The Irrefutable Truths

1. Beavis and Butthead were the most intelligent part of MTV.
2. The artist who says he does not know what he is doing is telling the truth.
3. The crust is the best part of a good pizza and the worst part of a bad one.
4. The writers who ignore yesterday's Greats shall be ignored by tomorrow's.
5. A picture is worth a thousand words.
6. The living artist contemplates what he can create. The dead artist contemplates what he has created.
7. A classic is not so much a book that has been passed down from prior generations so much as it is one that will be passed down to future generations.
8. The Bible is the greatest book ever penned.
9. Man and Woman are God's gift to each other.
10. In spite of his faults, Winston Churchill was the greatest leader of the twentieth century.
11. In spite of his faults, Abraham Lincoln was the greatest leader of the nineteenth century.
12. The United States is the greatest nation in history.
13. Government grants always go to the worst kind of people: Those who are willing to accept money extorted from others.
14. God helps those who help themselves; liberals hate those who help themselves.
15. When buying and selling are regulated, the first things to be bought and sold are the regulators.
16. If gun control reduced crime, New York City and Washington DC would be the safest cities on the planet.
17. No promise made in order to obtain a tax increase has ever been kept.
18. Crime is caused by criminal thinking.
19. There will always be poor people.
20. The purpose of welfare is to justify the taxes spent thereon.
21. The political spectrum is a circle. The far left and the far right meet at the bottom.
22. There is no grand conspiracy, only a zillion conspirators, each seeking to profit from the same tyrannies for different reasons.
23. Those who flee from one form of tyranny often rush straight into another.
24. A disagreement that does not challenge fundamentals serves only to reinforce them.
25. The abortion debate is not really about sex or privacy.
26. Only those who are already born support abortion.
27. Outlawing abortion will not stop people from fornicating.
28. Those who produce more than they consume are the only people who truly pay for anything; everyone else is sponging off of them.
29. There is a vast difference between making money and merely obtaining it.
30. There is no state-sponsored religion in America, except for secular humanism.
31. The individual will always be a minority.
32. There is no substantive difference between a poor man robbing to feed his family and the government imposing taxes to feed the poor.
33. In human affairs, the brain is the ultimate means of production.
34. The root of any government's power is its authority to kill.
35. The fundamental unit of society is the individual.
36. The real Supreme Court has God on the bench.
37. God is above politics, and thus the separation of church and state is ordained.
38. The only true brotherhood is the brotherhood of values.
39. The family is the primary classroom for civilized behavior.
40. Only those who can are fit to teach how.
41. One cannot educate without passing judgment.
42. Even a person with bad principles can defeat a person with no principles.
43. Only those who do good deserve to feel good.
44. The most effective way to eradicate a virtue is to compel it.
45. The only possible compromise between poison and food is poisoned food.
46. A fool and his money are soon parted; the only way to prevent this is to enlighten the fool.
47. Morality is not a matter of opinion.
48. If behaviorism were true, it could not have been discovered.
49. Of all people, feminists are the most sexist.
50. Nobody ever says "I'm just as good as you are," except when it's not true.
51. The loudest critics of the power of money would sell their souls for a nickel.
52. No promise made by an adulterer has any value at all.
53. Those who deny any reason for their deeds have done them for the worst reasons.
54. Only those who feel inadequate can feel hatred towards another human being.
55. Love cannot be without judgement, because love is a judgement.
56. The quickest way to the heart of a girl worth having is through her mind.
57. Not all ideas are equal in merit.
58. A word is worth a thousand pictures.
59. No honest person wishes for contradictions to exist.
60. Every lie, no matter how small, is a declaration of war on reality.
61. Everything better is different, but not everything different is better.
62. Contradictions cannot exist.
63. Government is impotent to change any of these truths.
64. There is a God.

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