The Phantom Melville Chapter 1,
It has been 6 months since the glaaxy has erupted into conflict. Two major factions have emerged, the planet Naboo and her allies and the greedy Trade Federation.
We find our two heroes, Obese-Tom Kenobi and Qui-Gauk-Rodger arriving on the planet Tatooine for a McDonalds with their friends Queen Amiewinter and
Smell-Smell Lancaster.....
They are ambushed by Wavvle raiders, or bum raiders to give them their proper name, but soon warded off these fearsome warriors by waving a lightsalad at them.
They then moved onto the McDonalds where Brian the Hutt serves them:
Brian: "gabba choc nie eurgh?"
Obese-Tom: "What is he on about?"
Qui-Gauk: "Don't worry, it is just the fat escaping from his flab."
Obese-Tom: "O.K then, let's just nick some stuff."
Which they did, as Brian put up little resistance and even less when trying to pursue them, stealing an Ice-Cram maker and a hoarde of Hot Dogs.
On the way back to the ship to tell the others about the McDonalds they had eaten, they came across a boy, playing in the dirt.
Obese-Tom: "Hello little boy, would you like my hot dog?"
Boy: "Paedophile!"
And after such, the boy ran off. The two Jedi, running in pursuit come across some huts. They find the boy talking to his mother. After straightening things out they discover that the boy's name is Aaron-King and that his surname is WaterSkipper.
The mother tells them that the boy is just really strange and while his mother is talking to the two Jedi, Aaron-King is eating some food.
Obese-Tom: "I'll have some of that."
And then proceeds to eat 5 full Tatooine breakfasts.
Minutes later the two Jedi sense something:
Qui-Gauk: "Do you sense anything here?"
Obese-Tom: "Yes, the fart is strong here."
Sensing the boy's obvious strength in the fart they decide to see if they can take him with them, where they can teach him in the ways of the fart. His mother informs them that they are slaves and they will have to talk to SeBulba about releasing him.
Which they go and do, betting their ship that Aaron-King will win the eating contest the next day. If he wins, then he is free and the Jedi win the money needed to fix their ship.
After going back to see Aaron-King and his mother to tell them what is happening the next day they decide to go back to their ship where they will sort out the sleeping arrangements.
They decide to switch partners every night, with Obese-Tom getting Queen Amiewinter and Qui-Gauk getting Smell-Smell for the first night and swapping every night so as not to get bored.
The next day, the day of the competition, everything was ready to go, until Smell-Smell ate all the pies. A reserve order was dispatched and the competition was rescheduled for the next day.....
END OF CHAPTER ONE