Past (1/3)Mulder stared dully at the floor of his hotel room.
It was over. Samantha still unaccounted for, and now a little girl surely traumatized by the days events.
And it was his fault. *His* fault.
The look of disgust on Skinner's face made him shiver, even now. He'd blown it. The best relationship of his life over because he was stupid. His fault. All of it, *his* fault.
In many ways his obsession had made him strong.
Smart. Tough. So many of his achievements based on a
desire to be the best he could be, just to find
Samantha. His natural intelligence coupled with this
determination had made him surely the best the F.B.I.
had to offer. He had the ability to act completely
individually and independently, without a thought for
convention and other people's opinions.In many ways it had made him weak. The slightest
possibility of finding Samantha alive was a tool used
again and again to manipulate him, and one he was as
powerless as the twelve year old he had been when it
first took him in it's grasp, to resist. It clouded
his usually excellent judgment. It had prevented him
from forming any type of meaningful relationship.
Until now.Now he had Scully, her friendship and respect. Now he
had Skinner. *Had* had Skinner. No longer. And it
was his *fault*.He was surprised to discover a tear trailing down his
nose. Without the only relationship in his life to
ever make sense to him, he didn't know what he was
going to do. He knew many people would be shocked by
the nature of their relationship, but to Mulder, it
provided a security, a haven, a balance in his life he
had never known.*Past*
Mulder looked, apprehensively at the door of the
office. He had seen the new A.D. only briefly, but
that glimpse had created a lasting impression.He was an impressive man. Huge, handsome, with an air
of authority that had reached out and grabbed Mulder'
attention from across the parking lot.What he had heard from eavesdropping on the
discussions of other agents, who had been called in
before him, had contributed to the keen curiosity
Mulder had in regard to A.D. Walter Skinner. His new
boss was tough. Very tough. An ex-Marine who had no
time for slackers. Or for sloppy reports.
Over-running budgets. Unauthorized investigations.Mulder considered the lack of concrete results he had
experienced in many of his cases and shivered in
dread; not many courts agree to prosecute your average
vampire misdemeanor. The condescending tone of his
usual reports. The unmentionable contents of the
X-Files budget. The numerous 'hunches' and
'instictive' leaps, in his defense usually correct,
that occurred in the course of his investigations.
Mulder was not looking forward to this meeting.Agent Matthews had received a huge dressing down for
his sins, Mulder had heard. Over a measly lack of
commitment, which seemed rather meager to Mulder in
the face of his own transgressions.The X-Files were rumored to be history. Without the
support of the A.D. they really couldn't continue.
The previous A.D. - a friend of the Governor's - had
turned a relatively blind eye. Skinner didn't seem to
be a 'blind eye' kind of guy.Well, Mulder would fight him and fight hard. The A.D.
may be a bit scary, but Mulder was nothing if not
determined and dedicated. No one in the
investigations division worked harder than he did. He
could prove numerous successes to Skinner, where even
if the actual facts of the case were slightly
unaccountable, the perpetrator *was* apprehended."You may go in now, Agent Mulder. You're next."
***
"Good morning, Agent Mulder."
Skinner looked just as impressive as he had before.
"I've been reviewing the X-Files cases, and have a
number of concerns."Mulder's apprehension increased. Straight to the
point. OK. "Sir. While the needs and challenges of
the X-Files are very specialist, they are directly
relevant to the department's most current
investigations. Many recent cases would not have been
solved without threads of evidence gathered from old
files. We keep up our case-load, and have a high
solve rate. You can't shut us down.""I am aware of the case history Agent Mulder, and I
feel the X-Files perform a relevant function in
today's bureau."Mulder prevented his jaw from dropping open, but it
was close. "Sir?""My concern, Agent Mulder, stems not from the
motivations behind the X-Files but rather their
execution.""Sir, Scully and I both work as hard, if not harder
than, any other agent in the bureau, we...""Agent Mulder. Will you please stop interrupting me."
A hard edge crept into Skinner's voice. "Your
department is run much like this conversation. There
is scant concern given to the proper channels. If you
want to make the X-Files generally acceptable, you
must try and work inside bureau procedure as much as
possible, then, perhaps, you will lose this fear that
they will be taken away from you." He met Mulder's
eyes shrewdly."Yes, Sir," Mulder was shocked at the release of
tension this sentence provoked."Another serious issue raised from my reading of your
cases is the number of times bureau property, yourself
and Agent Scully have been damaged. Your last case
resulted in the loss of two cell phones, a rental car
and, very nearly, your own right leg, is that not so,
Agent Mulder?"Mulder searched for the humor in the Assistant
Director's expression and found it deadpan. "Yes,
Sir, but the...""A simple 'Yes, Sir' will be sufficient, Agent
Mulder." Again there was no smile. "It is clear this
matter must be addressed, Agent Mulder. You appear to
be quite the most talented agent in this department,
yet the grasp of something as rudimentary as personal
safety seems to have eluded you."Mulder felt rather affronted by this, but his reply
was stemmed by a sharp look."You *are* aware of my military history, Agent
Mulder?""Yes, Sir."
"A young soldier in my own unit was quite the most
promising I had seen; excellent weaponry and
subterfuge skills, an amazing comprehension of tactics
and strategy, but a complete disregard for his own
personal safety. Our C.O. was actually able to cure
it for him. While the young man in question had no
concern for his ass in battle, it seemed he was much
more concerned for his ass, when the consequences were
literally applied to that area."Mulder was sure he'd lost the plot of the story
somewhere. "Sir?""A physical demonstration, Agent Mulder, of just how
foolhardy his actions were. My own parents used the
same method very affectively. I propose we introduce
a similar system for you."Mulder took an involuntary step backwards.
"I don't understand," although he did.
Skinner looked at him directly, and spoke seriously.
"I believe it is important for the X-Files to
continue. But they *must* be better run if I am to
justify their continuation to the higher authorities.
I am also old-fashioned enough to believe it is
important to maintain the health of my agents. And
old-fashioned enough to believe this is the way to
achieve those objectives. A disciplinary spanking,
Agent Mulder.""No," he moved further away, shaking his head. His
own parents had never touched him, that being almost
the literal truth, and the idea caused his heart to
pound and his breath to quicken. "The Bureau would
never allow it. It's assault. *Sexual* assault. I'd
report you...""Agent Mulder. You're right, of course. The bureau
would never support it. But the bureau will also no
longer continue to support the X-Files without the
whole-hearted approval of the Assistant Director, and
an improvement in procedure. The X-Files *will* close
without these, and this is the only way I can
visualize an improvement. Clearly, from your records,
no amount of Bureau action has been able to achieve
this. And, Agent Mulder, I assure you, a spanking can
certainly not be sexual, as I learnt by experience
from my own parents.""I need more time to consider this. I can't..."
"You need to decide now, Agent Mulder. My first
divisional review board as A.D. is tomorrow morning,
and I will need to justify my decision to continue the
X-Files."Mulder stared at him helplessly. "I can't. I have no
guarantees that you wouldn't do something more than,"
he struggled over the words, "spank me. I'm opening
myself up to physical abuse. You could simply beat
me."Skinner looked at him directly. "You do have
guarantees. You have my word. We will have mutually
decided rules. You could report me at any moment if I
break them. If I were simply abusing you, your body
would bear the evidence, and you could have me
arrested. And I'm also trusting you, Agent Mulder.
I could support you publicly and officially in the
X-Files for the first few months, then you could
renege on our deal, putting me in a very difficult
position. And you are trusting me to keep my word and
support you, and not abuse the agreement we come to."Trust. Mulder couldn't remember the last time he'd
trusted anyone, let alone a perfect stranger. But he
felt, surprisingly, that Skinner was genuine. The
young agent made one of the intuitive leaps he was
famous for, based on Skinner's appearance of utter
sincerity. "It *is* a dangerous job, Sir. I don't
have a safe desk job," he ventured."Yes. But I will evaluate whether you risked your
life *unnecessarily* based on the reports I receive
from you, Scully, and any other authority involved in
your investigation. We will discuss any punishment
required, and only for risking yourself, or others.
Also, you *will* follow bureau procedure in regard to
the care of bureau property, filing reports and
requesting assignments, or you will be punished,
although less severely.""Do we have an agreement, Agent Mulder?"
The room was starting to spin. The day had started so
normally. Now he was discussing spankings with his
boss. His instinct told him it would be alright.
Skinner could just have demanded...anything from him
'or lose the X-Files'; who would believe 'Spooky'
Mulder over A.D. Skinner? He didn't have to explain
it, or make an agreement. And the reality was, even
if he felt he couldn't trust Skinner, he would have to
agree to it. For the X-Files. For Samantha. his
conscience left him no other choice.He took a deep breath and met Skinner's eyes. "Yes,
Sir.""Good. We'll address your last assignment now, so you
know what to expect. In regard to your failure to
follow bureau procedure in filing your case request,
Agent Mulder, I simply warn you to be more careful
next time, in light of our arrangement. But I must
address meeting an unreliable informant with no
back-up, and without informing anyone of your
whereabouts. You will receive 25 strokes with my
ruler, does that seem reasonable?"In truth, Mulder was unsure what was reasonable any
more, but 25 swats of the rather innocuous looking
ruler, although it was an 18" one, certainly wouldn't
really hurt him. "Yes, Sir""Drop your pants, Agent Mulder, and bend over my
desk."The reality of the situation hit him suddenly,
realization of the humiliating position washing over
him in waves. He flushed in embarrassment.Skinner said nothing, knowing what was going through
his mind, and knowing the position was a very
important way of reinforcing the lesson.Slowly, Mulder moved over to Skinner's desk and let
his pants fall down. His face flaming, he slowly bent
over the desk."You will count aloud for me, Agent Mulder."
Skinner's voice was hard, but the hand placed on the
small of his back was warm, and strangely comforting.Suddenly a line of fire made a startling impact on his
vulnerably positioned ass. He gasped, shocked at how
much it stung, even through the thin cotton of his
boxers."One."
The ruler continued to fall on his defenseless
buttocks as he counted aloud. He felt the stinging
heat from the ruler all through his body. He'd never
been spanked before, his parent's method of punishment
had been much more hurtful; withholding the small
amount of affection he received as a child.His first thought when the spanking was mentioned was
as a sexual activity, something forbidden. He
remember illicit thrills running through him as his
friends described spankings received from their
parents. Now, the confusing sensations of prickly,
stinging pain, the humiliating position, the warm
weight of a large hand on his back and his acute
embarrassment, all combined to make his nerve-endings
extra sensitive. He felt tingly all over his body and
the beginnings of arousal at his groin.The building heat in his punished bottom by the tenth
stroke was becoming painful, and he found it difficult
to maintain his decorum, clenching his buttocks
against the sting, his hips twitching, small gasps
escaping him at each stroke. The embarrassed
confusion and painful sensations intertwined, and he
found his breath hitching in his throat, his voice
wavering as he counted. At the twentieth stroke a sob
escaped him, and his humiliation increased. He wiped
surreptitiously at his face, not wanting Skinner to
see his tears. His upturned bottom felt like it was
on fire, he would never have expected a spanking to be
so painful, and the heat and humiliation spread
through him, carrying him on a wave of sensation.In the back of his mind he felt a faint, surprising,
feeling of... release. It felt good to be enduring
something he didn't want for the X-Files, as he
personally enjoyed his work immensely, independently
of his search for his sister. He felt like he was
suffering for something, for the X-Files, for the
pursuit of Samantha, giving something more personal
than just dedication to his job.He was unable to make real sense of it at the moment,
however, as he rode on waves of pain, sensation,
humiliation and confusion.Finally he sobbed out "Twenty five" and jumped out of
position instantly. Skinner turned away as Mulder
hurriedly rearranged himself, to give him the illusion
of privacy. He pulled his pants up too quickly,
hissing as the material chaffed his thoroughly
chastised posterior, wiping at his face, then pausing
before humiliatingly adjusting himself in his pants,
just in time before Skinner turned around. Skinner
looked at him, but Mulder couldn't meet his eyes."You've been very brave, Agent Mulder. You've shown
me your commitment to the X-Files and to our
arrangement. I will be supporting you and the X-Files
from now on."Mulder said nothing, but Skinner didn't really expect
it. "You may go now, Agent Mulder. I hope you will
keep this in mind in your future cases. I shall see
you and Agent Scully together, first thing Wednesday,
to discuss your latest case. Dismissed."Mulder looked up and met Skinner's eyes for a brief
moment before shooting out the door.Skinner exhaled heavily before sitting down. He
wondered if he'd done the right thing. He'd heard of
Mulder long before he accepted his new position, both
derogatory and complimentary remarks. Skinner was far
from blind to the strange things going on behind the
scenes in the bureau and the government, and he knew
Mulder was a part of them. He had decided upon
reading Mulder's cases that he had to support him, but
also rein him in. He was out of control in a way that
Skinner felt would lead to disaster either physically,
personally or professionally with a real possibility
of him being removed completely from the game for
something as simple as bureau procedure. Skinner had
made a pact with himself that he wouldn't let this
happen. As much as he was able he would help Mulder
in his quest against the powerful, shadowy men.He'd decided long before meeting Mulder to implement
the method most effective in his martial experience.
He knew that eventually Mulder would appreciate it's
straight forward directness...maybe not just now, he
thought with a slight smile.The smile faded as he remembered Mulder's face just
before he fled the room. A mixture of emotions openly
displayed on his flushed face that had tugged strongly
at Skinner's heart. His *beautiful* face, he amended
silently, before pushing the thought away. That was
his problem to deal with, and he wouldn't burden
Mulder with it.He'd seen in that face a bone-deep fear that Skinner
was not being honest with him, would use and betray
him, an intrinsic belief that no one was really to be
trusted, that eventually *everyone* would hurt him.
Skinner wondered what it would take to make Mulder
really trust him, and, remembering the look on
Mulder's face, resolved to make absolutely certain
that he realized that he now had someone on his side.
Finally, and for good.
On to Part Two of Tenses
