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"Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them."
"Did you ever notice they never take any fat hostages? You never see a guy coming out of Lebanon going: I was held hostage for seven months and I lost 175 pounds, I feel good and I look good and I learned self-discipline. That's the important thing."
"I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with."
"I will not bond. I will not share. I refuse to nurture."
"I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?"
"Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list."
"The best pitch I ever heard about cocaine was back in the early eighties when a street dealer followed me down the sidewalk going: I got some great blow man. I got the stuff that killed Belushi."
"There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid."
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