Never again will I procrastinate up to the point where I spend an entire day sitting I front of a computer, watching the continuously ticking clock, and chewing my fingernails down to the quick to get a paper written that could have been done over the course of a three-week grace period.
Never again will I find a episode of Malcolm in the Middle (a re-run at that) more interesting than an open finance book on the coffee table on a Sunday night when all my fellow graduate school sufferers are laboring in the library over a 6-inch thick volume, property tax-related textbook.
Never again will I say, "Hey, I think I hear a cookie calling me," and leave my unfinished take-home midterm on a table unsecured and next to an open window.
Never again will I think that the one hour between the time I come home from dinner with my friends and the time I go to bed is sufficient to start on a ten-page paper due the next morning.
Never again will I think that leaving my assignment, my calculator and my class notes at home is purely accidental.
Never again will I fall back on the numerous accolades laid on my creative writing ability and apply them to the most factual and analytical writing that I must do for assignments and dismissively announce that I will be able to "crank out another one" easily and in a matter of a few hours.
Never again will I take 4-hour coffee breaks while attempting to write a term paper, for fear of the potential of developing carpel tunnel syndrome.
Never again will a bright and sunshiny day, conveniently appearing after a long period of dreary and depressing weather, distract my concentration with thoughts of prancing down a gorgeous tropical beach, hair waving carelessly in the sweet-scented air, arm-in-arm with a half-clad, deep-voiced hunk.
Never again will I go to sit on my luxurious queen-sized bed, complete with a Serta perfect sleeper mattress, to "get inspired" to write a research paper on the local public finance of underdeveloped countries.
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