/\{}[]\/^*&#^-/\{}[]\/^*&#^-/\{}[]\/^*&#^-/\{}[]\/^*&#^-/\{}[]\/^*&#^/\ \/ \/ /\ THE CHRONIC! /\ \/ \/ /\ Issue 3 Acting Supreme Editorial Mistress: /\ \/ \/ /\ /\ \/ March 2005 Absinthe \/ /\ /\ \/{}[]\/^*&#^-/\{}[]\/^*&#^-/\{}[]\/^*&#^-/\{}[]\/^*&#^-/\{}[]\/^*&#^\/ The Token Easter Issue: In Which We Say Very Little About the Holiday at Hand, Thus Making This Title Rather Cumbersome Featuring: Absinthe by Tapmo Note of a Drunkin Nature by Bradlyford Nobody Loves a Fat Pig by Absinthe ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Introductory Attempt ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Welcome welcome welcome to all. On this beauteous weekend of a certain holiday that involves bunnies and crucifixion, there are two very special omniscient entities we should give thanks to. Without the two of them the true spirit of this, this "Easter" would never be able to manifest itself. First we must thank the amazing Ishtar The Light Bringer, the Babylonian not low, but HIGH mother goddess for whom this day of candy for atheist children is named. May we have love, war, and fertility as she ordains it. Let us also not forget that she was known as the "promiscuous goddess" and be sure to live and fornicate in excess on this day as she would wish us to. Secondly, but definitely not leastly there's one Man who is everywhere, all the time and His presence is especially predominant on holidays such as this. I think you all know who I mean, that glowing, shiny, comforting presence of the spirit of commercialization. Without Him there would be havoc in the streets, and worst of all there would be a lot less useless stuff. I ask of you: Where would we be then? How would we survive? Would people have to perhaps (oh fair readers, I shudder to contemplate it) THINK? Don't quake in your beds friends, that is indeed a future that shall never come to pass. Fear not, and enjoy your candy. -Absinthe ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * ~Tapmo~ I wanted to write something with the word absinthe in it. I saw the word and it made me crave writing it, like craving a certain food. But I can't even focus on that right now. Something's in the way, obstinate like the head in front of you at the movies. It's this I want to know: who are you? No really, I want to know. Do you ever eat with your fingers? Are you the type of person who picks the first new release they see? Or do you deliberate in front of the rows of rectangles for half an hour? Do you correct people and say 'whom' when they say 'who'? Do you even have to stop yourself from saying 'whilst'? Do you have a crooked smile? Are you a straight shooter? Do you have a crooked past? I want to know the bumps, the swerves, the pot holes, the little off-roads no one knows. Did you die once? Were you convinced you would never be born? But you had to scream and dig your way back when no one seemed to bother mourning? I want to know, because the longer we draw this out, you every night at the bed, me at the desk, it's you who's keeping us all from writing words like absinthe. Note: One night two people under the names of Bradlyford and Absinthe embarked on an alcoholic adventure. The next morning this was found: ~Bradleyford~ Meeet me at noon (1200 pM ) Bradlyford Sry aboot the note hunny, I am In an I'm a faggot drunk ~Absinthe~ I hate the mall. Loud, annoying, crowded and full of people that deserve the right to drive themselves off a cliff. The claustrophobia and mild agoraphobia, needless to say, do not help the situation. Then there are the shops. Clothing stores all peddling the same wares with different labels, all marketing the ideal woman, student, man, and life. The latest trend in such places (mostly female clothing distributors) seems to involve the reduction of clothing sizes, the majority of chain stores feeling the need to make sizes smaller and smaller as seasons and years go by. Not that the consumer base takes very much notice of this, they are already too busy trying to fit themselves into the molds these trends have created for them. Personally, I mostly shop at thrift stores to avoid such it (and the clothes in general), but unfortunately that is not the decision most people make. A good example of this occurred recently when I accompanied my thirteen year old sister to a store that she had to return a pair of jeans to. The store could not give her a cash refund, and instead gave her store credit, so she decided to pick out some clothing seeing as we were already in the store. The first thing she tried on, a large pair of jeans: too small. She tried on a tank top: the same thing. About an hour and a half later we were still in the same position. NOTHING it seemed in the store would fit her, with the exception of an extra large belt, on its largest notch. Contrary to what you may be thinking at this point, my sister is by no means a large girl. As a matter of fact she has only recently gotten to a healthy weight after a rather lengthy struggle with bulimia. For girls with similar self-image issues, those in the early teen years, or anyone really (just naming the typical low body image groups first), it can't be a fun experience to try on article of clothing after article of clothing to be told that you're a fat pig. "We tell you what beauty is, and obviously it can't be anything other than what we say it is, so why don't you go home missy, put on a moo moo, drink some bacon grease, and suck down a tub of lard in front of the television, before purging in the bathroom like a good little drone." seems to be the essential attitude of the media and the clothing industry, and the public prefers to take little or no action towards fighting it. In one case at a local middle school, they were having a problem with girls, at the ages of 11, 12, and 13, making themselves vomit in the school washrooms. When the teachers were made aware of this, rather than calling in a guidance councilor, giving the students the facts, or calling the parents so they could seek help for their children, they simply got all the girls together in a classroom, and told them that what they were doing was "really bad", and imposed a rule that all girls must now go to the washrooms in pairs. Perhaps I'm cynical, but going to the bathroom in pairs is not only ridiculous as a solution, but also, when one considers the pack mentality of middle school aged girls, it will probably simply serve as a way to get the few girls in that wing of the school (it was a French immersion program, with only three, small homeroom classes) that were not already engaging in the behavior started. Situations like this prove that contrary to popular belief, eating disorders are not restricted to cheerleader and the odd fat girl. We think we live in a society where we talk openly, as we sit smugly saying only a few misguided youth of today would ever get involved in "that business". How have we educated people? A couple after school specials of "Saved By The Bell" or "Doug" or something similar? It's always the same episode, no matter what the show: lead female character decides she is overweight doesn't eat her carrot sticks at lunch time, thus alerting her friends of an issue friends in turn try to confront her about her "serious" problem lead female character participates in an athletic activity only to pass out heartfelt yet mostly uninformative brief discussion on eating disorders not being "groovy" problem solved, roll end credits Essentially we've taught people that exercising without food isn't a good idea. Other than that though, most people think all eating disorders do is make you skinny. Some of the more informed might even know that you lose periods and hair, but very few people know how far it can go, until they're experiencing the consequences. Loss of teeth, anemia and heart disease to name a few. As a matter of fact the current media circus is focusing unceasingly on the Terri Schindler-Schiavo case as of late, but the majority of people I've spoken to have no idea that bulimia is the most likely cause of the cardiac arrest that led to her brain damage. Seeing as the case is already over publicized, one would think that it would be used as a point to illustrate the consequences of eating disorders. It is a fact that eating disorders are a serious problem. Unfortunately, one of the main reasons that it is still a problem, is that people don't want to see it that way. Everything seems to be about being thin these days, and parents and children alike are buying into the new social stigma of being a healthy weight. Unless people open their eyes to what's going on, things are going to get a hell of a lot worse before they get better. * Your editorial misstress is by no means an egomaniac *shifty eyes* _____________________________________________________________________ / \ - The Chronic is always interested in submissions. Should you find - - yourself possessed with the urge to contribute a documentt of sorts, - - feel free to email it to eversoobviouslychronic@yahoo.com . As long - - as it amuses the small minds of the staff to some extent, we'll - - probably give it the nod. Length doesn't matter due to the fact - - quality is bundles more important than quantity. - - - - www.geocities.com/eversoobviouslychronic - \_______________________________________________________________________/ By the way, all this stuff belongs to the authors, and cannot be sold or stolen. Failure to comply with this simple request will result in Absinthe hunting you down wtih a chainsaw and her unholy rat army rat army of the night. Or maybe just suing you. Let's leave that one as a surprise. On that note, feel free to print, email or otherwise distrubute this document, as long as due credit is given. Under no circumstances should it be sold.