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Blue Cow |
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Blue Cow is a traitor to her race, after the painful plastic surgery to distance herself from her race she has shamelessly cavorted around with NORMAL COWS, normal cows i ask you is that any way to act as a proper dignified sentient being |
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this is blue cow as a gmoo |
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Her career startet at the age of five in the little town of lylginny. She was spotted bullying her "friend" Martha, we have an account from martha here. A few years later she left Lylginny technical colledge with a B in Theatre studies, leaving here home town she set out to find her fortune in the wide world of the Humans. That was her first crime. |
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She left her town and soon found it hard to find employment, many employers had never heard of a gmoo before and refused to admit she was real, they said she was just a figment of their overstressed imagination or something the smoked in colledge is coming back to haunt them., They then asked her how she thought she could type, or file, or make coffee. one employer however thought it would be a plan to hire her and there, she had a job, allright not a very good job, but she just stood there while people looked at her, eat at Barneys the sign said so they did.
Where she lived however was a problem Craig the Hobo "Prince" said that she could sleep in his box but he smelt remarkably, well you know when you wake up and you find a horses head in your bed, well nothing like that more like a stagnant orange. |
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Here She is Hiding in the Corner |
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Keith however seemed like a nice guy, he achnowledged that she was real and she ignored the fact that he liked to bring back sacks full of items which screamed when you hit them. At work Blue cow was getting more and more famous peole ate at Barneys just to see her so she got a raise, and bought a bike. but she couldnt ride the bike as the board attached to her feet stopped her, but her increased fan base meant she was getting groupies, this got Keith jealous she got her guys for free whereas he had to bring his home in a sack and the morning activities were different as well. She cooked her groupies breakfast, he spent the morning mopping up and trying to get rid of the stains. This got to a point where Keith just snapped. He asked her for advice, this was her second crime, Keith followed the advice and so started the fifth Great killing of the Mormons |
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Blue cow quickly moved away from the house and after a lot of soul searching arrived at London, when i say soul seaching i mean eliminating anyone who could connect her with the crime, Keith had eliminated the town of Mumonsun and Dadwidunc before being taken down by a rather large chainsaw. It was about this time when she discovered television, it interested her greatly and she decided to do her own sketch show. Monty Python from a gmoos eyes, but she refused to tone down the blood content so it could be shown on television, but it got released on VHS and became an instant cult classic much like Sarah the horned Vampire and many other deeply disturbing films only accessable to those living in Holland. This also got her noticed not just by the police but a newly unfurling channel CITV, they saw that she had potential, or at least thats what most of them said, the others said nothing partly because blue cow had their voice boxes. |
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She gave them back eventually, well mainly okay sometimes she did, well not really, there was this one time when she gave back Martins voice box but to Vince, the problem was vince was dead, ohh well no worries eh.
Anyway thats not the point, the point is that she got her own show, and it was good, well at least thats what everyone said to her and they really thought the fame was getting to her.she led a drug addled like and this was effecting the ratings, they were increasing, so they kept her supplied with drugs and she kept on taking them. |
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This show however was only a tempory thing and soon the show finished and she found the only jobs she could get were with other washed up stars on weakest link celebrity special, she swore never to stoop that low but one day after a heavy night of partying she found she was on it. Screaming with rage she killed the audience and trashed the stage, the producers swore that they would make sure she never worked in showbuisness again. This is when the smelly brown substance hits the motorised cooling device in the form of libertarian lawsuits |
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This is when blue cow sort drastic measures, she investigated and fiirst blackmailed Rupert Murdoch over some stupid idea about a goose and a large tub of vaseline. This gave her the money she then went to Bouncy's Plastc surjery and booked herself in for an operation. That was the last she ever saw of her board except at he 2004 X-Games Where it was being used by the magnificant Chad Muska in the Street Competition Kicked everyones but. What blue cow was doing there however is a different question ,when asked she replied It is none of your buisness and prompltly demonstrated facial reconstruction surjery with a long 2 by 4 . After the surjery she changed her name to Marienne which she thought sounded very posh. After some minor work on radio she again applied for television, and through excessive use of a vice got a job on Eastenders it was her that shot Phil Mitchell and the producers thought this such a good idea they included it in the script. |
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The shooting however led to her dimissal from the show but she was soon picked up again as people realised what a talent she had for entertaining children. Her first appearance on blue peter was a failure as on live TV she ate the cate that she was supposed to be taking to the vet. they then realised that her talent was not in presenting but in acting and so she found her calling in a TV show called Story makers where she could eat as many cats as she wanted because they could just rerecord. she also went back to her old name and everything went back to normal. or so we think, look forward to further installments of the Blue Cow saga |
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