HomeIt turned out that I wasn't prepared to follow through with the dirty deed, nor did I have the guts to tell him what was truly on my mind. That I just finished a relationship that I didn't really care for, that I liked this man who was a vitual stranger to me, that I wasn't as strong as I tried to appear.
I think he knew all that already. Something stopped him from being the "player" he seemed be be. He admitted that he himself wasn't ready to go through with the evening as planned. We kept each other company though. Two strangers merely sharing space, minds and hearts separated by stone walls.
The next morning, my mind was completely fried. I stood on the third floor stairwell of my office building for ten full minutes, trying desperately to remember the code to get into the file room. Had the past weekend been so incredibly crazy that my mind decided to take a vacation? I guess I really needed to snap out of this party mode I'd been in for a while. Needed to get back into the boring tedium that occurred long before Mei and I turned into such party freaks. My evening with him sobered me a bit. I needed to stop being this glam girl and start being me again.
I respect him greatly for his virtue and his foresight. I guess I was having such a high time until Superman came along and gave me that brain-erasing kiss. But I wonder if the real Superman would have fixed the bed, folded my pajamas and tucked them neatly under my pillow.
Sorry to be so confusing ... I'm still trying to figure out this whole singles life again.