By: Crys Clouse
'Verse: Evolution (Season 2, somewhere between Walk on the Wild Side and Hex Factor)
Pairing: One-sided Tabby/Kitty, Lance/Kitty mentioned
Rated: Teen
Warnings: One-sided FemSlash, some angst.
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Archiving: My site || Anyone else -- Just ask :D
Summary: Tabby comes out to the guys.
Disclaimer: Tabby blew-up the disclaimer telling you they belong to Marvel.
Lance told me today that I should grow up a little and date one boy at a time, maybe even try being serious about a guy for once. I felt like telling him I was more likely to try to steal Kitty away from him, than to settle down with a boy. Flirting's awfully fun and if I don't restrict my attention to any one boy, I don't have to tell any of them I'm not really interested: they can tell for themselves. If they want serious they try elsewhere. Surely Lance knows enough boys at school to have heard that I don't give out; that some of the boys call me a tease. I guess I am--it's not like I actually want sex with any of these boys, now Kitty on the other hand...
Todd, Pietro, and Freddy glare at me when I listen sympathetically to Lance go on and on about his "Pretty Kitty" She's worth going on and on about. Lance is so lucky. Sometimes I hate him. Then I realize that even if he was out of the picture, Kitty would still be straight, and about as likely to date me as Scott would be to take off his glasses in the middle of class. I could sit and watch her all day though. She's just wonderful, a little younger than me; so pretty and her zest for life is enchanting. Some times I get a urge just to go up to her and tell her I love her; I never will though, even if she was Bi, I couldn't steal her away from Lance--he's one of my best friends. I wonder sometimes if I shouldn't tell the boys I'm gay, though; I spend most of my time with them after all, and they're some of the best friends I've ever had. Absolute worst case scenario--they kick me out. So I wind up moving back home; with dad in jail it shouldn't be too bad there. The Professor would still take me back too, I think, and living within his rules might be easier than living at home. I guess I really should talk to the boys, how can I call them my friends if I'm keeping something this important from them.
"Lance, do you have a minute?"
"What's up Tabby?"
"I...um. Never mind it's not important."
"You sure, Tabby? You look serious and it's just not like you."
"Well um...You see, well..." I can't do this.
"Whatever it is, I'll listen, you know that."
I can't--no--he'll hate me.
"Tabby?" Lance asked in a soft, concern-laced voice.
I finally spit out in a tiny voice, "I like girls."
::Blinkblinkblink:: "What about the way you flirt with, well, everyone with a Y chromosome?"
"Flirting's kinda fun, and, well if I flirt with everyone no one thinks I'm serous." At least he's not having a fit yet.
"Is there someone in particular you like?" No, I can't tell him that.
"Well...uh, you're not going to like this, Lance." Why did I just say that?
"Kitty?"
I nod weakly. He's going to kill me.
"She's certainly nice, but..." She's yours; I know that.
"I know she's straight, Lance. I wouldn't try to steal her from you even if she wasn't--stealing your friend's date is so, well, icky."
"Icky?" He seems almost amused.
"You know icky, not nice, improper, unfriendly, uncouth even."
::Smiles:: "I know." No way, he's okay with this; after I told him I have a crush on his Kitty?
"You're really okay with this?
"Yes I am," Lance says in a serious tone. "I'm fairly sure the others will be okay too if you're planning on telling them."
"I plan to--the four of you are some of the best friends I've had."
"Really?" You didn't know that? I've got to show them a little better.
"Really. Do you know where the others are?"
"Todd's up on the roof--Freddy's in the kitchen, and Pietro's not home yet."
"I'd better wait till after supper to talk to Freddy--I want him to listen not think about food. So, Todd's on the roof?"
"Yah, ladder's at the back of Ro--the spare room." Huh. I've never been in Rogue's old room--there's a way up to the roof in there?
"OK, here goes." Wish me luck.
"Remember, if you need to talk I'm always here."
"Thanks, Lance." I mean it; you're the best.
One down, three to go. ::sigh:: I hope they all go as well as this did.
AN: Lu Baihu betaed this chapter for me--thanks :)
"Todd?" I ask coming on to the roof
"Yo, whassup?" ::hops over::
"Can we talk?"
"Sure. If you need advice or anything though, Lance might be better."
"I've already told him this; I'm planning to tell all of you."
"You're going back to the X-Geeks--I knew we weren't good enough for you." ::turns away:: "::whispered:: never good enough, ever, anyone." Where the fuck did that come from? He's that insecure?
"Todd, it's not that--I swear--you're like a little brother to me."
::turns back:: "::in a small voice:: You mean that? ::tiny smile::"
"You guys are family to me and I'm sorry I haven't been better at showing it." Really I am.
"'s'okay ::whispered:: family? ::slightly larger smile:: So what's up?"
"I--" surely this should be easier the second time? "I'm gay."
"I though Gay meant guys who like guys?"
"It can mean girls who like girls too; although lesbian is more correct, I guess"
"Oh..." ::thinks for a minute:: "I always thought you were just playing with those guys--I thought you were after Lance though especially the way you'd listen to Lance go on about anything even Kitty." Whoa he's more observant than I ever gave him credit for--guess there is more in that head then a tongue.
"Uhm...Well..." How the heck do I answer that?
"Kitty?!?!?" Whoa way more observant.
"Uhm..." Ooh I sound real intelligent here.
"Don't let Lance know; he'll probably shake the house to bits."
"He figured it out. He acted cool with it; it was weird--I was expecting him to have a fit if he found out."
"I woulda too; guess he's pulling the big brother act again."
"?"
"Putting the rest a us ahead a himself again."
"Besides he surely knows Kitty's straight."
"Yah."
"I suppose I'll find someone else someday." I hope.
"Till then we can be lonely together...right?"
"Right." We sit back and watch the sunset--together.
Two down; two to go. Maybe Lance was right and they'd all be okay with it.
AN: Lu Baihu betaed this chapter for me--thanks :)
Freddy did a nice job on supper tonight; of course he ate most of it, but then he always does. "Freddy, can we talk for a minute?"
"I guess so."
"I like girls."
"So? So do Lance and Todd and Pietro and me--wait a minute you are a girl??"
"Yes Freddy."
"You're like one of those weird girls Jerry Springer has on his show."
"Not that weird but I guess, sort of." Leave it to Freddy to compare me to, oh, how about "Girls who slept with their boyfriend's sister," and everything else on that nut-zoid show.
"But what do two girls do??" He wants me to tell him that?
"Uhm...well, kiss and hug like any other couple..."
"What else?" God how clueless /can/ one boy be?
"::blushing furiously:: Go down on each other, and use toys--and if you don't know what I mean by that--ask Lance." Not me, /please?!?/
"Who do you do that stuff with?"
"I don't have a girlfriend right now." It could be worse--it could be worse...
"Who have you done it with, then?" Crap, it is worse.
"No one--I'm a virgin."
"But... ::confused look::"
"Have you ever been with a girl?"
"Jean, sorta."
"I mean all the way with a girl?"
"::puzzled:: No."
"But you basically know what to do right?"
"More or less..."
"Then why can't I know what to do between two girls, even if I haven't done so."
"I guess...It's weird though."
"What?"
"You were always so funny with guys, like you wanted them all; but you don't want any of them?"
"Right." How do I explain this at his level, in a way that doesn't cause him to hit-on random girls?
"Uhm, I'm hungry." ::wanders to the fridge::
Well, there goes his attention span; at least I got it said and he didn't freak out. Three down--One to go. I've got a sinking suspicion that this is going to be different though.
AN: Lu Baihu betaed this chapter for me--thanks :)
"Pietro?" He looks very quiet and still--I didn't know Pietro could do still
"What's up?" His voice sounds a bit off.
I step into his room; "Can we talk?"
"Sure, what's on your mind; always ready to help a damsel in distress." Now that's more like the Pietro I know. I come in and sit on the edge of his bed.
"I'm gay."
Pietro sits up straight, looking shocked. "But-that's-gross--How-could-you--That's-sick--I-can't-believe-I-share-a-house-with--ewww--How-can-you-just-strut-in-here-and-say-you're-that--one-of-them--a-damned-dyke-a-lezbo-" Damn, I knew this was a bad idea.
"It's not like I want to sleep with you." Hey, you are the only one who's got a problem with this.
"Shut-up--It's wrong--gross--perverted--It's-just-not-right." Hey, I'm just being myself; I'm not hurting you. "How-can-you-just-walk-in-here-and-tell-me-you're...that." He curls into himself looking shocky. "I-don't-know-how-you-can-live-with-yourself--It's-just-sick--wrong--freaks-all-freaks--Society-hates-us-already-why-can't-we-just-be-normal." Tears begin to trickle down his face.
What the hell? "Pietro?" What's wrong?
"Bad enough I'm a mutant--no mater what Father says it's more a curse than a gift ::sob:: there's no way--I can't be--the world hates me already ::hits head against wall:: why am I like this? What have I done to disserve this? ::breaks down sobbing::" He's--too, and he's this upset? And by the way, who the heck is his father?
"Pietro?" I move closer and pull him into a hug, "It'll be okay."
He yanks away from me, stands up and begins to pace. "It'll never be okay--I'll never be the son he wants--I'll never be good enough--I don't know how--I don't even know if I want to--"
"Damn, who *is* your dad?" What kind of ass leaves his son feeling like that?
"No one's told you? The guy we work for no less Magneto--Erik Magnus Lehnsherr himself." Magneto?!?
"Goddess." He's the son of the world's most wanted terrorist, and he's worried about measuring up?
"Yep the big man himself and here I am his good for nothing son or is that daughter? ::sarcastic laugh::"
"Just cause you like guys doesn't make you a girl" Although you'd make a nice one.
"That's what he'd say, a pansy-assed little girl, not worthy of anything much less his love or respect." And you're still looking for his respect?
"Pietro, you're no girl, if you were I'd be interested." Did I just say that?
"I try and I try but nothing I ever do seems to even make an impression on him. I mean on Asteroid M he paid more attention to Scott than to me." Are you sure being noticed by Magneto is really a good thing?
"He must pay you some attention, y'just don't see it, or something."
"Oh yah when I fuck up, I hear it loud and clear." Ouch.
"::sighs, bites lip:: Seriously, but about being gay? What ... where'd you get *that* from?" I hope it's not something he's heard his father say--he's having a hard enough time dealing with this.
"All I've ever wanted is to be normal, accepted--now I'm two of the things most hated by society--a mutie fag--I don't care if my heart beats 25 times a second--if I can get to school faster than Lance can drive it--if I spend my days drooling over Lance--oh god did I just say that?..."
I raise my eyebrow. He drools over Lance?
"I did didn't I--god--I know Kitty has his heart--I mean he walked out on us for her." God, that has to hurt even more than just knowing she's involved with someone else.
"--And Kitty has his; we're in the same boat here."
"What? You mean??"
"Yeah..." 'Fraid so.
"I hate this I mean I really hate it why is the world so fucked up--why can't anyone ever love me?" As his words get softer, His pacing slows, coming to a stop against the far wall.
"There's someone out there for you, I know it." And for me too, I hope. "And things *will* get better."
"I'll believe it when I see it, but thanks." He moves to the other edge of the bed, and sits down.
"Hey, all we have to do is keep hoping and dreaming, they're out there somewhere."
"I guess...um, Tabby? Have you talked to the others?"
"They were fine with it." Well Todd & Lance were; Freddy's kinda clueless as always.
"Thank God."
"Yeah." I pause looking at Pietro, who's sitting back looking calmer. "Pietro, if you ever need someone to talk to about this I'm always here."
"You mean that?"
I nod.
"Thanks. I think I'll take you up on that later." Good, you need to talk about this with someone and I doubt you'll be talking to Lance when you have a crush on him.
"Well, if you're all right, I've got a pile of homework sitting on my desk." And Lance threatened to strangle me if he gets another note from school about me.
"Okay, don't want you to stay up too late--it's your turn to cook breakfast tomorrow."
"I'd almost forgotten." Ugh, cooking for this zoo bright and early tomorrow.
"See you in the morning."
"Yeah, you too." I slip out and head back to my room.
AN: Lu Baihu betaed this chapter for me--thanks :)
I sigh as I head for my room; poor Pietro, I hope he does take me up on that offer to talk. I'd never realized he was hurting like that; I don't think anyone else did either. Y'know, I think he needs a good boyfriend to show him that being gay's ok. Who could it be though? He's right being a gay mutant sucks--it's almost impossible to find someone who's mutant or mutant friendly, gay/lez, and my (or his) type. It's not like there are gay mutants on every street corner--we're probably the only two here. Although--the way Kurt watches Scott...I have to wonder. Maybe I should... Nah Kurt's not even talking to me, not since...well the carnival.
::Sigh:: It was so much fun a couple weeks ago running around with the other girls as the "Bayville Sirens." I'm glad we're staying in touch; I think being with the Brotherhood's great-well, now that Lance got the water turned back on--but I was kinda missing being with other girls. I always thought Jean was this little priss, do everything by the book, period, but she was out there with us and while we were doing good stuff, it wasn't exactly kosher and by the book. I think I'm going to like spending time with her and the others, especially Kitty; Lance's Kitty-cat. Much as I'd like to, I can't forget that she's not mine and in all honesty probably never will be.
There are other things to look forward to though--Rogue offered to trade stories about "those goons you live with now," and Jean and Amara are nice to hang out with--never mind that Jean'll get lunch on that credit card of hers--I'd like a credit card that bills to the Professor too. ::Sigh:: If I want to get to go with them on Saturday without sneaking past Lance, I'd better get this homework done--he threatened to kill me if he gets another note from one of my teachers about my grades. Nothing like homework to put a problem in perspective--Life does go on as long as you keep living it--and right now living it means this homework. There'll always be tomorrow...
THE END
End Notes--To everyone who has or will Review this, thanks for your feedback.
Thank you again to Lu Baihu for the betaing, and the advice.