| QUOTES: Words of wit, wisdom, and Various forms of Sexual Depravity |
| Shouldn't you have died at birth, you club-footed bastard!? - Matt Dierker |
| "Girls = Evil" - Lanyon Clute, The Lanyon Theorem |
| "...then you write out the quadratic formula on her face with it, hence the name, "the Dirty Abacus" - Jim |
| "Play with shit and you get it on your hands." - Bob and Jim's Granny Keen, on loose women. |
| "So there I was, balls deep in a 9 year-old boy, when my CLOWN NOSE falls off!" - Chris Avgerin of Infused |
| "I'M A' PUT BABIES IN YOU!" - Bob's best pick-up line |