have said enough... I'm ready to kick Vinny's ass right now..... so Vinny get ready to feel a new sensation of pain in your body and don't be surprised when you wake up in a puddle of your own blood and find out that I am the one going to the finals and not you!!

Rachel Stevens - Over to you, Zed!

Zed - At the moment I'm standing with "the Original Outlaw" Vinny D. Mr. Vince, you've made it to the semi finals of the tournament, which means you're only one step away from the final match! However, Howell is in your way. What are your thoughts on him?

"The Original Outlaw" Vinny D - Well, Howell is a great athlete no doubt, but, he ain't never stepped in the ring with someone like me before........ Howell be ready for this match, don't take me lightly..............

Zed - If you do win this match, you would have to push your fragile body to wrestle again later tonight. That means....yes, you guessed it, TWO matches in ONE night. Are you worried about fatigue? Are you scared of the chance that while doing a diving lariat you may fall asleep and land on the mat like a sack of potatos?

"The Original Outlaw" Vinny D - Fragile body?? Fall asleep??

[Grabs Zed by the scruff of his throat.]

"The Original Outlaw" Vinny D - You know, I've knocked you on your ass a few times, in case you've forgotten, and don't think I wouldn't think of doing it again........ WHO THE HELL IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD PAY YOU MONEY TO ASK STUPID QUESTIONS LIKE THAT??

[Releases Zed's throat, Zed massages his throat to bring feeling back to it.]

"The Original Outlaw" Vinny D - Next time you have to interview me, you better not trying to get yourself over as a stand up comedian..............

[As The Original Outlaw walks away, Zed flips him the bird, and start to curse.]

"The Original Outlaw" Vinny D - I'll remember that finger Zed, I'll remember..........

Zed - Shit! Another meaningless attack from nowhere! Well, back to ringside...

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a World Tour Tournament Semi-Final Match!

["The Outlaw Torn" by Metallica blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'7" and weighing in at 287 pounds, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, "The Original Outlaw" Vinny D!

["The Original Outlaw" Vinny D steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - LOOK OUT!! THERE'S HOWELL! FROM BEHIND!

Vic Canon - He's not waiting for an entrance!

Eddie Sensation - Ha! Good! This is the way to do it!

The Informer - Howell is a house of fire, throwing rights and lefts like there is no tomorrow! The crowd is on their feet!

Vic Canon - Howell whips Vinny to the ropes, but Vinny reverses, Howell ducks a clothesline.... IT'S MALICIOUS INTENT! MALICIOUS INTENT!

Eddie Sensation - This one could be over early!

The Informer - It could be Eddie! Vince is fading fast!

Eddie Sensation - OOOOHH!!

Vic Canon - Vince just back kicked Howell, right in the groin!

The Informer - What a cheap and dastardly move! Look out! Vinny D hooks a small package.... 1... 2... 3!!!

Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and advancing to the finals of the World Tour Tournament... "The Original Outlaw" Vinny D!

The Informer - Vince wiggled his way out of another one! He's into the finals, where he will face the winner of WaR CrYmE and Thorn!

Vic Canon - Hopefully that match wont be as dull as this one!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT?!?! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?! THIS MATCH WAS FUN! AND EXCITING!! AND GREAT!!

The Informer - HA! Eddie, no sarcasm is required.

Eddie Sensation - What sarcasm? I'm serious.

The Informer - The scary thing about that, is I beleive him!

Vic Canon - Hahaha! Lets send it backstage!

Rachel Stevens - I'm now backstage, as any second I'm to be joined by Travis "The Future" Gaines, who tonight takes part in a match with Fallen Angel.

[At this point, Travis Gaines walks into the dressing room and greets Rachel.]

Rachel Stevens - Welcome Travis. Tonight you face Fallen Angel, and it's going to be all on the line in a hardcore match. You cannot like the looks of things.

Travis Gaines - Well Rachel, That is Correct, Looking at Fallen Angel isn't a very healthy thing to do.. But on a serious note, I'm going to go into this match with my head up, my mind set, and i'm gonna teach Fallen Angel a lesson he should have been taught along time ago.

Rachel Stevens - Well this is Fallen Angels backyard, are you the least bit worried?

Travis Gaines - Me? Worried, I'm That Damn Good, and Fallen Angel will be Fallen through a table.

Rachel Stevens - Back to you guys at ringside.

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Hardcore Match!

["I Defy" by Machine Head blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 5'11" and weighing in at 230 pounds, from Sea Isle City, New Jersey, "That Damn Good" Travis "The Future" Gaines!

["That Damn Good" Travis "The Future" Gaines steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

["Judith" by A Perfect Circle blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... accompanied to the ring by Kimberly Wolf, standing 6'2" and weighing in at 255 pounds, from Chicago, Illinois, Fallen Angel!

[Kimberly Wolf and Fallen Angel step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - And there's the bell! Travis Gaines quickly takes down Fallen Angel with an arm bar! Fallen Angel has a hold of the ropes, but it doesn't matter in this match! It's hardcore rules!

Vic Canon - Travis Gaines wrenches down on his arm! Ouch! I think I heard a snap! "That Damn Good" releases the hold, gets up, and quickly drops a leg drop! He turns Fallen Angel over, and goes for the cover.... 1.... 2.... No!

Eddie Sensation - Fallen Angel with an easy kickout!

The Informer - Gaines picks up Fallen Angel, and throws him to the ropes. Fallen Angel comes back, and Gaines applies a sleeper! Fallen Angel is reaching back to try and grab Gaines by the head, but cant!

Vic Canon - Fallen Angel is slowly fading! He's going down on one knee!

Eddie Sensation - And now he's on both knees!

The Informer - Gaines isn't letting go anytime soon! He's got it locked on tight!

Vic Canon - And Fallen Angel looks to be unconcious! The referee is reaching for his hand! He lifts it...... It falls!

Eddie Sensation - ONE!

The Informer - The ref checks if Fallen Angel is breathing, and he is! So, he lifts his arm again!

Vic Canon - And it falls!

Eddie Sensation - TWO!

The Informer - The referee is lifting his arm, for possibly the last time.... it's up..... aaaaaaand.....

Vic Canon - DOW--No! It's up! Fallen Angel is making a come back... he's up on one knee... now he's back to his feet! Fallen Angel looks left, looks right....

Eddie Sensation - OOH!!! LOW BLOW!!!

The Informer - Gaines releases the hold... Fallen Angel turns around, and grabs him! OH! PILEDRIVER!!

Vic Canon - And now Fallen Angel is rolling to the outside! He's looking under the ring for something.... Uh oh! He's got a chair! And now he's put the chair in the ring!

Eddie Sensation - But he's not done yet! He's grabbing a table!! And now he has the table set up on the outside, right beside the ropes!

The Informer - Fallen Angel gets into the ring, and grabs the chair! He steps back, and Gaines gets up! Gaines charges in.... WHAM!! CHAIR SHOT TO THE HEAD! GAINES IS DOWN!

Vic Canon - And Fallen Angel looks happy! He picks up Gaines, and sets him up for a powerbomb!

Eddie Sensation - But not an ordinary powerbomb! He's going to powerbomb him through that table on the outside!

The Informer - Oh no! Dont do that! You'll kill him! Fallen Angel has him set up... he lifts him! No! Gaines gets out of it, and lands on his feet! Gaines throws a clothesline at Fallen Angel, but Angel ducks! He turns around, and scoops him up....

Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!!!! OOOH!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - SIX FEET UNDER! HE NAILED IT!!!!

The Informer - Fallen Angel goes for the pin.... 1...... 2...... 3!!!

Chris Myers - And the winner of this match, Fallen Angel!

Vic Canon - But he's not done yet! Fallen Angel has Travis Gaines on the outside, and he's setting him up for a powerbomb through that table!

Eddie Sensation - Wait a minute... LOOK!

The Informer - What the hell?!?! "Shadowhawk" Drew Norwood is in the ring! And he's going to the top rope!

Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!!!! OOH!!!!! HE JUST NAILED FALLEN ANGEL WITH "BIRDS EYE VIEW"!!!!!! Fallen Angel's head bounced off the guard rail! He's out cold!

Eddie Sensation - And now Shadowhawk is climbing down, over to Travis Gaines! Norwood picks up Gaines, and lifts him...... LOOK OUT!!!!!!!!!!! SILENT FLIGHT, RIGHT THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!!!

The Informer - DREW NORWOOD JUST KNOCKED TRAVIS GAINES INTO THE NEXT DIMENSION!!!!! And listen to this crowd!

Vic Canon - They love Shadowhawk!

Eddie Sensation - Well if he keeps putting people through tables like that, of course they'll love him!

The Informer - Well, Drew Norwood is out of here.... and we're going to send it backstage, as paramedics work on Fallen Angel and Travis Gaines.

Rachel Stevens - Im here now with WaR CrYmE who has a possible 2 matches tonight. The first being the semi finals match of the World Tour Tournament, and if you win, the finals. What are you thoughts on your matche(s)??

WaR CrYmE - Well Rachel, tonight, I face an opponent who stands not a chance against me in the ring. Now im sorry Thorn, you may think your great, you may think your good, but when you go up against a... a... a GOD such as myself, well then your shit out of luck.

Rachel Stevens - Many people are saying that you shouldn't have gotten this far in the tournament... that you've won matches that are nothing but farces due to interference's and such, any comments?

WaR CrYmE - Uhhh... Next question.

Rachel Stevens - If you win your first match here tonight, you face either Vinny D, or Howell. If you win your match against Thorn, do you think you'll stand a chance against either one of these men?

WaR CrYmE - Rachel.... who would win in a fight A God or an ant?

Rachel Stevens - A God.

WaR CrYmE - Good, now who would win in a fight, A God or a wanna be wrestler like Vinny D or Howell?

Rachel Stevens - ...A god?!

WaR CrYmE - Good, Good. Now who would win in a fight.. Me, WaR CrYmE a damn god, or Vinny D or Howell?

Rachel Stevens - .....Howell???

WaR CrYmE - [Angered] I dont have time for this you slut, this interviews over... I need Zed to interview me...

Rachel Stevens - Umm... over to you Zed...

Zed - Standing here with me right now is my long time friend Thorn. Thorn buddy, you've made it to the semi-finals of the tournament. You're only one small step away from the final match. But first, a man known only as WaR CrYmE is in your way. What are your thoughts on this individual?

Thorn - I don't know much about War Cryme, I don't care to know much about War Cryme. The only thing that matters to me right now, is how fast he can fall down, and stay down. As a matter of fact, tonight, for the 5 minutes of fame I'm going to give War Cryme, is the ONLY time I'm going to care about him, after I get the three count, he can fuck my sister for all I care, and if he wants revenge for me kicking his ass and try to spoil my fun in the finals... well... you mess with a Thorn... your bound to get cut, right? Right.

Zed - If you're successful, and you win this match tonight, you would have to fight yet again later tonight! That means not one, but TWO matches in just ONE night!!!! Are you worried about fatigue?? Are you afraid of possibly falling asleep in the ring during the match later if you advance?

Thorn - I'm only worried about falling asleep when I have to deal with War Cryme trying to be comical with his bubble gum and his sea-horses or whatever the fuck his twisted mind comes up with. I'm not worried about anything tonight, tonight Zed, is my night. Not even YOU could stand in my way of winning this tournament. I need this tournament Zed, not for the fans to pop for me louder, or merchandise to sell faster, I need this for me, I need it so I can look at myself in the mirror without being disgusted, I need this to show myself, that I am what I used to be and I can do what I used to be able to do.

Zed - There you have it, back to you guys at ringside!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a World Tour Tournament Semi-Final Match!

["The Big Fuck You" by Primer 55 blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'1" and weighing in at 201 pounds, from Sacramento, California, Thorn!

[Thorn steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

["Raw" by Staind blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'2" and weighing in at 245 pounds, from Albany, New York, WaR CrYmE!

[WaR CrYmE steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - This is going to be a battle here, the bell sounds, and we're underway.

Vic Canon - The two men lock up, and it's WaR CrYmE with a wristlock, Thorn reverses it, but WaR CrYmE switches back into an armbar, they're going back and forth here, what do you know, SOLID mat wrestling!

Eddie Sensation - No one wants to see this garbage!

The Informer - Thorn backs WaR CrYmE into the corner, and WHAM! Unloads on him with a brutal chop, listening to the crowd "WHOO". He whips WaR CrYmE across the ring, and charges, but NO! WaR CrYmE jumps, and Thorn crashes face first into the turnbuckle! WaR CrYmE flips over him, sunset flip! 1... 2... kickout! That was close!

Vic Canon - I thought for sure it might have been over there! WaR CrYmE is going to work on the lower back of Thorn, landing some stiff boots and elbows. He's really starting to wear him down here, I guess that he knows he's in for the long haul here!

Eddie Sensation - WaR CrYmE is in total control, Thorn doesn't have a chance!

The Informer - WaR CrYmE grabs a hold of Thorn's hair, and tucks him under his arm. He lifts him high in the air, look how long he's holding him up there for!! WHAM! Big suplex! Thorn landed hard, even more damage done to his lower back.

Vic Canon - CrYmE has a great gameplan here, he has picked one body part to work on, and has stuck with it. Look now, he's got him back up, Sidewalk slam! The cover... 1... 2... NO! Thorn got a shoulder up! Another nearfall!

Eddie Sensation - Ha! Unlike Vince vs. Howell, this match has gone on for more then 10 seconds!

The Informer - WaR CrYmE picks him back up... RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Another punishing move to the back of Thorn! He covers again, but again Thorn kicks out!

Vic Canon - WaR CrYmE picks up Thorn, and sets him up in the corner. He charges... THORN MOVED! THORN MOVED! Back rollup! 1... 2... NO! WOW, this match was almost over in an instant!

Eddie Sensation - Thorn had a handfull of tights, that bastard!

The Informer - Watch your mouth Eddie!

Eddie Sensation - ITS PAY PER VIEW! WE CAN SAY WHATEVER WE WANT!

The Informer - Both men are on their feet, WaR CrYmE charges, but Thorn ducks down, and gives him a huge backdrop! WaR CrYmE pops right back up, but is floored by a Thorn clothesline! He gets up again, and gets another clothesline from Thorn to show for it! Thorn is a house of fire!

Vic Canon - WaR CrYmE is staggered, he is REALLY dazed here. Thorn catches him. Looks like a pedigree! NO! Double arm into a powerbomb! 1... 2... kickout by WaR CrYmE! This has been a back and forth match, but it looks like Thorn finally has the advantage!

The Informer - I'll tell you what... Whichever man comes out on top here is going to have an INCREDIBLY tough task with Vinny D, he's fresh off that quick and surpising cheap win he had earlier tonight!

Vic Canon - You're absolutely right! Back to the match at hand though, Thorn is climbing up top... what is he doing? OH NO! He just went for a splash, but WaR CrYmE moved out of the way! Thorn bounced so hard off the mat, I think he's out cold!

Eddie Sensation - What a retard Thorn is! He had this match won!

The Informer - WaR CrYmE is dragging Thorn back up to his feet. He lifts him up for a back suplex, but Thorn accidentally kicked the referee in the head! The ref is down, and so is THORN!

[The crowd erupts in an enormous choros of boos, as Serial Thrylla charges down to ringside, his trusty Hockey Stick in hand...]

The Informer - Oh great! Here comes Serial Thrylla! Listen to this place jeer him, it's incredible!

Vic Canon - That son of a bitch likes to beat up innoncent people, like us! All we're trying to do is do our jobs!

Eddie Sensation - As gay as you sound, and as much as I hate you, I have to agree. I did nothing but cheer that fucker!

The Informer - He's up on the apron... what's he doing? OH MY GOD! HE JUST BROKE THE HOCKEY STICK OVER WAR CRYME'S HEAD! DID YOU HEAR THE SNAP AS IT CRACKED AGAINST HIS SKULL? WHAT A BASTARD!

Vic Canon - And now he's pulling Thorn on top of him, what is going on here?!?!

Eddie Sensation - Is Thorn part of Team Ballz?!?!

The Informer - I have no idea Eddie! But the referee is getting up! He turns over, and counts! 1... 2... 3!!!! Thorn is onto the finals!

Chris Myers - Your winner, and moving onto the finals of the World Tour Tournament....Thorn!!!

Vic Canon - What an injustice! Both men fought hard, and Serial Thrylla had to ruin it!

Eddie Sensation - Here is the REAL question though.... Is Thorn the newest member of Team Ballz? Serial Thrylla is leaving ringside, I guess we still don't have a clue!

Vic Canon - It's come down to 2 men. It will be "The Original Outlaw" Vinny D taking on Thorn to determine our World Tour Tournament Champion!

The Informer - That's later on... but next, Ethan Tyler will try to earn his stay here in the EWA! Lets send it backstage!

[Arthryn is seen looking down the hall...]

Arthryn - Now, as usual, Rachel Stevens is late for an interview. Damnit, she's a dumb bitch! Just like Tom Stone! HAHAH!

[Vince Di Nardo walks in and passes Arthryn, he stops, and stares at the NA Champ.]

Arthryn - Excuse me, but I think you thought I called you, or you're gay 'cause you're staring way too much! What the hell do you want?

Vince Di Nardo - That's a nice looking belt ya got there bro.......

Arthryn - Oh, is that right? I fucking know that. Why do you think I carry it with me. What? You think you can make it look better or something?

Vince Di Nardo - Naw man, I didn't say I could make it look better or nothing.... Calm down bro! I ain't got nothing up my sleeve.... Relax!!

[Vince Di Nardo walks away...]

Arthryn - Relax? Relax? I'll show him where he can go relax...

Zed - Right now I'm standing with noneother than Ethan Tyler. Mr. Tyler, tonight is your LAST chance at trying to get into the EWA.... and to top it off, you have a mystery opponent! What's running through your head right now?

Ethan Tyler - What's running through my head!? I'll tell you what's running through my fucking head. A whole year of busting my ass is running through my mind, the possible destruction of a life long dream, the thoughts of the many opponents that could be chosen for me, even the thought of being screwed over tonight is hanging with me.......

Zed - Do you have any clue as to who this mystery man might be? What if it's not only one man, but a legion of raging Goatmen in heat? What if this ends up being a handicap match?

Ethan Tyler - I have no clue and personally, I like it that way. Simply because I don't have to face him in the hall before I kill him in the ring tonight. Goatmen in Heat? Fuck 'em Handicap match? I'll kill no matter how many men Stone throws at me. The point is not who I'm fighting, but how I'm going to finish him off.

Zed - Do you enjoy the FOX network, and the quality programming they provide?

Ethan Tyler - What the hell are you talking about? But since you asked, since FOX doesn't carry any wrestling, it sucks the very shit it comes from

Zed - Do you like Potato Salad, and if so, would you sleep with a bowl for 30 bucks?

Ethan Tyler - Christ...... Nothing beats my mom's potato salad and I wouldn't sleep with a bowl of potato salad.... What the fuck is wrong with you?

Zed - Hmmmmm.... I see. Back to you guys at ringside.

Eddie Sensation - The clock has struck twelve on the EWA's own Cinderella story as Ethan Tyler has valiantly tried to make his career long dream of wrestling in the EWA a reality but has failed, only to end up now at Global Threat 2000 with a mystery opponent to be named. The clock has struck, and it's time to hit the ring....

[Ding, ding, ding]

Chris Myers - Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, weighing in at 236 pounds and standing at 6'3, from Portland, Oregon, "The Underground Hero" Ethan Tyler!

["Fire Up The Shoesaw" by Lionrock plays as Ethan Tyler walks out wearing an old skool Johnny Hardcore "Pride is Forever" shirt and his usual jean shorts and boots. The Japanese fans boo him as he makes his way to the ring with a mic in one hand, and his barbed wire steel chair in the other.]

Ethan Tyler - The time has come, do or die, fight or fly, stay or go..... Well Tom, I'm right fucking here and live on pay per view from the Slant Eyed city so bring out whatever piece of shit you can from the back!

[Lights go out throughout the whole arena as the Japanese crowd stirs some hums between them, suddenly a theme slowly comes to full volume in the arena until "Unforgiven II" by Metallica fully blasts the PA system]

Chris Myers - And his opponent, the legend himself, the man, the myth..... THE BOTTOM LINE, TBL!

[The Japanese crowd goes bananas as TBL comes out from behind the curtain. He acknowledges the crowd and steps into the ring]

Vic Canon - OH MY GOD! TBL IS BACK IN THE RING! TBL IS WRESTLING AGAIN! THIS IS A BLOCKBUSTER!

The Informer - Ethan Tyler doesn't seem to give two shits, look at the anger in this man's face!

Eddie Sensation - Tyler beckons TBL to hit him and TBL clocks him square in the jaw! and Ethan laughs! Ethan didn't even feel it!

Ethan Tyler - That the best you got PUSSY!?

Vic Canon - Ethan Tyler is just standing there and beckoning TBL! TBL walks over to Tyler and nails him with a Googalaplex slam! Tyler just gets back up and is laughing! TBL grabs him and does it again! Tyler gets up! ANOTHER GOOGALAPLEX SLAM! TYLER IS BACK UP! THIS MAN IS POSSESSED!

The Informer - TBL look baffled as Ethan kicks him square in the groin! TBL hits the ground hard and Ethan has that barbed wire chair! HE WAFFLES TBL IN THE BACK! TBL IS SCREAMING! Tyler now unwraps the chair and throws TBL into the ropes... My God! TBL's neck is caught in between them!

Eddie Sensation - Tyler is now crowning TBL with the barbed wire and is caving his skull in with that chair! Holy hell! Ethan Tyler is nuts! Tyler now goes under the ring and what's he got? Oh fuckin A...... Tyler has a weed whacker!

Ethan Tyler - Oh no, not yet!

Eddie Sensation - Tyler back under the ring grabs a baseball bat and he clocks TBL in the knee with it! Which one is his bad one?

The Informer - Ethan doesn't care and take the surefire route, he nails both knees! Ethan now unwraps TBL's neck from the ropes! What a nice shade of purple he turned! Ethan drags TBL to the outside now, what's he doing?

Ethan Tyler - DOES ANYONE HAVE A SMOKE!?

The Informer - A fan gave Ethan a lit cigarette! Ethan punches TBL In the skull and takes a puff and I don't think he likes it, he just put the cigarette out on TBL's head! TBL has a scorch mark on his forehead! Haha! Ethan drags TBL over to the steel steps and is repeatedly bashing his head into them! Look at the blood pour out! TBL has to be unconcious!

Vic Canon - Ethan has a rope, what the hell is he doing?

Eddie Sensation - He just tied TBL's feet up and is hanging him over the top rope and tying him there! Ethan goes back under the ring and has.... AN ELECTRIFIED FLY SWATTER!? Tyler pushes down on the button and holds it right on TBL's face! Good God, smell the burning skin! Ethan is now going backstage, where's he going?

Vic Canon - Hahaha! Listen to these folks laugh at TBL! He's getting his clock cleaned! Ethan is back and he has a glass table with him! He's got it set up in the middle of the aisle! Ethan now has a chair and he charges full speed down the aisle!

Japanese Crowd - UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Eddie Sensation - MY GOD!!!! ETHAN TYLER JUST SLAMMED THAT CHAIR RIGHT INTO TBL'S NOSE!!!! IT JUST BUSTED INTO A MILLION PIECES! THE JAPANESE FANS SAY IT ALL!

The Informer - Ethan unties TBL and drops him right on his head! Ethan is beating a near lifeless TBL with that rope! Now Ethan pulls TBL up to the top rope and...... OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! HE POWERBOMBS HIM THROUGH THE GLASS TABLE! HOLY HELL! THE WHOLE THING SHATTERS! Ethan Tyler jumps down and grabs a shard of glass! He's cutting TBL like a kosher pig! TBL can not even scream out in pain.

Ethan Tyler - Look, steel toed boots!

Vic Canon - Looks like Ethan is kicking the ring steps to prove it, listen to those pings! OH! Listen to the cracking as Ethan is kicking in TBL's ribs! Ouch ouch ouch! How I wouldn't wish to be TBL for all the money in the world!

Eddie Sensation - Ethan now has that weedwhacker and a wicked smile on his face! He fires it up and drives it right into TBL! HOLY SHIT TBL IS GETTING HACKED UP! Ethan now slams the weedwhacker repeatedly into TBL's skull! Tyler now grabs a can of gas and a cloth covered club... Oh god!

Vic Canon - Ethan Tyler M.D. knows that heat helps close the wounds! Hahaha! Ethan douses the cloth in gas and lights it! Ethan grabs another can from under the ring and douses TBL with it! HE'S GONNA HAVE A JEW-B-QUE! TBL assumes the fetal position!

Ethan Tyler - Hahaha you douche, it's only water, do you think I'd really light you on fire?

The Informer - Ethan jams the fire right into TBL's side! TBL is squirming around! Ethan puts the flame out on TBL! This is a massacre! Ethan is pulling back our protective mats now! Ethan drags a lifeless TBL to the top rope, he's not going to do what I think he is is he!?

Eddie Sensation - It's Sunday night and TBL has a hangover! OH MY GOD! Ethan Tyler just delivered a hangover from the top rope onto the concrete! Ethan is stunned but TBL is lifeless! His head just made a loud THUD on the concrete! Ethan now gets up and tears his shirt off, what's he doing!?

Vic Canon - Ethan is taking TBL's blood and is writing something... HAHAHAHA! It says Forewarned! Ethan back under the ring and he has a.... Oh for fuck's sake enough is enough! He has a plunger, we all know what this means! Ethan is going to finish the job the eWWa started!

The Informer - Ethan bends TBL over the ring apron and pulls down his shorts... GOOD GOD WHAT A HAIRY ASS! OOOOOOOOOH! This sold out crowd just collectively cringed! OH! DOUBLE CRINGE! Ethan just broke the handle off in TBL's rectum!

Eddie Sensation - God I'm going to hurl!

Vic Canon - Oh my God! Eddie just hurled! Ethan is now dragging TBL over to a vomiting Eddie Sensation! DISGUSTING! He's making TBL eat all the fresh warm vomit! Ooooh, asparagus chunks!

The Informer - Ethan slams TBL's head onto the stairs one more time and tells him not to move! Ethan grabs a bottle from under the ring and he smashes it! He drives the broken neck right into TBL's throat! Holy hell Ethan Tyler is out of control but these sick Jap fans love it!

Ethan Tyler - I got it you sick son of a bitch......

Vic Canon - Ethan Tyler is dragging TBL out of the ring and to the back area! OH! Ethan throws TBL by his hair right through a popcorn machine! Ethan laughs insanely! Now Ethan is dragging him into the bathroom! He's got him on a toilet..... OH! Piledriver right onto the toilet! Now TBL gets a swirlie! Ethan pulls him out by the leg and now drags him up the stairs to... the top of the Tokyo Dome???? Tyler is dragging TBL who is slamming his head on the way up to the top of the Tokyo Dome! Tyler now has TBL up on top and he has a mic with him! What is this nutcase doing?

Ethan Tyler - Hey TBL, remember this situation? I seem to remember you telling two men to risk their lives to go off the roof just so you can say you delivered the best god damn match ever.... You make me sick, you tried to sacrifice not only my mentor, but one of the EWA's finest former stars, and for that crime, you get Deja Vu... Only thing is, I'm not going down with you, what the fuck do you have to say?

The Informer - All TBL can do is spit out teeth and drool..... Gentlemen, he's going down.

[The entire crowd goes silent as Ethan throws TBL off the roof and he lands with a dull thud in the middle of the ring]

The Informer - .....HAHAHAHA!!!! THIS IS ACTUALLY PRETTY DAMN FUNNY! TBL FUCKED UP ALL SORTS OF SHIT AND NOW IT'S KARMA! TBL IS GETTING WHAT IS COMING TO HIM! Ethan is now coming down from way up high from the arena while TBL is somehow moving in the ring! Finally, Ethan is back to the ring and he's locked in a Kata Ha Jime!! Only he's not applying full pressure, what the hell? Is he slacking?

Eddie Sensation - Belly to back suplex from the Kata Ha Jime! TBL's shoulder just got dislocated! As it goes flying down to the mat! What a vicious suplex! Ethan looks shocked now..... As insane as this sounds, I don't think he meant to hurt TBL like this..... Ethan now asses the damage and he's going to pop TBL's shoulder back into place.

Vic Canon - Nice to see you aren't puking all over my shoes Sensation! And I ain't no doctor, but I think Ethan is pulling on the arm the wrong wa....

[A loud snap fills the arena]

Vic Canon - HOLY HELL! ETHAN TYLER JUST SNAPPED TBL'S ARM! He just broke it in two pieces! Ethan now grabs a chair and breaks it into three.... four....five....six...... Six pieces! TBL emits a scream and my god! Ethan Tyler kicks him right in the mouth! Look at the blood!

Ethan Tyler - Shut the FUCK up. Your mouth has already gotten you in enough trouble..... Looks like it's time to wrap this shit up.... Huh?

The Informer - Ethan goes outside and is pulling on the guard rail! Ethan sets TBL up on top.... ILLEGAL IN 48 STATES! TBL'S JAW JUST HIT THE GUARD RAIL AND IT HAS TO BE SHATTERED! IT'S DEFORMED! TBL IS SPITTING UP TEETH!

Eddie Sensation - Fucking shit! I'm not one to swear but this is insane! Ethan Tyler now back under the ring pulls up one...two....three.... four glass tables! He's thrown them into the ring and now pulls up a ladder! He sets up all four glass tables! Ethan now outside has removed the guardrail from the others and lays it down..... GOOGALAPLEX SLAM ON THE RAIL!

The Informer - AAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! HOW IRONIC IS THIS!? Ethan drags TBL back into the ring... My god, please finish this mess.

Vic Canon - Personally, I enjoy this! Ethan drags TBL up the ladder and what in the hell is he yelling?

Ethan Tyler - HHD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - What the holy fuck was that!? Ethan Tyler just nailed a flipping neckbreaker through four glass tables! TBL and Ethan go crashing down!

Eddie Sensation - Both men are down! Ethan may have over done it! Wait! Someone's moving! IT'S TBL!

The Informer - You idiot, that's Ethan Tyler! He spits out a mouthful of glass and covers TBL!

[1.......2.........3!]

The Informer - ETHAN TYLER HAS DONE IT! ETHAN HAS WON HIS RIGHT TO STAY IN THE EWA AS HE HAS DEFEATED THE ONCE MIGHTY TBL! THE UNDERGROUND JUST BLEW PAST MAINSTREAM OH MY GOD WHAT A MATCH!

Vic Canon - EMTs are now running down to help TBL, here comes the stretcher... They've got him loaded up as "Fire Up The Shoesaw" is blowing through the sound system here! The fans have gone nuts and TBL is on a stretcher.... Wait! Ethan has the stretcher and runs it over the side of the ramp! The whole stretcher just fell on TBL! The end has come I think! Ethan Tyler spits on TBL and goes into the back leaving TBL on the ground. Wait! Here comes Tom Stone and he has a can of something!

The Informer - Stone has a can of gas! I can smell it as he dumps it all over TBL! Now Stone has a match.... Uh boy.

Eddie Sensation - JEW-B-QUE! JEW-B-QUE! WE'RE COOKING WITH GAS TONIGHT! I'll get the buns!

Vic Canon - You're sick Eddie... Very sick. Well, Stone is laughing as medical team is putting TBL out with fire estinguishers..... Stick a fork in The Bottom Line, he's done.

The Informer - Well done I may add.... and it gave Ethan Tyler a permanent spot on the EWA roster.

Rachel Stevens - Moral, in a few minutes you will be stepping in the ring with Arthryn. We all know that you have been having a heated feud for the past few weeks... do you have any last comments on Arthryn, or the match in general?

Moral - [Chuckling] God Rachel, you make it sound like I'm going to go down on the shooting wall! Lets see here, the only last comments I have for Arthryn is that he better be prepared for the punishment he is about to be dealt, because a lots coming his way! And if he doesn't believe me, then he can push me...like I said awhile ago, he can push me over the fucking edge, but that leaves a whole shit load of pain for him as the outcome! Arthryn, I'm a force to be reckoned with, doesn't that mean anything to you? Obviously not, because if it did...you wouldn't be fucking with the best! Remember this, I'm not out for the North American title, I'm out for you... and I'm not going to stop until I hurt you... hurt you good! [Chuckling]

Rachel Stevens - You sound pretty confident about winning this match. Now Arthryn added a special stipulation to this match, he announced that it would be an Inferno Match. Does that added stipulation effect you in anyway?

Moral - Inferno Match, no Inferno Match... doesn't matter to me! It's a good thing in a way, a good thing because I get an added addition to my arsenal to inflict pain on his miserable body! Arthryn, you called this match last week a fuck with fire, well I'm the fire... and I'm gonna burn you every step of the way! YOU BETTER BE PREPARED! [Laughs hysterically]

Rachel Stevens - Over to you, Zed!

Zed - With me now is Arthryn. No, I'm not talking about some itchy butt cream, I'm talking about the wrestler. Arthryn, you and Moral love playing with fire, and tonight, you're going to be participating in an Inferno match. You know very well that you could get seriously hurt tonight...well, at least we hope you know that. In fact, you could even die. Is Moral worth all that?

Arthryn - Zed, any man who's tried once to burn my ass and end my career on the spot deserves not only that, but also an electrical post up their lilly-pink-asses. So yes, Moral is woth all of this. His screams and moans of pain and agony shall be worth it.

Zed - It was somewhat nice having you with us in the EWA Arthryn. You will forever be remembered for making such a difference in this fine federation. We will all remember you as the guy who......the guy who.....uhhh.....SEE YOU IN HELL!! [Extends Hand]

Arthryn - Are you saying I'm about to lose, Zed? Is that right? Because if that is, you'd quickly turn into an . . . Arthryn-offender. And one way or the other, Zed...every Arthryn offender is left EXECUTED. So how about you take your hand, extend it over to my genitals, get on your knees...and well...how about you suck on this? Huh?? Psycho.

Zed - May the lord be with him. Back to you guys at ringside!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a North American Title Inferno Match!

["Children Of The Korn" by Korn blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'4" and weighing in at 278 pounds, from Hells Kitchen, New York, Moral!

[Moral steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

["Hangman Jury" by Aerosmith blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'10" and weighing in at 312 pounds, from San Juan, Puerto Rico, the EWA North American Champion, Arthryn!

[The EWA North American Champion, Arthryn steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - EWA technicians have lit the gas... this ring is surrounded by fire!

Vic Canon - Arthryn and Moral lock up.... Arthryn grabs him in a headlock, and knee's Moral in the face! Now he knee's him in the stomach, 4 times!

Eddie Sensation - Arthryn rips of Morals shirt! HA!! ARTHRYN LIT IT ON FIRE, AND THREW IT AT MORAL!!!!

The Informer - Sorry folks, that doesnt count as a win! But Moral probably has a few burns on his chest!

Vic Canon - Arthryn grabs Moral... GERMAN SUPLEX!! And if Moral stays there long enough, the heat from that fire will light his hair on fire!

Eddie Sensation - Arthryn picks up Moral... he throws him to the ropes, Moral bounces back... Arthryn moves back, and sends Moral over the top rope!

The Informer - Moral went soaring over the flames! He's lucky he didnt get caught on fire!

Vic Canon - But this isn't supposed to happen... this match is supposed to be IN the ring! But Moral is on the outside!

Eddie Sensation - Arthryn jumps to the top rope... LOOK OUT!!!! CROSSBODY!!! HE NAILED MORAL!!!

The Informer - And Arthryn landed right on his feet! He's getting some heat from this Japanese crowd!

Vic Canon - Uh oh.. some fan is flashing a "Arthryn Sucks" sign in Arthryns face!

Eddie Sensation - HA! Arthryn grabbed the sign... AND HE LIT IT ON FIRE!! HAHAHA!!!!

The Informer - OH NO!!! ARTHRYN JUST THREW IT IN THE CROWD!! THOSE ARE FANS, THEY CAN GET HURT!!!!!

Vic Canon - Moral is up, and he runs into Arthryn! Arthryn kicks him in the gut.... OOOH!!! EXECUTION!!!! EXECUTION!!!!

Eddie Sensation - ARTHRYN NAILED HIS MOVE, RIGHT ON THE CONCRETE!!!! MORAL IS OUT COLD!!!!!!!!

The Informer - And these fans are really giving it to Arthryn!! But he doesnt care about them, he's going to take his anger out on Moral!!

Vic Canon - Arthryn isn't done with him... Arthryn whips him into the guardrail... Moral comes stumbling back.... Drop Toe Hold!

Eddie Sensation - MORAL IS ON FIRE!!! MORAL IS ON FIRE!!! ARTHRYN GAVE HIM A DROP TOE HOLD RIGHT INTO IT!!!!!

The Informer - THERE'S THE BELL!! AND HERE COMES THE EWA STAFF TO PUT THE FIRE OUT ON MORAL!!!

Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and STILL EWA North American Champion, Arthryn!

Vic Canon - Moral played with fire, and he finally got burned!

Eddie Sensation - Shut up Vic... you retard...

The Informer - Stone should be pissed, this took a lot of money to set up! And they didnt even use the ring properly!

Vic Canon - Who cares about Stone! Lets just enjoy wasting his money!

[The Man, The Myth, The Legend, The $uperstar Don Michaels has arrived at Global Threat 2000, and he is not a happy man. Behind his calm, casually demeanor burns a rage he hasn't felt in years. The camera follows him carefully as enters his dressing-room. Standing in a corner, with tears swelling her eyes Jeanine Trujillo; Michaels jaw drops.]

Don Michaels - Jeanine? Jeanine.

[Michaels rushes over to Jeanine and holds tightly against his chest. Jeanine Trujillo. Jeanine is crying now. Michaels is torn between two emotions, rage that Hayes and Hamric would cause such pain to the woman he loves, and relief that she's out of their hands.]

Don Michaels - Are you okay? Did they hurt you, did they touch you in any way?

Jeanine Trujillo - I'm okay, it's just that this is beginning to be too much for me Don. I can't go on like this. Every time someone wants to take a shot at you, they come straight for me. And I don't know if I can handle this anymore.

Don Michaels - Don't worry baby, tonight, is the last night you'll ever have to deal with this. I promise.

[Jeanine looks up at Michaels, almost pitifully.]

Jeanine Trujillo - You promise?

[Michaels caresses Jeanine cheeks, wiping away the tears.]

Don Michaels - Yes, as long as you do what I tell you to, when I tell you to. Then I can guarentee it.

[Jeanine buries her face in Michaels broad chest, and the scene fades out.]

Rachel Stevens - I'm here with ex-Tag Champion and ex-Mexican Connection member, Moochie. Now, Moochie, how is your neck? You have had a ton of blows taken to it the last two weeks from the hands of El GiGante!

[Moochie touches his neckbrace and makes a face of pain.]

Moochie - Yeh mengita! That biotch El GiGante did a ton o' shit to me neck. But you know what be funny? He is still a biotch, and he will always be a biotch. He did nuttin' for dee Mexican Connection. I mean, he didn't win the titles. I did dat. He just lost dem to 'dose freaking Cows In Black. And dee other funny ting is dee fact dat he ain't even really Mexican. He was born in dee ole USA. Hence, he was never a REAL part of Mexican Connection.

Rachel Stevens - I guess this means that the Mexican Connection is done for?

Moochie - Damn straight mengita! I can't stay wit dat biotch! He's just a pain in dee arse! Dee bastard won't even apologize for what he did to mah neck. He's just dat shallow.

Rachel Stevens - Well, you did cost him multiple matches....

Moochie - So? He gave me a bad neck. Dee fucker!

Rachel Stevens - Would you please watch your language Mr. Moochie?!

Moochie - Fuck? Biotch? Whore? Slut? Cocksucking cumguzzler?

Rachel Stevens - Please Mr. Moochie! Your sounding like that blasted John 5 character!

Moochie - JOHNNY 5 IS FUCKING ALIVE!

Rachel Stevens - That's it! Over to you Zed!

Zed - Joining me at the moment is El GiGante. Mr. El, tonight you and your best friend, and tag team partner of many years, will be going one on one, in the ring....in a TABLE MATCH!!!!!!! What the hell happened with you two anyway? You guys were once the EWA Tag Champs.

El GiGante - Yes amigo we were once the tag champs. But remember it was all me. I carried this dang team Zed. Moochie put no work into winning those titles.

Zed - Well if I might ad El either did you. The Cows In Black helped you two out with the victory.

El GiGante - Ahh shut up! You and I both know I was the main playa in that team esa. Weeks after we won the titles the little bitch would keep complaining and bitching to me. Recently I didn't feel like taking his shit so I gave it right back to him meng. Moochie thinks he's the greatest but actually he blows. Tonight I will end Moochie's career. Just be prepared for the meanest "TRUE" MeXican is on the prowl!

Zed - Moochie seems to have a bad neck, and it looks like you're purposely trying to make his neck worse. What kind of friend are you?!?

El GiGante - I'm not his friend anymore esa. Moochie is an a*shole and now I'm gonna ruin his career by shattering his beck. There's nothing more to say about it Zed. Moochie remember what I told you about messing with me and then you f*ck with death meng. Well tonight DEATH is coming straight at ya with a extra dosage. Now how bout ya bank on that one MOTHER FUCKA!

Zed - Back to guys at ringside...

Chris Myers - This next match is a Table Match!

["Rap Superstar" by Cypress Hill blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 5'10" and weighing in at 175 pounds, from Brooklyn, New York, El GiGante!

[El GiGante steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - Well here comes GiGante... and these fans aren't too happy to see him!

Vic Canon - Well what do you expect?! He hates his former Tag Team Partner, and wants to break his neck!

Eddie Sensation - Holy crap.. these fans just EXPLODED into cheers!

The Informer - What is going on here?

Vic Canon - LOOK! THERE'S MOOCHIE! He climbed out of the stands, and he's behind Gigante, Gigante needs to turn around!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT!!!

The Informer - OH NO! Moochie clocked him! He's jumped on him, and is beating the life out of him, this crowd is going crazy!

Vic Canon - Moochie has Gigante by the hair, and is slamming the back of his head over and over again against the mat, he is POSSESSED! I can't believe this man has so much energy after such a HORRIBLE injury!

The Informer - You took the words right out of my mouth! Moochie drags him outside of the ring, and whips Gigante HARD against the ring post! Did you see Gigante's head smack against the hard steel?!

Eddie Sensation - Damn right I did! Those noises are the only difference betwen being in the crowd, and watching on TV! And let me tell you, those noises are the only reason I'm still doing this crappy job today!

The Informer - Will someone get Eddie some ear plus, so he'll finally leave?!?!

Vic Canon - Haha! Well, Moochie HAS to have a serious concussion after that one!!! Moochie picks up a steel chair, and PLASTERS Gigante with it! Remember fans, this is a Table match, no DQs, no countouts, no pinfalls, no submissions. The winner of this match is the man that puts his opponent through a table!

Eddie Sensation - Oh man, that one must have hurt!

The Informer - Moochie is dragging Gigante around the ring. MAN! He just whipped Gigante into the guardrail with GREAT force!

Vic Canon - Gigante just let out a loud yell as he winces in pain.

Eddie Sensation - Ha! It's things like that which make the match!

The Informer - Moochie lands a few hard rights, and than LASHES Gigante with a trademark chop, and another, and ANOTHER! He throws Gigante back in the ring, and goes underneath, YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS.... IT'S TABLE TIME!

Eddie Sensation - WOOHOO!!

Vic Canon - Listen to this crowd erupt! Here comes Moochie back into the ring, and sets up the table! The crowd is on it's feet!

The Informer - Moochie lifts up Gigante, and hoists him onto the top rope. He climbs on after him, MY GOD HE'S GOING TO SUPERPLEX HIM ONTO THE TABLE! This will end the match! NO!!! Gigante blocks it, and drops Moochie down onto the rope, making him straddle it! MOOCHIE IS IN A WORLD OF PAIN! OH MY!

Vic Canon - Oh man! That right there just changed this match, dramatically!

Eddie Sensation - HAHA!! Things like that is what makes it STILL hurt after the match!

The Informer - Gigante with a missle dropkick, knocking Moochie off the rope, and onto the floor!

Vic Canon - Did you see Moochie's neck hit the ring apron?! It was damaged already, and that could only ADD to his troubles!

Eddie Sensation - Hey, look!! Gigante is waiting for Moochie to get up!

The Informer - LOOK OUT! SPRINGBOARD CROSS BODY BLOCK ONTO THE FLOOR! He landed that perfectly! Look at him now, he's stomping away at Moochie's neck, the man is RUTHLESS!

Vic Canon - OH NO! He's got his knee on Moochie's throat, and he's raking his eyes! The crowd is booing mercilessly, they DO NOT like Gigante's tactics here!

Eddie Sensation - Well, I LOVE them.

Vic Canon - You would. Gigante throws Moochie back in the ring, and climbs up onto the top rope. He leaps off, and lands a guillotine leg drop!

The Informer - Perfectly hit! He goes for the cover, but there's no pinfalls in this matchup!! It's a table match! Gigante just realized that, and he's picking up Moochie, going for a suplex!

Eddie Sensation - ....OOH!!! DAMN! He just dropped him stomach first onto the ring ropes, hanging him out to dry! Moochie must be in AGONY! THOSE RING ROPES ARE LIKE RAZORS!

Vic Canon - Gigante grabs Moochie around the waist, lifts him up over his head, turns around, and plants him with a dominator!

Eddie Sensation - Brutal!

The Informer - Brutal indeed! It's academic here, Moochie has nothing left! Gigante picks him up, but he's not going for the table, he wants to make him suffer more! He puts him between his legs.... PILEDRIVER! RIGHT ON THE INJURED NECK TOO, THAT COULD HAVE SNAPPED HIM IN HALF!

Vic Canon - El Gigante is not only a giant, HE'S A MONSTER! DAMN HIM! He's just standing over Moochie, laughing now, mocking him. OH MY! He just slapped Moochie in the face!

Eddie Sensation - Haha! Senseless brutality! I love it!

The Informer - That was uncalled for, he has the match won! He sets the table up in the middle of the ring, and picks Moochie back up on his feet. It HAS to be over here!

Vic Canon - He lifts him up, and drops him backwards onto the top turnbuckle. He climbs up after him, what is he going to do here?! BACK SUPLEX OFF THE TOP ROPE!!!! BOTH MEN WENT THROUGH THE TABLE!!!

Eddie Sensation - Who is the winner here?

The Informer - I don't know! THAT WAS INCREDIBLE! The bell isn't ringing, so I guess that since both men went through the table, the match MUST CONTINUE!!!

Vic Canon - Well GOOD! This match is great!

Eddie Sensation - I BEG to differ.

The Informer - Both men are lying flat on their back, but Moochie HAD to have gotten the worst of that! He landed neck first on the table, while Gigante landed back first, he was folded up like an accordian!

Vic Canon - I think you're right, because Gigante is getting up first. OH MAN! He just wound up, and kicked Moochie right in the side of the head! This man is a sick human being!

Eddie Sensation - Which is why I like him so much!

The Informer - He grabs Moochie by the hair.... NECKBREAKER! Great move, I couldn't think of a better thing to do to Moochie!

Vic Canon - Look at the poor man, he's squirming, somebody should really stop this match, it's getting a little out of hand.

Eddie Sensation - This is the EWA Vic!

The Informer - Gigante sets Moochie up on the top rope, what could be possibly do to Moochie that he hasn't already done before?

Vic Canon - TOP ROPE FRANKENSTEINKER! BUT NO! Moochie has blocked it, and Gigante is hanging upside down! Moochie is trying to lift him back up, he's grunting with all his might. HE'S DONE IT..... OH MY GOD! MOOCHIE BOMB!!

Eddie Sensation - MOOCHIE BOMB?

The Informer - It's Moochie's version of a top rope powerbomb! WHAT A TEST OF STRENGTH, I CAN'T BELIEVE MOOCHIE HAD IT LEFT IN HIM!

Vic Canon - Both men are down, and neither are moving! The move must have knocked Gigante out, but also taken Moochie's last ounce of strength!

Eddie Sensation - They've been down for several minutes, who is going to show signs of life first?

The Informer - IT'S MOOCHIE! HE'S CLIMBING BACK TO HIS FEET! He's raising an arm in the air, that sick freak! He is going back outside, HE HAS ANOTHER TABLE!

Eddie Sensation - HERE WE GO!

The Informer - He sets the table up, and lays Gigante down on it. HE'S GOING OUTSIDE! He's ascended the top rope!

Vic Canon - This could be it for Gigante! If Moochie hits this, it's over!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK! SOMEONE IS COMING DOWN TO RINGSIDE! WHO THE HELL?!?!

The Informer - I know that man, it's ZOOMER, and he's here in the EWA! He slides in the ring, and pulls Gigante off the table! LOOK OUT!! MOOCHIE JUST JUMPED OFF THE TOP ROPE, TRYING TO HIT "SERENITY NOW"!!!! MOOCHIE JUST CRASHED THROUGH THE TABLE! Gigante wins!!

Chris Myers - The winner of this match, El Gigante!

Vic Canon - Gigante has won! What a battle! "Zoomer" pulled Gigante off the table at the LAST second! And that's what cost Moochie the match!

Eddie Sensation - But it's not over yet, Zoomer and El Gigante are continuing to pound on a fallen Moochie! They seemed to have formed some sort of an alliance! I LOVE IT!

The Informer - Gigante is climbing outside, he is setting up a table on the floor! ZOOMER picks Moochie high above his head, THEY AREN'T GOING TO DO THIS! THEY CAN'T! OH NO! AWESOMEBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE ONTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR!

Eddie Sensation - YYYYEEEEESSSSS!

Vic Canon - NO! Moochie is quivering on the floor, I think his neck might be broken! He's quivering, and Gigante and ZOOMER are merely laughing at him!

The Informer - They are leaving the ring now, but the damage has been done. Gigante is victorious, and he has left his former tag team partner laying!

Eddie Sensation - Oh great, here come the medics...

[A full ambulance crew wheels a stretcher down to ringside. They start to work on Moochie, while the crowd looks on, concerned. They fit him for an immobile neck brace, and lift him carefully onto the stretcher. They wheel him out as the crowd stands and applauds on of their fallen wrestlers.]

The Informer - Fans, we are sorry for the delay, but we have a really horrible situation on our hands. Moochie is seriously hurt, and his career could very well be over. The medics are clearing out, and we should be able to get back to our PPV extravaganza momentarily. Once again, we are sorry that you had to witness that.

Eddie Sensation - Speak for yourself, that was GREAT!

Vic Canon - Shut up Eddie, take something seriously for once in your life. Anyway, we still have a lot of action left, including the finals of the World Tour Tournament, an International Title match between Nomad and Howell, and our big 4 way dance for the world title between Chandler, Chris Jericho, Devine, and Serial Thrylla.

The Informer - I understand that we are about to get back underway, so I would just like to thank the fans for their patience...

Zed - With me now are the Cows. Cows, tonight you guys defend your titles for the first time, against the Highly Conceited Bastards. What are your thoughts on them?

European Cow - I RECKON IT'S ABOUT TIME FOR AN ASS WHOOPING!!! The Cows In Black as one HALF of the Fu Man Crew are ready to defend our belts and our first victims will be the Highly Coneceited Bastards.... Now I ain't no Oxford man.... but don't they make sidewalks out of Conceiet??? Or is that concrete....

International Cow - MOO!!!!!!!!!

Zed - The EWA has very small....small....pathetic....tag team division. Wasn't your purpose to bring MORE tag teams into the EWA, and not make them leave?

European Cow - WHO CARES ABOUT THE EWA!!!! WE ONLY CARE ABOUT 2 THINGS..... BESSY AND OUR EWA TITLES! THE EWA CAN KISS OUR FU MAN CREW ASSES....

International Cow - Yeah that's right... the EWA has done jack shit to help us become superstars.... and their divison sucks because of that idiot Tom Stone... So WE WILL BE THE GREATEST TAG CHAMPS OF ALL TIME.... AIN'T THAT RIGHT BESSY????

Bessy - MOOO!!!!

European Cow - And you just heard it... STRAIGHT FROM THE COWS MOUTH!

Zed - Back to you guys at ringside!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the EWA Tag Team Titles!

["Champion" by Buju Banton blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by Joe, at a total combined weight of 508 pounds, Johnny "Big Cash" Flash and Rocky Blonde, the Highly Conceited Bastards!

[Joe and The Highly Conceited Bastards step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

["Cows In Black" by Will Smith blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - And their opponents... accompanied to the ring by Bessy, at a total combined weight of 545 pounds, the EWA Tag Team Champions, the Cows In Black!

[Bessy and the EWA Tag Team Champions, the Cows in Black step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - With the expection of Bry2K and Hacker, these two are the only tag teams left in the EWA!

Vic Canon - That's pretty bad...

Eddie Sensation - You can say that again!

The Informer - There's the bell... here we go! Johnny Flash charges at European Cow! European Cow ducks, but grabs Johnny's arm! Full Nelson! NO!! TWO PERCENT!!! EUROPEAN COW HAS HIT HIS BIG MOVE!!!

Vic Canon - This match could be over! He goes for the pin... 1.... 2.... No! Rocky Blonde breaks the count! But here comes International Cow! He charges at Rocky Blonde.... and clotheslines him over the top!

Eddie Sensation - Haha!

The Informer - International sets up Johnny Flash! European Cow is in position!

Vic Canon - They lift him...... YES! SKIMMED MILK! They nailed it! European Cow goes for the cover.... 1..... 2.... 3!!!!

Eddie Sensation - HA! That was quick!

Chris Myers - The winners of this match, and STILL EWA Tag Team Champions, the Cows In Black!

The Informer - Damn! These Cows are now 6-0! What will stop them?!

Vic Canon - Not the EWA's tag team division! That's for sure!

Zed - Joning me here via television is "Tricky" Tiki Tortez. Tonight Tiki, you defend the Extreme Title for the first time, but it will be in a Japanese Dojo. Why would you pick a Japanese Dojo as the location of this match?

"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - A Japanese Dojo? Gee, I don't really have an answer for that. I just plain out wanted a Japanese Dojo. Sure, we could have fought in a regular match, a warehouse, or hell, even maybe a backstage area. But, when I heard that there was a vacant Dojo in town, my instincts were to go for it. In this Dojo we are going to be supplied with many different objects including those wonderful Ninja weapons.

Zed - Currently, Ghost From Hell is the only other person in the Extreme Division right now. What are your thoughts on that?

"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - My thoughts on that? Geez, I haven't heard a question that dumb since that DiMarco guy was here. Yeah, maybe Ghost from Hell is the only other guy in this Extreme Title division and it burns my insides. Why you ask? Because he sucks! How can Mr. Stone expect me to raise my potential when he throws me against someone like Ghost from Hell every week. I suggest that he gets his ass in gear and finds some real talent. I am not going to waste my time with him anymore...I will fight anyone! Anyone with talent has the opportunity to fight me, and they will see why tomorrow, after I retain my Extreme Title tonight. But for now, that is all I have to say. So see ya.

Zed - There you have it, strong words from a very confident human being. Back to ringside!!

The Informer - It is now time for our Japanese Dojo match for the Extreme Title. "Tricky" Tiki Tortez will be taking on Ghost From Hell.

Vic Canon - I am not really sure what to expect here, but it should be interesting. I understand that both men are waiting, so let's send it out to the site of this Extreme Title match.

[The scene shifts to a modern Dojo, where both Tortez and Ghost From Hell are waiting. There room is cluttered with weapons, too many to imagine. The referee is there as well, and he signals for the match to begin]

The Informer - Here we go, both men charge each other, and lock up, pushing each other from wall to wall, trying to gain the upper hand. Ghost From Hell quickly steps aside, and throws Tortez into the wall! Tortex stumbles back, and Ghost gives him a knee to the back, sending him face first into the wall, and crashing down to the mat. Ghost covers, but Tortez kicks out IMMEDIATELY!

Vic Canon - Ghost From Hell is lightly quick. He dashes to one corner of the room, grabbing hold of a long Japanese wooden bo. He's wasting no time as far as the heavy artillery goes! OH MAN! He just smashed the bo against Tortez's leg, but it didn't break!

Eddie Sensation - I don't believe it!

The Informer - I do, Japanese bo's are made of the strongest wood, that is what makes them so affective.

Eddie Sensation - Whatever.

The Informer - Ghost From Hell is slamming the bo repeatedly into the knee and thigh of Tortez, really working him over. Tortez crumples to the ground, obviously in a lot of pain. Ghost From Hell raises the bow over his head, and brings it straight down against Tortez's neck! Did you hear the impact there? This Ghost From Hell character must have a lot of martial arts experience!

Vic Canon - He lifts the bo again, but NO! Tortez blocks it, and grabs hold of one end of the bow, and now both men are trying to wrestle it away from each other! They are swinging each other around by the bo! UH OH! Ghost From Hell's hands slipped off the bo, and Tortez cracks him over the head with it, again and again, he's like a madman! Ghost From Hell staggers against the wall, and Tortez charges in....HE JUST SPEARED GHOST IN THE RIBS WITH THE BO!

Eddie Sensation - That one is gonna hurt in the morning!

The Informer - Listen to those gasps of breath coming from Ghost From Hell, that bo hit him in just the right spot. Tortez throws the bo down, and gives Ghost From Hell a hiptoss, sending him crashing down to the mat. He makes a quick cover, but Ghost From Hell kicks out!

Vic Canon - Tortez walks over to the a shelve in the room, what is he putting on his hands? Those are sparring gloves, especially designed to increase the impact of punches! He mounts Ghost From Hell, and starts to pound away on his head! He must have hit him with 10 or 20 solid right hands!

The Informer - Tortez throws the gloves aside, and walks over to Ghost, but Ghost quickly catches his leg, trips him up, and locks on the STF, Tortez is in a lot of pain! This is one of the most reknown submission holds in Japanese wrestling, and Tortez is feeling the effects. The referee is asking him if he wants to give it up, but Tortez is saying no ADAMANTLY! Ghost From Hell releases the hold, and grabs a Kendo Stick. WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! 5 STRAIGHT VICIOUS SHOTS TO THE KIDNEYS! Tortez is SCREAMING in pain!

Vic Canon - This Ghost From Hell seems to know what it takes to win a match like this, I am a little surprised at how easily he has dominated this matchup! Ghost From Hell raises the Kendo Stick high above his head, waiting, measuring Tortez. WHAM! He just cracked it over Tortez's head, sending him crashing to the mat! Tortez is busted open!

The Informer - LOOK AT WHAT Ghost From Hell IS DOING, HE'S JAMMING THE BUTT END OF THE KENDO STICK INTO THE BLOODIED SKULL OF TORTEZ!

Eddie Sensation - The brutality, this is GREAT!

Vic Canon - He is REALLY digging in with that stick, ripping the gash on Tortez's head WIDE open. Tortez is bleeding really badly here, he's GUSHING!

The Informer - The mat of the dojo is stained with crimson, that really is a NASTY cut. Ghost From Hell makes a cover! 1...2...shoulder up! Somehow, through all the blood and pain, Tricky Tiki Tortez found a way to avoid the pinfall.

Vic Canon - Ghost From Hell picks Tortez up, and takes a swing at him, but Tortez ducks, kicks him in the stomach, bounces off one of the walls, and lands a jumping axe kick! That sent Ghost From Hell crashing to the floor!

The Informer - Tortez scurries over and grabs one of those ropes used for climbing, and wraps it up in layers. He's whipping Ghost From Hell, look at those red lines across his back!

Vic Canon - He throws the rope aside, and grabs one of the folding chairs used for viewing. He waits patiently for Ghost From Hell to get up, and smashes him on top of the head with the chair. Ghost From Hell is busted open now too!

The Informer - LOOK AT THIS! Tortez is resting the steel chair on Ghost From Hell's face, and he's picked up the kendo stick again! He's slamming the Kendo stick down onto the chair, over and over again! That has to hurt twice as much!

Vic Canon - What a brutal match we have on our hands, you seem to be awefully quiet over there Eddie?

Eddie Sensation - I can't believe what I'm seeing!

The Informer - Neither can I, both men are pushing each other to the limit! Tortez charges at Ghost From Hell, but he sideswipes him, and grabs Tortez by the hair...RUNNING BULLDOG onto the chair! He turns Tortez over! 1....2....kickout by the champ! We almost had a title change there!

Vic Canon - This match is back and forth, both men are battered and bloodied! Ghost From Hell picks up Tortez, and bodyslams him. Look, a wrestling move! He drops a quick leg, and covers, but Tortez manages to kick out!

The Informer - What is Ghost doing now? HE HAS A CINDER BLOCK! He takes a swing a Tortez, but the champ ducks, and knocks the Cinder Block out of his hands! Ghost turns around, and Tortez kicks him in the stomach...DDT ON THE CINDERBLOCK! He just shattered the block with Ghost's head! The cover! 1...2...NO!!

Eddie Sensation - UNBELIEVABLE!

Vic Canon - I don't know how Ghost From Hell managed to kick out of that one! That was BRUTAL! Tortez is checking Ghost's lifeless body, he seems to be out! OH NO! Ghost just threw powder in Tortez's face and eyes! Tortez is screaming in pain, swingingly wildly! He must be blinded! He is helpless, and now Ghost From Hell is back on his feet!

The Informer - This is HORRIBLE! Tortez is helpless, and he's easy pickings for the Ghost From Hell! Ghost has a pair of nunchucks, the most deadly of all the martial arts weapons! They can kill a man! OH NO! He is spinning them around, he must be trained in the martial arts! He's dicing Tortez up, plastering him with shot after shot, Tortez is going down!

Vic Canon - Tortez is down on the mat, bleeding profusely, this looks bad folks. Ghost From Hell picks him back up, and points over towards the mirrow spanning the full length of the wall. He runs towards the wall, BUT TORTEZ REVERSES IT AND SENDS Ghost From Hell CRASHING HEADFIRST THROUGH THE MIRROR!!!! OH MY GOD....GHOST has GLASS STUCK IN HIS HEAD!!!!

The Informer - He's a bloody mess, and completely out on his feet! Tortez is not done yet though, he's ripping the padding off the mat, to explose the hard wood floor! He sets Ghost From Hell up between his legs...oh no....PILEDRIVER THROUGH THE WOOD! HE JUST DROVE GHOST'S HEAD STRAIGHT THROUGH THE WOOD FLOOR! LOOK AT THE BLOOD SPURTING OUT FROM THE HOLE!

Vic Canon - I have NEVER seen anything like that! Tortez pulls Ghost from the hole, OH MY GOD! He's so bloodied and disfigured that you can't even recognize his face! Tortez makes the cover! 1...2...3!!!! What a match!

Eddie Sensation - Tortez wins!

The Informer - He is slowly making his way back to his feet, what a fighting champion, he might be the most brutal Extreme Champion the EWA has EVER had!

Vic Canon - You might be right, that was one of the most bloody and awe inspiring fights that I have ever been witness to.

Eddie Sensation - Not even I know what to say after that.

Vic Canon - Tricky Tiki Tortez has earned his title tonight. He is walking out of the Dojo, leaving his opponent laying.

The Informer - You have to give Ghost From Hell credit, he put up one hell of a fight, no pun intended.

Vic Canon - Yes, he did, but in the end, Tortez was just the more extreme man. Let's get back to the arena.

[The scene shifts back to the 3 announcers at their booths. Each has lost all the color in their face, obviously shocked and horrified with what they have just seen]

Zed - I'm currently being joined by two very respectable Gentlemen, Lorenzo Hayes and Josh Hamric. Mr. Hayes, Mr. Hamric, tonight you two have a mixed tag team match. This could be a great chance for you two to humiliate Don Michaels. But....if you lose...wouldn't that be embarassing?

Lorenzo Hayes - Embarassing? Seriously Zed, are you just an idiot or haveyou not been paying attention for the past month?

Zed - What do you mean?

Lorenzo Hayes - Think back to June 18. The EWA presented "Break Down". On that Sunday night from the Gaylord Arena, Lorenzo Hayes was special referee in a match between Iceberg Slim and Don Michaels. I thought that I had everything going for me. I will admit it I planned on attacking Michaels. But in a few short seconds my scheme turned to dust, as I got out smarted by not only Don Michaels... but Iceberg Slim also. They aligned and went on to give me the biggest beating I have ever taken in my career and not only did they do that... but they EMBARRESSED me! And not only me but my beautiful Fianc� Dominique Toto. Embarrssment? I don't really give a fuck about that! All I care about is payback! Do you understand, Zed?

Zed - Yep, completely!

Lorenzo Hayes - Good! Tonight at Global Threat "ThE kInG oF gLiTz AnD gLaMoUr" Lorenzo Hayes get's his redemption! Tonight Lorenzo Hayes and Don Michaels bitter enimies will finally meet in the ring, no sneak attacks, no war of words! Tonight Don Michaels the student becomes the teacher and tonight the once mentor feels the full effect of SHOWTIME!

Zed - If you guys get Jeanine Trujillo in the ring, are you going to let her off easy? Or are you going to treat her the way you'd treat any other wrestler? You know, heh heh, get physical? Heh heh heh.

Josh Hamric - [Sarcastically] HAHAHA! That is some funny ass sh*t! NOT! Zed, who the hell do you think you are? I could care less about Jeanine Trujillo's physical features. The fact of the matter is she's nothing more than a skanky bitch! Yes, you f*cking dumbass... I will treat her like ANY other wrestler I would whip! I'm gonna brake EVERYTHING nice about this girl! She's in for an ass kicking... of a lifetime!

Zed - Well, there you have it. Over to you Rachel!

[The scene switches to Don Michael's locker-room, standing with him is the lovely Rachael Stevens. Michaels is dressed as an FTD flower deliveryman. Complete with overalls, a fake beard, a baseball cap pulled low over his eyes, a clipboard, and a vase full of daisies.]

Rachel Stevens - Hello Don, I've got a few questions to ask you before your tag-team match here at Global Threat. But first; why are you dressed up like this.

Don Michaels - I'm an actor babe, and right now I'm going to do some acting all over Lorenzo Hayes' face.

Rachel Stevens - But you have a match in a few minutes. I'm sure you'll get a chance to settle things then.

Don Michaels - Well, I just can't wait that long. That punk Hayes has been stealing my spotlight long enough, it's time for him to get his.

Rachel Stevens - Speaking of the match you have to know that the odds are against you. There's just no way that Jeaine Trujillo can hold her own against either Lorenzo Hayes, or Josh Hamric. How are you going to pull this off?

[Michaels looks at Stevens and smirks.]

Don Michaels - I'm "The $uperstar" Don Michaels, and The $uperstar always has a plan. Just wait and see. Now look Rachel, you know that you're my favorite spokesperson, but I'm really sort of busy right now so close that pretty little mouth of yours and just follow me.

[Stevens nods. Michaels paces through the hallway of swiftly and with purpose. Rachael Stevens and her cameraman can barely keep up. Michaels stops at a dressing room, the name plate on it reads, Lorenzo Hayes.]

Don Michaels - FTD special delivery for Josh Hamric.

[Michaels' head is down, not revealing much of his disguised face. Hamric opens the door slowly, and Michaels hands him the clipboard. Hamric is totally fooled.]

Don Michaels - Sign here.

[As Josh Hamric signs the clipboard Michaels smashes the vase of flowers into Hamric's skull. Dazed by the blow, and blinded by the water in his eyes, Hamric staggers back and collapses. Lorenzo Hayes looks up from tormenting Jeanine just in time to see what has just transpired, He rushes Michaels and the two begin to exchange lefts and rights. The two superstars of wrestling brawl their way out of the room, knocking over Rachel Stevens, plowing through the cameraman. The fury of the battle knocks of Michaels cap, even his fake beard. Upon seeing who this delivery man is Hayes begins to brawl even harder, and Michaels retaliates in turn. Finally EWA security swarms the hallway and somehow separate the two. The shot settles on a rather shaken Rachel Stevens.]

Rachel Stevens - B-b-b.....back to you guys at ringside.

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Tag Team Match!

["My Way" by Frank Sinatra blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... "The $uperstar" Don Michaels and Jeanine Trujillo!

[Jeanine Trujillo and "The $uperstar" Don Michaels step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

["What's The Difference" by Eminem & Dr. Dre blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - And their opponents... "Mr. Ratings" Lorenzo Hayes and Josh Hamric!

["Mr. Ratings" Lorenzo Hayes and Josh Hamric steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - These match should be pretty heated... These 4 hate each other!

Vic Canon - And we have 2 women in the match.... I mean, 1 woman!

Eddie Sensation - Haha!! I always knew Lorenzo Hayes was a bitch, but I never thought Vic would agree!!

The Informer - Umm.... I think he was talking about Josh Hamric.

Vic Canon - I was.

Eddie Sensation - Oh... uhh, okay....

The Informer - Don Michaels is starting this one off against Josh Hamric!!! Uh oh! Michaels plans on killing Hammy tonight! But Hamric doesnt look too scared!

Vic Canon - Wait a minute.... Jeanine Trujillo is calling the ref over!

Eddie Sensation - What the hell?? Jeanine is asking the referee to tie her pants!

The Informer - Ha! And it's not as weird as it seems.... Jeanine Trujillo has strings at the back of her pants, which seem to have come undone!

Eddie Sensation - YES YES!!!! TAKE IT OFF!!!!

The Informer - Wait a minute... Don Michaels just pulled out some brass knuckles!! The referee's back is turned!!

Vic Canon - OOH!!! MICHAELS JUST SLUGGED LORENZO HAYES IN THE JAW WITH THOSE BRASS KNUCKLES!!! HAYES IS DOWN, AND OUT!!!!

Eddie Sensation - And Don Michaels is rolling Lorenzo Hayes' body out of the ring!

The Informer - Wait a minute.... look at Jeanine Trujillo!! She's... she's....

Vic Canon - Well....

Eddie Sensation - JUST SAY IT! SHE'S RUBBING HER ASS ON HIS COC--

The Informer - EDDIE, WATCH IT!!! The referee's mind is off the match, and on Jeanine Trujillo!

Vic Canon - Wait a minute.... The Paparrazi are out here! And they just handed Don Michaels something!

Eddie Sensation - Its a.... a cell phone! HA!!!

The Informer - Don Michaels has a cell phone in hand.... WHAM!! He nails Josh Hamric with it!

Vic Canon - Michaels drops the cell phone, and grabs Hammy! He sets him up.... THE AUTOGRAPH!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - Ha nailed it! And now Jeanine Trujillo is telling the ref to make the cover! And he is!

The Informer - 1..... 2..... 3!!!!

Chris Myers - And the winners of this match... "The $uperstar" Don Michaels and Jeanine Trujillo!

Vic Canon - Oh man! The referee was so lost in space with Jeanine, that he didnt even notice that Josh Hamric was the illigal man!

Eddie Sensation - HA! And now Don Michaels, Jeanine Trujillo and the Paparazzi are getting out of here! Lorenzo Hayes and Hamric are out cold!

Rachel Stevens - Joining me once again tonight is Howell who will fight Nomad in his own kind of match, a Glass Match, for the EWA International Championship. Do you think you are outmatched in this one since Nomad knows this kind of match the best?

Howell - Glass Match, me vs. Nomad for my EWA International Championship, how can it get any better then that. If anyone thought there was a better match on the card you have to be even more crazy then me. I mean this will be a great night, it will be a night when Nomad gets humiliated in his own kind of match and it will be the night that I prove to him that I am the TRUE EWA International Champion. For Nomad and everyone else who is claiming I am not the real EWA International Champion, then you will be unreservedly surprised when this thing is all said and down. Nomad will be rendered unconscious and I will walk out of the ring International Champion. Because simply Nomad doesn't have what it takes to defeat me... hall of famer... yeah... risk taker... yeah... another wrestler scared of yours truly... of course!

Rachel Stevens - Well I think we saw last week that Nomad isn't afraid of you Howell, and now he must be even more furious after you wouldn't break the Malicious Intent after you had been disqualified...

Howell - You see Rachel is there anything running up in that head of yours... I am not sure if there is... Clearly that is just going to make Nomad even more scared of me then he was before. I mean after you feel the Malicious Intent once... surely you don't want to feel it again... and I know he doesn't want to feel it again... but Nomad's wish will not come true! Don't just fear me making you pass out Nomad... because I wouldn't just be set on winning the International Championship... I wouldn't be just set for making you pass out.... I will only be set if I hurt you... really, really bad!! So Nomad next time remember this... never hunt what you can't kill!!

Rachel Stevens - Over to you Zed!

Zed - Joining me now is Nomad. Mr. Nomad, last you week you went crazy. You snapped. You choked out Stuttering ROD, and vowed to get Howell back. BUT...it was Howell who left you unconscious in the ring.

Nomad - FUCK YOU, ZED!!! He left me unconscious because the fucking bastard didn't obey the rules and break the hold when I got to the ropes. That moves sucks, Malicious Intent is useless. I got to the ropes, and he didn't break the hold. I could shoot him in the fucking face and pin him, but would it be legal?! NO. He can break all the rules he wants, he can spit all the shit from his mouth he wants, but he STILL has to go to bed with the fact that he can never, EVER beat me!!!

Zed - It's quite obvious that you have alot of anger for Howell, but let me remind you, the International Title is on the line. I don't think you want to lose your chance at the title due to your anger getting the best of you.

Nomad - My anger NEVER gets the best of me, Zed. NEVER. I focus my rage, I use it as a tool to KICK ASS. Other people might lose their temper, but I don't. I revel in pain, I live for anguish, and I thrive off suffering. Tonight, I'm getting my fucking title back. And Howell....you're leaving the ring in God-damn body bag.

Zed - Back to you guys at ringside!

The Informer - This next one should be one for the record books!!! We've got Nomad, the three-time International Champion, versus Howell, the challenger. The difference is, Howell has the International Title!!!

Eddie Sensation - HA! I love it!!! Howell wanted the belt, so he took it! Not only that, but it's really getting under Nomad's skin!!!

The Informer - It was actually a beautiful piece of strategy by Howell. He's really got Nomad off kilter here.

Vic Canon - Actually, people have tried to get to Nomad before. If anything, it just makes him more focused and even more dangerous!!!

Eddie Sensation - Yeah, remember the first Hell On Earth match?! Everyone questioned Nomad's validity as World Champ, so he beat Serial Thrylla and Chandler, the two most dangerous men in the EWA today, at the same time to prove that he was legit!!!

The Informer - Wow, a nugget of truth slips from Eddie's lips.

Vic Canon - And here comes Howell!!!

[Howell comes out to no music and no pyro, clutching the EWA International Title as the fans boo. He makes his way down to the ring, and climbs through the ropes]

Eddie Sensation - Howell looks really pumped! He just might EARN that belt tonight!!!

The Informer - Not likely, Eddie, 'cause here comes Nomad!!!

[The crowd erupts as the pulsing bass line of "Time Bomb" by Godsmack starts up over the PA system. Just as the rest of the instruments kick in, neon green and white pyro shoots high into the air. Nomad emerges from the curtain, and steps out onto the platform. He stands there for a moment, staring straight at Howell]

Vic Canon - Holy shit!!! Nomad looks pissed!!! He's stalking down the ring....Howell just turned around to yell at some fans, and-

Eddie Sensation - Here we go, boys!!! Nomad just slid under the rope, and attacked Howell from behind!!! Forearm shots to the back of the head!!!

The Informer - Nomad sets him up....brainbuster!!! He picks him back up....snap sitout powerbomb!!! DAMN!

Vic Canon - Nomad's up on the second tournbuckle with his arms raised, and the fans are chanting his name!!! Damn, what a crowd reaction!!!

Eddie Sensation - He'd better watch out, or Howell might roll him up!!!

The Informer - Howell is half dead, Eddie. Nomad climbs down, and he's keeping Howell down with kicks to the head! Howell is in really bad shape here.

Vic Canon - He's trying to crawl out of the ring, but Nomad's putting him in a Boston Crab!!!

Eddie Sensation - HA HA HA!!! Howell got to one of those sheets of plate glass, and he broke it over Nomad's head to get out of the hold! Beautiful!!!

The Informer - Nomad is bleeding already, and Howell is getting back to his feet. He drops Nomad with a side Russian Leg Sweep, and follows it up with a guillotine legdrop!

Vic Canon - Nomad is trying to get back to his feet, but Howell is raining rights and lefts to his skull!!! Nomad hits a quick legsweep! That might be his opening!

Eddie Sensation - Don't worry, Howell's just getting warmed up!!!

The Informer - Riiight. Nomad gets to his feet, and pulls up Howell. Nomad whips him in....spinebuster into those shards of glass!!! Howell is clutching at his back in pain!!!

Vic Canon - Nomad into the ropes, full head of steam....somersault senton splash!!! Nomad is totally in control here!!!

Eddie Sensation - Not so fast! Howell just slid out of the ring, he's getting a breather!

The Informer - Not so fast....Nomad goes for a top�! NO! Howell moves, and Nomad crashes head-first into the guardrail!!!

Vic Canon - Howell moves in, and tosses Nomad back into the ring. Howell back in, he whips Nomad into the ropes....release overhead belly-to-belly suplex through a sheet of glass!!! Holy shit!!!

Eddie Sensation - Nomad is bleeding like a stuck pig!!! Ha ha ha!!!

The Informer - Nomad is out of it, and Howell is laying a sheet of glass on his body! Howell climbs the turnbuckles, and goes for a big splash!!! Nomad gets his knees up, and Howell crashes right through that glass!!!

Vic Canon - But that backfired on Nomad, too! His legs are bleeding badly! Then again, Howell is screaming in agony!!!

Eddie Sensation - This is insane!!! Both men's careers could end here tonight!!!

The Informer - Nomad is staggering to his feet....he pulls Howell up, who's almost unconscious! SLUGFEST! They're trading lefts and rights!!! Howell for a big right hook, Nomad ducks, and TAKES HOWELL'S HEAD OFF WITH A SPINNING CRESCENT KICK!!!

Vic Canon - Howell staggers back, he bounces off the ropes, and walks right into a Northern Lights Suplex by Nomad! 1....2....NO! Howell gets a shoulder up!

Eddie Sensation - Nomad drops a quick leg across Howell's throat, and sits for the cover! Lance King counts....1....kickout! That won't be enough to put Howell down! Nomad throttles the life out of Howell!!!

The Informer - Lance King breaks it up at the five count! Nomad is like a man possessed!!! He doesn't just want to beat Howell....he wants to kill him!!!

Vic Canon - <--- Sucks at life

Eddie Sensation - Who does he think Howell is, Stuttering ROD?! Ha ha ha!!!

The Informer - Nomad picks up Howell....DAMN! Standing hurracanrana onto those shards of glass!!! Howell is struggling to stay conscious here! Nomad goes for another cover....1....2....kickout! Kickout at 2 �!!!

Vic Canon - Nomad is getting pissed off! He pulls Howell up again, and just starts unloading with rights and lefts! Nomad spins around....discus clothesline!!! Nomad is calling for it! This one's over!

Eddie Sensation - Not if my boy Howell has anything to say about it! Come on, Thurston! Come on!!!

The Informer - Nomad goes outside the ring, and tosses two chairs back in! He climbs back in, and sets those chairs up in the corner facing each other. What's he have planned here?!

Vic Canon - I think we're about to find out! He lays one sheet of glass down between the two chairs, now another, now a third!!! We have a bridge of glass between two folding steel chairs! AND HE'S CALLING FOR THE JOURNEY'S END!!!

Eddie Sensation - But while Nomad has been building his little Lego set contraption over there, Howell has been recuperating! He sneaks up behind Nomad....MALICIOUS INTENT!!! HE'S GOT IT ON!!!

The Informer - Nomad is in pain here! He's trying for the ropes, but he's fading fast!!!

Nomad - This move....fucking....SUCKS!!!

Vic Canon - HOLY SHIT!!! HOWELL JUST HIT AN OVERHEAD SUPLEX WITH THE MALICIOUS INTENT STILL ON!!!

Eddie Sensation - HA HA HA!!! TAKE THAT, YOU GOTHIC DICK!!!

The Informer - Nomad is....he's getting up!!! Howell can't believe it!!! Howell grabs Nomad, he sets him up....vertical suplex!!! He goes for the cover....1....kickout! Nomad's still going!!!

Vic Canon - Howell drags him to his feet, whips him into the ropes....HUGE CLOTHESLINE!!! Howell goes up to the second rope....ELBOW TO THE HEAD!!! He hooks the leg....1....2....KICKOUT!!! Nomad can't be stopped!!!

Eddie Sensation - Howell can't believe this!!! Nomad is trying to get to his feet....he's stumbling....Howell hits him with a Fisherman's Buster through two sheets of glass!!! 1...2...NO!!! HOLY SHIT!!!

The Informer - Howell is pissed off!!! He gets Nomad, drags him over to the corner where that glass bridge is set up, and puts Nomad on the top rope!!! He climbs up after him, he's signaling to the crowd!!!

Vic Canon - And they respond with a "You suck dick" chant!!! Howell picks him up, he's going for a top-rope powerbomb through that glass!!! Nomad hits a forearm to the face of Howell, Howell drops Nomad....Nomad lands on the top turnbuckle, quick knee to the gut of Howell, Howell doubles over, front face lock by Nomad....

Eddie Sensation - JOURNEY'S END!!! JOURNEY'S END THROUGH THAT BRIDGE OF THREE SHEETS OF GLASS!!! LANCE KING COUNTS....

The Informer - ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!!

Vic Canon - THIS ONE'S OVER!!! NOMAD WINS HIS THIRD CONSECUTIVE GLASS MATCH!!! HE'S THREE-AND-O IN THE MATCH HE CREATED!!!

Eddie Sensation - AND ON TOP OF THAT, HE'S GOT HIS BELT BACK!!!

Chris Myers - The winner of this match, and STILL EWA International Champion, Nomad!

The Informer - Nomad picks up the lifeless body of Howell....WANDERING!!! He hit the Wandering just to humiliate him and prove to him that he'll never be the better man!!! And the fans are going wild!!!

Vic Canon - Nomad has done it!!! CAN ANYONE STOP HIM?!?!?!

Rachel Stevens - I'm here with Divine, who tonight will take on Cody Covington in a Japanese Death match. Divine, what thoughts are going through your mind right now?

[Divine is sitting in the corner with his face to the wall. His hands are tapped up around his knuckles with bright pink tape and he's wearing a tight little Japanese Gui with little Pokemon creatures all over it.]

Divine - Rachel...words cannot express my feelings...I'm a little scared...a little excited...and a little aroused!!! The thought of going out there and cramming some chop sticks up Cody Covington's ass is making me so orgasmic that I cant even think straight!! But then again, I've never done a straight thing in my life, so why start now?? Scorpions, explosives, nails, barbed wire, broken glass....all of these items can be found in Tom Stone's sock drawer but tonight they will be in the ring and that really turns me on!! It turns me on for a number of reasons Rachel....and the main reason is because tonight I put an end to Cody Covington and his God Damn meddling. Every time I try to move on with my life this rat bastard has to come back and attack me. I've never had a problem with a man stalking me Rachel!!! Cody thinks he scares me with his little scorpions...doesn't he realize a scorpion is nothing but a big crab, and I have tons of crabs in my pants!!! I think I got them from the Informer...or maybe it was after I borrowed Arthryn's undies.....

Rachel Stevens - How can you say that Cody Covington is stalking you when you were the one who instigated this whole ordeal with Covington? Back at No Fear when you made your return to the EWA it was by taunting and harassing Cody Covington into a match with you.

Divine - Rachel, things like that are trivial!!! So what I've I egged him on a little bit? What of it?!? The man should learn how to take a simple joke....

Rachel Stevens - You video taped him eating, sleeping, and taking a shower!! How is that simple and trivial?!?

Divine - Dont you watch the Real World Rachel?!? What about Big Brother?!? Voyeurism is in girlfriend!! Dont you think I made a sweet buck selling those bad boys down at "The Sweet Tooth"???

Rachel Stevens - The Sweet Tooth?? What's that??

Divine - The Sweet Tooth is a male video store.

Rachel Stevens - Oh no...you didnt!!!

Divine - YES!! I did!! Rachel, when I walked through the door with those video tapes of Cody Covington NUDE those guys were happier than...well...me at the YMCA!!! Remember how big the Pamela Anderson sex tape was?? This will be even bigger, except with a whole different crowd!!!

Rachel Stevens - Ok Divine, one last question, are you at all worried that your Japanese Death match will effect your World Title match tonight against Serial Thrylla, Chandler and Chris Jericho?

Divine - I'm not really sure Rachel, we're just going to have to wait and see arent we?!? I mean, if there is anyone on the planet who can go twice in one night, it's Divine!!! First Cody Covington goes down, then I become the EWA champion!!!

Rachel Stevens - But what about your fellow Fu Man Crew member and EWA Champion Chris Jericho?!?

Divine - What about him??? As long as we keep it in the family, the title is safe...besides...I wouldnt be surprised it I got a little, umm...what's the word I'm looking for...sidetracked, in my match tonight, and got preoccupied trying to see if Thrylla is circumcised!!!!

Rachel Stevens - Ok.... over to you Zed......

[The EWA Big Screen activates and has a promotional picture of the Cody Covington vs. Divine Japanese Death Match. "TNT" by AC/DC plays loudly as a video for the match streams...]

Vic Canon - There goes Tito and Cody Covington, still celebrating with that large group of women.....

The Informer - They're getting into that limo together, it looks like Cody and Tito are quite the ladies men!! They've seemed to have formed some type of alliance. Divine must be fuming!!

Eddie Sensation - Wait a minute!! Speaking of Divine....LOOK AT THE DRIVER OF THAT LIMO!!!

The Informer - MY GOD!!! IT'S DIVINE!!!

Vic Canon - Where's he going to take them?!?

[Divine gets into the drivers seat of the limo and quickly puts on a seat belt and a mouth piece. He lays on the gas and drives directly into the arena wall at about 65 mph.]

Vic Canon - OH....... OH MY GOD.......

Eddie Sensation - I cant believe he just....Divine just....

The Informer - WE NEED TO GET AN AMBULANCE AND SOME MEDICAL OFFICIALS BACK THERE NOW!!!!!!

Vic Canon - Divine just drove that limo straight into a solid concrete wall at about 55 or 60 miles per hour...and Divine was wearing his seat belt and he still hasn't exited the vehicle, so imagine how Cody, Tito and those women are.....

The Informer - You spoke too soon Vic....the drivers door just opened and Divine stumbled out....he's got a little cut on his forehead that's about it....

Vic Canon - Divine has gone WAY TOO FAR this time!!!! That's attempted murder for Christ's sake!!

Zed - With me now is Cody Covington. Cody, Divine has ruined your life for months! He has made you lose your best friends, and all of those with whom you're close. Tonight, you get Divine in a Japanese death match. What WON'T you do to him?

Cody Covington - I'm pretty much pulling out all the stops on this one. I told you before, this has gone on too long ... and tonight it will be put to rest. Under any circumstances, I'm just going out there to HURT him.....

Zed - Divine has been known for his mind games in and out of the ring, however, you seem rather focused. If Divine attempts to get you off your game by playing silly mind games, what will you do? Will he fail?

Cody Covington - If he plays mind games, he may get me upset. But wouldn't get me off my game, I mean ... this is ANYTHING goes!! So now I'm allowed to explode and throw EVERYTHING at the guy. He can play all the mind games he wants out there tonight, but it will not affect my game one bit....

Zed - Back to ringside!

The Informer - For months now, C4, Crystal Clear Cody Covington and Divine have had their differences. And now... tonight at Global Threat 2000, from the country that originated the Death Match, we have one to bring a conclusion to this feud.

Vic Canon - That's right... Ladies and Gentlemen, this match was sobrutal when it was devised, the EWA has been forced to make some changes. First, as stated, the ring will be surrounded with barbed wire, which can be turned on or off by the generator at ring side. Second, a scorpion tank will be at ringside, and for the safety of these two superstars, the poison has been removed.... At least we pray. Underneath the ring are numerous objects to be used as weapons including but not limited to tables, bottles, bats, canes, chairs, and spools of barbed wire. Two boards of C4 have been placed into the ring as well. Finally, last but not least, Barbed Wire Bump crates, which are wooden crates filled with Barbed wire. Let's keep in mind too that despite the changes forced to happen to this match, it IS NOT SANCTIONED BY THE EWA.

Eddie Sensation - But as we could tell from Cody Covington last week, talk is cheap, and now it's time for action... Let's go to the ring.

[Ding, Ding, Ding]

Chris Myers - The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is an EWA non sanctioned death match!

[The Japanese crowd buzzes as "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred plays]

Chris Myers - Coming down the aisle, standing 6'8" and weighing in at 325 pounds, part of the Fu Man Crew, Divine!

[Divine makes his way towards the ring to a mix of cheers and boos from the Japanese crowd]

Vic Canon - WAIT A MINUTE!! Behind Divine, it's Cody Covington!!! C4 Just hammered Divine in the back of the head with a chair! C4 is like a wild animal!! He's not even waiting for this match to officially begin!!

The Informer - This match IS NOT official, so he has nothing to wait for!!

Eddie Sensation - He said he would do anything and everything to Divine and I really think Cody is going to live up to his word tonight, Divine is in deep shit!!

Vic Canon - Covington drags Divine into the ring and he's slamming his head into the turnbuckle post! Divine may as well be out before the match even starts! Covington is stark raving mad!

The Informer - Covington whips Divine into the barbed wire and Divine goes limp! Covington runs towards Divine and leaps into him but Divine moves! OH MY GOD LISTEN TO THE SCREAMS FROM CODY AS THE BARBED WIRE CUTS THROUGH HIS SKIN!

Eddie Sensation - Oh my God! Divine is now gaining back some lost energy as Cody is trying to untangle himself from the mess of barbed wire. Divine goes outside and under the ring, he's searching and he found a cane!

Vic Canon - Covington now comes free and is on the outside apron. OOOOOOOH! Divine nails Covington with the cane and Cody falls right back into the wire! We have to only be about five minutes into this match and already each star is weak.

The Informer - Both of these men are already a bloody mess and like you said before Vic, we're only about five or six minutes into this war!!

Vic Canon - Divine pulls Cody out and bodyslams him on the outside of the ring, and check out that look on Divine's face!! He doesn't even care what happens to Cody Covington or himself!!

The Informer - Neither of these men do!! Neither man has any regard for safety, and that is what could lead to a very horrible disaster!!

Eddie Sensation - Divine's normal look of lust has for once turned into a look of pure hate! He whips C4 towards the barbed wire bump crate but Covington stops short and turns around, here comes Divine running, and C4 drop toe holds him right onto the side of the crate! Wow!

Vic Canon - Now C4 is going under the ring, he's got a strand of barbed wire! Cody has a wild look on his blood splattered face, what's he got in mind!? GOOD GOD!

The Informer - He's choking out Divine with the barbed wire! Divine's trying to scream but he can't! JESUS!! Someone stop this!! Divine's throat could be slit!! We could have a death in this damn ring!!

Eddie Sensation - YES!! There's the Divine we know! He's going for the sweets!! Low blow!

Vic Canon - A low blow may have saved Divine's life! Divine wraps thebarbed wire around his fist and punches Cody in the balls! Cody goes down hard! Divine in control takes it back into the ring.

The Informer - Divine now suplexes C4 in the middle of the ring and he's gonna feel him up! Typical Divine!

Vic Canon - This is where Divine disgusts me!! He's a decent athlete with tons of potential and charisma, but he just has to play games with everyone's minds! He just has to do the most vile, disgusting, crude behavior, and crap like this doesn't win matches!

Eddie Sensation - Yeah, but Cody doesn't even know where he is, but if I did I bet he wouldn't let that queer bear give him a Japanese back rub like that!!

The Informer - Whoa! Divine isn't playing around now! Divine is hammering away! Cody holds his fists up to block and he flips Divine off of him. Covington applies a single leg crab on Divine and is pulling away! He's gonna tear out Divine's knee!

Vic Canon - Divine's not giving up and neither is Cody!! He's not gonna release that hold until he hears Divine's knee cap pop!! And the referee is interjecting himself here...

The Informer - OH!! Cody just knocked the ref on his ass!! What the hell?!?

Eddie Sensation - He's crazy!! But he released the hold, and that's what the ref was trying to do....HIT HIM AGAIN CODY!!!

Vic Canon - Cody now goes under the ring and what has he found this time? A bottle! Cody has a bottle! He's measuring up Divine's skull as Divine somehow gets to his feet.

The Informer - GOOD GOD!! Did you see that glass shatter?!? Covington just whaled that bottle at Divine's head with total disregard!! Divine has shards of glass sticking out of his forehead...my God that's horrible....I'm going to be sick....

Eddie Sensation - YES!! THIS KICKS ASS!!!

[Just as Eddie says that Cody nails Divine in the face with a right hand that sends a squirt of blood through the air on Eddie Sensation's coat.]

Eddie Sensation - OOOH FUCK!!! NASTY!!

Vic Canon - Umm Eddie...you might wanna clean that off quick...that's Divine's blood...and....

Eddie Sensation - HIV!!!! HIV!!!!

[Eddie jumps from the announce position and flees to the back as he rips off his coat.]

Vic Canon - Well fans, Eddie Sensation is now gone in fear of Aids, but Cody and Divine are still going at it!!

The Informer - This match is going too far! C4 is still assaulting Divine with the bottle. Cody Covington is a sick man...he's jabbing Divine with that broken bottle, cutting him all over his homosexual body...Divine slumps down and here comes a cover! 1..2..NO!!! Divine gets the should up!!

The Informer - Somehow Divine kicks out! Cody is pissed and he's setting up Divine now..... SLINGSHOT! C4 SLINGSHOTS DIVINE INTO THE BARBED WIRE! NOW DIVINE IS TANGLED UP!

Vic Canon - Now C4 has Divine right where he wants him, stuck in the barbed wire. Now Cody goes to the outside to the generator, he's going to execute Divine! Cody is pulling on the cord to start the generator, but it's not starting! I'm sorry fans, but I really want Cody to electrocute the shit out of that fagget!!! SHOCK HIS BALLS CODY!!! SHOCK HIS BALLS!!!

The Informer - Calm down Vic, I've actually been molested by the asshole before...SHOCK HIM CODY!!!

Vic Canon - Divine coming to life now, and he's slowly making his way out of the wire.... But Cody is relentlessly pulling on the cord! OH MY GOD IT'S STARTING! DIVINE CAN HEAR IT AND ALL HE CAN DO IS HOPE HE LIVES! The generator is kicking to life! Wait! Wait! False alarm! The generator dies! Divine breathes a sigh of relief and Cody is cursing out the generator!

The Informer - Cody is kicking the generator as Divine has made his way out of the wire. Divine now to the outside and he grabs Cody! Cody spins around and gets met with a DDT!

Vic Canon - Divine now kicks Cody in the gut repeatedly. He throws Cody into the side of the ring and back inside. Now Divine goes for a table under the ring and he has it! Divine sets it up and puts Cody on it! Divine is slowly making his way to the corner now and is up! Only problem is Divine is trying to steady himself on top!

The Informer - Cody is standing on the table, what's he doing??? HOLY SHIT! Cody just did a cross body to Divine on the top rope! He took out Divine's legs and is laying on the top turnbuckle as Divine plummets to the outside right through one of the crates! How vicious is this????

Vic Canon - Cody now falls out of the corner, but it's one of the corners the bomb is in! Cody just landed head first on the bomb and it exploded! C4 is dead! GOOD GOD! These fans are going nuts!

The Informer - Neither man is moving! Divine is a bloody mess, C4 is a heap on the mat, and no one is moving. Wait, wait! Somehow Cody is coming to his senses! He's crawling to the side of the ring and he's reaching for the barbed wire and he's pulling himself up with the wire as it pierces his skin but I don't think he cares! Divine is now coming to and he's pulling apart some barbed wire.

Vic Canon - Cody now to the outside somehow and Divine is back on his feet and has... barbed wire wrapped around his skull!? Divine headbutts Cody! Divine is now headbutting Cody repeatedly! Divine now has Cody down and is dragging him to the scorpion tank! Cody is lifeless as Divine picks up the tank and dumps it onto Cody! Cody instantly comes to life and he's right on his feet!

The Informer - Cody is now back to full senses, what a mistake by Divine! Cody kicks Divine in the guy and powerbombs him on the scorpions and the tank! The tank shatters and Divine is laying in scorpions, and is getting stung! My God I hope those scorpions are poison free!

The Informer - These fans are eating it up! They're loving the action! Cody picks up Divine and throws him back into the crate! Cody goes up top and senton bombs himself onto Divine in the crate! Both men go down hard and the crate shatters!

[Eddie Sensation runs back to the announce table with no shirt on.]

Eddie Sensation - What'd I miss??

Vic Canon - A lot...

Eddie Sensation - God damnit! That was my new jacket too!!

Vic Canon - Cody shakes the cobwebs and throws Divine back into the ring. Cody has his head down and he's gonna back body drop Divine back to the outside! Divine blocks it and piledrives Cody on the mat! Now rolling outside the ring, Divine has grabbed another roll of barbed wire! He's got it sitting in the middle of the ring and he has Cody back up and Divine delivers the hardest piledriver I have ever seen him give! Cody has barbed wire tangled in his hair now! Divine grabs the chair Cody assaulted him with earlier and is now hammering the barbed wire into his skull! Cody is down and out and Divine covers!

The Informer - 1....2....

Eddie Sensation - Shoulder up! Shoulder up! A bloody shoulder comes up!

The Informer - Divine now has a very sick and twisted look on his face, oh shit.... I've seen that look before!

Vic Canon - Divine is bringing Cody to his feet and Cody is barely able to stand! Divine is now...gettng...on...his knees! OH SHIT! HE'S GONNA SUCK CODY OFF!

Eddie Sensation - Cody just realized what the hell is going on and he kicked Divine right in the face! Divine was seconds away from pulling Cody's pants down! Cody now sets him up.

The Informer - Cody has him in the air! It looks like Clearly Crippling! YES! RIGHT ON THE BARBED WIRE! Cody looks like he's ready to kill Divine and I think he is!

Vic Canon - Cody drags the fag outside and slams him into the last standing crate. Cody now back in the ring has the last explosive board and he throws it on Divine! Cody now going to the top rope! Cody has his balance and leaps!

The Informer - Cody with a leaping elbow right into the crate! LOOK AND LISTEN TO THAT EXPLOSION! I can't see anything!

Eddie Sensation - [Cough] What the hell happened? Someone's moving!

Vic Canon - IT'S DIVINE! DIVINE HAS CODY AND HE'S DRAGGING HIM BY AN ARM INSIDE THE RING! COVER! 1......2.......3! Divine wins!

Chris Myers - And the winner of this match, Divine!

The Informer - Look at Cody's arm! It's burnt horribly! I don't think that arm will ever be the same.

Eddie Sensation - Looks like Divine had enough conscience to turn the board around as Cody flew into it and took his arm out with it, giving Divine the win... What a battle!

Rachel Stevens - Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here with "The Original Outlaw" Vinny D, who earlier tonight, got by Howell to advance to the finals of the tournament. Outlaw, you got through one tough match, but you're not finished. Now, you have Thorn in the finals, and he is quite an accomplished athlete. Do you have any thoughts on this match that you'd like to share with us??

"The Original Outlaw" Vinny D - I ain't a stranger to fighting more than one match in a night, so this ain't anything new........ Thorn, whatever you have done, don't matter anymore, tonight, you better be ready and give it 120% because I will give it everything I've got, I will take you to your limits. That my friend, ain't a threat, it's a promise!!

[The Original Outlaw walks away...]

Rachel Stevens - Well, I guess that's it for this interview then. Over to you, Zed...

Zed - Thorn, you've made it to the finals! Congratulations!!! BUT...you haven't won anything yet. This, is the FINAL match. Are you tired from your match earlier tonight? Or are you pumped?

Thorn - Tired? Ha. Zed, I'm just getting warmed up, that match earlier with War Cryme was just pulling the match outta the box, and when I got the three count... the match was lit. Simply put, I'm on fire.

Zed - Your opponent is "The Original Outlaw" Vinny D. What are your thoughts on this guy?

Thorn - This guy is supposed to be a big fish here in the EWA. One of the greats of the EWA. Shit, I've been here over a year and a half, and I don't know dick about this guy. "The Original Outlaw" sounds like a western movie or some shit. I hope his entrance music isn't fucking country. Bottom line Zeddy, "The Original Outlaw" can bring his six shooter, his spurs, his cowboy hat, his 20 pound belt buckle, his fucking black stallion, BUT HE WILL NOT STOP ME! "Outlaw" you can cut me with your spurs all you want, but when high noon strikes, the fucking whistling starts, sweat is pouring down our faces, staring into each others eyes waitin to see which one will draw first.... you can have your spurs... but in my holster, I've got the Crown of Thorns... prepare to get cut.

Zed - Back to you guys at ringside!!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is the World Tour Tournament Final Match!

["The Outlaw Torn" by Metallica blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'7" and weighing in at 287 pounds, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, "The Original Outlaw" Vinny D!

["The Original Outlaw" Vinny D steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

["The Big Fuck You" by Primer 55 blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'1" and weighing in at 201 pounds, from Sacramento, California, Thorn!

[Thorn steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - 16 of the toughest men in the EWA entered this tournament, and now we are down to 2. Either The Original Outlaw or Thorn will walk out with the crown. I can only hope that it will be a fair fight.

Vic Canon - I couldn't have said it better myself.

The Informer - Both men lock up, and are jockeying for position. Quick arm drag by Thorn. He locks up the arm, and really grinds on it.

Vic Canon - Both men are exchanging mat holds, it looks like both men are just feeling each other out here. This is possibly the biggest match in either of their careers, and neither of them want to make the first mistake.

The Informer - Thorn backs Vinny D into the ropes, and whips him across, he throws a clothesline, but Vinny D sneaks under, and jumps on his back... crucifix! 1.... 2... kickout! This one was almost over early!

Vic Canon - Both men pop back up to their feet, and OOOOH! The Original Outlaw just slapped Thorn. Thorn slaps him back, and they're throwing rights and lefts! Thorn lands 3 solid rights, the last one knocking Vinny D over the top rope, and onto the floor!

The Informer - Lookout, Thorn is climbing up top, what's he going to do here? CROSS BODY BLOCK ONTO THE FLOOR! That brought this crowd to it's feet, WHAT A MOVE!

Vic Canon - Thorn pops right back up, and climbs onto the apron. He runs across, and lands a HUGE elbowdrop onto The Original Outlaw! Thorn is pulling out ALL the stops early in this match!

Eddie Sensation - Thorn has this match in control!

The Informer - Thorn throws Vinny D back into the ring, and climbs up top! OH NO! Vinny D popped back up on his feet, and knocked Thorn's legs out from under him, making him straddle the turnbuckle! He climbs up onto the top rope... what's he going to do here? SUPERPLEX!!!! Vinny D rolls over onto Thorn! 1... 2..... kickout!

Vic Canon - Both men have had a TON of energy taken out of them! I can't believe they have gone for so many high impact moves so early in this match!

The Informer - It's not just a normal match here though Vic, this is the finals of the World Tour Tournament, all the stops must be pulled out!

Vic Canon - Vinny D picks Thorn back up to his feet, and lands a few hard rights. He throws him to the ropes, and lands a hard back elbow to the face, knocking Thorn to the mat!

The Informer - The Original Outlaw is really wearing him down, he's taken full control of this match! He picks up Thorn, and throws him over the top rope, and onto the floor.

Vic Canon - Vinny D scurries out to the floor, and picks up a steel chair! Thorn doesn't see him, and he SLAMS the chair down onto Thorn's back! Thorn winces in pain, but gets leveled in the face as he turns around!

Eddie Sensation - Thorn is busted open!

The Informer - Vinny D drops the chair, and grabs Thorn by the hair! OH NO! He just threw him headfirst into the stairs, completely dislodging the stairs from the ringpost! Did you see the impact on that one?

Vic Canon - OH MAN! Look at all that blood pouring out of Thorn's head, he's dripping crimson!

The Informer - What is The Original Outlaw doing here? He just threw Thorn back into the ring, and is picking up the ringsteps! He just tossed the steps over the top rope! He climbs in the ring, and lays the steps down flat in the middle.

Eddie Sensation - Lookout, here comes metal!

Vic Canon - He picks Thorn back up, and whips him to the ropes, but NO! Thorn reverses it, Vinny D pops back off..... DROP TOE HOLD ONTO THE STEPS! What a reversal by Thorn!!! Vinny D is busted open now, the ring is a bloody mess!

The Informer - What a brutal match! Both men are down, but Thorn is slowly getting back up. He grabs The Original Outlaw by the hair, and slams him headfirst into the steps, again and again, the crowd is chanting with him! 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10!

Eddie Sensation - This is crazy!

Vic Canon - I have NEVER seen anything like this! Thorn is climbing up the steps, what is he going to do?

The Informer - He puts Vinny D between his legs, and locks up his arms.... PEDIGREE ONTO THE STEPS!!! The cover! 1... 2... NO!!! I can't believe he kicked out!!!

Vic Canon - Neither can I, that was vicious! Thorn can't believe it either, as he picks Vince back up on his feet. He's dragging him back up onto the stairs, it looks like he's going for it again. NO! He lifts him all the way up.... AND PILEDRIVES HIM ONTO THE STEPS! IT'S OVER! The cover! 1... 2... KICKOUT BY VINNY D!

Eddie Sensation - NO WAY!

The Informer - Unbelievable! Thorn has thrown EVERYTHING at Vinny D, but he keeps coming back! Thorn picks Vinny D back up, and lifts him up, sitting him backwards onto the top turnbuckle! He climbs up after him, he's goingc for a back suplex onto the stairs!

Vic Canon - This will DEFINITELY end it. NO! VINCE TURNED IT INTO A CROSS BODY BLOCK, SMASHING THORN'S BACK AGAINST THE STEPS!!! I can't believe that, Thorn's back hit with edge fo the steps with INCREDIBLE force!

The Informer - Vinny D rolls over onto Thorn! 1... 2... kickout! Thorn kicked out! This crowd is going crazy! I can't believe the action that we are seeing here! Vinny D is laying Thorn flat on top of the steps, and is going up top! FROGSPLASH! 1... 2.... NO!

Vic Canon - THORN WILL NOT QUIT! It's only a matter of time though, he has taken an incredible amount of punishment!

The Informer - So has Vinny though, both men are gushing with blood, battered, and bruised. Vinny D has Thorn by the legs, is he going for a Boston Crab? NO! Slingshot! Thorn's head hit the ringpost! He staggers out, and Vinny D catches him in a full nelson!

Vic Canon - Thorn is fading fast! Vinny D has it locked in tight. DRAGON SUPLEX! 1... 2... NO! Thorn somehow broke free! What a beating he's taking though! Vinny D is going to the outside now, HE HAS A TABLE!

Eddie Sensation - TABLE TABLE TABLE!!!!

The Informer - He sets it up in the ring, and grabs Thorn. He lifts him up... here comes a powerbomb! Thorn slides off his back, and gives him a low blow!!! He grabs hold of one of Vinny's hands through his legs.... MELTDOWN THROUGH THE TABLE! I've never seen that before! The cover! 1... 2... kickout!!!!

Vic Canon - This in outstanding action. Both men know what is at stake in this match, and they refuse to quit! Thorn is making the signal! He ties up Vinny's legs and goes up top... IT'S THE CROWN OF THORNS!!!! He loosens Vinny D, and draps an arm over him! 1.... 2..... NOOOOO!!!!!!! Vinny D gets his shoulder up!!!

The Informer - He kicked out of the Crown of Thorns! I don't think I've ever seen anyone do that!!! Thorn can't believe it!! What is he going to do now? He drags Vinny's lifeless body into the middle of the ring, what now?

Vic Canon - He climbs up top, and raises his arms high over his head, listen to this crowd! OH NO! He went for a splash, but Vinny D got his knees up, Thorn is rolling around on the mat in INTENSE pain!

The Informer - That might be the opening Vinny D needed, he is getting back up to his feet, but so is Thorn. Vinny D catches him.... IT'S BARELY LEGAL!!! The cover!!! 1.... 2.... NO!!!! Thorn got out, Thorn got out!!!

Eddie Sensation - BULLSHIT!

Vic Canon - Both men have kicked out of each other's respective finishers, we have seen EVERYTHING IN THIS MATCH, WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE LEFT?!?!

The Informer - Vinny D lifts Thorn back up on his feet, and whips him into the ropes.... FRANKENSTEINER!!! 1.... 2.... kickout!!

Vic Canon - Wait a minute... look guys, here comes Arthryn! Along with his North American Title, which he retained tonight!

Eddie Sensation - Arthryn and Vinny D had a little scuffle earlier... this should be interesting...

The Informer - Back to the match!

Vic Canon - Right... Both men are pulling moves out that I've never seen EITHER of them use before! Vinny D whips him to the ropes... ANOTHER FRANKENSTEINER!

Eddie Sensation - NO!!!! ARTHRYN GOT UP ON THE APRON, AND NAILED VINCE IN THE HEAD WITH THE NORTH AMERICAN TITLE, WHILE VINNY D WAS ON THORN'S SHOULDERS!!!

The Informer - And Thorn then dropped Vinny D into a powerbomb! "The Original Outlaw" could have had to match won right there! When he realized what Arthryn just did, he wont be too happy!!

Vic Canon - Arthryn is leaving the ring now... he's done his damage!

Eddie Sensation - Good, I want to see a clean end to this! No god damn dusty finishes!

The Informer - Thorn grabs Vinny D, he lifts him up again, and gives him another powerbomb!!!! He is STILL holding on! He lifts him ALL the way back up... OH MY GOD! SPINNING SITDOWN POWERBOMB!!!

Vic Canon - This crowd is applauding wildly, they've never seen such a gutsy display! Thorn is dragging himself back up! He's making the throat cutting motion! He goes outside and grabs a steel chair!

Eddie Sensation - What is he doing????

The Informer - He lays the chair flat in the ring, and picks up Vinny D, look at all this blood!!!

Vic Canon - He puts Vinny's head between his legs, and locks up both arms, and lifts him up, he's holding him there!! THERE'S NO WAY HE'S DOING THIS!

The Informer - TIGER DRIVER 91'!!!!!!

Vic Canon - TIGER DRIVER 91'!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - TIGER DRIVER 91'!!!!!!!

The Informer - THE DEADLIEST MOVE IN ALL OF WRESTLING, RIGHT ONTO A STEEL CHAIR!!! He rolls The Original Outlaw over, and covers! 1.... 2... 3!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - IT'S OVER!!!!

Chris Myers - Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match, and WINNER of the World Tour Tournament.... THORN!!!!!!

[Both men are flat on their backs, not moving. Finally, Thorn makes it back to his feet, and raises his arms to an enormous ovation. A loud "Thorn" chant starts to break out.]

The Informer - That might have been the best match that I have ever witnessed. It was back and forth, great wrestling, great action, brutal and bloody, the whole package. Vinny D should be congratulated on his effort, but this night belongs to Thorn!

Vic Canon - I don't know what to see, that was incredible. Both men gave it their all, but Thorn was the better man tonight. Simple as that.

Eddie Sensation - Wait a minute guys.... here comes Team Ballz!

The Informer - WHAT?! Oh great... Here comes Serial Thrylla and Chandler! It looks like they have some kind of T-Shirt in their hands!

Vic Canon - Vinny D is out on the outside, while Thorn is sitting in the ring! Team Ballz has entered the ring....

Eddie Sensation - Wait! They just handed Thorn a Team Ballz shirt!

The Informer - NO! PLEASE THORN, DONT TAKE IT!

Vic Canon - Serial Thrylla and Chandler are both waiting for Thorn's response! Thorn is unfolding the shirt, and looking at it....

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!!! THORN JUST SPIT ON THE SHIRT!!!!

The Informer - Look at Thrylla and Chandler! They're pissed! OOH!!! CHANDLER JUST NAILED THORN WITH A CLOTHESLINE!!!

Vic Canon - And Serial Thrylla is right there, stomping away at Thorn! Serial Thrylla picks him up to his feet, and NAILS Thorn with a Standing Cresent Kick!

Eddie Sensation - Thorn stumbles back, right into the waiting arms of Chandler! -HIROSHIMA-!!!! CHANDLER HAS HIROSHIMA LOCKED ON!!!!

The Informer - Thorn is out! He took a beating from that match... he had barly any energy left in him! And Team Ballz just put the nail in the coffin! Thorn is out cold! Get some help out here for him!

Vic Canon - That's just like Team Ballz to do something like that... they get rejected, and they snap! HA! How does it feel to get rejected on national TV boys?!?!?!

Eddie Sensation - Hahaha!!

The Informer - Well, paramedics are working on Thorn and Vinny D.... lets send it backstage!

[Backstage, the doctor is examining Divine. Divine is completely naked, but the camera only shows his upper body. The doctor is feeling him in many places, checking for injuries. And although Divine is in serious pain, he's enjoying every second of the doctor touching him! Suddenly, the doctor speaks...]

Doctor - I'm sorry Divine... you're too badly injured! There's NO WAY I can let you go out there and fight another match!

[The look on Divine's face instantly turns from a huge smile, to fury. The scene fades to black....]

Rachel Stevens - ...NO Tom, I am NOT going to interview these men. I will not do it. NO! Here, do it yourself.

Tom Stone - [From off-camera] Stevens! Fine then! Get your ass to the next interview. Hell no, I'm not touching these assholes with a ten foot pole. Fuck it. Chandler, Serial Thrylla, you two assholes, just cut a fuckign promo. I'm out of here.

[Serial Thrylla and Chandler walk out of their locker room, and find an empty interviewing area, save for a camera and lighting. Both men look at each other, chuckle, and suddenly Chandler darts behind the camera...]

Chandler - YOU FIRST! I'm gonna drop some Speilberg quality shit on all these Japanese motherfuckers. Aight, action.

[Serial Thrylla jumps in front of the camera and begins to cut a rather dark, almost gothic promo]

Serial Thrylla - Ha, finally, FINALLY, the time is here. Tonight is the time where we begin what we started two weeks ago. Shit, tonight is the time when we end this shit ONCE AND FOR ALL. TONIGHT, god DAMMIT tonight, is where we KILL THIS COMEDY BULLSHIT. The "Fu Man Crew" will die by my hands tonight so help me god. SO MOTHERFUCKING HELP ME GOD, CHRIS JERICHO GETS HIS ASS SLAIN TONIGHT, IN TOKYO.

[Chandler shakes the camera up and down, in an "agreeing" notion]

Serial Thrylla - Hey man, quit that shit. I'm fucking serious. Because this is a motherfucking GLOBAL THREAT. A threat to all mankind. A threat to your mothers, your sisters, you dogs, your motherfucking kids. NO ONE IS SAFE. All of you bitches will be purged...in due time...hahahaha...in due time...

[Serial Thrylla walks off the screen as Chandler's head pops up in front of the camera from underneath its feild of view.]

Chandler - Boo. You konw you were scared.

[Serial Thrylla shakes the camera from side to side, in a "not really" notion]

Chandler - Hey man, shut the fuck up! I'm cuttin a damn promo here. Serial Thrylla might have laid that shit out a few minutes ago, but there is nothing, NOTHING you sons of bitches, that you can do to stop this Onslaught. Tonight we correct the one mistake we have made along the way, and that's that goddamn tin.

Chandler - Because you see, we didn't plan on these bullshit "Fu Man Crew" sons of bitches. God damn that motherfucking Tom Stone and his "heros". Heros eh? You expect these comedic bullshit actors to save this goddamn company Tom? Do you really expect them to be able to protect you and your fortune from what me and Serial Thrylla are going to do to you? I think not...and I think you know it.

Serial Thrylla - [Off camera] Cut.

Zed - With me now is none other than Chris Jericho! Chris, things aren't looking too good. Divine is severely injured, and cannot be in this match. That leaves it down to you, against Team Ballz...by yourself. How do you plan on getting out of this situation?

Chris Jericho - PEZ....It's seems as though I have a BIG problem. Chandelier and Cereal Vanilla don't realize taht I have something up my sleeve. The Fu Man Crew will be in the EWA IN A MAJOR WAY for a long time to come. I can take those 2 fossils with one tied behind my back. I AM THE ONLY EWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! All these NOBODIES coming around here saying "Chris Jericho sucks because he hasn't been with the company for 20 years....He hasn't payed his dues...He's not really that funny" I laugh at those people.....Greatness comes to few and far between....but Jealousy runs rampant thorugh everyone's vains. All the NON Jerichohoics it's time to get a dose of what the REAL CHRIS JERICHO is all about....the FALMBOYANCE AND ARROGANCE OF NICK DIAMANTE.....THE YOUTH AND AGILITY OF A HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL PLAYER......THE RING SAVY OF SERIAL THRYLLA......THE POWER OF THE IMMORTAL HULK HOGAN.....ALL ROLLED INTO ONE.....I AM THE BIGGEST REASON WHY THE EWA WILL NEVER E-E-E-EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!!! THE FU MAN CREW....Will make sure of that!

Zed - Let me remind you that we're in Chandler's house now. Tokyo Japan is the reason Chandler is such a great wrestler today. Chris, it seems as though you won't be getting the fan support you always get. You'll be fighting two guys at once by yourself, the odds are completely stacked against you. Despite all of this, do you think you will come out of this Pay Per View as the Champion?

Chris Jericho - Are the odds ever stacked in my favor Pez? NO! I think for once though I have a card in my hand that Team NO BALLZ won't have....THE TIM SPERM FACTOR! I have both the Fu Man Crew and Tim Sperm...So I'm not worried about odds....I've been put in handicap matches and been forced to fight 5 TIMES IN ONE NIGHT FOR MY BELT! So DON'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT ODDS JERKY! I will walk out of this FISH INFESTED, SQUINTED EYED POPULATED CITY AS THE EWA'S F'N HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! Weteher you like it or not....it's time for....TOKYO IS JERICHO!

Zed - Back to ringside!!

The Informer - Well fans, here we are. After 5 weeks of matches, attacks and interviews, we're finally here. It's Global Threat 2000, and we're live from Tokyo, Japan, Chandler's home from home. Chris Jericho will be going into this match as World Champion, and that's about the ONLY advantage he has! A few minutes ago, it was announced that Divine was too badly injured to compete in this match, thus making it a 3 Way Dance, with Chris Jericho in there with both members of Team Ballz.

Vic Canon - You might as well call it a Handicap Match, because that's what it's going to be! I can almost guarantee that Serial Thrylla and Chandler WILL work as a team, and take out Jericho first! As for jealousy, and tention between Team Ballz.... there is none. These two have both been the EWA World Champion before, and that "peice of tin", as they would call it, is not enough to draw them apart! They WILL be concentrated, and they WILL work as a team! This only makes matters worse for the current World Champion, Chris Jericho!

Eddie Sensation - And lets not forget what these two bastards did last week! They beat the hell out of you, me, and ALL the EWA Staff members! They even went as far as to take out Rachel Stevens, and that wuss Rob DiMarco! I mean, ROB DIMARCO?! WHAT THE HELL CAN HE DO?!?!

The Informer - Eddie, these guys are ruthless... they will stop for nobody! They dont give a shit! And Tom Stone realized that last week on Heat, which is why he came out and burned their contracts! Folks, tonight is the LAST TIME we're going to see Team Ballz in an EWA ring! They have been TERMINATED, FOREVER, from the EWA!

Vic Canon - It's about fucking time! Excuse my french, but these sons of bitches have no hearts! I'm still recovering from my damn concussion, and my ribs are still bruised! I cant even laugh, or BREATHE without either of them hurting!

Eddie Sensation - You too?!?! God damn! I'm in more pain then I was while it happened! I mean, once they hit me, I was out cold! I felt no pain!

The Informer - Chandler and Serial Thrylla have no hearts. They dont give a shit about anyone. And tonight, they get a Handicap Match with Chris Jericho, god dammit. Sorry Chris, but I doubt you're walking out here tonight with that title... and that worries me, because Team Ballz will be in another federation after tonight, WITH the EWA World Title! Can you say Diamante and the NHBWF?

Vic Canon - Wow, I didnt even think of that... that just makes it even worse! I hope Stone realized that, and I HOPE Stone comes out here and helps out Jericho.... or at least someone does!

Eddie Sensation - Alright, enough talking... I want to see some wrestling! Lets send it to Chris Myers!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Three-Way EWA Heavyweight Title Match! The winner will be the LAST MAN STANDING, therefore making elimination rules apply!

["Walls Of Jericho" blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 5'11" and weighing in at 230 pounds, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, the EWA Heavyweight Champion, "The Franchise" Chris Jericho!

[The EWA Heavyweight Champion, "The Franchise" Chris Jericho steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - There he is... the man that's going to have to do the impossible tonight! He must overcome Serial Thrylla and Chandler BY HIMSELF!

Vic Canon - I think he knows the Informer, and that might very well be the reason why he's got that look on his face! Jericho looks focused!

Eddie Sensation - This is the same look he had on his face at Break Down, which is when he took on 5 opponents in one night, and retained his title!

The Informer - Well, Chandler and Serial Thrylla have the joined talent to equal 8 men... This may be a little bit TOO MUCH to ask for from Chris Jericho.

["Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against The Machine blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - And his opponents... standing 6', and 6'2... weighing in at 240, and 237pounds... from Shreveport, Louisiana, and Syracuse, New York... together, they are Team Ballz! The cocksuckers that put me in the hospital! I give you, Serial Thrylla... AND... Chandler!

[Chandler and Serial Thrylla step out from behind the curtain. As they step out from behind the curtain, perfectly timed, the following logo appears on the EWA Big Screen...]

Vic Canon - These fucking assholes MAKE ME SICK. I can honestly wish them a horrible death, and not regret saying it... Fucking assholes, beating up innoncent people who are just trying to do their jobs......

Eddie Sensation - Calm down Vic, no need to spaz out! We still have the entire match to go through!

The Informer - Serial Thrylla and Chandler are walking around ringside.. and Jericho is trying to watch them both, but the two are on opposite sides of the ring!

Vic Canon - Oh great... here comes that sick fucker now... I'm going to give him a peice of my mind!

Eddie Sensation - NO VIC, DONT!

[Chandler walks infront of the announce table, but is still facing the ring...]

Vic Canon - HEY.... YOU CAJUN FUCK!

[Chandler looks over his shoulder only for a second, amazed that some crazy Japanese fan just yelled out something in english!]

Vic Canon - YOU MAKE ME SICK, I HOPE YOU DIE!

[Chandler looks back over, and stares at Vic Canon. He then walks closer, and closer to the table. While this is happening, Chris Jericho runs towards the corner, jumps to the top rope, and stands on the top rope!]

Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT!!!!!!

The Informer - OOH!!! OH NO!!!! Wait a minute... I HAVE NO SYMPATHY FOR THESE FUCKERS!! CHRIS JERICHO JUST MISSLE DROPKICKED CHANDLER FROM THE TOP ROPE, AND NOW CHANDLER IS IN OUR LAPS!

Vic Canon - GUYS, FUCK HIM! ON THREE, WE DUMP HIM ON THE FLOOR! READY? ONE.... TWO......

Eddie Sensation - HEAVE!!

[Chandlers body rolls over the table, and lands on the concrete floor with a thud! The Informer, Vic Canon and Eddie Sensation trade high fives!]

The Informer - And now Chris Jericho is getting back in the ring! But so is Serial Thrylla! They both roll in, and get up! Jericho charges.... SPINNING HEEL KICK! Thrylla goes down! But gets right back up! He charges at Jericho with a clothesline, but Jericho ducks!

Vic Canon - Jericho has him hooked! LOOK OUT!! OOH!!! BELLY-TO-BACK SUPLEX! GREAT MOVE BY CHRIS JERICHO! And now Serial Thrylla is rolling out onto the outside!

Eddie Sensation - Haha! I love it! Jericho has been in control for the entire match so far! And Vic, it's all because of you! You and your damn big mouth!

The Informer - Serial Thrylla is walking over towards us... to find his partner on the floor! Thrylla helps out Chandler, and whispers something to him! Oh no... they've got a plan now... and their plans ALWAYS work... just look at Tuesday Night Ballz!

Vic Canon - Yeah... they took over the show... and beat up innocent people, while the entire EWA roster was locked in a room. Tough guys? HA!

Eddie Sensation - Hahaha!! Vic is an american bad ass! I've never seen him like this before!

The Informer - And now Serial Thrylla and Chandler have split up! Each man is going to opposite sides of the ring, and they're now climbing onto the apron!

Vic Canon - Serial Thrylla is on the apron, and Chandler has one knee up! LOOK OUT! JERICHO CHARGES AT THRYLLA..... WHAM!!! THRYLLA GOES CRASHING INTO THE GUARD RAIL!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT! CHANDLER'S IN! Chandler charges at Jericho.... SPEAR! JERICHO DIDNT SEE IT COMING!

The Informer - And now Chandler is throwing lefts and rights to the face of Jericho! Wait a minute, Jericho reverses it! Now Jericho is on Chandler, punching his face in! But Serial Thrylla is up! He slides into the ring, and nails Jericho with a drop kick to the face! Jericho goes falling onto his back!

Vic Canon - Jericho could have a broken nose! And now Thrylla is repeadidly stomping at Jericho! Chandler is up, and he's stomping away at him as well! Oh man! I dont think they're going to stop kicking him until he bleeds!!!

Eddie Sensation - Damn! They're STILL stomping away! And now these japanese people are stomping their feet on the ground, at the same time Chandler and Thrylla are! Everyone of those kicks is getting louder and louder!

The Informer - These damn japanese fans dont know anything! They're cheering for Team Ballz, yet they probably never end up hearing what they say in their promos! I mean, they dont understand english! And I KNOW, FOR FACT, that Tuesday Night Heat DOES NOT get played in japanese!

Vic Canon - Ha! Easy there Informer! I dont want to hear your racial slurs! Thrylla and Chandler have finally stopped their kicking episode, and now have Chris Jericho on his feet! Thrylla throws him to the ropes, Jericho bounces off, Thrylla catches him into a spinebuster!

Eddie Sensation - NO! THRYLLA FALLS BACKWARDS, AND CHANDLER GRABS JERICHO INTO A FRONT FACE DDT ON HIS WAY DOWN!! WHAT A MOVE!!

[For all you whom are illiterate, that was a "3D"...]

The Informer - Jericho is down, without any signs of moving! Now Serial Thrylla is dragging Chris Jericho towards the corner! What's he going to do?! Thrylla jumps! OOOH!!!!! OH MAN!!! WHAT A MOVE!

Vic Canon - SPLIT LEGGED MOONSAULT BY SERIAL THRYLLA, RIGHT ON THE MONEY! JERICHO GOT NAILED WITH THAT ONE!

Eddie Sensation - But Serial Thrylla isnt going for the cover! And neither is Chandler! I think they just want to have a little fun with Jericho!

The Informer - That's sick Eddie! I wish it wasn't true, but you're probably right! These two are sick, SICK men! And now Chandler is lifting Chris Jericho to his feet! Serial Thrylla is on the opposite side of the ring.... Chandler whips Jericho towards Thrylla!

Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!!!! OOOOH!!!!! SPINEBUSTER!!!!!! THRYLLA PLANTED JERICHO IN THE MAT WITH THAT ONE!!!

Eddie Sensation - And now look at them! They're laughing!

The Informer - And now Chandler is moving in on Jericho.... FUGIWARA ARMBAR!! Chandler has it locked on! And Jericho is screaming in pain! Chandler is yelling and screaming at him, asking him if he gives up! But Jericho is telling him where to go!

Vic Canon - Good man Jericho! GOOD MAN! Oh no... Serial Thrylla is climbing to the top rope! What the hell is he going to do?! Jericho is in that armbar! He can't move anywhere!

Eddie Sensation - Thrylla balances himself, and jumps! OOH!!! BIG ELBOW, FROM THE TOP ROPE!

The Informer - Chandler lets go of the armbar! This doesnt look too good for Chris Jericho! He's in a bad, bad situation!

Vic Canon - Chandler is signalling to the fans for something! Wait a minute! I think he's signalling for THE BIG TIMER!

Eddie Sensation - These fans here in Japan are going crazy! They know what's next, and they want to see it!

The Informer - Chandler lifts Jericho to his feet! Thrylla kicks Jericho in the gut... Chandler sets him up....... WHAM!!!! BIG TIMER!!!! BIG TIMER!!!! HE NAILED IT!!!!

Vic Canon - WAIT A MINUTE, LOOK OVER THERE!

[Suddenly, Tom Stone emerges from behind the curtain...]

Eddie Sensation - YES!!!! ITS STONE!!!!

Tom Stone - AHEM....

The Informer - What the hell is Stone doing out here?!

Tom Stone - And now.... DIVINE'S REPLACEMENT...........

Vic Canon - WHAT?!?!?! DIVINE'S REPLACEMENT?!?!?! WE'RE BACK TO 4 MEN?!?!?!

[Tom Stone moves away from the curtain, leaving the replacement man all the space he needs!]

Eddie Sensation - WAIT A MINUTE.... LOOK!!!! WAR CRYME JUST JUMPED OUT FROM THE CROWD!!!! WAR CRYME IS IN THE RING, AND TEAM BALLZ DOESN'T EVEN KNOW IT!!!!!

The Informer - LOOK OUT!!!! WAR CRYME CLOTHESLINES SERIAL THRYLLA OVER THE TOP ROPE, FROM BEHIND! CHANDLER TURNS AROUND.... WAR CRYME ROLLS HIM UP!!!! 1....... 2........ NO!!!! OH MY GOD!!! THAT WAS AT CLOSE AS IT GETS FOLKS!!!

Vic Canon - WaR CrYmE is up, and so is Chandler! WaR CrYmE kicks Chandler in the gut........ WHAM!!!!! GENOCIDAL TENDENCIES!!!! GENOCIDAL TENDENCIES!!!! WAR CRYME NAILED HIS BIG MOVE!!! CHANDLER COULD BE ELIMINATED!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - HE GOES FOR THE COVER....... 1........... 2.......... NO!!!!!!! SERIAL THRYLLA BREAKS UP THE PIN!

The Informer - OH MY GOD, I think my heart skipped a beat! That was intense! Serial Thrylla grabs WaR CrYmE.... OH!!!!! TILT-A-WHIRL SUPLEX!!!!! But WaR CrYmE gets right back up! This time he walks right into Chandler, who scoops him up.......

Vic Canon - WHAM!!!!! FISHBONE DYNAMITE DRIVER!!! CHANDLER PLANTED WAR CRYME INTO THE MAT!!!! And WaR CrYmE isn't moving, anytime soon!

Eddie Sensation - Wait a minute.... Serial Thrylla is pointing to the top rope.... Does this mean what I think it means?!

The Informer - I beleive so Eddie.... DFA is on it's way! Thrylla picks up WaR CrYmE, and throws him to the corner! Thrylla follows in.... BIG SPLASH!! Thrylla picks up WaR CrYmE, and sits him on the top rope!

Vic Canon - Serial Thrylla climbs up..... WaR CrYmE, DO SOMETHING, FAST!

Eddie Sensation - WHAM!!!!!!!! DFA!!!!! DFA!!!!! WAR CRYME HAS JUST RECEIVED DEATH FROM ABOVE!!!!!!!!!

The Informer - That's it for him fans! Not many people get up from that! Thrylla goes for the cover.... the ref counts.... 1...... 2...... 3!

Chris Myers - WaR CrYmE has been eliminated!

Vic Canon - Great! We're back to 2 on 1, Handicap Match! And look at Jericho! He's just getting up from all that abuse now! He's on one knee, and trying to get back up!

Eddie Sensation - Thrylla and Chandler don't see him though! They're too busy kicking WaR CrYmE out of the ring! OH! WaR CrYmE lands on the outside with a thump! But Jericho is up! He charges at Thrylla!

The Informer - WHAM!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!! WHAT IMPACT!!!!!! SERIAL THRYLLA TURNED AROUND, AND INSTANTLY NAILED JERICHO WITH A STANDING CRESENT KICK!!!! JERICHO WENT FLYING ACROSS THE RING! THRYLLA MUST HAVE EYES BEHIND HIS HEAD! THAT WAS TOTALLY UNEXPECTED!!!!!

Vic Canon - And now Chandler is pointing to the top rope! What the hell could this mean?!

Eddie Sensation - I dont know! I've never seen Chandler do any HIGH impact moves off the top rope! I dont know why the hell he's pointing there.... another DFA maybe?!

The Informer - NO! YOU IDIOTS! HE'S CALLING FOR THE 1560 OMEGABOMB! AND THAT'S WHY THESE FANS ARE GOING CRAZY!!!! THAT MOVE WAS MADE HERE IN JAPAN!!!!

Vic Canon - Well soooooooooorry! Mr. history over here.... jesus christ! Chandler is climbing to the top rope! Serial Thrylla is backing away, just watching this! Chris Jericho isn't moving, and all 60 Thousand plus fans here in the Tokyo Dome are on their feet!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?!

The Informer - HOLY CHRIST! I FORGOT ABOUT THIS! WE'RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT WHO THE HELL THIS IS!

[The picture fades out. A count down begins...]

Vic Canon - WHO IS IT?!?!?! WHO THE HELL IS THIS AMERICAN HERO?!?!?!?!

Eddie Sensation - Chandler has got off the top rope! Him and Serial Thrylla are just staring at the entrance aisle!

[Suddenly, they step out from behind the curtain. The cheers from Pennsylvania can be heard, all the way in Japan!]

The Informer - ITS DA BJ BOYZ!!!!! DA BJ BOYZ!!!!! DA BJ BOYZ!!!!! THEY'RE BACK IN THE EWA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - OH MY GOD!!!!!!! DA BJ BOYZ HAVE RETURNED!!!!!!! THEY ARE ARGUABLY THE GREATEST TAG TEAM IN THE EWA!!! THEY COULD VERY WELL BE THE TWO WHO BRING TEAM BALLZ DOWN!!!!

[Adam and Brian Kress walk down the aisle. The Japanese crowd is stunned. It is almost silent. Da BJ Boyz walk towards the ring with a hockey stick in each of their hands, and a "Team Ballz" shirt on.]

Eddie Sensation - WAIT A MINUTE.... THOSE ARE TEAM BALLZ SHIRTS!!! AND HOCKEY STICKS?!?!?! ARE THEY IN TEAM BALLZ?!?!?!

The Informer - DA BJ BOYZ SLIDE INTO THE RING...... MY GOD FANS, THIS IS INTENSE! WHO'S SIDE ARE THEY ON??!?!?!

Vic Canon - Chris Jericho is on his feet.... he now see's FOUR Team Ballz members in the ring with him!

[Da BJ Boyz walk towards Chris Jericho. They raise their hockey sticks....]

The Informer - NO! PLEASE DONT TELL ME!!!!

[They swing! But, their swings are too high to hit Chris Jericho. They both soar high over Jericho's head. Da BJ Boyz then turn around.....]

Vic Canon - THEY MISSED!!!!! WHAM!!! OH MY GOD!!!! ADAM KRESS JUST BROKE THAT HOCKEY STICK OVER SERIAL THRYLLA'S HEAD!!!!!!!!! BRIAN KRESS CHARGES AT CHANDLER, AND CLOTHESLINES HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE WITH THAT HOCKEY STICK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - AND NOW DA BJ BOYZ ARE RIPPING OFF THEIR TEAM BALLZ SHIRTS, TO REVEAL FU MAN CREW SHIRTS!!!!! JERICHO IS UP, AND HE'S GOT A HUGE SMILE ON HIS FACE!!!!!!! DA BJ BOYZ ARE BACK IN THE EWA, AND THEY'RE HERE TO HELP PUT AN END TO TEAM BALLZ!

The Informer - But look! Chandler is looking under the ring for something! Oh no! He's got a hockey stick! Chandler walks over to the ring with the hockey stick in hand, and trips Adam Kress! Chandler grabs Adam by the leg, and pulls him to the outside!

Vic Canon - And now Brian Kress is heading to the outside! OH! BRIAN KRESS WITH A KNEE TO THE BACK OF CHANDLER!

Eddie Sensation - Wait a minute! Serial Thrylla is up! And he's got one of their hockey sticks! Thrylla walks over to Adam Kress..... WHAM!!! OH MAN!!! HE JUST NAILED HIM IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THAT HOCKEY STICK!

The Informer - BRIAN KRESS CHARGES AT SERIAL THRYLLA!! WHAM!!!!!!!!! OH MAN!!!!! THRYLLA JUST SWUNG THAT STICK RIGHT INTO THE GROIN OF BRIAN KRESS!!!! KRESS GOES DOWN!!!!

Vic Canon - DAMN! Thats some strong lumber! That stick hasn't broke yet! WAIT A MINUTE.... LOOK OUT!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - JERICHO JUMPS TO THE TOP ROPE.... BIG SPLASH TO THE OUTSIDE!!!!! NO!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!! SERIAL THRYLLA SWUNG AT JERICHO WHILE HE WAS IN MID AIR, AND BROKE THE HOCKEY STICK OVER THE TOP OF HIS HEAD!!!!! JERICHO JUST COLLAPSED TO THE GROUND!!

The Informer - MY GOD!!!! DA BJ BOYZ ARE DOWN, JERICHO IS DOWN.... AND THERE ARE MULTIPLE BROKEN HOCKEY STICKS AT RINGSIDE!!!!

Vic Canon - AND, here comes Tom Stone.... AGAIN!!!

[Stone quickly makes his way to the time keeper's table. He whispers something to Myers, and Myers grabs a mic!]

Chris Myers - Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been informer by Tom Stone, that Serial Thrylla has been DISQUALIFIED, and ELIMINATED!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT?!?!? OH MY GOD!!! YES!!!! YES!!!! YES YES YES!!!! JERICHO AGAINST CHANDLER, WE'RE DOWN TO TWO MEN!!!!!

The Informer - SERIAL THRYLLA IS GOING NUTS!!!!! HE'S RIGHT IN STONE'S FACE!!!! BUT FROM BEHIND, DA BJ BOYZ ATTACK THRYLLA!!!

Vic Canon - ADAM KRESS GRABS HIM, AND WHIPS HIM INTO HE STEEL RING POST! THRYLLA GOES DOWN! BRIAN KRESS PICKS HIM UP, AND THROWS HIM INTO THE GUARD RAIL!

Eddie Sensation - ADAM KRESS CHARGES IN, AND CLOTHESLINES SERIAL THRYLLA OVER THE GUARD RAIL!!!! AND NOW THEY'RE BRAWLING THROUGH THE CROWD!!!!!

The Informer - Chandler is crawling back into the ring... but Jericho is still out on the outside! The ref is counting Jericho out... 1... 2.... 3.... 4... 5...

Vic Canon - And Tom Stone is still here at ringside! HA! He's telling the referee to stop counting Jericho out! I love it!

Eddie Sensation - Chandler doesnt look too happy! He's going to the outside to get Jericho himself!

The Informer - Chandler picks up Jericho, and slides him into the ring... Chandler gets back into the ring, and backs off into the corner!

Vic Canon - It looks like Chandler it waiting for Jericho to get back to his feet! Jericho is slowly doing that... now on one knee.. and up on his feet! Chandler moves in....

Eddie Sensation - OH NO!!!! -HIROSHIMA-!!!!!!!

The Informer - MY GOD! THIS COULD BE OVER ANY SECOND! CHANDLER HAS THE HIROSHIMA APPLIED!!!!!!

Vic Canon - WAIT A MINUTE... STONE'S GETTING A LITTLE CLOSE! OOOOOH!!!! LOW BLOW!!! LOW BLOW!!! LOW BLOW ON CHANDLER BY TOM STONE!!!!

Eddie Sensation - AND CHANDLER RELEASES THE HOLD, AND COLLAPSES!! JERICHO IS STANDING, AND ALL HE SEE'S IS CHANDLER DOWN ON THE MAT! JERICHO RUNS TO THE ROPES!

The Informer - ......ASAI MOONSAULT!!!!!! HE NAILED IT!!!! HE NAILED IT!!!! JERICHO MIGHT HAVE IT WON, RIGHT HERE!!! ALL HE NEEDS TO DO IS GO FOR THE COVER!!!!!

Vic Canon - JERICHO AND CHANDLER ARE LAYING SIDE BY SIDE!!!! NEITHER MAN IS MOVING!!!!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - AND TOM STONE IS GOING CRAZY!!!!! STONE IS IN THE RING.... HE'S PULLING CHRIS JERICHO ON TOP OF CHANDLER!!!!!!! AND NOW HE'S TELLING THE REF TO COUNT THE PIN!!!!!! BUT THE REFEREE IS REFUSING!!!!!!!!!

The Informer - OH MY GOD!!!!!! YOU NEVER, EVER DISOBEY TOM STONE WHEN HE'S PISSED!!!! THIS REFEREE IS DEAD!!!!

Vic Canon - STONE HAS HIM BY THE THROAT, AND HE'S YELLING AT HIM TO COUNT THE PIN!! STONE LETS GO, AND THE REF COUNTS! 1............ 2............

Eddie Sensation - OOOOOH!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHANDLER WITH A KICKOUT, AT THE LAST SECOND!!!!!! AND STONE IS FUMING!!!!!! HE'S GOING NUTS!!!!!!!!

The Informer - Tom Stone is out here in front of us, looking for something under the ring! Oh no! He's got a steel chair! Something bad ALWAYS happens when Stone grabs a weapon!

Vic Canon - Chris Jericho is slowly getting to his feet, and so is Chandler! Chandler is up, and he swings at Jericho with a lariat! Chandler misses! Jericho grabs Chandler, and throws him to the ropes!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT! STONE SWINGS! WAIT! CHANDLER REVERSES, JERICHO GOES INTO THE ROPES..... WHAM!!!!!!!! OH NO!!!!!!! NOOOO!!!!! STONE HIT JERICHO, BY ACCIDENT!!!!!!

The Informer - FUCKING GREAT! GOD DAMN YOU STONE! YOU ALWAYS FUCK IT UP! JERICHO GOES STUMBLING INTO THE WAITING CHANDLER....... BIG TIMER!!! MY GOD! HE NAILED HIM! FIRST A CHAIR SHOT, THEN A BIG TIMER.......

Vic Canon - ......AND NOW HIROSHIMA!!!!!!! -HIROSHIMA-!!!!!!!!!! CHANDLER HAS IT LOCKED ON!!!!! JERICHO IS OUT, HE'S NOT RESPONDING!!!!!! THE REFEREE IS CALLING FOR THE BELL!!!!!!

Chris Myers - Chris Jericho has been eliminated! Therefore, the winner of this match, and now THREE TIME EWA Heavyweight Champion, Chandler!

Eddie Sensation - OH FUCK NO!!!!! CHANDLER IS THE WORLD CHAMPION, AGAIN!

The Informer - MY GOD!!!!!! THESE FANS IN JAPAN ARE GOING CRAZY!!!!!! CHANDLER HAS WON THE EWA WORLD TITLE, FOR THE THIRD TIME!!!!!! AND IT WAS ALL BECAUSE TOM STONE HAD TO STICK HIS FUCKING NOSE IN THERE!

Vic Canon - INFORMER, SHUT THE HELL UP! IF IT WASN'T FOR STONE GETTING WAR CRYME IN THE MATCH, OR STONE DISQUALIFYING SERIAL THRYLLA, OR STONE BREAKING UP THE HIROSHIMA, THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN OVER A LONG TIME AGO! GIVE THE MAN A BREAK!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - BUT WAIT! THIS ISN'T OVER YET!!!! STONE IS GETTING INTO THE RING!!!!! AND HE'S GOT THE EWA WORLD TITLE IN HIS HAND!!!!!!

The Informer - STONE, YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH!!!!!! JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!!

Vic Canon - MY GOD FANS, TOM STONE IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE ON CHANDLER!!!!!! CHANDLER HAS BEEN TERMINATED FROM THE EWA, BUT HE IS THE EWA WORLD CHAMPION!!!! STONE IS BLOWING SMOKE FROM HIS EARS!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - HEY..... WHAT THE HELL!?!???! NO!!!! NOOOO!!!!! TELL ME IM DREAMING!!!!! I DIDNT JUST SEE THAT!!!!!!

The Informer - OH..... MY.... GOD.... Fans, Tom Stone has just screwed Chris Jericho, AGAIN......... Tom Stone and Chandler have embraced, and that FUCKING SNAKE Tom Stone is putting the EWA Wolrd Title around Chandler's waist...

Vic Canon - WHAT?!?!? THEY WERE IN IT ALL ALONG?!?! STONE IS IN TEAM BALLZ?!?!?!

Eddie Sensation - THATS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, YOU IDIOT!!!

The Informer - I.... I.... I dont beleive this..... Stone was in it all along..... that DIRTY SNEAK...... and now here comes Serial Thrylla, with a Team Ballz shirt.... which I can imagine is for Tom Stone......

Vic Canon - Yes.... Tom Stone has put the Team Ballz shirt on..... my god, I cant beleive I fell for this shit..... I mean, Stone calls a meeting, and locks all the EWA wrestlers in a room...... pretends to be out cold..... then allows Team Ballz to take over his show..... I cant beleive it..... its so.... so..... so genius!

Eddie Sensation - God damn! Stone is a fucking genius! I love him! The NEW Team Ballz -- Tom Stone, Chandler and Serial Thrylla -- are all in the middle of the ring, with their arms raised! And that EWA World Title is around Chandler's waist!

The Informer - GOD, NO! THEY'RE CONTINUING TO BEAT ON CHRIS JERICHO!!!!! STONE IS STOMPING AWAY AT HIM LIKE A MAD MAN!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - Tom Stone lifts Chris Jericho to his feet..... LOOK OUT!!!!! OH MAN.... Tom Stone just threw Chris Jericho over the top rope, and Jericho landed on the bare concrete with a splat! This is SICK.... this is WRONG....

Eddie Sensation - this is GENIUS! I LOVE IT!

The Informer - Eddie, do I have to remind you that Team Ballz beat the shit out of you 2 weeks ago?!?!

Eddie Sensation - Ahhhh, I forgive them! It's forgotten!

The Informer - Oh please....

Vic Canon - And look at this now.... Balloons are being dropped from the top of the Tokyo Dome, in the traditional Team Ballz colors.... Black, Silver and Red.

Eddie Sensation - WOOHOO!!! PARTY TIME BOYS!!!!! BACKSTAGE SHOULD BE GREAT AFTER THE SHOW!!! HAHA!! I CANT WAIT!!!!!!!!

The Informer - Oh shut the hell up Eddie.... this is COLD.... I cant beleive Tom Stone did this......

[Suddenly, the lights go out. Seconds later, the entire entrance ramp lights up slowly.... Starting from the curtain, moving towards the ring. Once it is completely lit up, rings of red and white line the ring.... as if it were a big target symbol. Team Ballz is stunned, yet VERY interested in who the hell would have the balls to ruin their party! Just then, a Hummer comes out from behind the curtain....]

Vic Canon - Wait a minute.... what the hell is this?!?! There's a hummer coming to the ring! But I have no idea who's in it!

Eddie Sensation - It's all dark! I cant see!

The Informer - All we can see is two figures in the Hummer.... and it's SLOWLY moving down the ramp! Team Ballz is watching in awe!

Vic Canon - The Hummer is almost at the ring! It's going very slowly!

Eddie Sensation - DAMMIT, WHO'S IN THERE?!?!?!

The Informer - Patience Eddie!

Vic Canon - No, Informer.... we only have 5 minutes left! Fans, if we cut off....... WATCH HEAT!

Eddie Sensation - Well duh, you fucking retard!

[The Hummer reaches the bottom of the ramp, and stops. The lights dim, VERY low. We can only see rough outlines of shapes... No detail can be seen. Right now, Tom Stone could be mistaken for a woman. We suddenly hear both doors open. Two figures get out, with some sort of objects in their hands. They both close their doors, at the same time. They then walk around the ring, and stand side by side infront of the ring...]

The Informer - Fans, I cant make out who the hell those two are! They're close, but not close enough! The lights are too low!

[Just then, the lights come on...]

Vic Canon - OH MY GOD!!!!

Eddie Sensation - CALL THE PARAMEDICS, VIC CANON JUST HAD A HEART ATTACK!!!!!!

The Informer - FANS.... ITS..... ITS..... ITS..... ITS THE REGULATORS!!!!!!!! THE REGULATORS ARE HERE IN THE EWA!!!!!!

Vic Canon - [Having trouble breathing...]

Eddie Sensation - THEY'VE EACH GOT A HOCKEY STICK IN THEIR HANDS, AND ARE JUST STARING AT TEAM BALLZ!!!!! TEAM BALLZ IS SHITTING THEIR PANTS!!!!! THEY THOUGHT THE REGULATORS WERE DEAD!!!!!!!

The Informer - AND THE REGULATORS CHARGE INTO THE RING!!!!! AND INSTANTLY, TEAM BALLZ SCURRIES OUT OF THE RING!!! THOSE FUCKING CHICKEN SHITS!!!!! THE REGULATORS ARE BACK IN THE EWA! TEAM BALLZ, CHEW ON THAT!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - [Breathing heavily]

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!!! RICK RAMOS JUST THREW HIS HOCKEY STICK, AND IT HIT TOM STONE RIGHT IN THE HEAD!!!! HAHAHAHA!!! STONE IS PISSED!!!!

The Informer - OH MY GOD..... TOM STONE HAS JUST CHARGED INTO THE RING!!!! STONE IS IN THE RING, ALONE WITH THE REGULATORS!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - THE FUCKING REGULATORS ARE BACK!!!!!!!! I CANT FUCKING BELEIVE IT!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - HOLY SHIT! I HAVENT HEARD VIC SWEAR LIKE THIS SINCE... WELL, EVER!!!!!

The Informer - RICK RAMOS SCOOPS UP STONE..... REVERSE SHOULDER BREAKER!!!!!!!!! JOHNNY RAGE IS ON THE TOP ROPE...... 450 SPLASH!!!!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - TOM STONE HAS JUST BEEN DE-REGULATED!!!!!!!!!!

The Informer - FANS, WE'RE OUT OF TIME!!!!! IN ONE NIGHT, DA BJ BOYZ AND THE REGULATORS BOTH RETURN TO THE EWA!!!! THEY ARE THE GREATEST TAG TEAMS IN EWA HISTORY!!!!! AND IN ONE NIGHT, THEY'VE RETURNED TO TAKE OUT TEAM BALLZ, WHO NOW HAVE TOM STONE ON THEIR SIDE!!!! FANS, THANKS FOR JOINING US!!! DONT MISS TUESDAY NIGHT HEAT: THE AFTERMATH.... THERE ARE LOTS OF QUESTIONS TO BE ANSWERED! FOR VIC CANON, AND EDDIE SENSATION..... IM THE INFORMER, SAYING GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD FIGHT!!!