Everything You Wanted To Know About Taylor But Not Bothered To Ask!

A SHORT INTRODUCTION

As part of my on going publicity drive I present you with this report for your consideration, as a worthy and just recipient of 15 minutes of fame, thus being declared The Man of the Millennium.

To impress, inspire and humour you, I offer you my final card. A complete chronicle of who I am and what I’ve done & achieved.

This is not the truth, ladies & gentlemen, this is the facts. A comprehensive exposure of my Soul.

TAYLOR: MAN OF THE MILLENNIUM

THE MOST HONEST & REVEALING REPORT OF ANY POLITICIAN EVER, set before you in a format of lists and brief stories, contributing to who I am and what I’ve done & achieved. These are major topics that I am passionate about and which have left a lasting impression on my life. The report covers many issues:

In a certain way I’m attempting to ‘show off’ to you. It’s the written equivalent of shouting from the roof tops, about who I am and what I have to offer;

To give you a factual representation of whom I am and what I’ve achieved, I’ve mixed the lists with memories presented as very brief stories, which add credibly to the 15 minutes of fame claim. This is the first time a politician has presented himself this way.

I’m doing it because I need to eliminate War, Poverty and Child-abuse, and I can't do it all by myself.

The point & purpose is to convince you that I deserve the 15 minutes of fame, to be declared 'The Man of the Millennium'. The report has been divided into sub-headings, referred to as ‘Major talking points’.

MAJOR TALKING POINTS

BOOKS
CARS
CHILDREN
CONCERTS
COUNTRIES VISITED
DREAMS, AIMS, GOALS
FAVOURITE MUSIC
JOBS
HEROES WORSHIPPED

I include this information because I feel that in some respects ‘you are all that you read’, thus by revealing my book list I’m hoping that you will get a clearer picture of my imagination and interests.

BOOKS READ
The list is chronicled in the 'Book Record' document. Suffice to say I read my first book cover-to-cover, aged 15; the author was Robert Maxxe, the book - Arcade. To date I have read over 201 books cover to cover. I specifically mention 'cover to cover' because the numbers of books I've started but not finished, are too many to count. I’m also I huge comic fan, having read literally thousands.

ARCADE
PET CEMETERY
FAMILIAR SPIRIT
MAGIC COTTAGE
THE CHRYSALIDS
LITTLE FUZZY
ME
HERITAGE OF THE STAR
TEN LITTLE NIGGERS
STILL MISSING
SEEDS OF YESTERDAY
PETALS IN THE WIND
A PAIR OF JESUS BOOTS
BEIDERBECKS AFFAIR
SALEM'S LOT
IT
EREBUS
THE SWORD IN THE STONE
THE BOOK OF THREE
TARAN THE WANDERER
THE HIGH KING
ANIMAL FARM
THE CASTLE OF LLYR
THE OWL SERVICE
THE EYES OF THE DRAGON
MISERY
THE STAND
THE DEAD ZONE
MOON
THE RATS
KANE AND ABEL
LAIR
TALISMAN
CHRISTINE
RAGE OF ANGELS
TIM
THE TOMMY KNOCKERS
THE DARK
STARK
THE FOG
HOLLYWOOD HUSBANDS
THE DOMAIN
THINNER
EXORCIST
PHANTOMS
WATCHERS
STRANGERS
MIDNIGHT
LIGHTNING
THE HOBBIT
NIGHT CHILLS
SHATTERED
THE BLACK CAULDRON
GHOUL
THE WORLD ACC TO GARP
TWILIGHT EYES
THE VISION
CHASE
WHISPERS
IKON
DEATH WATCH
THE GODFATHER
THE MASK
FIAERY TALE
THE HOTEL NEWHAMPSHIRE
THE NEVER ENDING STORY
DARKNESS COMES
VOICE OF THE NIGHT
MATTER OF HONOUR
SHALL WE TELL THE PRESIDENT
THE BAD PLACE
TWIST IN THE TALE
FIRST AMONGST EQUALS
BEING
NOT A PENNY MORE, NOT A PENNY LESS
THE DARK HALF
IF TOMORROW COMES
WINDMILLS OF THE GODS
THE OTHER SIDE OF MIDNIGHT
THE SERVANTS OF TWILIGHT
RESURRECTION DREAM
THE WAR OF THE WORLDS
THE NEGOTIATOR
THE DEVIL'S ALTERNATIVE
THE FOURTH PROTOCOL
THE FACE OF FEAR
A TIME BEFORE GENESIS
CREED
DRAGON-FLY
THE DOG'S OF WAR
MAGICIAN
OF MICE AND MEN
SILVERTHORN
CRADLE
MAJESTIC
AT WINTER'S END
A WREATH OF STARS
CYCLOPS
THE STRATEGIES OF ZEUS
THE DAY OF THE JACKAL
BRAVE NEW WORLD
DOWN & OUT IN PARIS & LONDON
THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING
THE TWO TOWERS
THE SUCKING PIT
THE SLIME PIT
COLD FIRE
THE MASKS OF TIME
A SONG OF TWILIGHT
TIME THIEVES
THE STAKE
SUMMER OF THE NIGHT
SONG OF KALI
THE PEARL
NEVER LOVE A STRANGER
'V'
CARRION COMFORT
THE SHOW MUST GO ON
BLUE ANGEL DAYS
NEEDFUL THINGS
DOLORES CLAIBOURNE
TWILIGHT  
HIDE AWAY
POSSESSION
HE 
PROSPECTS
THIRTEEN DAYS
DREAMER
LIES OF SILENCE
THE M.D
COVER STORY
EAST OF EDEN
GRIDLOCK
HISTORY OF THE FUTURE
CHARIOTS OF THE GODS
RETURN TO THE STARS
TOWARDS A HUMAN WORLD ORDER
AQUARIUS CONSPIRACY
INVERTED WORLD
CALLING ALL MONSTERS
HAUNTED
WILD SWANS
STARS SHINE DOWN
GENESIS
PROJECT PENDULUM
CONGO
SINGAPORE PASSAGE
JAGO
THE CELESTINE PROPHECY
THE CROW ROAD
BURIAL
INSOMNIA
THE DOOMSDAY CONSPIRACY
CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT
THE WOODS ARE DARK
THE NEW TESTAMENT
DREAD DOMINION
THE HAPPIEST PEOPLE ON EARTH
A DANGEROUS ENERGY
PRIME DIRECTIVE
THE TIME BEFORE THIS
JUDGE DREDD
BATMAN KNIGHT-FALL
MILLENNIUM
THE DEATH & LIFE OF SUPERMAN
SURVIVAL
STOWAWAYS
THINK & GROW RICH
RALLY CRY
DESPERATION
DR WHO & THE TENTH PLANET
BONES OF FRANKENSTEIN
STRANGE HIGHWAYS
B-5: BLOOD OATH
CAMELOT 3000
ON HER MAJESTY'S SERVICE
BEYOND WORLD'S END
DOCTOR NO
THE FOURTH ESTATE
REGULATORS
SOLE SURVIVOR
DARK RIVERS OF THE HEART
FLASH GORDON
THE KING'S BUCCANEER
SHADOW OF A DARK QUEEN
RISE OF A MERCHANT PRINCE
THE TRUTH
ALCHEMIST
RAGE OF A DEMON KING
PORTENT
IT
HARRY POTTER & THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONE
LONDON
B-5: VOICES
BLAST FROM THE PAST
POPCORN
BOTHAM: MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY
SHADOW OF THE EMPIRE
VOL 1: HEIR TO THE EMPIRE- STAR WARS
FALSE MEMORY
B-5: LEGIONS OF FIRE
SEIZE THE NIGHT
TIME LINE
OTHERS
B-5: CLARK'S LAW
FROM THE CORNER OF HIS EYE
DREAMCATCHER
RALLY CRY #1
TERRIBLE SWIFT SWORD #3
THE BRETHREN
BAG OF BONES
THE SEASON OF PASSAGE
KISS
A GLIMPSE OF STOCKING
THE SEVENTH SCROLL
TOOTH & NAIL
THE VISITOR
JONATHON LIVINGSTON SEAGULL
ALONG CAME A SPIDER
DOLLY DOLLY SPYVOYAGERS
I, ROBOT

CARS

I shall now list the cars I've owned, each with a brief outline of the circumstances attached, the story. There is always a story.

1. A 1977 Chevy Nova, V8 Engine, blue in colour.
While in Houston living with my cousin Donald, Aunty Jill & Uncle Don. (Donald's parents) who came to Houston to lay foundations for their eventual resettlement from the UK to USA. Part of their foundational work was to buy a car. The aforementioned car was what they brought. The magic was that they left, leaving the car free for me to use, and boy it got used.

2. A Ford Cortina, 2 ltr GL, grey in colour.
I gained ownership of this vehicle in a most unusual manner. A ‘Rip Off’ would be a better description. I was working for a local labourer while in Hove. When it came to pay day, the boss offered me an alternative to the traditional wage. A car. And like a fool I accepted, though even more foolishly I paid him £50 of my savings for the privileged. In return I got a car, with a years MOT. A car when I had no driving license and no insurance. All factors that didn't deter me from driving it around town.

3. A Vauxhall Astra, 1.6 ltr, white in colour.
The first car legal and above board, brought from another soldier while in Germany. £2000, money well spent. To which I’ve still got today, languishing alone and cold in a garage in Orkney.

4. My fourth car will be a 2.5 ltr Jaguar X-Type Sports car, silver please.
(In Order)

CHILDREN

Lovely creatures, but I couldn't eat a whole one! No children yet, but father figure to Amy and Abby (My nieces).

My Grandmother once gave me some advise before she died- ‘Matthew’ she said. ‘Have as many children as you possibly can’. Advise that I plan to adhere to.

CONCERTS (Not including theatre shows)

I shall now tell you which artists I've seen in concert, where and with whom.

1. Bruce Springsteen, Wembley London, with Aunt & Uncle

2. Lenny Henry, Conaught Theatre Worthing, with Aunt & Uncle

3. Dr Hook & the Hamsters, Lancing Community College, with the extended family

4. INXS, Brighton Centre, with the extended family

5. The Doors tribute Band, Concorde Bar, Brighton, once with a friend and again with the extended family

6. Eddie Izzard, Dome Brighton, by myself (A ticket was given to me by a tout, free of charge!)

7. Meatloaf, Brighton Centre, with my sister and friends

8. U2, Wembley London, with work mates

9. The Rolling Stones, Wembley London, with friends

10. Magic (Queen tribute band), Dome Brighton, with friends

11. Britney Spears, Expo 2000, Hanover Germany, with friends from the RMP
(In Order)

COUNTRIES VISITED

I shall now list which countries I've visited & lived.

1. France, with the extended family for a day trip

2. South of France with extended family to renovate a Mansion

3. America, Houston, with my Grandmother staying with my cousin Donald

4. America, Upstate NY and the Eastern coast, to work at Camp America

5. Montreal, Canada, while travelling, day trip

6. China, Hong Kong, to live & work

7. Thailand whilst travelling

8. Indonesia, Sumatra, Nias Island, whilst travelling

9. Malaysia, Singapore, whilst travelling

10. Wales, summer holiday with family and extended family

11. Spain, Barcelona, a weekend trip with friends

12. Holland, Amsterdam, a few days with friends from the RMP

13. Belgium, drive through

14. Germany, 2 years plus with the Army

15. South of France/Holland, AWOL with my mother

16. Scotland, Orkney Island, the resting place of my dearly departed mother

17. Times Square, NY USA, alone over the Christmas 2001 period.

18. Bahamas with Karina

19. The Algarve in Portugal with Karina
(In Order)


DREAMS, AIMS AND GOALS

I shall now list all that I confidently believe I can achieve, if I didn't believe I could do it, I wouldn't even bother mentioning it.

Call me mad if you will, I can only reply-
"We live in a strange world, during strange times, where anything is possible".

1. To launch a Political Party and run in a Local/General Election

2. To write a book

3. To appear on a TV show

4. Be recorded in the 'Who's who' book

5. Be a father and husband

6. Eliminate War

7. Eliminate Poverty

8. Eliminate Child-Abuse

9. Be a father & husband

10. Own a boat

11. Own a Spaceship

12. Visit the outer planets, especially to see sunrise on Venus

13. Play football like David Beckham

14. Play tennis like Pete Sampras

15. Play cricket like Ian Botham

16. Be a Secret Agent like James Bond

17. Be the most exclusive Life Coach in the World

18. Live to be over 150 years old

19. Win a Jaguar X-Type 2.5 ltr car from the GQ Magazine

20. Marry Karina Moran

FAVOURITE MUSIC

This is a complete record of my music collection as of when I left for the south of France with my Mum. Alas all my CD’s were stolen by those stinking French frog legged French people.

BABYLON 5 THEME MUSIC
BANANARAMA GREATEST HITS
BEATLES SGT. PEPPERS LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND
BIG BLUNTS BIG BLUNTS
BLIND MELON BLIND MELON
BLUES COLLECTION BB KING
BONEY M THE BEST OF
BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN BORN IN THE USA
BURT BACHARACH MILLENNIUM EDITION
CAT STEVENS REMEMBER
CAT STEVENS TEA FOR THE TILLERMAN
CAT STEVENS TEASER & THE FIRE CAT
CHRIS DE BURGH SPANISH TRAIN
CHRONICLES 70'S ROCK CLASSIC
CLASSIC EXPERIENCE II DISKS I & II +
DAMON JOHN STRANGE DREAMS
DEEP PURPLE BEST OF
DEPECHE MODE SONGS OF FAITH & DEVOTION
DEPECHE MODE SONGS OF FAITH & DEVOTION (LIVE)
DIRE STRAITS BROTHERS IN ARMS
DOOBIE BROTHERS LONG TRAIN RUNNING*
DOORS THE BEST OF +
ERIC CLAPTON BEHIND THE SUN
ERIC CLAPTON AUGUST
ERIC CLAPTON TIME PIECES
FINE YOUNG CANNIBALS THE FINEST
FLEETWOOD MAC TANGO IN THE NIGHT
FLEETWOOD MAC RUMOURS
FOSTER'S ICE GLOBAL COOLING
GUNS 'N' ROSES APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION
HORROR THEMES HORROR THEMES
INXS THE GREATEST HITS
JIM STEINMAN BAD FOR GOOD
JOHN LENNON LEGEND
KD LANG JUST KEEP ME MOVING*
KATE BUSH THE WHOLE STORY
KENNY ROGERS 20 GREATEST HITS
LED ZEPPELIN REMASTERS+
M PEOPLE BEST OF
MANOWAR HAIL TO ENGLAND
MARC BOLAN ACOUSTIC WARRIOR
MARILLION MISPLACED CHILDHOOD+
MEATLOAF BAT OUT OF HELL
MEATLOAF THE VERY BEST OF
MOODY BLUES IN THE SEARCH OF THE LOST CHORD
MUSIC OF THE MILLENNIUM DISK I & II
NAZARETH GREATEST HITS
NEIL YOUNG HARVEST
OASIS DEFINITELY MAYBE
PINK FLOYD DARK SIDE OF THE MOON
PRINCE SIGN 'O' THE TIMES+
QUEEN PRE ORDAINED
QUEEN GREATEST HITS
QUEEN FLASH GORDON SOUND TRACK
ROCK DIAMONDS VOLUME II
SANITTA AQUARIUS*
SANTANA SUPERNATURAL
SAXON BEST OF
SHERYL CROW TUESDAY NIGHT MUSIC CLUB
SIMON & GARFUNKLE THE VERY BEST OF+
SIMON & GARFUNKLE BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER
STARLIGHT EXPRESS MUSICAL HIGHLIGHTS
STARWARS EPISODE I
STARWARS A MUSICAL TRIBUTE
SUPERTRAMP THE VERY BEST OF
TALKING HEADS BEST OF
TANITA TIKARAM BEST OF
THE CARS GREATEST HITS
THE GHOSTS OF OXFORD STREET
THIN LIZZY JAILBREAK
THIN LIZZY WILD ONE
THOMAS DOLBY 12x12 ORIGINAL REMIXES
TINA TURNER PRIVATE DANCER
TOM JONES & THE CARDIGANS BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE*
TOMMY (WHO) THE SOUND TRACK
TOP OF THE POPS 2000 DISK I & II
WAR OF THE WORLDS +
WET WET WET GREATEST HITS
WHITESNAKE 1987
WHITNEY HOUSTON THE GREATEST HITS+
WINGS GREATEST HITS
YES BEST OF
YES THE LADDER
YES SWEET DREAMS

JOBS

This will be an exercise of my memory power. A list off my employments, job title, which I worked for and where.

1. Bomb detector aged 5-6 years old
(Yes its true, I used to go to work with my Granddad, he was employed as a caretaker for the local Tax Office. He used to get me to check under the cars for bombs. Of course I thought it fun. Unbeknown to me, checking for bombs was part of his job description)

2. Paper boy for the Evening Argus & Leader, Hove, Portslade & Fishersgate

3. School cleaner, Cardinal Newman School, Hove

4. Early morning cleaner, Tesco, Porstlade

5. Shelve filler/cashier, Co-op, Portslade

6. Shelf filler, Tesco, Portslade

7. Factory worker, electronic assembler, Portslade

8. Gardner for an elderly lady, Hove

9. Sales assistant, Plastic Plumbing Sales, (First job after leaving school), Portslade

10. Stock controller, SDW (Southern Diskette Warehouses), Hove

11. Drainage Engineer, Sussex area (Lasted for one day)

12. Labourer for a local builder, Hove

13. 'Bowling Lawn' labourer assistant, Sussex area

14. Grape Picker/Labourer, South of France

15. Fruit machine installation engineer, Brent leisure, Portslade

16. Bowling Alley Attendant/ Au-Pair, America Houston

17. Bar/Cellar man, Butlins Holiday Camp, Bognor Regis

18. Camp Counsellor, Camp Kiwago, America, Up-state NY

19. Painter/Delivery assistant, for the Pakistani who owned the local corner shop, Portslade

20. Telephone repair engineer, CWS (Communication Wholesales Services) Worthing

21.    Doorman/Barman/Waiter, Mad-dog's, Hong Kong

22. Waiter/Barman, Pomeroy's, Hong Kong

23. English language teacher, Hong Kong

24. Barman, Jimmy's Sports Bar, Hong Kong

25. Commodity dealer, Hong Kong

26. Arcade Manager, Concorde Arcade, Brighton

27. Barman/Waiter, Dudley Hotel, Hove

28. Glass collector, A bar in Brighton

29. Labourer for a ‘cowboy’ firm in Fishersgate

30. Cellar man, Palace Pier, Brighton

31. Commodity, Brighton

32. Sales man, Cyclops Eye Security camera, Hove (Lasted 1 day)

33. Street Seller of string toys, Brighton

34. Painter for a local whore, Brighton (One off job)

35. Royal Military Policeman, British Army, Germany

36. Tele-salesman, Brighton

37. Golf door to door salesman, Maxum Marketing, Rustington & surrounding areas

38. Shelf filler, Cash’n’Carry, Moulsecombe

39. Waiter/Thirst Aider, Gemini Bar, Brighton

40. Weed Killer, TVM, Brighton

41. Security Guard, Guards UK, Brighton

42. Pharmacy Assistant, Brighton
(In Order)

HEROES WORSHIPPED

Last but not least is a list of all the people & characters that I hold in the highest of esteems. These are the men and women that I look up to, who I want to be like and who I admire the most.

1. Judge Dredd
(The Lawman made famous in the comic pages of 2000AD, Judge Dredd is off the greatest influence on me, and in many respects he is my most influential father figure)

2. Alfred E Newman
(Made famous in the comic pages of MAD Magazine, another father figure who is responsible for my humour)

3. Superman

4. Elvis

5. Neptune God Of The Oceans & Seas
(I have the utmost respect for the sea)

6. Ali the Greatest
(I hold a theory that Ali hasn’t actually got ‘Parkinson Disease’, the truth is he is the real Superman, his shakes & trembles are due to the turbulence of flying through the air for all his life)

7. Slaine
(Another 2000AD character, renowned for his capacity to let loose in the most physical of senses)

8. John Lennon
(Because he could ‘imagine’)

9. David Beckham

10. The Royal Truth: My Mother



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© S.O.S 2005

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