[Suddenly, we are brought to a shot of the ring. Standing in the middle of the ring is a man wearing jean shorts and a School of Hard Bumps shirt, he's got a mic and he runs a hand through his short hair.]

Man - Hey, don't even think about cutting me off and going straight to the opening for this show! I've been around too damn long for this shit to go on!

Eddie Sensation - What the hell is this guy doing?

The Informer - That's Ethan Tyler, he's not suppose to be in that ring with the cameras rolling!

Ethan Tyler - What you're looking at here, is the EWA's greatest sight seer. A man who has seen it all, from DFA's off the top of cages, to I Respect You Matches. I've also been with the EWA from the very beginning, but for reasons out of my hands, none of you know who the hell I am.

Eddie Sensation - This guy is a nut!

Vic Canon - Shut up, this sounds pretty interesting to me.

Ethan Tyler - Ever since the EWA re-opened from hiatus, I was offered the chance of a lifetime, a developmental deal to work for the high and mighty EWA. Here it sat before me, the chance to wrestle with the legends. Serial Thrylla, Deuce, Dino Delsante Chandler, Nomad, The Diamond Stud, The Regulators, people that give wrestlers like me names. I wasn't going to squander this deal and blow the chance I had to elevate myself to the same status. Since day one of that deal I wrestled my ass off in front of dark crowds and house shows, building up and polishing the skills I worked so damn hard on, only to get as a reward for my sweat and blood being getting called into the main office and hearing "We like your progress, but you still have a ways to go in your development." I'm sick of it Stone. I'm tired of sitting in the dark, because I'm already as damn good as I'm gonna and you know it! Since now that I'm here, live on Pay-Per-View, nationwide, where I should have been months ago, you can't sweep me under the rug Tom, not anymore....

Vic Canon - Looks like Security is coming out here now.

The Informer - Just goes to show, you mess with the booking plans, you get in deep trouble.

Ethan Tyler - Hey Tom, you know where to find me, I'm still sleeping in the back of my car. You can't hold me back anymore!

Eddie Sensation - Well, security is taking this Ethan Tyler guy to the back. They should toss him into a mental institute!

[The screen fades slowly into black, and then explodes back onto the screen with the letters that read "EWA� PPV!� Pay-Per-View Television� REVOLUTIONIZED!" We are now taken to a video compilation of many of the events that have taken place over the last few weeks in the, once again, Extreme Wrestling Assocation! The camera then takes us to an overhead shot inside the Gaylord Entertainment Center in Nashville, Tennessee where pyro is shooting off all over the place! The sold-out crowd in Nashville has turned with energy, excitement, and many� MANY signs, some of which read� "DIAMANTE IS IN THE GAUNTLET!"� "Tito is STRAIGHT!"� "I hate signs!"� "Nuno is MINE!! Hands off hoe's!"� "I'm more hardcore then The Wildman!!"� "BURN BABY, BURN!!!"� and many more. We're then taken to a shot of the EWA on-air crew at ringside, as we join them for the remainder of the telecast.]

The Informer - HE'S BEEN RIDING HIGH AS CHAMPION THUS FAR, BUT TONIGHT... WILL WE SEE THE MENTAL, PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL BREAK DOWN OF "THE FRANCHISE" CHRIS JERICHO? Welcome fans to a sold out Gaylord Entertainment Center here in Nashville, Tennessee where tonight the Extreme Wrestling Association brings you BREAK DOWN! I'm the Informer, and as usual I'm joined here at ringside by Vic Canon and Eddie Sensation! Guys, are we in for a wild ride tonight or what?

Vic Canon - You better believe it, Informer! Tonight, The EWA World Heavyweight Champion will have to do the impossible! Chris Jericho will have to fight Fallen Angel, Tom Stone and 3 other to-be-named opponents! HOW CAN HE SURVIVE?

Eddie Sensation - HE CAN'T! HA! And that's gonna be the beauty of it! I'd love to see Tom Stone or anybody take that belt off of Chris Jericho!

The Informer - I don't see how he'll survive! The odds are just too much! But that's not all we have! We're going to witness Chandler's American Pride Open Challenge!

Vic Canon - Can you believe that he's threatening to burn an American flag if no one steps up for American tonight?

Eddie Sensation - Chandler has the guts to do it, and I wouldn't doubt it at all! I just hope someone steps up for the red, white and blue!

The Informer - So do I! In addition, we're hopefully going to finally get some closure in the ongoing feud between Thorn and Brink!

Vic Canon - Best of 5 falls! That's insane! But it's going to happen, and one of these guys is gonna come out the loser!

Eddie Sensation - I got my money on Thorn! He's shown me a new attitude, and I love it!

The Informer - What about the Hair Salon match for the EWA International Title? Nomad is going to have to step into Nitrowalawitz's home away from home and defend his belt!

Vic Canon - "Hot Damn Gigolo" may be fooling around, but I tell you Nomad isn't!

Eddie Sensation - Yeah, but Nuno knows the territory better! Has Nomad ever gotten a real haircut in his life? NO! Tonight, we're gonna see a new champion baby!

The Informer - What about Canadian Rage in a Cage! Tom's the all around iron man tonight, isn't he?

Vic Canon - How does he expect to beat Hacker in a Cage?

Eddie Sensation - HEY! Don't doubt Tom Stone! He'll pull it out somehow! The way I'm looking at it, he's using the cage to keep Hacker from running!

The Informer - Yeah right! We've got championships gallore! Everything is gonna go down at BREAK DOWN! So let's get this baby going!

Ethan Tyler - Hey! You can't do this to me, I'm under EWA contract, if that's what you call it!

Security #1 - Sorry man, we're under orders from President Stone to escort you out of the building. I don't care if you're under contract.

Ethan Tyler - Can I at least get my stuff?

Security #2 - No, you can pick it up later.

Ethan Tyler - [Laughs] O.K. if you say so. This isn't the last you've seen of me! I'll be at the house show tomorrow night, you know where to find me. Enjoy your Pay-Per-View...

[Security opens the exit and Ethan walks himself through the door...]

The Informer - This can't be who I think it is can it?

[The curtains open, and the crowd erupts. Out steps the true pioneer, a REAL legend in this sport, the man known as TBL. He is wearing a full suit and tie, and a smile as wide as can be...]

Vic Canon - OH MY GOD! IT'S HIM, IT'S TBL!

[TBL walks down the aisle to a thunderous ovation. He climbs up the steps and into the ring. He climbs up on the turnbuckle, and does a trademark pose to another huge reaction. He climbs down, and is handed a mic. He pauses, as an enormous "TBL" chant breaks out. With one wave of the hand, he silences the crowd...]

TBL - I must say, it feels GREAT to be back in the ring again.

[Another loud roar erupts, followed by the chant again...]

TBL - Before I get started, there is something that I have to say. I am no longer the man that you have all grown up with. TheBottomLine, or TBL, no longer exists. I am not a wrestler anymore, nor do I ever plan on becoming one again. I had a great one, and loved every minute of it. However, the years in the ring took a toll on my body, and it was definitely time to move on. The man that stands before you is Dave Fenichel, the man I really am.

[The crowd listens on intently, not quite sure of what to think...]

Dave Fenichel - Now that I have said that, I bet there are a lot of you that are wondering just why I'm here. While me and Tom Stone have never seen eye to eye, we have always had a mutual respect for each other. When Tom called me and told me that he needed a favor, I told him to look no further.

Eddie Sensation - What is this over the hill hasbeen talking about?

[Fenichel pauses for a couple of moments, then continues...]

Dave Fenichel - With this in mind, I am here to announce that I am the new HEAD OF WRESTLING ADMINISTRATION for the EWA.

[The crowd goes ballistic, obviously pleased with this news!]

Dave Fenichel - That's right. While I no longer have the body to be able to compete in this sport, my love for it has not subsided. When Stone offered me this position, I jumped at the opportunity.

Dave Fenichel - HOWEVER, just because Stone hired me DOES NOT mean that I am one of his little henchmen, a mere puppet for him to pull the strings of. When I was a wrestler, I was MY OWN MAN, and in that aspect, NOTHING has changed. Stone may have given me this power with the intentions of being able to manipulate me, but that is not going to happen.

[An even louder roar is emitted from the crowd!]

Dave Fenichel - You see, I have been a fan of the EWA for a long time now. As I have looked on, there have been several things that I feel need to be changed. As far as I can see, Stone has interjected himself in WAY too many matters, and hasn't let some of the wrestlers get their chance to succeed. With this in mind, I would like to direct your attention over to the EWATron.

[The big screen turns on, and Fenichel and Stone are shown at a table signing what looks to be a contract. They finish signing, and shake hands. The big screen shuts off, and everyone's attention is reverted back to Fenichel in the ring...]

Dave Fenichel - When Stone signed that contract, he gave me the right to book any match I so desire. With that in mind, I have come up with an event that Tom Stone can do NOTHING to stop. I understand that the EWA has scheduled a World Tour, an event of epic proportions. So I figured what a better time to showcase some of the talent that Stone appears to be holding down. As of this minute, I bring you the EWA WORLD TOUR TOURNAMENT! That's right. It is a 16 man tournament that will span across the ENTIRE TOUR! It is single elimination, and you can bet that the man that comes out on top will get the attention he deserves.

[The crowd is abuzz once again, this news bringing new life to them.]

Eddie Sensation - What is this IDIOT doing? My man T Stone has made a TERRIBLE decision! How could he let such a moron hold power here?

Vic Canon - Shut up Eddie. As far as I'm concerned, he's a breath of fresh air.

[Fenichel silences the crowd, and continues...]

Dave Fenichel - I will announce the participants in this tournament on Tuesday Night Heat: The Aftermath. Before I go, I would just like to tell you all that I appreciate this opportunity, and that I will do anything in my power to ensure that the EWA is more fan friendly from here on out. Thank you, and enjoy the show.

[Fenichel drops the mic, and "Unforgiven II" kicks back in as he leaves the ring to an enormous ovation.]

Brandon Kearse - Yeah and there will be no difference from when I attacked him on Heat. The only thing different is that when I kick his ass for all my viewers, I will make Arthryn look like a member of the Milwaulkee Brewers. See Arthryn, I am The CliMaX Of PaSSion, The Mecca Of Entertainment and Center Of Flash Bulbs! I am here for two reasons. To Entertain and apply pain and of course become the new EWA North American Champion. Arthryn I am going to kick your ass and the song of the fat lady won't prevent me. So while I beat your ass from post to post, your chances of beating me are no where close. Arthryn these are all just pre match warnings but soon they will be reality that you can't escape. So while you get ready in the back with your mental prep, remember that you mental focus won't help you. Your momma won't help you. Son it's just me and you, man to women and theres nothing you can do about it. I am not going to sit here and say I am the best but I sure as hell is one of them. As for you. Your just ok but compared to be your just another wrestler I will leave in the dust just like 8-Ball! So shine that North American Title up real nice, put on your lipstick and kiss that piece of tin good bye because it is all over. You career and your title riegn. Damn Im sexy when I am mad. Don't you think?

Rachel Stevens - Ummm I guess.... What if you won the North American Title? What would you do to make your reign different than anyone else's?

Brandon Kearse - What do you think? Defend it you stupid bi*ch. I will put some class into that North American Title. People like Divine, Nuno Nitrowalawitz, Hakcer, Zed, Chris Slates, 8-Ball, Arthryn. Now tell me this Rachel. Where the hell is the class! You have Divine who is some homosexual from a Jerry Springer show. Nuno Nitrowalawitz who is a Gigalo for gods sakes! Then you have Hacker who only defended that title like 3 times. But now tonight, history is remade for the North American Title. Tonight I make Arthryn entertaining. Tonight is my DESTINY! Tonight there will be a new North American Champion! Like It? Don't Like It? Fu*k It, You Will Deal With It!

Rachel Stevens - Back to you guys at ringside!

["Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by Ashley Kearse, standing 6'3" and weighing in at 250 pounds, from California, "The Foundation" Brandon Kearse!

[Ashley Kearse and "The Foundation" Brandon Kearse step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - Brandon Kearse is the challenger! And he looks like he's prepared!

Vic Canon - This should be a classic North American Title match! Two great athletes will get in on One on One to try and prove themeselves, and get up higher in the ranks of the EWA!

["Hangman Jury" by Aerosmith blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'10" and weighing in at 312 pounds, from San Juan, Puerto Rico, the EWA North American Champion, Arthryn!

[The EWA North American Champion, Arthryn steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - Wait a minute... Arthryn has a mic!!

Arthryn - Woah woah woah... Hold on a second...

Vic Canon - What's this all about??

Eddie Sensation - We're about to find out!

Arthryn - What is this bullshit I hear?? I'm supposed to defend my title against BRANDON KEARSE?? BRANDON-FUCKING-KEARSE?!?!

The Informer - Yes, that's his name!

Arthryn - The same Brandon Kearse that LOST the Luck of the Draw Match?? The same Brandon Kearse that LOST to Nomad?? The same Brandon Kearse that ATTACKED BE FROM BEHIND?!?!

Vic Canon - Yup! That's him!

Arthryn - How the fuck do you figure?! This guy has prooved SHIT all! He still hasn't won a match in the EWA, and all he does is attack from behind! ...Kearse, FUCK YOU, I'm not wrestling you tonight!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT?!?! HE CAN'T DO THAT!!!

The Informer - Says who?? YOU, Eddie?! HA!!

Arthryn - Kearse, until you proove to me that you're worthy of a shot, I'll step in the ring with ya! But until then..... BLOW ME!

The Informer - DAMN!!! LISTEN TO ARTHRYN!!! HE'S PISSED!!!

Vic Canon - But look at Kearse! He looks a little pissed off himself! WAIT A MINUTE... BRANDON KEARSE JUST GRABBED A KID OUT OF THE FRONT ROW!!! NO!!! WHAT'S HE DOING?!?!?!

Eddie Sensation - OH SHIT!!!! DONT DO IT KEARSE!!!! THATS A LOT OF LEGAL SHIT YOU'RE GETTING INTO!!!!

The Informer - WHAM!!!!!! OH GOD!!!!! OH MY LORD!!!!! BRANDON KEARSE JUST POWERBOMBED A KID THAT'S GOTTA BE NOT EVEN 13 YEARS OLD!!!!

Arthryn - HAHAHA!!! Fucked up, but I like it! You've just prooved yourself my friend! Now get in here, and get your ass kicked!

Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!! HERE COMES SECURITY!!!!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT ARE THEY DOING?!?!

The Informer - OH NO!!! THEY'RE ARRESTING BRANDON KEARSE!!! HAHAHA!!! GOOD!!! THATS WHAT HE GETS!!!!

Vic Canon - BRANDON KEARSE IS BEING CARRIED AWAY IN HAND CUFFS!!!

Eddie Sensation - Kearse is PYSCHO!! And the Security dudes know it! They've even got a Security Guard in the ring for Arthryn, just incase Kearse gets free! HE'S NUTS!

The Informer - WAIT A MINUTE... WHAT THE HELL?!?! THAT SECURITY GUARD JUST NAILED ARTHYRN IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH HIS NIGHT STICK!!!

Vic Canon - WAIT A MINUTE..... THATS.... THATS NO SECURITY GUARD!!! IT'S JOHN 5!!!! JOHN 5 IS IN THE EWA, AND HE'S GOT HIS MOVE LOCKED ON ARTHRYN.... "SINISTER"!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - AND NOW SECURITY ARE COMING IN TO GET HIM OFF ARTHRYN!

The Informer - And John 5 releases the hold! Damn, what a series of shocking events!

Vic Canon - Check out John 5! He's making his way backstage in a hurry!!

Eddie Sensation - I guess he doesn't want those cops to arrest him like they did to Brandon Kearse!

The Informer - Wait a minute... I'm getting word that Rachel Stevens is backstage with John 5!

John 5 - Whatever.

Rachel Stevens - Mr. 5 what was your agenda destroying the North American title match between Arthryn and Foundation?

John 5 - Just to piss off all these Gaylords.

Rachel Stevens - And posing as a security gaurd..

John 5 - It's very simple Rachel. All of these disguisting American fans wanting to see all the violence possible, and I gave that very thing to them. You people make me sick, I want to just take a dump in this fucking ring to show what I think of each and every one of you people. Yeah budy, you in the front row, you little faggot

Rachel Stevens - I don't think you can say.. the f word.. umm.. both of them..

John 5 - Oh, sorry. How's this? Suck my fucking dick you little faggot.

["Oops, I did it again" by Britney Spears hits suddenly.]

John 5 - Ah here is a fine man, my manager, the Gay Milk Man.

Rachel Stevens - A gay Milk Man....

Gay Milk Man - Yes Rachel. Your hair is simply tittly riffic..

Rachel Stevens - Why thank you.... I think.

Gay Milk Man - HEY, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MOTHER FUCKING BITCHES PROBLEM IN THE AUDIENCE? HEY YOU MOTHER COCK WET-BACK BITCH! YOU THROW ANOTHER MOTHER FUCKING PIECE OF TRASH I AM GONNA RIP YOUR FUCKING TONSILS OUT AND SHOVE ICE CUBS UP YOUR GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING ASS BITCH.

Rachel Stevens - Ohmygod.

Gay Milk Man - SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU SON OF A MOTHER FUCKING HORSE SUCKING CUNT SLAMMING GRANDMA BUTTER KNIFE FINGERING MOTHER FUCKING BITCHES. DAD LOOK, YOU CAN'T FUCKING BEAT MY ASS ANYMORE MOTHER FUCKER, CAN YOU! LOOK AT ME NOW DAD, YOU FUCKING COCK SUCKER.

John 5 - Don't mind him Rachel, it's just a psychotic episode, he will snap out of it when he see's some cute shoes he likes.

Rachel Stevens - OK.. now what do you have against Arthryn?

John 5 - His name sounds like some type of ass cream.

Rachel Stevens - I meant.. physically..

John 5 - Same here.

Rachel Stevens - What about "The Foundation" Bradon Kearse, what was your problem with him?

John 5 - He's black.

Rachel Stevens - Uhhhhhhhhh.....

John 5 - I hate niggers, don't you.

Rachel Stevens - Uhhhhhhhhh....... CUT, CUT THE DAMN CAMERA..

John 5 - So whats on your mind Rachel, AND WOULD YOU PEOPLE SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Gay Milk Man - Did you see that foam finger, it was so cute.

John 5 - Hey Rachel.. your kind of hot.

Rachel Stevens - CUT! CUT! Keep going?! So.....

John 5 - Milk Man, could you please stop beating people with your penis for one minute and listen to me?

Gay Milk Man - Psychotic episode.

Rachel Stevens - SO.. What do you have to say to the rest of the EWA?

John 5 - Hello to all of my fellow EWA co-workers, none of whom will ever be as good as me.

Rachel Stevens - They asked me not to go right to this question.. but.. why are you in the EWA?

John 5 - Money.

Rachel Stevens - That's..... it..

John 5 - Yeah.

Rachel Stevens - Don't you have any.... goals.. ambition..

John 5 - Of course.... more money. Oh yeah, and I like to fuck hot chics.

Rachel Stevens - YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!

Gay Milk Man - FUCKING DON'T LIKE FUCKING PROFANITY? WHAT FUCKING PUSSY ASS BITCH HORSE SUCKING AND FUCKING CUNTLICKERS! VINCENT WILL FUCKING TEACH THOSE COCKWHORES TO FUCKING CURSE AND FUCKING LIKE FUCKING Milk Man MOTHER FUCKERS! Hey, my hair looks good today.

Rachel Stevens - Are you racist John 5?

John 5 - I'm not racist, I hate everyone equally.

Rachel Stevens - OH SORRY! TIMES UP! HAAAAA.. IT'S ASHAMED THIS HAS TO END.. BYE!

[........Just as they walk in, the trunk pops open. And out from the trunk come none other then European and International Cow, The Cows In Black!]

The Ragin' Rebel - Watch were yar goin' BOZO!

Jack Murphy - Huh?

THC III - Were you talking to us, by any chance?

"Jumpin'" Jimmy Swanson - YEA MISTER!! WE WERE!!! WANNA FIGHT?!?!?!

[The Dark Ryders look at each other, then proceed to BEAT the LIVING HELL out of the two jobbers...]

Lorenzo Hayes - Mexican Connection, tonight at Breakdown a team that has had your number from day one is going to take you out, and do it in ease. You see Mexican Connection you guys are nothing but border crossing third class citizens and WaR crYme and I are so much more, were the EWA tag team champions, were the team who has yet to be defeated since arriving in the EWA and were the team that are going to humiliate you punks tonight! Tonight on Breakdown the IconZ of PerfectioN are going to win and the only question surrounding this match is, how easily will we do it and will we break a sweat!

Rob DiMarco - But the Mexican Connection may not be the only thing you guys have to worry about! Earlier tonight, we saw the Cows in Black get out of your car trunk a few minutes after you guys entered the building!

WaR CrYmE - DiMarco, once again youre wrong. The only thing The IconZ have to worry about, and i mean the only thing we have....(serious galnce towards camera)is which lucky fan(s) were going to bring back to the locker room with us to "celebrate" our victory. You see, we've beaten The Mexican Connection, once maybe twice already, and as for CIB...listen they dress up as cows, enough said. And as for them getting out of our trunk, if i find one "milk" stain on the carpeting in the trunk, i will slaughter you and send you to f*cking Price Chopper, cause ive had enough of this mind game shit!!! You kidnap us, from behind...not unusual...and tie us upside down then brand CIB in our chest?!?! You guys are friggin toast, once Lorenzo and myself take care of The Mexican Connection, were coming after you, and if you dont believe us, ask around. We've got a good reputation as far as fufilling our promises.

Rob DiMarco - Over to you Rachel!

El GiGante - Damn chica we're The MeXican CoNNection. Does it look like we need any help?

Rachel Stevens - Well.....

El GiGante - Well what chica? I don't think its a multiple choice question.

Rachel Stevens - I guess you won't need help....

El GiGante - You guess what? You guess that we don't need help. Well your damn right cause tonight we're gonna walk down that damn aisle and kick the s*it out of The IconZ of PerfectioN MeXican style! This night is the night where The MeXican CoNNection start out their record to be the longest reigning tag team champions in EWA history. And The IconZ of PerfectioN will not stop us. No one can stop us now esa. Were at the top of our game and were gonna keep rising to the occasion like usual. So Hayes, Cryme you brothas better be ready to take a beating from two mean MeXicans. Cause remember boys when you F*CK WITH THE MEXICAN CONNECTION YOUR BOUND TO BE ANOTHER VICTIM OF GO GOYA!

Rachel Stevens - Any last words for the Iconz of Perfection?

Moochie - ...By with a little help from my friends!' And if that little help is those Cows In Black, so be it meng! Cuz the Mexican Connection has those titles meng. Hell, I have already started the party. And when that match is ov-er meng, I expect at least half of yahs back and partying wit us.

Rachel Stevens - Back to you guys at ringside!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the EWA Tag Team Championships!

["Rap Superstar" by Cypress Hill blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by Bret Sheer and Jay, at a total combined weight of 345 pounds, Moochie "The Disgruntled Mexican" and El GiGante, The Mexican Connection!

[Bret Sheer, Jay and The Mexican Connection step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - And there are the challengers! And dont be too surprised if they walk out of here as the champions! These two make a great team!

Vic Canon - They sure do!! But so do their opponents! And that is going to make this match a great one!

["Raw" by Staind blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - And their opponents... at a total combined weight of 512 pounds, they are the EWA Tag Team Champions... Lorenzo Hayes and WaR CrYmE, The Iconz Of Perfection!

[The EWA Tag Team Champions, The Iconz of Perfection step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - Wait a minute... Look's like we've got MORE company! The Dark Ryders and Stacy Vaughn are coming down to the ring!

Vic Canon - And they've got a mic in hand! Lets listen...

THC - You see, since Friday night at The Cornerstone Invitational, we The Dark Ryder's have been on the phone with ever major fed owner out there, every fed but one.... THIS ONE�. We didn't get any phone call from Tom Stone asking us to be in the best federation going. So we invited ourselves to dirty, disgusting, vile, Nashville, Tennessee, to EWA Break Down. So we came here tonight to scout out the competition to see what the Tag Team division is all about, and to see if it's worth our time. We've seen what the Iconz can� I mean can't do, so we got ourselves some cold beers and hot popcorn and we're gonna see what these other clowns are all about�.

Eddie Sensation - OOOOOOOooookay!

The Informer - Well, it looks like these three are taking a seat in the front row! This is pretty weird...

Vic Canon - Yeah... Who comes to the ring and actually WATCHES the matches?? Something tells me they'll get involved...

Eddie Sensation - YOU THINK SO!?!??!

The Informer - And there's the bell! WaR CrYmE is going to start this one off against Moochie!

Vic Canon - And Moochie isn't wasting any time! He charges at WaR CrYmE.... CrYmE kicks him in the gut.... OH!!! OH MY!!!! GENOCIDAL TENDENCIES!!!!! WAR CRYME NAILED HIS SIGNATURE MOVE!!! HE'S GOING FOR THE COVER.... 1...... 2..... NO!!! EL GIGANTE BREAKS IT UP JUST IN TIME!

Eddie Sensation - And now El GiGante is laying the boots to WaR CrYmE! Moochie is up! But he's stumbling around! The Mexican Connection are now double teaming CrYmE!

The Informer - They throw him to the ropes.... OH! Double Back Body Drop! And now the ref is telling El GiGante to leave the ring! But he's not listening! OH NO! GIGANTE JUST SHOVED THE REF!! NOW THE REF IS GETTING IN HIS FACE!

Vic Canon - Look over there! Lorenzo Hayes is climbing to the top rope! Moochie swings at WaR CrYmE with a clothesline... CrYmE ducks, and hoists Moochie on his shoulders! OH NO!!! THEY HAVE IT SET UP!!! LOOK OUT!!!!! PICTURE PERFECT!!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - AHHHHHH!!! THEY NAILED IT!!!!

The Informer - HEY, LOOK!! THERE ARE THE COWS IN BLACK!!! THEY'RE IN THE RING!!!! EUROPEAN COW GRABS WAR CRYME.... TWO PERCENT!!!! HE NAILED HIM!!!! INTERNTIONAL COW GRABS LORENZO HAYES, AND SETS HIM UP! EUROPEAN COW GETS IN POSITION.... OH!!!!!! SKIMMED MILK!!!! THEY NAILED LORENZO HAYES WITH THEIR MOVE!

Vic Canon - HAYES IS OUT COLD!!!! AND NOW THE COWS IN BLACK ARE PUTTING MOOCHIE ON TOP OF HAYES!!!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!!! THE COWS ARE GETTING OUT OF HERE, AND WAR CRYME IS OUT COLD ON THE OUTSIDE!!! NOBODY CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!!!

The Informer - EL GIGANTE IS FINALLY LEAVING THE RING!! THE REF SEE'S THE PIN, AND HE COUNTS.... 1.......... 2........ 3!!!!!

Vic Canon - OH NO!!!! WE HAVE NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!

Chris Myers - The winners of this match, and NEW EWA Tag Team Champions, The Mexican Connection!

Eddie Sensation - HA!! THE COWS SHOULD BE THE CHAMPS!! THEY'RE THE ONES WHO KNOCKED OUT HAYES!!!

The Informer - True, VERY true! And now the Mexican Connection are getting the hell out of here, with they're new Titles!

Vic Canon - Uh oh! Look in the ring! WaR CrYmE and Hayes are getting up.... They're not too happy!

Eddie Sensation - OH NO!!! CRYME JUST SHOVED HAYES!!

The Informer - AND HAYES SHOVES CRYME BACK!!!! COULD THIS BE THE END OF THE ICONZ OF PERFECTION?!?!

Vic Canon - THEY'RE STANDING FACE TO FACE!!!! THEY COULD EXPLODE ANY SECOND NOW!!!

Eddie Sensation - COME ON!!! ONE OF YOU HIT THE OTHER!!!! I WANNA SEE THIS!!!!

The Informer - NO!!! INSTEAD, THEY SHAKE HANDS! PHEW! The Iconz of Perfection are O.K.... WaR CrYmE was just a little upset, and I can understand why!

Vic Canon - Yeah... WaR CrYmE has been putting in a lot of extra hours recently... His skill has increased greatly, and so has his body in size! He's put extra hours in the gym, and it shows!

Eddie Sensation - Canon, you staring at men's bodies again?!

The Informer - Be nice, Eddie!

Vic Canon - Wait a minute... LOOK! The Dark Ryders and Stacy Vaughn are nowhere to be seen! And they didn't even interfere in the match! Damn, I guess I was wrong about them!

Eddie Sensation - Like always!

The Informer - Lets send it backstage!

Iceberg Slim - Today's the day, DiMark! The day that Don Michaels/Iceberg Slim feud comes to an end! The day that Don Michaels/ Iceberg Slim leave all the hate and anger built up from all these years inside the ring, na'mean? It all ends tonight! No more sneak attacks, no more wheel chairs, no more solid gold chairs�NO MORE! One of us ain't walking out that ring tonight, you know what I'm sayin!? That's why it's called the Once And For All Match!

Rob DiMarco - Are you at all worried about The Paparazzi, who will be at ringside? What happens if they decide to get involved?

Iceberg Slim - Worried? HA!HA!HA! Let me give you 5�that's right 5 f**kin' reasons why Iceberg Slim ain't worried� 1. Mustafa El-Ahmed, to my left... 2. Paul Brown a.k.a. "Uncle" Paulie, got my back... 3. Anthony Johnson a.k.a. "Fat" Tony, next to him... 4. Charles Jackson a.k.a. Charlie Black, to my right...

Rob DiMarco - And your last reason, Slim? You only gave me 4 reasons.

Iceberg Slim - HA!HA! Who you think is the last one, huh? Who's the only other man in the EWA that got just as much hate for Don as much as me, man? The man that says that he's the true King of Glitz and Glamour�

Rob DiMarco - You don't mean�not HIM! Your not implying that Lorenzo Hayes is not going to call this match in YOUR favor because of his rivalry with Don Michaels? Uhh�are you?

Iceberg Slim - I'm out! Let's go ya'll�

Rob DiMarco - Slim�Slim? Well, I guess we won't find out until match time. Over to you, Rachel!

Don Michaels - You know me Rachel, I always have words. It seems as if the Iceman is starting to melt. But that's to be expected when you try and stand in the spotlight with The $uperstar Don Michaels. For you see, men like Iceberg Slim aren't made for the spotlight, they can't live under it's ever present the glare. Why? Because gangsters like Slim live in darkness, they strike from the cover of darkness, and then slink back into the shadows when the damage is done. They can't stand and fight in the open, they can't stand the spotlight and the pressure it brings. Now a person like myself, lives his life in the spotlight, every moment of everyday of my life is lived in the spotlight. When I go shopping in the mall, the spotlight is on, when I take a lady out to dinner the spotlight is on, when I go to the park for some sun and relaxation the spotlight is on, the pressure to perform is on.. So I'm used to the eyes on me twenty four seven, I'm used to the stares and the glares. Slim isn't, Slim is used to people lowering their gaze when he's around, he's used to the protection given to by shadows. Well the lights are on, the camera's are focused on you, are you ready for the action that I'm about to bring to you? I really don't think so.

Rachel Stevens - We know that the Paparazzi will be at ringside, only a few feet from the ring... Have you ordered them to get involved, or not to? In other words, will you use the Paparazzi for help, if necessary?

Don Michaels - I won't need the Paparazzi for Slim. But Lorenzo Hayes is another matter. If he tries anything "funny", anything at all then he's going to recieve the beating of his life. So heed my warning, $tallion, or you'll get put out to pasture.

Rachel Stevens - Back to you Rob!

Rob DiMarco - Hello there Mr. Hayes sorry to disturb you but me along side the whole world is wondering about this referee job that you have been put into tonight at breakdown!

Lorenzo Hayes - Well isn't that nice. I must say DiMarco didn't your mother teach you manners when you were a kid? You just stormed into my room without even geting my permission! What would have happened if I were to have been naked? The camera would have gotten a FREE glimpse at this body of wax! And that would have lost me millions because I have modeling angencies phoning my house 24/7 asking if i'll go in the nude.So next time Robert you knock and await to see if I will let you into my room! Understood?

Rob DiMarco - Yes sir. Anyway you and Don Michaels over the past month or so have been in a heated feud with words and it just happens that tonight you will be refereeing his match. Honestly do you plan on being a fare ref?

Lorenzo Hayes - Rob please tell me what does it say on the back of my shirt?

Rob DiMarco - "I'll go by my judgement"

Lorenzo Hayes - And what do you think that means?

Rob DiMarco - That you'll do what you want to do!

Lorenzo Hayes - Exactly; this whole week i've been at the EWA powerplant learning how to be a ref who calls it perfectly down the middle a so called "Perfect ref" and i'm sorry to say that just isn't going to happen it's just too difficult for me to be fare.

Rob DiMarco - So what you saying is that you're going to help out one of the wrestlers in tonights match?

Lorenzo Hayes - Who knows? Maybe Iceberg Slim needs a boost of confidence, and I might know a way of geting him what he wants.

Rob DiMarco - So what you're saying is that you are going to help out Iceberg Slim?

Lorenzo Hayes - All i'm going to say is this, tonight when I referee the match between Don Michaels and Iceberg Slim I am going to show all the movie critics in Hollywood that Don Michaels is too old for the business and is definitly not the main attraction right now in Hollywood! How will I show all the critics this? I guess you'll have to wait and see!

Chris Myers - This next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Once and For All Match!

["Glaciers of Ice" by Raekwon blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by The Posse, standing 6'5" and weighing in at 250 pounds, from Brooklyn, New York, Iceberg Slim!

[The Posse and Iceberg Slim step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - And here come Iceberg Slim and The Posse! Iceberg looks focused!

Vic Canon - And The Posse look like they've got evil intentions! I dont like the looks of this!

Eddie Sensation - Oh shut up Vic... Dont cry, ok?

["What's The Difference" by Eminem & Dr. Dre blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - And now, the special referee for this contest... standing 6'3" and weighing in at 267 pounds, from Palm Springs, California, "Mr. Ratings" Lorenzo Hayes!

["Mr. Ratings" Lorenzo Hayes steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - Well, with Lorenzo Hayes as the referee, you can be sure that The Posse an Paparazzi won't interfere!

Vic Canon - True, but HE could be the one who interferes! Ever think of that?

The Informer - Very true Vic... we know that Lorenzo Hayes and Don Michaels dont like each other at all!

["My Way" by Frank Sinatra blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... accompanied to the ring by Jeanine Trujillo, standing 6'3" and weighing in at 249 pounds, from Brooklyn, New York, "The $uperstar" Don Michaels!

[Jeanine Trujillo and "The $uperstar" Don Michaels step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - Well, this is it! Once and For All!

Vic Canon - Yup!! Iceberg Slim and Don Michaels are circling the ring, staring at each other! They lock up!

Eddie Sensation - Oooh! Don Michaels shoves Iceberg back into his corner!

The Informer - And we get a clean break! Wow, thats weird... They lock up again! ....This time Iceberg sends Micahels to his corner!

Vic Canon - And AGAIN, we get a clean break! I guess they don't want to mess with Lorenzo Hayes!!

Eddie Sensation - Maybe!

The Informer - And they lock up again! Don Michaels throws Iceberg to the ropes.... Slim ducks a clothesline attempt, turns around, and the two stand face to face!

Vic Canon - But niether of them are moving! They're just staring!

Eddie Sensation - This is weird! I guess they're afraid to make the first mistake!

The Informer - And finally, they back away from eachother!

Vic Canon - But, they lock up again! Michaels grabs Iceberg in a headlock! No, Iceberg reverses it! Oh! German Suplex with a release by Iceberg Slim! But Don Michaels quickly gets back to his feet!

Eddie Sensation - Nice move by Slim!

The Informer - Michaels charges at Iceberg! Armdrag by Slim! Iceberg Slim gets up, and positions himself behind the fallen Don Michaels!

Vic Canon - I'm shocked... the Posse nor The Paparazzi have gotten involved in this match, so far! These too men are determined to settle this between them and only them ONCE AND FOR ALL!

Eddie Sensation - UH OH! It seems that Iceberg is ready to end this NOW! He's calling for the Diamond's Edge!! He's just waiting for Michaels to get up!!

The Informer - Michaels is up! Iceberg with a STANDING SIDE KICK!! NO!!! MICHAELS DODGED IT, AND THE KICK HIT LORENZO HAYES IN THE JAW!!!

Vic Canon - Was that an accident??

Eddie Sensation - I think so!! NEVERMIND!!!!! DON MICHAELS JUST HIT LORENZO HAYES WITH HIS MOVE, THE AUTOGRAPH!!!!!!

The Informer - IT'S A SETUP!!!!! IT'S A SETUP!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!!!

Vic Canon - And now Michael's has a mic! Oh great... Lets listen in!

Don Michaels - What's the matter, Lorenzo? You look surprised. You really shouldn't be though, because even that idiot, Arthryn, knew that we were setting up the EWA all along. Open up your eyes, look at Slim and I.

[Iceberg Slim stands over the helpless Lorenzo Hayes and dangles his platinum chain with the ($) sign encrusted with diamonds.]

Don Michaels - His symbol is a dollar sign�I spell my name with a dollar sign. We both grew up together in Brooklyn, N.Y., we even dress the same, suit jackets with no shirts.

Iceberg Slim - HA!HA!HA! What a stupid mutha f**ka! HA!HA!HA!

Don Michaels - But then again, Hayes�I can't really blame you for falling into my little trap. Slim should've won an Academy Award for his role he played, and I AM an actor.

Iceberg Slim - Thanks, man. But hold up, hold up. Let's find out if Hayes here is a good actor. Let's see how he play the "helpless innocent victim who's about to get his f**kin' @ss kicked" role, na'mean?

[Slim calls over Charlie Black, who is carrying his metal attache case. Black opens it and pulls out a pair of solid gold handcuffs, and locks the dazed Lorenzo Hayes to the ring ropes.]

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAH!! THEY'RE GOING TO HANDCUFF HIM!!!

Vic Canon - OH NO!!! LORENZO IS HELPLESS!!! SOMEONE CALL OUT SOME HELP FOR HIM!!

Don Michaels - So, now after all your petty cheapshots, after all of your silly jibes, we're finally in the ring, and I have to tell you Lorenzo�you're even dumber now than I remember back in the NHBWF. In fact, everyone in the EWA is on the slow side, which is why I'm here. I'm about to usher in a new era�an era of intelligent entertainment, and I'm going to begin this era of intelligent entertainment by disposing of you. But I'm not going to end your career just yet. I'm going to have a little fun with you first.

[Suddenly, "Raw" by Staind begins to play over the load speaker and WaR CrYmE rushes to the ring. Behind him is a mortified Dominique Toto.]

The Informer - WAR CRYME IS CRAZY!!! HE'S GOING TO GET SLAUGHTERED DOWN HERE!!

Vic Canon - THE POSSE HAVE STEPPED UP!! CLOTHESLINE!! SPINEBUSTER!! DROP KICK!!!! BACK BODY DROP!!!!!! OH MY!!!! WAR CRYME HAS JUST DESPOSED OF THE POSSE, JUST LIKE THAT!!!!

Eddie Sensation - HOLY SHIT!!!!!

The Informer - AND NOW HERE COME THE PAPARAZZI!!! THEY'VE ALL GOT WEAPONS... THEY'RE SURROUNDING WAR CRYME!

Vic Canon - Paparazzi #1 swings, WaR CrYmE ducks.... OH NO!!! PAPARAZZI #1 JUST TOOK OUT PAPARAZZI #2!! AND WAR CRYME DROP KICKS HIM IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD!!!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK!!! THE REMAINING TWO PAPARAZZI MEMBERS ARE AMBUSHING WAR CRYME!!!

The Informer - WaR CrYmE kicks Paparazzi #3 in the gut.... GENOCIDAL TENDENCIES!!!! WAR CRYME NAILED HIM WITH IT, RIGHT INTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR!

Vic Canon - CRYME GRABS PAPARAZZI #4..... OOH!!! RIGHT INTO THE RING POST!!! HE'S GOT A MOUTH FULL OF STEEL NOW!!!

[WaR CrYmE rushes into the ring, only to be met by Don Michaels awesome $uperkick!]

The Informer - OH MAN!!! HE GOT NAILED!!!!

[WaR CrYmE staggers back and falls through the ropes, where he is immediately pounced upon by the Posse and The Paparazzi. They roll WaR CrYmE into the ring...]

Vic Canon - Wait a minute... Don Michaels is climbing to the top rope! Iceberg Slim has a hold of WaR CrYmE's arms... He's got him up in a Double Underhook!

Eddie Sensation - MICHAELS SIGNALS!!!! LOOK OUT!!!!!!!

The Informer - OOOOH MAN!!!!!! A SUPER CHILL FACTOR!!!!! MY GOD, GET SOME HELP OUT HERE FOR WAR CRYME!!!

[Iceberg Slim and Don Michaels then roll WaR CrYmE out of the ring and onto the floor. Two members of the Paparazzi rush after Dominique, who's so startled that by the time she realizes what's happening, the two Paparazzi have Dominique by the arms, and are dragging her into the ring.]

Don Michaels - Come in the ring Dominique, I'm not going to hurt you.

[The Paparazzi give Dominique a stern glare, and she slowly enters the ring. She timidly looks into Michaels eyes.]

Don Michaels - Now Toto�dear, sweet Dominique Toto. I know your Lorenzo's fiancee, but tell me honestly....who's your favorite actor/wrestler/Hollywood pretty boy?

Dominique Toto - Lorenzo Hayes!

Iceberg Slim - �tsk, tsk, tsk�

Don Michaels - Wrong answer.

The Informer - Oh no... LOOK OUT!!!

Vic Canon - WHAM!!! OH MAN!!! DON MICHAELS JUST NAILED HAYES WITH ANOTHER $UPERKICK!!

Don Michaels - Now tell me again, Dominique� WHO is your favorite wrestler/actor/Hollywood pretty boy?

The Informer - Dominique isn't answering!! And because of that, Lorenzo is going to pay for it! WHAM!!! OH NO!! ANOTHER $UPERKICK!!

[Iceberg Slim is passed a steel chair from "Fat" Tony. Slim holds the chair over Lorenzo's face.]

Don Michaels - For the LAST time Dominique, tell me who is your favorite wrestler/actor/Hollywood pretty boy? And think very carefully about Lorenzo Hayes' next photo shoot with Calvin Klein��

[Michaels glances back at the steel chair placed in front of Lorenzo's face.]

Dominique Toto - Stop hurting him....please....

Don Michaels - Dominique, I don't want to see you cry. That's the last thing in the world that I want to do to you. Because, believe it or not, I am a gentleman, and as a gentleman I never want to make a woman cry. But you have to work with me, Dominique. You have to be my leading lady for the next few minutes.

Dominique Toto - Will you stop hurting Lorenzo?

Don Michaels - If you co-operate with me, I won't hurt him anymore, at least not tonight. I give you my word. Now will you co-operate?

Vic Canon - NO! Don't trust Don Michaels!

Eddie Sensation - Shut up Vic! He's a man of his word!

Dominique Toto - [Nod]

Don Michaels - Good.

[Michaels snaps his fingers, and one of the Paparazzi enters the ring with a large paper bag. Michaels reaches into the bag and pulls out a Time Commando 4 hat, he shows it to the crowd for a few moments, then places it on Toto's head. Adding insult to injury, Michaels pulls a pair of TC4 special edition sunglasses out of the bag and places them over Toto's eyes.]

Don Michaels - Now once again, Domonique�who is your favorite wrestler?

Dominique Toto - "The $uperstar" Don Michaels.

Don Michaels - And who's your favorite actor?

[Tears roll down Domonique's eyes.]

Dominique Toto - "The $uperstar" Don Michaels.

Don Michaels - And who's your favorite Hollywood prettyboy?

Dominique Toto - "The $uperstar" Don Michaels.

Don Michaels - And who's the only King of Glitz and Glamour?

Dominique Toto - "The $uperstar" Don Michaels.

Don Michaels - And who's the true $tallion of $howbiz?

Dominique Toto - "The $uperstar" Don Michaels.

Don Michaels - And who's the real Hollywood Heartthrob?

Dominique Toto - "The $uperstar" Don Michaels.

Don Michaels - That's right Lorenzo, you heard it from your own fiancee. Don Michaels was the man, Don Michaels is the man, and Don Michaels will always be the man.

[Michaels' smile reaches from ear to ear upon hearing Dominique's words. He snaps his fingers again, and the Paparazzi rush to the ring with their cameras. Michaels puts his arm around the heartbroken Domonique Toto and smiles as they snap photos of the pair.]

Don Michaels - Now, "The $uperstar" Don Michaels is a man, and as a man�he's true to his word. I won't hurt him anymore tonight.

Vic Canon - Wow, I guess I was wrong!

Eddie Sensation - See, I told you he's a man of his word.

The Informer - WAIT A MINUTE! NO!!! LOOK!!!

Vic Canon - WHAM!!!! ICEBERG SLIM JUST NAILED HAYES WITH THE DIAMOND'S EDGE!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAH!! HAYES WENT FLYING OVER THE TOP ROPE, AND HE'S STILL HANDCUFFED!!! HIS SHOULDER IS MAYBE DISLOCATED!!! HAHAHAH!!! I LOVE IT!!!!

[Dominique Toto rushes over to Lorenzo and cradles the unconcious $tallion of Showbiz in her arms. Michaels watches the scene for a few minutes, and then walks over to the corner with a pair of movie tickets in his hand.]

Don Michaels - Oh, and Hayes, WaR CrYmE... remember 7/4 is TC4!

The Informer - And now Don Michaels and Iceberg Slim are leaving the ring!

Vic Canon - And look at that disrespect! They're leaving the tickets on WaR CrYmE's chest! AND THEY'RE LAUGHING!!! HOW CAN YOU LAUGH AT THIS?!?!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAHAH!!! EASILY!!! HAHAHAHAH!!!

The Informer - Well, here come a load of EWA officials to help out Lorenzo Hayes and WaR CrYmE... Guys, I can't stand to see stuff like this.... lets send it backstage....

Rocky Blonde - HEY! Want to buy one of my chocolate bars?!

EWA Staff Member - How much?

Rocky Blonde - $8.50!

EWA Staff Member - WHAT?! ARE YOU CRAZY?!

Rocky Blonde - Well, I have to make up for lost profit!

EWA Staff Member - You're nuts kid! Why dont you win some matches instead, and make cash from Stone??

Rocky Blonde - BECAUSE, I LIKE MY CHOCOLATE BARS!

[The EWA Staff Members walk away laughing at Blonde, while he sits there waiting for the next person to walk by....]

The Wildman - DiMarco, you picked a really bad fuckin time to ask me your stupid questions. Here I am getting ready to fight The Hustler in this fuckin jail that he's had 24 hours to study, and not only that, but it's for the Extreme title. Now, why would you come all the way out here, just to piss me off? Because Stone told you too? Well, FUCK STONE!!! HE'S AN ASSHOLE, A PRICK, A FUCKHEAD, AND AFTER I BEAT HUSTLER'S ASS TONIGHT, AND WIN THE EXTREME TITLE FOR A RECORD FOURTH TIME, I'M GONNA SHOVE IT UP STONE'S ASS AND WATCH AS HE FUCKIN SQUILLS LIKE THE LITTLE PIG HE IS!!!!

Rob DiMarco - Do you feel at a disadvantage because The Hustler had 24 hours to prepare, inside?

The Wildman - Not really. All Hustler has managed to do right is piss me off real good, and you above anyone else knows how that is the biggest mistake you could ever make in your pathetic, meaningless life. Hustler, you're nothing. I AM THE EWA'S HARDCORE LEGEND, NOT YOU. What have you done for pro wrestling? Given another reason for the fans to change the fuckin channel? That's about it. And after I'm done with you, they won't be able to recognize your bitch-ass, so they won't be changing the channel anymore. Stone should like that. Now get outta my way, DiMarco, before I shove my cold fingers down your gullet and make you feel an Aftershock unlike you've ever felt before, even in the heart of good ol' sunny California.

Rob DiMarco - Well, good luck!

Vic Canon - Exactly... Well, there's the Wildman! This is a LIVE shot of the Jailhouse! Wildman has now ENTERED, and the doors are being locked!

Eddie Sensation - Do we have a camera inside??

The Informer - Yes Eddie, many of them... About 4 or 5... Just incase something happens to one of them!

Vic Canon - AH! And here's a view of inside... wow, it's dark! I'd hate to be in there!

Eddie Sensation - Damn, look at all those cells! And the light reflecting in is making me shit my pants! This is like watching a scary movie, only this is real!

The Informer - There's the Wildman! He's slowly walking up those stairs.... LOOK OUT!!! OH MAN!!!! THERE'S THE HUSTLER!!!! HE'S ATTACKED THE WILDMAN FROM BEHIND WITH A LEAD PIPE!!!

Vic Canon - DAMN!! LOOK AT THE HUSTLER!!! HE LOOKS TIRED, AND DIRTY! HE'S BEEN IN THERE FOR 24 HOURS, SEEKING THE EXIT! But has he found it?!

Eddie Sensation - WHO KNOWS! We'll find out soon though!

The Informer - OOOH!! The Hustler nails the Wildman across the chest with the pipe!! And now he's lifting The Wildman to his feet..... OOOH!!! MY GOD!!! THE HUSTLER JUST THREW HIM HEAD FIRST INTO A CELL DOOR!! THAT'S PURE STEEL!! DO YOU KNOW HOW THICK THAT STUFF IS?!?! IT'S MADE SO YOU CAN'T BREAK IT!

Vic Canon - Well, some say The Wildman's head was made to not be dented or broken, but I can guarantee you that it's dented right now! HA!!

Eddie Sensation - Vic.... SHUT UP!.... You're NOT funny!

The Informer - Oh no! The Hustler has some handcuffs! And he's handcuffing The Wildman to that cell door! Oh no! He's got him cuffed! The Wildman is in trouble now!

Vic Canon - Well fans, we're going to cut.... We've got people watching the match backstage, and they'll warn us if anything happens! But, for now, we're going to continue with the Pay Per View!

Eddie Sensation - DAMMIT, I want to watch that match!

The Informer - Then go backstage!

Vic Canon - And yes, as odd as Nuno may be with his new persona� believe it or not, but he actually scored a victory over Nomad to become the number one contender!

Eddie Sensation - HA! Yeah! Nuno rocks! HE'S A GIGOLO! Have you seen some of the broads with him? MAN!

The Informer - Word on the street has it that Nitrowalawitz is a� "chick magnet"�

Vic Canon - Think of this young kid from Poland! He went from being the biggest nerd in the history of the EWA to actually having� damn� he has a following of some of the hottest women I've ever seen!

Eddie Sensation - Who cares! He's got confidence now! These chicks have had an adverse affect on his in-ring capabilities! Now, I've got a feeling Nomad has under-estimated this guy! And he's gonna pay in the worst way!

[The screen fills with a feed of Nomad outside a Hair Salon. He's about to enter the establishment, and seems openly out of place�]

The Informer - HERE WE GO! Fans, this is a live feed! Nomad is entering the Hair Salon!

Vic Canon - THERE'S PEOPLE IN THERE??

Eddie Sensation - HA! Oh God! The place is still open! Someone is gonna get hurt!

The Informer - Nomad is in the Salon, and he's starting to look around for "Hot Damn Gigolo" Nuno Nitrowalawitz!

Vic Canon - Nomad is hanging his EWA International Title on a coat hanger at the entrance. I guess he plans on staying a while!

Eddie Sensation - We've got women sitting all around with their heads under those huge blow driers! Guys getting their hair cut� by other guys� uh oh�

The Informer - Hey, look� who is that??

Vic Canon - My goodness! A VERY attractive woman has just approached Nomad!

Eddie Sensation - MAN! Some people have all the luck!

The Informer - Wait a second� HOLD ON! THERE'S NUNO! Nuno is sneaking up from behind Nomad!

Vic Canon - That is obviously one of Nuno's girls�

Eddie Sensation - HIS BITCHES!

The Informer - OH MY GOODNESS� Nuno has a mop! He's going to take Nomad's head off with that mop!

Vic Canon - WHAM! JESUS CHRIST!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!!! HOLY CRAP!!! "HOT DAMN" JUST NAILED NOMAD WITH A HOT DAMN VICIOUS SHOT TO THE HEAD WITH THE BROOM!

The Informer - Hey! We understand this is no holds bared! How can you have rules in a Hair Salon!

Vic Canon - LOOK AT EVERYONE! ALL THE WOMEN WHO WERE SITTING UNDER THOSE HAIR DRIERS ARE TAKING OFF IN FEAR OF THEIR LIVES!

Eddie Sensation - Nuno has Nomad on the floor! He's choking him out with an electrical extension cord!

The Informer - What an animal Nuno has become!

Vic Canon - LOOK AT NUNO'S WOMEN! THEY'RE HANDING HIM FOREIGN OBJECTS OF ALL SORTS!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAH!! OH GOD!! YEAH!! LOOK� WHAM!!

The Informer - GOOD LORD!!! THAT'S� THAT'S� SHAVING CREAM, RIGHT IN THE EYES OF NOMAD!!

Vic Canon - Nuno's got a game plan here, and he's sticking to it! And so far, he's been able to keep Nomad from any offence!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!! LOOK!! Nitrowalawitz is sitting Nomad down in a chair!! NEXT!! NEXT!! HAHA!! NOMAD, IT'S YOUR TURN!! SIT ON THE CHAIR AND DON'T MOVE� THIS WON'T HURT A BIT!

[Nuno grabs a small hand mirror and sticks it in Nomad's face�]

"Hot Damn Gigolo" Nuno Nitrowalawitz - THERE! Now you look like a million bucks! You look like me! OH� SO� SMOOOOOOOHHHHH AHHHHHHHH!!!!

The Informer - NOMAD HAS NUNO BY THE THROAT!!! NO MORE HUMILIATION HERE!!!

Vic Canon - WE'RE JUST GONNA SEE SERVICE WITH A SMILE FROM NOMAD!!

Eddie Sensation - NO!!! NO!!! NO HITTING IN THE FACE!!! NO HITTING IN THE FACE!!! THAT'S ONE OF THE RULES IN THIS MATCH!

The Informer - NO IT'S NOT, YOU LIAR! Nomad� HAHA, LOOK!!!

[Nomad turns on the hot water in a sink and sticks Nuno's head under it forcefully�]

Nomad - YOU WANT SERVICE, BITCH! COME ON!

"Hot Damn Gigolo" Nuno Nitrowalawitz - AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! IT BURNS!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Vic Canon - Good Lord! HE'S BURNING NUNO!

Eddie Sensation - RINSE AND WASH! TEN DOLLARS!

The Informer - WHAM!! WHAM!! WHAM!! NOMAD IS LETTING LOOSE ON THE GIGOLO WITH SOME VICIOUS RIGHT HANDS!

Vic Canon - Keep in mind, the EWA International Title is on the line!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT'S THE IDIOT DOING NOW??? WHAT'S THAT IN HIS HAND???

The Informer - Some sort of utensil� some device� I'm not sure�

Vic Canon - Hey! I know that! My wife uses one! THAT'S A CRIMPING IRON!

Eddie Sensation - A WHAT!?!?

The Informer - A CRIMPING IRON! It's like a pair of tongs in the kitchen� but you use it to grab your hair and make it wavy!

Vic Canon - AND IT'S HOT! THAT THING IS STEAMING HOT!

Nomad - COME HERE! COME GET SOME SERVICE!!

[Nomad clamps the crimping iron onto the testicles of Nuno�]

Eddie Sensation - NO!!!! NO!!!!!! WHAT IS HE, NUTS???

"Hot Damn Gigolo" Nuno Nitrowalawitz - AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

The Informer - HE'S GOT A CRIMPING HOLD OF NUNO'S NUTS! I MEAN TESTICLES!!!!

Vic Canon - CAN YOU SAY THIRD DEGREE BURNS???

Eddie Sensation - STOP THIS!!! WHAT DOES HE WANT TO DO?? MAKE NUNO IMPOTENT???

The Informer - HE RELEASES THE GRECO-ROMAN CRIMPING LOCK! What could he possible have next??

Vic Canon - UH OH! One of "Hot Dam Gigolo's" girl's is getting into the face if Nuno!

Eddie Sensation - OH! WHAM!! HAHAHA! SHE SLAPPED THAT GOTHIC PUNK RIGHT IN THE FACE!

The Informer - Well, it's obvious she wasn't the class valedictorian!

Vic Canon - OH! BUT THAT GIVES NUNO JUST ENOUGH TIME TO KNOCK NOMAD DOWN WITH A VICIOUS FOREARM!

Eddie Sensation - HA! And you said she's not smart!

The Informer - Nuno's got a hold of Nomad's hair! Where is he brining him??

Vic Canon - This is a rather spacious facility! Let's just hope no one gets burned again!

Eddie Sensation - Unless it's Nomad!

The Informer - GOODNESS! NUNO JUST SENT NOMAD HEAD FIRST INTO THAT DOOR!

[The door reads "Storage Room"�]

Vic Canon - OH NO! They're going into the Storage Room! Anything could be in there!

Eddie Sensation - YEAH! EXACTLY! Nuno has a bottle of something!

The Informer - WHAT IS IT? WHAT IS IT??

Vic Canon - OH MY GOD!!! AQUA VELVA!!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!!! AQUA VELA!!! AFTER SHAVE, RIGHT IN THE EYES OF NOMAD!!! IT'S OVER RIGHT THERE!!! THAT CRAP BURNS!!!

The Informer - MY GOD DOES IT EVER!!!

Vic Canon - HE COULD BE BLINDED!! NOMAD'S TITLE REIGN IS IN SOME SERIOUS QUESTION RIGHT NOW!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK AT HIM! HE'S THROWING PUNCHES LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW!! BUT HE CAN'T SEE ANYTHING!!

The Informer - OH OH! AND LOOK! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS??

Vic Canon - Ohhh, how sweet! One of Nuno's women is checking him out! Making sure his hair is straight� and that he's got no marks on his face!

Eddie Sensation - HEY! This dude of from Hot Damn Beach, California! He's used to this kind of service! Lord knows nobody looks like Nomad on Hot Damn Beach!

The Informer - HOT DAMN BEACH ISN'T EVEN ON THE MAP! WHAT ARE YOU WALKING ABOUT?!?!?

Vic Canon - UH OH! NOMAD IS PISSED!!!

[Nomad lets out a huge scream and bolts towards Nuno and his girl! Without vision, Nomad spears both Nuno and his girl right into a shelf which tips over and causes a chain reaction with a few other shelves�]

Eddie Sensation - OH MY GOD!!!!!!! LOOK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!

The Informer - HOLY CRAP!!!!! THIS IS INSANE!!!!

Vic Canon - JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHT!!! NOMAD JUST TOOK OUT 2 PEOPLE WITH BLIND RAGE!!!! LITERALLY!!!

Eddie Sensation - THE COVER! THE COVER!!

The Informer - 1���� 2���� 3!!!! NOMAD DOES IT!!! HE RETAINS THE TITLE!!!!

Vic Canon - MY GOD, BUT AT WHAT COST!!! WE'VE GOT THREE PEOPLE LAID OUT!!! NONE OF THEM ARE MOVING!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT A BRUTE! WHAT AN ANIMAL! HE ATTACKED AN INNOCENT GIRL!

The Informer - EDDIE, IT'S OBVIOUS THAT HE DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE! He was blinded for God's sake!

Vic Canon - This match started out all jokes, but it left some serious implications! I just hope none of these people are hurt badly!

[The camera breaks away to a shot of the main room where Nuno and Nomad were fighting earlier� to a shot of a person sitting under a huge blow drier chair reading a newspaper. The person drops the newspaper, and lifts the big blow dryer of his head, and it turns out to be�]

Eddie Sensation - WHAT THE HECK?? THURSTON HOWELL!! "THE PSYCHO" THURSTON HOWELL IS BACK!!!

The Informer - HUH?? WE HAVEN'T SEEN HIM IN WEEKS!! WHAT'S HE DOING IN THE HAIR SALON??

[Thurston Howell casually stands up, and with a smile on his face, unclips the EWA International Title off the coat hanger, and walks out with it�]

Vic Canon - WHERE'S HE GOING?? HEY!! THAT'S NOT YOUR BELT!!! THAT BELT BELONGS TO NOMAD!!

Eddie Sensation - YOU WANNA BE THE ONE TO TELL HIM THAT??

The Informer - I don't understand! "The Psycho" Thurston Howell comes back, out of nowhere� and he steals Nomad's belt! WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS!

Vic Canon - We'll have to wait until Heat to find out a bit more about that! But right now, I'm worried about Nuno, Nomad and that innocent woman!

Eddie Sensation - Well, what do you expect when Nuno signs a match?? Of course innocent people get hurt!

The Informer - Hahaha.. Well, we'll keep you fans updated on this situation... but now, we've got to send it backstage!

Hacker - Tom Stone, do I have any last words for you? Do I look like I am giving the speech at this man's funeral? Tom Stone, your pain ends tonight because I have a old friend with me that will make sure you don't screw me over tonight.

Rob DiMarco - Do these stipulations change your frame of mind, at all?

Hacker - Of course not, My gameplan is to make sure that Stone can't get out of the Cage. He can't pin me but I will pin him knock him out.

Rob DiMarco - Over to you Rachel!

["Counterfeit" by Limp Bizkit blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 7' and weighing in at 331 pounds, from Detroit, Michigan, Hacker!

[Hacker steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - Here comes Hacker! And damn, he looks pissed!

Vic Canon - Well, what do you expect?! He's been screwed around with for the last month by the owner of this company! He has a right to be pissed!

Eddie Sensation - Vic, you should be the leader of a Woman's right's group... you suit the job perfectly!

The Informer - HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

[The EWA Theme blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, the Owner of the EWA, Tom Stone!

[Tom Stone steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - LOOK AT THE LOOK ON STONE'S FACE!!!!

Vic Canon - DAMN! I'm in fear of my life here! Who pissed in his corn flakes?!

Eddie Sensation - Shut up Vic, that's old.

The Informer - Wow! I can't beleive this! Stone is actually entering the ring, instead of being the normal chicken shit that he is!

Vic Canon - There's the bell! And the Cage is lowering!

Eddie Sensation - HAHA!! LOOK AT MY BOY, TOM STONE! HE'S PUNCHING AND KICKING HACKER IN THE STOMACH AND SHINS! BUT HACKER ISN'T BUDGING AT ALL!

The Informer - Hahaha! This is some hilarious stuff! Hacker grabs Stone by the throat, and lifts him up high! CHOKESLAM!! NO!!! OOOH!!!! STONE WITH A RAKE TO THE EYE, AND ON HIS WAY DOWN, HE CAUGHT HACKER WITH A DDT!!!

Vic Canon - WOW!! GREAT MOVE BY STONE!!! And now he's trying to climb out of the cage!! And he's making good progress, but Hacker is up on his feet!

Eddie Sensation - NO!! LOOK OUT STONE!!!

The Informer - OOOOH!!! POWERBOMB OFF THE SIDE OF THE CAGE!!! STONE WENT DOWN, HARD!!!

Vic Canon - DAMN!!! LISTEN TO THIS CROWD REACTION!!!!! THEY'RE LOVING HACKER!!!!

Eddie Sensation - That, or they hate Stone!

The Informer - Probably both! Hacker is lifting Stone to his feet... OH!!! OH NO!!! POWDER TO THE EYES OF HACKER!!! STONE NAILED HIM IN THE EYES WITH SOME TYPE OF POWDER!!!!

Vic Canon - And now Stone is making a break for the cage! He's trying to get the hell out of here! And he might be successful! Hacker is rubbing his eyes, trying to regain his sight! Meanwhile, Stone is at the top of the cage!

Eddie Sensation - HEY!! LOOK!! WHO THE HELL IS THAT?!?!

The Informer - THATS BRY2K!!!!! BRYAN ALLEN IS HERE IN THE EWA!!!!

Vic Canon - WHO?!?! WHAT??? DID I MISS SOMETHING?!?!

Eddie Sensation - BRY2K IS CLIMBING THE CAGE!!! HE'S MEETING STONE AT THE TOP!!!

The Informer - STONE DOESN'T SEE HIM COMING!! HE'S IN FOR A BIG SURPRISE!!!

Vic Canon - HAHAH!! STONE JUST GAVE HACKER THE DOUBLE BIRD, AND NOW HE'S TRYING TO CLIMB DOWN THE CAGE! BUT BRYAN ALLEN IS THERE!

Eddie Sensation - WHAM!!!! OH MAN!!!! BRY2K JUST NAILED STONE WITH A LOW BLOW, AND STONE STUMBLED BACK INTO THE RING!! THAT'S CHEATING!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!

The Informer - BRYAN ALLEN IS NOW LOOKING UNDER THE RING FOR SOMETHING.... WAIT A MINUTE, HE'S GOT SOMETHING! WHAT IS IT??!!

Vic Canon - ITS.... ITS.... ITS WIRE CUTTERS!!! AND BRYAN ALLEN IS CUTTING A HOLE IN THE SIDE OF THE CAGE!!!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT?!?! FOR WHAT?!?! FOR WHO?!?! I DONT LIKE THIS GUY!!!

The Informer - Hacker is still down from that powder in the eyes! He's trying to regain eyesight, but is having trouble! Stone got him good!

Vic Canon - But Stone is also out cold in the ring!

Eddie Sensation - Hey, look! Bry2K cut a circle out of the cage! And now he's getting into the ring!

The Informer - Bry2K is whispering something to Hacker... I guess he's telling him that it's his friend, Bryan Allen, and not Stone!

Vic Canon - Bry2K is bringing Hacker to his feet, and escorting him to that hole in the cage!

Eddie Sensation - NO!!! THIS IS CHEATING DAMMIT!!!!

The Informer - And HACKER IS OUT!!! HACKER HAS DONE IT, THANKS TO BRYAN ALLEN!!

Chris Myers - And the winner of this match, Hacker!

Vic Canon - Well, Hacker has done it! The fact that he had help is irrelivant!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT?! HOW DO YOU FIGURE?!?! STONE HAD THE MATCH WON!!!! HE WAS OUT OF THE CAGE DAMMIT!

The Informer - Calm down Eddie! Hold on... I think we're getting that Extreme Title Match back! YES! Here we go!

Eddie Sensation - DAMN! How the hell did that happen?!

The Informer - How the hell should we know?! We've seen just as much as you have!

Vic Canon - Yeah, you idiot!

Eddie Sensation - Well you're the smart ass with the "backstage hook-ups"!! So BLOW M--

The Informer - EDDIE! WATCH YOUR MOUTH! The Hustler has The Wildman by the hair, and he's dragging him along! I guess The Hustler took those handcuffs off the Wildman!

Vic Canon - I guess so! They're almost impossible to break out of!

Eddie Sensation - I guess that 24 hours did pay off! The Hustler has been kickin' his ass the entire time!

The Informer - Yep! I told you it would pay off! Hey, look at that! They're on the fourth floor of jail cells... you can see straight to the bottom! There's only a railing seperating them and a four storey drop!!

Vic Canon - OH NO!!! THE HUSTLER MUST HAVE HEARD THAT OR SOMETHING, HE'S TRYING TO PUSH THE WILDMAN OVER THE EDGE, AND FOUR STOREY'S DOWN!!!

Eddie Sensation - HE'S CRAZY!!! HE COULD KILL HIM!!!

The Informer - NOOO!!!! THERE GOES THE WILDMAN!!! HE'S OVER THE TOP!!! WAIT, LOOK!!! HE'S HOLDING ON BY ONE HAND!!! AND THE HUSTLER SEE"S HIM!! HE'S LAUGHING!!!

Vic Canon - OH NO!! DONT TELL ME THE HUSTLER IS GOING TO STEP ON HIS HAND, FORCING HIM TO FALL FOUR STOREYS!!!!

Eddie Sensation - LOOKS LIKE IT!!!!!

The Informer - WAIT A MINUTE.... LOOK AT THAT!!! THE HUSTLER HAS SET UP 3 STACKED TABLES!!! HE'S PLANNING TO DROP THE WILDMAN FOUR STOREY'S, THROUGH THE TABLES!!!

Vic Canon - THAT'S GOING TO HURT!!!!

Eddie Sensation - WELL, IT'S BETTER THEN LANDING ON CONCRETE!!!

The Informer - Thats for sure! WAIT A MINUTE... WHO'S THAT??!?!?! LOOK OUT!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!! NO!!!

Vic Canon - OH MY GOD!!!! THE HUSTLER JUST WENT CRASHING THROUGH THOSE TABLES, FOUR STOREY'S BELOW!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - WHO DID IT?!?! WHO IS THAT GUY?!?!

The Informer - I HAVE NO IDEA!!!! WAIT A MINUTE.... I KNOW WHO IT IS.... THATS.... THATS MASTA RED!!!!! MASTA RED JUST THREW THE HUSTLER DOWN FOUR STOREYS, THROUGH THREE TABLES!!!! MY GOD!!!! HE COULD BE DEAD!!!!

Vic Canon - AND NOW MASTA RED IS HELPING THE WILDMAN UP!!!

Eddie Sensation - SHHH... LISTEN TO WHAT HE'S SAYING....

Masta Red - Follow me... I'll get ya outta here...

The Informer - WHAT?!?! HE KNOWS THE EXIT?!?! WHY IS MASTA RED HELPING THE WILDMAN?!?! HOW DOES HE KNOW THE EXIT?!?!

["Song 2" by Blur plays faintly over the EWA Speakers. Up on the EWA Big Screen, the screen splits vertically in two, two blurred faces suddenly come into focus ... its none other than Cody Covington and Divine, still shots of both. C4 is on the left and has the look of a killer on his face, Divine is to the right and tears are coming from his eyes. A fancy logo revolves at the bottom and eventually stops, it reads......

The line that is separating the two still shots slowly dissolves.... Song 2 cuts off ... and "Glory of Love" by Peter Cetera plays loudly over the speakers as the fans in attendance look on puzzled.....]

[Cody is laying in bed next to GeniPher, cuddling of course, while in Divine's bedroom he rolls over and stares blankly at the missing space on his bed....]

[Divine rolls over onto Tito's side of the bed and reaches into Tito's dresser.... ]

[Divine pulls out a huge double-ended dildo from Tito's drawer. He holds it close to his face as a tear streams down. He raises it high into the air.... ]

[Divine, still holding the dildo, starts to cry uncontrollably. He holds the dildo to his face again, and then flops it right into his mouth and begins to suck on it.... crying at the same time. ]

Tom Stone - What was that? I don't like you, I'm not going to hide that you little spic....I never did like you....you guys are both on thin ice! I didn't have to let you back but I did...and how do you pay me back? You rape children on my television show, you shock the nipples of a former EWA Champion, and worst of all....good God....you...you desecrated my car!!

[Tito skips into the arena as Tom Stone orders Divine around some more. Tito turns the corner and walks into the janitors room. He looks around for some sponges then suddenly gets swept up into the air. Tito screams as he realizes he's caught in a large net! Ronny Garbage and Mikey Basulto pop out from around the corner and begin to laugh.]

Ronny Garbage - Got ya know you wet back!!

Mikey Basulto - HEY!!

Ronny Garbage - Sorry Mikey....let's get this piece of shit to Cody...on the double!!

Mikey Basulto - Wait a minute...I want to have some fun with this little bastard....

[Mikey Basulto grabs a mop and begins to poke Tito with it. Change, condoms, and a bus pass all fall out of Tito's pockets as well as a few feminine hygiene products. Basulto and Garbage then carefully take the net down and drag Tito away. Tito emits a high pitched, woman like scream and Divine senses it. Garbage and Basulto begin to tie the net holding Tito to the bumper of their beat up car..... Garbage goes into the car but Basulto stays back....]

Mikey Basulto - This isn't right! Just look at him! He looks like a defenseless animal.....

Ronny Garbage - C'MON MIKEY! WE HAVE ORDERS!!

[Mike sticks his tongue out and then frees Tito from the bag, as Tito tries to scurry away The Big Gay grabs his hair and the trunk of the car pops open ... inside the trunk is a Rocking Horse! Mike try's to set the little Mex on the horse but he is just struggling too much, Mike gets frustrated and pushes him to the ground.....]

Mikey Basulto - (Yelling) RONNY! BACK THE CAR UP A LITTLE!

[The car backs over Tito's foot, his eyes roll in the back of his head but when he goes to scream Mike covers his mouth, he finally sets Tito on top of the horse and handcuffs his arms to the bottom of the horse and then attaches the rocking horse to the bumper of the car.....]

Ronny Garbage - What is the point of that??

Mikey Basulto - Tito must be his own person, he must shine on his own! Do you realize how many times Divine must've rode Tito around like this, now its his turn ... lets go....

Tito - EEEEEK!!!! MISTRESS DIVINE!!!!!

Divine - TITO!!!!!!!

[As Divine turns the bend Tito can be seen being dragged away by Basulto and Garbage's car. Divine runs by cant keep up with the car. He throws the sponge then hangs his head in agony as his sex slave has been kidnapped by Cody's bitches.]

Divine - Tito....I will find you!!!

[Tom Stone suddenly grabs Divine by the hair and drags him back to the his car.]

Mikey Basulto - Are you sure they are ready?

Ronny Garbage - I know you have no experience with this subject, unless you got the other "brand." But, they are ALWAYS ready when the price is right.... I'll go in the room and check to see if everything is..... allright. You take the little spic of the Horse....

Mikey Basulto - HEY!

Ronny Garbage - OH YEAH! Your a filthy mexican too! Looks like you two have two things in common now.....

[TBG waves his hand at Ronny as if shooing him away and then goes to untie Tito, who looks to be really frightened....]

Mikey Basulto - Settle down Tito.... we are doing this for your own good.... just go in there, and Ronny will show you the ropes.... that little pervert is an expert.....

[Mike releases Tito and grabs him by his neck.... leading him into Motel Room.... the camera zooms into the room to reveal three prostitute looking girls, wearing very little, with smiles across their cock sucking faces. The Big Gay's eyes grow wide, he leaves the room and slams the door behind him...]

The Informer - Look at the look on Covington's face!! Divine is still laughing! How crazy is Divine? He doesn't even know when to fear for his life!!

Vic Canon - Covington looks like he's had a nervous breakdown! It looks like he hasn't shaved in days, and that video with the kids.... I think it sent him over the edge!!

The Informer - OH GOD.... He's winding up with that bat!!! If he hits Divine in the head, he'll kill him!!!

Vic Canon - Cody just dropped the bat!!! ...what's with this?! Cody really must be going insane!!! He's laughing like a maniac!!

The Informer - I think Vic's right! He's gone off the deep end!! Now he is whistling...

Vic Canon - WHOA! Its GeniPher! She has brought the ASSets back to the EWA!

The Informer - And she has a little pink squirt gun filled with something!!

Vic Canon - Well, whatever it is... she is using it to squirt Divine in the... well, in the nuts!

The Informer - What could be the meaning of this?!?!

Cody Covington - (Yelling) YOU LIKE RAPING KIDS, DON'T YOU BUDDY?!? PALLY?!? FRIEND?!? WITH THE HELP OF GENIPHER, I WILL NOW PUT AN END TO THAT!!!!!

[Cody Covington reaches into his coat jacket and pulls out a little torch. He holds it up to Divine's groin.]

Cody Covington - You think this will feel good?!? WILL YOU ENJOY IT DIVINE?!?!? WILL YOU CREAM IN YOUR F*CKING PANTS?!?!?!?!?!

Divine - Well, if your going to torch my testicles then why not have a barbecue! Hey Gen, go get the hot sauce!

The Informer - NO!! DON'T DO IT CODY!!

Vic Canon - OH.... MY..... NOOO!! HE DID IT!!!

[The camera mosaics the scene of the flaming testicles...]

Cody Covington - (Laughing insanely...) You like that?!? HUH?!?!

[Cody picks up the bat and cracks it across Divine's face.]

[ Divine is wiping tears from his eyes as he looks over Tom Stone's car. It is shining brightly. Out of nowhere the beat up car that took Tito before pulls up and throws Tito out of the car, sending him landing on his ass... hard. Divine runs up to Tito who is actually wearing NORMAL clothes and has lipstick imprints all over his face. Mike Basulto and Ronny Garbage get up from their seats in the car and begin to pelt Tom Stone's car with eggs! They laugh hysterically as Ronny gets back inside the car and peels out....]

Divine - Tito, are you okay?? What did they do to you?!? TITO!

[Tito stands up and brushes himself off. "Kung-Fu Fighting" by the BeeGee's starts to play out of nowhere as Tito does a split. Divine looks on with pleasure....]

Divine - YES! FLEXIBILITY IS THE KEY TITO!

[Divine tries to kiss Tito but he runs ahead and walks away.... almost strutting. Divine's eyes swell with tears as he looks at Tito walking away, and then at the car that he spent nearly two hours cleaning.....]

Divine - ENOUGH! Its one thing to mess with me, but when you mess with my Tito.... your going TOO FAR!! Cody, I KNOW you were behind this! These games have gone far enough.... at the PPV.... we will FINISH IT! I don't know what you did to my baby, but It seems to me that you are trying to get some of his tasty tortilla testicles... but I WON'T LET YOU! That's why I am challenging you, Cody Covington for this Sunday at the PPV.... with the love of my life... Tito involved. How about this..... I know how much he loves to play hide and go seek so how about me and you look for him, he hides anywhere in the building and the first man to find him is the winner! And whoever does find him.... can have him, to do whatever they please.....

[The scene fades to static ... and then cuts to a backstage area where Rob DiMarco can be seen standing there. ]

Cody Covington - Divine called all of this on himself. After the things he did to me, you really think I'd just accept them, and let him off scotch free? Hell no, that isn't like me at all. I'm not Divine's personal bitch, I'm not here to provide his sick, demented mind with pleasure. HE TOOK THE RESPONSIBILITY OF RUINING MY CAREER! NOW I WILL RETURN THE FAVOR! He knew very well how important that match was to me, I had the shot ... the one world title shot that I needed to get this scarred mind frame of being the shortest reigning EWA World Champion ever. You know how bad that makes me look? HORRIBLE! So I did things to Divine that were horrible in return ... Disabling his testicles ... enabling him from raping another human being ... and the worst of it all ... stealing his little boyfriend away from him ... turning him into a bisexual! And that's how low I can go, Divine has no other friends to turn to ... what "straight" man wants to hang out with a guy who paints their toe nails and takes a piss sitting down? NONE. I took Divine's one friend in the world and turned him against him ... and damn, it felt good! Seeing Divine's tears as Tito walked away from him, and then even better having his hard work on cleaning Stone's car pointless.

Rob DiMarco - Do you feel at a disadvantage because Tito's relationship with Divine??

Cody Covington - A relationship? You seen Tuesday Night Heat DiMarco, you saw Tito walk away from Divine.... do you believe that two people in a relationship would act in that way?

Rob DiMarco - No....

Cody Covington - EXACTLY! Divine ... you pushed the limits ... and I went beyond them ... tonight we may see the emotional breakdown of Divine ... because when C4 hits you, your world will be BL�WN ~ APART!

Rob DiMarco - Over to you Rachel!

Divine - Hmmmm Rachel....I'm kind of speechless right now...and spicless!! Tito has been taken from me Rachel....TITO!!! Can you believe it?? I thought he was one my true soulmate and now look where I am....alone again. Tonight I'm on a quest Rachel. This is no ordinary match, where Cody and myself would beat the crap out of each other, we have to find Tito!! This is no easy task because Tito is quite small and can fit into most suitcases and small areas!! But somewhere out there....beneath the pale blue sky....Tito is waiting for me....and when I find him....I will make him mine again!!! Cody Covington has done something that no man should ever, EVER do, and that is play with Divine's emotions. Everything else that I did to Cody Covington before tonight has been childs play. The nipple electrocution, the child molestation, the tea-bagging of his coffee....

Rachel Stevens - Whoa! Hold on a second. Did you say you "tea-bagged" Cody's coffee??

Divine - Dont ever interrupt me again Rachel, you rude little bitch. Just remember, the EWA cameras arent always running. Now where was I....Oh yeah, Cody Covington made this personal, NOT ME!!!

Rachel Stevens - How can you say that Divine, when you were the one who instigated all of this? You were the one who video taped Cody Covington in the shower and sleeping in his own home! That is a serious crime!

Divine - I may have taken a few trips inside his house when he wasnt home....there's nothing wrong with that! It wasnt like I took his only friend! I know this might come as a huge shock to you Rachel....but I'm not the most popular guy backstage....

Rachel Stevens - [Sarcastically] No Way!

Divine - Yes Rachel....Tito was my....my companion...now I...I have no one....

Rachel Stevens - Do you feel at an advantage, because of Tito's relationship with you?

Divine - What a splendid question Rachel!! I think I do have a little bit of an advantage, because deep down inside of Tito, where I have rammed my cock quite a few times mind you, Tito is still gay!!! Once you have a cock in your caboose you're never the same!! Tito can act like he has a craving for vagina now...but the moment I come eye to eye with him when I find Tito, wherever he may be, HE WILL KNOW WHO IS TRUE DADDY IS!!!!

Rachel Stevens - Well goodluck Divine, back to you guys at ringside!

["My Own Summer (Shove It)" by Deftones blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by GeniPher, standing 6'6" and weighing in at 283 pounds, from Miami, Florida, "Crystal Clear" Cody Covington!

[GeniPher and "Crystal Clear" Cody Covington step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

Vic Canon - My God Cody looks intense! This match isn't going to be anything technical or fancy, this is going to be a straight up all out fight!

The Informer - I just hope Cody is ready for what Divine has in store for him...

Vic Canon - Are you serious? I think Divine should be the one who is worried here!

Eddie Sensation - HaHa!!! Look at that fan with the Tom Stone mask on taunting Cody Covington on the entrance way!! I love it when they do that!!

Vic Canon - Well Cody Covington did hit a fan a few weeks ago so I doubt that anyone should taunt C4 considering the mind state he's been in as of late....

The Informer - EWA officials had a long talk with Cody about that and I don't think it will happen again. Cody should just keep on walking, I dont even know why he's taking time to stop and argue with this idiot wearing a Tom Stone mask....

Eddie Sensation - Since when the hell does the EWA make Tom Stone masks?!?

The Informer - WHAT THE HELL?? THAT FAN JUST SPRAYED MACE IN CODY COVINGTON'S EYES!!!

Vic Canon - Someone get security over there!! The fan is coming over the barricade!!

The Informer - Wait a minute....oh no....wait just a damn minute!!! That's no fan....IT'S DIVINE!!!!

Eddie Sensation - I should've known!! If anyone would have a Tom Stone mask, it would be Divine!!!

Vic Canon - This match hasn't even started yet and Cody looks to be injured badly. These men have to get it in the ring first for the bell to ring, after that they can do whatever the hell they want.

Eddie Sensation - HAHA!! Divine just kicked Cody right in the balls!!

Vic Canon - Divine is such a dirty, underhanded fighter it's not even funny. I don't think I've ever seen one damn match where he didn't use some type of attack to the testicular region...

The Informer - Divine has Covington by the hair now and is dragging him to the ring....Ok!! There's the bell and the match is underway. My God, look at Covington's eyes....they're all red and swollen.

Vic Canon - Look at this replay fans and I think we all should've seen that the man in the Tom Stone mask was Divine....

Eddie Sensation - How could you tell it was Divine?!?

Vic Canon - Just look at the replay....

[The screen splits from the Live action to the replay of Divine macing Covington. Divine, still wearing the Tom Stone mask, reaches into a purse and pulls out the mace.]

Eddie Sensation - HE HAD A PURSE!!! HAHA!!

The Informer - The signs were there...we all missed it...

Vic Canon - But the real story is in the ring....my God listen to Covington scream as Divine gouges his eyes!! Divine is burying those fingers deep into the already injured eyes of Covington, and the former EWA World Champion looks to be reeling now....

The Informer - Divine picks up Covington and sends him off the ropes....Divine ducks....

Vic Canon - OH!! Cody just kicked Divine right in the throat and I think he just bought himself some much needed time to catch his breath as Divine gasps for air.

Eddie Sensation - I don't know who to cheer for in this match....Cody Covington is such a little pretty boy....but I just cant bring myself to support a man who craves other men's penis's!!!

Vic Canon - I know where you're coming from Eddie...but Cody us up and he's exiting the ring? Where's he going...he's coming over here!!!

The Informer - Run!!!

[The EWA Announce Team evacuates the announcing area as Covington stumbles onto the table. and begins to scream.]

Cody Covington - Water!!! I need water!!!

[Vic Cannon takes his bottle of water and pours it into Cody's eyes.]

Eddie Sensation - HEY!! You're interfering in an EWA match!! Stone will have your ass for that!!

Vic Canon - I'm not going to let a man who is blinded get assaulted by a homosexual!!

Eddie Sensation - You're right!!!

[Eddie Sensation dumps a whole picture of water on Cody Covington's head.]

Eddie Sensation - Go get him Cody!!!

The Informer - LOOK OUT!!!

[Divine jumps from the apron of the ring onto Cody Covington's back which sends Cody through the announcer's table. The announce team loses their connection momentarily but quickly gets their headsets working again.]

Vic Canon - Can you hear me?

The Informer - Yes I can hear you Vic!!

Eddie Sensation - This is insane!! Both of them are out cold!!! Look at them...they're just laying there....poke them Informer!!

The Informer - I'll check on Cody...but Stone doesn't pay me enough to poke Divine!!!

Vic Canon - Divine just leapt from the ring onto Cody Covington and sent C4 through the announcers table. Now going through the table is bad enough, but imagine going through the table with a 300 plus pound man on your back!!

Divine - Are you saying I'm fat Victor?!?

Eddie Sensation - Divine's awake!!! RUN FOR IT!!!!

[This time the EWA Announce Team flees all the way to the other side of the ring. Divine picks up Cody Covington and throws him into the ring post. Cody's head hits hard and Divine begins to stumble towards the backstage area as The announce team takes their position once again.]

Vic Canon - Ladies and gentlemen, I've ran from wrestlers about to crash through our announce tables, and I've ran from competitors who were brawling too close to us....but I think I speak for Eddie and Informer when I say that I have never ran from the position faster than when Divine just awoke!!

Eddie Sensation - Amen to that!! Thank God he's gone!!

The Informer - Divine is halfway up the aisle and Cody is just starting to move. These fans are strongly behind Cody here!! Just listen to this place, that "C4" chant is deafening!!!

Vic Canon - Yes, I don't think the EWA has ever been to a city that Divine has been a fan favorite....and I hope to God we never will!!!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK!! Cody's getting up!!! HE WENT UP THE AISLE CODY!!!

The Informer - While Cody Covington gets to his feet we've got camera crews back stage to cover Divine's hunt for Tito.....remember fans, if Divine find Tito he wins this match!!

Vic Canon - Where's Divine heading....

Eddie Sensation - THE MEN'S ROOM!!! EVACUATE!!!!

[Divine enters the men's room as the camera man follows him...]

Divine - TITO!!!!

Man [Who is taking a piss] - JESUS CHRIST!!!! IT'S DIVINE!!!!!

Vic Canon - That's a wise move!!! Those men got the hell out of Dodge!!

The Informer - One of them didn't even zip up!! The censors will definitely have fun editing this one for home video!!

Vic Canon - Yes, don't be surprised if this match is not shown on the replay this Tuesday fans....

Eddie Sensation - Look!! Divine's checking the stalls!! Dear God I hope no one's taking a shit!! He would be wide open for a serious Divine attack!!!

Divine - DEAR GOD!!! DON'T YOU PEOPLE KNOW HOW TO FLUSH?!? LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT TIRD!!!

The Informer - Divine kicks open the handicap stall ... and....

Eddie Sensation - NOO!! Mike Basulto is in their taking a dump!

Divine - Wrong Spic....

Vic Canon - OH!! It's Cody Covington!! Cody just nailed Divine from behind with that plunger!!!

Eddie Sensation - Mike Basulto is high tailing it outta there!

The Informer - That plunger broke right over the back of Divine and the gay man looks to be out cold on the bathroom floor!!

Eddie Sensation - Oh no!! NO!! I hope Cody isn't going to do what I think he is.....

Vic Canon - Cody picks Divine up by his hair and.....

Eddie Sensation - SWIRLY!!! COVINGTON IS DUNKING DIVINE'S HEAD INTO THAT SHIT FILLED TOILET!!!!

Vic Canon - My stomach is turning right now.....I don't know about you guys but I resent this!! Tom Stone pays us to call wrestling matches....not....two men giving each other swirly's!!!

Eddie Sensation - Wait a minute...Divine just took some of that shit out of the toilet and Cody didn't see....EWW!!

The Informer - Divine just rubbed that shit right in Cody Covington's face and Covington looks like he's about to throw up!!

Vic Canon - Look at Divine scurry out of the bathroom like a little girl!!

The Informer - But Covington is hot on his tail....and Divine must like that!!

Eddie Sensation - Divine is walking down the hallway...look at that shit on his face!!! Isn't he going to wipe it off??

Vic Canon - He's probably used to it Eddie!!

The Informer - Divine just ducked into a room...I didn't catch what it said on the doorway.....

Vic Canon - Here comes C4...he's following Divine right into the....THE MEN'S LOCKER ROOM!!!!

Eddie Sensation - NO!!!!

Vic Canon - For those of you at home who don't know, Divine IS forced to change in his own locker room, due to the fact that none of the other guys want to get naked in front of him....but he's in there now!!

Divine - TITO!!!!! TITO!!!! WHERE ARE YOU?!?!? Ti.....toh MY GOD!!!! LOOK AT ALL THESE FRESH ASSES!!!

[A group of jobbers are taking a shower and don't notice Divine.]

Divine - Good God...I'm in heaven!!!

Vic Canon - Oh No!! We're going to get kicked off Pay-Per-View if he fucks a room full of up and comers on television!!!

Eddie Sensation - Up and comers....hee hee...

The Informer - You sicko!!

Vic Canon - Wait a minute!! There's Cody Covington!! He scoops Divine up from behind and....DAMN!! He just slammed him right through a bench in the shower room!!!

The Informer - Yes, and all the commotion has finally alerted those young wrestlers....

Jobber - Hey!! Cody Covington!! What's up man??

Cody Covington - [Trying to catch his breath] R....Run!! RUN!!!

Jobber - Wha....DIVINE!!!! FAG ALERT!!! FAG ALERT!!! FAG IN THE SHOWER!!!!!

[All of the jobbers scramble out of the shower as Cody picks Divine up once again.]

The Informer - Cody has Divine up now and....OH!! He just rammed Divine's head into the locker!!

Vic Canon - Cody pulls Divine out and throws him into the shower. HE'S TURNING ON THE COLD WATER!!!

Eddie Sensation - Divine's dick is shrinking before our eyes!!!

The Informer - AND YOU'RE LOOKING!!!

Eddie Sensation - I wasn't!!! I...I....SHUT UP!!

Vic Canon - Cody is now exiting the locker room to try and find Tito. Divine is getting up slowly but....HAHA!! DIVINE JUST SLIPPED ON THAT SOAP AND HIT HIS HEAD!!!

The Informer - Cody has a huge advantage now and needs to use it!! Cody's now in the hallway and is checking every nook and cranny of this arena to find Tito....There's a limo....Cody's looking inside of it....

Vic Canon - Uh Oh!! Look in the background guys, Divine is coming out of the men's locker room....but he's trying not to let Cody notice he's up....he's ducking in that room across the hallway....

The Informer - Hey, did he just go in the.....

Eddie Sensation - WOMEN'S LOCKER ROOM!!!! YES!!!!!

Vic Canon - Divine is going someplace he never imagined...the women's locker room!!

[Divine walks in and sees countless nude women.]

Divine - EEEK!!! YUCK YUCK YUCK!!! NASTY!!!

[Divine covers his eyes and curls into a little ball in the corner.]

Vic Canon - What the hell is Divine doing?!? He's covering his eyes and hiding!!

The Informer - But looks who's in the center of that large group of women....IT'S TITO!!!!

Eddie Sensation - That idiot Divine!!! The match could be over right now, but he's too disgusted by titties to look up and see Tito!!

Vic Canon - Uh Oh!!! Cody Covington must've heard Divine's cries and his now entering the women's locker room....

The Informer - IT'S OVER!! CODY JUST FOUND TITO!!!

[Divine hears Cody Covington's music start to play and the loud sound of the bell ringing from back inside the arena and looks up.]

Divine - What the....what the hell?!? NO!!! TITO!!! GET AWAY FROM Those....THOSE...BREASTS....

Vic Canon - Oh My God!! Divine is throwing up!!

Eddie Sensation - A female breast is like kryptonite to Divine!!

The Informer - HaHa!! Look at Cody Covington and Tito celebrating with those ladies!!!

Vic Canon - Yes, but I'd hate the ruin the moment here guys...but did you see that look of pure hatred on Divine's face as he crawled out of the door?!? He was pissed!!

Eddie Sensation - Yup!! Looked like it!!

The Informer - Wait a sec... I think we're getting back to that Extreme Title Match! YES!! YES WE ARE!!!

Vic Canon - WAIT A MINUTE.... LOOK!!!! THERE'S MASTA RED AND THE WILDMAN!!!! THEY JUST CLIMBED OUT OF THAT SEWER!!!!! THE WILDMAN WINS!!!!! HE'S THE NEW EWA EXTREME CHAMPION!!!!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT?!?! WHY DID MASTA RED HELP HIM!?!?! HOW DID HE KNOW THE EXIT??

The Informer - WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!! IT'S ALL COMING TO ME NOW!!!!! MASTA RED IS A KNOWN CRIMINAL, RIGHT???

Vic Canon - Right....

Eddie Sensation - Right....

The Informer - HE'S BEEN IN THIS JAIL BEFORE!!!! HE ESCAPED WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER!!! HE KNEW THE EXIT!!!

Vic Canon - OH YEAH!! DAMN, Informer, you're smarter then they say!

Eddie Sensation - So that explains how he got IN!

The Informer - Right! The only way IN, was the way OUT! Which was that secret passage way!

Vic Canon - My god... What a series of events!

Eddie Sensation - What a match! That Jailhouse match was great!

The Informer - Indeed! Well, now we're going to send it backstage to Rob DiMarco, who's with The Brink!

The Brink - You see this Rob... Check this out..

[The camera pans down to a bottle of Dasani water, and then back up to The Brink's smiling face...]

The Brink - Rob.. do you happen to know what that is?

Rob DiMarco - Yeah, it's a..

The Brink - It's my fucking bottle of ANTI-EXHAUSTING WATER! You see.. with this water.. I'm going to go into the "Best Of Five Falls" match, I'm going to leave with five fucking falls, and I'm going to prove that I will do what it takes to get some god damn respect.

Rob DiMarco - Umm, ok! Do you have any clue why Tom Stone chose these stipulations for this match??

The Brink - C'mon guy.. don't you remember what I fucking said the other night? YOU FUCKING INTERVIEWED ME!! I told your ass, I came up with this idea because it's the only way to truly prove who is the better man, WITH or WITHOUT my Dasani water.

Rob DiMarco - So let me get this straight, you're going to win because you're drinking Dasani water?

The Brink - Yeah... you want to try some?

Rob DiMarco - Sure..

[The Brink hands Rob his bottle of water, as Rob takes a large drink. Brink then kicks Rob in the stomach, and drives him to the concrete with a firm DDT!]

The Brink - YOU FEEL LIKE A WINNER YET?!?!

Rob DiMarco - O..o..ove..over... t.. to.. yo..you.. Ra..ch..e...l.

Thorn - Any last words...? Isn't that what they say to people on death row? People that are about to die? Well, Skank... do I look like someone who is about to die?

Rachel Stevens - We-

Thorn - FUCK NO! You see, if you paid more attention to our skill then the size of our packages, then you'd realize that I, not only surpass Brink in skill, but... let's just say... he doesn't have the testicular.. LONGitude like I do. So if you want to ask someone if they have any last words, why don't you go to that whining bitch The Brink, cause I'm not the one about to be put to death.

Rachel Stevens - Do you have any clue why Tom Stone chose these stipulations for this match??

Thorn - Here's what I think of it... last week, probably saturday or so. He was over at your house... and you got to asking for a raise, and he got to wanting something in turn for that raise, you guys did a little of this, a little of that, and one thing lead to another, and you guys were going round for round under the sheets. Well, lacking in both skill and stamina, I'm sure Tom Stone's new nickname is "Quickdraw" and after about the fifth time, you had enough of it... that's right folks... Rachel Stevens was sick of getting fucked! I know... it's a shock to me, but it's the truth. Anyways, after about the fifth time, you told Tom that you'd rather have watched Chris Jericho VS. Hacker in a five fall match then fuck him five more times... and that folks, is how this match came about.

Rachel Stevens - THAT'S NOT TRUE!!! WE NEVER WENT FIVE TIMES!!!

Thorn - Six...?

Rachel Stevens - That's none of your business!!! Uhh...Back to you guys at ringside!

Vic Canon - The first man to get 3 falls will win this match... but it wont be easy to do! Last month at No Fear, these two couldn't even finish their match! Tom Stone had to come out and end it himself!

Eddie Sensation - HA, and we're supposed to wait for one of them to get THREE falls tonight?! YEAH RIGHT!

The Informer - Well, as long as it takes, we'll be here!

Chris Myers - This next match is a special Best of Five Falls Match!

["DescenT" by Fear Factory blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... standing 6'6" and weighing in at 266 pounds, from Charlotte, North Carolina, The Brink!

[The Brink steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

The Informer - And here comes The Brink, the man that was turned on and beaten by his so called "best friend" two weeks ago on Heat!

Vic Canon - And tonight, he gets his shot at revenge!

Eddie Sensation - Hey, I just realized something.. this match is normal rules... meaning DQ's and Count Outs count! No wonder we're going to have 3 falls... these guys won't be able to contain themselves!

The Informer - That's a possibility Eddie...

["The Big Fuck You" by Primer 55 blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... standing 6'1" and weighing in at 201 pounds, from Sacramento, California, Thorn!

[Thorn steps out from behind the curtain with a chair in hand! He's running towards the ring.]

The Informer - OH GREAT! HERE COMES THORN, WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!

Vic Canon - I guess he doesn't realize that using the chair will get him disqualified! Thorn slides in the ring! Brink attacks with a running clothesline, but Thorn ducks it! Both men turn around to face each other, Thorn swings! NO! Brink ducks, and Thorn misses!

Eddie Sensation - DAMN! They're making me dizzy!

The Informer - The Brink bounces off the ropes... Thorn is right there! WHAM!!! OH NO!! THORN JUST NAILED THE BRINK WITH THE CHAIR, RIGHT IN THE HEAD!! THE REF IS CALLING FOR THE BELL!

Chris Myers - The referee has disqualified Thorn, and has awarded the first fall to The Brink!

Vic Canon - Wow! The Brink is already up 1 to nothing! But Thorn isn't done with that chair yet! He's setting up the Brink again! ....WHAM!!! OH MAN!! HE NAILED HIM AGAIN!! BUT FINALLY, THORN THROWS DOWN THE CHAIR!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!!! I LOVE IT!!! THORN IS PSYCHO!!!

The Informer - And he's also stupid! That just cost him the first fall!

Vic Canon - But it also gave him an advantage for the rest of the match! Right now, The Brink isn't moving at all! And he's out cold!

Eddie Sensation - And I think Thorn is looking for another weapon!! He's looking under the ring for something!!

The Informer - Ooh great! Here comes another god damn ladder!! Thorn is obsessed with these things!

Vic Canon - What makes you think that? He's only used it in EVERY match that these two have had! HAHA!!

Eddie Sensation - Vic, shut up, you're not funny.

The Informer - Hahaha! Thorn has the ladder set up in the middle of the ring! And now he's climbing up it! The referee is warning him, and he's telling him to get down! But Thorn isn't listening!

Vic Canon - And look at the Brink! He's still down and out!

Eddie Sensation - Thorn is pretty close to the top!! I dont like the looks of this!!

The Informer - Thorn is signalling to the crowd!! I think he's going to try for a big splash! Or an elbow or leg drop!

Vic Canon - Here he goes! LOOK OUT!!!! OH NO!!!!! MY GOD!!!!! DID YOU HEAR THAT SMACK?!?!?!

Eddie Sensation - THAT WAS CRAZY!!!!!!!

The Informer - THE BRINK REACHED OUT AND GRABBED THE STEEL CHAIR, WHICH WAS LAYING BESIDE HIM, AND PUT IT ON HIS CHEST JUST AS THORN JUMPED! THORN AND THE BRINK BOTH RECEIVED IMPACT FROM THAT STEEL CHAIR, AND THEY'RE BOTH LAYING OUT COLD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!!

Vic Canon - AND FINALLY, THAT STUPID REF IS GETTING RID OF THAT CHAIR! IT'S ABOUT TIME, YOU IDIOT!

Eddie Sensation - Now the ref is counting them out!! HAHA!!! He's at 4!!!

The Informer - One of these guys better get up! Or else they'll BOTH lose a fall, making it 2-1 Brink!

Vic Canon - I think those chair shots that The Brink received messed him up, physically and mentally! He hasn't gotten up since, and doesnt show signs of doing so anytime soon!

Eddie Sensation - The ref is at 8!!!!!! 9.......

The Informer - 10!!! Oh man!! Both the Brink and Thorn have been counted out!!

Chris Myers - Ladies and Gentlemen, both participants have been counted out! Therefore, both men receive a fall over their opponent, making it TWO to ONE in favor of The Brink!

Vic Canon - Wow!! All the Brink needs is one more fall, and it's over! And he hasn't even done ONE offensive move! DAMN!!

Eddie Sensation - Well his offence might start now! He's moving!

The Informer - But look! So is Thorn! Thorn is using the ropes to help him up! He's staggering around...

Vic Canon - Thorn charges at The Brink! Both men collide, and stumble away from each other! Thorn grabs Brink, and whips him into the corner! Thorn follows in with a knee to the stomach! Thorn grabs The Brink, and seats him on the top rope! And now Thorn is pointing to the top of the ladder!

Eddie Sensation - OH NO!! THORN'S GOING TO TRY THAT PSYCHO HURACONRANNA!!!

The Informer - Thorn is climbing up the ladder! But look! The Brink just jumped down from the top rope! He runs to the ropes....

Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!!!!!!! OH MAN!!!!! THE BRINK JUST SHOVED OVER THE LADDER, AND THORN WENT CRASHING TO THE OUTSIDE!!!

Eddie Sensation - MY GOD!!!! I THINK THORN IS DEAD!!!! HE LANDED CHEST FIRST, ACROSS THE GUARD RAIL!!!!

The Informer - And look at The Brink!! He's smiling!! The Brink is smiling at this carnage!!

Vic Canon - This could be it for Thorn! If he gets counted out, that'll make it three falls for The Brink!

Eddie Sensation - That's not going to happen! The Brink is getting out of the ring, and onto the outside!

The Informer - He's got Thorn by the hair, and he's throwing him into the ring! Thorn can't even stand!! He's breathing heavily... he may have a severe chest injury after that big fall!

Vic Canon - Probably! Hey.. look! The Brink is signalling to the crowd for the Downward Plunge!

Eddie Sensation - NO!!! WAKE UP THORN!!!

The Informer - The Brink has Thorn in the corner! He's got him set up!! Listen to this crowd!!!

Vic Canon - The Brink backs off to the other corner.... He takes a running start! .....DOWNWARD PLUNGE!!! HE NAILED IT!!

Eddie Sensation - NOOOOOO!!!!!!!! KICKOUT!! COME ON!!!

The Informer - THIS COULD BE IT!!!! 1....... 2.......

Vic Canon - 3!!!!!!!! YES!!! THE BRINK DID IT!!!!!! HE BEAT THORN THREE FALLS TO ONE!

Chris Myers - And the winner of this match, The Brink!

Eddie Sensation - HOW?!?! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!?!

The Informer - Oh it's possible Eddie! And you're seeing it right before your eyes!

Vic Canon - And now what?? The Brink is on the outside, headed our way!

Eddie Sensation - GOOD!!! LET ME HAVE A PEICE OF HIM!!!

The Informer - Easy Eddie.... Hey, what the?? Ummm... The Brink just took my water!! What the heck?!?!

Vic Canon - Now the Brink is back in teh ring... And he's pouring the water on the face of Thorn! He's trying to revive Thorn!

Eddie Sensation - HA!! And it worked! Thorn is up, and he's holding his chest in pain!

The Informer - What the hell?? The Brink is extending his hand to Thorn! Wow, this is weird!

Vic Canon - AND THORN SHOOK IT!! THEY SHOOK HANDS!!! MY GOD, I CAN'T BELEIVE WE'RE SEEING THIS!!!

Eddie Sensation - And neither can they! Look at them! They're slowly backing away from each other, but they're not taking their eyes off each other for a single second!

The Informer - This is creepy! I never thought I'd see this! HEY, LOOK OUT!!!! WHAM!!!!

Vic Canon - OH GOD!!!! SOMEONE JUST HIT THE BRINK IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A STEEL CHAIR.... HEY, IT'S.... IT'S "TRICKY" TIKI TORTEZ!!!!! HE NAILED BRINK WITH THAT CHAIR!

Eddie Sensation - AND LOOK AT THORN!!! HE'S DOING NOTHING ABOUT IT, OR NOTHING FOR IT!!! HE'S JUST SLOWLY LEAVING THE RING!!

The Informer - HEY, TORTEZ IS ASKING FOR A MIC!!

"Tricky" Tiki Tortez - I told you I was coming, EWA... and now look what happened! The time has come for a whole new revolution... One that includes the likes of me...your untimely hero, the king of wrestling, the immortal of immortalness...Tiki Tortez! Trick or Treat Brink!!!

Vic Canon - WOW!! LISTEN TO THIS CROWD CHEER FOR HIM!! BUT WHY?? WHY DO THEY LIKE HIM SO MUCH?!

Eddie Sensation - BECAUSE THE BRINK IS SCUM!!! I TOLD YOU THAT MILLIONS OF TIMES!!!

The Informer - Tortez isn't done! He's got Brink set up..... OH!!! TRICK OR TREAT!!! HE NAILED THE BRINK WITH IT!!!

Vic Canon - MY GOD!!! LISTEN TO THE REACTION FROM THE CROWD!! THEY LOVE IT!!!

[Super fast-forward.... Tortez leaves, Brink gets help and goes backstage, and the ring is cleaned up...]

The Informer - What a night fans!

Vic Canon - Yeah, this is just one of those type of nights. There hasn't, honestly, been just amazing wrestling, HOWEVER, this is the most surprising night of my life!

The Informer - Absolutely. And well, speaking of surprises...

Eddie Sensation - Now THIS is what I've been waiting for. Who's gonna have the pride Vic?

Vic Canon - I have no idea. But, I gotta admit, Chandler did a great job of getting our attention, and now, well, lets see if he delivers.

The Informer - Over the last 2, really 3 weeks, we have seen Clayton Chandler transform from lovable EWA posterboy to...something very odd. He's preached his anti-American gospel ever since his return, but he's never acted on it!

Vic Canon - Yeah, but two weeks ago, he did! American Pride, as the graphic says, was revealed to the world, and Chandler was the one behind it!

The Informer - That's right, and he has since basically DEGRADED everything this country is about! He even crotched Bob Hope!

Vic Canon - And did that make headlines. Ya know, I picked up a Star AND an Enquirer at the magazine rack at Wal-Mart today, and it was front page news (thats a shoot, check out this weeks issues OOC)! Chandler has promised that tonight, if no one is going to accept this Challenge he has laid out, he is going to burn old glory!

The Informer - And lets not forget, just two days ago in Pittsburg, PA, Chandler defeated 3 other men to become Grand Slam Champion!

Eddie Sensation - You might not like him, and I don't, but he is most definately on a roll!

[The Informer recieves a note from one of the key grips on the arena floor.]

The Informer - W..o...Okay. Fans, we understand that there is a special camera set up in the locker room for this, to give the fans something extra and see who is going to answer the challenge before they get to the ring. Can we get a look back there right now?

[We cut to a shot of the EWA locker room. There are people coming in and out of the showers, some resting on benches, Chris Jericho in a corner stretching (for his upcoming match), some of the debuting wrestlers mingling with the established stars, and a few watching a monitor in the corner. Some of the notable absenses are Dino Delsante (who, if you read the dirt sheets, you know about), The Brink, Thorn, Fallen Angel, and Chandler..]

Vic Canon - This should be good.

Eddie Sensation - This is it! The finale!

The Informer - Fans, lets go to the ring...

[Blackout.]

[A slow, pulsating beat vibrates throughout the arena....]

[Slowly, the sound of trumpets fills the arena, falling into the beat of the now extremely loud drums..]

[And a spotlight shines at the apex of the arena, where the stars and stripes of the American flag creeps down towards the middle of the arena. It is an extremely large flag, as wide as almost the entire ring. As it falls the arena turns an eerie shade of deep red, and the drums continue to get louder...and louder...and louder....]

[...Then, as the flag settles into its position about 4 feet above the top ropes of the ring, and sways slowly to the airs in the arena, the lights in the arena once again go out and the spotlight that shines on Old Glory changes into that odd shade of dark red....]

[The EWA video wall shows the now-infamous American Pride graphic, which slowly fades to black and white footage of malign aspects of America's history. Footage is shown of John F. Kennedy's "It is not what you can do for your country..." speech, and then a shot of his dead, prone carcass lying in a dimly lit Morge, and finally, his grave. Several shots develop a montage at this point, as we see the famous photo of the three men pointing into the horizon above the bleeding heap of man that was Martin Luther King....]

[...The Waco compound being wrongfully infultraded...American troops being sent to Vietnam, and a view of Arlington National Cemetary, where those bodies are now housed. The atomic bomb being dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki Japan, and the thousands of innocents under it that were helpless, and soon also dead. A still photo of the "Hollywood" sign in northern Los Angeles, California, and then vintage news reels of the chaos of the Rodney King riots....]

[...The Black Sox scandel..."I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With That Woman"..."I Am Not A Crook"... Richard Nixon boarding Air Force I for the last time...Shots of both Tupac Shakur and Biggie Smalls's dead bodies and cars...Woodstock, and then, the fire of Woodstock '99...Shots of the small American Indian compounds that inhabit sparatic parts of the country...Iron Eyes....]

[...And then, the still photos continue to be shown faster and faster, until finally the shot of the American Flag explodes and sparks erupt from the EWA videowall....]

[Immediately, 4 sets of blacklight pyrobombs erupt near the entranceway and Chandler makes his way to the ring, in total darkness (except the red glow around the American Flag), with only his lone, dim spotlight to lead the way. He is dressed as he usually would be for a wrestling match, except that his jet black Muta pants have been replaces with pants of the same type, except with a charred stars and stripes pattern. He is topless, with his forearms and hands completely taped and a backwards black "LSU: 2000 World Champions" hat on his head....]

[...In one hand he carries a microphone, and in the other a Zippo lighter. He rolls into the ring and scales the ropes and stands atop the top turnbuckle. A pose that would normally lead to a huge ovation instead leads to massive jeers from the crowd. Chandler simply smirks as he descends the ropes, turns on the mic, and sets the lighter to the corner of the ring. He props himself against the rear ropes parallel to the entranceway, and calls for the music to cease. He begins to talk....]

Chandler - Ya kn...

[The sound of the fans constant booing drowns out his voice. Showing no irritation, and actually showing happiness, he puts the mic down and lets them continue to jeer....]

[...A minute later, he tries again....]

Chandler - Heh...ya know people, this is the first time you have actually gotten a chance to see me in the flesh since you turned on me. So, wheres my welcome back gifts? Where's my FUCKING jello molds?

[The fans boo once more, just amazing heel heat.]

Chandler - What is it with you fucking morons. I haven't changed any, I've ALWAYS been like this. I have not changed a damn bit. I have not turned heel, you...YOU...the fans, have turned heel. And quite frankly, I like it. Hell, who am I kidding, I love it. Because you see, even though you boo me, and even though you all want my head, right now I can express my views any way I want, without having to worry about "dumbing it down" to stay a face. I mean, shit, you may hate me, but I'm more popular now than I have ever, EVER been. And that's a damn shoot.

[Chandler has to basically scream to be heard over the fans.]

Chandler - Okay, enough of that shit. Tonight...is...the....night. Tonight marks the end of American Pride and the beginning of something much, much bigger. MUCH bigger. Tonight marks the beginning of the end for the old guard of the EWA. The old standards, the old laws, the old rules, THE OLD TALENT. ALL OF IT, during the course of the next few weeks, will change. And you may hate it, but you are going to like it, and respect it. It is the TIME FOR A NEW BEGINNING in the EWA. A NEW DIRECTION. Because, singlehandedly, I have drug this company from the brink of financial ruin to once again being the most popular shit goin' today. And if you don't believe it was me, look at the fucking ratings.

[The camera zooms in on a "Chandler=Ratings" sign..]

Chandler - And to kick this new direction off, first, I have to end what I have begun. Tonight, anybody, and I do mean ANYBODY, in that goddamn locker room who wants to come out here and defend their country can. This is a free ride. This is also, a call to balls. Who's got the nuts to come out here? Somebody, anybody? We shall see, won't we. And with that, lets kick this shit off...

[The EWA Video wall shows the shot of the EWA locker room we showed earlier, with the people mingling and what not. Only this time, roughly 80 percent of them are watching the monitor. Not only would this be defending your country, this would be, after all, a chance for some younger talent to have a shot with the ball, and a small chance to run with it....]

Chandler - Okay, so, which one of you bitches back there want to come stick up for this shithole? WHO HAS SOME FUCKING NUTS?!

[None of the wrestlers backstage are moving. Most of mouthing obseneties to themselves, not wanting to even be involved with the whole situation. Others simply think that this is "a work"....]

Chandler - Nah, ya' know what? Turn that shit off, turn that fucking camera off. I wanna be surprised. And, ah, my lighter. Okay, I am going to ask this again. Who has some goddamn courage? Who wants to defend their country?!?

[The fans all turn towards the entrance way, expecting someone to show up...but no one does. And after 10 seconds, Chandler once again talks....]

Chandler - THIS IS NOT A HARD CONCEPT TO GRASP! THIS IS AN OPEN CHALLENGE! SOMEONE GET THEIR FUCKING ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!!!

[Chandler throws down his mic, and once again everyone looks towards the entrance, where no one shows. After 15 more seconds Chandler picks his mic up for the 2nd time....]

Chandler - Okay, this is getting really fucking old, really fucking quick. Let me put this in layman's terms. See this lighter? See that flag? SEE THIS FUCKING BUILDING!?!?! Put two and three together, assholes, and then lets see someone get their ass out here. YOU HAVE TEN SECONDS....

[The fans begin to grow restless.]

[Chandler ascends the top rope once more.]

[The fans begin to count for the final 5 digits....]

[The fans begin to get extremely loud, hoping for a hero to come and save the day....]

[The fans begin to scream...but for no reason. Once again, no one shows....]

Chandler - Well...I'll...be...damned. I guess Nick Dia-fucking-mante had more nuts than this roster. Fuck this shit, now we burn...

[Chandler sparks the lighter, and on the 3rd try, it lights up. He waves it around, showing it to the people. Then he goes to the outside and threatens a fan. And then he goes under the ring and pulls out a can of lighter fluid....]

[Chandler covers the flag in the lighter fluid, and the stench of gasoline fills the arena. He lights the lighter once more...and as he inches closer...and closer...and closer....]

[Blackout..]

[The crowd erupts as someone has finally answered the A M E R I C A N P R I D E challenge. Only Chandler knows who would answer a challenge by mocking his Cajun accent..]

The Informer - That's an imitation of Chandler... and it sounds damn familiar. Could the person mocking the Cajun be answering the challenge!?

Chandler - N-N-NOO!

["Serial Thrilla" by Prodigy as Serial Thrylla walks out from behind the curtain. D-F-A chants erupt immediately. Thrylla does not appear ready for battle tonight, judging by his attire of black combat boots, tan cargo pants, "Don't Tread On Me" American flag t-shirt, and a black leather jacket. Thrylla, equiped with a microphone, climbs into the ring..]

Serial Thrylla - You know something... I've sat idle now for over 3 weeks. Listening to your dumb ass rant and rave about why you hate this country and why you hate these people. Frankly, it's making a lot of people down right fucking ill. "Love It, Or Leave It" maybe an over used cliche. But I think it applies perfectly to your situation. In case you missed out on U.S. History in High School, let me remind you that -HIROSHIMA- was an AMERICAN VICTORY.

Chandler - Fuc... Y...

Serial Thrylla - Close your mouth. I'm far from finished. I've watched your little A M E R I C A N P R I D E segment now for a few weeks. I must say, congratulations. You've punked out a retired boxing legend with Parkinsons and a 97 year old man who uses a bed pan. Kudos to your BALLZY efforts, my dear.

Serial Thrylla - Chandler, you've betrayed the very country that made you. You've pissed off the American fans... You've pissed off the American government.. You've even pissed off Tom Stone and every single American suit the EWA has. but.. most importantly......

Serial Thrylla - .... You've made me a very happy man!! HAND ME THAT DAMN LIGHTER!

The Informer - WHAT!?!?!

[Serial Thrylla brings the lighter to the American flag, torching the venerated piece of cloth..]

Vic Canon - THAT GOD DAMNED TRAITOR!!!!!!! THIS IS THE MOST UNBELIEVABLE AND MOST DISGUSTING TURN I'VE EVER SEEN! LISTEN TO THIS CROWD!! THEY'RE LETTING THRYLLA HAVE IT!

Serial Thrylla - Boo all you want. There isn't a fucking thing any of you can do about it! Tonight.. the D-F-A phenomenom has changed.. It no longerstands for "Death From Above"... but for DUMB FUCKING AMERICANS. WHERE ARE YOUR HEROES NOW!?!?

Eddie Sensation - TURNCOAT!

Serial Thrylla - You people disgust me! The burning flag bothers you, huh? Well, how badly did my burning house affect you people 5 weeks ago? Or when my van was blown up for the sake of goading me into a match? How about when my house was broken into and I was attacked from behind? DID THAT BOTHER YOU!? Of course not, the American people disgust me. You have no sympathy for ANY of your heroes. You could careless about Chandler and I. All you people care about is pure violence and all Tom Stone cares about are the ratings. I piss on both of you!

The Informer - Why!? Why is he doing this!?

Serial Thrylla - For well over a year now, America has been crying out for the return of TEAM BALLZ. Well, being the man of the people that I am I GIVE YOU TEAM BALLZ. Chandler and I are back together and there isn't one person on this planet that isn't in danger. Hey America... you want violence!? You're going to get that... and a whole lot.. fucking more...

[Serial Thrylla throws down his microphone, and he and Chandler embrace. The men work themselves to opposite sides of the ring, ascend to the top turnbuckle, and throw both arms in the air. America HAS been clamoring for the reunification of Team Ballz for over a year, and now they have it, but not exactly how they wanted it....]

The Informer - TH..TH...THIS IS DISGUSTING!!! HOW IN SAM HELL DID CHANDLER GET INTO THE HEAD OF SERIAL THRYLLA?!?!?!

Vic Canon - Now, I do not want to stick up for these two...backstabbers, but I think Thrylla had an honest point. The fans don't care anymore Eddie!

Eddie Sensation - BUT...THIS IS WRONG!!! LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE!!

[The fans boo, and boo, and boo...the jeering does not stop for minutes on end as the two men pose at opposite corners of Old Glory, with her stars and stripes charred and beaten. The flag still burns, as "Bulls On Parade" by Rage Against The Machine hits the PA and the two men leave through the crowd (via a 20 man security squad)....]

Fallen Angel - Last words?

Rob DiMarco - Yeah... Before you head out to the ring... I mean...

Fallen Angel - Oh... Yeah... Well, I guess I should probably take a moment or two to verbally abuse both Chris and all of his Jerichoholics, hey?

Rob DiMarco - That seems to be the fashion around here...

Fallen Angel - Well... Jericho's mother... Dresses him... Funny!

Rob DiMarco - Ah... Yeah...

Fallen Angel - Wait, I got more... Jericho's mother is so God-damned fat, that she needs a boomerang to put her belt on in the morning! She's so enourmously huge, that she has her own zip code! She is sooo really ugly and hugely obese, that she has her own system of planets! Chris Jericho's mother is so fat that last night I had to roll her in flour and search for the wet spot!!!

Rob DiMarco - That's enough.

Fallen Angel - Cool.

Rob DiMarco - Also, Tom Stone will be at ringside... Do you feel as if you're at an advantage with Stone being there?

Fallen Angel - Nah, not really. I don't really like Tom Stone... I know that somehow, someway, he'll screw me over sooner or later, but I'm cool with that. Why? Because I'm ready for that. But until that day comes, whether it's out here tonight, so somewhere along the lines of the future, I'm more than willing to use the owner of this fine establishment as my own personal aid to capturing the EWA Heavyweight title. Also... Tom's putting on a bit of wait. I heard that he's getting sooo fat, that his pubic lice declared him and independant nation!

Rob DiMarco - Over to you Rachel!

Chris Jericho - WHAT DID YOU SAY RAFFY??? I WILL NOT LOSE ANYTHING TONIGHT...That's not a promise...THAT'S A GUARANTEE! Tim thinks he's backed me into a corner...but I have a few tricks up my sleeve, wether they come into play tonight...tomorrow or next week...The point is I cannot lose because I AM AND WILL FOREVER BE YOUR EWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!

Rachel Stevens - Out of your five opponents tonight, you know only two of them! Fallen Angel, and Tom Stone! Are you looking forward to getting your hands on Stone? And will you hold back tonight, or are you going to let it all out?

Chris Jericho - I am going ALL OUT! I will not rest until all 5 of my opponents have submitted or have been pinned. I CAN'T WAIT TO GET MY HANDS ON THAT LITTLE SPERM AND HIS MORON LIMP DICK SIDEKICK! I am going to make them wish they never signed Chris Jericho! I told you when I first got here and I'll refresh your mind again...THE EWA WILL NEVER E-E-EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!

Rachel Stevens - Do you have any clue on who your other 3 opponents will be?? Any guesses?

Chris Jericho - I hope it's you Raffy...I would love to beat you and Rod's ass. But I have NO CLUE...YEAH THAT'S RIGHT...NO CLUE! But I could care less...they could bring anyone from the retired Nick Diamentos to The Brink...I don't care...they will all feel the wrath of THE WALLS OF JERICHO!

Rachel Stevens - Well, good luck Chris! Back to you guys at ringside!

Vic Canon - And in a few moments, Chrs Jericho will attempt to take on FIVE opponents in one night, with the EWA Heavyweight Title being on the line in every match!

Eddie Sensation - HA!! That's crazy! Jericho has no chance!

The Informer - Did you just realize that Eddie??

Chris Myers - This next match is the MAIN EVENT, and is a Gauntlet Match for the EWA Heavyweight Championship!

["Prosthetics" by Slipknot blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by Kimberly Wolf, standing 6'2" and weighing in at 255 pounds, from Chicago, Illinois, Fallen Angel!

[Kimberly Wolf and Fallen Angel step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - Well, here comes opponent number one! And maybe Fallen Angel will beat Jericho, thus voiding the rest of the matches!

Vic Canon - Wow, I never thought of it like that before! But that's very true Informer!

Eddie Sensation - And I think it could happen! Fallen Angel hasn't been around lately... he's been training 24 hours a day!

["Walls Of Jericho" blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - And his opponent... accompanied to the ring by Mandi, standing 5'11" and weighing in at 230 pounds, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, the EWA Heavyweight Champion, "The Franchise" Chris Jericho!

[Mandi and the EWA Heavyweight Champion "The Franchise" Chris Jericho step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - And there's Chris Jericho, the EWA Heavyweight Champion! Tonight, the decks are stacked against him, but if he can come out of this mess as the EWA Heavyweight Champion, he'll gain A LOT of respect!

Vic Canon - But, thats almost impossible to do! With an opponent like Fallen Angel, you're going to have to give 100 percent in the ring! But, Jericho can't waste 100 percent on Fallen Angel... he needs enough for FIVE opponents, not just one!

Eddie Sensation - Well, even though Tom Stone is a great president, and a great man, can you really call him an opponent? He's already gone through one match tonight, and he almost got killed in it! Now he has another match, for the EWA Heavyweight Title! Do you think Stone is 100 percent? I dont!

The Informer - Good point Eddie, and that might even the odds for Chris Jericho!

Vic Canon - And there's the bell! We're underway! It's match 1 of 5, and Chris Jericho is currently the Heavyweight Champion!

Eddie Sensation - Oh shut up with that! You make it sound like he's going to come out of this match as the Heavyweight Champ! HA! Please!

The Informer - Well Eddie, this is the EWA, who knows what could happen! They lock up! Chris Jericho quickly applies a headlock, and takes Fallen Angel down into the mat!

Vic Canon - Look at the strategie Jericho is using! He's trying to keep Fallen Angel down, and tire him out while keeping his energy at full charge! Great thinking by Jericho!

Eddie Sensation - Trying to take the easy way out, eh??

The Informer - Eddie, he has to fight 5 opponents.. he's going to take as many shortcuts as he can! Fallen Angel is punching Jericho in the ribs, but Jericho just keeps on tightening down on that headlock!

[Suddenly, the EWA Theme blasts through the speakers...]

Vic Canon - What the hell? OH NO... DON'T TELL ME....

[Tom Stone steps out from behind the curtain and heads towards the ring.]

Eddie Sensation - YES!!!! IT'S TOM STONE!!!!!!

The Informer - Oh great!!! Tom Stone is making his way to the ring, and now Jericho has lost concentration! Jericho is staring at Stone, while trying to keep a lock on that headlock, but Fallen Angel is putting up one hell of a fight!

Vic Canon - It looks like Stone is making his way around the ring, towards us! Great... just great!

Eddie Sensation - Vic, dont make me remind you of what Stone almost did a few weeks ago!

The Informer - Yes Vic, please dont get fired... That means it would be just me and Eddie...

Vic Canon - Hahaha!

Eddie Sensation - HEY! I HEARD THAT!

The Informer - Welcome Mr. Stone! I guess you'll be joining us for commentary??

Tom Stone - Wow, Informer, you're pretty quick! I'm here to get a closer look at my opponent for tonight, Mr. Jericho!

Vic Canon - Yeah, right... Did you know that since Jericho's reign as Heavyweight Champion, you've been at ringside for EVERY ONE his matches??

Eddie Sensation - Tom, dont answer that... Let me just remind you of something.... "Vic, you're fired!" HAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!

Tom Stone - Yes Eddie, I could be saying that any second now if he doesn't shut the hell up with his stupid comments.... anyways, back to the match!

The Informer - Right... Chris Jericho still has the headlock applied! Fallen Angel has risen to his knee's... and now Jericho is back on his feet! OH! Fallen Angel just knee'd Jericho in the back of the leg!

Vic Canon - OH! AGAIN! And now Fallen Angel throws Jericho to the ropes! Jericho bounces off the ropes, Fallen Angel jumps! OH! Drop Kick by Fallen Angel! NO!! JERICHO GRABBED HIS LEGS!!! JERICHO HAS IT LOCKED ON!!!! WALLS OF JERICHO!!!! WALLS OF JERICHO!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - NO!!! STONE, DO SOMETHING!

Tom Stone - GOD DAMMIT, FALLEN ANGEL! MUST I ALWAYS SAVE YOUR ASS?!?! [Throws down his headset]

The Informer - Oh great! Now Tom Stone is heading to the ring! But Jericho still has it locked on!! Fallen Angel won't tap out!!

Vic Canon - Listen to this crowd!!!! I've never heard anything like this! They just EXPLODED!

Eddie Sensation - Hey! LOOK! STONE IS ON THE APRON!

The Informer - Jericho releases the hold, and charges at Tom Stone! LOOK OUT!!!!

Vic Canon - OOH!!! OH NO!!! TOM STONE JUST WENT FLYING INTO THE GUARDRAIL!!

Eddie Sensation - NOO!!! HE MIGHT HAVE BROKEN HIS JAW!!!! GET SOME HELP OUT HERE FOR TOM STONE!!!

The Informer - WHAT?!?! SHUT UP EDDIE!!! Chris Jericho is climbing to the top rope! Fallen Angel is on his feet! LOOK OUT!!! OOOH!!!!! MISSLE DROPKICK BY JERICHO!!!

Vic Canon - DAMN! Fallen Angel just FLEW across the ring!! And now what's Jericho doing?? He's pulling Fallen Angel's body into the middle of the ring! UH OH!!! I THINK IT'S TIME!!! THIS COULD BE THE END OF FALLEN ANGEL!!!!

Eddie Sensation - AHHH!!! STONE, GET UP!!!

The Informer - Jericho is calling for his infamous Asai Moonsault! He runs to the ropes...... OOOOH!!!! NO!!!!!

Vic Canon - OH NO!!!! FALLEN ANGEL GOT HIS KNEE'S UP!!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAH!!! YES!!! YES!!!! AND NOW STONE IS UP, AND HE'S GETTING INTO THE RING!!!

The Informer - No, Stone just looked over to us, and got back out of the ring!! I dont like the smell of this!!

Vic Canon - Tom Stone is making his way over to us..... No, wait a minute, STONE HAS A STEEL CHAIR!!!! NO!!! IF STONE USES THAT, HE COULD DRIVE ALL THE POWER OUT OF JERICHO WITH ONE SHOT!!! THIS IS GUARANTEED TO COST JERICHO THE TITLE!!!

Eddie Sensation - YES!!! THEN USE IT!!!

The Informer - But, remember, if Stone uses that, Fallen Angel gets disqualified! And Jericho wins the match!

Eddie Sensation - Ahhhhh!! Well then, ummmm, DAMMIT, STONE WILL COME UP WITH SOMETHING, HE'S A GENIUS!

Vic Canon - Stone is in the ring with that chair! And Fallen Angel is punching and kicking at Jericho! Stone is yelling instructions to Fallen Angel! But I dont think Angel see's that Stone has a chair! If Stone uses that, Fallen Angel's chances of being EWA Heavyweight Champion disappear!

Eddie Sensation - WHO CARES?!?! AS LONG AS JERICHO LOSES THE TITLE TONIGHT, STONE IS HAPPY!

The Informer - Fallen Angel has Jericho on his feet! Stone runs in...... LOOK OUT!!!!! WHAM!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!! FLYING CHAIR SHOT!!!!!! STONE NAILED JERICHO, AND JERICHO JUST COLLAPSED TO THE MAT!!!!!!

Vic Canon - THE REF IS CALLING FOR THE BELL!!!!! JERICHO WINS?!?! YES!!! JERICHO WINS!!!!

Chris Myers - And the winner of this match, as a result of a disqualification, Chris Jericho!

Eddie Sensation - OH WELL!! Stone doesn't care! Look at him! He's happy, and is continuing to beat on Jericho!

The Informer - BUT LOOK AT FALLEN ANGEL!!!!! LOOK AT HIS FACE!!! HE'S STUNNED!!!!!! HE'S STARING AT STONE, WITH A LOOK THAT COULD KILL YOU ON HIS FACE!

Vic Canon - And Stone is still yelling instructions! But Fallen Angel isn't following them! Uh oh! Stone just looked up at Fallen Angel, and noticed that he's not too happy!

Eddie Sensation - Oh great! Fallen Angel, you lost, just face it! Now leave Stone alone, and take your anger out on Jericho!

The Informer - Wait a minute... they're having a little conversation! Fallen Angel just said "What the fu--", well, he's not too happy!

Vic Canon - Hey, look! There's a cameraman behind Fallen Angel! Let's get a shot from that view, and listen in!

Tom Stone - Listen you little PUNK, just shut up and do as I say! Lay his ass SIX FEET UNDER!

Fallen Angel - How about..... NO!!! FUCK YOU STONE!

Tom Stone - FUCK ME?!?! AFTER EVERYTHING I DID FOR YOU?? FUCK ME???

Fallen Angel - YOU JUST FUCKED ME OVER!!! I CAN NEVER BE EWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION NOW!! THAT WAS MY LAST SHOT AT JERICHO, AND YOU FUCKED IT UP!

Tom Stone - WHAT?!?!?!? HOW MANY CHANCES DID I GIVE YOU?!?!

Fallen Angel - TWO??

Tom Stone - THAT DOESN'T MATTER, THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT YOU FUCKED UP EVERY CHANCE I GAVE YOU!!!!! YOU DONT DESERVE ANOTHER SHOT, YOU'RE JUST A WORTHLESS PEICE OF SHIT!!!!!!

Fallen Angel - WHAT....... DID........ YOU........ JUST........... SAY?!?!?!!

Eddie Sensation - UH OH!!!!!!! STONE, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!!!!!

The Informer - THIS IS HEATING UP FANS!!!!

Tom Stone - I SAID, GET YOUR WORTHLESS ASS OUT OF HERE! YOU CAN'T GET THE JOB DONE RIGHT, NO MATTER HOW MANY CHANCES I GIVE YOU!!!! YOU'RE WORTHLESS!!!!!!! W-O-R-T-H-L-E-S-S!!!!!!!

Vic Canon - OH NO!!!!! FALLEN ANGEL JUST GRABBED STONE BY THE NECK!!!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - LET HIM GO YOU WORTHLESS SHIT!!!!!!

The Informer - OH NO!!!!! LOOK OUT!!!!!! SIX FEET UNDER!!!!! FALLEN ANGEL JUST NAILED STONE WITH IT!!! AND NOW KIMBERLY AND FALLEN ANGEL ARE LEAVING THE RING!!!!!

Vic Canon - HAHAHAHA!!! LOOK AT STONE!! HE FINALLY GOT WHAT HE DESERVES!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - NO!!! DAMMIT, NO!!!!!! FALLEN ANGEL SHOULD BE FIRED!!!!!

The Informer - AND NOW LOOK!!!!! CHRIS JERICHO IS UP ON HIS FEET!!! HE SEE'S THE BODY OF TOM STONE JUST LAYING THERE!

Vic Canon - AND JERICHO LOCKS ON THE WALLS OF JERICHO!!!!!!!! JERICHO HAS IT LOCKED ON!!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - AHHHHH!!!!! GET HIM OFF!!!!! GET HIM OFF!!!!!!

[Suddenly, "My Own Summer (Shove It)" by Deftones blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - Next... accompanied to the ring by GeniPher, standing 6'6" and weighing in at 283 pounds, from Miami, Florida, "Crystal Clear" Cody Covington!

[GeniPher and "Crystal Clear" Cody Covington step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - WOW!!! CODY COVINGTON IS JERICHO'S NEXT OPPONENT! But Jericho doesn't care! He's still got the Walls of Jericho locked on Tom Stone!!

Vic Canon - Covington is in the ring! OH! And he kicks Jericho in the back of the head! Jericho falls forward!

Eddie Sensation - But I thought Stone was the second opponent?

The Informer - I guess not... maybe just a second out of the five! Who knows when Stone will fight Jericho! Knowing him, he'll probably wait until the end!

Vic Canon - Probably... Covington picks up Jericho, and throws him to the ropes! OH! Spinning Heel Kick by Cody Covington! And Jericho goes down again!

Eddie Sensation - And now Covington is going to the top rope! What's he going to do?

The Informer - It looks like Covington is waiting for Jericho to get up, so he's taking a seat while he waits!

Vic Canon - HA! Well, Covington might be sitting there for a while! Jericho has taken a beating!

Eddie Sensation - Well, Jericho is getting up! He's on one knee!

The Informer - And Covington gets back down onto the mat! He bounces off the ropes..... OH! Rocker Dropper! And Jericho goes down again!

Vic Canon - Covington goes for the cover! This could be it! 1.... 2...... No! Jericho gets his shoulder up at the last second!

Eddie Sensation - Damn! That was close! Hey, thats the first pin of this match! HA HA!!

The Informer - Yep! Cody picks up Jericho again, and throws him to the ropes! Jericho bounces back..... OH! GORILLA PRESS SLAM BY COVINGTON! He goes for the cover again..... 1..... 2..... No! Jericho with a kickout!

Vic Canon - Cody's playing it smart! Go for the cover as many times as you can! Maybe Jericho will pass out, and Cody will catch a break!

Eddie Sensation - Now Covington is picking him back up to his feet! More punishment for Jericho coming up!

The Informer - Covington sets him up.... Pump Handle Slam!!

Vic Canon - Wow, Covington has dominated! Wait a minute.... Look! Stone is getting up! He's been out cold on the outside since Fallen Angel left the ring! And now he's climbing back into the ring!

Eddie Sensation - YES!! STONE IS BACK!!! Finally we're going to get some action in this match!

The Informer - Stone better not screw up this match too! Covington is in firm control, he could pin Jericho any second now!

Vic Canon - Uh oh! Now Covington has Jericho's legs! Looks like he's setting him up for a Boston Crab!

Eddie Sensation - NOPE!!!! LOOK OUT!!!! OH!!!! SLINGSHOT RIGHT INTO THE CORNER!

The Informer - Covington gets up.. Jericho is stumbling backwards! Covington grabs him...... OHHHH!!!! CLEARLY CRIPPLING!!! CLEARLY CRIPPLING!!! HE NAILED IT!!!! JERICHO IS OUT COLD!!!!! WE'VE GOT A NEW CHAMPION, COVINGTON JUST NEEDS TO GO FOR THE PIN!

Vic Canon - Wait a minute! Stone is in the ring! He's back on top of Jericho! And he's throwing punches to the head of Chris Jericho!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT!!! COVINGTON HAS STONE BY THE THROAT!!! HE'S NOT GOING TO LET STONE MAKE HIM LOSE THE MATCH!

The Informer - Covington is saying something to Stone! But we can't hear it!!!

Vic Canon - HEY, LOOK!!!! IT'S DIVINE!!!!!! DIVINE IS COMING TO THE RING!!! COVINGTON'S BACK IS TURNED!!! HE DOESN'T SEE HIM COMING!!!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK IN THE RING!!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!!

The Informer - OOOOH!!! CODY COVINGTON JUST NAILED TOM STONE WITH THE CLEARLY CRIPPLING!!!! THATS 3 PEOPLE THAT HAVE KNOCKED HIM OUT COLD IN THE LAST 30 MINUTES!!!

Vic Canon - DIVINE IS IN THE RING!!!!!! OHHHH!!!! REVERSE DDT ON CODY COVINGTON!!!

Eddie Sensation - BUT DIVINE ISN'T DONE!!!!! HE'S LIFTING COVINGTON TO HIS FEET......

The Informer - WHAM!!!!! HE NAILED HIM!!!!!! DIVINE INTERVENTION!!!! CODY COVINGTON IS OUT COLD, AND THE REF IS CALLING FOR THE BELL!!!

Chris Myers - And the winner of this match by result of a disqualification, Cody Covington! But STILL EWA Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho!

Vic Canon - OH NO! JERICHO HAS LOST THE MATCH, BUT HE'S STILL THE CHAMP!!! I guess this mean the Gauntlet continues!

Eddie Sensation - YUP! It doesn't end until Jericho has lost his title!!!

The Informer - Or until he has beaten 5 opponents! Two down, three to go!

Vic Canon - Who's the next opponent??

Eddie Sensation - I dont know! Wait, Myers has the mic! We're about to find out!

Chris Myers - His THIRD opponent... currently in the ring, standing 6'8" and weighing in at 325 pounds, from Candy Land, Divine!

The Informer - OH MAN!! DIVINE!!!

Vic Canon - But look at him! Divine is circling around the body of Tom Stone! Stone is out cold after that Clearly Crippling, and so is Jericho!

Eddie Sensation - OH NO!!! I THINK DIVINE IS GOING TO TRY TO REVIVE STONE!!!! NO!!!!! DONT TOUCH HIM!!!!

The Informer - OH NO!!! Divine is down on his hands and knees! He's getting closer and closer to Stone! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Vic Canon - EEEEEEW!!!!!!! DIVINE JUST LAYED A BIG, FAT, WET KISS ON TOM STONE!!!! AND STONE IS UP!!!! HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON!! HE'S LOOKING AROUND!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - AHHHH!!!! STONE JUST SAW DIVINE, AND HE'S GOING NUTS!!!! STONE IS CONSTANTLY SPITTING!!! DIVINE IS LICKING HIS LIPS!!

The Informer - HAHAHAHAHA!!! And now Stone just rolled out of the ring! There's the bell!! This third match has begun!

Vic Canon - Divine picks up Jericho, and throws him into the corner! OH!! Chop to the chest by Divine! OOH!! Another chop to the chest!

Eddie Sensation - HEY, LOOK!!! STONE IS GETTING INTO THE RING!!!

The Informer - OH NO!!! STONE HAS A STEEL CHAIR, AND HE'S IN THE RING!!!! HE'S RUNNING TOWARDS DIVINE, WITH THE CHAIR HIGH IN THE AIR!!!

Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

The Informer - WHAM!!!!!!! OH NO!!!!!!! DIVINE SAW HIM COMING, AND DUCKED!!!! STONE NAIELD JERICHO, AGAIN!!! THE REF IS CALLING FOR THE BELL!!!

Chris Myers - And the winner of this match, as a result of a disqualification, Chris Jericho!

Vic Canon - And look at Divine!! He's running for his life, getting the hell out of here as fast as he can!

Eddie Sensation - DAMN, Jericho's been getting his ass kicked!! He might not have much left in him!

The Informer - That son of a bitch Tom Stone has ruined this match! EVERY match has ended due to Tom Stone interference, and due to his stupidity, Chris Jericho has won every match!

Vic Canon - Well, Informer, you may be the only stupid one around here! Maybe this is Stone's plan... To wear down Jericho, and then beat him by himself at the end! So far, Jericho has passed 3 opponents... only 2 remain, and one of them is Tom Stone!

Eddie Sensation - Speaking of Stone, he's in the ring right now with a chair, standing over the body of Chris Jericho! Wait a minute... Stone is telling Myers to announce something.... I can't make out what he's saying!

The Informer - Well then listen in, you retard!

Chris Myers - And his FOURTH opponent... currently in the ring, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, the Owner of the EWA, Tom Stone!

Vic Canon - Oh god! Stone is the fourth opponent! Stone probably thinks Jericho is finished! But he may be wrong!

Eddie Sensation - Oh please! Jericho has received many chair shots, and a Clearly Crippling! He's done!

The Informer - Look at Stone! He's slapping Jericho in the face, and taunting him! But Jericho is out cold! Even Tom Stone could probably pin him right now!

Vic Canon - But Stone is too stupid to do that! He wants to shove it in Jericho's face, and have some fun with him!

Eddie Sensation - Stone is trying to bring Jericho to his feet! But Jericho can't even stand! He just collapsed to the ground! HA HA!!!

The Informer - OH!!! Stone just slapped him in the face again!! What an evil bastard!! Stone will rot in hell for this!

Vic Canon - And now Tom Stone is setting him up for his big move, the Tom Stone Piledriver! Stone has Jericho's head between his legs... all he has to do is sit back, and Jericho is done!

Eddie Sensation - COME ON STONE!! DO IT!!!

The Informer - NO!! NO!!! JERICHO WITH A SUDDEN BURST OF ADRENELINE!! HE'S GOT STONE'S LEGS!!! WALLS OF JERICHO!!! WALLS OF JERICHO!!! WALLS OF JERICHO!!!

Vic Canon - LOOK AT TOM STONE!!!!! HE'S YELLING AND SCREAMING!!!!!! JERICHO HAS IT LOCKED ON, AND HE WON'T RELEASE IT UNTIL HE BREAKS STONE'S BACK!!!!

Eddie Sensation - NOOOOO!!!! STONE TAPPED!!!!! HE TAPPED OUT!!!!!

The Informer - MY GOD!!! JERICHO HAS BEATEN 4 OF HIS 5 OPPONENTS!!!! THERE'S ONLY ONE REMAINING!!!!!

Chris Myers - And the winner of this match, Chris Jericho!

Vic Canon - BUT JERICHO ISN'T REALEASING THE HOLD!!!! HE'S GOT IT LOCKED ON, AND HE'S NOT LETTING GO OF IT!!!!!

Eddie Sensation - WHAT?!?! MAKE HIM LET GO!! DO SOMETHING!!!! SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!!!!!!

[Suddenly, "Serial Thrilla" by Prodigy blasts through the speakers...]

Chris Myers - And his FINAL opponent... accompanied to the ring by Chandler, standing 6'2" and weighing in at 237 pounds, from Syracuse, New York, Serial Thrylla!

[Chandler and Serial Thrylla step out from behind the curtain and head towards the ring.]

The Informer - OH.... MY..... GOD..... YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT????

Vic Canon - NO INFORMER, THIS IS THE REAL DEAL!! SERIAL THRYLLA IS CHRIS JERICHO'S FINAL OPPONENT!!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHHAHAHAH!!! HAVE FUN WINNING THIS ONE, CHRIS!!!

The Informer - JERICHO IS STUNNED!!! HE LET GO OF TOM STONE, AND HE'S STARING AT SERIAL THRYLLA, SAYING "BRING IT ON!!!!"

Vic Canon - JERICHO WILL FIGHT UNTIL HE DIES!!! HE'S BEATEN 4 PEOPLE ALREADY, ONLY SERIAL THRYLLA STANDS IN HIS WAY!!!

Eddie Sensation - Well, HERE COMES THRYLLA!!

The Informer - Serial Thrylla slides into the ring! Jericho swings with a clothesline, but Thrylla ducks! Jericho turns around, OOOH!!! STANDING CRESENT KICK BY THRYLLA! Jericho goes down!

Vic Canon - Serial Thrylla quickly lifts Jericho to his feet, and throws him to the ropes... Jericho bounces back...

Eddie Sensation - LOOK OUT!!!

The Informer - WHAM!!!! THRYLLA NAILED HIM WITH A SPINEBUSTER! And now Serial Thrylla is standing over Jericho, with his arms in the air! Listen to this crowd boo Serial Thrylla!

Vic Canon - Oh no! Thrylla is calling for it!! He's calling for the DFA!!!

Eddie Sensation - YES!! NEW CHAMP, COMING RIGHT UP!

The Informer - Thrylla lifts Jericho to his feet, and whips him to the corner! Thrylla follows him in..... OOH!! BIG SPLASH!!!

Vic Canon - Thrylla grabs Jericho by the legs, and sits him up on the top rope!

Eddie Sensation - Hey, look! Stone is up! He's on the apron!! He's distracting the ref!!!

The Informer - But why?? HEY, LOOK!! THAT'S WHY!!!! CHANDLER IS GETTING IN THE RING, AND HE'S GOING TO THE TOP ROPE!!!

Vic Canon - OH NO!!! DONT DO IT CHANDLER!!!!! NOOOOO!!!

Eddie Sensation - OOOOH!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!! BIG TIMER OFF THE TOP ROPE!!!! THAT'S THE MOVE THAT BUT NICKY D OUT OF THIS BUSINESS!!! THERE'S NO WAY JERICHO IS GOING TO GET UP FROM IT!!!!!

The Informer - WAIT A MINUTE, THE REF JUST CALLED FOR THE BELL!!! WHAT THE HECK?!?! DID HE SEE IT???

Vic Canon - HE MUST HAVE!!! HE'S DISQUALIFYING SERIAL THRYLLA!!! THAT MEANS JERICHO WINS!!! JERICHO HAS DONE IT!! HE HAS RUN THE ENTIRE GAUNTLET!!!!

Chris Myers - The winner of this match by result of a disqualification, and STILL EWA Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho!

Eddie Sensation - NO!!!! STONE FAILED!!!! WAIT, SERIAL THRYLLA FAILED!! HE FAILED TOM STONE!!!

The Informer - THRYLLA AND CHANDLER AREN'T DONE!!! THEY'RE STILL BEATING ON JERICHO!!

Vic Canon - THRYLLA IS SETTING UP JERICHO ON THE TOP ROPE!!!! NO, DONT TELL ME HE'S GOING TO DFA HIM!!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHA!!! THATS EXACTLY WHAT HE'S GOING TO DO!!!

The Informer - AND LOOK AT CHANDLER, HE'S COMING TOWARS US!!! WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, STAY AWAY FROM US!!!!

Vic Canon - LOOK OUT!!!!! OOOOH!!! THRYLLA NAILED HIM WITH IT!!!! DFA!!! JERICHO IS OUT!!! WE NEED SOME HELP DOWN HERE, THEY'LL KILL HIM!!

Eddie Sensation - LOOK!! CHANDLER HAS THE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE!!! AND NOW HE'S GETTING INTO THE RING WITH IT!

The Informer - WHAT'S HE GOING TO DO?!?! JERICHO IS ALREADY OUT, DONT DO ANYTHING ELSE TO HIM!! HE'S GONE THROUGH ENOUGH TONIGHT!!!

Vic Canon - CHANDLER IS STANDING OVER THE BODY OF CHRIS JERICHO, WITH THE EWA HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE HELD HIGH ABOVE HIS HEAD!!

Eddie Sensation - HAHAHAHAHA!!!! CHANDLER JUST SPIT ON JERICHO!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

The Informer - MY GOD, WHAT DISRESPECT!!!! IN DUE TIME, CHANDLER, YOU'LL GET YOURS!!!!! FANS, WE'RE OUT OF TIME!!!!! THANK YOU FOR JOINING US, AND WE'LL SEE YOU ON TUESDAY NIGHT HEAT!!!! GOODNIGHT!!!!!