Jokes, and Strange Stuff

~67.5% of men wear briefs instead of boxers.

~Over 1000 birds a year die from smashing into windows.

~Over 1000 people a year die from frustration with Windows.

~The Bible is the most shoplifted book in the USA

~Allan Pinkerton, founder of the famous detective agency, died in 1884 when he stumbled, bit his own tongue, and was killed by the resulting gangrene.

~David Prowse, was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star Wars. He spoke all of Vader's lines, and didn't know that he was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw the screening of the movie

~The smallest unit of time is the yoctosecond.

~Mexico City is sinking at a rate of 18 inches per year as a result of draining the water table for human consumption.

~Footprints astronauts made on the moon will remain for millions of years: there's no wind to blow them away.

~Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

~Dennett D'Angelo set a world record for eating 3 pounds, 6 ounces of ice cream in 90 seconds.

~In Venice in the 16th and 17th centuries prostitutes believed that the higher the heel on their shoe the more men would pay for their services. Consequently a law was passed banning the wearing of high heels because they began to trip in the dark and fall into the canals and die.

~Under Alabama law, anyone who wears a false mustache in church and causes "unseemly laughter" is subject to arrest.

~During a life time the average person swallows seven spiders in their sleep

~Mulai Ismail, the final emperor of Morrocco (1646-1727) fathered at least 867 kids.

~In 1609, a doctor named Wecker found a corpse in Bologna with two penises. Since then, there have been eighty documented cases of this condition.

~The maximum speed at which erotic sensations travel from skin to brain has been clocked at 156 miles per hour.

~Men do 29% of the laundry each week.

~Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly

~Both Hitler and Napoleon were missing one testicle

~0.3% of all road accidents in Canada involve a moose

~Ferrets sleep for about 20 hours a day.

~The Ramses brand condom is named after the great phaoroh Ramses II who fathered over 160 children.

~No Yugos were ever reported stolen on purpose

~Samual Strickson, 39, of Nebraska, tried to stuff more clothes into his top-loading washing machine by stamping on them. He kicked the on-button, trapped his feet, and died during the spin cycle.

~A poodle fell from a balcony in Buenos Aires in October 1988. It killed three people. One was struck on the head, the second run over by a bus while watching, the third witnessed the event and died from a heart attack.

~Cannibals will NOT eat clowns because, "They taste funny."

~A terrible diet and room with no ventilation are being blamed for the death of a Michael Franklin who was killed by his own gas. There was no mark on his body but autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage (and a couple of other things). It was just the right combination of foods. It appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing from the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had he been outside or had his windows been opened, it wouldn't have been fatal. But the man was shut up in his near airtight bedroom. He was "... a big man with a huge capacity for creating [this deadly gas]." Three of the rescuers got sick and one was hospitalized.

~The longest word in the English language is "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis"--a lung disease cause by inhaling volcanic ash. The two runners-up are "hyperpolysyllabicsesquapedalianist" and "antidisestablishmentarianism."

~No word in the English language rhymes with month, purple, orange, or silver.....

~Famous "quotes" that never happened: Humphrey Bogart never said, "Play it again, Sam." Sherlock Holmes never said, "It's elementary, my dear Watson." Captain Kirk never said, "Beam me up, Scotty!" He did say "Beam me up, Mr. Scott!"

~When a shrimp is first born, it's male--it gradually evolves into being female as it matures.

~A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.