only hope*
chapter 05
*******
10 P.M.
The room was completely silent and seemed to send a hollow vibe throughout the both of u, then again that�s what all basements do, send chills down peoples spines, cause them to get spooked. Even though that one was fairly new, it was till freaky.
�Did you find it yet?� I questioned anxiously.
�No, not yet. I dunno where it�s at, all these damn boxes are confusing me.� He mumbled as he cleared away 3 more boxes full of miscellaneous objects.
�You sure you don�t need any help?� I asked, feeling bad that he was doing all the work.
�Positive, besides here it is�� Proudly he held up a red wig.
�Oh my God! Now I gotta be a red-head.� I chuckled, eyeing the thing in his hand as if it was a dreadful end.
�I honestly haven�t a clue as to where I got this from by hey, it works.� He handed it to me and then began to put the boxes back into place
�Come on, you know you love to cross dress babe. You can�t hide.� I combed the false hair with my fingers.
�Damit! Who told you?� He sighed.
�Hey, Ju, is it me?� I giggled as I put it on over my semi-damp hair.
�Oh baby!� He pet the side of my head until the wig ended just below my elbow.
Tilting his head to the side he noted, �Yup with some thick-rimmed glasses, you�d be perfect.�
�Really? Well, thanks again for this.� I took it off.
�Anything, for my favorite girl.� He pulled me into a tight hug.
Feeling as if I could cry I quickly changed the subject, �So we gonna have fun this week?�
�You mean 3 days? But yeah, we�re gonna kick it.�
�3 days!� I exclaimed. �That�s it?!�
�Didn�t I tell you that before?� He questioned.
Thinking back I shrugged, �Maybe, I dunno. Oh well, we�ll just �kick it� for 3 days, not biggie.�
�Whatever, let�s just forget bout it, besides we�ve got something to talk about.� His fingers linked with mine.
�Like?�
�Well, I�ve been thinking and I�m totally cool with you sleepin my room and all but maybe you could have a few rooms of your own, I mean, I definitely have some to spare�. At least 3 upstairs.�
�Really? That�d awesome.� I smiled brightly at his idea. Bout time, I thought.
�Yeah, I figured it�d give you something to work on too.�
�So� I can like decorate and-�
�Buy furniture, pictures, carpet, whatever your little heart desires, anything.�
�I can�t wait to start it all, you gotta help me think and plan out how I want it to look.�
�First, let�s go take a look and find those rooms.� He headed upstairs. So I followed him still holding the wig in my left hand.
*******
Upstairs
�Damn Ju, got enough?� I questioned by the time we searched the 4th room.
Shrugging he replied, �Guess so.� and opened the door to the bedroom right across from his, all the way at the end of the hall. This one was different from the others, it had a sky light that seemed to dominate everything else in the room, including his furnishings.
�I personally��
�I want it!� I shook off my awe covered _expression long enough to glance over at him.
�Then, it�s all yours, but you have to promise me something?�
�Huh?� Still taken back by the view of the stars I added, �Anything.�
�You�ve gotta pick out at least 2 more rooms., I know they all suck now because this room defiantly down sizes the rest, but seriously, just 2 or more, I don�t care.� Justin walked in front of me to block my view.
�Right, two more, uh-huh.� I slowly turned around and headed for the door.
The 2 other rooms I settled for were still pretty cool. One had a perfect view of the mountains and the other was a second master bedroom, complete with a full bathroom and all. Neither one of those had been furnished or painted, I figured it they weren�t just because Justin really didn�t had a significant use for them, but now that was all taken care of and in my hands.
*******
Little sounds echoed from the modem and I signed online. It was 4:15am but I was psyched over decorating those 3 rooms and I just had to search for paint and carpet. They were gonna be cute, I knew it.
�At least now I�ll have some place to call my own in this damn house.� I thought to myself as I typed �paint� into AOLs search menu.
Justin was in a weird mood before we went to sleep. He wasn�t very talkative and seemed to be dwelling upon something. His moods always made me wonder but not enough to ask him what was wrong. I didn�t know why I never bothered with it, I guess that I just wanted him to tell me himself. Things had been changing between us, when we�d talk on the phone it was usually about something important, such as a business meeting with some kind of manager he had the next day, or what club he�d be goin; to, or how many times he�d mess up his dance routine. It always seemed to be about him, even though I loved to hear what he had to say, I was slowly getting aggravated that I no longer had anything of importance to talk about too.
�Maybe I should just get outta the house a little more,� I�d tell myself, �Maybe, I�m just ment to be there for him.� Those lines would repeat themselves over and over again until I�d make up a new solution, either way my solutions were never a valid answer and deep down I knew that I couldn�t keep telling myself those things.
�Oh sweet! They�ve got the paint I want!� I said excitedly under my breath as I scrolled through a local paint stores gallery. I didn�t have Justin�s credit card to order it so I just saved the web page under �My favorites� and continued to search. By 5 �o�clock I had gotten bored and decided to head back upstairs.
When I got to the side of his bed I noticed that Justin was rolling around.
�Hey Jay.� I whispered as I slid under the blankets.
�Hey� where were you, I flipped over on my side and you weren�t here?� He questioned.
�Downstairs.� I replied.
�Doing?� His arms wrapped around me.
�Nothin��
�Na-uh, you�re up to something.� Justin smiled.
�No I�m not, I was online looking for paint.� I said.
�Did you sign under my name?�
�Yes.�
�Did you email anyone?�
�No.�
�You sure?�
�No, I�m just lying to you for no fuckin reason!� I snapped.
�Sorry�. I was just checkin.� He pulled away from me, releasing a sigh.
Rolling onto my side I mumbled, �It�s ok.�
�No, it�s not.� He put his arm around my waist again and buried his head into my neck.
�I�m fine.� I shrugged him off.
�No you�re not baby, you just pushed me away.� His arm relocated itself back onto me as if it wasn�t a big deal.
�And I�ll do it again if you don�t let me go!� I shouted as I snatched up his arm and pushed it away.
�Ok. Ok, I won�t touch you, my God.� He scooted all the way to the other end of the bed.
�I don�t understand you sometimes Sarah. The smallest things seem to bruise your ego. I never know when you�re gonna snap or smile.� He sighed, angrily.
�We wouldn�t be fighting or whatever in the hell you call this if you hadn�t been so damn persistent with asking me what was wrong.� I replied. It was a few moments before he said anything.
�Alright, let�s stop.� He said very down to the point, taking time to speak each of the words.
�Fine! I�m goin� back to sleep.� I mumbled.
�Fine,� Justin yawned, �Me too.�