Update - May 23, 2001
In honor of my newest Horrible Site, I'd like to go over a brief history of the events leading to this monstrosity. Let us begin:
Some unknown number of years ago, some guy in Japan starting drawing cartoons featuring characters with disconcertingly large eyes and freakishly colored hair. This became known as "anime," or, in the US, "japanimation." The Japanese used anime as a pretense for bad science fiction movies with contrived plots and painfully long dialogues on the ideals of morality as far as giant robots and mutant vampires are concerned. Not to be outdone, some American artist began drawing in the same style pioneered by the Japanese. This created a form of animation called "lame." Then, some people in Japan realized "Hey! We could draw anime, but make all the chicks naked!" However, they didn't feel right drawing anime without a science fiction theme, so rather than drawing ordinary pornography, they drew cartoons of girls being raped by monsters or aliens. This became known as "hentai," which means "pervert" in Japanese. As everyone knows, only the Americans have a greater appetite for cheap pornography than the Japanese (USA! USA!) and so hentai has now come to America, to thrill and disgust you.
Why explain all this? It is because I have, regretfully, found a website which makes something even as lame as hentai seem so much lamer. This site is not just pornographic artwork drawn by a couple of losers from America; it's poorly drawn pornographic artwork drawn by a couple of losers from America. These two even claim to get paid for the crap they spew out.
To show that I'm not a bad loser, I've posted my own hentai which took me an embarassingly long time to draw with Paint Shop Pro.
Update - May 15, 2001
Whoo! I'm out of school. Thank the maker, I was getting tired of class. Don't expect me to be here more often, though. Between sleeping, working, and playing video games, I don't have much time for updating my piece of crap webpage.
In the Dallas Morning News, there's a single panel comic called Pluggers. I don't get it. When I saw it first, it seemed to be a rip off of Jeff Foxworthy's so very intellectual "You Might Be A Redneck If..." routine. As it turns out, a Plugger is, apparently, someone who breathes oxygen and whose cells contain carbon. The jokes are all sent in by readers, and none of them make any damn sense. But of course, who am I to criticise? I don't write a shitty comic, so I shouldn't be throwing stones at people who do. Actually, that's exactly what I should be doing.
Update - May 8, 2001
I really don't have anything to update with, but since it's been a full week since i last did so I felt compelled to update out of guilt. I've been busy taking finals, missing finals, and dreaming about hot chicks. The best part of the week, I would say, is the dream involving the hot chick. In fact, it's pretty much definately the best part of my week.
Since I don't have anything in the way of new material (gimme a break, I've been up for hours and it isn't even noon yet), I will leave you with the words of wisdom given to me buy a wizened old duck in a skirt: "Free...my favorite word!"
(Addendum: Why didn't somebody tell me half the preceding paragraph was in bold text? Don't you bastards even care?)
Update - May 2, 2001
I've read a lot of shitty books for various classes, but I think my least favorite is Black Robe by Brian Moore. Black Robe is the story of a Jesuit missionary who comes to the New World to preach to the Indians (or Native Americans, as some people who aren't me call them). Not only is it a thoroughly unenjoyable story anyway, but, upon seeing a young Frenchman and an Indian girl having sex, the Jesuit begins "to jerk furiously until his semen spurted, spilling onto the ground." Now, I'm not Catholic, and didn't really plan on converting, but that pretty much ensures that I won't. From now on I'll never be able to see a Catholic priest without thinking of a French guy whacking off, and they probably get mad when you burst into laughter during Mass.
In honor of my newest Horrible Site, I'd like to go over a brief history of the events leading to this monstrosity. Let us begin:
Some unknown number of years ago, some guy in Japan starting drawing cartoons featuring characters with disconcertingly large eyes and freakishly colored hair. This became known as "anime," or, in the US, "japanimation." The Japanese used anime as a pretense for bad science fiction movies with contrived plots and painfully long dialogues on the ideals of morality as far as giant robots and mutant vampires are concerned. Not to be outdone, some American artist began drawing in the same style pioneered by the Japanese. This created a form of animation called "lame." Then, some people in Japan realized "Hey! We could draw anime, but make all the chicks naked!" However, they didn't feel right drawing anime without a science fiction theme, so rather than drawing ordinary pornography, they drew cartoons of girls being raped by monsters or aliens. This became known as "hentai," which means "pervert" in Japanese. As everyone knows, only the Americans have a greater appetite for cheap pornography than the Japanese (USA! USA!) and so hentai has now come to America, to thrill and disgust you.
Why explain all this? It is because I have, regretfully, found a website which makes something even as lame as hentai seem so much lamer. This site is not just pornographic artwork drawn by a couple of losers from America; it's poorly drawn pornographic artwork drawn by a couple of losers from America. These two even claim to get paid for the crap they spew out.
To show that I'm not a bad loser, I've posted my own hentai which took me an embarassingly long time to draw with Paint Shop Pro.
Update - May 15, 2001
Whoo! I'm out of school. Thank the maker, I was getting tired of class. Don't expect me to be here more often, though. Between sleeping, working, and playing video games, I don't have much time for updating my piece of crap webpage.
In the Dallas Morning News, there's a single panel comic called Pluggers. I don't get it. When I saw it first, it seemed to be a rip off of Jeff Foxworthy's so very intellectual "You Might Be A Redneck If..." routine. As it turns out, a Plugger is, apparently, someone who breathes oxygen and whose cells contain carbon. The jokes are all sent in by readers, and none of them make any damn sense. But of course, who am I to criticise? I don't write a shitty comic, so I shouldn't be throwing stones at people who do. Actually, that's exactly what I should be doing.
Update - May 8, 2001
I really don't have anything to update with, but since it's been a full week since i last did so I felt compelled to update out of guilt. I've been busy taking finals, missing finals, and dreaming about hot chicks. The best part of the week, I would say, is the dream involving the hot chick. In fact, it's pretty much definately the best part of my week.
Since I don't have anything in the way of new material (gimme a break, I've been up for hours and it isn't even noon yet), I will leave you with the words of wisdom given to me buy a wizened old duck in a skirt: "Free...my favorite word!"
(Addendum: Why didn't somebody tell me half the preceding paragraph was in bold text? Don't you bastards even care?)
Update - May 2, 2001
I've read a lot of shitty books for various classes, but I think my least favorite is Black Robe by Brian Moore. Black Robe is the story of a Jesuit missionary who comes to the New World to preach to the Indians (or Native Americans, as some people who aren't me call them). Not only is it a thoroughly unenjoyable story anyway, but, upon seeing a young Frenchman and an Indian girl having sex, the Jesuit begins "to jerk furiously until his semen spurted, spilling onto the ground." Now, I'm not Catholic, and didn't really plan on converting, but that pretty much ensures that I won't. From now on I'll never be able to see a Catholic priest without thinking of a French guy whacking off, and they probably get mad when you burst into laughter during Mass.