only hope*
chapter 10
When I got to Justin�s room I sunk into his bed and tried to focus on what I should do or should have done. Maybe he was right, maybe I should have talked it over with him right then and there, but obviously I wasn�t in the state of mind to have a rational conversation just yet. I figured that he was sorry, what was the sense of him lying about it anyway? It wasn�t like I could �dump� him, I was stuck there in that house, in the shadows no matter what. I didn�t admit it myself right then but I knew it was true. Was that his whole plan? For me to be� his� no, it couldn�t have been. My own thoughts cut deep into reality. �Justin isn�t like that.� I told myself, �He loves me.� I allowed myself a good 20 minuets to concentrate on a plan. I decided that in order to �win� my trust back Justin would have to prove it to me that he was faithful. If in fact he was then it�d be no problem but if he wasn�t this was his time to make it up to me.
�Sarah, can I come in, please?� I heard Justin�s head miserably thump on his door.
Sitting up I answered, �Go ahead.�
Walking towards the bed he smiled, �I was wondering how long you weren�t going to talk to-�
�I�m still pissed off.� I said bluntly, not wanting him to think that I had put it in the past just yet.
Sitting down he replied, �I know� but-�
�But? I don�t wanna hear what you have to say right now, there�ll be a time for that. Look, you�ve lost my trust. Sorry to say that, I know that I don�t have full proof that you messed around or anything like that, but when I�m in the predicament where I can�t just throw my hands down and walk away I need you to prove to me that you didn�t cheat on me, or if you did, I need to be some how assured that you won�t do it again. There�s no guide lines. It�s all up to you. The balls in your court Justin, not mine. Until then, I just live here, we don�t kiss, we don�t converse, we don�t do ANYTHING, got it?�
He just sat there, picking at his nails. I knew he was thinking of something to say to make it alright, but no matter what, I wouldn�t let it be over with just like that.
�Got it.� He mumbled, then grabbed my hands and added, �I�m sorry.�
�I know.� I sighed and fumbled with one of his pillows.
Watching me he said, �Hey, you know, since we can�t kiss, converse, or do ANYTHING, maybe it�d be a good idea if you slept in your own room. After all, it does have a bed now.�
�Maybe I just will.� I tossed the pillow at the head board and walked out of his room.
*******
The room with the sky light was the one that he decorated for me, it was my favorite and was even more beautiful than I had planned it to be. The walls were a dark red-ish color and had a cream colored wallpaper bordering. The theme of the room was roses, all over. Dried roses, framed roses, and living bouquets of roses. All red. I loved it, loved the view, loved the d�cor and most of all loved the bed. It was a full-sized bed covered with silk sheets and a canopy draped with cream, red, dark red, and white sheer cloths. It couldn�t have been prettier.
Running my hand across the elegant curtain I smiled. I wanted go throw myself on top of Justin and shower him with kisses and thanks, then again, what was I thinking? �I might as well just go to sleep.� I sighed, laying across the bed. �Not like I�ve got anything better to do.� Sleepiness didn�t fall upon me too fast, I was to caught up in how awesome the room looked, but when my eyes closed I was out like a light.
*******
The next morning
December 5th
When I woke up there were flowers all over my room, everywhere. Not just roses either, carnations, babies-breath, lily of the valleys, any flower that you throw into a vase was in there. Taking in a deep breath of the sweet air I smiled to myself. What a way to way wake up. I thought. It must not have been easy to haul in all those flowers without waking me up. I wanted to thank Justin, but I knew that�d be giving in way to quickly, so for most of the day I just stayed in my room and made sure I was no where near him.
*******
That evening
Don�t look at me. I thought to myself, directing the comment towards Justin. I was still pissed off and it wasn�t like one stupid trick would change that. The 2 of us where apart all day except for then. I went downstairs to grab a can of Mountain Dew and to go work out and Justin just happened to be doing the same thing.
�Here.� I handed a can over to him and briskly walked away.
�Thanks.� He hollered.
�Uh-huh.� I replied, heading into the weight room.
I put my pop in the cup holder of the Treadmill, then began to stretch. By the time I was actually running on the treadmill Justin was in there. After a moments time of his starring I had to say something.
�Ok, I�m working out, that doesn�t mean you gotta stand there and freakin watch me.� I panted over to him.
�I can look at you, I just can�t talk to you.� He smiled mischievously and sat down on his bench press.
�Fine, if you�re gonna be like that, Imma leave.� I shut the machine off, grabbed my pop and exited the room.
�Sarah��
�You can�t talk to me, �member?� I shouted, not even bothering to turn around and face him.
This wasn�t going to be all that easy to steer clear from Justin and I knew he was going to make it hard on me. Who knew how much he would be on my ass the next few days. Only time would tell.