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10-29-02
4:03 PM
Okay, I'm starting hw at 4:30 exactly. Until then, I'm going to post this entry, change my imood and listen to music. :3 So! Guess what??? Today is a beautiful day. Yes, it is. Gorgeous day. Lurv eet. The weather is wonderful. I actually felt sunshine today on the bus. Can you believe it??? Sunshine!!! Woaw!!! I miss sunshine so much. The weather is beautiful today. =grins happily= And! Extra plus. We didn't have to sing in choir. =pouts= But I got to talk to Jenny! Yes we talked! Not trivial stuff! Talked! For over 20 minutes! She's gonna call me this weekend! We can talk! We're gonna talk! We have talked! I bet I sound patronizing or something but gods I'm happy. I always feel happy after Jenny and I have talked because for that one little smidgen of my day, I feel as if I've gotten everything back to the way it used to be. When Jenny and I were inseparable. I know it's selfish of me, but I don't want to share Jenny. She's my friend and my friend only. ^^;;; Yeah, okay. I'm being honest! You can't sue me! =ducks behind a boulder= I should get a new title. Evelyn, lynch mob summoner. >^^<

Music: Ayumi Hamasaki - Boys and Girls
Fact: Ever heard Song for XX? It's really really happy sounding but the lyrics are depressing. Really depressing. What's with that? Meh. But! =waves finger around= Grace is translating the Oyasumi clip for me! Bwah ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!! AND! Yes, JR meant to say hi and goodbye. I'm fine! Yes! I am. Tho I might hit him for making me panic. :3

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10-28-02
7:56 PM
Erm... I'm confused... I really don't have time to make this post but um... Yeaaah... See.... After months and months, JR calls. And what does he say? Hi, I lost your number, bye. =blink= So! Guess what's running through Ev's mind right now! Did I hear it wrong? Did he say "Fine" instead of bye? Gaaah! I mean, honestly, what kind of person doesn't call for a year and finally calls only to say hello and goodbye! *sigh* I'm sorry. i'm really not angry at him, just depressed. Believe it or not, but I spent weeks antagonizing over him. Pathetic me strikes again. So! Guess what I'll be doing for the next week or so? Regretting hanging up before him just to make sure he meant good bye. Oh wow, the works of the over thinking mind... But for now, I'll bury myself in studying since we have a major test for tomorrow. I'll let my brain go on over drive tonight. But I have to get back to my point. Why I'm posting this. Somebody tell me why he did that. I don't care if you don't know him. Give me some hypothesis. I don't care how bad they are. They'll be 110x better than mine. so just help me out here and tell me why. And while you're at it, tell my why I have to make my life so complicated. I'm just a teenager. What's wrong with me? It can't just be the hormones.

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10-26-02
2:39 PM
Wai!!! I just downloaded the clip of Rice Chorale's Christmas Cantata! That's what it's supposed to sound like! And I thought we were good! We're horrible! Bwaaaah! I want to hear the entire thing tho. It's only the end. The last 2 minutes. =pouts= So I tried to hunt down another mp3 of it online. Nobody else has it. *sigh* I want to hear the whole thing. Bah.

Music: Pinkham - Christmas Cantata
Fact: But we're still better than Prep Choir. :3 But Jenny told me, Prep Choir's just a work class now. They don't even sing.

1:38 PM
Gaaah! It's killing me! The song's too short! It can't possibly the whole song!!!! Nooooo!!!!!1 Unresolved songs! =scowls= I was browsing around online hoping to find a Shinhwa song since they are my favorite boy group. =^^= And I found a song! It's an evil 1:30!!!! Gaah! So! Anyway, I got more music, so you all get more music! Yes!

Shinhwa - Only One: this is the evil song that's torturing me. =scowls= It's not fair I tell you. Not fair.
Sakamoto Maaya - CCS - Purachina: Cool song. Not evilly cute like all the other CCS songs because it's by Sakamoto Maaya! =beams= It's a happy song tho. I like her sad songs better. :3
Utada Hikaru - Distance: Bubblegum pop! Yes, Ev still likes it. It's better in Japanese I guess. ^^;;; I think it'd make a cool remix, so! If you ever find a remix of this song, let me know! Hm... I need to post a depressing song... Lemme go hunting...
Akino Arai - Sputnik: Baaah. Not depressing at all! More like calm. Hoeeeee... Either way! Akino Arai's spiffy. She always has cool songs. I wouldn't consider this one of her best. It's a little weird and erm... Dunno how to describe it. Dragging? Meh? Well anyway, it works nicely as a transition mood song. If you have any clue what I mean. :3 Hee hee.
Yami no Matsuei - Oyasumi: Okay! So! This is at the end of the Yami drama cd. It's Tsuzuki and Goshuji saying good night. Oyasumi means good night. What are they saying? Gods know. ^^;;; But! If you listen carefuly, you can tell who is who. Well... It's also kind of obvious. So! Why am I posting this? Because I'm bored and it sounds so completely random. :D

Okay, that's it for me. Ja!

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10-25-02
6:14 PM
*shniffle* Gods. That was depressing. Kaori Yuki, the creator of Angel Sanctuary, has some very twisted ideas for her mangas. Boys Next Door is about a serial killer who kills young male prostitues. It's really really twisted. Anyway, he falls in love with one and eventually kills him. Yeah, it sounds like a really bad story but it made me cry okay? So it's got to be good. ;_; It was really really depressing tho. She writes a lot of those. There was a nother one about a guy who had to replace his twin as a rock star, except people were trying to kill him. The whole thing's really really confusing and twisted but I love it. Gods it's sad. Beautiful, but sad. So sad. I think I'll go try and cheer myself up now. >.<

Music: Gackt - Sekirei
Blurb: The story about the twin is called Kaine. Blood red hair! Why doesn't anyone dye their hair crimson? Grgh. They dye it red. >.<

5:15 PM
What are you thinking now?
What makes you think I'm thinking?
Because you're like that. You sit there quietly and thinking. You think too much.
*snorts* Thinking is good for you Ani-chan. You think too little.
Is this why we're together? So we can balance each other out?
=smiles= Maybe if you beleive hard enough, it'll come true.
You're cruel Kazaore-san. One of these days you're going to be left alone.
No, you'll be there with me. Remember? We're stuck together.
=beams= I guess that's good. I'll never be alone.
You forgot about Megara-chan?
No, I didn't forget. But she's my conscience. I lover her, but she's not someone I can relate to. She's someone I want to be.
If that's what you developed while you were thinking you really should stop. Megara's already a part of you. You can't try to be someone you already are.
But sometime's she's so far away. She's so different from me. How can she be a part of me when she's the exact opposite of who I am?
=grins= Becuase I corrupted you. I got Rae to help of course, but I taught her like I taught you.
But why? Why me? Why do you have to corrupt people?
I guess it's for the same reason you want me to accompany you. Misery likes its company. I like looking around and seeing people around me I understand. It's fun. You should try it sometime.
But there has to be another reason.
It pisses off Kotori-san.
~facevaults~ Hoeeeeee...

4:42 PM
Hoeeeeee... Saiyuki is... =giggle insanely= The guys are pretty. Girls are... not... Because the artist gives them this huuuge chest. Not natural I tell you. That and the way the artist draws just doesn't work with girls. Bwaaaaah. Anyway, I'm still gonna read it becaise I'm a turd. =cackles= So! How was school? I sure you all want to know. =COUGH= Yah, school was okees. Cindy Wu (remember her?) was crying in choir because she can't go on the Spring Trip and if she can't Mr. Marshall will kick her out of choir. She was going to be kicked to Prep on Thursday, but I guess she convinced him to let her stay for a little while longer while she tries to persuade her mom. What's ironic is you'd think she wasn't allowed to go because she already went on the Geo II trip and is going on the orchestra trip, but it's actually because there's a major statewide (or was it international) competition she has to participate in on the same time we're going to be gone. Her mom refuses to let her miss it, so she can't go. I don't think it's very fair of Mr. Marshall to be kicking her out like that. Bwaaah. But on the cool side, I got a ride home from Laura today! Laura Nielsen, not Burke. We had early dismissal so I got a ride from her. It was cool. I figured out how to get to my house from school (which I'm really proud of right now) and we stopped by the library as it was closing to figure out how to get from my house to Grace's. (She was dropping off Grace also.) So! It was cool. Laura's a good driver. Honestly, I wasn't worried about anything. Honestly, I think the only person I don't want to be alone with in a car is (gomen ne Nia-chan) Suz. ^^;;; Yes, Ev can see the lynch mob forming but before you all decide to storm my house let me explain!!! See... Suz is like me around driving. It's a scary and terrifying experience. So! If you put the two of us in a car together, alone with no one to calm us down, we'll panic. Soo we'd probably end up crashing into the nearest wall and dying. Not because Suz is a bad driver, but because we'd both be freaking out. Driving is scary. =shudders= Sooo!!!! I think that's all I have to say.

Music: Hamasaki Ayumi - I Am
Blurb: Sanzo's so cool!!!! *.*

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10-20-02
3:05 PM
Kazaore-san ended on a funny note yesterday... e_ev Kazaore-san's like that. You'll have to excuse him. =scowls= Like you were any better yesterday. Let's not start this again Kazaore-san. Anyway! =smiles= Eh hee hee. Ryan was kind enough to correct me about the classical piece names. Mozart did not write the Pachabel Canon in D. Pachabel wrote the Canon in D. So! *siiiigh* This is what I get for downloading a classical song from a site filled with alternative, R&B and rap songs. Hoeeeeee. If I have time, I'll check the other ones. Anyway, I also uploaded another thing onto briefcase. This time it's a stand-up comedy piece by Pablo Francisco. It has a few curse words and the word "sex" but personally, I think it's no big deal. If you're offended by that oh well. He's really funny. He does really really good impersonations so! Download! The topic is movie previews. =cackles= I saw his thing on Friday Night Stand-up and he's pretty cool. *cough* Anyway, School! Is killing me. Fun fun! =claps hyperly= I was trying to pull an all-nighter yesterday but I fell asleep at 3. Damn. So I barely got anything done! But! On a happy note! I discovered another chapter of Yami no Matsuei was uploaded! Joy! She updates so fast! And you know what's stupid? She updates 50 times faster than an American comic company can translate! Not translate, print, and distribute, but just translating! That's extremely sad. Geez. Ah well. This summer I'm going to try and read Count Cain and Saiyuki. Count Cain's by Kaori Yuki, the person who wrote Angel Sactuary. ANIME! MANGA! Yah, Ryan's out there feeling queasy right now. ^^;;;;; Sorry Ry. Anyway! I bet you all have notced how I've switched back to real names. Yah. I thought it was pointless, especially when I mess up and type your real name. Then I have to go back and fix everything. Bah. So I decided not to bother. The only problem I'm going to have is telling the difference between Laura and Laura. I guess I'll just clarify it when the time comes. Bwaaaah. So! Gah! Back to anthro. e_evvvv

Honestly, you weren't any better yesterday. Be quiet! =whap= Owwie! =rubs head= That hurt. >.< *siiiigh* Anyway, go do the music and blurb. Shoo! Why do I have to do your work? =glares= Because I have a hammer and I know how to use it. ^^;;; Okay Ani-sama. I'll go now. =runs to the posting board=

Music: Britney Spears- Oops I- BAKA!!! =whap= Itai! =pouts= Fine. The music is Napple Tale - Snow Princess
Blurb: It's composed by Brit-
=gives Kazaore a death glare= ^^;;; It's composed by Yoko Kanno. It sounds nothing like a snow princess, more like a spanish merengue princess. Mebbe Yoko Kanno was high... =growls= ^^;;;;; Not like she'd ever do that because Yoko Kanno is a goddess!!! Hee hee!! She's the best i- =kicks Kazaore= That's enough!

*cough* Anyway, I'll explain Kazaore later if I feel like it. *snort* ^^;;;

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10-19-02
7:57 PM
I'm the one who doesn't belong. All this time when I thought it was you it was me. I don't fit do I.
I could have told you that.
Then why didn't you Kazaore-san? Why didn't you just tell me? Why did you let me decieve myself like this?
I enjoy watching you kill yourself.
You're sick.
And you're not? Don't tell me you find some twisted pleasure in making yourself depressed. Tell me Ani-chan, if you hated suffering so much, don't you think you would learn from your mistakes instead of repeating them over again?
I don't-
Don't lie dearest Ani-chan. As much as I like lying, truth can be just as painful. You might as well face it anyway. Ne An-chan?
Go away.
=chuckles= Is that the best you can do? Honestly Ani, you'd think after all those years of training...
Go away Kazaore.
Ooo, so harsh. I'm hurt Ani-chan. No Kazaore-san anymore? How cruel.
Please...
Look, she's about to cry. Honestly Ani-chan, you're so weak. Perhaps I should take you out of your misery. How would you like that? =gazes at Ani= You would wouldn't you? =smirks= But I won't. I'm not that kind. I thought you knew me better Ani-chan. =kneels beside Ani= Hm... What should we discuss now Ani-chan. What would be fun? Ne Ani-chan. =pokes her= Aniiiiii-chaaaaann...

Carl Orff - Carmina Burana - O Fortuna

5:31 PM
Can't find anything for my stupid history project. Baaaah. Anyway! "Wheeeen the springtime comes. When the springtime comes. Yes we sing la la la. Yes we sing la la la!!!!" Hee hee hee. Yes, I'm in an interesting mood. Bwaaaahhbafet. Hee. Either way, I have a lot of homework to do! Phweeee!!!!! I'm planning on pulling an all nighter with the goal of getting all my Anthro and History and getting a start on Physics if there's time. Lol. All nighters are funny. Last time I made myself hyper so I went to sleep at 5 only because I didn't want to encounter Mom at 6 in the morning and have her angry at me for staying up so late. Gah. I missed two birthdays!!! Bwaaaah!!! =pouts= I think Leslie's birthday is the 14th and Hisoka's is the 18th!!!! He's 22 now peoples. =pouts= Too old for me to stalk. Him and Draco. They're all too old!!!!! Nooooo!!!!!!!!! Ah well. I can stalk them in fandom world. =cackles= I need to add all these birthdays onto my calendar. I think I'll do that when I have a holiday. Just drag my calendar downstairs and devote and entire day to writing down all the birthdays. Gomen nasai Resurie-chan! Gomen nasai Hisoka-san!!!!! Bwaaah. >.<

Music: Utada Hikaru - Hikari (PLANITb Remix)
Fact: Disney... =scowls= Did I mention their game Kingdom of Hearts or something titled similarly? I think I did. Anyway it's cool she's making a breakthrough. Now I hope SES and BoA will follow. =grins= Ooooh!!! For the two people listening to my music1 YOu need to email me back on this. Now that you've heard both BoA and SES, do you like both or only one in particular. Be honest. I want to see if what epopel are saying is true. Then again... I already contradict it. Hee hee. But! Answer me!

1:03 PM
Grargh. Headache. Damn test gave me a headache. =scowls= Either way, that was no fun. And you know what? Call me really really stupid, but I thought that test was hard. In fact, I'll probably think it was harder than the SAT just because I usually do. Bwaaaaah. Anyway, I get to go to the library again today! This time with my cousin. =pouts= Yeah, I don't get dropped off this time. =pouts some more= I finished the wierd book. The Metamorphosis. Where Gregor turns into a cockroach. What is with that???? Weird screwy messed up book. I think I'm going to die laughing if there was some deep profound meaning hidden in the book. ^^ It'd be good for me. Hee. Oh! music. Right. See, I began wanting to post all these classical songs, but I only posted one yesterday before I had to be tutored by my cousin. And today, my mood has changed, so I'm not planning to load anymore classical pieces. Or at least traditional classical pieces...

Mozart - Pachabel Canon in D: Bah. I'm not even sure the title is right. I have a Bach piece called Air on G String. Somehow that strikes me as incorrect. Gah. Anyway, remember the Friends song by Vitamin C we all loved? You know, with the really corny comments? Yah, well this is the original version. Mozart's cool. I like Beethoven better. =cackles= Either way!
Chobits - A Fly on the Wall: this was posted by Miyu originally. I think it still is, but in case you don't check her site a lot. this is the evillest piece with the most innocent title I've ever heard. Honestly people. Why would you call it A Fly on the Wall? Mebbe the composer was pissed because he tried to kill the fly and it wouldn't die... =ponders=
SES - Dreams Come True (English vs): The English version! It's a little disorienting for me since I've been listening to the original for a year now but it's still pretty cool. Not as flowing in diction as the other one because they weren't born speaking English, but it's good because now you can sing along! Also no rap part. =pouts= I liked the rap part. Awwwwww.... Ah well. I'd only give it a 4.2/5 but I'm stingy.
Turn A Gundam - Gabriela Robin - Moon: Why didn't I think of posting this before???? This is the coolest song in the world! OMG! Bwaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!! And! It's written by Yoko Kanno of course. =nod nod= I need to buy the Turn A Gundam OST. I've already heard the OP and found out it was super disgusting, but I heard from reviews the rest of the songs are super cool because Yoko Kanno wrote the rest of them. =cackles some more= So! You must download this song. You'll love it. Trust me. =super grin=

Anyway, I need to get started cutting my cards. They take forever.

Music: HOT - Outside Castle
Blurb: Yes, I changed it to "Blurb of the Moment" because "Fact" was too snobby and I don't want to be restricted to facs. Hee hee. No there is no purpose in this, It's just a really long extension of my blog. =cackles= Anyway! HOT is halarious. They're the girly kpop group. =cackles= yes, some of them have cool hair, but they're just funny. Either way. Ja!

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10-13-02
10:32 PM
I'm not enrolled! =smiles= How very odd. They screwed up my grades for my PSAT diagnostic test I just got back and I asked the teacher if she ciould check my score again and it turned out I wasn't enrolled! How very strange. =laughs= But1 Another amusing thing just happened as I was typing this. (After the "How very odd") I have this problem with my monitor It emits this really really high pitch that will sometimes vanish on its own. But sometimes, I have to bang on the monitor to get rid of it. So I bang on it and it'll sometimes go away. Sometimes I'll turn the monitor off for awhile. Anyway, remember when I had this problem with the left speaker not working when I moved it? =smiles= Well, I banged on the monitor to get rid of the high pitch only to kill the left speaker. So I devoted a good 5 minutes to turning the speaker back on which consisted of a lot of shaking. I finally got it to where if I rocked it back and forward, the speaker would vary from off to treble only, to both with treble only. Then I finally fixed it. yay! So that was amusing. So! Anyway, I have to get a lot done tonight. I have to finish all my Worlfd hist. hw (I just discovered the reading outline thing we have to do), read my anthro book, and read The Metamorphosis. i read soem of that in the spare time I had at the Preinceton Review, but it was really weird. the guy woke up as a cockroach! Raaah? And he's so calm about it too! he said, "I wonder what they'll thin of me when I get out there." I'd be freaking out and screaming, "I'm a cockroach! Omg! I'm a cockroach!" But nooooooo... Anyway, I'm not sure if he's a cockroach. The sumamry on the back says he's a beatle-like creature. Still creepy if you ask me. Anyway, I need to read it. I'm hoping to finish it this weekend. It's a longer short story so mebbe I can. Anyway! I'm happy because.... WINTERMELON JUICE!!!! Ahhhh heaven in a cup. =grins crookedly= Mmmmm.... Don-gwa tsa. Yah, Chinese doesn't look nice in English... Why does Japanese? =shrugs=

Music: Himiko Den - Sasaki Yuko - Pure Snow
Fact: I downlaoded this off Miyu. If you haven't noticed by now, I get a lot of songs from Miyu because she has good taste. Tho nowadays, I only agree with her if she rates it a 5.0 sometimes a 4.5 won't be too good. And she likes Megumi. I can't stand Megumi. =shudders=

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10-12-02
7:09 PM
New songs. I'm having a hard time trying to post songs less than 5mb! Gaaah!

Cowboy Bebop - Call Me: This is a cool song. It took me a week to warm up to it but it's cool now. =grins=
L'arc en Ciel - FF Spirits Within - Spirit Dreams Inside: Yes, that's the movie. I know I got confuzzled too. I thought the only sung song was by Lara Fabian. That's another song called The Dream Within. Confuzzling? Yah. Anyway, this is a cool song. Doesn't make much sense since L'Arc en Ciel is a Japanese band and they're singing in English... But1 The English makes the singer's voice less weird! Woot! Anyway, cool song.
Parasite Eve 2 - Forbidden Power [Theme for Aya]: I was going to upload Parasaite Eve - Somina Memorias because that's a really spiffy song but it's over 5mb. I didn't realize it until 9 minutes later when Yahoo decided to tell me. =scowls= So! I decided to upload the only other Parasite Eve song I have. It's a bgm and it's really really cool! It's starts out all upbeat, but then... I dunno... But the end creeps me out. I'll understand if you think I'm stupid, but! It's a cool bgm. Ah lurv it!
Weiss Kreuz and Saiyuki - Double Dear: This is the only Weiss Kreuz song I like and ever will like. I have this thing against Weiss Kreuz songs. They let me down. Everyone says Weiss Kreuz has cool music. So I downloaded a few. I hated them. So! This is the only one I like! Prolly b/c there's the Saiyuku seiyuu on there. =snickers= Anyway, that's all I've uploaded. Baaah.

So! Pleeeaaaase!!!! If you have a specific artist you want! Or a psecific type of song you want! Or a specific mood you want for your collection! (Yes, mood. I'm a mood collector. Those of you who is one will understand.) Please request a song! I'm running out of ideas!!! Bwaaah! But I like uploading songs! It's fun! I feel powerful! ... e_ev Okay... Scratch that. I like posting songs because it's fun. =smiles innocently with alter persona cackles in bg= Yes I do. So! If you hate a certain song I've posted, please let me know. I'd like to know what kind of music my friends like to listen to. Well... three of my friends like to listen to. One of whome doesn't even read this blog. Bwwwwah. So! Anyway, just give me some feedback so I know what to post next time ne?

Music: L'Arc en Ciel - Stay Away
Fact: Lol! Song title contradiction! Hee hee.

2:01 PM
Isn't it funny how a happy sounding song can be so sad? Well... Hopeful as well. Anyway, Nia, it's okay that you're happy. In fact, it's good. I'm sorry my journal's depressing. =smiles impishly= Hee hee. Guess I'm melodrmatic ne? But don't worry about it. You've been dying all week, I think you deserve a bit of happiness. Save some of it for school when you need it k? *sigh* Wow. I wish I could save happiness. Wouldn't that be neat? I'd go over to someone's house and bring little jars and labels. Then everytime I laughed I store a little bit of that away into my jar and label it. "Laughter with Jenny" "Suz did something silly" "Ryan said something funny" "Hyperness" "Relief" I'd love to store emotions. You know what my favorite story idea was? The Dram jars in The BFG. That was beautiful. More than anything, I'd love to see dreams. I want to see what they look like. I want to go to the Dreamworld with the BFG. I want to catch dreams. I want to see my dreams. Are they black? Are they purple? Are they clear? Who knows? I want my own dream collection. They'd be better than emotions. Dreams come with emotions. I want to collect happy dreams so when I'm tired and depressed, I can give myself a nice happy dream. That'd be nice wouldn't it? And Suz, forgive me for saying this but... Too bad some dreams won't even come true.

Music: Gensoumaden Saiyuki - Alone
Fact: Yes, it's on endless repeat so I can learn to sing it. It's a beautiful song. And yes, I'm feeling rather bittersweet right now. I need to suggest that as a mood to imood.

1:50 PM
Awww... =smiles= There's a little Cardinal trying to bang her way into my house through the window wall. She's probably a juvenile since her feathers have a bit of gray in them. But either way, poor Cardinal. She's been trying to get in for 10 minutes now. She's kind of like me. We both know what we want. We can ever see it. Yet all we can do is sit on the branch and gaze longingly at our desire. Every once in awhile, we'll take flight with the hope the wall will go away only to find it hasn't. It never will. So pathetic. So stupid. Yet we all do it. We all sit on our branches and watch. We all want in but we never will.

Outside looking in.

Music: Gensoumaden Saiyuki - Alone

And yet... If we do make it in we'll die. Just like the bird in the gym. He died didn't he?

-~-

10-11-02
9:24 PM
Why was I happy? Someone tell me why? I don't understand it. I just don't. I don't know whether to laugh hysterically, cry or strangle someone. Mom came home. I told Mom Jenny said yes. She still wants me to go to the Princeton Review. Who cares what she said before, it doesn't matter anymore. So I might go depending on whether they're fully booked yet. Hopefully they are because it's 3 hours per day tomorrow, Sunday and Monday. But that's beside the point1 It's going to kill my homeowrk time! And Mom said it was okay. She'd understan, but look what she did when she said she'd drop the whole PSAT issue if I got help from Jenny? She went against her word! So Ev gets to work. She also gets to lose her sleep because I have to wake up at 8 AM. I know I can go to sleep early but have you ever noticed that unless your body wakes you up without the aide of any alarms, you'll always feel sleepy? Well that's how it is with me. You know how she did it? There was no way out. She finally boiled it down to, "Think of this as a favor to me. Do you think it's fair that I have to..." Blah blha, you know what follows that. And how do you respond to that? "No, I don't give a care what you do." No! You can't say that! A mother's hatred is the worst thing in the world. I hate it. It's one of the main drives for my sporadic depression. So! Ev gets to die. And she won't be finished dying until next weekend. Gods know how long this school week will be. But I can tell you it won't be pretty. Meanwhile, I'm taking like a baby. Crying my eyes out because things aren't going my way. Life sucks. Did I mention that? Just when you tihnk things are going well life throws you a mom. =rubs forehead= Gods I feel old.

Music: Gensoumaden Saiyuki - Alone
Fact: I got the non-karaoke version. Yay. =waves around flag half-heartedly=

7:13 PM
Waaii! The Yami no Matsuei scanlation site updated again! She updates so frequently! =beams= Spiffy! It's so cool! It's like a cooler version of Cowboy Bebop without the nifty music! It's so depressing! Bwaaaaah!

Music: tTrials of the Mind (The Thoughts) CD Fact: Hisoka! Hisoka! An Tsuzuki! Tsuzuki's cute in an adorable, you want to pet him on the head, sort of way. Awwwww!!!!

6:40 PM
Waiiii!!!!!!! =glomps Jenny a thousand times= The Great and Mighty Jenny svaed me from the Princeton Review!!!!!!! ~hand clasp bubble vision~ Waaaaaaaaaah... *.* Mom agreed to let me not go to the Princeton Review only if Jenny could tutor me this weekend and guess what? Jenny said yes! Yes! Yes! Yeaaaaah! =squeezes Megarby happily for the thousandth time= Yeeee!

Music: Flawed: Bittersweet CD
Fact: The music is slowing me down... Hm... =decides to switch Cds= TECHNO! Well... More like techno/ambient. Bwaaaaaaa! =pause e_e= HA HA HA HA HA!

4:45 PM
Gods I could hurt someone right now. My mother is trying to make me have some more PSAt practice. I personally would just be happier spending a few hours on it with Suz and everyone else planning to go the day before the test and tthen go take it the next day. Apparently, that's not good enough for mom. She says I should go to the Princeton crash course review this weekend. That's time well wasted. Maybe I should go take it, but you know what? I have to friggin time for it! I have gone on with 6 hours of sleeps every single day since last Monday with the exception of Saturday! Sometimes even less than that! So you know what? I deserve my friggin sleep. I think you should give it to me. I have have two major projects I need to start working on as well. I'd like to be able to do my homework happily without conflicts with my mom but apparently that's not possible. She says if I make National Merit I can get into Rice and they won't refuse me. You know what? I have no clue what's considered good enough for national merit! Ha! How ironic. Suz and I went to this SAT practice and took a SAT test. they're pretty similar, but I persoanlly think the SAT is more difficult. Am I stupid? It's been proven, but moving on. I'm currently very very tired. Can I go home now?

Music: Pierrot - Shinkei ga Wareta Samui Yoru
Fact: I shortened it because I was tired of typing "of the moment"

-~-

10-6-02
2:21 PM
Everyone hates me today! Woot! Lol. Scary mood for Ev again. I yelled at Laura because she called me at 10 and woke me up. I almost bashed Mom, but apparently I didn't because Mom's still smiling at me. I'm cheering myself up by listening to my old music. Wow. I still like this stuff. =smiles= Anyway, here are the 3 new songs up on Briefcase so far.

Cowboy Bebop - The Real Man: The song from yesterday. Perfect explanation of my mood. Extremely chaotic and super cool. It's Yoko Kanno! She can make junk sound good!
SES - Fushigi Yuugi - Dreams Come True: The first Korean song I ever had. And I still think it's super super cool. I think it's the Korean opening song for FY. I know for sure it's from FY, so anyway. It's SES! How can you go wrong? With spiffy weirdo rap! Meep?
Sakamoto Maaya - Record of Lodoss War - Kiseki No Umi: I'm posting this because it goes along with the other Sakamoto Maaya song. they're a pair. =smiles=
Sakamoto Maaya - Tenkku no Escaflowne - Yakusoku wa Iranai: Ending song? Wait no, opening song I think of Vision of Escaflowne. Suz wanted it because she liked it. It's a cool anime actually. Tho I want to hurt Hitomi. =scowls= Go Van! Woot! =waves around little Van flags=

Music of the moment: Zetsuai Bronze - Saishuushou
Fact of the moment: This would have also fit for yesterday. It's not really me right now, but I'm listening to it because it's cool. SES - Taming a Playboy is more like me right now. =cackles= Ah well. Can't post the Zetsuai Bronze song because it's over 5mb. Like bites. But Zetsuai Bronze doesn't. And Yami no Matseui is super cool! =waves around little TsuzukixHisoka flags= Shingami!!!! Woot!

-~-

10-5-02
8:22 PM
Ever get the feeling you've done something completely wrong? Something you're going to regret for the rest of your life? Well, I just did. I vented. To Jenny. Of all people. About her. And Rae is dancing around my heading singing, "Baka baka baka!!!!!" Oh she's having lots and lots of fun bashing me. I can't wait to see what Jenny thinks. Note the sarcasm peoples. I'm in a dangerous mood. I could get killed easily in this type of mood. So? What did Ev do? I vented. It's that simple. I vented my frustrations about Jenny to Jenny. There was this huge whoosh as I posted it and a big bam as more worries filled the space my old worries left behind. Oh yeah, I regret it. Oh yeah, I am relieved. Bittersweet. Good gods it's bittersweet. But I'm not going to cry because for once I don't need to. I'll cry if she calls. Gods I'll cry so bad. I won't know what to do. But that's life isn't it? It's cruel. I won't know what to do if she calls or she doesn't call. Am I the only one with this problem? I think so. I'm probably the only one rediculous enough to have this kind of friendship with someone. I'm the only one stupid enough to isolate myself while wishing I were closer. How stupid can I be? Very stupid. What is the whole purpose of this entry? To show how cowardly I am. The second I finally vent to Jenny I apologize. What? You don't see any apologies in here? Can't you feel it? Yeah, I guess it's hard past the sarcasm, but oh well. Sarcasm is a nice mask. I used it when I'm stressed. How stressed am I? Very. Music's on loud, I'm extremely restless and my brain's on overactive mode. Why? I have a scary feeling Baby's going to leap out of the closet and claw me to death. Ryan won't be too appreciative of this but my mind's way off right now. This is a time when imagination is bad. Beware the shadows. They'll hurt you if someone wants them to. Psycho. Carzy. Killer. Fun. What is fun? When you're nervous like me. When you can't get a grip and be rational. Jenny won't be mad. She'll understand. Stop typing Ev, this entry is making it worse. Shut up shut up! Can't you see? You're ruining it. It's all your fault. Everyone hates you. It's all a dream. This isn't real. What's going on? Why am I like this? I'm confused. And then it all leads down to this.

Where's my ray of light in the dark? Don't I deserve one?

Cowboy Bebop - The Real Man

3:55 PM
At Rion's house, I saw my website and the font is in Times New Roman. Gargh. So it's super tiny. So, I fixed the font to Verdana. If it's readable now, let me know.

3:38 PM
I don't understand you anymore. You confuse me. I'm completely seperate from you now. I wish I could understand. I wish I could help, but it's too late. I can't understand and no matter how much we say we'll try it never works. And you know what? Maybe we don't really want to try. Maybe we're happier in our own little worlds, with our own little friends. We're seperate now. You don't need me. You'll tell me I'm wrong but isn't it the truth? Do I act this also? I don't know. I think I don't, but you never know. But I need to move on. Yes, I'll still be there for you, but you never come to me for help. I'm waiting for a ghost. I'm wasting my life away. So I'll leave my number behind for you and you can give me a call when you want me. Until then, I have to go.

Music of the moment: Yami no Matsuei - Instrumental
Fact of the moment: There are no victims. Nothing is real.

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