Chapter Nine
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Inuyasha woke long before any of his travelling companions. He always
did.
As a half demon, he didn't need nearly as much sleep as they did.
Humans were so needy.
His amber eyes scanned the ground, falling on each of his comrades in
turn. He could already tell that the monk was going to have an interesting
wake up call. For all the riches in the world Inuyasha could not understand
why Miroku insisted on sleeping so close to her. All it ever got him was
mild concussions.
The molten depths swept onward and past the fire cat. They rested on
Kagome. A soft light came over them as he watched the miko sleep.
Her black silken tresses fell genlty across her face. Inyasha yearned
to brush them away, knowing that doing so would reveal her pale porclein
skin to him. Her plump pink lips beckoned to be kissed, and her thick
lashes rested across the top of her cheeks, curling slightly. Her chest
rose with everybreath she took, before falling back down again.
Before they had set up camp, Kagome had found a nearby creek and
managed to bathe. Her clothes were still dirty though as she didn't have
her bag. Inuyasha had left it carelessly in the cave he had cleared,
abandoning it when he discovered she was missing. The only thing that they
had with them were spare blankets that Sango and Miroku had thought to
bring with them.
Pain flickered across his eyes as the hanyou stared at her lips.
Yesterday those lips had kissed and been kissed. And it was not him who
recieved those pleasures from her. It was some damn kitsune that they had
no idea about. His chest tightened as he remembered Kagome's scent when he
had gone to get her.
He had thought that he was the only one who could make her feel that
way.
Inuyasha continued to watch her as the pain welled up inside him.
Fifty years ago he had lost Kikyo, now it seemed he was losing her. And he
knew that he didn't even deserve to put up a fight.
Kagome mumbled something in her sleep and rolled onto her back. The
raven tresses fell away and her pale skin seemed to glow in the dim light
of the pre dawn. Inuyasha sighed heavily as he leapt soundlessly from the
tree. Kiarara opened a crimson eye to peer curiously at him, but
contentedly closed it once again as if she had gotten some psychic message
from him.
He was going for a run.
Inuyasha sped off into the woods, pushing his body to move as quickly
as it could. It would take a couple hours to get where he was going. By the
time he returned the others would be awake, but it wouldn't be too late
into the morning if he kept up his pace.
He didn't deserve to put up a fight to keep Kagome. It didn't matter
how much he loved her, she deserved to be happy.
And he was obligated to Kikyo.
He had promised Kikyo that he would avenge her and he would go to
hell with her. He only needed to defeat Naraku.
But when he had made the promise to Kikyo, he had not known that was
going to come to love the dead miko's reincarnation more than he had loved
the tragic priestess herself. Inuyasha could feel offending beads of
moisture forming in his eyes and he furiously brushed them away.
Inuyasha was only a flash of red between the blur of passing tree
trunks to the naked eye. He continued through the forest, his mind sinking
into a depression.
Kagome deserved to be happy. She was only human and they had such
short mortal lives. She only really had once chance to live. He woulnd't
ruin it for her by taking her love away from her. No matter what he knew
that he would one day have to leave her. He didn't want to cause her that
kind of heart break. At least this way, right now, he could remain a close
friend to her and give her the love that a friend would.
He would have to be satisfied with that.
His silver hair flew out wildly behind him as wind whipped past his
face. He was almost there. The sun was beginning to filter its morning
colors through the trees.
He would only ever be a friend to the miko. No matter how much he
loved her and she loved him...That was what hurt the most. He knew that she
loved him. Kikyo had never really loved him, and he knew that now. She had
only loved what he could become.
Kagome loved who he was.
The beads of moisture finally broke past his emotional barrier and
began to trickle down his cheeks, only to be swept away by the force of the
air brushing past him as he ran onward.
He wouldn't stand in Kagome's way if he could help it. If she was
attracted to this silver fox youkai then he would do his best to stand on
the sidelines. It would be best for him and for her if she moved on from
him.
Maybe she would fall in love with this Youko Kurama.
Inuyasha couldn't deny how much that hurt.
His feet skidded to a halt in front of a cave. There was no sign of
the few tears he had shed. They had all been dried by the morning air. The
sun was now shining in filtered golden splashes through the forest. Its
warmth carressed his face.
But he still felt cold.
Cold because he was forbidden to love the woman that he cared for
more than life. Cold because he knew that he was going to have to watch her
fall in love with someone else.
Inuyasha slammed his fist against the wall of the cave.
Fate was cruel.
But he had to keep his promise. He owed Kikyo. It was his fault that
her life had been so tragic and short. He would kill Naraku and go with
Kikyo.
Kagome would move on and learn to love someone else.
It was the way that things had to be.
But it didn't make him hate it any less.
Inuyasha punched the rough stone exterior once more. This time the
force behind it caused his knuckles to crack painfully as a few of them
broke. The flesh covering them broke and blood seeped forth. For a moment
Inuyasha stared at it in morbid fascination. He could feel that familiar
tingling of his demon blood already taking over, healing his self inflicted
injuries.
Sure enough the blood was already thickening and slowing.
Clenching his hand in a tight fist the hanyou entered the cave only
to emerge moments later with something slung over his shoulder.
Eyes unusually emotionless and face set in a bitter expression,
Inuyasha ran back into the woods, heading in the direction that he had come
from.
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Back at the camp a young woman moaned in her sleep as she rolled onto
her side. A few stray tears fell down her cheek.
She looked like her heart was breaking.
But there was no one there to see.
Except for a pair of golden eyes watching her from afar.
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