Having trouble deciding what operating system is right for you? Trying the figure out your level of computer expertise? Just take my simple personality quiz, and it will tell you what kind of OS you should install (or have installed) on your computer.
Question 1: When you open a new board game, do you:
A) Brag to your friends about how good you are at this game even though you've never played it;
B) Immediately start playing and only consult the rule book when you and your friends get in a fight over who's cheating;
C) Start rolling the dice and moving your pieces random numbers of spaces, because who needs to look at dice to have a good time?
Question 2: If your car starts making strange noises, do you:
A) Quickly take it to the mechanic, because he's a qualified professional and you don't mind paying the inflated prices for a job well done;
B) Open the sucker up and start fiddling with it, because you used to play with Legos, and how different could it be?;
C) Immediately call your mommy/daddy and cry until they take it to the mechanic for you.
Question 3: What is your favorite video game?
A) Galaga, because you love blasting those alien bastards;
B) Q*Bert, because it takes a real man to outhink the enemy;
C) Pong, because it makes that funny sound whenever the ball hits the paddle.
Question 4: If somebody is "talking trash" about you, do you:
A) Talk trash right back, and see who can out trash-talk the other;
B) Roll your eyes, walk off, and later laugh about it with your friends, who were also verbally abused;
C) Tell them that you know they are, then ask what you are.
Question 5: What's your favorite band?
A) Limp Bizkit
B) Powerman 5000
C) John Tesh
Question 6: How many people are you currently involved with romantically?
A) Three, if "romantically involved" means you made out at that party last week;
B) Four, if you count people on ICQ;
C) One, and that's enough, thank you.
Question 7: What's your favorite TV show?
A) Anything on MTV;
B) The Lone Gunmen, and even though it was cancelled you still have all the episodes on tape;
C) Reruns of "The Cosby Show."
Question 8: How well did you do in art class?
A) Failed, but only because the teacher didn't like your drawings of dinosaurs shooting M-16s at each other;
B) C minus, but who needs to know how to draw anyway?;
C) B plus, and you've still got the picture of the kitty you drew on your refrigerator.
Question 9: If suddenly confronted by a carnivorous monster from outer space, would you:
A) Throw things at it and yell "Get the fuck off my planet!" until it devoured you;
B) Realize that shooting it in the exposed area in the middle of its chest would kill it, but miss the shot and get devoured anyway;
C) Panic and run in circles until the monster wandered away to devour somebody else.
Question 10: What is your favorite color?
A) Red
B) Black
C) Anything pastel
Now, for every A you answered, give yourself three points. For every B, get two points, and for every C, get one point. Total them up, and consult the guide.
24-30: Windows user
You are impatient, brash, arrogant, and think very highly of yourself. You are the best there ever was, and you're willing to administer a severe smackdown to anyone who says otherwise. Despite an overall lack of useful knowledge or skills, you insist that you know the correct way to do everything, even if the correct way involves getting someone else to do it.
17-23: Linux user
Everyone is stupid except you. You have the brains and the technical know-how to get any job done, and if you take flak for it, it's only because everyone else is jealous. Despite a lack of personal hygiene, people skills, or muscle tone, you'll be President some day, because no one else knows how to do it right, and someday everyone will realize that.
10-16:MacOS user
You've never liked brainteasers, puzzles, or anything that puts you in competition with other people. You're timid, shy, and don't like loud noises or bright lights. Easily startled, you prefer to meander through life with nothing on your mind, letting others do all the hard work for you. After all, those Alphas work so dreadfully hard; you're glad you're a Beta.