Todd had been up on the roof a long time; it was getting dark. He sat up
on his favorite perch, an air conditioner unit. How had he got into this
mess? What was with these freaks and smacking his ass? Every time that was
their answer, if they don’t like what he does or says Pow right to the butt.
The sting in his seat had gone away a while ago but the sting to his pride
was there. He buried his head in his arms and tried to calm his mind and
repair the damage to his defensive wall that felt like it was about to tumble.
Todd wasn’t given that chance. He knew the moment Jared stepped foot on the
roof. He felt him.
“Leave me the fuck alone,” he nearly shouted out. It didn’t stop the tank and he didn’t really think it would.
“That’s not too smart. I could have been Brian.”
“I knew it was you.”
Jared walked up to the unit and looked up at the forlorn figure. His charge was really having a tough time, of his own making, but still a bad time of it. His voice was tight with an emotion Todd would never admit to. Jared swore he could hear tears in that snarly voice.
“Leave me alone, Jared.”
“Guess I should have warned you about Brian’s feelings on prophanity.“
“No shit, Sherlock.”
A smile tugged at Jared’s mouth. There was just no quit to Todd’s mouth.
“Well you know about it now, so you can avoid any more “discussions” about it. He’s just that way and with Jamie here, he’s even more touchy about it.”
Todd lifted his head, looking out into the night. “Hey, I know how to act around little kids, alright?”
He sounded so offended. Jared just nodded at him and changed the subject. “How’s the chest?”
“Fine.”
“Jan said it was pretty bad.”
“I said it was fine.” Todd never turned his eyes from the horizon.
“C’mon back inside. Dinner is almost ready.”
“Fuck that shit. I ain’t hungry.”
“Todd, you better watch those F bombs.”
Jared was cut off from what he was about to say by Janet’s voice. “Boys, dinner is almost done. Why don’t you come in and clean up.”
Todd looked from Jared to the silhouette in the doorway in aggravation.
Jared leaned near and spoke quietly but very seriously. “Ansley, you want to add hurting her feelings to your mistakes with Brian?”
At the defeated look on Todd’s face, Jared softened. “She’s made a special dinner for you, Todd.”
“Why? She don’t know me.”
Jared waved at Janet. “We’re coming! Maybe she just wants to do something nice. People do that from time to time you know.”
Jumping down from his perch, Todd glared at Jared. “Fine, I’ll go in like a good little bitch.”
Jared grabbed Todd just as he went to pass and spun him roughly around. “Tone down that attitude, Ansley.”
Jerking his arm out of Jared”s hold Todd headed back for the door. “Why? Brian gonna kick my ass at the table if I don’t?”
Todd had an idea what the answer would be but he was too mad to care.
The answer he did get chilled his temper. “ No, Ansley. I will.”
Brown eyes narrowed at Jared skeptically. The tank’s green eyes held only
promise in them. “Janet is a sweet lady. That kind of disrespect I won’t put up with.”
Todd turned and just headed back downstairs. Jared guessed Todd believed
him, which was a good thing.
Todd got up from his bed; he was waiting till the last minute to leave its privacy. He came straight from the roof to change into a different shirt. His still had stains from the soaping Brian gave him. He looked at himself a long time in the dresser mirror. He saw himself cleaner than he was used to, nicer clothes that fit his skinny frame a little better, but still himself a man. Why did these people refuse to see what he saw? Shoving away he made ready to go make nice.
*Shit this sucks*.
When he came out, dinner was ready and the table set, the smell was wonderful. As good as the food was and it was really good, he had trouble enjoying it. Dinner was long and agonizing for Todd. These people talked during dinner, drawing it out with boring conversation and nosey questions. He felt weird and uncomfortable with the attention he was getting and the chitchat. He couldn’t help the nervousness at the table and it stole most of his appetite, when asked if he could eat at the counter Jared firmly said no. What he really wanted to do was leave the room all together. Brian watched Todd play with his food and fidget all through dinner. He nearly said something, but Jared kicked him and gave him a negative nod and Brian let it go. Watching Brian with his son killed what little appetite Todd had. Brian held Jamie in his arms like he was gold, laughing at
the silly things the brat did with his food. He hated the way it brought out
feelings from the dark places he had stashed them long ago. Once dinner was
done, Todd got up, cleaned his plate, mumbled thanks to Janet for the dinner
and left the room quickly. Brian’s deep voice froze him in his tracks.
“Todd. Don’t go far there’s desert coming.”
Turning his head slightly back toward the kitchen. “No, thanks.”
Todd had been in his room for a while, just lying on his bed when Brian walked in with a plate and a glass of milk.
“What do you want?”
Todd expected Brian to blast him for his attitude, expression or just
breathing wrong. Instead the huge man just smiled kind of weird at him
and gestured with the plate.
“Peace offering. Janet made a favorite. Banana cream pie with lots of real
bananas.”
Todd stared at Brian like he’d never seen the man before. The human
wall was all nice now and it made funny feelings run down his spine, messed up
his danger radar. The plate with a huge slice of whipped cream-topped pie was
handed to him with a smile. A smile so much like Jared’s.
Looking at the pie, all kinds of thoughts ran through his mind. Brian just chuckled softly at him. “Kid, you can think about tossing that at me all you want. But there is a difference between thought and action, a big difference. One will get you in hot water over your head.”
Todd just rolled his eyes at him and fiddled with the fork. Clairvoyance
must be a family trait. A huge hand ruffled his hair, annoying him to no end
as he tried to duck the hand.
<Sigh>
“What?”
“You’re still upset about earlier. Aren’t you?”
“Yeah, so what’s it to you?”
Brian sat down on the bed next to Todd, smiling warmly as Todd took a bite
of the pie. His puppy dog eyes closed in what could only be called bliss or
maybe pain. Brian guessed fresh pie was not readily available on the streets. What else had this kid missed out on?
“Jared told Jan you seemed to like bananas.”
Todd just nodded. He was surprised anyone noticed or cared enough to notice.
“Best you get in the zone is banana Jell-O if you’re lucky.” Todd said with a mouthful of pie. Color tinged his cheeks, unsure why he said anything.
Brian’s heart went out to Todd as he slowly savored the treat. Brian really
felt bad about how they seemed to clash right off the bat.
“We really got off to a bad start you and I.”
Todd’s shoulders moved in a shrug. “I’ll live.”
“I’m not your enemy, Todd. No one here is but I guess that is up to us
to prove that. But you’ll have to be willing to let us.”
Not sure what to say to that. Todd said nothing. Brian kept silent and
watched Todd play with his desert. Not wanting to add any more friction
to what already existed between him and Todd, Brian got up and headed for
the door, before leaving he turned.
“Good night, Todd. See you in a few days.”
“Not if I see you first.” Todd said around a mouthful of pie. Brian just shook his head and left. He didn’t take offence or the boy seriously. The sarcasm was dulled by the sheepish look Todd gave him. There was hope.
It had been a rotten day for Todd and the night would not get any
better. Jared came in after everyone left and was in the mood to talk. Well, Todd
didn’t want to at all. Not able to take any more of what he saw as prying,
Todd shot to his feet and walked out of his room leaving Jared in his
wake.
“Hey, look, Todd, we need to talk about some things like your appointment
tomorrow.”
Jared could see Todd was getting close to loosing his grip on his temper. With a dismissive wave, Todd stormed out of the apartment taking the stairs. Jared wasn’t worried about where he was going. Todd pretty much lived
in the garage these days. He’d been a royal pain lately. Jared had attributed
that to his new life here, an adjustment period if you will. Outwardly it
seemed Todd was at least trying to give it a chance. Jared was not fooled.
The kid still had his backpack packed and ready by his desk, Jared used that,
as a gauge to Todd’s acceptance of his situation so far there was none. Todd
wasn’t so much cooperating as he was stuffing his feelings to the point
of choking on them. Jared saw through Todd’s pretense easily enough.
Todd’s attitude the last couple of days was straining the last of Jared’s
ample supply of patience. Todd had tamped down his own temper so much that
even a tantrum would be welcome, almost. At least that was something Jared
knew how to deal with. Right now he had no clue what was cooking under that cold veneer Todd had. The tension Todd brought on himself with Deek and
Brian, topped with the appointments Jared knew he was forcing on the kid was
not helping Todd’s temperament. He had been sour and snarly. Snapping so
much Jared was surprised he still had a hand. Jared half expected to pull
back a nub each time he reached out.
Jared walked away from the large window he was contemplating out of and headed for the elevator. Todd could definitely be labeled as contents under pressure. Perhaps it was time for a little pressure release. This evening will end with a compromise or a sore rear end for a certain young man. Jared was flexible either way.
He walked into the garage and found Todd sitting on a stack of spare tires. Jared hung in the shadows. He didn’t know what he expected but he was not prepared to find Todd like this. Todd was unaware of his presence.
The boy was very upset. His head in his hands, small sounds came from him.
His breathing was hitched but it wasn’t sobs, more like angry hiccups as he
fought for control over them. Todd raised his head back against the wall and
was clearly struggling with his emotions. The expression on his face was like a silent scream. His eyes were watery with angry tears. Next thing Jared knew a wrench landed near his feet.
“FUCK!”
Picking it up he stepped out of the shadows. “It’s a wrench not a boomerang, no return flight.”
Startled, Todd wiped at his eyes quickly to hide any wetness. Jared walked
up to him and wouldn’t let Todd turn from him or hide his face. He held
the clenched jaw in his hand with gentle firmness. Using the pad of his
thumbs he wiped under the wet lowered lashes.
<Sigh>
“Todd”
“Stop treating me like a kid. I”m not a fuckin’ kid I keep telling you
fuckin’ people that. But none of you fuckin’ listen! FUCK! I’m almost
18 for fuck’s sake!”
Todd jerked angrily away from Jared and rubbed his eyes and runny nose
wth the heal of his hand wrapped in his sleeve cuff.
“Guess ol’ Brian is loosing his touch. I’d think a soaping like you got
earlier would tone down the temptation to drop any more F bombs.”
Shooting Jared an ugly look. What the hell is an F bomb?”
“That’s what Jan calls your favorite word. Brian hates it and I’m not
overly fond of it myself. So unless you want a rinse and repeat, I’d lay off
for a while.
Todd glared at Jared and just sat back down on the tires. I’m not a kid why won’t any of you see that, see me. I’m 18 damn it or close enough to it. Just treat me like a man!”
Jared leaned against Todd’s workbench and pinned Todd with his stern
eerald gaze. Stop acting like a brat and tossing a temper tantrum whenever things don’t go your way,” Jared countered.
Brown eyes rolled in disgust as Todd crossed his arms over his chest in exasperation. Unaware of the infantile pose he struck. He hated it, how Jared could stay so cool in a tense spot and make sense infuriated Todd to the point of boiling. Jared had to swallow a grin at how Todd’s actions for all his declarations of being a man just proved the opposite, poor kid was just fighting himself.
“I do see you, Todd, I do. <sigh> The problem is you don’t .You think just because you have an 18th birthday, the testosterone fairy just shows up and beats you over the head with a wand and boom you’re a man. ‘Fraid not, kiddo. It takes more than that. More than a few birthdays, more than having sex or living out on the street. Manhood. Hell, adulthood takes training, years of training.”
“Training? Who do you think you are, fuckn’ Yoda?’ Jared put his stern face right into Todd’s belligerent one.
“No. I’m the man who will kick your skinny, disrespectful, Skywalker ass if you don’t lose the attitude. Where did you hear about Star Wars?”
Todd’s reference to something as ancient as the Sci-fi story surprised
Jared. Todd, picked rocks out of the tire treads in agitation, shrugged.
“Claire, she was a Tekie or somethin’ weird that. She used to tell me
stories and had some movies. What has that to do with anything?”
His tone was petulant but Todd’s posture was subdued.
“Not a thing, I’m just surprised you know anything about it. Look, Todd, I know we have had this conversation before. I guess we will continue to have it until you understand. What you need to understand is that, yes, at 18 one becomes responsible for oneself, that’s true. Usually, for some. For all the years you’ve been on your own and you have done a miraculous job, Todd. You have. But you haven’t learned anything, but survival.”
This earned Jared a very dark look.
What you’ve done as a little kid to survive isn’t enough now and you know that. Todd, there is so much more to life than just survival. Your options out there on the street as a, for sake of argument, young adult are few and usually dangerous and destructive. Times are changing and for the better. Your stuck in the dark ages, kiddo, and without some guidance that’s not going to change.”
Todd glared hotly at Jared a moment then lowered his head to hide his anger.
“Hey, don’t get all up set now, that’s not a slam, just a fact. If I just let you go, what then, the streets? Back to the zone? More likely in a camp. You get caught and you’re stuck there till 21, then you do a minimum of 3 years in the guard. You told me once that you dream of owning your own cycle shop. You go to a camp and you can kiss that dream goodbye. The closest you’ll even get to a bike is the motor pool, maybe. No competitions, no games. Well not till your 24 anyway. Todd, they don’t take shit from anyone. You pull one of your tantrums and they aren’t going to just deal out some corporal punishment, which by the way they do. So you won’t be avoiding that by any means. With your temper you can count on some deep phyc evals.”
Jared wasn’t trying to scare Todd so much as make him think about his situation. At this time with the way the world was, people who had deep mental trauma or physiological problems were isolated from the populous, in work camps and in extreme cases locked away in sanitariums. Thanks to the black out, mental health took a tremendous step backwards.
“They haven”t caught me yet.”
Not impressed with Todd’s arrogance Jared raised an eyebrow.
“I found you and they would eventually.”
Todd didn’t like that and his expression said so, but he kept quiet.
“Forget the camp scenario for the moment. As it stands now that dream
is light years beyond you even now living here. Todd, you can’t read.”
Todd felt attacked, his ears roared and he began to grown numb. Todd
didn’t raise his head, but Jared could see that Todd’s breathing grew shallow,
he picked at his lower lip as he stared unseeing at the floor like he had tuned
Jared out.
“You can barely write, you can’t work a computer or read a bank
statement. What makes you think you can run a business? It takes much more than even your mechanical abilities to make that dream come true.”
Todd lifted his head and he flashed Jared a wounded look as he got up
to leave. Not wanting to listen to this any more…it hurt.
“SIT DOWN!” Jared bit each word sharply, his tone meant serious business, Todd contemplated leaving but the icy green eyes changed his mind. Instead he flopped back down angrily and settled for glaring back.
“I’m not putting you down. These are the cold hard facts. You just don’t
have the tools, the skills to make it out there. You need help; you need to
be taught how to live, Todd. I want you to have your dreams and to have
them come true. If you meet me halfway there is a good chance they will. Is it so terrible that I care about you and want more out of life for you than the streets? Is it?”
That took all the fight out of Todd. He had no smart-assed answer for
that, no answer at all in fact. Jared took Todd’s silence as an answer
alone, and was grateful for the cease-fire.
”C’mon, it’s late and it’s been a long day, for you especially.“
Jared debated with himself on wHEther or not tell Todd now that there
was one more appointment this week. Bracing for Todd’s reaction he decided
now was as good a time as any.
“You might want to put in some extra time in down here tomorrow.”
Jared thought that was a nice intro.
“Yeah, why?”
“We have an early morning planned day after tomorrow.”
Todd looked at Jared with suspicion. “Yeah, like what?”
Keeping his expression bland Jared answered. “You have a 10:00 with Doc Roy.”
Todd stood up and his posture was unmistakably hostile. Jared waited
for it and was not disappointed.
“Fine. That”s great, just fucking great!”
Todd could see in Jared’s unyielding face the subject was closed. Todd
stalked off mumbling unkind things about a damn tank putting it’s
cannon were it wasn’t welcome. Jared shut the light off the work table and
followed at a slower pace, giving himself time to go over the reasons not to
kill the kid. By the time Jared got home he changed his mind and no longer
wanted to kill Todd. Instead he was rather impressed that all Todd did was act
like the teenager he was, a pissed off one but there was no throwing things
or hitting.
The penthouse was quiet when the doors opened, only the dim
hall lights were on when Jared walked off the elevator. There was light
coming from under Todd’s door. Tempted to knock, Jared changed his mind. So
far the evening had ended with a compromise albeit a problematic one. The plus
was Todd could still sit. Another small victory? Jared wasn’t that optimistic.
Todd paced in his room like a caged animal. That’s just how he felt ,
caged, trapped and frustrated nearly to the point of doing some damage to his
room. Unable to bring himself to do anything to the nicest room he could remember having, that and it would unquestionably bring the tank down on him, Todd turned the frustration inward by punishing himself with sit ups,
crunches and push ups using a chair to dip deep to the floor, he didn’t stop
till his arms burned and gave out. He was tempted to sneak out down to the gym
but he didn’t want to take a chance on dealing with Jared. Jared would
probably let him but he just wanted to avoid the man altogether right now. Lying on his bed breathless and exhausted to the point of pain, his anger spent and no longer felt like it was eating his brain. Too tired to undress, he was so tired.
*Stop fighting* The small voice in the back of his head was becoming bigger and a bigger pain in his neck. Todd just curled his legs up tight to his chest and drifted into stormy dreams. Very realistic dreams. He dreamt he was in a huge storm. The ground beneath him shook with explosions of thunder. Lightning flashed bright, he was cold and wet.
Wet? He snapped awake with a clash of thunder. Todd was disoriented and afraid. He was in the dark and all wet and very cold. He looked up and had to
blink his eyes against the rain. Rain? Lightning flashed close lighting up the
skyline and just seconds away was thunder so loud it made his ears ring.
*Oh fuck!*
He was outside! On the roof in a storm, shirtless. He stumbled back from
the edge and ran to the door but it was locked. Todd panicked, he had
sleepwalked on to the damn roof. He banged and kicked it.
“Jared! Somebody! Wake up, Jared! Open up, dude! Please! Wake up!”
Nothing. No one came. Lightning flashed right over his head, immediately followed by such an explosion it caused Todd to hit the ground. He
belly crawled away from the door to the brick equipment shed. He tried it’s
door. It was locked, too. His level of desperation was choking him. He could
not get a hold of his fear, he could not breath, his ears roared. Frantically
he tried pounding it with his hands, ramming the door with his shoulder,
kicking, it didn’t work and he only cracked the jamb a little but that was all the give the door would allow him. Todd cried out as another clap of thunder crashed overhead. Despair took a hold of him. Todd slid down against the building and curled up in a tight ball not caring he was practically in a puddle of water.
“JARED <choke> JARED!”
He just laid there in the rain too choked with panic to even cry.
Jared was suddenly wide awake. He lay there in bed listening to the
house. He could have sworn there was a thumping that woke him, now there was nothing. It was quiet. Looking over at the clock, it was 3 am. Getting
up he pulled on his jeans he left by the bed. Todd’s door was open and the
bed empty, a quick search found the house empty. Jared went into his study
and opened the cabinet that housed the security monitors. Nothing on them
but empty doorways and halls. He picked up the phone.
“Herb, yeah, it is early. Look I know you would have called me but have
you seen Todd, is he in the garage? No? <sigh> I’m not sure. Could you
back up the tapes to make sure, I know, just humor me okay?”
Jared carried the cordless phone and looked in closets while Herb
backed up the security tapes. Fifteen minutes and 5 closets later did not turn up any sign of Todd.
“No, don’t wake up anyone yet. I’ll call you back, there is one more
place I can check before I call in the heavy guns. Yeah, I’ll call you, thanks.”
Jared looked out his study window at the storm. Where the hell is that
boy.The hairs on his neck stood up.
“Ah shit, Jared!” He snapped at himself. Why didn’t he think of the roof first? He
grabbed his keys, flashlight and rain coat on his way out. He checked the alarm system by the stairway, he must have forgot to arm it before going to bed. There were no cameras between the penthouse and roof or on the roof so if Todd did come up here they wouldn’t know. Jared sprinted up the stairs two at a time, unlocking the roof door so it wouldn’t lock behind him he burst up onto the rooftop. The rain was coming down in sheets so hard it almost drove him backwards, the thunder was deafening, and Todd might be out in this?
“Todd! Are you out here? Todd answer me!”
Jared swung the flashlight frantically side to side. Horrible pictures of
Todd sleep walking off the roof, being struck by lightning, all kinds ran in
his mind. He cursed himself for not arming the door’s alarm as he shouted
unanswered for Todd.
“Damn it, Ansley!! Where are you?”
Two laps around the roof’s edge and nothing. Jared even made himself
look over it to see if Todd’s broken body was on the concrete walk below.
Nothing, Todd wasn’t at his favorite place either, he was about to give
up and call Deek when the lightning lit up the rooftop again, something
was over by the maintenance shed. Jared’s long strides had him across the
roof in seconds.
“Todd?”
Todd was curled in a fetal position, shirtless and soaked. “Thank God.”
Jared wasn’t exactly sure if Todd was awake or still lost to the dreams that sent him walking. Not sure what to do he gently reached out. At his touch Todd jumped and swung his fists and feet at him. He was awake sure enough.
“Todd! Todd, easy buddy. It’s me.”
Backing up, Jared gave Todd some space. Frightened and disoriented Todd
leapt to his feet, not sure if Jared was really there or if he just wanted it
so badly his mind was messing with him.
Jared took in the figure in front of him. Shivering, shirtless, the black
tattoos stood out on the pale skin. Rain-plastered hair hung in overly large
eyes. The boy was terrified, it was just a rainstorm but Todd was
nearly mindless with fear. He’d seen Todd like this before, in the cabin when
he found him huddled in a closet and it was during a storm. Jared backed
up another step so the pressure was off Todd. Huge brown eyes blinked and
the dark wings above them puckered.
Jared slowly opened his arms wide, like he does for Jamie to run into
them.
“Shhh…Easy…It’s okay, Todd, C’mere, it’s okay.”
He wasn’t sure why he did it. The lost look of naked despair on the
Boy’s face perhaps, regardless of why, Jared was not prepared for the slight
figure to fling himself into those arms. Jared was so stunned he stood
there in the rain with his arms around Todd’s shivering body a moment. A clap
of thunder snapped him out of it and he wrapped Todd in his coat and quickly took him back inside. He rushed Todd straight to the master bedroom and into the master bath. Grabbing a towel he wrapped Todd in it tightly. Concerned by the dazed look on the pale face, he started the water in his large bathtub.
“Don’t move.”
Jared pulled out the phone from his coat pocket and called Herb. “Yes, I found him, long story. Yeah we’re fine. I’ll fill you in later, yeah, night.”
Turning his attention back to Todd, Jared laid him down on the shaggy rug,
there was no resistance at all, he seemed a thousand miles away. Jared removed the soaked shoes and socks. A strong sense of deja vu hit him. It took some yanking to remove the wet denim and underwear. Todd just lay there shivering arms wrapped tightly around himself. As soon as he was naked Todd curled up in a ball. When Jared tired to pry open Todd’s arms he just squeezed tighter.
“C’mon, kid, snap out of it, we need to get you into the tub. Don’t you want to get warm, Todd?”
The only response he got was silence. Very worried now, Jared removed
his own clothes and picked up Todd’s knotted body and sat them down in the
giant tub with Todd on his lap, he then hit the tubs jets. The noise startled Todd and he jerked to life. Jared had a time of it, holding the slippery body.
“Todd! It’s okay, it’s okay, your safe, calm down, your safe. Look at me!”
That sharp command cut through the panic clouding Todd’s brain. He stopped fighting, Jared could see the brown eyes actually focus on him, then looked around where he was.
“It’s okay. Do you know where you are?”
Todd nodded yes. Jared looked into the dark eyes that seemed clearer
now.
“How the hell did you get out there? Sleepwalk again?”
Feeling embarrassed and scared and angry at himself, all at the same
time, Todd’s throat tightened he had no voice so he only nodded sadly.
Long inky lashes drifted down over the sad eyes once, twice, on the third
time a tear slipped over the lower spikes. Then another and another, soon
tears were streaming down Todd’s face unchecked. Stunned, Jared wiped at
them only to have the tears replaced with more. Slowly Todd’s free arm
reached out for Jared’s shoulder, then the cold arm slid around his neck,
hesitantly. Jared sat perfectly still. A cold hand latched on to Jared’s warm flesh.
Todd tentatively buried his face against the large chest. Jared carefully moved his arms around Todd and held him gently. He could feel the slender shoulders as they shook. Not from the chills but from emotion, the only audible sounds Todd made were occasional gasps of air and sniffles. Todd was still choking on his control. Jared knew that, but somehow for whatever reason, Todd was allowing himself this. Jared just held Todd tightly and let Todd ride out his own personal storm. Later, after the water cooled and Todd was warm, Jared drained the tub.
Todd was as listless and docile as never before. The kid just seemed out of it. Jared just acted like this was a normal everyday occurrence as he dried Todd off, he was quick and efficient. There were no complaints as he wrapped up Todd’s naked body in a big fluffy towel. Jared steered Todd back to his own room and tucked him in his bed. Todd’s eyes were red and glassy with some puffiness to them and they never left Jared’s.
Flashes of lightning showed through the window blinds making him jump.
“It”s okay, Todd. You’re safe in here.”
“I know.”
Todd didn’t sound very sure of that at all. Jared pulled the chair from the desk over to the bed and sat down by Todd’s head. He smoothed the now damp locks of dark hair in place, Todd closed his eyes.
“There, that’s a good boy. You’re safe now. That’s it, just relax now.”
Aware that Jared was treating him like some lost puppy, not to mention a child, Todd didn’t have any fight left in him to tell him off and it wasn’t so bad, right
now.
“ Todd?”
“Humm?”
”Why are you so afraid of storms? You told me about your dad. Is it because of that?”
Todd opened his eyes. Jared for a second thought he had hit some fuse but Todd just looked at him. Nothing but tired sadness in his eyes.
“I don’t know. I’ve always hated storms as long as I can remember. Rain
is just a pain in the ass you just get, can’t travel in it. Lightning and thunder, I fuck’n hate it.”
“Any idea why?”
Todd closed his eyes again. “Don’t like the noise. Loud noises bother me. Fuck’n Stan took me shooting once. Left me in the car while he shot off rounds from the hood of the car.”
Jared continued to run his hand over Todd’s hair. “Stan? Your foster father?”
<snort> “Foster prick you mean. Yeah. I didn’t like the noise, it freaked me out, so he just left me in the car. Nothin’ to plug my ears with or nothin’. I was just a little kid, man.”
Keeping his tone level, Jared ignored his anger at this man. “Just that one time?”
“Yeah’ but it was for hours, I don’t want to talk about it any more.” A stray tear slid out from it’s fringed cage. Jared smoothed it away.
“Okay, Todd. That”s fine, go to sleep now.”
Jared traced the features of Todd’s face, soothing the boy, haunted eyes drifted shut, and the brow relaxed. Jared stayed with Todd until he was sure he was asleep. He got up to leave.
“Don’t…go.
There was an unmistakable plea in that request. Jared was bone tired and he had no doubt that Todd was as well.
“Please?”
He looked down at Todd’s bed. Just right for the kid but not for a man his size. Without a word Jared bent down pulled back the sheets and picked Todd up like a baby.
“Hey!”
“Quiet. Your bed is too small for the both of us and I don’t want to sleep in the chair, so unless you want to sleep alone in here, your sleeping in my
bed tonight.”
That explanation must have been enough for Todd. He didn’t say another word.
Later Jared looked down at the dark head he had snuggled against him. He never ceased to be amazed at the transformation that took place when Todd
was sleeping. His face relaxed in slumber, looked so very young. There was no trace of the cold, grimness it carried in the daytime. Now there was just sweet beauty, completely childlike, down to the hairless chin. Jared smiled at how that must rankle the little rebels pride.
Jared’s mood darkened thinking how unfair it was that this was the only chance he got to see Todd free of what emotional shackles kept him a prisoner locked behind that cold façade. Even this freedom Todd had between dusk and dawn were sometimes plagued with dreams that caused him to thrash around, dreams he refused to admit he had. Jared felt robbed, robbed of the pleasure of knowing what the undamaged, free-spirited Todd would have been like. It was selfish but
he couldn’t help it.
Brushing the bangs that fell across a face that bordered on the angelic, to Jared’s somewhat bias opinion, he placed a kiss on the top of the dark head. Promising him and the kid in his arms that one day they would both know that side of Todd, and drifted off himself. Jared slept lightly, ready to defend him from any more demons.
Jared was the first one up in the morning. Not so much by choice but by the fact that a certain guest kept stealing the covers, giving up fighting for them Jared just decided to get up and start his day. He really didn’t mind.
Todd, if he needed their comfort, was welcome to them. Poor kid had a rough
night. Jared showered and while dressing in the mirror, watched Todd
sleep. He was all twisted up in the bedding. His thick mop of hair was all that you could see of him. Jared walked over and couldn’t resist touching the stands
of chocolate silk. He could never get enough of it, how soft it was or how it seemed to have a life of its own as it curled around his fingers.
*Figures. Would be just your hair that accepts affection.* Jared thought ruefully to himself. Well it was a start. Smiling to himself as he left the room, at least he was starting at the top.
Todd woke up all tangled in the sheets. It took him a frustrating moment to unravel himself. Coming out of his cocoon, he found himself not in his room
but Jared’s. Last night and the storm came rushing back. He buried his face
in his hands. Bile burned in his throat. Not only did Jared now know that
Todd was some sort of freak, Jared would now think he was a whuss.
He’ll get no respect now, not after last night.
Todd got to his feet angrilly, catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he hated what he saw as a whimp, a weak loser.
“You fuck’n little puss. Grow some balls!”
Todd felt sick both physically and mentally. He had humiliated himself and
acted like the kid he keeps telling everyone he’s not. Going into his own bedroom, he got dressed. He got his shirt halfway buttoned when he froze.
“Aw shit.”
Did he really tell Jared that crap about Stan last night. “Rule number one, keep your fuckin’ mouth shut.” Todd reminded himself out loud. When he left his room his temper was on full boil…at himself for letting last night get out of hand, for himself to get out of hand.
“G’mornin’.” Jared’s cheery voice boomed when he walked into the kitchen.
“Is it?”
Todd’s tone and choice of greeting said otherwise. Jared watched him jerk open the fridge door and grab the milk jug. Something was eating him this morning.
“How are you feeling?”
“Fuckin’ peachy. Why?
Yeah something was definitely wrong with Todd. He was not usually so
antagonistic first thing in the morning, that usually was saved for lunch.
Todd lifted the milk to his lips and drank from the jug. That he had never
done, at least to Jared’s knowledge. Jared’s green eyes narrowed.
“Todd? Is there something wrong?”
Todd turned to stare angrily at Jared. He was taken aback by the near hate
reflected in the dark eyes. Jared had no way of knowing it was aimed internally.
“No. What the fuck could possibly be wrong?”
Todd just lifted the jug again.
“Todd don’t drink from the jug. Please get a glass. Something is bothering you.”
“You want to know what’s bug’n me? You! Your always fucking nosing
around in my shit! I’m sick of it. Sick of you and this place and your fuck’n rules!”
Jared was surpised by Todd’s rage, the boy was really angry. Standing up from the table Jared started to walk over to the kid hands raised in surrender.
“Calm down. Todd, just calm down and we can talk about.”
“I am so fucking tired of your shit! I don’t want to talk about anything with you! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!”
Todd hurled the milk jug at the cabinets. Todd and a large portion of the kitchen were showered in white wetness.
“Fuck!”
Stunned, Jared could do nothing but stare open-mouthed as Todd stormed out
of the kitchen. Todd walked into the foryer and then looked back, no tank?
Todd thought well he wasn’t sure what Jared would do but nothing was
not what he expected at all. Todd never heard or saw Mouse approach.
Mouse stepped off the penthouse elevator, there was Todd standing with his
back to him, and he was dripping in what looked like milk. Mouse walked up
behind him.
“Dude! What happ…”
Mouse didn’t get to finish his sentence. Todd spun and a fist plowed
right into Mouse’s nose.
Jared looked at his milk-drenched kitchen. Somehow he avoided the milk
bath, a trail of milky wetness led out of the kitchen. Well he might have been
spared but nothing was going to spare the kid from dealing with whatever brought this on. Until he found out whatever it was, Jared reserved any thoughts of murder for the moment. He stalked out of the kitchen after Todd.
Jared rounded the hall corner, just in time to see Todd punch Mouse right in
the face. When he reached the boys, Mouse was on the ground trying to staunch a bleeding nose. Todd was just looking down at him.
“What the hell is going on?”
Jared bent down to Mouse. His nose didn’t appear to be broken, just bleeding heavily.
“Damnit! One of you better answer me.”
Mouse pointed a bloodied finger at Todd, glaring at him through watering eyes.
“The fucker hit me!”
Mouse’s voice was so high it was a squeak. Todd thought oddly to himself that must be the reason behind the nickname. Jared stood up and grabbed Todd who looked like he was dazed.
“Why?”
Todd was just standing there, staring at Mouse. He didn’t move or answer. A rough shake got his attention. Cold green eyes bored into him. Todd couldn’t answer, it had been an automatic response. It was over and done before he even realized he’d thrown a punch.
Disgusted Jared returned his attention back to Mouse, and helped him up.
Mouse caught the look in the large mans eye.
“Dude! I swear, all I did was walk up to the Dude and he fuck’n hit me!”
“Calm down, Mouse.”
Again those cold eyes speared Todd. “That true Todd?”
Todd could only nod. He locked eyes with Jared and wished he was someplace
else...very far away. He saw the murderous glare in those green eyes and took off at a dead run for the stairs.
“Mouse hold your nose like this. Now, can you get home okay? Good.”
Assured that Mouse was okay, Jared took off right behind Todd. The kid had a
good head start and he was quick as a cat. Jared’s long legs enabled him to
leap down several steps at once making up time. About the 9th floor Jared leaped
down the last few steps and tackled Todd just as he was grabbing for the door. They both burst through the door and into the hallway, startling several of the people working there. Todd got up first but a hand on his ankle tripped him.
In the next second a hand on the back of his shirt and his pant waist had him
up on his feet and suspended in the air.
“We need to have a chat, you and I. We’re sorry for disturbing everyone. Aren’t we, Todd?”
“Fuckoff!”
Eyes like green fire burned threateningly. Jared the human tank gave him a
rough shake, so hard is rattled his teeth.
“Isn’t - that - right -Todd?”
“Yeah, sa, sorry.”
Todd was grabbed by the arm almost painfully and dragged behind the
tank down the long hall, past the stunned onlookers. At one point self -preservation took over and he tried to yank free.
“Leggome! Get off, fucker!”
All that got him was a hand of iron squeezing the feeling out of his arm and jerked to a faster speed. Jared tossed Todd into the private elevator.
When the doors closed Jared turned to him and lifted a finger in warning.
“Not one word Ansley. Not a single word, breath, peep or fart. You got
me?”
That voice could have frozen flame into an ice sculpture. Todd nodded, rubbing the feeling back into his arm. He felt the elevator sink instead of rise. Jared saw the unveiled worry in Todd’s face.
*Good. Let the punk worry a little.*
Seconds later the doors opened to the main lobby floor and Todd was dragged out of the elevator by the scruff of his neck. The first thought he had was that
Jared was going to throw him in the street. Strangely, he feared that more
than Jared’s temper. Instead he was shoved past the surprised guards and
into the gym. Jared had been so angry at Todd he hit the wrong button. Well he had an idea.
It was dark and empty, Jared didn’t seem to notice he just plowed through the darkness. He stopped at the double doors that led to the room Todd remembered had the punching bag it, he got scared. A large hand slapped the lights on and Todd was pushed to the center of the room. It was bigger that he remembered. There were some other things he hadn’t seen that night. There was a boxing ring and some gymnastic equipment, too. Before he could take it all in, Jared began to yell at him.
“I’ve warned you and warned you about that fucking temper of yours! What is with you?”
Jared was really pissed, he rarely cussed like that, let alone actually yell at him and he was yelling now.
“You just won’t fucking listen! So I guess I’m gonna have to show you again what those temper tantrums will get you.”
Jared grabbed him and dragged Todd to a pommel horse and shoved him roughly over it, holding him in place with a heavy hand. Before Todd could react, something slapped him across his seat.
<THAP>
Looking over his shoulder he saw Jared’s arm raised and holding a belt.
Todd never saw him take it off. When, where and how, became of no importance as Jared lashed him across the butt again. The sound exploded off the walls.
<THAP >
“OW!! Fuck!”
Todd kicked and struggled but he never moved an inch. Or if he did, the belt followed him, locked on target and a direct hit each time.
<THAP> <THAP>
“Argh! Knockifoff!”
Beyond painful, he reacted almost on instinct. He shoved violently against the horse and was able to shake off Jared’s hold. Spinning around he grabbed and wrapped the belt around his arm in one quick move. Todd stared the large man in the face. Jared’s face was set firm, eyes like emerald fire and there was an edge to that deep voice that spoke with unnerving calm as he moved into Todd’s personal space just inches from his own nose.
“Don’t square off with me, little man. You wont win, all you’ll do is make a bad situation worse. You have two seconds to get back over that.”
“Fuck you!”
“Or, I’ll skin those jeans off and you”ll really have something to cuss about.”
Todd absolutely believed him and with a hot glare, stiffly he jerked his arm
free of the belt. He knew he had no chance of escape yet his eyes slid to the door.
“Huh uh. Don’t even try, you won’t make it two feet. Just how far do you want to push, Todd. Think about it. Work it out. Are you willing to gamble that big?”
Todd couldn’t make himself take that chance, a big part of him so desperately wanted to fight but a bigger part of him refused to bring that much trouble on himself. That belt hurt and he didn’t want to lose his pants. Angry as he was at
Jared’s power over him, he was more afraid than angry. Jared gave him a slight shove towards the horse, Todd was not done deliberating, a second firmer shove made his mind up. With a look that could render skin, Todd turned and faced the pommel horse hating himself for the frightened whuss he was becoming. Just as he was about to lean back over it, his pride rebelled.
*fuck this shit*
Todd braced his hands on the vinyl apparatus to rise back up but Jared’s large hand held him firmly to the horse, seconds later the belt cracked painfully against his bottom. He couldn’t keep his cry behind his teeth.
“Shit!…fucker!”
<THAP THAP THAP THAP THAP>
Jared laid on five hard licks. Tough as he thought himself to be Todd couldn’t help it, he even begged Jared to stop.
“Please! Stop it fuck Jared Jared staaaahhhhpa!”
Todd’s anger dissolved under the lash of the belt followed by his bravado,
leaving him afraid and feeling small and very close to bawling. Each lick made Todd yelp in pain. He couldn’t stop himself. Jared stopped after just five more very hard licks but it was all he could make himself deliver. The pained cry’s pierced Jared’s resolve, visions of Todd and bloodied and bruised flashed in his mind. Jared weakened, he couldn’t rid himself of those images. Jared flung the belt at the door.
Angry at Todd for being such a brat, was the only term he could come up with and angry at himself for being unable to give this brat’s stubborn butt what he was begging for. Once again, against his better judgment Jared let Todd off easy.
Though Todd didn’t see it that way. Todd felt Jared’s hand ease up and that was all he needed, his anger flared white hot. Jared let go of Todd, he was almost too late in his reaction to the fists that swung wildly at him. Images of young abused Todd faded before the older, dangerous Todd. Jared’s own temper quickened.
“Boy, you just don’t learn. Fine, you want to fight me?”
Todd was picked up like a sac of grain and tossed up on ropes of the close by boxing ring. Before he could get through the ropes he was pushed through them and down onto the mat, Jared right behind him. Todd’s temper was ruled by panic, he scrambled to his feet and blindly lashed out at the big man with his fist. His blows were easily deflected, like they were no more than a pesky fly and he got a smack in the face for his effort. Not hard but it did not feel good, it brought him up short.
“C’mon, kid. Show me what you got.”
Jared stood toe to toe with him. He opened his arms wide. “Here I am. Take a shot kid.”
Todd was never one to pass up an opportunity so he threw a punch. Again it was deflected and Jared smacked the other side of his face.
“Whatsamatter, Toyboy? C’mon, tough guy, you like to hit so much, so hit me.”
“C’mon fight me like, show me what a man you are.”
Todd’s temper erupted, he attacked Jared with every thing he had and he knew how to fight. Jared was impressed. Todd had a style all to himself, and if he wasn’t so blind with anger, Todd might be a small challenge. Jared was still able to dance around him.
“Stand still, fucker!”
Jared smiled but it was without humor it was geared to infuriate the boy and it worked. Todd was about to have a melt down. Todd swung wildly, but he could never land a punch. Jared ducked or deflected all of them with an ease that was frightening. Jared’s hands however managed to pop Todd with perfect precision, each time. His face, the back of his head, chin, and his ass.
Those hits pissed off Todd the most. Jared just finished roasting his ass with a belt and nearly every opportunity he landed a hard blow on that throbbing area. Todd realized he didn’t stand a chance, but pride kept him from giving in. Soon his temper gave way to frustration at not being able to hit Jared or block Jared’s hits. Frustration gave way to something else. It shook him up, made him feel small, helpless, which sparked his anger or was it fear. The lines began to blur between the two.
Jared watched Todd closely. He wasn’t hitting the kid hard. The smacks did not even leave a pink mark, yet they were working. Todd didn’t look so angry now. He looked like a scared little boy, he was slower now, concentrating on his attack and anticipating where the next smack would hit. Todd’s punches became calculated but also more hesitant and he flinched after each one, knowing a smack was coming. Soon there were more flinches than punches. Jared was sure the kid was done. Most of the fight had left Todd a while ago.
“Are we done, do you still want to hit someone?”
Jared knew that Todd had been putting up a show for pride’s sake, but he was running out of pride at the moment. Todd was bent at the waist with his hands braced on his legs. Sweat poured down his face and his breath was labored with gasps that sounded suspiciously like sobs. Jared knew Todd would never admit to them being anything close to that. Bloodshot eyes glared at him but all Todd did was nod silently.
“Good. Look, I know you think your life sucks right now. I’m sorry you
feel that way. But you don’t go punching people in the face because of it.
Buddy you hit any thing that lives, breathes or eats…I don’t care if it’s just a plant, I’ll make earlier feel like a day at the races. Don’t ever make me have to use a belt again. Oh believe me Todd, I will use it again if you raise a hand to anyone again. I’ll lay it on so hard that even just the word belt alone will hurt.”
Todd just snapped back, his voice horse with tears. “I didn’t make you use the fucking thing in the first place.”
Bending down to become eye level, Jared put his face into Todd’s. “Didn’t you?”
Todd lowered his eyes giving in, Jared’s alpha dominance on full display.
Todd couldn’t help it but a slight shudder ran down his spine at the thought
of any further sessions with that damn belt. Nodding his head that he understood he waited in the uncomfortable silence that stretched out between
them. Todd fought to get control over his breathing and his emotions, he was so close to just losing it and bawling right here, his butt really hurt, he could feel his heart beat in it, or it felt like he could. Jared climbed out of the ring, he turned back to face Todd who looked wholly confused and unsure right now. Jared hardened against the boy’s distress.
“Come over here.”
Hating himself for his obedience Todd slid through the ropes and found
himself in front of the tank like a scolded puppy. Jared just pointed to the
punching bag.
“You want to hit something you hit this. No one hits around here, not
me, Mouse or even Deek. We all use this.”
Jared punched the bag to punctuate. “To take it out on the bag not the body. You get pissed and want to hit someone. You come down here and wail on this whenever you need to. Have I made this clear enough now?”
Jared waited for Todd to make some smart assed remark about how he’s just
been hit. Todd only listened and kept his eyes on the floor. Jared knew he got his point over, no reason to belabor it or he’d loose Todd’s attention that way. The dark head moved in a positive motion.
“Then we’re done here. No garage the rest of the week.”
“What? You can’t do that. You got no right.” A blonde eyebrow arched in challenge.
“ I can do that and I have every right, it’s my garage. Want to make it off limits all next week too?”
Jared turned and walked away without Todd’s answer, dreading the fireworks
sure to come.
“No, <choke> I need… to put some things away first,” came the soft, halting reply. Jared could hear the emotion held back in Todd’s voice, it nearly cracked with it. He turned back, Todd was stone still waiting.
“Such as?”
Todd shrugged nervously. Jared didn’t miss the hand that reached behind to
discreetly rub. “I left the welding torch out and my…the tools are not put up.”
There was no open hostility just a nervous avoidance of eye contact. Jared relented just happy Todd didn’t lose his temper over it.
“Okay, fine. You will be home no later than 6:00. After that no more garage for the week. Clear?”
The kid was clearly displeased and nearly argued with him. Jared swallowed a
grin, as that hand reached back again to test tender flesh. He didn’t miss the frown that twitched on Todd’s brow for a microsecond. He waited while
Todd weighed his choices.
“Yeah…clear.”
*Smart choice little rebel* “Good.”
Todd watched as Jared picked up his belt and left the gym. Alone now his
traitorous temper reared its head. *chicken shit* he walked over to the
punching bag and for a long moment just stared at its worn leather body
before giving it a half-hearted sock. There was something close to satisfaction to the sound and feel of it. Hitting it again harder this time Todd was rewarded with the same sensation. He began to unleash his temper on the bag. He didn’t really mind the sting in his knuckles it felt…almost good, took his mind off the other part of him that had been stinging.
Just like most evenings Deek finished his last lap of jogging up and down the buildings ten flights of stairs and was headed for the gym to hit the weight room and showers. He walked in though the door and headed for the mirrored wall lined with nautilus machines and rows of neatly stacked weights. He froze, a small noise caught his ear. Moving to the double doors that separated boxing area from the rest of the gym, he saw Todd at the punching bag. He was noticeably upset and having some difficulty.
“FUCK!”
It wasn’t helping the boy’s mood any either. Deek decided to risk a few pointers before the kid injured something. He walked up on silent feet and watched Todd attack the hapless bag. There was the promise of some talent in the kid’s moves, he was quick, just untrained.
Todd felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickle, startled he swung around to face Deek’s placid face.
“Wanna let me show you how to really hurt that thing,” Deek asked mildly.
Todd’s openly startled expression turned cold and unreadable. There was something deep going on behind those dark eyes. Deek was prepared for the negative response but was surprised with a curt nod.
“Well all right, boy.”
Todd waited for Deek to blast him about hitting his precious rat boy but Deek said nothing and Todd didn’t bring it up either. Deek put Todd in the proper stance and distance from the bag and he got on the other side of it to steady it for Todd’s punches. He called out the blows.
“Ready?....right, left, right, right, left, jab....good...sock it to it, baby...yeah that’s it.”
Deek paid close attention to Todd’s face. It was completely focused on his task. But there was something intense going on with the kid, but he wasn’t giving the bag all he could give...Todd was holding back on something.
After a good long while Deek called halt and gave Todd some more pointers as well as grab some boxing gloves for Todd his fists were very red.
“Damn. I should have had you put these on first. They’ll be sore in the
morning.’
Todd just shrugged and jammed his hands into the gloves. Deek showed
him how to fit them and help lace them. He couldn’t get over the boy’s face.
Damn pretty white boy. Finely featured, angelic, elfin even, was a good
description of his face. In sharp contrast to whatever was always boiling
just beneath the surface. Not even the way his hair was matted to his forehead
with the sweat that ran down his face and soaked his t-shirt detracted from
his Hollywood looks. The kid was a lot like Jared. Masculine on the outside
and mascara on the inside. Deacon wasn’t being unkind in his opinions. He
didn’t look down on Jared’s life choice, he respected and accepted the man
for who he was. Todd? Time would tell. Jared’s choice in relationships didn’t matter to Deek. It was whether or not one was to be trusted. This little man had a lot going on inside. Maybe knocking the stuffing out of the punching bag would unload some of whatever it was that was weighing down the kid.
“Ready to go again?”
Another curt nod. And they began again.
“YEOW! Look out...kid’s hot, baby...yeah...that’s what I’m talking about…good, jab jab, left, right, right, Good job, Todd, real good.”
Deek still felt Todd was holding back. Like he was afraid to let loose.
He called for another break.
“Good, okay...Todd, try this...hit it like..I don’t know..like someone who messed with your bike or something or kicked your dog.”
Deek got a sharp look from Todd.
“What kid?”
Todd just lowered his eyes before Deek could read anything into it. Todd shook whatever it was off and began to hit that bag a little harder.
“Harder, Todd harder! Again...again. Hit that bag..again....put a name to it...give it a face, own it!. Yeah that’s it...Hurt it, Todd. Harder!”
Todd did what Deek said and began to hit harder and harder...it felt good, he could feel a building of something and it wanted out. He could hear himself grunt loudly with each punch. Closing his eye’s he gave the bag a face and hit with all he had... but then there was another face and soon another before he knew it the bag was gone and standing in front of him was all the faces of his nightmares, he punched and punched but fear was crushing his anger and stealing his strength.
Watching Todd all the while, Deek saw him start to let it go, he could feel the strength behind those punches grow as the bag slammed against him with each punch, there was some surprising power in them. Todd was starting to exercise those demons. Then the oddest thing happened. Todd’s face paled and his punches grew weaker and his punches began to falter and then no more hits.
Deek stood silently with Todd who was just staring at the bag now, his breathing had been labored a second ago but was now shallow and jagged to the point of stopping altogether. The boy’s lips even darkened. Todd even seemed to have forgotten he was standing next to him.
“Todd? You all right, kid?”
Todd snapped out of it, and looked at Deek like he just materialized out of
the blue. There was a panicked look for just a split second then the boy backed away from the bag. He began to rip off the gloves.
“Yeah...fine. I’m done.”
There was a ferocity in his voice. Deek was not sure where it came from but
he didn’t want Todd to leave like this, to just let his anger swallow him whole.
“No...you’re not. Not just yet. Gotta cool down those muscles.”
It was true and a good excuse to keep the kid from storming out. Todd
looked at him like he was trying to decide if he was going to tell Deek to fuck
off or not. Deek waited and watched for the decision. He saw some of the tension leave and assumed it was decided in his favor. Todd’s eye’s darted back to the bag and then briefly to the black giant in front of him and nodded.
“Good. C’mon over here.”
Deek lead him to a large mat that covered a 24X24 area of floor. “Ever hear of Qigong?”
The only answer he got was a silent shake of the head. Well that was fine.
“It’s a type of martial arts...but slow and mellow...like a dance but with a hidden power behind the movements. It’s a great way to cool down.”
It was a better way to cool down a hot temper but Deek chose to keep that little secret to himself. In fact he was going to show Todd Tai Chi instead of Qigong for starters Todd would not know the difference. Deek stood away from Todd, so not to get in the kids space and stood relaxed and straight. Todd did the same...minus the relaxed part. Deek stared very slow, making clear, repetitive, fluid movements and deep breaths. He watched as Todd deftly mimicked his movements, stiffly at first then more and more softly and correct. Soon he and Todd were moving in sync. Todd’s color was back and he was breathing deeply now. Todd wasn’t totally relaxed but he wasn’t so hostile now. Deek would almost say Todd seemed to be enjoying this, going a step further Deek tossed in a the end some breathing exercises, soley for the purpose of relaxing and calming the mind, he just let Todd think it was all martial arts. Todd surprised him at how much promise he was showing at Tai Chi, Deek would talk to Jared about allowing him to teach Todd more...it could only help.
“Okay, I think that’s enough. Why don’t we head out now and get some
dinner.”
Todd slipped his shirt back over his head, he’d taken it off earlier. “Naw, I need to go clean up in the garage”
While the kid was no longer hostile, he wasn’t all warm and fuzzy either. “Okay, kid. Hey you did great for a first timer. Think you’d like to workout again sometime.”
All Deek got was a noncommittal shrug but it beat a kick in the ass, as far as
he was concerned it was an improvement. Todd left the gym and headed for the
elevator. He had to walk past the guards who averted their glances, all except for one. The older guard smiled and shook his head slightly. Not so much to
patronize but understanding that it’d been a rough day.
Just wanting to be alone, Todd was less than tickled when the elevator doors opened and there was Meg with sacks of what looked like food around her on the floor.
She didn’t miss the exasperated look on the boy’s face. Not one to let such small things ruffle her feathers, she smiled brightly. “Hi, sweety.”
Todd made eye contact but that was it. He stepped in and pushed the button.
“Bad day, huh?”
The beautiful head of rich, dark hair nodded. The elevator beeped as they
stopped at her floor. “Well don’t just stand there, boy, help an old lady with all these bags.”
Confused, brown eyes met steady, hazel eyes. She was looking at him like he was simpleminded. Todd bent and hefted several bags for her and followed to the apartment door before he found his voice. “I don’t think you want me in your house?”
“Now why would you say that? Set your bags on the kitchen counter please.”
Todd stood in the open doorway and readied himself for her to kick him out.
“I hit Mouse.”
“I know, hurry now, I need to get the milk in the fridge.”
He was surprised. She acted like he just made a comment on the weather.
“Aren’t you… like upset?”
Taking the milk from Todd, Meg directed him where to put the rest of the groceries. “Should I be? I trust Jared had a humm…discussion about it with
you.”
The boy across from her nodded, not meeting her eyes. “Then, no, I’m not upset. It’s over and you paid for your actions. Paid a high price, didn’t you?”
Heat flushed Todd’s face. Did everyone know he got his ass roasted?
Taking pity on the boy’s embarrassment, she said, “Your having a tough time here, aren’t you, sweety?”
His eyes averted her’s. Giving her the answer she already knew. She poured a
large glass of milk and set a bag of cookies down on the counter he was leaning on. “Here, sit with me. You and Mouse, well that will work itself out. There are just some things that aren’t allowed. Like borrowing Deek’s wallet, cussing around Brian and me by the way. More important, you don’t throw punches as people. It’s just that simple.”
Todd just spun his glass around as he listened to her waiting for the yelling to start. But Meg’s voice never grew any louder. A warm, soft hand placed on his,
stopped the glass, she rubbed his hand with hers soothingly. Todd began to relax almost against his will. Her vanilla fragrance, kind eyes and voice seemed to place him in a mellow mood.
“You can talk to me, honey, anytime.”
All she got was stoic silence.
“Men, you all have to be so tough, don’t you?” she teased. Cold eyes lifted from the glass of milk.
“I wouldn’t know, according to Jared I’m not a man.”
There was bitter resentment in his tone.
“Oh, sweety, off course you’re not a man, Todd, you’re only 17.”
Todd just leaned back in his chair and folded his arms. He was so tired of all that crap. “I am 18. I’m…or will be 18 in a few months.”
“Okay, but that still only makes you an 18-year-old boy.”
His tone matching the insolent look Todd cast the older woman.
“Boy? Yeah I got your boy.”
Meg was not impressed with Todd’s loutish remark.
“Don’t be vulgar. Fine, a young adult if you prefer but still not a man. Honey, it will happen but not just yet. Not for a few more years. It takes time and growth, learning, not birthdays alone.”
Slouching on his arms, Todd fought her logic. “Yeah? What about Ra…Mouse? He’s what, 20? And everyone talks about him like he’s just some kid, too.”
Meg smiled indulgently. “You’re right, Mouse is 20 and he is as you are, mature for your age.” She added to sooth bruised teen pride. “Yes, because like you, he’s had a less than pleasant childhood. You are both mature, yes, all grown up? No. Mouse still has some growing to do, but not a great deal, you have to understand he has a few years on you.“
A look of utter disgust appeared on the boy’s face. Meg felt for him. “Todd, I’ve raised three boys, Brian was ten and Jared was just a baby when I was hired. Then a few years ago Mouse came to us. So I have some experience with this subject. And I have found that real adulthood doesn’t show till your mid-twenties, sorry but that is just how it is.”
Raising a dark eyebrow, Todd tested her theory. “What about Jared. He’s in his mid-twenties.”
A rye grin lifted the corners of Meg’s lips. “Yes. Yes, he is. He is most definitely an adult. Do you see him differently? Other than an adult?”
Sharp hazel eye’s sparkled with challenge. Todd didn’t. The three men he found his life tangle with were perhaps the most adult men he’d ever been in contact with. “No.”
Todd dropped his head to the table in frustration. Meg rubbed a hand through
the silky mop of dark hair. It was in bad need of a trim. Todd let her work her magic on his scalp, it felt like heaven. Long buried memories of similar touches clouded his brain. Todd let himself be wrapped in them like a favorite blanket.
Meg knew the affect her touch was having on the boy. He was giving in, just a
little. She could almost feel the inner turmoil, she had no doubt he wanted to give in to life here, to Jared’s. He just couldn’t bring himself to, just yet. So much young male pride to over come.
“Sweety, no one expects this to be easy on you, okay no one does. It’s hard, it’s different from what you’re used to, I know. But you have to give it a chance, Todd. Give Jared a chance.”
That same soft hand reached for his buried chin and lifted it to meet firm
hazel eyes. “ He truly cares about you, Todd, he…”
Whatever she was about to say was interrupted by the phone. “Oh, sugar!…here have some cookies, I’ll be right back.”
Todd sat at the counter in an odd state of relaxed comfort. Reaching for a cookie he popped it in his mouth. Closing his eyes Todd enjoyed the sweetness of it and the mood he found himself in. The mood was ruined quickly by a door in the wall opening, Mouse walked into the apartment. He froze at the sight of Todd sitting in Meg’s kitchen and bristled.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
Whatever he was just feeling dissolved at the acid tone from the short blonde. With a sigh of regret, Todd got up from the counter and faced Mouse, he opened his mouth to begin to apologize. Blue eyes narrowed in contempt. It would be a waste of breath. Todd just headed for the door but he was grabbed by the arm.
“I asked you a question, asshole.”
Jerking his arm free. Todd noticed the blacked area between both of Mouse’s eyes and his temper cooled. He had done that and it didn’t sit well with him.
“What are you doing here?”
“ I’m leaving, that’s what.”
Mouse pointed at the door. “There’s the door. Don’t let it hit you in the ass on the way out.”
Watching with smug satisfaction as Todd left. Mouse grabbed the bag of cookies off the counter and popped a few in his mouth.
“Mouse? Where is Todd?”
“Gone.”
Shooting Mouse a sharp look Meg hurried to the door but the hallway was empty. Stepping back into the apartment she found Mouse drinking the glass of milk she had poured Todd.
“Boy.”
Mouse blinked back at Meg in innocence, the look she cast him nearly soured
his milk.
“What?”
Jared was sitting on the couch staring off into oblivion. He had no idea he was being watched.
“Something going on, girl friend?”
Looking up to find Deek smiling at him, Jared just let out a big sigh and gestured for him to have a seat. “Deek, with Todd, there is always something going on.”
“Uh oh. What the brat do now?”
Leaning back deeper into the couch Jared found he was still pretty upset over this morning, he could hear it in his own voice. “Oh nothing much, just that he had a melt down in the kitchen and followed that up with punching Mouse in the nose.”
Deek’s dark eyes widened. “What?”
“Yeah, socked him clean between the eyes.” Seeing his friend frown, Jared clarified. “Mouse is fine, his eye’s blackened some but nothing is broken. Meg called to let me know he was okay, pissed but he’ll live. Todd? I’m not so sure of.”
Relaxing after the momentary shock and concern for Mouse passed Deek got more comfortable himself. “Any idea what set him off...other than just breathing.”
Shaking his head sadly Jared looked over at his best friend. “Deek, I don’t know what to do.”
“Bullshit.”
Looking up into Deeks stern features. “What?”
“You heard me. That’s bullshit and you know it, don’t you?”
Tiredly Jared nodded. “I know, Deacon...I know.I...I just can’t get past this.”
He tapped the file on the coffee table containing details of Todds’ past and the horrible photos of his abuse.
“Yeah, it’s tough. But you signed on for this, girlfriend. You gotta see it all the way.”
“I know, Deek, I know that.”
Deek glared meaningfully at Jared. “I know you think you know. Tell me, Jared, how many warnings and second chances are you going to dish out before the kid catches on to the empty threats and then where are you? You’re the one that said you wanted to give him structure, safety, discipline a real home. You can’t do that if there is no respect. Right?”
Raking a hand in agitation threw his blond hair Jared stood and began to prowl the room. “Aw, Deek I know what my gut tells me to do. But my mind gets all
wrapped up in this. There’s no doubt he has it coming..frequently. But is it the way to handle Todd. He’s so...I don’t know...so…so Todd all the time. Brian said the same thing you have. Bust his ass. I just don’t know if it is the way to handle him. He is practically grown.”
Deek looked at his friend with a look of utter annoyance. “You’re full of shit and you know it. Since when has age…under 21 anyway stopped us from getting our tails whupped? Girlfriend, you almost got that white, 25-year-old ass of yours beat just a few weeks ago. Don’t use that played out excuse it don’t cut no slack and you know that well.”
Deek could see that Jared was very upset and confused. He changed the
subject. He told Jared how he found Todd in the gym.
“Yeah, I know he was down there. Did you know that little punk tried to run from me after he punched Mouse. I nailed him on the computer floor. We gave them quite a floor show.”
Smiling Deek could imaging the looks the must have got. “No, I didn’t know that. I’ll just bet you did. So how did he end up in gym?”
Hooded green eyes lifted with a sparkle of mischief in them. “I dragged our little rebel without a clue down there and roasted his ass with my belt. How was he? Todd was pretty upset, upset enough to take a swing at me. I put him in the ring for a lesson, I don’t think he’ll pull that again. Can you believe that? Right after he got his butt beat.”
Deek looked at Jared sternly. “What I can’t believe is that you let him off so easy. You should have taken his hide off for that crap, Jared, he looked nowhere near as punished as that boy should have been.”
Sheepishly Jared agreed. “How was he when you found him?”
“Pissed at the world.” Deek told him about showing him how to hit the bag and Todd’s bizarre way of reacting to the bag.
“I honestly can’t tell you what happened, Jared. I told the kid to put a face on the bag and if he did, it was the face of Satan himself by the look on the kid’s face.”
Jared was in deep thought for a long time. “Deek, I am never going to get anywhere with him if I can’t get him to unload whatever is eating him. And it’s eating him alive.”
Deek stood to leave the room. “Jared...you will, just not overnight. I know that, you know that, we all do. As for the rest of them.”
Deek pointed to the folder on the desk. “You’re not one of them. You would never beat him, tempted to? Hell, yes, who wouldn’t be with his mouth. But you never would. That file is his past, Jared, you’re his future and if he’s going to have one it will be because you kept him safe and in line. You gotta go with your gut. Follow your instincts, they’ve been right so far. Jared, the best thing you can do for that boy is, praise him when he’s good, spank his ass when he’s out of
line. I know it sounds too easy but it’s the best anyone can do for a kid.”
Jared was left with a lot to think about. Deek made a lot of sense, the man always did. Picking up the file, Jared placed it back in his desk drawer. There was a lot of truth to what Deek and his brother had said. Returning to the kitchen
and making dinner preparations Jared knew they were right. It was time to
think about Todd’s future.
On to Part Sixteen of Y2K12 
