W. C. Fields's Quotes

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"Start every day with a smile and get it over with."

"I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees."

"Everything I do is either illegal, immoral, or fattening."

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally."

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