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November 2004
Nov 2nd
Yet another messed up weekend
Had a nice happy time when I got GTA: San Andreas
Then well...
Idk, it just went downhill
Ups and downs...
I'm FUCKING sick of them!
Wondering...
When will this end
Huh?!?!?!
When?!
Damnit
Why why why?
Not
Die die die!
Suicide!
Why why why?
Not
Die die die!
ANYWAYS
I'm gonna vote today
Yet another pawn in the game
I wonder...
What's it all for
I need to update today
6th hour, I might type more then
But I might not
So ttul till when ever
=\
Nov 2nd
Just typing again to say I voted!
:P
I didn't think there were that many things to vote on
President, Senators, Representatives, Mayor...
Alot!
And there was a thing for the school
So we are going to have a tax increase to pay for programs that the school offers
Cuz the pres and the state cut education
I think education is the most important thing
We need to teach the young
Teach them to be obedient to us
And who may you ask is us...
Hehe (evil laugh)
Don't ask, I may have to kill you if you know
ttul... obedient ppls
Nov 4th
I forgot to type yesterday
I was putting up thumbnails
I'm going to do more today too
I'm going to put up most of my pics and get more Final Fantasy ones
I'm also going to put up some animated ones too
^.^
We just started animation in Graphic Arts!
I'm gonna love it
I think I'm gonna make some stuff for my site... this site, lol
Well off to work I go!
Ttul ppl!
Nov 6th
GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!
Yeah, just kidding
:P
I talked to Alan
Hehe
I like his voice
Talking to people brings you closer to them
yuppers
I didn't have a pic of him, so I begged
And I got, hehe
He looks cute
^.^
But says that he's not
Hmm...
He's in denial
Just like me, I suppose
But ehh
Hmm... Virginia...
That's a ways away
Ehh, oh well
I'm really, really, incredibly tired...
I'll type later today or tomorrow
ttul my slaves... err... friends
hehe ^.^
Nov 8th
Wow it's monday...
The weekend was a blur
Put the CD in... take the CD out
Put the CD in... take the CD out
I wore my fuzzy blue shirt
I love it
^.^
I don't know what I'm doing...
Argh...
When did things get so complicated?
I'm gonna burn my hair
Rip out my eyes
Cut off my feet
Stab myself in my heart
Mutilation and suicide
FUN FUN FUN!
='/
Nov 8th
I'm back again!
I just wanted to type the funniest thing that happened today
I got a phone call
From my "aunt"
Lol, and it was really Cindy
She forgot my number, so she called the school to ask me for it
She's so funny
Oh!
I also gave Chris a ride home and to Ben's
Heh, that was... interesting...
ANYways...
ttul my obedient slaves
Hehe
Nov 8th
I'm worthless
Totally
I hurt people
I hate myself for that
I have no purpose on this earth
I don't think I can suicide
Yet it's all I seem to think about
I think I lost two of my best friends today
Because of my stupidity
I shouldn't be allowed to live
I serve no good purpose
And I burden everyone
Now to find my blade and cut...
That's the last thing I have left...
Nov 9th
Ich habe kein Leben
Ich habe Angst und bin allein
Ich will begehen Selbstmord
Auf Wiedersehen grausam Welt!
Nov 9th
Ich hasse mein Leben
Dennoch ich k�nnen nicht Ende es
Was ist mit mir falsch?
Nov 11th
Ich hasse ich selbst
Omg, lol
I typed something yesterday...
But I forgot to save it
Lol
On a sadder note...
The people on the farm where my cat is...
They said that they're gonna shoot him...
Unless I can catch him by this weekend...
And it's Thursday already...
Ich will mein Melfice
I don't wanna live without him
He's my baby
Just like a mother wouldn't give up her child
I wouldn't give up my Melfice
I raised him from a kitten
I love him
*crys*
Nov 13th
I've given up hope
I'll never see my poor Melfice again
I mean it doesn't matter...
I'm gonna suicide anyways
So seeing my baby again doesn't matter that much
Since I'm just gonna die
Right?
*cries*
Yeah, I guess so...
Nov 15th
The SkY fell from the SkY
someone slept
someone tripped and no one cared
someone fell and no one cared
someone screamed and no one cared
someone cried and no one cared
someone left and no one cared
someone lied and no one cared
someone lost and no one cared
someone hid and no one cared
someone died and no one cared
someone hurt and no one cared
someone cut and no one cared
someone burned and no one cared
someone broke inside and no one cared
someone suicided
And the SkY fell from the SkY
Nov 15th
Depression sinks in
Suicide is Painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please
The sword of time will pierce our skins
It doesn't hurt when it begins
But as it works its way on in
The pain grows stronger, watch it grin...
Suicide is Painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please
And you can do the same thing if you please
That and Last Resort
Nice depressing songs
Nov 16th
Hehe, I talked to Matt again
^.^
Yuppers it was fun
^.^
Nov 17th
Nothing really special today
Kinda depressing, like always
Had a show thingy in the gym
Some guys that are like strong
It was depressing
Hey, ya know, everything is depressing
Wait!
Not everything
I talked to Alan last night
^.^
It was nice...
Until he brought up something I didn't wanna talk about
And his phone went dead
And idk
I got really depressed after that
Just blah
Cut a lil and cried alot
Same as most days
Chris talked to him
Chris is funny
Usually cheers me up
Well yeah
That's all folks!
Nov 18th
I've been thinking lately
I don't know what I've been thinking about
But ehh
I think...
That...
I...
DON'T
Deserve
Anyone
I shouldn't have anyone to love
I'm not worthy of it
Ich wille begehen Selbstmord...
Someday... soon I hope
Until then I'll continue typing in here
Until then I'll continue this horrible, miserable, pathetic existance
*sigh*
I wish
Some things
Had never happened
Then I'd be more able to cope
I'd be more able to be happy
I'd be more able to live
I'd be more able to...
I don't know...
Oh well it doesn't matter
Nothing matters...
Nov 18th
I saw the fight I wanted to see!
Nicole vs Danielle
Too bad the teachers broke it up
I wanted to see a fight so bad
Maybe...
Aww, nevermind
But anyways, it was so cool
Chris, Edgar, and I were walking to get a drink
And on the way back...
Fighting!
Purses fell to the ground
A school's calculator fell and the lid came off
Hair pulling
Punching
Slaming into lockers
Teachers getting hit some
Oh the tension in the air
The excitement
The furiousity
It happened too fast though
I wanted a long drawn out fight
I wanted a clear winner
I feel kinda good
And kinda bad
Cuz I helped partake in this
I make Nicole mad at Danielle even more
I knew it was coming
And I'm happy that I got to see it
I wonder if the tension will still be there
I want to see more
I wonder if there will be a rematch
Without teachers interrupting
I want to see blood...
Nov 18th
Wow today is just a exciting day
After school
I took Kim to her house to get stuff
Then took her back to the school
I got gas
I took Chris home to get his bag
We went to Edgar's house
Where Ella and Edgar were gettin close
And we listened to music for awhile
Ella went to her Piano lesson
We went to watch a movie
I was sitting on Chris's lap
And we were making out
And Ella and Edgar were making out
Chris frenched me
And then he FINALLY asked me to go out
And then I had to go cuz I was late
And when I got home
I took my bookbag outta my car
And I noticed that Chris' bags were still in the car
And then I got in the house
And my mom told me Cindy (Ruby) called me
So I called her back
And we talked
Then Chris called to ask where my house was
He called using Cindy's cell phone
So I told Cindy (Ruby)to call Cindy's cell
But Chris had already left with Edgar to come here to get his bags
So me Cindy and Cindy (Ruby) were talking for awhile
Then Cindy had to go
So then I was just talking to Cindy (Ruby) for awhile
I walked out to the road so that Chris and Edgar could see where I lived
And they came and he got his bags
And Cindy (Ruby) talked to Chris for a lil while
Then she talked to Edgar for a lil while
Then the Asshole came
And they left
And then Cindy left to go online
And then I started typing this, lol
Ttul ppls!
Nov 20th
So confused
So alone
I'm not really alone
It just seems so
When I finally accept that...
I doubt I'll even have any friends left
I cried and cried
I thought I couldn't cry anymore
Yet I'm crying again
Insults galore
Hurt me more
='/
Nov 20th
CUTS AND SCRATCHES!
BURNS GALORE!
YOU HURT ME!
I HURT MYSELF MORE!
I CUT
I BLEED
HOPEFULLY
I CAN GET RID OF THIS PAIN
I WANNA SCREAM
I CANT FUCKING TAKE THIS ANYMORE
BUT NO ONE'S LISTENING
NO ONE REALLY CARES
SO YA KNOW WHAT?
I DON'T FUCKING CARE ANYMORE EITHER
I MIGHT AS WELL NOT EVEN EXIST
Nov 21th
Wow...
Went to Chris'
Got roped into taking his lil bros' to a show
A strong man show
Which turned Christian
It was messed up
I held his hand almost throughout the whole show
I felt safe
It was nice
I saw an old friend there too
I think he noticed me
But I'm not sure
Anyways it was pretty fun
Then we went searching for Justin's place
But we couldn't find it
So we left town
The kids were telling me to speed up
I cave to pressure
So I did
I got up to a point where the speedometer was pointing straight down
It was fun
Got to their place
Chris and I went up to his room
Watched TV and cuddled a lil
Then I went home
Listened to some nice depressing songs
I was a lil down, but not like really down
And I'm kinda in a good mood now
Like content
It's nice
I said "It's nice" a few too many times lol
But I'm going to go to sleep
Gonna start Blood Canticle tomorrow cuz I finished Pandora
Good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bedbugs bite
=)
Nov 22nd
No time to type
No time to be happy
No time to be sad
Working on site today
Type later
TTUL pplz
Nov 23rd
I hate life and it hates me
ya know...
I think I need a better outlook on life
But ehh
That takes time and effort that I just don't have right now
I'm so exausted that I can barely get through one day
When is this ever gonna end?
Soon? I can only hope
Hope?!
Hah!
Hope is for people with faith
With belief in something
The only belief I have...
Is that I'll wake up in this nightmare yet again tomorrow
Yeah, lame huh?
Oh well, I don't really care
Now I think I'm just typing for the sake of typing
If I didn't have something to do
I'd go nuts
I can barely stand it now
I'm tired
I should sleep
But I don't want dreams damnit
>.<
Nov 26th
Woah, it's been a few days
Been trying to get music up on my site
Not working too well tho
Nov 26th
Omg...
I went to Chris'
Woah, fun
And strange
Interesting
Yeah, I know I'm skippin the best part
LOL!
Anyways it's one of those...
I like it... yet I don't things
If you know what I mean
If you don't...
Then I guess you just don't
HARD MIKES PWNZ
Jasminey had a box elder bug named Georgiepoo that scared Turtle!
LOL!
MEIN HERZ BRENNT!
omg alcohol is so much a depressant
that expalins why i feel like hsit now
ttuls from the drukard bia
Nov 29th
Oh yea I forgot to type...
That I got Chris' ring on a necklace
w00t
=D
In French the teacher couldn't hear us
(n.b. The class, like German class, is over televisions)
So I wrote "Wir Horen sie," "We hear you"
And to my surprise she knew it
She got really pissed
She totally cannot control us
I think it's hilarious
Anyways I gotta go to German
ttul my nice slaves ;)
Nov 29th
Kat came to the school
We talked alot
She's pregnent
I can't believe it sheesh
And the messed up part...
It's not her bf's kid
It's her ex's
XD
Well I'm supposed to call her
Go party with her
Alcohol and weed
Fun fun fun
Heh...
well yea that's it
type to ya's laterz
Nov 30th
I hate life and it hates me
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